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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

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87. you’re a P.I. my parents hired to investigate my fiancee and you completely ruined my engagement party with the dirt you found but I want to know all the details right now

Sternclay, sfw or nsfw, please!

Here you go! I went NSFW and set it in the same universe as this Indruck fill. The orc designs are once again inspired by @kriskukko, whose art everyone should check out

The air is grey and chilly, and his best coat is still a bit too plain for this affair, but Barclay can’t help but glow. His husband to be is using this engagement party to invite him into parts of society he’s only glimpsed from behind kitchen counters or through windows on his way home in the early hours of the morning.

He didn’t even have to cook the table of delicacies and warm punches, which is usually his entry fee into any social space not hosted by Mama or his other friends back at Amnesty Lodge.

“Are you alright my dear?” William touches his shoulder. He’s the height of fashion from the new stud in his nose to the cut of his suit. Barclay looks at their linked hands, marveling at how his tattoos and calluses contrast with the smooth, unmarked green of Williams' skin. It’s wonderful to know he can be part of such an unlikely match.

“I’m fine. I just wish Mama and them could be here too.”

“Barclay, I know you care for them, but they agreed with me that this is not a party they’d feel comfortable attending.”

If memory serves, Mama’s word choice was “enjoy” not “comfortable” but he’s distracted from this detail by the orc currently in a hushed conversation with William’s parents. His accent is American, the same as Barclay’s. He knows William has no friends or family on the other side of the Atlantic, and he’s too well-dressed to be an attendant. When William’s parents fervently shake their heads, the newcomer turns and strides across the floor, right to the happy couple.

“Mr. Cobb” he offers Barclay a slight bow, shows no deference to William, “My name is Joseph Stern. I’m a private detective hired by your fiance’s family. They hoped I would find reason for him not to marry you. I have.”

“I, I don’t understand. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“No, you haven’t. The reason I suggest calling off the wedding is that he” Stern indicates William, “is not the least bit interested in you. He chose you because he knew his parents would disapprove of the match, which would in turn make it easier for him to call off the engagement two months from now and, three months after that, propose to his lifelong friend, Albert Rothby.”

Gasps and whispers fill the room. Barclay looks to William for reassurance but can’t find any; William’s too busy trading alarmed glances with Albert.

Stern continues, “His parents would be all too happy to accept the orc they once rejected for being from a slightly less well-off family after the shock and scandal of him almost marrying a nobody cook.”

“Hey!”

“His words, not mine.” The detective turns to the hosts, “You don’t need to pay me for my time, since I didn’t give you what you wanted. Good afternoon.”

A thoroughly baffled servant hands him his coat and hat as he exits, the room overflowing with chaotic accusations behind him. William doesn’t say two words to Barclay, choosing instead to shout at his parents. Barclay pulls off his silver engagement band, shoves it into his now ex-fiance’s hand, and storms out of the room.

He intends to make straight for the train station, hide his tears and humiliation until he’s safe under Amnesty’s worn shingles. But when he spies Stern on the corner handing coins to an errand boy, his foolish hope gets the better of him.

“How do you know?”

“Excuse me?”

“How do you know that’s really what William planned?”

Stern hails a cab, motions for Barclay to join him inside it. When they’re seated, he reaches into his coat and removes a bound stack of letters.

“Albert’s arrogant and sloppy; all it took was five pounds to get one of the maids to fish these out of his wastebasket.” He passes the notes to Barclay.

Each one he skims is like slicing his finger with a meat cleaver. Not a single piece of his personality or appearance remains unmocked by the time he’s done.

“I was just a game to him.” He stares at William’s signature, the same one that dots a pile of letters he’ll burn when he gets home. When he looks up, Stern’s face is full of sympathy.

“I considered not saying anything. That even if the engagement ended, you might be able to tell yourself it was a true love that wasn’t meant to be. But the longer I trailed you...I saw that you deserved better than being a pawn in someone else's trivial chess game. I offered his parent’s the chance for me to have the conversation in private; they doubled down on their insistence that you must be secretly awful to have lured their dear son to you. Ruining their party seemed fair.”

“I guess.” Barclay’s lip trembles. What was it William wrote? That he was as tender and devoted as a lapdog and twice as fun to kick around?

Stern produces a monogrammed handkerchief from his pocket, holds it out to him, “I’m sorry. I know ignorance is bliss but, um, wasting your heart on someone like him strikes me as hellish.”

Barclay wipes his eyes, but the tears insist on flowing, “No you’re, you’re right, it just, I, I really thought he loved me.” He lets out a bitter laugh, “I really am more brawn than brain, just like he said.”

“No, you’re not.” The cab slows, and Joseph’s blue eyes pin the pieces of his crumbling heart together, “and even if you were every single thing he said you were in those letters, that wouldn’t justify his treatment of you. You’re a good man, Barclay” he smiles for the first time, “someone will treat you how you deserve one of these days.”

The driver announces they’ve arrived at Barclays hotel. He glances at Stern, surprised.

He opens the door for Barclay with a wink, “detective.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Fall arrived on the first of September, meaning the business at Amnesty dwindles right along with leaves. They won’t see another flood of visitors until the winter holidays, when everyone travels up and down the country to meet with family. Barclay fills his days with work and tries not to think about how happy he was a year ago.

Dani has a cold, so he’s working the lobby counter until it’s time for him to start dinner. A chill and burst of nickel-tinted light announce a guest. When the orc approaches him, he drops his pen.

