#with midas i'm trying to explore dysphoria beyond just the body
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i think it's fun to sprinkle a little personal issue into a dnd character, exaggerate it to make it that much easier to dissect
#dnd#it's been fun with my newest guy midas. cause they're probably the dnd character most different from me? that i've ever played#and the first long-term one who isn't a total sweetheart lol#with midas i'm trying to explore dysphoria beyond just the body#dysphoria with. feeling like who you are is intrinsically unlovable. feeling like you have to be something else to get it#it's really interesting.#my first pc. octo. a big part of his character was being an eldest sibling#who saw that trait as something essential to himself.#and also i made Octo someone who fears death in a way that lends itself to self-destruction in search of a solution#i was messy with octo. his story was about loss of voice. about tying yourself to someone too tightly. about digging your own grave#venna is still probably my favourite dnd character i've ever played. with her i was exploring innocence and the desire to do good#kindness in a world that was unkind. kindness in a Body that was unkind. being soft when you're built for violence#how everyone being deserving of life means you too#another one. west. i wish i cld have got to play them more. but that was about#losing ability as someone who prides themself on physical prowess.#not letting others see you hurting. running away from comfort.#essaie. trying to deal with a problem by yourself instead of asking for help.#and i gave him a guilt. knowing that something was your fault even if there's no evidence for it.#all of these traits and more exist within me but most of them are much smaller than they are in these characters#which is why i think it can be really nice to pull them out and explore them like this#ttrpgs are so special man
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