#why was this the worst case of comphet i've ever seen in my fucking life

[lotus-pear]

finally finished nana and i fear i will never be able to emotionally recover

[transbakerswife]

Trivender au headcanon masterlist

Trina Mora: first of all her last name comes from a sims 4 falsettos game file i hsve where i just tried to randomize her a last name and this is what i got. She's bisexual and has depression i don't think anyone ever doubted that. Also a lot more chaotic in this au than canon? That's just the effect Lavender has on her ig.

Lavender Baker: MY LOVE!! I already explained her name's origin in the pinned post. Like my url implies she's trans and she's also bisexual. Girlboss. Polyamorous but thankfully no longer a cheater we don't talk about that storyline in the original. It didn't happen. How did she get pregnant if she's trans you may ask? I don't fucking know how did Cinderella talk to a tree by that logic. There's no logic in the itw universe <3

Baker Baker: he's a baker if you couldn't guess. Transmasc bisexual wet cat of a man. Malewife. Left handed. Severely traumatized. Daddy issues. Also both him and his wife are jewish, naturally.

Bread Baker: Baker and Lavender's child. His name is Bread. I don't have much to say about him.

Jack: gay gay homosexual gay. Autism. Zero braincells whatsoever.

Little red riding hood: non binary icon 😌. because i said so. Also lesbian. You can't tell me what to do. Also autism but a different genre of autism than Jack.

Cinderella: also a lesbian with the worst case of comphet I've ever seen.

Milky white: bigender icon.

Marvin Gardens: just my regular headcanons for any incarnation of him. ADHD, bpd, being a weatherman. Controversally i did go with the Gardens last name. I'm sorry.

Whizzer Brown: autism, and demiromanticism. Also photographer Whizzer since everyone seems to love this headcanon. And he's from Omaha Nebraska just for the fun of it. He and Marvin have two cats btw he bought both of them which Marvin initially didn't approve of but accepted later on. They're named Chess and Racquet because I'm uncreative.

Mendel fucking Weisenbachfeld: BISEXUAL!! Bi Mendel real!! He canonically didn't earn his diploma in this one 0/10 worst psychiatrist ever

Mr Bungee: not actually homophobic, he himself is gay, but he is a capitalist. Cis white rich gay man. He's also an absolute loser. Frogs.

Jason Gardens: I'm so sorry for making him get the gardens name too. AUTISTIC as hell also aromantic and possibly aplatonic i'm projecting too hard probably. Jack, Red, Cinderella and Bread all count as his siblings and i would love to make content of these kids in the future

Charlotte and Cordelia: idk how exactly they fit into the au except Trina definitely did talk to them first thing when having her sexuality crisis. Charlotte probably has anxiety idk. And some level of non binary.

The witch/Luna: lesbian. But also arospec. And asexual possibly. And autistic now that i think about it. One look at the baker's father was what made her realize she's not attracted to men. She's mostly just done with everyone's bullshit. Her name is Luna i don't know why i decided that. This is my au so my rules. She somehow ends up dating Dot i have no clue how that happens.

Dot: local she/they. Token neurotypical. Some flavor of queer. Idk how she became part of the story. Louis the baker she dated is not the same baker as Baker Baker our local baker, they're actually rivals since they work in the same business.

George Seurat: JUST TO CLARIFY I'm talking about the musical version i wouldn't make headcanons for a real life person!! Autistic. He/she pronouns (don't ask just don't.) doggirl in the same way catgirls are catgirls. As I'm writing this I'm regretting all my life choices.