#with our mental and physical well-being
Text
so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon
(which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( )
AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
Payment for surrogacy gets really complicated because on one hand paying for it means most surrogates will end up being lower class women who need the money and will be easier to exploit, something which is rife in the current implementation of surrogacy, but on the other hand being pregnant is genuinely like body horror to me and I think that if you go through that for someone else you should get a billion dollars.
#surrogacy#this is a joke post but also like... no i'm being serious#i understand why paying for something potentially dangerous is immoral#on the other hand... this undermining of consent is the basis our entire capitalistic system lives on#to force people into exhausting cruel undepraying and yes dangerous jobs#so why is it that only for something like childbirth are we like noooo they cant be financially compensated for this incredibly hard thing#like why is ONLY this thing bad why isn't it just as bad if that same woman who would've become a surrogate has to work in a sweatshop#i think it's also got to do with our mythologizing around pregnancy as this wonderful beauty of nature thing#we are capable of recognizing the body horror when it's unwanted (well. some of us.)#but pregnancy doesn't stop being incredibly physically and mentally taxing just because the baby is wanted#so we see being paid for it as this corruption of the 'natural' 'good' pregnancy and therefore obviously worse. which. i am not a fan of
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.
also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever
(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )
#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it#but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind#its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because#[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack#'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink#and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally#i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real#for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however#that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
sharpe interesting to me for reasons that I can't even tell are actually in the show or not... it is partially that I got introduced to the land parts of the various napoleonic goings-on in a sort of Archaeological context to start out with, so when I'm watching these guys cross back and forth across spain, losing items and burying friends and enemies as they go, I do keep thinking of hundreds of years in the future and where those things will be. lost shako badges and stray bullets will turn up eventually. wooden grave markers will rot. names will be forgotten and skeletons will remain, buried on a hilltop and maybe someday found. time passes and the dusty weight of history is a very present thing.
#em is posting about sharpe#or it is to me! pointing and shouting pepe silvia style to ask if anyone else is seeing this!!#most historical fiction does not do this to me but sharpe does for some reason#maybe it's that most war fiction I like is maritime and here we're standing our way through funeral after funeral and death after death#and they put them in the ground! and I know a little bit more about how the ground keeps someone than how the sea doesn't!#this is also about the antoine faveau cuirass and that in mental comparison to h&h at waterloo#this is a show that devotes a significant amount of time to what you do with your dead (in my personal opinion anyway!)#and h&h do not and will not get that. and I make sad little whimpery noises and possibly some sad art about it.#all the revenge in the world doesn't let you get them back! and the likelihood of there being time to sort through and set them aside is#not really a lot at all!#and it all doesn't mean much and the world doesn't remember them and no one knows their names or what they did#augh. I haven't been this soupy over The Historical Fiction In Its Haunting of an Imagined Present since the terror#well that's enough speech-making in blueberry park for tonight I think. back to the old physical therapy lurk.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's a lot that can be analysed in The Outlaws Scarlett & Browne about eugenics, actually
#and the treatment of the Other as well#not done the book yet so i don't know what the tainted actually ARE or how they came to be but on the human front#the idea of anyone having physical or mental disabilities or 'imperfections' (and those with speech impediments etc)#being not only cast out of society but also more likely to be hunted down and killed is horrifying. like. this is a society. this is a post#apocalyptic futuristic britain where it is so TERRIFYING to live in the 'civilised areas' BECAUSE they literally get rid of anything#and anyone that looks or acts or is in some way shape or form different#this is very interesting worldbuilding because it all stems from fear of the supernatural(?) beasts that the humans are afraid of#and the fear of anything that isn't 'perfectly' human#idk if jonathan stroud is trying to say something particular in this area but it strikes me as a rather interesting story to tell in our ti#time#the people who are different and 'less' human (i.e. albert and ettie) are shown to be just as precious and nuanced and worthy of love#as the townspeople#on that note the idea that joe is trying to protect his toddler granddaughter because when the townspeople#find out she's mute they'll come after this child is deeply deeply disturbing and i'm glad that stroud really isn't#afraid to show his young readers the depth of how disturbing this kind of thinking is#reading adventures
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
