#why does my head have so many ideas this isn't healthy

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Marshmallow Longtermism

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this week!

My latest column for Locus Magazine is "Marshmallow Longtermism"; it's a reflection on how conservatives self-mythologize as the standards-bearers for deferred gratification and making hard trade-offs, but are utterly lacking in these traits when it comes to climate change and inequality:

https://locusmag.com/2024/09/cory-doctorow-marshmallow-longtermism/

Conservatives often root our societal ills in a childish impatience, and cast themselves as wise adults who understand that "you can't get something for nothing." Think here of the memes about lazy kids who would rather spend on avocado toast and fancy third-wave coffee rather than paying off their student loans. In this framing, poverty is a consequence of immaturity. To be a functional adult is to be sober in all things: not only does a grownup limit their intoxicant intake to head off hangovers, they also go to the gym to prevent future health problems, they save their discretionary income to cover a down-payment and student loans.

This isn't asceticism, though: it's a mature decision to delay gratification. Avocado toast is a reward for a life well-lived: once you've paid off your mortgage and put your kid through college, then you can have that oat-milk latte. This is just "sound reasoning": every day you fail to pay off your student loan represents another day of compounding interest. Pay off the loan first, and you'll save many avo toasts' worth of interest and your net toast consumption can go way, way up.

Cleaving the world into the patient (the mature, the adult, the wise) and the impatient (the childish, the foolish, the feckless) does important political work. It transforms every societal ill into a personal failing: the prisoner in the dock who stole to survive can be recast as a deficient whose partying on study-nights led to their failure to achieve the grades needed for a merit scholarship, a first-class degree, and a high-paying job.

Dividing the human race into "the wise" and "the foolish" forms an ethical basis for hierarchy. If some of us are born (or raised) for wisdom, then naturally those people should be in charge. Moreover, putting the innately foolish in charge is a recipe for disaster. The political scientist Corey Robin identifies this as the unifying belief common to every kind of conservativism: that some are born to rule, others are born to be ruled over:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/01/set-healthy-boundaries/#healthy-populism

This is why conservatives are so affronted by affirmative action, whose premise is that the absence of minorities in the halls of power stems from systemic bias. For conservatives, the fact that people like themselves are running things is evidence of their own virtue and suitability for rule. In conservative canon, the act of shunting aside members of dominant groups to make space for members of disfavored minorities isn't justice, it's dangerous "virtue signaling" that puts the childish and unfit in positions of authority.

Again, this does important political work. If you are ideologically committed to deregulation, and then a giant, deregulated sea-freighter crashes into a bridge, you can avoid any discussion of re-regulating the industry by insisting that we are living in a corrupted age where the unfit are unjustly elevated to positions of authority. That bridge wasn't killed by deregulation – it's demise is the fault of the DEI hire who captained the ship:

https://www.axios.com/local/salt-lake-city/2024/03/26/baltimore-bridge-dei-utah-lawmaker-phil-lyman-misinformation

The idea of a society made up of the patient and wise and the impatient and foolish is as old as Aesop's "The Ant and the Grasshopper," but it acquired a sheen of scientific legitimacy in 1970, with Walter Mischel's legendary "Stanford Marshmallow Experiment":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment

In this experiment, kids were left alone in a locked room with a single marshmallow, after being told that they would get two marshmallows in 15 minutes, but only if they waited until them to eat the marshmallow before them. Mischel followed these kids for decades, finding that the kids who delayed gratification and got that second marshmallow did better on every axis – educational attainment, employment, and income. Adult brain-scans of these subjects revealed structural differences between the patient and the impatient.

For many years, the Stanford Marshmallow experiment has been used to validate the cleavage of humanity in the patient and wise and impatient and foolish. Those brain scans were said to reveal the biological basis for thinking of humanity's innate rulers as a superior subspecies, hidden in plain sight, destined to rule.

Then came the "replication crisis," in which numerous bedrock psychological studies from the mid 20th century were re-run by scientists whose fresh vigor disproved and/or complicated the career-defining findings of the giants of behavioral "science." When researchers re-ran Mischel's tests, they discovered an important gloss to his findings. By questioning the kids who ate the marshmallows right away, rather than waiting to get two marshmallows, they discovered that these kids weren't impatient, they were rational.

The kids who ate the marshmallows were more likely to come from poorer households. These kids had repeatedly been disappointed by the adults in their lives, who routinely broke their promises to the kids. Sometimes, this was well-intentioned, as when an economically precarious parent promised a treat, only to come up short because of an unexpected bill. Sometimes, this was just callousness, as when teachers, social workers or other authority figures fobbed these kids off with promises they knew they couldn't keep.

