#wish i was still living in a van but too hot and now im tied to school | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nsfw-bnha-and-dangan · 5 years ago

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Commission!

Hello everyone! Im back with another commission, this time its the final piece of the Gonta/reader/Hoshi Yakuza series! Ive had so much fun working on this series and i hope you all enjoy it as well! Its going under the cut for length!

Warnings: Torture, near death experiences, angst, general dark Yakuza concepts, but this time with a happy end!

In this moment, Hoshi wished he were dead.

Death would have been easier than facing the reality in front of him. Death would be preferable to what was going to happen in the next few moments. He had one job. One job given to him in order to keep you and Gonta safe, and he’d fucked it up royally. He hadn't expected such high security, hadn't noticed a carefully hidden camera, and it had been only a second or two after he stepped into the main room of the building that he had been taken down.

His arm felt broken, having snapped when it was forced behind his back as he was searched for weapons. Someone had taken his phone, had looked at the contacts and the texts that made it obvious who he was working for. They whispered as if he wasn't there, tying his arms back before trying to decide what to do with him. Hoshi watched as the seconds ticked by on a broken clock, watching as his final check-in time came and passed. If he didn't call now, they’d know he screwed up, would assume he was dead, and come finish the job themselves.

Silently, he begged the universe to let this end, let them kill him, quick and dirty, so that he didn't have to face the consequences. But, when his request was ignored, he thought for a moment. About what this meant for you and Gonta. It wasn't just him who was going to be hurt by this, you and Gonta… there wasn't much hope for the two of you. With him soon to be dead, one way or another, you would be left to the mercy of the Yakuza as their playthings, toys that would be smashed and broken before you knew it.

Hoshi struggled in his bonds, trying to get his arms free in some vain hope that he could fix this. He was tied up tightly, though, and there was no chance of getting free, not in his weakened state. Hoshi was forced to watch as the men he was supposed to kill chatted about him as if he wasn't even there, everyone in the room jumping as the sound of steel-toed boots kicking down the door echoed off the walls. Hoshi squeezed his shut, not wanting to see the lethal chaos right in front of him, his breathing labored as blood sprayed his face from some poor soul.

“You fucker, think you can just tap your heels and go somewhere else?” Someone spat, grabbing Hoshi by the chin and forcing him to look up.

“I can't fucking believe your alive right now, figured they’d shoot you on sight, weak motherfuckers. Bet you wish they had, too, now that we’re bringing you back to the boss. Better start praying for your little friends, even if I don't know what he's going to do with them.”

Hoshi swallowed thickly as he was dragged to his feet and forced to walk out the door, unceremoniously shoved into the back of a van. They didn't bother untying him, slamming the doors and leaving him in relative darkness as they drove. He didn't say a word, fear gripping his throat until it was hard to breathe.

He didn't give a damn what they did to him, beat him, break him, kill him, it didn't matter.

But you and Gonta… he had to do whatever he could to keep you safe. Although, he was already doing a pretty shitty job of that. Hoshi just closed his eyes and waited for the van to stop, bracing himself as the door was opened and he was yanked out, his injured arm shooting pain through his body. Hoshi just bit his lip and let himself be led inside the warehouse, knowing that now was not the time for fighting. He was taken through hallway after hallway, each one dirtier and darker than the last. Finally, he was pushed into a room, landing roughly on his knees and groaning.

“Well, well, well… If it isn't my fucking lapdog.” Hoshi looked up, seeing the man he had cursed with every breath for the last three months, the man he had wished every horrible death he had ever thought of upon.

“Not talking? That's fine, I have plenty to say to you.” The man stood up from his chair and cracked his knuckles loudly.

“I should fucking put you down, shoot you and get it over with. You had one fucking job, one chance to be the little hero my prisoners see you as. And you fucked. It. Up.” He spat in Hoshi’s face, landing a right hook that had Hoshi toppling onto the stone floor.

“One fucking job! You can't even fail a mission properly, getting your ass captured instead of killed! It doesn't matter, really, who kills you at this point. As long as it gets done. I'm finished with you, you worthless fucking piece of shit.” The man pulled a gun from his pocket and pressed the barrel to Hoshi’s temple, digging it in as he leaned closer.

“We don't fucking need you anymore, bastard. Have to take out the trash sometime.” Hoshi closed his eyes and waited, silently apologizing to you and Gonta, praying that you would get out of here in one piece, if nothing else.

He tensed, waiting for the gunshot, the pain, the darkness, but it never came. He slowly opened his eyes to see the man sneering down at him, crooked yellow teeth shining in the dim lighting.

“Not going to let you die that easily, that's too damn good for someone like you. It's more fun to break you properly, let you see what you’ve done to the ones you love, then have you beg for me to end your miserable life.” Hoshi took a kick to the nose and felt blood spill down his chin, going limp as they attempted to pull him to his feet, passed out.

“Fucker doesn't deserve to rest, but whatever. Throw him in with the other two till he wakes up, then call me.” The men did as they were told, carrying Hoshi like a sack of flour. You jumped when the door to your prison opened, waking Gonta up quickly in case he needed to defend himself.

“Special delivery.” One of the men said gruffly, dumping Hoshi at his feet with a laugh before closing the door, leaving the room in an eerie silence. You felt like you couldn't move, could barely even breathe, as you stared at the seemingly lifeless body of your boyfriend.

You remembered the threats the leader had made, talking about how Hoshi wouldn't survive this mission, no chance of him getting out alive. And here he was, bloody and broken and not moving. Just as tears started to prickle at your eyes, knowing Hoshi was gone, he twitched. You gasped, getting up from the barebones mattress and rushing to Hoshi, draping over him in an emotional hug.

You couldn't speak, only sob as you pressed your forehead to his chest and heard a heartbeat. Gonta followed you quickly once he realized what was going on, smiling through his own tears as you pulled Hoshi close. He was still unconscious, but he was breathing, he was alive. And that's better than you could have hoped for.

“Ryoma is… here. Gonta doesn't know what happened…” You nodded, wiping your face and running a hand through Hoshi’s messy hair.

“Me neither, but he's alive… That's all that matters right now.” In the back of your mind, you knew this couldn't mean anything good, if they had tossed Hoshi in with you and Gonta, he must have done something. But you couldn't force yourself to care, helping Gonta get Hoshi on the bed and wrapping him in a blanket. His hands were stuck tied behind his back, but Gonta managed to break the rope, letting you move his arms to a more comfortable position.

One was clearly broken, so you tried to be careful, hoping Hoshi wouldn't wake up in too much pain. You and Gonta huddled close together, protecting Hoshi from anything that could come, no matter how fruitless it may have been. It felt like hours when Hoshi finally started to stir, groaning and gasping when he tried to move his arm.

“Whoa, whoa, don't move, Ryo, it's okay. We’ve got you, your arm's broken, just stay still.” Hoshi’s eyes flew open at the sound of your voice, his eyes wide with panic as he attempted to sit up. Gonta helped him to gently sit up, watching worriedly as Hoshi looked around the room.

“Oh fuck, no s-shit…” Hoshi muttered, struggling to get to his feet.

“No, Gonta won't let Ryoma get up, he needs to rest!”

“I can't rest! I have to get out of here, if I'm in here with you guys then that means they-'' Hoshi was cut off by a loud bang on the steel door that caged them in, yelping with pain when Gonta pulled him to his chest protectively.

“He’s awake, huh? Damn, I kinda hoped he’d die in his sleep, maybe choke on his own blood or something.” You bit your lip and got to your feet, refusing to cower from the man you knew had hurt Hoshi.

“Someone's feisty today, hmm? Good, I like it when you fight a little, makes it more fun to put you in your place.” You stood your ground even when the man got closer, his hot breath fanning your face.

“Rot in fucking hell.” He laughed, his saliva making fight off a gagging reflex.

“I'll see you there, then, honey.” Your arm was grabbed and something heavy was pushed into it, smooth metal of a gun handle making your heart jump. The last time you had seen a gun, the unthinkable had happened…

“Now, don't get any cute ideas, babydoll, one wrong move and you’re toast. See, you have a choice to make, and the lug over there can help you with it.” Still angry, you chose to reply.

“What, shoot you and die?”

“Cute, but no. You so much as get a twitchy finger and both your pretty boys die, and you become my personal pet. Not a choice I’d make. Instead, you get a shot at freedom.” You paled, trying to will your shaky hand to steady. A chance to get out of here was tempting, but you knew there had to be a catch.

“See, I want that fucking piece of shit Ryoma dead. One way or another, he's not coming out of this, but I'd love to see the look on his face as you pointed that pretty piece his way. Shoot him, right between the eyes, and the two of you are free. Two lives for the price of one, what a fucking deal!”

You bit your lip, cursing yourself for the brief millisecond where the idea of accepting crossed your mind. The two of you had just gotten Ryoma back in your arms, as battered as he was, nothing was worth losing that. Instead, you shoved the gun back in the man's hands.

“Id never fucking take that deal.” You shouted, storming away back to the bed and weaving your fingers with Ryoma’s.

“We’ll get out of here together, or not at all. You can fucking break me, if you want, but I won't hurt either of them.”

“Let's see if you regret that in a few days, darling. I'm more than happy to make your life that much worse.” You kept your calm as the man shot you a toothy grin and left, security goons shutting the door firmly behind them and locking it. Ryoma groaned in Gonta’s arms, shaking his hand loose from your grip.

“You should have just done it…” He muttered, lacking the strength to even open his eyes.

“No, I shouldn't have. I don't want to escape this hell hole without you, Ryoma.”

“Gonta agrees! As much as he wants to leave, Gonta would never let (Y/N) or Ryoma get left behind!”

“It's not as if I deserve to live anyway, especially with what it will cost you guys.” You just shook your head and wrapped your arms around Ryoma as gently as you could, forehead leaning on his shoulder.

“I meant what I said, I don't care what happens, I'm not letting either of you get hurt.”

“And neither will Gonta.”

Ryoma only hummed in response, body giving in to instinct as he passed out again. Like that, you and Gonta were able to lay him down easier, covering him in the thin excuse for a blanket and curling around him protectively. Taking a stand left you exhausted and it wasn't long before you fell asleep as well.

Unbeknownst to you, it would only be a brief respite from torture. It could have been minutes or hours until you were woken up by a shock of freezing water, ice cubes smacking against your skin and making you yelp.

“Aww, did we wake you up? Too fucking bad.” You barely had time to blink the water from your eyes before you felt a weight lift from the mattress, Gonta squirming as two sets of hands pulled him up. Senses dulled from sleep and arms yanked behind his back, he wasn't able to fight back enough to stop them, shouting as he was dragged away. The men stopped briefly in the hallway, just long enough to tie Gonta’s hands and wrap a blindfold over his eyes before escorting him further and further away.

Just when you stopped being able to hear the yelling and struggle, you and Hoshi were pulled up, tossed over someones back like a wet sack of flour as your own eyes were covered, shutting out any light. Still, that didn't stop you from squirming, trying in vain to get free as the man carrying you cursed.

“Fucking bitch, settle down before I make you.” Something sharp was pressed against your back and you went still, knowing they wouldn't hesitate to cut you if given half a reason.

“Ryoma! Are you okay!” You heard a pained groan in response, knowing he had been given the same rough treatment, if not worse.

“Alright, let's go.” You were carried out of the room, whimpering every time the man hefted you higher, your soaked shirt clinging to your skin as the chill set in.

“Shes fucking heavier than she looks, damn.” The man grumbled to himself, kicking open the door to a dog kennel. You cried out as you were shoved inside, hitting your head on metal bars. You didn't struggle for long, barely having any room to move inside the cage. Your head throbbed where it had connected with the metal, breath hitching as you tried to figure out where you were. Bars surrounded you entirely, with only a few inches in any direction to move. Blindly, you kicked out, gasping when your foot smashed into stiff metal, unbending no matter how hard you fought.

“Where G-Gonta? What did you do with him? Gonta! Hoshi!” You screamed, hot tears pouring down your cheeks.

“For fuck's sake.” Someone muttered, opening that small gate to your kennel before you could kick again. A sob caught in your throat as the sharp blade of a knife was held to your windpipe, going quiet.

“Good girl, that's better. Now sit pretty and shut the fuck up, got it? He’s closer than you know, so don't get all excited.” You couldn't find the words to respond as the knife disappeared, curling around yourself in the hard darkness and doing your best to listen for any sign of Gonta. It wasn't long until you heard sounds of a struggle down the hall before they suddenly went quiet.

“Yeah, that's what I thought. I've got it from here, this little shit isn't much trouble on his own.” Hoshi swallowed thickly, deciding that silence was the best choice as he was marched down the hall, cold barrel of a gun once again finding his temple. He wobbled unsteadily between the pain and having his eyes covered, doing as he was told and hoping it would be enough to keep you and Gonta safe. Finally, the man told him to stop, standing in a room far from the one they had been kept in before.

“Where am I? Where the hell are Gonta and (Y/N)?”