hands and knees begging myself to be responsible tonight bc i have so much to do but i can feel in my heart irresponsible brain is going to win and im gonna end up drawing and making myself more behind and stressed but like i spent 8 hours researching and writing art history texts at my internship do i fucking want to research for my history class tonight even tho i should so i can let the professor know if my topic is viable? no i want to draw. and like even research aside i need to do dishes and laundry and pack
#which frustratingly the relevant articles are from a journal our school doesn't subscribe to and like i could just ask her to change my topi#but like if i wait until after thanksgiving that is pushing it too close UGH#i hate school#i hate how busy i am right now ugh i was on the phone with my dad and he was like you sound really unhappy and i was like well thing is i#am and like i just have to slog through the rest of this semester but it is a hard slog#call my schedule oatmeal the way its fucking GRUELING#they werent lying that 25hrs a week internship but 1hr walking there and back 5 days a week (so 30 hours time) is a fucking LOT on top of#classes and teaching like im physically sore im tired and burnt out im behind on grading#i love the work im doing at the internship and i love teaching it is just challenging to balance both#and like i knew grad school would be hard and I knew this semester would be hard and i can get through it and i will get through it#i dont even like complaining about it bc like i signed up for this knowingly and i knew what i was committing to and the internship is so s#so helpful for me career wise and i really enjoy it and like my classes are also important career wise#im just constantly treading water but im drowning a little#every like mental health problem i have is being exacerbated#i feel like i have two parts of my brain like rational logical brain that knows what i need to do to get the tasks done and then wild#impulsive fun brain that just wants to goof off and that part of my brain has the steering wheel most of the time and i have to wrestle it#away to get work done anytime im not like in an office#which like yes that is a metaphorical way to describe executive dysfunction but i have not had time to try to get any diagnoses even tho#we've been suspicious for 6 years now
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
(guy ignoring all of his problems voice) holy shit. im so mentally healthy
#going through a mental health class and being like NOT ME‼️. while still knowing my problems will catch up#with my body eventually and i will eventually have to Think about hard things and Experience emotions that i like to put in a nice little#corner of my mind#but for now? NOT ME‼️#im so mentally well and thats why my brain doesnt like to think about anything painful Ever 💪💪#they call me the memory man. becaus e i dont#i also just dont like how theres a self aware side of me cause it doesnt do shit . brother i am incapable of getting help right now#have you seen our parents. talking about anything emotional in the real life is also physically the worst feeling ever#and i dont have anyone i feel comfortable around. yes im fine i just need to move out. circling that image in my hesd rn#negative#<- like halfway there.#talking.txt#they should put me under a microscope i think it would fix me.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
😒
#myevilposts#sighing so loud.#g-d i'm so pissed off. i hate misandrists soooo much i especially hate when they deny that that's what they are.#or act like they are somehow valid bc one (1) man was abusive towards them.#like honey my mom was both physically and mentally abusive to me and i don't hate women. it's very easy to not be a dick actually.#once again. what they should actually be angry about is the systemic issue of the patriarchy or their single abusive man.#not men as a whole. like it's so easy.#it's actually so easy to just hate shitty men and not men as a whole. btw.#also i can't believe people think my struggles to be included in discussions about pregnancy due to uninclusive language#(which is very very much a trans issue.) isn't real just because i'm a man.#honey. i have a womb. i can in theory get pregnant. i don't want to be misgendered and excluded from a conversation#that literally fucking applies to me and is important to my physical and mental health and well being. just because i'm a man.#i am being oppressed in this situation. that is what transandrophobia is.#like is the fact that people are calling pregnancy and abortion 'women's issues' and i'm like 'hey. those things apply to me#and i'm a trans man. please use inclusive language that doesn't misgender and/or exclude me.' and people are#like 'ugh shut up you're literally a man. you should deal with being excluded from this conversation.#that literally fucking applies to you and being misgendered by our language.' actually like progressive?#like do you think it's progressive to say that me getting misgendered and excluded from a conversation due to#cisnormativity is fine. because oh i'm a man. men aren't ever treated like shit ever.#when i am quite literally being shat on for being a man in this situation. despite it literally including me.#transphobia tw#like don't you all literally see that what you're saying is that misgendering is ok just because i'm a man?#and that my having to deal with pregnancy and abortion is invalid? just because i'm a man. and acting like that's a progressive thing#to say??? like literally stoppp. you are literally telling me. who is trans. and being oppressed bc i am trans.#that the transphobia that is specifically targeting me. bc i am trans. isn't real. bc i am a trans MAN specifically.#and like yes. i experience transandrophobia in real life. it is not just an 'online' issue bc no form of transphobia is.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i would like to go deep, deep, deep into the forest and then never come back.