“Hello, Barclay. It’s nice to see you under happier circumstances.” Stern removes his hat, runs his fingers through his black hair, “would it be possible to rent a room here indefinitely? I’m on a case and I have no idea how long it’ll take.”

“Yeah, of course.” He pulls out the register to check which rooms are open, which would be easier if his eyes didn’t insist on flicking back to the orc in front of him. He’d noticed Stern was handsome before, in the same way he noticed the sky is blue or a piece of fruit was ripe. Now it’s all he sees; the cut of his clothes suggesting a trim, capable figure beneath, his clean shaveness showing off the angles of his jaw and cheeks. His tusks are the same size and not chipped like Barclays own. The cook wants Stern to sink them into his skin and not let up until he sobs for a kiss instead.

“Uh, here” he retrieves a key, “I can put you in number twelve. It’s upstairs, last door if you take a left.

“Great!” Stern takes the key, lifts his two bags, “thank you for accommodating me.” His gaze slows as it moves up to Barclays face, “I think I’m going to enjoy my stay.”

---------------------------------

Joseph hates the days where he has to wait for telegrams before proceeding with his investigation. It makes him feel like a dog gnawing its tail out of boredom. At least, it used to. Now that he’s at Amnesty, he’s never bored. It’s hard to be when the best looking orc he’s ever seen likes to talk with him while cleaning tables or making breakfast.

William Ashby is a fool. Joseph knew this when he watched him forgo a kind, interesting orc who was built like a god and had eminently kissable lips for the sake of some uninteresting upper class nobody. But now that he’s eating Barclays’ cooking every day, the opinion is twice as strong. No one should be able to make potatoes a divine experience, but his friend manages.

“No running around stuffy offices or abandoned houses today?” Barclay sits down across from him.

“Not until I get a telegram from that solicitor in London. Black or white?”

“White. Well, that’s good news for me, I get a chance to beat you.” He’s smiling, the firelight dancing in his eyes and off the copper in his beard. Joseph wishes he could mimic the light's path with his hands.

Instead, he grins as he lays out the chess pieces, “In your dreams.”

An hour and a half later, Barclay whoops, “checkmate” and Joseph falls even more in love.

-----------------------------------

“Barclay? Since it’s not raining I thought you might like to…” Joseph falls silent at the sight of Barclay sitting on his bed, facing the window with a defeated set to his shoulders.

“Sure, as long as we’re back before dark.” He shrugs and doesn’t so much as look over his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Joseph settles beside him, notices the handkerchief with his initials on it clutched between his hands. The tears on it are fresh.

“Nothing. Just, uh, just….this is the anniversary of when he proposed. Of when I thought someone loved me that way, of when I thought that, that...fuck, it’s gonna sound so silly.”

“You don’t have to say it but I, um, I hope you know I won’t judge you for whatever it is.”

Barclay twists the fabric, “I love my life here at Amnesty. I love Mama, all my friends, I love being a cook. But I’ve never been wealthy; Mama and I faced lots of hard times before coming here, especially when my folks died and she took me in. The Lodge does well but there’s always the fear that one day it won’t. I can be happy without fancy food or nice clothes or nights out but, uh,” he clears his throat, “that doesn’t mean I didn’t really like having them. I don’t miss him so much as I miss this feeling of being able to want without worry. Of, of thinking I’d get to do that forever.”

He lists to the side, rests his head on Joseph’s shoulder. He’s both taller and broader than Joseph, which adds to his charms, but right now the detective wishes he was smaller so he could gather him in his arms and protect him from the disappointing world. Give him what he’s missing.

An idea buzzes to the front of his mind. He rubs Barclays shoulder soothingly, “You have to go into London for some orders, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“I have to go in to deal with this case and check to make sure nothing urgent is waiting at my office. Do you want to go together?”

Barclay looks up at him, brown eyes glittering like precious metal, “I’d love to.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Barclay knows Joseph has wealthy clients; he’s starting to suspect he has even more of them than he lets on. They’re in London for two days, and every moment not spent sleeping or working is filled by Joseph taking Barclay somewhere. The meals are by far his favorite, but Joseph bought them tickets to the opera their second night. When Barclay worried he wouldn’t be well dressed enough, Joseph decided they could both do with new clothes and bought everything without blinking at the bill.

Now, Barclay is in a private box, belly full from their stop at Simpson’s and Joseph’s shoulder resting against his own. The music is beautiful, the staging intriguing, but he’s struggling to keep his eyes open, too warm and comfortable from the company and the darkness.

The port they had after dinner probably isn’t helping.

He rests his head back, let’s his eyes flutter closed. After a moment Joseph laughs softly and whispers, “A bit too full from dinner?”

“Mmmhmmm.”

“That’s okay. The whole point of tonight is for you to enjoy yourself. If that means happily lazing like a dog by a fire, that’s what you should do.”

Barclay tenses for a second, then relaxes. It’s not like when William kept referring to him as a dog; in Joseph’s voice it’s fond, like a master who knows he indulges his hound but doesn’t care.

“That’s me. Just a spoiled pet.” He murmurs.

Short claws trace across his upper thigh, “As it should be.”

His eyes flutter open; Joseph watches him in the dark, expression attentive and possessive. His fingers don’t move even a centimeter until Barclay nods. Then they finish curving over his thigh to stroke his cock through his pants.

No one can see them, but even so his eyes dart side to side before shutting once more.

“Good boy” Joseph sighs, “sweet boy.”

Barclay nods, squirms as the touches stay teasing.

“Don’t rush. We have a whole other act to go. Just keep quiet; you’re a big, sweet beast, I’d hate to have to” he presses his palm down, “discipline you.”