“What, you still want to see them? After they refused to put you out of that miserable existence of yours? They’re right fucking here.” The leader tapped the top of a cage, flicking his dirty nails against the bars until it clicked. He had caged you, like an unruly pet, locked you in a tiny box and hurt you, somehow or another.

“What the fuck did you do to them? Gonta? Hey, (Y/N), say something.” Hoshi got no response, chewing his lip with the effort to not fight this. He called out again, ignoring the slight snicker from the other man.

“You fucking killed them, didn't you? What did you do?” Enraged, Hoshi lunged blindly, easily shoved to his knees when he lost his balance. The leader roughly shoved the gun against his head again, leaning close enough to Hoshi’s face that he could smell the rancid whiskey on his breath.

“You think I would do that? Let it end so soon?” Hoshi could hear the sound of the cage doors opening, shuddering when you cried out as a heavy boot kicked you a few times. He gave Gonta the same treatment, hitting him hard enough to wake him up, in tears from the pain.

“See? Still breathin’. Happy? Now, in.” Hoshi groaned as he was kicked into his own cage, crawling blindly inside. The door was slammed shut and laughter echoed throughout the room as the man left, abandoning the three of them like unwanted animals. Hoshi stayed quiet for a moment, fighting panic and trying to keep his head. They wouldn't be left like this forever, would they? Surely this would be no fun for the sadistic leader, they couldn't be left in here long.

“R-Ryoma…” You called out softly, reaching your fingers through the bars. You couldn't feel anything, neither cage was close enough for you to touch.

“Are you alright? What did they do to you?”

“Just roughed up a bit… I'll be okay. I'm more worried about Gonta, he's so quiet…”

“Gonta is awake, mostly, but he can't see or move.” Hoshi sighed, hoping he could keep the two of you at least somewhat calm.

“We… they put us in cages, like damn animals, blindfolded us as well. Can you get out of your ropes, Gonta?” A few groans of pain later and Gonta made an excited noise as he freed himself.

“Gonta managed to, yeah, are Ryoma and (Y/N) okay?” Hoshi nodded to himself, shakily taking off his blindfold and blinking quickly. You managed to get your own blindfold off, but only more darkness awaited you. The room was pitch black, the only light coming in from the crack between the door and the stone floor, barely enough to illuminate the vague shape of the other two cages.

For a moment, your strength slipped, the face you had put on for Gonta, to not give the men what they wanted, faded. A sob wrenched its way from your throat and you curled in around your knees, shaking with the effort not to cry.

“H-how long… will we be in here?” You managed, trying in vain to stay calm.

“I don't know… It'll be okay, (Y/N), we’ll be okay.” You finally burst into tears, fear overwhelming you. You were freezing cold, clothes soaked through with water, trapped in a cage barely big enough for you to move in. And yet, you felt weak for crying, fighting to stop the tears and get control of yourself.

“S-sorry…” You muttered, sniffling.

“Gonta wishes he could hold (Y/N) and Ryoma…” Gonta said softly, Hoshi humming in agreement. Time went by in weird ways while you were trapped in those cages. At first, the three of you talked, if nothing more than to just fill the silence until Hoshi fell asleep. The darkness eventually lulled you to sleep as well, unsure of how long you were out before waking up again.

Time passed achingly slow in the cages, especially when one of you was usually asleep at all times. It could have been a few hours or even a day before the door was open again, the sudden light making you groan and shield your eyes. Once your eyes adjusted, though, you were able to see the rough condition Ryoma and Gonta were in, chewing your lip.

“Let us out,” You demanded, throat dry. The man, who you didn't recognize, didn't respond to your pleas, even when you started shouting.

“Don't hurt yourself, (Y/N), it's okay,” Gonta said softly, a worried look in his eyes. You nodded and sighed, sending Gonta a faint smile. Before you had a chance to think, the door to your cage was being opened, a package of crackers and a water bottle tossed into your lap before it was shut again. You didn't have the time to react or try and bolt, just blinking silently.

Gonta made no effort to move when his own door was opened, gulping down water quickly. Hoshi, however, sprung forward the moment his own cage was opened up, only to be met with a gun barrel pressing against his forehead.

“Sit down, now.” The man commanded, cocking the gun when Hoshi hesitated. Finally, he relented, sitting back down and making a pained noise when the water bottle connected with his broken arm. The man disappeared just as quickly as he came, leaving the three of you back in the darkness.

“I'm sorry…” Hoshi muttered, apologizing once again.

“Don't be, Ryoma.”

“I should be, though! It's my fault you two are here, being tortured for weeks on end! If I hadn't let myself love the two of you, if I hadn't thought I could be happy and make you guys happy, you would be safe! If I had just died, or never gotten out of-”

“Shut up!” You shouted, frustrated and with tears in your eyes. You quickly lowered your voice, though, taking a deep breath.

“Ryoma… it doesn't matter how we got here, alright? I'm glad that you let yourself be happy, with Gonta and I. Because even though we ended up here, we’re still together. We got to have those good times. I fucking love you and Gonta, and I don't give a damn what happens, nothing is going to change that. Got it?”

Gonta perked up, moving around a bit in his cage. “Gonta agrees. He wouldn't want to have a life without Ryoma, even though things went badly. Gonta loves Ryoma, and (Y/N), and he's glad that everyone is together now.”

Hoshi was silent for a while, heels of his hands pushed against his eyes in an attempt to fight off tears. “Dammit, why do you two have to be so… good?”

You didn't skip a beat, smiling softly into the darkness. “Because you’re just as good, Ryoma. You just don't see it. We’re gonna get out of this together, got it? Don't… don't give up yet, alright?” Hoshi nodded before remembering you couldn't see him.

“I'll try.” You breathed a quiet sigh of relief, trying to relax as much as you could. Things settled down for a while after that, the three of you eating slowly and talking about anything that came to mind. After everything that had happened, especially in the past couple of days, it was almost… nice. Nice to be able and just ignore your situation and chat, reminiscing about better times.

At one point you even laughed, giggling until a sob caught in your throat. You shifted and your shoulder brushed the metal bars, reminding you of exactly where you were right now. The talking stopped after that, drifting in and out of consciousness with your water bottle clenched tightly in your hand. Things were never quiet for long, though, not in this hell.

At one point, you were woken up by yelling as the door was pushed open and Hoshi was dragged out, easily picked up by a mountain of a man despite his attempts to fight. Both you and Gonta shouted after him, searching for answers but only getting silence in return. When Hoshi finally returned, he looked a little worse than before, somehow, and was scarily quiet.

“What did they do to you, Ryoma?”

“Don't… d-don't worry about it.” Hoshi muttered, not wanting to worry you or Gonta any further. What was a little more pain, at this point? They were smart enough to keep him alive and hurting, for now at least. Pain was the least of Hoshi’s worries at this point. He knew the leader of this group well enough to know he would get bored of this before long, having them caged would only bring him so much joy.

And yet, they remained locked up, every so often one of you would be taken away and return with a few more cuts or bruises, usually Hoshi. You didn't speak of it anymore, just tried to comfort one another and keep your sanity. And then it all stopped. For two days, the heavy steel door remained closed.

No food delivery, no water, no torture.

Nothing.

The three of you slept when you could, talked when the silence grew too loud, fought to stay calm. Too much longer and you wouldn't make it out, the mental image growing stronger by the hour. Dying of thirst while locked in dog kennels, beaten to hell and back… it was almost funny. Just as you felt your mind starting to slip, contemplating the idea of drinking your own blood, the door finally opened. You immediately closed your eyes, the light making your already present headache worse.

“Shit, you three look terrible!” A familiar voice laughed, pulling a grimace from your face.

“I guess being turned into pets would do that, huh? Well, good news! You get to take a walk today!” You didn't have the strength to fight as you were pulled from your cage, managing to walk unsteadily as you were led out of the room. Gonta and Hoshi weren't far behind, both struggling to stay on their feet as they were pushed along.

“Where are we going?”

“Oh, you’ll see, darlin’.” You rolled your eyes, nearly collapsing when you were shoved through a doorway. The room was fairly empty, save for a full bathtub and some unsettling stains along the concrete walls. The boys were pushed to the ground, Hoshi sucking in a sharp breath when his broken arm was moved.

“Ryoma, are you-”

“Now, dogs don't talk, do they?” The leader interrupted, forcing you to bite your tongue before you said something you regret. The men who had helped drag you here left, shutting the door behind them with a heavy thunk.

“See, all this time, I've been trying to decide what to do with you three. Keeping caged puppies is no fun, especially when they don't fight back. So, I started thinking. What's the best way for me to hurt all three of you.” You saw Hoshi dig his nails into his palm, almost too exhausted to do much else.

“Not interested in being chatty? That's alright, I got plenty of shit to say all on my own. Honestly, Hoshi, it's no goddamn fun hurting you anymore. I've kicked your ass a few too many times to really enjoy it now, so I ruled that out. If I beat up these two again, they just might not make it! So, what the hell else can I do?”

The silence was nearly tangible in the air as you stared at the floor, having no interest in looking at the man behind your captivity.

“I gotta start getting creative! Maybe even bring in a little outside help, you know? Could hunt down one of those little friends of yours, it wouldn't take more than a day or two. Let's see… We already got the bratty little detective, what about the pretty maid? The ditzy space cadet? I could pick off your friends one by one, bring them here, force you to watch them suffer until they finally break.”

Hoshi made a move to speak, against his better judgment, but you grabbed his hand, a warning. Talking back now would only end in pain.

“I thought about taking pieces of you two, cut the girly’s hair, take a few fingers, maybe more. But that's not quite as easy as it sounds, wouldn't want you guys fuckin’ dying on me!” You gasped as your chin was grabbed, forcing you to meet the man's eyes.

“You are easily the most fun to play with, I have so many ideas about what to do with you. It doesn't have to be so painful, you know? Could be fun if you let it be.” Bile rose in your throat at the implications of what he was saying, tears stinging in your eyes. Before he could do anything else, though, Hoshi spoke up.

“Don't you dare fucking… t-touch her.” The man looked away, a smirk spreading across his features.

“Take your hands off her right fucking now.” Laughing quietly, the man pulled back, allowing you to finally breathe a bit.

“And what the hell are you going to do, bastard? You think you can save her, save either of their sorry asses? Face it, you are my pets, and I'll do whatever I damn well please!” Hoshi stood up, even when you tried to stop him.

“Do anything you want to me, but don't fucking touch them.”

“You’d rather do it yourself? I don't mind a show, keeps me from having to get my hands dirty.” You cried out when you were grabbed by the hair and pulled over to the bathtub, Gonta receiving the same treatment as he was pushed right beside you. For the first time in what felt like years, you could see your reflection, features distorted by the water's movement.

You could have guessed you looked rough, but the reality of seeing it brought more tears to your eyes. Your face was thin, dark circles under your eyes with dirt and blood smudging your skin. You didn't have time to mourn your appearance, though, not when Hoshi was shoved towards you and Gonta.

“You wanted so badly to save them, you can be the one to kill them. Go on, shove them under for me, why don't you? You wouldn't want me to get fucking bored, I won't wait for long.” The gun reappeared and a shiver ran through your body, not daring to look back at Hoshi, who gingerly placed his hand on the back of your head. You could feel his hand shaking, tense, trying to think of any other way to get out of this.

“Five… four… three…” Hoshi bit his lip, the ticking of the gun being cocked forcing him into action.

“Forgive me…” He muttered under his breath and pushed your and Gonta’s heads under the water.

“See, was that really so hard? Probably a lot nicer than what I would do with the two of them. Don't you dare fucking let them up, either.” Fat tears dripped down Hoshi’s cheeks as he pushed harder, using every ounce of his remaining strength to force you and Gonta under the water. Distantly, he could hear wet screams, the water raging as the two of you squirmed, but being starved in the cages enabled Hoshi to keep you under.

Hoshi’s eyes squeezed shut, unable to bear the sight of what he had been forced to do. Of all the horrible things he had done, of all the lives he had taken, the pain he had caused, this was the worst. His heart was beating out of his chest, barely able to breathe as he murdered the two people he loved. Hoshi only felt worse as your fighting subsided, barely moving under his grip as your bodies began to succumb to his actions.

Finally, the man moved towards him and yanked Hoshi’s hands back, pulling you and Gonta from the water. Hoshi’s heart skipped a beat when you both fell backward, unmoving to his eyes.

“Aw, damn, that was over pretty quick, huh? Shit, looks like you did a number on em!” Hoshi could barely see through his tears, eyes burning as he fell back and hit the ground hard. He couldn't make a sound, even when his mind was screaming, sobbing, begging to take it all back.

“Congrats, you piece of shit, you’ve officially ruined everything you touch, fuckin’ murderer.” That was the last thing Hoshi heard before he blacked out, his body finally giving in to weakness, only exacerbated by the pain that gripped him. Unbeknownst to Hoshi, though, you and Gonta were still alive.

You coughed up water, chest burning worse than anything you had ever felt, mind too foggy to realize what happened next. The three of you were carted back to your old room, dumped in there like trash with little more than a passing thought. It could have been a few hours or a few days before you noticed anything else, body and spirit broken after nearly being drowned. That voice was back and you cowered from it, too weak to do anything but curl into yourself, eyes glued shut.