#yet another post about how tired i am of my family relying on me for physical/emotional support and up-keep of our home#i feel like that's all i bitch about nowadays. i feel like this is all my life's gonna be about 24/7 until i lose my mind.#i don't want to be babied but.. i just wish someone would see i'm not doing well mentally and offer some physical comfort.#i will Kill for a good comforting hug rn. someone to pet my hair and hold me while i cry#i can't ask mema of that. she's going through so much. she lost her husband and is losing her siblings to age and cancer.#and mom is.. mom. too wrapped up in going to work for a week straight and then ignoring the household unless she needs me.#she doesn't care about me. it hurts still.. but i've kind of accepted that.#but i still have to care. i have to care about their well-being. i have to listen to their woes and take care of their problems.#mema isn't an issue though.. our bond is healthy. i'm mostly just bitching about mom.#i'm her therapist. i'm her mother. i'm her maid. i'm raising her son. i'm taking care of her pet. i'm making sure she doesn't kill herself#while working because she pushes herself too hard.#i just. can someone take care of me? aside from myself?#it's been getting so hard...
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
none of this matters at all actually.
#nothing fucking matters none of it fucking matters.#okay. so we're going camping. bad. we're going with the church. also bad. we're going with our homophobic awful guilt trippy uncle. shit.#we're going to the beach which will be sticky and sandy and fucking awful. like bullshit. we have to go for like 4 days which is excessive.#we're gonna have to stay out there. cook and clean and babysit all the children like young ladies are supposed to do. which is hell.#this is on top of every other fucking problem we have. the academic the social the mental physical and emotional.#AND. FINALLY. /FINALLY./ THE CHERRY ON TOP. THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE. ITS GOING TO RAIN. FOR THE WHOLE. DAMN. TRIP.#IS. WHAT CAN I EVEN. WHY ARE WE! THIS ISN'T FUCKING. WE'RE NOT. JESUS FUCK IS IT LOUD IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#IT DOESN'T MATTER NONE OF THIS FUCKING MATTERS WE HAVE TO GO ANYWAY THERE'S NO GETTING OUT OF THIS WE'RE IN HELL THIS WORLD IS HELL.#AND NOTHING /FUCKING MATTERS./#...#okay heyyy taking over~!! ^^#god who am i even mimicking here lmao? :0 well i guess like we've been saying it doesn't matter~!! hfjgjh..#lmao anyway hey this does not Sound Great but we're good we're just being a defeatist about this don't stress about us.#that one nihilism acceptance meme. nothing in life matters 😎👍#all our problems are so fucking insignificant really!! what does it matter! we'll have to keep going anyway!! oath says we have to!! so!!#/blender/...#WHAT does it matter! who cares! can't stop the inevitable so might as well go with it! hell world in t minus 1 day let's rock n roll baby!#here i'll take over for maestro too. ahem:#🍂#🏹#💥#👥#<- thats me baby. okay obligation voice Let's go eat dinner.
1 note
·
View note
Text
broke person life hack win! convinced my grandma to buy me a bookshelf for my birthday so that I don’t have to spend the money myself!
#shhh sharkie#she texted me to send me a gift card but then was so insistent on sending me a physical thing as well#and i’ve been putting off buying a bookshelf cause a) broke af and b) don’t have a car to transport one from a physical store#i made it work with the ikea thing but that’s all in all a lot of money to burn and i wouldn’t be able to afford doing that for a while#but all my books are just in this sad pyramid on the floor and i want them on my shelves dammit#and she asked! and i was like fuck it. you know what I really need that I can’t afford right now? a nice bookshelf.#I know she and my grandpa have plenty of money to spend and spending it on their grandkids is their favorite thing to do#fuck it. yeah nonna can you buy me a nice bookshelf for my new-ish apartment?#it will be arriving next week!#especially since I didn’t get any cards or gifts from my immediate family.#birthdays are always very depressing for me but it hurt a lot this year that i’m like finally in the best mental place i’ve been in a while#and i’m trying so much harder to keep connections with my family and friends and mostly succeeding!!!!!#but my parents didn’t even send me a card.#which they do every year. i know cause I keep them. i have a special folder and everything.#i think i’ve just fucked up our relationship to the point I can’t fix it and it makes me sad and so mad at myself.#they fucked it up first but if it was important to me i should have tried harder to fix it.#and even if it’s like. they did send something but i have a mail/package thief so i don’t know that they sent anything.#they’re going to assume me not texting them a thank you is me being ungrateful and bad at communicating#not that something didn’t get delivered#so I won’t know until I see them in person next and that would only be if they brought it up#AND if they bring it up it’s going to be in disappointment and anger yknow?#so anyway tldr if Nonna is willing to buy me a nice bookshelf for my birthday because i’m broke and asked nicely i’ll fucking take it#she’s the only one who asked if I wanted something for my birthday#and i’m trying to be better about accepting the help i’m offered#and asking for help with bigger and inconvenient things#thanks Nonna can’t wait for the shelves