He bites his tongue to keep from groaning; when they’re back at the lodge, he’s going to misbehave so much.

Joseph keeps up his steady, calculated teasing, Barclay never moving past half-hard. He falls into an almost sleep-like state, feeling weightless and far away from himself yet completely safe in Joseph’s care.

Then swift fingers undo his trousers and a handkerchief wraps around his cock. He throws a palm over his mouth as Joseph jerks his hand up and down.

“It’s almost over.” The detective murmurs, chuckles when Barclay crumples to hide his face in his neck, “that’s it, be a good boy and---oh, oh good lord.” He stifles a sigh in Barclays hair while Barclay cums into the cloth, saturating it embarrassingly fast. William once compared him, unfavorably, to a centaur in that regard. Joseph simply kisses his forehead and tidies him up. By the time they exit, the only sign of their dalliance is Barclays wobbly legs.

He fully intends to return the favor, but sex-drunkeness and general exhaustion drag him to sleep before Joseph is even in bed.

Their morning is a brisk packing up of things followed by a trip to the train station. Once they’re in their cabin, Joseph looks over the notes he made during his research.

“I just can’t shake the feeling Mr. Newton is in danger.”

“Giant cursed hound will do that.”

“I’m not so sure that’s it. I’m not ruling out the supernatural, but there are elements of this that feel distinctly orcish and very much alive in their threat. I’m glad he brought that friend of his with him; were he in Beacon House alone, he could be in serious trouble.” He closes his small notebook.

“I still can’t tell if he’s more than a friend.”

“They might not know. The few times I’ve run into Mr. Newton or Mr.Cold, they seem to be in stalemate, neither willing to make a move.”

“Good thing you don’t have that problem.” Barclay winks, then realizes he might be reading the other orc wrong, “I, uh, I mean, not that last night has to mean anything.”

Joseph unbuttons his coat, “I, um, I hoped it might.”

“Thankfuck.” Barclay slumps back, “me too.”

There’s a click of the lock, then Joseph stands and begins undoing his pants, “speaking of which, it seems to me a good boy would reward me for last night.”

“Yes, oh fuck yes.” He scrambles to get his cock out, stroking it frantically as Joseph rolls up his sleeves.

“You’re so eager to please, it makes me want to give you everything you ask for.”

“Please?”

Joseph, now bare from the waist down, bends to kiss him, “Please what?”

“Please let me fuck you, let me mppph!” His moan slips straight down Joseph’s throat as he sinks onto Barclays cock.

“Ohhhhhyes, ohmylord” the tips of his ears twitch as he rocks his hips, “you feel so good”

“Y-you’re one to talk, fuck, Joseph can I touch you?”

“Anywhere you waAAnt” he tips his head back, whisper threatening to break as Barclay drops a thumb down to rub his cock. He sets his hands on Barclay’s shoulders, “we, we don’t have much time, and I do need to review more of the case before we arrive, so be a good boy and let me ride you hard and fast?”

“Yes, yesfuck, ohyeah” A laugh catches on his tongue as Joseph, his dignified, debonair detective, sets to bouncing up and down on his cock with the kind of abandon he only witnessed when he used to serve drinks in a brothel.

Joseph grins, kisses him messily as their grunts meld with the rumble of the train. Barclay glides his free hand around to grope and paw his ass, savoring how it tightens with the effort of riding, of taking Barclay again and again. Curious, he gives it a light slap, wishing he could see a little pink bloom on the green there.

“Careful, sweet boy; if anyone’s ass is getting bruised it’s yours.”

“Tonight?” He smiles hopefully at Joseph’s flushed face.

“Yes, Barclay tonight. Tonight I’ll, ohlord, strip you down, let you rut on the bed like the needy beast you are while I turn your ass tender and red before fucking it, oh, ohshit, Barclay.” He smashes their lips together as he cums, Barclay whining with pleasure at the fact that he got him there. The detective doesn’t break the kiss as he pulls off, simply uses his strong legs to keep straddling him as he jerks Barclay off with one hand and rucks his own shirt up with the other. Barclay moans helplessly as he cums in large, white droplets all up his stomach and chest.

“You’re wonderful.” Joseph kisses his cheek.

“So are you.” Barclay holds him close, giggles adoringly when Joseph starts concocting theories while half-naked and cuddled in his lap. By the time they reach home, there’s no sign of their dalliance.

Except for their linked hands and matching smiles.

#sternclay #agent stern/ barclay #meet ugly #orc au #victorian au

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nemetonisevilpassiton · 5 years

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Where we’re going we won’t need Eyes to see - a teen wolf meta

With Teen Wolf meta we have this tendency to name check Event Horizon (1997) and run off without explaining it - especially in regards to the episode “Ghosted” where they were in Canaan which uses a lot of the same techniques and tropes. But before I explain how Teen Wolf got there we have to explain Event Horizon.

A friend of mine once called Event Horizon the greatest horror movie almost made, and that sums it up nicely.

Following the success of Mortal Kombat [1995 starring Linden Ashby] the studio gave give the director Paul WS Anderson [the Resident Evil guy] a budget of 60 million dollars, the large soundstage at Pinewood and Carte Blanche to deliver an R rated horror. The film he delivered was 121 minutes long and X-rated. It was externally editted down to 91 minutes or 96 minutes depending on region and legend has it that most of the narrative exposition went out of the airlock. As gory as it is - and it IS - it was much much worse and it’s entirely possible that this studio inflicted hatchet job is the reason Event Horizon has the cult following that it does.

