#why the fuck isn't it november the 10th yet

[horce-divorce]

bad times y'all....

so I have 2 more days of antibiotics and I still have not found a dentist who will take me. I mean, I did get one to schedule me for a consult... on November 10th... Everyone else is booked out until December at best.

I called at least a dozen places before one secretary let something VERY INTERESTING slip... She told me as long as I'm calling on my own behalf I'm always gonna get put on cancellation lists. She said they sometimes will take emergencies as a fucking favor for places that refer to them a lot, but that it has to be the office calling on your behalf.

I have a lot I could say about that. Do you know how often I've heard "ohh why doesn't anyone like the dentist, poor little dentists, everyone's too scared to go, they must just hate me, the dentist!" And yet here I am fighting so hard to get into the fucking dentist and they're all like "ummmmmmmm idk......" I'm very angry.

And anyway, even if I CAN get someone to see me sooner than November 10th, I found out this morning while on the phone... my dad has COVID.

I know we've been very lucky to not have it in the house before now. I knew it was only a matter of time. But what the fuck.

I'm currently negative, but this is house is super tiny and there's literally no way we can avoid each other's germs the whole time, and with me already having an infection and being generally in poorer health bc I haven't been eating well, I just. Yeah. Tbh I'm more worried for the cats bc they also have health issues. Blue has serious existing respiratory problems and she's the one that's always on dad's lap whenever he's home, and Frankie has been coughing...

We were supposed to do a Halloween party for my cousins next week :( I'm supposed to be able to get help when I have a fucking infection in my bones. They're supposed to be someone who can take my teeth when they're hurting me. There's supposed to be someone who cares when you go to the doctor and you say help, help, it hurts, I can't live like this. They're not supposed to say "that isn't my problem, good luck fighting it the old fashioned way." what fucking century is this. where's that post about Americans having absolutely no mercy. What does it do to us to live this way

[stellarhistoria]

i'm going to put them on their documents, but here's my muses' birthdays in order of alphabet. or muse strength. we'll see by who i start with.

Alcaeus & Calliope (twins): October 13th [born on a Friday]

Alexios Ambrosi: August 1st

Aqua: August 1st

Ariel Ashwind: January 10th

Aryin Ashland: May 15th

Avarice / Sashan: October 10th

Bosun: long since stopped keeping track of her age, but it would be equated to the winter solstice.

Cloud Strife: August 11th

Darius Libra / Info Broker: The date that the concept of information/knowledge was founded. Long before humanity arrived. Ancient, ageless, still quite young for a realm god. [TL;DR: Unknown, as the date of the first oral story ever presented is not known to us yet.]

Diluc Ragnvindr: April 30th

Eerie Telos: October 21st

Hatter Hawthorne: February 6th

Grimm Armonus: December 1st

Il Dottore: [canon isnt real fuck it we ball] August 10th

Kairos Serif: April 1st

Kalen Izunia: April 30th

King / Arverni: The calendar isn't the same. He doesn't know.

King Moroz Cytos: it doesnt matter really

Kris Dreemurr: October 31st

Legato Bluesummers: [NO CANON WE DIE LIKE MEN] November 16th

Luka Highwind: December 31st

Magari Fantasy: September 31st

Manny: Unknown, or perhaps known by only a select few. The date seems to change every year, almost because he's bored, but the few who know always get the right date and try to make it a good day for him.

Mitsuno Sora: March 28th

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: [theres no canon birthday so] January 30th

Orlain Orthos: March 15th

Ozymandias: Born during such a long time ago that the calendars would match no given date for him. He doesn't even know what or when his own birthday is anymore.

Quinn Zhu: Known only by a select few. The date he always gives to the rest of society is June 9th. And you KNOW why he does that.

Raphael Aetos: December 20th

Rath Frei-Lynn: October 10th

Roxas Caelum: May 1st

Saros Gaster: June 25th

Seven of Hearts: November 15th

Zachary Highwind: August 8th

[marlowe1-blog]

The Book of Job Chapter 10

You made me to break me

Now, I don't want to be too self-referential in these posts. This is the Book of Job after all and it is one of the most misunderstood books in the world literature canon, so adding my own personal anecdotes makes things feel amateurish. The college professor who always marked me down for my papers on Horace's Odes because I always included personal stuff haunts me to this day. Especially when I agree with him to a certain extent. Or more accurately I agreed with him wholeheartedly when I tried to listen to a Sarah Vowell book about the pilgrims and learned absolutely nothing about the pilgrims but learned a great deal about Sarah Vowell, way more than i ever wanted to know about Sarah Vowell.

But the line from this second part of Job's response to his friend that is now a response to G-d that goes "Does it benefit you to defraud , to despise the toil of your hands, while smiling on the counsel of the wicked?" (verse 3) that gets to me this week because I was again in the crosshairs of the Facebook AI. Apparently Facebook has fired most of its standards people (including the one friend that I had who worked at Facebook) so my week long ban stuck.

And the weeklong ban was for a meme that gets shared all over Facebook, especially on the Ides of March - the one that goes "Whoever made September, October and November the 9th, 10th and 11th month should be stabbed." Because it promotes violence. Against Julius Fucking Caesar. And again, I'd be ok with that if this was a fucking sensible rule but it's not. How do I know it's not? Because I repeatedly make complaints against Nazis, conspiracy theorists, racists and transphobes on Facebook and then get the gaslighting "this isn't against Facebook standards"

Yes, G-d is arbitrary and shitty and lets the wicked prosper and the virtuous suffer. I expect better from Facebook standards. If other media companies can cancel Andrew Taint while G-d takes his only sweet time with that tumor, you'd think that Facebook would deal with the shitbags. But yeah, Facebook was complicit in the Myanmar genocide.

So what's the rest of this chapter. It's still pretty dark but it's also one of the ultimate "fuck you G-d" chapters where Job talks about being created and risen up just so he can get smashed. And he's actually asking why G-d would make this a thing. Job knows that he's innocent (and as a reader, we know that Job is innocent. Thank you, Satan). Yet, does Job's innocence help him? No.

And then we end with another "if only I was never born" verse. I just wonder if we would hear this verse a lot more if the anti-forced birth movement was full of religious fanatics and the forced birth assholes did not selectively quote the Bible.

[pauvremelodynelson-blog]

Thomas Adès - The Tempest, Act I: Five Fathoms Deep