“Shit, you people are like fucking roaches, just don't fucking die do you? I'm fuckin’ over this, too much damn work.” You were out of it not long after, waking up some time later to only darkness, a blindfold tied tightly around your head. Finally, you were able to squirm, trying to call out by finding your mouth covered as well, by duct tape if the tight feeling was any indication. Still, you attempted to scream until you were slapped on the back of the head, tears springing to your blinded eyes.

“I guess this one's awake too, huh? Time to fill em in.” An unfamiliar voice spoke much too close to your ear, making you shudder.

“See, you three little shits are all work and no play, so the boss is done with you. No point in keeping around toys you can't have fun with. So we have some lovely orders to dump you off in gang territory.” You heard another voice, laughing.

“Not just any damn gang! The Crazy fuckin’ Diamonds territory, and they don't take too kindly to visitors.” You tried to get free, only to realize your arms and legs were bound, body still exhausted even as adrenaline coursed through you.

“You know, there's a lot of rumors about their leader going around, I wouldn't fuck with him if I were you.”

“Yeah, like the one where he fuckin’ merked some shrimp with a dumbbell, just cause he called him weak. Strung his little body up as a warning to anyone else who wanted to cross him.”

“And damn, the story of how he rose to power of the group? Dude killed his own brother, the old leader, in cold fuckin’ blood, just for the title. Mowed him down with a truck, how nasty is that?” You shuddered at the thought that you were only going to be delivered into the hands of someone equally horrible to endure more torture.

“Welp, here we are. Have fun, fuckers, I'm sure we’ll see your sad little stories in the newspaper before long, Crazy Diamonds won't have much to play with.” You were frozen solid with fear as you were moved to the ground, hands stuck under your back as you heard footsteps walking away.

Faintly, you could hear Hoshi and Gonta nearby, trying to get free with no more luck than you had had. It was a gentle comfort as you passed out again, adrenaline leaving your body vulnerable to your injuries. Hoshi, in the best condition out of the three of you, started squirming around, yelling through the tape over his mouth, trying to catch anyone's attention.

It was all in vain, his voice too muffled to be heard from the street, not when they were so well hidden in an alleyway, almost entirely blocked from view by a dumpster. Eventually, footsteps could be heard coming towards the three of you.

“Shit! Holy fuck, please tell me that those aren't… fuck.” Hoshi, unsure of whether this new voice was dangerous or not, stayed still, waiting.

“Hey, Mondo? Yeah, I know you’re with Fujisaki right now, I'm sorry, but we have a situation. You know the alley by the bar? Yeah, there's three fuckin’ bodies here, dude. They ain't movin’, should I- In five minutes? Okay, thanks, sorry again.”

The man hung up and Hoshi breathed as quietly as he could. He couldn't know what was or wasn't true about where they were dumped, it was better just to play dead for now until he got a better understanding of the situation. It wasn't as if he could do much in the way of fight anyway, not with a broken arm and a weakened body. But he would do what he had to in order to keep you and Gonta safe, no matter what happened to him. A few minutes later more footsteps could be heard, coming from the other direction.

“Oh my god!” A soft voice squeaked out, footsteps halting.

“Stay here, Chihiro, don't get too close.” A man muttered, what Hoshi assumed to be his footsteps moving closer.

“Fuck, you weren't kidding, were you?”

“No, sir, I didn't… know what to do.” The new man leaned down near Hoshi, gingerly rolling him onto his back. Hoshi couldn't hide the way his breath caught in his chest with pain, giving him away.

“Wait, this one’s alive! Check those two! They might be alive too! Chi, call Taka, tell him to send anyone whose free, and get Mikan on standby, okay?”

“Got it!”

Anxiety flooded Hoshi as he was sat up, blindfold and gag removed.

“Hey dude, you okay? We’re gonna get you and those two out of here in a few, what the fuck happened to you?” Hoshi couldn't talk, couldn't think, even as gentle hands shook him lightly.

“Whoa, hey, don't pass out on me! Shit! Okay, we gotta get them the fuck out of here, someone did this to them and I don't want them coming back to try and finish the job.” Hoshi was unconscious, his body overwhelmed and, subconsciously, relieved. It seemed as if this man wanted to help them, if the way he called for help was any indication.

When he woke up, he was in a new building, a steady beeping urging him awake. Hoshi blinked quickly, another way of panic running through him when he didn't recognize the room he was in. He started thrashing, ignoring the pain shooting through his arm and trying to get free of the cables and tubes connected to him.

“Let me out, let me go!” He shouted, nearly jumping out of his skin when someone touched his shoulder.

“P-please be careful! You’re going to hurt yourself! Please!” A girl said nervously, urging him back down.

“Mondo?! He’s awake!” She called to the doorway, the man who had helped him up before emerging. He was a character, to say the least, a large pompadour sticking out from his head and a biker jacket covering his body.

“I got it, shit, stay back for a second. Hey, dude, it's okay! You’re safe here, I promise, don't go ripping out all of Mikan’s hard work. Your friends are over there, just lay down, it's all good.”

The man, Mondo he assumed, pushed Hoshi back down onto what he now realized was a hospital bed, sighing with relief when Hoshi didn't fight back. He took stock of the room, finding it similar to a school nurse's office, but with much nicer equipment. The beeping Hoshi had heard before was the heart monitor, connected to his chest with wires that had gotten a bit tangled.

“Where are…” He trailed off, chest heaving as his adrenaline faded.

“Oh, the two you were with? They’re right here, though they haven't woken up yet. We honestly thought you guys were dead when we found you, it still doesn't look too good.” Mondo pulled back the curtains on either side of Hoshi to reveal two more beds, you and Gonta passed out and connected to several machines.

“Um, are they your friends?”

“More than that… they were, at least.” Hoshi muttered, not sure how to characterize your relationship now. Since you three were safe now, he could only assume that you and Gonta would want nothing to do with him and leave once they were able. He couldn't blame them for it, either, he would break up with himself too after what he had done. Hell, he had nearly killed them, Hoshi would be shocked if you or Gonta even looked his way once you woke up.

“They aren't doing too well, they, um… they were in worse condition than you were when you got here. What happened? I-if that's okay to ask!” Hoshi shook his head, laying back down and digging his nails into his palm.

“I almost fucking killed them…” He said quietly, not ready to say anything more. He’d have to tell the story at some point, but the longer he could put it off, the better.

“Hey, you want us to call anyone, dude? Like, your family or something?” Hoshi shook his head, closing his eyes.

“Just want to sleep…”

“O-okay! We’ll leave you alone, you need to rest to heal up. Here, you can press this if you need me to come back for anything.” The girl, dressed in a classic nurse outfit, pressed a small remote into Hoshi’s good hand, closing the curtains and nearly stumbling as she left. Hoshi didn't bother to fight his exhaustion, wondering if you and Gonta would still be here when he woke up.

It was your voice, hours later, that pulled him from unconsciousness, along with several other people shouting.

“Don't come any fucking closer!” You yelled, brandishing a random syringe that had been within arms reach when you woke up.

“P-please put that down! I promise, you’re safe here! No one is going to hurt you!”

“What she said! Come on, put the damn needle away, you don't need a weapon!” Hoshi struggled to sit up, barely managing to reach the curtain beside his bed and yank it open. You were on your knees, still hooked up to machines even as you prepared to fight Mondo and the nurse.

“(Y/N)...” Hoshi muttered, finally grabbing your attention.

“Ryoma! You’re okay! Where's Gonta?!” Hoshi pointed to the other curtain, breathing hard.

“It's safe, you don't need that, they aren't going to hurt us.” You finally lowered your hand, fingers uncurling from the syringe and letting it drop to the bed.

“Oh…” You muttered, still on guard as the nurse quietly took the syringe away and helped you lay back down.

“Sorry… I didn't…”

“It's okay, I-I understand, you were scared. How do you feel? You’ve been unconscious for a long time…” You flinched a little when the woman started taking your vitals, unable to relax even with Hoshi so close.

“It's a little hard to breathe… and I'm cold, too.” The woman nodded, tucking the blanket around you gently.

“Are you in pain? I need to get more x-rays, but all three of you have broken bones. You’re also malnourished and dehydrated… Among other things.” The nurse was soft-spoken but firm as she covered you in a second blanket.

“How are they? Is Gonta… is he okay?” She nodded, walking over and opening the curtain that had hidden Gonta from view.

“He’s not in good shape but… all three of you should recover.” You nodded, trying to take a deep breath and wincing.

“Ow… That's not… that's pretty painful.” The nurse returned to your side, looking over the chart you hadn't realized was at the foot of your bed.

“Would you like pain killers? I'm pretty sure you have a couple of broken r-ribs and your lungs… they’re damaged from water.” Hoshi’s face fell at the mention of the water, memories surging back from when he had held you and Gonta under until you nearly died.

“Please…” The nurse gave a small smile and turned to Hoshi, concerned.

“Your lungs are better but your arm is badly broken and healing wrong, we’ll have to… rebreak it to fix it. Would you like some medication too?” Hoshi shook his head adamantly, even when that much movement sent a jolt of pain through him.

“I'm fine.” He said quietly, falling back against the pillows as the nurse left.

“Why won't you take the meds, Ryoma?”

“I'm fine…”

“You're not fine, Ryo! I can see it on your face that you’re in pain, please… You’ve been through enough, I don't want you to hurt anymore.” You whispered fiercely, biting your lip when Hoshi shook his head. It wasn't that he didn't need the pain relief, not that he didn't want it, but he didn't deserve it. He had almost killed you and Gonta, had hurt you beyond belief, not to mention the countless others he had murdered. The pain radiating through his body was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

Before you could try to argue, Gonta coughed roughly, starting to wake up. You attempted to get out of bed, jumping when a hand touched your shoulder.

“You’re going to hurt yourself doing that, just stay here.” A man said gently, going to Gonta’s bedside, ready to hold him down if needed.

“Where is… who are you?” Gonta asked, his voice rough and sending him into another fit of coughs.

“Gonta, it's okay, we’re right here!” You shouted, forcing a smile even when more pain made you shudder. Hoshi nodded, not able to meet Gonta’s eyes as he sat up slowly.

“Are (Y/N) and Ryoma okay? Gonta doesn't recognize this place…”

“We got dumped off and then rescued, it's okay, we’re… safe.” The word felt foreign in Hoshi’s mouth, like it was a lie.

“Hey there big guy, you scared us there. Thought you weren't gonna come back from that shit. Names Mondo, I guess you guys should know that, huh?” Slowly, Gonta relaxed as Mondo fiddled with the bed, making the head side raise so that Gonta could sit up easier.

“Gonta and the others were saved?” Mondo nodded, flashing him a smile.

“Yep! One of my guys found you and we got you here, Mikan is the best nurse I've ever met, she's the one who’s been taking care of you.” All three of you stared at Mondo wordlessly, not sure what to say. Finally, you spoke up.

“We were told we were being left in gang territory, the…”

“Crazy Diamonds?” Mondo supplied. You nodded, a shiver running through you at the name, remembering the stories the men who had brought you there had told.

“Yep, that's us. I'm the leader, or whatever, it's not that big a deal.” You paled, Gonta and Hoshi no better. Slowly, you shrank away from Mondo, blood running ice cold. So you weren't safe after all… Mondo awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck when he noticed how scared you looked.

“You’ve heard the rumors, huh? That I murdered the last leader for this spot, killed someone else with a dumbbell? Other horrible shit like that?” You didn't respond, discreetly looking around for another syringe, just in case.

“None of it's true, you know. The last leader, he died, but he was my brother. I killed him, but not… like that.” You could tell the sadness in Mondo’s eyes was genuine, you had seen it in your own right before you had been pushed under the water by Hoshi. Before Mondo could continue, a small boy entered the room, short with dainty features, almost feminine. He shook his head, speaking up quietly.

“It wasn't your fault, Mondo, don't make me tell Taka you're saying things like that again.” He smiled and turned to you, biting his lip when he saw the bandages covering your body.

“My name is Chihiro Fujisaki, I was with Mondo when we… found you. Are you okay? I was so worried, you guys weren't moving and… I thought the worst.” You couldn't help but smile back, not wanting Chihiro to feel bad.

“We’ll… be okay.” Chihiro perked up a bit at that, greeting Hoshi and Gonta before returning to Mondo’s side.

“You guys want to talk about how you got this screwed up? I mean, from the shit Mikan said, you three have gone through hell.” You all exchanged looks, tears burning at the corners of your eyes.

“I promise, you’re safe here. Mondo’s group may be known as a gang, but they are good people, they won't anything else happen to you. And I built an amazing security system for this building, no one can get in here without us knowing.”

You took a deep breath and looked towards Gonta and Hoshi, nodding. So, as painful as it was to reminisce, you started telling the story of your kidnapping. Being taken, locked up for days on end with no clue if Hoshi was alive, the things Hoshi had been forced to do in exchange for your safety. You were about to mention Saihara when Hoshi stopped you, taking over.