Anderson did not waste a dollar of the money he was given, everyone in the film is a noted character actor and most of the dialogue makes them feel real [with the exception of one distinct line which is just hilariously bad]. The ship was a set [there is minimal cg and it’s bad as you’d expect for 1997 but it’s things like a floating water bottle] based on actual gothic architecture specifically notre dame. The crew of the Lewis and Clark [the rescue ship] is seven people because they were meant to represent the seven sins - maybe in the longer version they did. The “stranger” in their midst is Doctor Weir, who following the suicide of his wife whilst he built the Event Horizon, became obsessed with the ship is the one who wants to bring it “home”. The shot of the rotating space station where Weir is based was a miniature. As most of the effects were practical, as opposed to CG, they stand up to modern scrutiny.

The film was a critical and commercial bust, but over the years since it’s release it’s been insanely influential on the field of Sci Fi being responsible for IPs such as Warhammer 40k, Deadspace and even the Alien franchise [which Anderson dipped his toe in with Alien vs Predator] and is considered one of the greatest Lovecraftian horrors ever made.

Event Horizon is not a great movie, it’s…. I’m one of the people who adore it, as scary movies go it never fails to make my skin crawl but let’s get into the plot.

The Event Horizon was an attempt at FTL travel, instead of going really fast it punched a hole through the universe creating a worm hole that would allow the ship to exit somewhere else with a device called “the gravity drive”. On its test flight it vanished. Seven years later it reappears where it should have with no crew and only a mild distress signal. Weir (Sam Neill), the original creator takes the crew of the Lewis and Clark, a rescue ship captained by Miller (Lawrence Fishburne), to bring it back.

On finding the ship the youngest member of the crew, Mr Justin (Jack Noseworthy), goes into the drive room in full EVA and is dragged into the black liquid at its heart. He is rescued by Cooper (Richard Jones), but when they confront Weir he denies it’s possible despite that they could not have known what to describe. Justin is comatose. They find a recording of screams which has a latin phrase which DJ (Jason Isaacs) translates as save me. The med tech Peters (Kathleen Quinlan) starts to see visions of her son covered in sores. Weir starts to see his dead wife as she was when he found her but with empty eye sockets. The ship starts to pull at their sanity damaging the Lewis and Clark, Smith (Sean Pertwee) refuses to leave the Lewis and Clark and in the middle of that Justin gets up and puts himself in the airlock, setting it to open.

All of the characters are shown to have a dark history but because of the editting we often don’t know what that is. We know Peters has left her terminally ill son because of her visions. Miller tells us about a crew member he had to leave to die in a burning ship. Weir has his guilt over his wife, but the rest was cut.

They find the ruins of the old crew with a tape showing them dismembering themselves and each other and it turns out the translation wasn’t save me but save yourself from hell. Fans have actually translated it more accurately as save yourself from the fire.

Miller comes to the conclusion the best thing to do is go home and blow the ship from orbit but Weir refuses to go. He takes one of the explosives from the nave hallway and blows up the Lewis and Clark and Smith, this sends Cooper into space [where he has the worst line in cinema, seriously https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUozFOlxVnM] and Miller and Starck [Joely Richardson] confront Weir on the bridge where he has ripped out his own eyes. DJ is found disembowelled over the medicine table. Distracted by Cooper’s return Weir fires a rivet gun at the ship’s window causing the decompression to suck him into space. Miller tries to use the explosives along the nave corridor to separate the ship from the gravity drive which he considers the source of his evil but he is separated from his crew by a burning man who turns into Weir. They fight, the corridor explodes and Miller is sucked into the black hole.

There is a gotcha ending where Starck sees one of their rescuers as Weir but wakes up screaming before the very ominous door closing.

So what happens? what is the one sentence synopsis?

See that’s where Event Horizon sort of wins. On its surface the ship went to hell and became alive and is now luring people in and trying to drag them into Hell. Except even within the movie that explanation doesn’t make sense. The characters talk about the lack of good air, that they are running out of air and it turns them on each other to an extent so did anoxia cause the hallucinations combined with the very gothic imagery to create a mass hysteria? Is it a pseudo Catholic vision of Hell where the characters unable to deal with their own guilt at ultimately tortured? Maybe? Was it all of the above? I don’t know. Other people have amazing explanations of what happened and here’s the reason why Event Horizon freaks some people out and others are meh, it’s not that easy.

It has holes and contradictions and huge chunks obviously missing. It has a narrow focus and it never lies to the audience, it misleads them by assumption but it’s consistent. Weir is the hook character we expect to be the hero, he is the outsider amidst the crew of the Lewis and Clark, he is the one with the answers and the refusal to see alternative answers. He has the most fleshed out back story but he turns into the human manifestation of whatever is going on with the ship yet he is the one who becomes the face of the villain. The ghost apparitions are genuinely disturbing. The quality of the acting could carry a much weaker script. The effects are excellent and the gore is astounding, and best shown briefly [although production stills are available if it was too quick for you]. The Lovecraftian questions are presented and NOT answered. They are isolated in a place where they are in constant danger and the hallucinations mean even their thoughts are unsafe.

Did the ship go to hell? Or was it an explanation Weir made up when he broke? Or is this a purgatorial nightmare where Weir is sent out to fetch more victims for the ship? Is he repeating this ad infinitum with this crew or is it a new crew every time? Is the she Weir speaks of the ship or the manifestation of his wife, Clare?

The film doesn’t answer any of these questions. They are all valid ways to see the movie. And based on Anderson’s filmography the reason that these all DO work is because the film was butchered like one of the ship’s crew.