1 note
·
View note
Text
tall people will be the first to tell you that height isn’t what’s important but I really prefer these panels’ take because they’re, by far, the more honest (and realistic) one
#tall people will joke about how angry short people are of their height and it’s like well yeah you wouldn’t understand it#especially in things like (certain) sports where they’ll just as quickly and thoughtlessly point out someone being shorter than average#and that ‘short person’ is still 6 whole feet tall#though I guess I’m in the minority here as a short person who enjoys sports#Not in watching them (unless it’s the Olympics) but in being physically active myself#Again I was in the minority of not hating pe or mile day in high school#I only ever hated pe because I was a loner and the teacher would always tell us to break off into groups and do things on our own basically#And again I did try out for our volleyball team despite not thinking I would make it precisely because of my height#And it was the most grueling workout I’d ever done but I didn’t hate it because I was still praying to somehow make the team#Despite those deep knowing fears of how i probably would (and did) turn out to not make the cut#I know I only started exercising regularly again a month ago after so many years#But that’s because of fear of history with eating disorder and also having fuckass depression#and fuck knows what other undiagnosed mental illnesses I’ve been terrible at dealing with
1 note
·
View note
Text
We KNOW I’m on break from college cause ya bish is reading for fun again!!!!! (Atm: The Martian by Andy Weir— VERY GOOD!!!)
#yay!!!#I knew it’d be good but OUGH ITS SO GOOD#and then I have lots of stuff on hold heuhuehue#and lots of huge fanfics in my Read Later on ao3#and Baldurs gate to play…#gotta keep the boredom at bay when I get boobie reduction surgery in OUGGGGG MONDAYYYYYY#(I am not mentally prepared and I have to be ok with that)#mypost#also…. I technically don’t have a summer job for realsies it feels…#like I occasionally help this one person clean our houses (pays super well yay)#and technically have some hours at my industrial arts job… but they’re on the verge of bankruptcy (like not being able to get everyone’s#paychecks out sorta moment)#but I can’t do heavy lifting/strenuous exercise for 6 weeks after surgery (that’s the whole house-cleaning job ngl)#(cause by house-cleaning I mean like complete clean from organize-to-recycle/landfill for like dead or overwhelmed ppl)#and uhhhh aforementioned brink of bankruptcy meaning that job isn’t realizable#*reliable#and I can’t go back to the café cause hand eczema ;((((#and no online work (until summer bio course in July)#and few friends back in town….#but lots of stressful small/big things to do (visa and physical therapy for multiple things and argh Ough etc etc etc)#and switching the game on mi mamma bc she can’t really support me af the moment and I really gotta be the one kinda supporting her#but all that’s complaining!!!#it’ll be ok!!#and then I’m going to Thailand in the fall!!!!#and hopefully will follow thru on my Coursera writing course cause gd bitch do I need to relearn basic grammar T-T
0 notes
Text
🥲
#an update no one asked for but:#currently not in the best place possibly mentally and physically at my worst#so our season just started going on 2 weeks alr which in itself… whew it drains me i’m drained#being around high schoolers and having to put my coaching cap on is Hard#also exactly a week ago i was in the ER absolutely dying of pain from a kidney stone .#still currently dealing w that btw ….then two days ago woke up my throat feeling funky and later on that day my eyes and head just hurting#🙂🙂 and later that night while asleep woke up sweating from head to toe and just body on fire..#i was scared of taking even advil bc i was alr on so much meds so i just toughed it out and yea.. horrible night#then the next day aka yesterday i was still feeling horrible once i woke up but i think i finished sweating it off once it got time for me#to head to the pool for practice#now this morning i woke up and my throat felt not great still but now it’s developing into a nice cough🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂#so all this is just rly…. sending me and keeping me just LOW….#anyway… hope everyone is doing well truly bc /: also it only being a week since i’ve started feeling this week sounds… crazy like o feel#i’ve been suffering for longer…….#p
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