You understood, letting him explain the death of your friend as fat tears finally slipped down your cheeks. Gonta was in near sobs as Hoshi, stone-faced and somber, caught Mondo and Chihiro up with just how you had ended up there. You got a hold of yourself, wiping your face on the hospital gown.

“And now… we’re here. And we don't, I don't… know what to do next.” You looked up, biting your lip with the effort to not cry again. Chihiro had his hands over his mouth, eyes shining with tears, Mondo’s face worryingly pale.

“And you said… it was Yakuza who did this?” You nodded quickly.

“Shit…” Mondo muttered.

“It was my fault, they wanted me. Those bastards hurt (Y/N) and Gonta to get to me. This is all because of me, if I had just died in jail then-”

“Ryoma, no! Gonta doesn't think that! Gonta knows this is because of the men who hurt him and Ryoma and (Y/N). Ryoma never wanted them to get hurt, he tried to stop them! It isn't… R-Ryoma’s fault!” Gonta’s voice echoed throughout the room, louder than he had meant it to be.

He didn't like to yell, but he couldn't stand hearing Hoshi blame himself when it was the yakuza’s fault, one man in particular. Chihiro ran over to Gonta, handing him a little pack of tissues from his pocket.

“Thank you…” Gonta said softly, coughing.

“But if I had just-”

“No. You don't get to blame yourself, Ryoma! Not when you almost died, multiple times, to save us! No one blames you for this, it's those bastards faults, not yours.” You chewed your lip, flinching when Mondo sat at the foot of your bed, still not used to people being close without the intent of hurting you.

“Yeah, I agree. If the fucker who did this is the guy I think it is, he’s sadistic, loves hurting people just for the fun of it. Toss revenge into the mix and I'm honestly surprised you three got out alive.”

“Barely…” Hoshi muttered, laying down and pulling the blankets over himself. You were about to say something, but Mondo stopped you.

“Let him sit for now, I get how he feels. Seeing you two get hurt, your friend too, and then blaming himself, it's not easy to deal with. Let him go.” You nodded, trying to take a deep breath. You hated that Hoshi blamed himself for this, but he wasn't ready to listen yet, it was better to let him rest. Soon, Mikan returned with medication for you and Gonta, which had you quickly falling asleep as it took effect.

Even when everyone was passed out, Mondo sat in a chair by the door, just in case anyone tried to get in. Chihiro and Mikan came and went, checking up on your vitals and setting up Alter Ego to monitor them remotely, allowing them to keep an eye on you from across the little compound.

You woke up groggily to see Mondo talking quietly with another man, bright red eyes and dark hair, dressed oddly formally for a gang’s nursing wing.

“Do you think it's wise to tell them? It wouldn't be good for a war of sorts to break out.” Mondo shook his head, glancing over at you, not realizing you were waking up.

“If it's Yakuza, those two can help, even just to keep them safe. I'm not letting them get hurt anymore, they’ve been through too much shit as it is.” The other man nodded, looking over as well and frowning at the sight of your injuries.

“It's a miracle they’re alive, are they… stable?”

“Yeah, Mikan says they’ll be alright, but it's gonna be awhile. Not to mention recovering from something like that, mentally, it won't be easy.” The conversation faded as you slipped back into sleep for a bit, grumbling when you felt something cold against your chest.

“S-sorry! I didn't mean to wake you up, I was just checking on your lungs.” Mikan helped you sit up, moving over to Hoshi after a moment to listen to his breathing.

“Odd, your lungs are pretty much fine, aside from your broken ribs.”

“He didn't… we went through different methods of torture.” You said softly, not missing the guilt in Hoshi’s eyes as Mikan moved on to Gonta.

“Your’s are the worst… if they don't improve soon, we might need to give you medication for it, or surgery.” Gonta shook his head quickly.

“Gonta… really doesn't want that.”

“W-well, Gonta, do your best to heal up, okay? It's late, you guys should try and go back to sleep. We’ll need to re-break your arm in the morning…”

“Hoshi, that's (Y/N).”

“Right! Get some rest, if you can. If you need anything, there's a button by each of your beds, a-and Mondo and some of the others have been guarding the door, just in case.” Mikan left quickly, turning down the lights so you could go back to sleep. You were exhausted, but didn't lay down just yet.

“Ryoma, please, talk to us.”

“Gonta hates seeing Ryoma so hurt, he wants to help.” Hoshi just shook his head, not looking at either of you.

“I'm fine, really. I don't deserve your help, anyway. Just lay down and get some sleep, alright? Don't worry about me.” Hoshi was silent after that, leaving you with little choice than to curl up under the hospital blanket and drift off into a restless sleep.

Once he was sure both you and Gonta were asleep, Hoshi tossed off his covers, methodically tearing out his IV and unhooking all of the other cords he was attached to. It hurt like hell, blood dripping down his hand from the poor job, but it would work. He just had to get out of there, he’d figure it out after that. Cradling his bad arm, Hoshi quietly got out of bed, making it no more than a few steps before the door opened. Mondo and Chihiro were there, Chihiro’s phone saying something to him in a very similar voice as the boys own.

“Are you okay? Alter Ego said your heart rate stopped, I-” Finally, they both realized that Hoshi was fine, albeit dripping blood onto the tile.

“I'm leaving.”

“You’re bleeding, fuck, you aren't in any condition to be walking around dude!” Hoshi shook his head, covering the wound with his hand.

“I'm fine, just let me through.”

“B-but why would you leave? You’re safe, you don't have to worry about anything happening here.” Something dawned on Mondo, the things Hoshi had said earlier.

“Chi, can you go back out for a bit, keep an eye on the door?”

“Are you sure?” Mondo nodded and Chihiro left, closing the door softly behind him.

“Would you move, dammit? I don't want them waking up until I'm gone.”

“This is about you blaming yourself, right? For them getting hurt?” Hoshi sighed, unsteady on his feet.

“At least take the chair, man, you’re going to pass out if you aren't careful, and Mikan can get scary when she's mad.” Hoshi scowled but sat in the metal chair, blood leaking past his hand.

“What happened back there that makes you so sure this is your fault?”

“The part where I was the one that bastard wanted hurt? The part where my friend died because of me? Or the part where I held the two people I love underwater until their fucking lungs gave out and nearly killed them?” Mondo was quiet for a moment.

“That wasn't you though man! That was the Yakuza, they made you do that shit!”

“Doesn't matter, I still did it. They still got hurt. They will never be the same after what they had to go through because of me.”

“But they don't blame you. They just want you here, to get better and all that.”

“They’re wrong. They don't see it, because they don't want to see it. If I had died in prison, they would have never gotten hurt. Shuichi wouldn't be fucking d-dead.” Hoshi dug his nails into his thigh, tears burning behind his eyes. He refused to let them fall, he didn't even deserve that mercy.

“You know that rumor about me taking out the last Diamond leader?”

“Yeah.”

“He was my brother. My big brother, he led this gang better than I ever could have, and he was passing me the torch when he was ready to move on. I challenged him to race, tried to show off, nearly got hit by a big ass truck. My brother, he pushed me out of the way, took the brunt of it, didn't get back up. He died, and I was still here, and for a long time, I blamed myself. If I hadn't gotten so damn reckless, he wouldn't have gotten hit. I shut everyone out, until I found out what was happening. My guys, they needed a leader, and Daiya was gone. They needed me. And leading them was more important than wallowing in that pity shit.”

Mondo slapped Hoshi on the back, almost enough to hurt.

“Those two, they need you. And you sure as hell need them too. If anyone was gonna blame you for what happened, it would be them, but they don't. So you shouldn't either. Let them in, ‘aight? It helps. I can't force you to stay, but Mikan is pretty convincing, and if that doesn't work, no one can really say no to Chihiro. So leave, if you want to, but it's not gonna benefit them at all.” Hoshi sat there, silent, trying to make a choice. He stood up shakily, blood loss starting to set in.

“I guess I'm staying, then.”

“Good shit, man, here, lemme help.” Mondo got Hoshi to the bed, pushing the button for Mikan so she could fix Hoshi’s IV. As they waited, Mondo spoke up.

“It gets easier, but you gotta let people in, alright?”

“Yeah… Thanks.” Mikan arrived, immediately fussing over Hoshi and getting him settled back into bed. You stirred from the noise as Hoshi was reconnected to the heart monitor, blinking tiredly.

“Mm, what's going on?”

“It's okay, (Y/N), I'm alright. Just fixing something, go back to sleep.” You smiled and nodded, still half asleep as you laid back down. You woke up again a few hours later when it was finally morning, sitting up and wincing in pain.

“Hey, morning,” Hoshi said from his bed, eating breakfast from a tray.

“I didn't want to wake you up, even for food, you needed the rest.” You smiled, he seemed… better, somehow.

“I'll grab you something, be right back.” Mondo smiled, Chihiro by his side as he left.

“Did they fix your arm?” Hoshi nodded, holding up a white cast.

“Yeah, hurt pretty bad, but Mikan gave me some pain meds, they help. How are you doing?” You shrugged, rolling your shoulders.

“Better, sorta. Still hurts but… I got to sleep, Ryo. I got to sleep, and not wonder who would be hurt in the morning, or if I’d get woken up with cold water, or be let out of a cage… It's weird.”

Hoshi nodded sadly, turning his head when Gonta yawned, rubbing his eyes.

“Gonta heard talking… are Ryoma and (Y/N) okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine, don't worry. They’re bringing food here in a few, if you're up for it.”

“You better eat, Gonta, you need your strength.” You managed a smile, barely able to keep from drooling when Mondo came back with… pancakes? Bacon? In his hands were two trays with a large spread on them, food you had only dreamed of eating since your capture.

“I'm under orders to make sure you eat this shit slowly, Mikan says your malnourished, you’ll get sick if you inhale it.” You nodded, taking your tray as Gonta was handed his. Chihiro came in, holding a couple of bottles of both water and juice.

“I wasn't sure what you’d like, so I got a few different drinks.”

“Thanks, guys.” You were almost hesitant to eat, waiting for something to happen, some sort of punishment or shouting. But it never came, and you took a careful bite of a pancake. It tasted like heaven on earth, whether that was because of whoever made it or the fact that you had been nearly starved, you didn't know. Still, you forced yourself to go slowly, not wanting to make yourself sick.

“Gonta has never tasted anything so good…”

“We’ve got a guy who cooks for us sometimes when he isn't busy, he makes the best damn food you’ve ever had, trust me. He’s got a restaurant, you should go some time.” The words struck a chord with you, tears prickling faintly at the corners of your eyes. You could go to restaurants now, go anywhere, really.

You were free.

And sure, you and Gonta and Hoshi were all a bit messed up, mentally and physically, and it wasn't going to get better overnight. But without the constant threat of death, of torture? You could heal.

“So, listen. You guys were taken by Yakuza, yeah?” You nodded, confused about where Mondo was going with this.

“We know a Yakuza leader, different from the asshole who you guys were with, he's one of the good guys. He could probably do something to help keep you guys safe after you get out of here, if you wanted.” The room was quiet for a moment, unsure of how to respond. You couldn't fathom the thought of getting involved with more Yakuza, but if Mondo said he was good… you wanted to believe him.

“You trust the guy?” Hoshi asked, equally put off by the idea.

“Entirely, he wouldn't hurt a fly. He can seem a little harsh and shit, but I trust him.” The three of you shared a look, silently agreeing.

“Can we meet with him, then? Here?” Mondo nodded, waving his phone.

“Yeah, he can probably come down today honestly, sound good?” Mondo left the room to make the call, the three of you facing each other.

“I don't like this,” Hoshi said quietly.

“Gonta trusts Mondo, though, he doesn't think Mondo would bring in someone who would hurt (Y/N) or Ryoma.” Hoshi shook his head, fingers of his good hand clenched in the blanket.

“Stay on guard, either way.” You were silent, biting your lip before speaking up.

“Ryoma I think… we have to call the others, too. We’ve been missing for what, months? They’ve probably been looking for us, and… him. We have to tell them.” Before Hoshi could respond, Mondo returned, slipping his phone in his pocket.

“He’s gonna come by later to talk, I gave him the short version of your story, so you don't have to repeat it.”

“Thanks.” You smiled, picking at the remaining food in your lap, not hungry anymore.

“Would, um, would you like to borrow my phone?” Chihiro asked softly, holding it out to you.

“I'll take it, I'll do it,” Hoshi muttered, taking the phone like it would shatter between his fingers.

“Gonta can do it, Ryoma doesn't have to.” Hoshi shook his head, already starting to dial.

“He died because of me, I should be the one to do it.” A hushed, tense silence fell over the quiet room, save for the beeping of various monitors.

“Kirumi? Kirumi, it's Ryoma Hoshi.” You could see how rigid Hoshi went when Kirumi said something back that you couldn't hear.

“We’re… it's a long story, alright? You need to bring everyone here tomorrow, we need to talk. Can I trust you to bring them all? Yeah, Ouma as well, everyone, please. Thank you. I'll text you the address, alright? Okay. I'll tell you when you get here, it's… hard to talk about. Bye.”