Recently they found a copy of the uncut film in a salt mine in Transylvania so maybe we’ll see it.

But people who take it on surface value that the ship went to hell and is now evil wooo, generally just dismiss it as poor. It is clearly a mishmash of things Anderson thought was cool instead of deep, sets are so Alien inspired that the xenomorph could pop out of any of the lockers and no one would be surprised. The ship’s set is so gothic Dracula could be drinking tea in the med bay and it would make perfect sense. Yet it somehow, probably despite itself, works.

So back to Teen Wolf.

Event Horizon clearly had its shadows over the production and it’s in the ambiguity more than the cinematography [which owes its debts to Silent Hill]. What Event Horizon managed by accident [Anderson couldn’t have pulled it off deliberately] Teen Wolf tries.

Every character in Teen Wolf, no matter how minor, has a backstory but it is not one we are necessarily given. They have their own stories which intersect with the story we are being told. If we look at the chimera, for example, we saw Tracy’s complicated relationship with her father, we saw Lucas and his boyfriend, Corey, and Corey before we knew he was a chimera told us about Lucas. Caitlyn’s girlfriend Emily was taken by the Darach but she was nervous about her first time having sex so Caitlyn tried to make it special for her. This makes the characterisation rich and this one of the complaints about the show. We learn as much about someone who gets murdered five minutes later as we do about the show’s mains. Beacon Hills feels real because the people in it feel real.

Teen Wolf offers a surface answer which does not hold up to scrutiny - at all -ever and which is often ridiculous. @Sublimeglass refers to this as the show vs tell, Teen Wolf tells us one story and shows us quite another. Solutions to problems are often best guesses with the information that they have and are often contradicted seasons later as characters learn more.

The main character is presumed to be the hero but by the end is very clearly the agent of whatever it is that is going on that wants conflict - however defining that very clear presence in Teen Wolf is like getting rid of glitter, you know it’s there but you’re never going to get it out of the carpet.There is clearly an evil presence, and it is clearly in the water, specifically the lake beside Lydia’s lake house [which Lorraine set up a mountain ash barrier to protect her from] but the character’s don’t know it’s there. I am not saying that Scott is evil or villainous in this - that’s a very different meta - but instead that he is continuing the war that existed before him. He is recruiting a character like him to carry on the story. He is repeating the cycle like Weir sacrificing another crew to the ship.

One of the arguments with EH is that the ship is freeing them from “the fire” which is light and energy, which is complicated, basically that our universe with its physical reactions is Hell, and that by removing the flesh [I did mention Hellraiser was a huge influence, right, and the video game Doom 3] you could be “free”, and there is a similar idea in Teen Wolf where characters try to escape the detriments of flesh - Gerard looking for a cure for his cancer, the dread doctors extending their life, the attempts to build a better beast for their own immortality, the leonmensch trying to capture the Wild Hunt.

Yet if you reduce Event Horizon to “the ship went to hell and is now evil” the two do not match but both are phantasmagorical.

Phantasmagoria is where one or more reality might not be real but is instead a dream/hallucination that is indistinguishable from reality, and thus brings the “reality” in question.

In Event Horizon this is several dream sequences, Weir and Starck both have nightmares whilst in stasis. This means when Clare starts appearing to Weir and the child appears to Peters we are primed to know they are not real and this knowledge means we’re primed for a scare even when the subject is not scary, such as Peter’s visions of her sick son.

In Teen Wolf we have several sequences that are not “real”: Scott’s visions of the school bus attack; Stiles’ visions of the bandaged figure; Scott’s dreams of killing Liam with the mute. Then we have sequences where reality is much more loosely defined in Motel California - where the characters hallucinate - and Ghosted which is the most obvious point for the Event Horizon characters.

We also have flashbacks which are subject to the “Rashomon effect” where several variations of the same narrative are shown and the whole is unreliable [the Fox and the Wolf, Blitzkreig and Visionary] What we are shown in Teen Wolf is only slightly more reliable than what we are told, and the telling is from Scott’s point of view - although it is unclear if it is only the last episode, the last season half or the whole show which is narrated. Personally I think it’s the whole. Either way Scott is an unreliable narrator. We cannot trust the narrative as it is presented even if it didn’t openly contradict itself.

The Lovecraftian parallels have to be mentioned even if when it comes to writing Teen Wolf meta I find him popping up like a particularly obnoxious infestation. Combined with that is the heavy influence of Hellraiser [3 metas later I am quite confident that Hellraiser was involved] and the whole is unsettling if not disturbing or scary.

The visual language of Event Horizon is medieval gothic, with columns, long empty corridors, flourishes and twists and the ship itself is a cross based on Notre Dame. In Teen Wolf colours have meaning, characters have symbolic associations [although unlike the intent for Event Horizon they do not represent anything as overt as the seven sins. They reveal the characters but not general themes.] Each of the first five seasons has a symbol which is represented by Godai, Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Void [if six has one I haven’t cracked it yet but it is probably the ethereal or the other] and the cinematography is certainly as deliberate.

I can’t just end this meta because it’s one of those as soon as you see the movie you can see the parallels because they’re pretty much laid out on a plate but the two are so different that unless you sit down and think about it you’d never consider it.

I can’t say that Beacon Hills is a phantasmagorical town that exists outside space and is poisoned by its proximity to Hell - but I can’t say it’s not either because of the ambiguity and contradiction. I can’t say Weir is a victim driven mad by his own guilt or the ship possessed him because of the same contradictions.

Event Horizon managed what it did despite itself. Teen Wolf might have done the same.