The marshmallow-eating kids had rationally analyzed their previous experiences and were making a sound bet that a marshmallow on the plate now was worth more than a strange adult's promise of two marshmallows. The "patient" kids who waited for the second marshmallow weren't so much patient as they were trusting: they had grown up with parents who had the kind of financial cushion that let them follow through on their promises, and who had the kind of social power that convinced other adults – teachers, etc – to follow through on their promises to their kids.

Once you understand this, the lesson of the Marshmallow Experiment is inverted. The reason two marshmallow kids thrived is that they came from privileged backgrounds: their high grades were down to private tutors, not the choice to study rather than partying. Their plum jobs and high salaries came from university and family connections, not merit. Their brain differences were the result of a life free from the chronic, extreme stress that comes with poverty.

Post-replication crisis, the moral of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment is that everyone experiences a mix of patience and impatience, but for the people born to privilege, the consequences of impatience are blunted and the rewards of patience are maximized.

Which explains a lot about how rich people actually behave. Take Charles Koch, who grew his father's coal empire a thousandfold by making long-term investments in automation. Koch is a vocal proponent of patience and long-term thinking, and is openly contemptuous of publicly traded companies because of the pressure from shareholders to give preference to short-term extraction over long-term planning. He's got a point.

Koch isn't just a fossil fuel baron, he's also a wildly successful ideologue. Koch is one of a handful of oligarchs who have transformed American politics by patiently investing in a kraken's worth of think tanks, universities, PACs, astroturf organizations, Star chambers and other world-girding tentacles. After decades of gerrymandering, voter suppression, court-packing and propagandizing, the American billionaire class has seized control of the US and its institutions. Patience pays!

But Koch's longtermism is highly selective. Arguably, Charles Koch bears more personal responsibility for delaying action on the climate emergency than any other person, alive or dead. Addressing greenhouse gasses is the most grasshopper-and-the-ant-ass crisis of all. Every day we delayed doing something about this foreseeable, well-understood climate debt added sky-high compounding interest. In failing to act, we saved billions – but we stuck our future selves with trillions in debt for which no bankruptcy procedure exists.

By convincing us not to invest in retooling for renewables in order to make his billions, Koch was committing the sin of premature avocado toast, times a billion. His inability to defer gratification – which he imposed on the rest of us – means that we are likely to lose much of world's coastal cities (including the state of Florida), and will have to find trillions to cope with wildfires, zoonotic plagues, and hundreds of millions of climate refugees.

Koch isn't a serene Buddha whose ability to surf over his impetuous attachments qualifies him to make decisions for the rest of us. Rather, he – like everyone else – is a flawed vessel whose blind spots are just as stubborn as ours. But unlike a person whose lack of foresight leads to drug addiction and petty crimes to support their habit, Koch's flaws don't just hurt a few people, they hurt our entire species and the only planet that can support it.

The selective marshmallow patience of the rich creates problems beyond climate debt. Koch and his fellow oligarchs are, first and foremost, supporters of oligarchy, an intrinsically destabilizing political arrangement that actually threatens their fortunes. Policies that favor the wealthy are always seeking an equilibrium between instability and inequality: a rich person can either submit to having their money taxed away to build hospitals, roads and schools, or they can invest in building high walls and paying guards to keep the rest of us from building guillotines on their lawns.

Rich people gobble that marshmallow like there's no tomorrow (literally). They always overestimate how much bang they'll get for their guard-labor buck, and underestimate how determined the poors will get after watching their children die of starvation and preventable diseases.

All of us benefit from some kind of cushion from our bad judgment, but not too much. The problem isn't that wealthy people get to make a few poor choices without suffering brutal consequences – it's that they hoard this benefit. Most of us are one missed student debt payment away from penalties and interest that add twenty years to our loan, while Charles Koch can set the planet on fire and continue to act as though he was born with the special judgment that means he knows what's best for us.

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/04/deferred-gratification/#selective-foresight

Image: Mark S (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/markoz46/4864682934/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[aninipanin1]

I think that Anri begs adult manager! reader to force Ego to eat an actual meal that isn’t those instant noodles

EW, VEGETABLES...?

Notes: I actually love this so much, anon lol

"Good morning, Anri-san. How may I help you today?"

You greeted your fellow female manager, figure hunched over the washing machine, scrubbing the white linen sheets from the many rooms around the facility, especially the one that legit had an oyster sauce spill, leaving a spot darkened.