Hoshi handed the phone back to Chihiro and stared at his lap as he and Mondo left the room, leaving the three of you alone with one another. “How… How do I tell them that Saihara is dead? Dead because of me.”

You shook your head, shifting around the wires and IV so that you could shakily get out of bed and grab Hoshi’s hand.

“If he's dead because of you, then he's dead because of me and Gonta too. He went looking for all of us, so if we’re gonna blame anyone, it should be all three of us. It's not our fault…” You trailed off, fighting back tears. Saihara had been your friend, and you had watched the life drain out of him through a hole in his skull.

“Gonta thinks it wasn't anyone's fault, except for the man who killed Saihara. He hurt him, Ryoma didn't.” You nodded, going back to your own bed before your weakened legs gave out.

“We’ll tell them together, all three of us. No one blames you, so try not to blame yourself, alright?” Hoshi managed a nod and finally looked up as you fumbled with your blanket. As you did, the sleeve of your hospital gown rode up, revealing a nasty, barely healed scar from the same day that Saihara had died.

Hoshi could almost hear the muffled scream that had followed a cut like that, staring until it disappeared again under the thin fabric. Something like would never go away, not the memories, not the scars. He had almost grown accustomed to death, having seen it so many times, but you and Gonta hadn't until then. Hoshi couldn't fix that, couldn't take that back, just like he couldn't bring Saihara back. He swallowed thickly, reminding himself of what Mondo had said, that putting up walls and hiding behind them wouldn't help any of you heal.

“Hey, guys?”

“Hm? What's wrong?” You replied, concerned.

“If… no, when this is over, do you want to get a dog? Or, a cat, or a pet, or… I don't know, something like that.” The faintest hint of a smile graced Hoshi’s tired features. You couldn't help smiling a bit yourself.

“Yeah, a dog would be nice.”

“Gonta likes dogs, even if they aren't as nice as bugs. He knows that Ryoma and (Y/N) don't like bugs as much as he does, so Gonta is happy with a dog!” Hoshi turned to Gonta, nodding.

“You can have all the bugs you want, I'll get over it, if it makes you happy.”

Your smile widened, thinking about how things could, eventually, get better. “Me too, I don't mind them so much now, so you should have as many as you can.”

Gonta’s smile was enough to make the pain in your body fade, even if for a moment. It was a reminder of before, when the three of you had been happy. Your conversation went on for a while, the most relaxed and at peace you had felt in months now. After a while, you were interrupted by cursing and scuffling behind the closed door, immediately putting all three of you on alert.

“Hey, hands off asshole! I told you, I'm with Oowada! Let us through before I fucking- Peko, no! Put that shit away!” You prepared to get up and run if needed, a glance at Hoshi and Gonta showed them readying for the same fight.

“Guys, it's fine, he's with me! Seriously, they're good, just let em through, okay?” The door opened and Mondo, along with a shorter man and a woman with silver hair, sheathing what looked like a katana, walked in.

“So, this is the guy I mentioned!”

“Fucking hell, you could warn your guys before sending us down a hallway alone, you know?” Mondo rubbed the back of his neck, laughing.

“I can't blame em, I told them not to let a soul through unless I said. So, this is Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, and Peko Pekoyama.” You stared, wide-eyed, at the odd duo as the man, Kuzuryuu, took off his hat.

“I'm the head of the Kuzuryuu clan and all that, Peko is a friend of mine.”

“And bodyguard.”

Kuzuryuu rolled his eyes. “I told you, you don't have to do that shit. Not the point, though. Mondo told me you got caught up in some shit with a branch of Yakuza and needed some help, yeah?”

You nodded, not sure what to say. Hoshi was the first to speak, albeit tersely. “That's the understatement of the year, yeah. How much did Mondo tell you?”

“I know that your Ryoma Hoshi, and I have a pretty good guess as to who did this, and why. I also know that that bastard has been getting more and more ruthless, and you probably shouldn't have gotten out of there in one piece.” You nodded sadly, coughing before speaking up.

“We almost didn't. And we… We were the lucky ones. Our friend, he didn't… he fucking shot him.” You went on, describing the beatings, the cages, the choices all three of you had been forced to make in order to stay alive. Peko and Kuzuryuu remained emotionless, aside from Peko’s tightened grip on the strap of her sword bag.

“After almost killing us, he tossed us in an alley. We were lucky that the Crazy Diamonds found us, and not someone else. At that point… I really thought we were going to die.” Kuzuryuu nodded, running a hand through his short blond hair.

“Fuck… I’d heard rumors about that fucker and the shit he's done, but this… this is a whole other level of fucked up.” He shared a look with Peko, who nodded quickly.

“From now on, you three are under the protection of both the Kuzuryuu clan and the Crazy Diamonds. Between our two groups, no one will touch a fucking hair on your head. This offer is extended for as long as you want it, and if there are others who need it, just tell us.” Your mouth hung open as Kuzuryuu stood, Peko following suit. He held out a hand to Hoshi, who clearly didn't know what to say.

“I… Thank you.” Was all he said, shaking Kuzuryuu’s hand as the blonde smiled.

“Whatever you need, just let me or Mondo know. Bodyguards, a place to stay where you’ll be safe, you’ll have it. You’re honorary members of the clan now, so I'll be seeing you around.” Peko nodded at you and you waved, unsure of what to make of her quite yet.

“Show them out, thanks. Fuyuhiko, thanks for coming.”

“Happy to help, especially after the shit they’ve been through.” Just as they were about to leave, you called after them.

“Wait! Don't… don't you guys have better things to do? I mean, you shouldn't have to worry about me, really.”

“(Y/N), you deserve this after-” Kuzuryuu shook his head before Mondo could finish.

“Trust me, you guys are worth it. Plus, I've wanted to get this fucker off the playing field since I heard about him, he gives us Yakuza a shitty reputation. So don't worry about a thing but feeling better and shit like that, got it?” You nodded and he waved before turning around, leaving with Peko by his side.

“Like he said, you guys need anything, just ask. Even after you leave here, we’ve got your back!” You smiled, a slight warmth in your chest. You still felt like a bit of a burden for Mondo and the others who wanted to help, but it was nice knowing you were under the protection of not one, but two groups. Soon, Mondo left, allowing the three of you to return to chatting. It was the most normal you had felt in a very long time, and before long dinner was being brought to your beds, along with Mikan checking in and seeing how you were doing.

The lights were turned down and you yawned, wishing you weren't hooked up to so many wires so that you could get up and lay down by Gonta or Hoshi. Mikan insisted that you stay connected to the monitors for now, since it had only been a few days since you had started healing.

“I'm sure you're eager to l-leave, but I'd like to see you guys improve a bit first, especially Gonta. His lungs are better but… I'd rather be on the, um, safe side.” You went along with it, not knowing enough to argue. Your friends would be coming tomorrow, regardless, so it was better to stay put, at least until after that. You soon found yourself laying down, barely able to keep your eyes open as you talked with Gonta and Hoshi.

“If you're that tired, go ahead and sleep, it's okay.” You half smiled, exhausted.

“Mm, okay, you guys sleep too, okay? We all need it, especially for tomorrow.” It was easy to drift off, as relaxed as you felt. Maybe it was a bad idea, trusting Mondo and Kuzuryuu and the others to keep you safe, but your mind couldn't take much more fear and panic anymore. Hoshi soon laid down as well, almost ready to go to sleep when Gonta’s voice made him sit up.

“Ryoma?”

“Hmm? What's up, Gonta?”

“Gonta… feels really bad.” Hoshi looked over, noticing the faint glimmer of tears forming in Gonta’s eyes.

“What's wrong? Should we get Mikan or something?” Gonta shook his head, chewing his lip.

“Gonta said horrible things to Ryoma, right after Shuichi…” Hoshi nodded, remembering the call he had gotten from Gonta right after, where he had called him a murderer.

“Gonta didn't mean any of it! They made Gonta say it, and he didn't want to, but he had a gun pointed at him and he… he h-had to call Ryoma such horrible things. Gonta is an awful gentleman, he shouldn't have said-”

“Whoa, shit, hey!” Against his better judgment, Hoshi got out of bed, dragging the pole his IV was connected to as he grabbed a box of tissues and handed them to Gonta.

“They fucking threatened you?” Gonta nodded, taking a tissue and wiping his eyes before the tears could quite spill over.

“Gonta should have fought him, told him he wouldn't say such mean things, especially when they weren't true.” Hoshi shook his head, hand shaking as he reached out to stroke Gonta’s messy hair.

“They would have hurt you, or killed you, you did the right thing, even if you didn't want to. You’ve been a damn good gentleman, Gonta, considering what you were faced with. A lot better than I could have been in your place.”

“Gonta still feels bad, he called Ryoma a murderer… and disgusting. Gonta would never think that way about Ryoma! Ryoma is a good gentleman too, doing all of those things to keep Gonta and (Y/N) safe, even if he had to do horrible things as well.” Hoshi smiled softly, hand cupping Gonta’s cheek as he got ahold of himself. He had forgotten what it was like to touch someone without violence, just hoping to comfort the much larger man.

“Something like that, yeah. I know you didn't mean it, that you wouldn't have said anything like that if you weren't being threatened, so don't worry about it, alright?” Gonta nodded, leaning into Hoshi’s touch slightly until he pulled away.

“Get some sleep, big guy, you need it.”

“Ryoma should sleep too.”

“I will, if you will.” Gonta smiled softly as Hoshi got back into bed, wincing a bit. He still wasn't in the best condition, but every day it was getting a little easier. Before long, all three of you were asleep, but even that came with difficulties.

For hours, you tossed and turned, caught in the all too realistic plane between awake and dreaming. You didn't wake up, no matter how many horrible images plagued you, tangling yourself in your blanket and soaking your hospital gown through with cold sweat. Hoshi and Gonta were no better, a choked sob from Gonta finally waking you up from your nightmares, your memories.

“Gonta? You okay?” All that followed was hitched breathing for a moment.

“Gonta is fine… bad dream.” You nodded, grateful for the pale light of the sunrise starting to come through the windows. It was still early, but not early enough to go back to sleep, even if you wanted to.

“Me too, I kept seeing that fucking man… Gonta, I can still smell him in my dreams…” You trailed off, stomach turning a bit at the memory. It wasn't long before Hoshi woke up as well, jolting a bit before sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“What’re you guys doing up?” He asked quietly.

“Nightmares, mostly. How did you sleep?” Hoshi shook his head, stretching and wincing when he moved his arm the wrong way.

“Not much better, kept seeing things I didn't want to see.” You understood the feeling well, thankfully distracted as Mondo knocked on the door and poked his head inside.

“Hey, Chihiro said you guys were up, you want food or anything?” You knew you needed to eat, but after the nightmares and considering what was soon to come when your friends arrived, you weren't all that interested in food.

“Something small, I guess.” Gonta and Hoshi nodded in agreement and Mondo disappeared, soon returning alongside Ishimaru and Chihiro, each with a tray. You could barely nibble at a piece of toast, mind wandering as conversation carried around you.

How did you tell a room full of people that someone they all cared about had been brutally kidnapped, beaten, and murdered by a Yakuza leader?

How do you tell them that you didn't stop it, didn't save him?

How could you apologize for something like that, when you were sitting right there, still alive?

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” You snapped back to the present, forcing a smile.

“Yeah, just not super hungry, I guess.” You looked over at Hoshi, who hadn't eaten much either. Desperate to change the subject off of yourself, you turned to Chihiro.

“How did you know we had woken up, by the way?” Chihiro smiled and almost bounced to your bedside, showing you his phone.

“I designed a program, with Tsumiki’s help. It monitors your vital signs constantly, and when there's a change, like a quicker heartbeat from waking up, it tells me. I programmed it to be compatible with my other program, Alter Ego, and he can deduce the cause of the change to a certain extent!”

Chihiro went on for a moment about the programming, terms that flew over your head entirely until he noticed he was rambling.

“Oh, u-um, sorry! I really enjoy programming, you probably didn't understand any of that…”

“It's okay, I think it's nice that you enjoy something that you’re so good at.” You smiled, still lost in all of the terminology as Chihiro poked at his phone.

“T-thank you!” His cheeks flushed a soft pink and you couldn't hide your smile.

“Amazing, isn't he? Best damn programmer out there!”

“Agreed, Chihiro, no one could make a program that compares to yours, especially in how little time it took you.” You let the three of them chat, managing to eat a bit more. You gave up eventually, promising Mikan that you would eat more later before she could worry too much. Once the trays were gone and the others had left to do one thing or another, you turned to Hoshi and Gonta.

“They’ll be here soon, huh?” Hoshi nodded, running a hand through his hair, much longer than he usually kept it.

“Yeah, Kirumi said around noon, but who knows.” You went quiet, fiddling with a stray thread on your blanket.

“Gonta is… scared, to tell them. He doesn't want them to have to know, even though he knows they have to.”

“Yeah, me too. But… we’ll just get it over with, and go from there, you know?” Gonta nodded but Hoshi said nothing, drumming his fingers absently on his cast.

“You guys should just let me do all the talking, alright? I got us into this, I should be the one to break the news.” You shook your head quickly, not having it.