#teen wolf meta #anti scott mccall #event horizon parallels

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badgersmash9-blog · 5 years

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Private Equity Expert Dr. Ashby Monk Repudiates CalPERS CEO Marcie Frost’s Private Equity Scheme During and Immediately After Presentation at CalPERS

CalPERS is having trouble getting anyone reputable to endorse its unorthodox, risky private equity scheme. the centerpiece of which is to create and fund two new large fund managers that would be completely unaccountable to CalPERS.

The idea should have died a long time ago, but CEO Marcie Frost is still desperate to get it done, despite staff members admitting in a November board meeting that CalPERS’ newfangled companies would have higher costs in the early years and would also generate lower returns than conventional private equity funds. This is tantamount to an admission that CalPERS board members, executives, and consultants would be violating their fiduciary duty to CalPERS if they were to let this plan go forward.

As we’ll show below, one of the experts that CalPERS has now had in twice, with the apparent aim of helping to persuade the board to approve this obviously bad idea, has taken the unusual step of publishing a long tweetstorm shortly after a presentation at CalPERS last week that makes clear that he is opposed to CalPERS’ plans. Mind you, Dr. Ashby Monk is too polite to say, “CalPERS needs its head examined,” but if you look at his forceful and clear recommendation, it is the polar opposite of Marcie Frost’s private equity plans.

Even though Dr. Monk has made clear his general position on private equity for a long time, it seems noteworthy that he felt compelled to give a one-stop-shopping version on Twitter later in the very same week that he spoke at CalPERS. Recall that this was the second time Dr. Monk has spoken to CalPERS board. We pointed out that CalPERS had snookered Dr. Monk the first time he presented:

CalPERS has even gone so far as to mislead its own cheerleaders. The pension fund invited Dr. Ashby Monk of Stanford to speak at a public board meeting in August, and Frost quotes Dr. Monk in her promotional article. Dr. Monk took a generally positive tone but pointed out that what CalPERS was planning to do was not direct investing, which means having CalPERS staff make private equity investments itself, but was forming its own general partners. Dr. Monk then described how some large investors had used “pick the pickers” methods to assure that the board was loyal to the organization that provided the money.

I spoke with Dr. Monk for a half-hour after his CalPERS presentation. He acknowledged in our conversation that CalPERS had not disclosed to him that the board of the new entity would be chosen by its management and CalPERS would have no say in the board’s selection. Thus he cannot be deemed to have approved what CalPERS is doing, since he was misinformed.

We pointed out in this same October post that CalPERS has featured Dr. Monk prominently in a brochure to CalPERS beneficiaries as if he were supportive of CalPERS’ plans. Reader Brooklyn Bridge pointed out that even with CalPERS’ cherry-picking, Dr. Monk’s support had actually been so heavily qualified as to be empty:

“But as Dr. Monk said, “I’m encouraged that if you can get the governance right, if you can evolve this into a platform that can recruit the right talent, you can succeed.”

Even as a total know nothing, I would see pure bunk in this line alone (never mind, “We’ve listened to our Stakeholders”… and they want dumb, dumber and dumbest). It might as well read, “I’m encouraged that if you succeed, and succeed well, you are well on your way to success!”

The title should be, “Taking aim. Exploring a new Private Equity Mark“

Below is Dr. Monk laying out his recommended private equity to public pension funds…and this recommendation is the polar opposite of what CalPERS has been trying to get its board to approve. It’s unlikely to be a coincidence that he posted this tweetstorm within days of visiting CalPERS:

This is a recommendation to bring private equity in house, period. As we have said repeatedly, that is the polar opposite to what CalPERS is trying to do, CalPeRS wants to create new investment vehicles which will be even riskier and less accountable than inventing through private equity fund managers.

Dr. Monk also points out that if your are serious about ESG (emphasizing environmental, social, and governance investing), you need to run your private equity investing in-house. Recall that CalSTRS had a long and uphill to get fund manager Cerberus to sell its stake in a firearms maker. That’s only one holding. Consider this part of a clearly unhappy 2015 press release:

Although Cerberus committed to sell its holdings in Remington Outdoor, thus far that pledge has not been fulfilled. As we continue to push them on this front, we have also worked to exercise patience and give them time to execute what is a complicated transaction.

But we understand the patience of our membership wears thin. Unfortunately, as a limited partner in a private equity investment pool controlled by Cerberus, CalSTRS has very limited rights. Contractual obligations and legal constraints severely limit our options to exit this investment.

More importantly, we cannot take unilateral action, in this case, to remove a specific company from an investment pool. Nor can we expose the fund by prematurely or imprudently selling about $375 million worth of holdings at a loss without thoroughly exhausting all other options first. While we cannot share the details, we want to make it clear that all potential options are being fully considered and have been for some time.

Even though we don’t have the same level of enthusiasm for ESG investing that CalPERS does, the point is that CalPERS pretends to be serious about it, and it can’t be if it is investing through third-party managers. It can only have very limited firm prohibitions; otherwise, it constrains the investment universe and becomes an unattractive funds source.1

Dr. Monk’s tweetstorm came after he repudiated another central element of CalPERS’ scheme, that of its lack of transparency. Recall that CalPERS now provides limited information about all of its private equity investments every quarter, such at the commitment amount, the total funds invested, and the returns, expressed as IRR and investment multiple. That disclosure came about as the result of a settlement with the Mercury News in 2002. Many other public pension funds now provide similar fund-by-fund information. One of the important aims of Marcie Frost’s private equity plans are to end this and other disclosures.

