#will consider suicide as an (absolutely rational! he has arguments!) option meanwhile Crowley's like NO ANGEL THAT'S NOT FUCKING NORMAL
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#I love angst as much as any other person but I feel like people lean too hard into CROWLEY WANT TO KILL HIMSELF WITH HOLY WATER BECAUSE#AZIRAPHALE LEFT#because first: Crowley never showed any suicidal intentions in canon#ever#whole holy water fight was *because* Aziraphale was absolutely baselessly scared that Crowley will hurt himself and Crowley just couldn't#get it and even attempt to calm him down#like sleep or drink or run away? ok#I prefer to think that Crowley will work in averting the second coming but I get it#functional and capable Crowley is not everyone's cup of tea#but also second: Crowley dying from holy water is literally Aziraphale's biggest (semi)irrational fear we saw in canon#like his reaction was overblown in a way we only saw when he dealt with literal apocalypse#Crowley's perfectly aware of this#and this...this not only shows Crowley a) suddenly losing all his optimism b) leaving earth and humans on their own c) leaving Aziraphale on#his own#it's also shows him cruel. not on petty 'dance a little dance for me' level. not on sending nazis to hell level. on the 'let's deliberately#hurt person that deeply loves me (and that I deeply love too) in most cruel and inreparable way'#I can't stress it enough — *intentionally*. burdening him with it *forever*#like. even if you imagine that Crowley *is* stupid enough to not get that Aziraphale was afraid of giving him holy water *because* he's#scared shitless of him dying (and also dying specifically because of him)#he still should get that Aziraphale cares for him in some capacity (I'm not talking about people that makes Crowley cry 'Aziraphale never#loved me at all' because those people saw some other series)#Crowley should understand that him killing himself would absolutely destroy Aziraphale#and I can't wrap my mind around it. like. Crowley won't hurt Aziraphale. not in that way.#again don't get me wrong you can write ooc fics all you want it's just...when some kind of trope gets so popular you start to question what#part of character's character made you accept this as valid and highly accepted interpretation#like I don't like slutty subby Crowley in fics but I get it he looks good in tight jeans and simps hard for Aziraphale. with this tho??#I'm absolutely lost it looks like whole other character for me#sidebote: would absolutely read good IC fic/hc about Crowley being suicidal/attempting suicide. but in my heart Aziraphale is the one that#will consider suicide as an (absolutely rational! he has arguments!) option meanwhile Crowley's like NO ANGEL THAT'S NOT FUCKING NORMAL
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