“We’re all a part of this, you aren't going to get stuck with all of the burden of telling the story. We lean on each other, so you can start, if you want, but I'm not going to let you be the only one to tell them.”

“Gonta too, he isn't going to let Ryoma be the only one to tell them about Shuichi, what happened isn't Ryoma’s fault.” Hoshi looked like he was about to argue but you shushed him gently.

“It's no one's fault, you didn't pull the trigger, okay? So just… Share the load, alright?” A sad smile made its way onto Hoshi’s face as he nodded, sighing quietly.

“You two make it hard to argue shit, you know that?” You laughed, fighting back a cough that followed.

“That's the point, babe.” As time passed, you got more and more nervous about the conversation, how the others would take the news, what they would do. Saihara was everyone's friend, nobody disliked him, losing him was going to hurt everyone in the room greatly. The man by the door, whose name you hadn't caught, muttered something over a radio before turning to face you.

“The friends you invited are here, alright if I let them in?”

“Last chance to hide under the beds.” You joked dryly, hands shaking as you smoothed the blanket in front of you. You didn't know what else to do as your friends streamed in, one after another, each talking to each other or the three of you.

The room buzzed with more energy than you knew how to deal with and it didn't take long for you to feel overwhelmed as Angie and Kaede swarmed your bed, asking questions you weren't prepared to answer. Finally, Kaito caught on, shouting above the din and getting everyone's attention.

“Guys! Don't scare them, jeez! This is probably a lot for them to deal with all at once, let em talk!” Thankfully, the room quieted down, many people sitting on the edges of beds and others standing. Unsurprisingly, Ouma was the first to break the seal of silence.

“So where exactly were you guys, anyway? Cause you look like total hell, especially you! And where is Saihara-chan?” He pointed at Hoshi, who swallowed thickly. The moments that passed may have been only seconds, but they were weighed down by the knowledge that you didn't know how to share.

“Fuck, I guess… we should start at the beginning, huh?” Taking turns, you, Hoshi, and Gonta told your story, hopefully for the last time. You kept it brief, not wanting to saddle your friends with the images of your torture. Anytime one of you started getting overwhelmed, another took over, glossing over moments best left locked away until you got caught up.

“Wait, so this whole time… you’ve been pretty much almost fucking dying?!” Kaito looked pale, as if he couldn't believe what had happened.

“Um… yeah, more or less.” You said sheepishly, unable to meet anyone's eyes. The room burst into sound once again, questions streaming in one after another until Kirumi spoke up.

“Please refrain from all speaking at once, it can't… be easy to talk about something like this.” You nodded, thankful. Ouma’s voice stood out from the others as he hopped off Gonta’s bed, hands on his hips.

“That's a craaaazy story and all, but you dodged my question. You three are here, but Saihara isn't. So where is he? You didn't even mention him! Unless this is all a lie?” He quirked an eyebrow and you barely refrained from rolling your eyes.

“Was he involved with this somehow?” Maki asked, picking up on your anxiety.

“Atua hasn't said anything about him either… hmm. Maybe he's just been on a vacation to a faraway country!” You shook your head, sparing Hoshi a glance before continuing.

“Saihara… he came to look for us, not long after we disappeared.” Kaito nodded, pacing the room a bit.

“He did say something about a case, he ditched training and stuff a few times for it but never really said much more.”

“Gonta and Ryoma and (Y/N) were the case… Saihara started searching and asking around about them, but Gonta thinks he talked to the wrong person.”

You continued as Kiibo stroked Gonta’s hair comfortingly.

“The men we were involved with, they don't take well to people looking for them… The kidnapped Saihara and brought him to the same building we were in, threatened him, but didn't do much at first.” You trailed off, trying to push away the mental image of Saihara tied to that chair, body slumped forward while he was unconscious. You wished he had stayed that way, hearing him plead for his life at the end had only made it hurt more. Hoshi picked up the story, hand holding the covers with white knuckles.

“They ordered me to kill him. They put a gun in my hand and forced me to kill my friend.” You opened your mouth to argue, Hoshi hadn't been the one to pull the trigger, he hadn't had a choice in the matter anymore. But it was fruitless, Hoshi continuing before you got the chance

“He's gone.” Was all Hoshi said, the room exploding into chaos and questions.

“What do you mean he's gone?!” Kaito yelled above the sound, met with several noises of agreement from the others. No one responded, the room growing heavy with the things they knew, but didn't want to say.

“Saihara is dead. He’s dead, because of me.” Hoshi’s voice was barely audible, but enough people heard it to send the room spinning into shouting and crying. Kaede clasped her hands over her mouth as she realized what had happened, sobbing. Ouma looked ready to hit someone, small hands clenched into fists as he glared daggers into Hoshi, eerily quiet.

The room was buzzing with reactions, some shock, some disbelief, some sad and crying. You didn't know what to do, blindly grabbing Kaede's hand as if it would ease her pain. You didn't bother to wipe away your own tears as they fell, breathing hard to keep from absolutely collapsing into sobs.

“What the fuck, Hoshi?!” Kaito shouted, moving closer than Hoshi would have liked.

“Why did you do it? Why did you fucking kill my best friend goddammit?!” His voice was loud enough to hurt your ears, Kaede squeezing your hand a little tighter.

“Kaito, don't, that's a little-”

“I don't care! He fucking murdered Shuichi! He murdered him and he's here, just fucking fine now!” The argument only escalated as Kaede and a few others tried to calm Kaito down, Hoshi stone-faced and staring at his hand. Finally, Mondo entered the room, groaning at the chaos before raising his voice.

“Hey! Shut up! You guys are screaming loud enough that the entire building can hear you and that shit isn't what they need right now! So either be quiet, or leave!” You were grateful for the interruption as it finally got Kaito to quiet down, at least for a moment.

“And you, you and Gonta. Why the fuck didn't you stop him, huh? You were there too, you could have done something!”

“Gonta’s supposed to be all big and strong right, you couldn't get a gun out of Hoshi’s tiny fucking hands?!” Ouma chimed in from across the room, his voice much more flat than usual.

“Exactly! You didn't stop him, so your just as much at fault here as he is, you fucking killed-”

Your head snapped to look at Hoshi as he finally spoke up.

“Shut the fuck up!” He screamed, louder than you had ever heard him yell. It was almost scary, seeing such rage spread across Hoshi’s features.

“They didn't have a choice to stop me! They would have been killed if they even fucking moved!”

He took a breath but held up a hand when Kaito moved to speak again.

“They gave me a choice. They told me to either kill Saihara or let them get beaten until they could hardly breathe. They couldn't have done a thing to stop it, they got it bad enough as it was. He cut them, and made me fucking watch while they got hurt, because I couldn't go through with it.”

“What? What do you mean?” Kaede asked, still tightly gripping your hand.

“I dropped the damn gun, I couldn't pull the trigger on Saihara. And they still killed him. But Gonta and (Y/N) begged me to just let them get hurt instead, but I couldn't let them go through that. Blame me all you want, hate me forever, that's fine. But you don't get to fucking blame then when they were tied up and hurt and begging me not to choose him.”

Kaito glanced between you and Gonta, noticing how you were in much worse condition, between the scars and bandages, while Hoshi mainly had only his cast as evidence of his pain.

“I don't give a damn what you think about me, cause it's probably true. But don't you dare fucking blame them for his death.” The room went quiet enough to hear a pin drop as Kaito finally relaxed a bit, no longer looking like he was ready to hurt someone.

“Fucking hell… so he's really dead, huh?” Kaito muttered, sitting on the edge of Hoshi’s bed.

“Yeah,” Hoshi responded, finally looking up from his lap.

“I'm sorry about what I said man, you didn't… you didn't deserve that, especially when I didn't mean it.” Hoshi just shrugged, looking around the room.

“Doesn't mean it isn't true, but thanks. The things that happened in there…” Kaito just nodded in understanding as the atmosphere relaxed a bit. Still sad, mourning, but no longer tense with so much anger.

“Are you guys going to be… alright? No offense, but you look like shit.” You laughed softly, running a hand through your hair.

“They think we’ll be okay to leave in a couple of days, if we want to.”

“Gonta isn't sure he wants to go back home anymore… he remembers the house being all messed up from being taken.”

“Yeah, it's… not great. I was staying there between… jobs. It's pretty bad, honestly, I never had the energy to fix shit or clean or anything.” Kirumi looked between the three of you, and then to the others.

“Don't worry about that, we’ll handle anything that needs to be taken care of before you return home.” You met her eyes, as sad as anyone else's over the loss of Saihara, even if she hadn't shown it.

“Are you sure? You don't have to do anything for us, really.” She shook her head, a small smile appearing on her face.

“It's my pleasure, you deserve to have a nice, clean home when you are released from here, and I prefer to keep myself busy in times like this.”

“Me too, I'll help. You guys have been through enough, we want to make it a little easier for you to adjust and get better!” Kaede smiled sadly, and you didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise. It would be nice, not having to fix the wreckage of your kidnapping on your own. Others began to chime in, offering to help with cleaning up, getting groceries, anything you could have needed.

Soon the entire room, even Ouma, was in agreement that they were going to help you back on your feet, no matter what it took.

“Gonta… is very thankful that he has such generous friends.” Gonta sniffled and Himiko patted his head.

“It’ll be easy to fix things up with my magic, as long as I'm able to recharge my mana beforehand…” After that, people streamed in and out of the room, some leaving for the day with things to do, others hanging out a while longer until the sky began to darken. It was nice, albeit a bit overwhelming to be around other people again, people you knew and trust, who wanted to help you. Soon, it was only Kirumi and Kaito left, both getting ready to leave.

“Is it alright if I return tomorrow? I'd like to figure out the best way to go about restoring your home, among other things.” Hoshi nodded, smiling a bit.

“Sure, if you want. Thanks again for helping out, it really means a lot. Especially after what we told you.”

“At moments like this, it's best for people to be together, to overcome their hardships. So, frankly, you’re doing us a favor by allowing us to help. Also, Gonta, your glasses are missing, would you like me to bring you another pair?” Gonta nodded eagerly.

“Gonta would really like that, he hasn't been able to see in… a long time.” You smiled, having almost forgotten that he usually wore glasses. It had been so long since you had had the mental capacity to worry about things like your boyfriend's eyesight, really, it was a miracle he had managed to get by without them this long. Kirumi left after another few minutes, promising to return the next day to make a list of tasks to get done with the house, even when you insisted it wasn't that big of a deal. Kaito stood up to leave, lingering a bit.

“Sorry, again, man. I said some pretty horrible shit to you earlier, I really shouldn't have let my temper go off like that, not cool of me.”

“You just lost someone you cared about, I get it. Someone told me something like that, I probably would have gotten mad too.” Kaito nodded and held out a hand for Hoshi to shake, which he did.

“We’ll get revenge for Shuichi, you know? We’ll make sure the bastards who did this to him, and you guys, pay for this.” Mondo, seemingly already on his way to you, held out his phone to Kaito.

“Looks like someone beat you to it.” He had pulled up an article on his phone from the news, detailing the death and almost meaningful placement of the body of a nearby Yakuza leader. Kaito read the article aloud before showing it to you, a picture making a wave of nausea rise in your chest. It wasn't the violence or death that bothered you, it was the man in the photo.

“That's him…” You muttered, torn between being sick at the sight of the man who tortured you or celebrating his death. You looked to Hoshi and Gonta, who seemed equally tense.

“You didn't hear this shit from me, but Fuyuhiko? He takes care of problems like that guy, when he has to. My guess is you won't have to worry about those fuckers again, not after this.” You just nodded as Kaito left, mentioning he’d be back later. Quickly, you turned to Gonta and Hoshi, a sigh of relief leaving you.

“He's dead… that asshole, he's fucking dead!” You covered your mouth at the sound of your joy, unsure of how to feel.

Mostly, though, you felt relieved. The man who had kept you captive for months, threatened you, beaten you, not to mention what he had done to Gonta and Hoshi, was permanently out of the picture. You no longer had to wonder what he was planning, whether he would come looking for you again, not now.

“Good.” Was all Hoshi said, smiling alongside you. Briefly, the three of you talked about what had happened, about leaving the building soon, about figuring out a way to hold a memorial for Saihara. You had no clue where his body would be anymore, so he couldn't be buried, but surely you could set up something to say goodbye, to thank him for trying to save you. It was easy to fall asleep after such an exhausting, emotional day, laying down and letting your eyes fall closed when you felt you had nothing else to say.

“(Y/N)? Gonta?”

“Mm?” You responded, eyes still shut.

“Love you guys.” His voice was soft, quiet, and you smiled.

“Love you too, Ryo.”

“Gonta loves Ryoma and (Y/N) as well!” You giggled, too tired to even sit up. You drifted off happily, feeling more at peace than you had in quite a while. It didn't last long, however. Just like the night before, nightmares came at you quickly and constantly as you tossed and turned in your bed.

This time, Hoshi was the first to wake from his dreams, startled and gripping the blanket tightly in his good hand. He flexed his fingers, trying in vain to forget what he had seen. His nightmare had been of the day that he had held you and Gonta under the water, pushing you in deeper even as you squirmed and the air bubbles indicating your screams started to stop.