Recall that at last December’s board meeting, General Counsel Matt Jacobs stated that the purpose of the new private equity scheme was secrecy (see 3:36:58):

Board Member Margaret Brown: Mr. Cole, you know that this Board has a fiduciary responsibility to 1.9 million members and thousands of employers. And so with that in mind, I wanted to let you know that I have a lot of concerns that we are putting this program together, I think, in part to avoid transparency, Bagley-Keene, the 700s, and the Public Records Act request.

And so what I’m wondering is since CalPERS is drafting the agreements we could, in fact, make them — at least due to a Public Records Act we request, we could, in fact, require that of our partners in these companies could we not, since we’re drafting that agreement? Oh, good. Mr. Jacobs, we’ll have him come up and answer.

Investment Director John Cole: That’s a legal question.

Board Member Brown: Yeah.

Investment Director Cole: I don’t want to get out of my lane

General Counsel Matt Jacobs: Well, at a high level, I suppose we could. I think that would defeat the entire purpose of the endeavor that the Investment Office is undertaking, which is that these are private investments, and they’re private for a reason, which is that the — the financial information needs to be private. And the people running them have these types of preferences.

A little more than a month later, at the board’s offsite meeting on January 22, one of the private equity experts invited to speak, Dr. Ashby Monk, blew up the CalPERS’ claim that secrecy is necessary and desirable at 1:31:10: “I’ll offer some bit of extreme views. I think there is no balance. 100% should have ESG and transparency.”

And CalPERS has also used as a defense that private equity funds don’t like transparency. Mind you, we’ve had the limited partnership agreements of many of the biggest fund managers posted on our site for years and none of them appear to have suffered as a result of these supposed trade secrets getting out in the wild.

One of the amusing spectacles at the offsite was Jonathan Coslet of TPG trying to pretend that the over-the-top secrecy requirements for private equity limited partnership agreements was somehow the doing of investors and TPG was perfectly fine with everything being out in the open. Starting at 1:06:30:

Board Member Margaret Brown:: As you may know, we have been having open discussions about the secrecy of private equity agreements. And I understand that the Pennsylvania state legislature has recommended substantial narrowing of the laws that exempt from FOIA the entire contracts between private equity funds and investors like public pension funds. I am curious in TPG’s case investors or TPG was harmed by the release of what I understand was one of your agreements by the Pennsylvania state Treasurer. Just wondering. Several years ago that happened, it was out in the public domain and I’m just wondering if there was any harm to investors or to TPG when that happened.

TPG Chief Investment Officer Jonathan Coslet: I can’t really comment specifically, but my sense is that our perspective would be that we want to respect the confidentiality that you would like and if you our clients would like confidentiality, confidentiality with what is essentially a private contract, we would like to respect that. Different organizations have different feelings about that. We have sovereign wealth funds, insurance companies, endowments, pension funds, individuals. So we just want to respect the confidentiality our clients would like.

As Dr. Monk said to an audience member later, this claim was completely false. Private equity fund managers have fought fiercely to keep their limited partnership agreements secret, absurdly claiming the entire agreement to be a trade secret. This systematic shielding of these agreements started, ironically, in the wake of the 2002 Mercury News settlement with CalPERS that we mentioned earlier. Private equity firms went to every state and got either legislation or state attorney general opinions shielding private equity agreements in full from disclosure. Even now, these alternative investment agreements are the only contracts that state and city governments enter into that are secret.

We gave a long-form debunking of the idea that anything in private equity agreements could be considered a trade secret in 2014, when we published a set of private equity agreements that the Pennsylvania Treasurer had on its website with no password protection. That includes the TPG contract that Margaret Brown mentioned. A key section of that post:

For decades, private equity (PE) firms have asserted that limited partnership agreements (LPAs), the contracts between themselves and investors, should be treated in their entirety as trade secrets, and therefore not subject to disclosure under Freedom of Information Act laws in any jurisdiction. These private equity general partners argued that the information in their contracts was so sensitive that it needed to be shielded from competitors’ eyes, otherwise their unique, critically important know-how would be appropriated and used against them. In particular, PE firms have made frequent, forceful claims that their limited partnership agreements provide valuable insight into their investment strategies. The industry took the position that these documents were as valuable to them as the formula for Coca-Cola or the schematics for Intel’s next microprocessor chip.

You can see why Dr. Monk was unable to contain himself when Coslet served up such nonsense with a straight face. But the flip side is that this revisionist history is the new party line in private equity, that the general partners know they don’t have a leg to stand on in trying to continue the pretense that they have a legitimate business need for their secrecy regime. It may be that general partners recognize that the Pennsylvania disclosure recommendations have breached the levee, and there’s no standing against the wave of changes that will follow.2

So if CalPERS can’t even get supposedly supportive experts to back its plan, pray tell how can its board go forward without putting a huge “Sue me” target on their backs? I bet Bill Lerach is quietly hoping they don’t figure that one out.

______

1 As much as we applaud some of what Dr. Monk says, we also have to note that he goes to considerable lengths to cater to the needs of investors that are his prospective clients, unlike academics who focus on private equity like Oxford’s Ludovic Phalippou, or Eileen Appelbaum and Rosemary Batt.

Specifically, Dr. Monk notably sidesteps the real reason for bringing private equity in house. It isn’t that public pensions funds all over America have suddenly become camp followers of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and have decided to get out of the billionaire-creation business. No, it is that private equity net returns are falling and investing via private equity funds no longer earning enough on a risk-adjusted basis to justify investing in the strategy. It’s truly disturbing to see Dr. Monk effectively support the public pensions funds’ “absolute return” fallacy, when no intellectually honest finance professional would indulge it. The only way to have private equity deliver adequate net returns is to considerably reduce the fees and costs of private equity investing by doing it in house. And those charges are so ginormous that doing it yourself, even though it will take time to get there, ought to be seen as a no-brainer.

It is also bogus to depict equities of any sort a long-term investments that better fit the long-term liabilities of pension funds. In the hoary days of my childhood, equities were recognized as highly speculative. Bonds were the preferred investments for pension funds because bonds, with their fixed payments of interest and principal, could be laddered to meet the projected liabilities of pension funds.

The reason for higher equity allocations has nada to do with them not having fixed maturities. Equities were added because they have higher returns and provide diversification by asset class, which before risky assets became so highly correlated, also offered some additional downside protection.

Moreover, had Dr. Monk familiarized himself with public markets investing, he would know that one of the reasons academic studies back index investing is that the rebalancing to replicate the index forces selling of winners, as in realization of gains. Similarly, the reason private equity as currently practiced has provided high returns is the discipline of requiring realization of profit. While there are cases where PE funds buy a “growth-y” company and wind up selling it to another private equity fund who is also able to get good returns (meaning the sale from one fund to the second just resulted in paying extra transaction fees, if you look at total returns from owning that company), CalPERS has effectively admitted that this isn’t a widespread phenomenon, and that longer holding periods = lower returns. Why engage in this long-dated fund fad at all if it undermines the whole rationale for private equity, higher returns?

2 Key section from the executive summary:

This entry was posted in CalPERS, Dubious statistics, Investment management, Private equity on January 28, 2019 by Yves Smith.

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Source: https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2019/01/private-equity-expert-dr-ashby-monk-repudiates-calpers-ceo-marcie-frosts-private-equity-scheme-immediately-presentation-calpers.html

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nafutsal · 5 years

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Summer Futsal Registration Opened; Kickoff Meeting

Team Captains, Coaches, Managers Meeting 7:30-8:00 PM at Richard Showers Recreation Center today, 4/16/2019 (Tue).

Coaches/Managers Q&A/Registration Event 6:30-7:30 PM in the pavilion between Merrimack fields 1 & 2, 4/18/2019 (Thu).

This summer will be the 6th summer season of the North Alabama FUTSAL League and adds a NEW preseason 4v4 futsal tournament called The Mighty FoursSM along with the same great season of games for adult teams and fun academies for youth players:

· “The Mighty Fours” Futsal Tournament at James Clemens High School on Memorial Day Weekend (Saturday & Sunday)

· Youth Futsal Academies (separate middle school and high school age player sessions) at Optimist Recreation Center

· Adult Open Division teams playing a series of games and competing for division titles at Oakwood University at $100s LESS THAN PLAYING AT D1

· Possibly an Adult Women’s Division “sampler” season at a much reduced price

All will play once per week usually.

You may be in the middle of spring soccer season, but you CANNOT wait until it’s over to start thinking about the summer futsal season. Registration to play in the North Alabama FUTSAL League opened today and ends May 19th. Summer season games begin May 29th and continue through June and July. More specifically:

The Mighty FoursSM 4v4 Futsal Tournament for youth and adults

· Saturday & Sunday, May 25 & 26, at James Clemens High School in Madison

· All teams play 3 to 5 games each

· Limited Participation: Only 2 or 3 divisions of four teams each supported

· Big trophies and medals awarded.

· See flyer. See Team Registration for Tournaments under Registration on www.nafutsal.com.

YOUTH ACADEMIES 11–14 years old (Middle School) and 15–18 years old (High School)

· Begin: June 6th (Thu) and continue for six Thursdays, except July 4th

· Times: 5:30 – 7:00 PM for middle schoolers; 7:00 – 8:30 PM for high schoolers

· Location: Optimist Recreation Center, 703 Oakwood Ave, Huntsville, AL 35811 – conveniently one block off of I-565, Exit 20

· Last day: July 18th

· Note: This activity is FREE!!! because this is a Huntsville Parks & Recreation activity with help from NAFL.

· See flyer. See Youth Academy Registration under Registration on www.nafutsal.com.

ADULT TEAMS

· Begin: May 29th (Wed) and continue on Wednesdays in June and July

· Kickoffs: 6:30, 7:40 and 8:50 PM

· Location: Oakwood University, Ashby Auditorium

· Divisions: Champions Division, Division I and possibly a Women’s Division

· Awards: Division Winners, Golden Boot and Golden Glove

· Door Prizes: Giveaways return this summer, for spectators mostly

· See flyer. See Team Registration for Seasons under Registration on www.nafutsal.com.

IMPORTANT DATES

Apr 15 (Mon) – Summer Futsal Season Registration Opened

Apr 16 (Tue) – Youth Team Coaches/Managers & Adult Team Captains Meeting at Richard Showers Recreation Center, 7:30 PM

Apr 28 (Sun) – Last Day for Early Bird Discounts (adult teams, 20% discount on team fee)

May 19 (Sun) – DEADLINE for Adult Team Registration

May 25/26 (Sat/Sun) – The Mighty FoursSM Futsal Tournament

May 29 (Wed) – START OF ADULT SEASON

June 6 (Thu) – START OF YOUTH ACADEMIES

See Calendar and Registration pages on www.nafutsal.com for full and most current details.

#futsal nafutsal youthfutsal adultfutsal womensfutsal summerfutsal futsaltournament pickupfutsal futsalacademy

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thetrumpdebacle · 6 years

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