He held you and Gonta under until you were lifeless and even when he pulled you out, you didn't come back. Your chests were still, no matter what he did, you were gone. He woke up after giving up on bringing you back to home, glancing between you and Gonta and watching as you breathed and turned over in your sleep. It was enough of a reassurance that you were alive for him to lay back down, counting your heartbeats on a monitor until he was able to fall back asleep.

It was an ongoing cycle for a couple of hours, one of you waking up from a nightmare where the others died or got hurt, making sure they were okay, and then going back to sleep, only for another nightmare to occur. Mondo, taking a turn on guarding the door, noticed as Gonta woke up for the second time, the faintest sob escaping him as he wiped his eyes and tried to calm himself down.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked, leaving his chair by the door and sitting on the edge of Gonta’s bed.

“Gonta had a nightmare, he’ll… he's okay.” Gonta forced a smile and tried to slow his breathing down a bit, wondering how late it was.

“The others have been as well, they keep waking up and checking on you.” Gonta looked over and noticed the pain in Hoshi’s features as he tossed and turned a bit, you in a similar position. Mondo and Gonta chatted for a moment, passing the time until Gonta felt a bit better. You shot up in your bed, panting and clutching your chest, heartbeat thrumming in your ears. You had had a nightmare about being back in that room, a gun forced into your hands and told to choose between Gonta and Hoshi, kill one or both would die. You could still feel the cold steel against your skin as you returned to reality, quickly looking over at Gonta and Hoshi.

“Hey, did I wake you up?” You asked softly, not wanting to wake Hoshi up as well.

“No, Gonta had a bad dream as well, Mondo was helping him calm down a bit. Is (Y/N) okay?” You nodded, not wanting to worry him any more than necessary.

“I will be, now that I'm awake.” Mondo looked at you curiously, thinking for a moment before getting an idea.

“Here, I want to try something.” You watched with wide eyes as Mondo started pushing Gonta’s hospital bed towards the middle, not stopping until he connected with Hoshi’s bed, startling him awake.

“What's going on?” He muttered, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes.

“Nightmares, again.” You replied, jumping when Mondo started pushing your bed towards Hoshi as well. It took some arranging, between the IV poles and all of the wires, but after a few minutes, your three beds had become one large one.

“Mikan and Taka might kill me for this, but you three need to be able to hold each other when this kinda stuff happens. It helps, trust me.” All three of you exchanged glances, unsure of what to do.

“Let me know if you need anything, ‘kay?” Mondo left the room and you started to scoot closer to Hoshi, mindful of your IV line and his cast. It had been so long since you had been this close to him, without fear, without having to protect him from someone. Still, old habits resurfaced as the three of you cuddled together, overlapping blankets and getting comfortable.

In the end, Gonta had his arms wrapped around you both, Hoshi sandwiched between you gently to keep from making his arm worse. No one needed to speak, just enjoying the familiar contact between each other. You pressed your face against Hoshi’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as you started to fall back asleep. This time, you stayed asleep, the comfort of having both of your boyfriends right there warding off any nightmares.

All three of you slept soundly, relaxed by each other's presence until morning came and hushed whispers caught your attention. You didn't move, barely awake as it was and not wanting to disturb Gonta or Hoshi.

“They needed this, you know? I get that it wasn't great, like, medically, and something could have happened, but Alter Ego would have let us know if something changed.” You recognized Mondo’s voice and the little sigh that followed sounded like Mikan.

“They do look peaceful… Just warn me next time, so I can keep a closer e-eye on them.” You drifted back off, smiling softly. You were too comfortable and safe to care about what time it might have been or the repercussions of moving the beds. All that mattered was that the next time you woke up, it would be wrapped in Gonta’s arms, face buried in Hoshi’s neck. You groaned as someone shifted, not ready to get up.

“Stay.” You whispered, trying to pull Hoshi back to you as he moved to escape Gonta’s hold on him.

“Gotta get up, it's late.”

“Gonta doesn't want to yet, he wants Ryoma to stay for a little longer.” You didn't miss the little huff that Hoshi replied with, but he stopped moving, letting you pull him close. You didn't go back to sleep, just rested, thinking.

It would be a long time before the three of you were okay. Physically, maybe a few weeks, but mentally, you would never be the same.

Fear would creep up on you from seemingly unimportant things, you’d find yourself looking over your shoulder, unwilling to be alone.

You would have scars to last you years, and you would never be the same person that you had been before this happened.

But, cuddled close to Hoshi and Gonta, you could have hope. Hope that someday, you’d be alright, all of you would. Maybe no overnight, maybe not soon, but one day, this would only be your past.

#gonta gokuhara #ryoma hoshi #gontaryoma #commission #mondo oowada #chihiro fujisaki #kaito momota #ndrv3 #Mikan Tsumiki #sdr2 #danganronpa

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cyberstabbing · 7 years ago

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Non AUs/Somewhat Canon

Unequivocal - This is how it would have happened. 38k

Hear Me Out - It’s not so much the turning into a girl that’s a problem; that’s happened before. It’s the fact that Frank doesn’t turn back. 23k

Okay but this … was so much more than I could have hoped for. Definitely raised the bar for everything else.

Ice Cubes And Rubber Bands - “It’s hot.“

”Shut up.“

”It’s so fucking hot and I’m melting.“

“You’ve said that like fifty fucking times in a row now shut the fuck up and stop whining!” Frank grits through his teeth, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“It’s not my fault that we are stranded here in the middle of fucking nowhere, Frank”, Gerard says, a bitchy undertone in his voice. It almost sounds like he’s trying to pick a fight. Frank takes a deep breath and closes his eyes; it’s too fucking hot to deal with Gerard’s allures right now. 7k (if you include part two)

Breakdown on the L.I.E. - Frank jerked awake when his dream was interrupted by a squealing banshee, which turned out to be the van grinding and squealing to a halt. 6k

every man - “I won't—we’re a band, Marc,” Gee says, “I’m not—shit. I’m not the girl who stays home.” 1k

with the lights on - Frank is weirdly chivalrous in some ways. He always opens doors for her, he lights her cigarettes like he’s in a forties movie or something, and he always offers her the last seat, even if it means that he has to sit on the floor. 10k

Sparkle Motion - For the next week, Gerard woke up every morning to a new list of Words that Describe how Gerard is In Bed pinned on the fridge. It disappeared after one of them wrote, ‘Sparkle Motion’ because, Bob explained to Gerard, they felt they’d nailed Gerard’s essence with that one. 6k

A Natural Reaction to Rough-housing - He made it to the bathroom and stood there leaning heavily on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look like a creepy sadist. But neither did Christian Bale, and that hadn’t ended well for anybody. 27k

Sweet Caffeine (and Love of Liberace) - In which Brian tasered them into it, Gerard read too many comic books as a kid, Jamia isn’t worried about anything, and Bob doesn’t wear a codpiece. 4k

Now Honey, Don’t You Cry - Frank has always had an irrational fear of thunder, but when it causes a breakdown beyond that of ‘irrational,’ Gerard vows to find the truth. 6k

Pavlov’s Dog - It’s during one of their coveted hotel nights that Frank finally has enough. 1k

Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k

(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)

James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k

(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)

Whatever I Want (Whatever That Is) - The first time Frank walked in on Gerard going down a girl in the dressing room, he was pissed. 9k

Distance in the Afterlife - Gerard comes out. 15k

The One Where Ray Can Hear Sex Dreams - I’m really sorry, Mr. Toro. But I didn’t make you have sex with anyone, as per your request. 2k

Heart On - From early days touring in vans to Projekt Revolution, the tour crew swears that they’re not homophobic, they just don’t want to see that shit. Frank takes it as a personal challenge. 13k

I died laughing like 17 times.

Just A Spoonful - It’s actually something of a relief when Frank walks onto the bus to find Gerard learning how to sabotage a car. It’s better than the last time, anyway, when he was trying to snort coke through a rolled-up condom wrapper. Or the time before, when he was passed out in a pile of glass shards. All things considered, wrecking random cars would be a step up for him. 1k

When I Think About You (I Touch Myself) - Van!era bodyswap. Gerard is a narcissist. 2k

You’re so cute when you’re slurring your speech - If this is what Frank wants, then fuck it. Just fucking fuck it. Frank can have it.(Or, Frank wants to bone Gerard. So he does. A lot.) 8k

Ride - This is the coolest place the band has ever stayed at. 15k

jerseymisery wrote this description: okay this is an ULTRA FAVE!! the whole fic has such a dreamlike sort of quality to it? it gives me such great vibes of like summer and transience and SHIT LIKE THAT.. it’s set during bullets i’m pretty sure which is. COOL. it just feels like a snapshot, a moment in time.. i really like it. go read it! it’s frank x gerard and mikey x an oc.

ierohero's write-up: https://ierohero.tumblr.com/post/188897569757/im-reading-ride-again-theres-literally-no

Link to author (they also wrote some fics below)

Sick - It was sort of sick, since Frank was, like, younger than his little brother, but Gerard had wanted to kiss him from the very first second he saw him standing up on stage and smirking into the microphone.

“Who’s that?” he asked Mikey.“That’s Frank,” Mikey whispered back, like it was some big secret or something, hissing the words into Gerard’s ear. “That’s the guy I want you to meet.”

“Figures,” Gerard muttered. It just fuckin’ figured that the first guy he’d wanted to fuck in, like, a semester would be the one Mikey wanted for the band. 5k

Broke - Frank is sick. A companion piece to Sick. 5k

Fucked Up - It’s hard to describe the multitude of ways in which Frankie is fucked up, although Gerard keeps trying. He lies in his bunk at night listening to the other members of the band breathing, soft radiator hisses, the occasional snore, and tries to enumerate to himself what’s wrong with Frankie. He thinks that maybe if he can figure out what the problem is, he can fix it. He’s always been sort of an optimist. 1k

Reasons We Don’t - “Why don’t we fuck?” Frank asks, tipping his head back to blow smoke at the sky. 7k

subterfuge of tiny proportions - It usually takes Gerard hours to wind down from a show. He has this crazy wired look in his eyes when they come offstage, all sweaty and flushed and jittery. He touches people more, talks a little louder, a little faster. Even now, even after all this time, it still gets to him. The nervous energy, the screams of the crowd, the music. Frank watches him every night, because when he is like that, he’s beautiful. And because when the stage buzz wears off, he crashes, hard and fast. 1k

He Told Me I Could Never Go Back - Everything was fine until Frank disappeared. 2k

this broke my heart.

Up Against Your Will (HERE is the chapter index) - Stepping into a world so different from their own, Frank and Gerard struggle to survive. 18 chapters

this was amazing, but also hard to read in some parts, bc of the non con and gore :/ not my cup of tea, but I did love the word building and the fic overall.

When I Was a Little Girl - Frank is a dyke. Period. She doesn't like boys. At all. But if you squint (or you're drunk enough) sometimes Gerard totally looks like a girl. 26k

Silken - Gerard can't help but notice the way Frank bites his lip and shifts in his seat when an interviewer brings up his day in drag. Frank's almost normal when he nudges Gerard with his shoulder, raising his hands in the air and laughing, "Oh, yeah. Man, you should have seen him - like Christina Ricci, you know?" but Gerard can still see the imprint of his teeth on his lower lip and files that away while he relates the story about how the conductor was really nice to him and how he'd managed figure out how to sit without crushing anything vital by the end of the day. <1k

Pushy Little Fuck - "Anyone ever tell you, Iero, that you're a pushy little fuck?" Gerard says, rearranging Frank against his side.

Frank just grins at him and says, "S'my middle name." Frank Pushy Little Fuck Iero. There's a song in there somewhere. 1k

The Kind They'd Like to Flaunt - When Frank first meets Gee, officially, it's because Ray saw Frank from across the room and put him into a headlock to get him over to his booth. 1k

How Dirty Boys Get Clean - Gerard stinks. Frank convinces him that bath time can be such fun. 1k i think?? maybe 2k

Under My Skin - "Maybe," Gerard had said one night, scratching idly at Frank's scalp, "it was something you ate?" "Maybe," Ray said, "it was some kind of sex pollen." Frank growled and said, "maybe if you don't shut up right now I'm going to kick your ass." 1k

Body of a Venus (lord, imagine my surprise) - Gerard is dressed like a girl and decides to pay Frank a visit. 1k

Never Looked Better And You Can’t Stand It - For once, Frank is the self-conscious one. 1k

In the Dark - The problem wasn’t that Gerard was stupid; the problem was that he wasn’t always the most observant guy around. Sometimes he just misses things that maybe he should have noticed. He hadn’t thought anything of it the first time Frank had pushed his hands out from under his shirt and said, “I’d rather touch you.”

(Or the one where chubby!Frank is really self-conscious and avoids having sex with Gerard with the lights on.) 2k

Jane Doe - Frank meets a mystery girl at a party. When she turns out to be not such a mystery (and not such a girl), he’s forced to make some hard choices. Set in fall 2000. This isn’t an AU, but some details have been changed. 9 chapters

This fic, man… this fic… An amazing read (though unfinished). Really shows how unbalanced affection and care can be, and leaves you uncertain yet hopeful for their relationship. Here’s an excerpt:

”The heat’s on as high as it goes,“ Gerard said, glancing over with concern. Frank wondered if Gerard would have noticed his trembling if they hadn’t been making out feverishly just a few hours beforehand.

Edit 22/10/2019: I just found out there was a ninth chapter?? Holy shit okay lets go.

Moonlight Model - Frank's a photographer. Gerard's a model. Only not really. 1k

Pack - Frank's a very playful werewolf. 1k

I Wish I Were A Ghost - Halloween is Frank Iero's birthday. It's also the day when the veil between the world of the living and the dead is at it's thinnest.

A ghost-story. Short and sweet. 1k

Immutable - Frank and Gerard are sitting in bed, talking about frank's tattoos, and it's beautiful. 1k

Curl - Gerard finds Frank tied to the seatbelt in the back of their tour van. Sexytimes ensue. 2k

no sleep - Gerard looked terrible, hollow-eyed and sweaty, and it was still only just after midnight. <1k

the second time the band saves gerard's life - soberty fic. 1k

Half the Battle - People tend to assume Gerard is an alpha. Frank knows better. 1k

Afresh - As much as Frank tells him there's never been a time he didn't love Gerard, Gerard knows Frank definitely doesn't miss the days when he could sometimes smell him from the other room. 1k

Just Because - By the time Gerard asked Frank to join the band, the only answer Frank had left for him was yes. 4k

Holding Out For An Iero - When Frank gets his chestpiece, he doesn't have sex for a week. 5k

An Inexplicable Occurrence of Angels - 35k

This was on my Fics-I-Can’t-Find-list, and since this one doesn’t have a description, I’ll just paste in what I could remember from reading it last year:

My Chem (minus Frank) broke up after Revenge. One day Frank kinda shows up (can't remember how). Frank's an angel with big wings and is hopelessly clueless about the world, so the rest or My Chem have to help him. They take him on walks and it looks like he has a hunchback bc of his wings. I think Frank doesn't even know any words in the beginning, but he learns english quickly. Loves watching movies. Everyone in My Chem basically crash at ray's place bc of Frank. And they're all Hey... maybe we should pick up the band again...?

UPDATE: okay i just reread it and it’s sooooo good holy shit. especially the last chapter. there was a comment on AO3 about how they would come back and reread the last chapter over and over again because it made them so happy. that’s probably what i’m gonna do from now on.

A Necessary Requirement - description by jerseymisery ... i think: it’s like a warped tour fic i believe, god it’s so fucking funny, the dialogue is gr8.. basically the whole fic is frank wanting to know what gerard’s dick looks like okay dhgvjsdghg. 3k

Twenty Percent Down - We're rock stars," Frank says firmly. "We're not moving back to live in our parents' basements." 7k

House hunting!

"What's your credit rating like?" he pants out. "I - what?" Gerard stops mouthing Frank's skin and lifts his head up. ^ Never fails to crack me up.

One Hundred Percent - (Almost. Maybe.) - Frank sighed. "I'm playing tonight," he said, firmly. "It is a fucking sore throat. Luckily, I am not the lead singer. I can play my fucking guitar with a sore throat. I can play it with my eyes closed. I am fine." (11,400 words of, you know, Frank being sick. A LOT.) 11k

Raspberry Swirl - The time that the whole band woke up as girls was maybe the weirdest. 16k

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

Ship(s): Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read.

Update because I need to add some things: Listen! Words can not express how obsessed with this fic I am. I made a mixtape for it. Fanart. Currently working on a ebook version of it so I can print it out. Guys. You do not understand how fucking fantastic this fic is. Don’t scroll away from me, I’m serious! Fucking click the link dammit. Click it. C’mon. I’m waiting–click iiiiit. You back yet? Yeah? What did I tell you! I know, it is amazing! You okay? Got tissues? Good. Okay now go wash your face and eat a snack. No, no, no need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine.

Any Way You Want - Gee Way is fronting early MCR when Frank spots them in a shitty bar and immediately finds himself immersed in the energy of the music; not to mention the addictive personality of the lead singer. 18k

Sucker Bet - Since Frank's currently got a sloppy handful of Gerard's hard-and-getting-harder cock, oops kinda seems like an understatement. But Frank's a practical kinda guy. 2k

A Helping Hand - Frank just wants to be able to jerk off. He doesn't think that's too much to ask. 6k

Frank the Failiest Vampire - Frank's a vampire, and he's finally ready to let the world know. 0.9

a not!fic

Three Sharp Bites - When Frank had imagined the joy of finally finding a helpless thrall who would tilt back his neck for him, displaying the jugular with a undertone of love and utter submission, he didn't really expect it to include the joy of being bent almost in two while his mate fucked the living shit out of him. 0.7k

part two of Frank the Failiest Vampire. This isn’t a not!fic though.

Fantasy Book - This was really, really not normal behavior for Gerard - not for real, normal Gerard, and it was even a little abrupt for the imaginary Gerard who lived in Frank's head and came out during his Special Alone Times with his dick. 16k

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

Incredibly painful but worth a read. Or ten. One-sided Frank/Gerard.

second word, one syllable - Prompt #60. Frank loses his voice and has to use notes, texts, charades, etc. to communicate. 4k

More Than He Can Say - Frank doesn't know what it is about tonight. 2k

I've Got Friends in Closed Spaces - Written for the no_tags challenge for the prompt of 'accidental frottage.' Set in the middle of a tour, vaguely 2004. 4k

it’s the hide-and-seek fic! i’ve been looking for this for an eternity.

First Class - Gerard is totally disturbed, because he's sort of obsessed with making Frank drool. 1.6k

Party Games (Eureka!) - Gerard has awesome ideas. 2k

MCR: untitled no.1 - Gerard plays piano in the loosest sense of the word - plays, with fingers stuttering a little in the air above the white keys and even more over the black ones; body hunched over and shoulders tucked in as soft lines form between his eyebrows. Zero-point-something k.

and here’s another piano drabble by the same author!

just like it was - Basically, I had this really urgent desire to write about Gerard's high school reunion. <1k

love on the webways - As a writer, Grant supposes he could have considerably worse habits than trolling his own message boards.

A totally ridiculous AU vaguely inspired by You've Got Mail. 32k Grant/Gerard

This was so fun to read! It’s a what-if-they-broke-up-after-tbp fic btw.

you weaseled your way into my heart (and ferreted out my feelings) - You gotta watch out for those bands with umlauts. 5k

Reverberation - Frank feels like he just fell off the stage, staggered directly from the lights and out into the long hallway backstage, tipping over into the momentary quiet. 1.5k

Not a Pretty Girl - 28k

Gen. Always-been-a-girl fic featuring kick ass female drummer, Bob Bryar. The story is a series of shorter fics all about her life before MCR, growing up as a woman in the Chicago scene, touring with The Used, joining MCR and everything that comes with that. It's awesome. + art!

I Am a Patient Boy - So this is an AU about Gerard being a girl named Helen (after her...grandmother?) and Frank being sort of, head over heels. 5k

“He goes to the next show alone. It’s in this basement club, red-lit and smoky. Frank stands on a chair at the back of the room. Over everyone’s head so he can get a good look.”

This fic follows Frank as he leaves Pencey Prep and joins My Chem in 2001. The author changed a lot of details though, so I recommend thinking of it as an AU in how the band formed. Unless you want to yell at your screen at 1am for it getting the timeline wrong (like I did).

Not Smashing Windows - In the beginning, they were the scene. An origin story. 32k

From Gabe’s POV, and it’s done flawlessly. It somehow emulates the same feeling one gets from stumbling across an overlooked short film at three a.m. on youtube. The one you can’t help but wonder about, how it is that you’ve never heard about it before. Like it is in its own bubble of existence. Feeling afraid to even breathe or look away, afraid that it’ll disappear at any time, that it was too good to be true. Something you shouldn’t be able to hold in your hands. This fic feels incredibly personal to read. Gabe’s longings of intimacy, the hopelessness at parts. I could feel my fondness for the characters grow enormously in this fic. The wording and conversations and scenes paint a brilliant picture that will stay with you for a long time. I know it will for me at least. Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

For a Different View - AU. Ray Toro is a girl, Rae, but MCR is still just MCR. 49k

The first time they went over to Mikey's house, Mikey tossed her a beer and said, "My brother might come up. Maybe not, though. He gets weird in the middle of projects." She found out what he meant halfway through Dawn of the Dead, when a bundle of black fabric barreled from the basement door to the refrigerator and back down to the basement without saying a word to either of them.

I need to finish this!!! But –gah. Such awesome awesomeness. Ship: Ray/Mikey

Double Exposure - “The worst part was the confession. Well, the explanation sucked too.” Written for prompt 38. Frank/Mikey - Frank and Mikey bodyswap during tour and have to play shows as each other. 2.5k

Frank isn’t part italian in this fic. He’s part alien! :D Ship: Frank/Mikey

Anti-Sex (It Comes Around remix) - The first time Frank ever really talked to Mikey's brother it was at a house party somewhere in the shitty part of the Oranges. Before that, Gerard was just Mikey's weird older brother. In Frank's mind, their interactions were always relative to Mikey, spinning out from him, Mikey first, Gerard a trailing but connected afterthought. At that party, though, Mikey's brother was a little buzzed and cheerful with it, talking with a charisma and charm Frank hadn't seen before.

Here’s a v 2018 relevant part: “Hey, you bring me my voter's registration, I swear I'll turn it in." "You're not even registered to vote?" Gerard said, and brought a hand up to run his pinky across his eyebrow like it was all just too much, and Frank laughed.

Crooked Crown - There's always a voice in the back of Frank's head, tiny and barely registering after years of shrugging it off, but still present nonetheless. It says things like, this is a bad idea, and it's satisfying now, but there'll be consequences later. Or, this is the line and you're about to cross it. Someone had once said that Frank had no conscience, which wasn't true because hi, voice in his head. He totally did have a conscience - it was just that he wasn't much of a slave to it.

In any case, the voice dampens out even quicker than usual this time and he's then free to scribble 'BALLS' in Sharpie over each page of Gerard's brand new issue of Hellboy before stuffing it back underneath the seat to be discovered later on. 4k

“The next day they're in Austin, and it feels like an armpit. Mikey walks around with his fingers splayed out, trying to prevent any part of his body from touching another”

^ Ah Mikey, never stop being so relatable. Anyway, this was hilarious. I love how petty both of them were. Poor Ray with his head in his hands!

Rappelling Down Mount Vesuvius - 1k | Gen

I love reading little snippets of their lives like this. Just the right amount of fluff and backstory for something bittersweet and hopeful.

down to the water - Things were better than they were a month ago, hell, a week ago, but that wasn't saying much. A week ago, Gee was stumbling drunk on a stage in Japan and puking so much Frank had honestly been afraid she was going to die. So, while her over-caffeinated, white-faced sobriety of today was a welcome change, Frank still felt like they were all on the edge of disaster, that everything they'd worked so hard for could still collapse around them. 10k

New Rule - Pitch-black basement sex. 2k

Frank is jammed in between Gerard and the wall. He made Gerard check the entire basement for spiders before they turned off the crazy-bright fluorescent strip light, but he’s still wrapped himself up in the blankets like a burrito, jamming the edges under his body until he’s fucking airtight. “If you stretch you’ll pull the blankets out,” he says, muffled because his face is pressed under Gerard’s chin. “And then the spiders will get in, and then I’ll have to kill you.”

Oooh nooo, they have to share the bed. [cackles loudly]

Kiss The Bottle - A drunk wizard slips Frank a love potion while the band is in between tour dates. Chaos and mischief ensues. 35k

An impeccable casting of the wizard, I must say. lol

Don't Fear the Reaper - Gerard's not the greatest with faces but there's one that keeps crossing his path that he can't ignore. 4k

THE SCENE IS DEAD - 20k

Can’t remember who wrote this description (it’s on my to-do list) (was it disenchanted?) but THEY PUT IT INTO WORDS: “I don't know how to begin to describe this one... It's written in an unusual format - ie. a lot of it is told through newspaper articles and webpages but it's one of those super haunting fics that stays with you for days. I don't think there are any triggers listed so be warned there are character deaths and supernatural stuff.”

And I really don’t have more to add. I don’t even want to say anything more because honestly for this fic, the less you know the better. For me the experience of reading it was made a hundred times better just by the emotional rollercoasters I was put through. Lol. Trying to figure out what was going on/going to happen next was really fun.

Candy Cane Vodka - "Yeah, Mikey, you accidentally made fucking peppermint Everclear. Congratulations and all, but Jesus Christ."

Mikey gets an idea on the road after finding a bargain bin book on homemade infusions. Experimentation follows, and Yuletide chaos ensues.

ngl... i’m tempted to make that vodka mixture

Ships: Mikey/Ray, Frank/Gerard

#frerard #frerard fic #frank/gerard #rec list

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