Anri gave her a large smile, one that is familiar, at first before her, she reached some sort of 'Eureka' moment, and her smile turned into one of disappointment she did not think of it earlier along with a hint of mischief in it.

"Actually, can you help me with something, Y/n?"

"Oh, of course! What do I do?"

The redhaired manager motioned for her to come closer, to which she followed. Cupping her hand around your ear, Anri whispered the 'task' she wanted you to do.

As she spoke, the wider your eyes became. How will you even pull this off?

"But, Anri-san..! You know how much he loves his noodles...and how he doesn't really like me."

You always thought that Ego Jinpachi, the head and director of the Blue Lock facility, never seemed to like you. He wasn't rude to you (you think because he talked to you the way he did to everyone else), but you can definitely see that he would go out of his way to avoid talking to you, approaching you or anything related to talking with you alone without Anri, unless it was something prefessional and work-related.

He also always scolds you. You know, it was just because of the betterment of the project. But why did he have to scold you for just being around Noel Noa or any of the master strikers? They were the ones handling the improvement of the boys. Of course, you need to be around them! Well, it was one of the many things you noticed, but you digressed. After all, you know you cannot please everyone, especially in a workplace environment.

So, you were a little shocked when Anri tilted her head at you, confused about your claim.

"Ego-san...doesn't like you?"

"Um, isn't it obvious, Anri-san? He doesn't really like talking to me at all, and when you aren't there with us, he will always avoid talking to me even if I try to make casual conversations! Also, he always scolds me for the stupidest reasons! Why does he get mad when I talk to Noa-san, Snuffy-san, Prince-san, or even Lavinho-san, I will never understand! It's my job to make sure that the boys are doing well and I can only make sure of that through the master strikers!"

You did not know when you started ranting, but you did. Anri, who listened to you with open ears, could not help but chuckle on the inside. She felt quite amused and also disappointed at Ego. But, she cannot say she was not surprised. Ego was one, if not the most emotionally constipated person she had ever met. It was not a surprise that he would try to avoid you.

But, why did he have to do all those things? It wasn't helping his cause at all!

'You better thank me for what I am doing, Ego-san.'

"Ego-san! Um..."

You stood there in the office where the said man was watching the many screens, watching over the progress of the players who were all training in their own ways. In your hands was a tray filled with sautéed vegetables, a bowl of rice, and some chicken in a bowl you cooked just for the man.

Even if you think he hates you, you can not just ignore someone who is literally putting their life in danger because they don't want to eat healthy things. You aren't messed up like that!

But, you did not know how to approach this, much less him. How will you even ask him to do this, much less with the strained relationship you two had? This was a really bad idea! Why did Anri have to approach you of all people for this-

"What is it?"

He turned his swivel chair to face you, his eyes a bit lidded to show that he was not that happy for being interrupted.

"I made some extra food, and uh...I thought you may want to have it."

'That's so stupid, Y/n!'

He raised an eyebrow at this, and it did not help that the look on his face showed that he did not approve of eating the pallate on the tray.

"Y/n-chan, you know I don't eat those things."

"I know...! I just didn't want to waste it. Anri-san said she already ate so..."

Ego did not say anything, turning his swivel chair to face the screens again. Just as you were about to give up and leave the room thinking that he would not accept the food at all, he raised his arm and pointed to an empty space on the desk.

"Put it there. Don't blame me if I don't eat it and it becomes rotten."

Blinking at his words, you just nodded your head, a bit dazed that he actually considered even being near the food. You did as he told before bowing and leaving to do your other chores and duties.

Needless to say, when Anri entered Ego's office, she was shocked to see the man munching on a bowl of rice with chicken and vegetables on top. His eyes were still focused on the screen, back hunched in a weird position, but he was indeed eating.

"Did Y/n pass by here..?"

"She did. Dropped this...abomination and her paperwork."

Ego answered, pointing to the food that he called 'abomination,' yet he was still eating the food, cheeks round with food. Anri nodded, yet it was obvious she did not believe the disgusted look in his face to which he only glared at her for.

"You're the one who said it. The facility should not waste food." He pointed his chopstick at her.

"Yeah, yeah. It's totally not because you favour her, definitely not." Anri shrugged, a cheeky smile as she headed out the room once she dropped the paperwork.

'I'm surrounded by simps, haahh...' She inwardly sighed.

ADDITIONAL TIME!

Anri: You like her.

Ego: No, I don't.

Also Ego: *proceeds to hoard every single thing Y/n gave him, yes, even if it was the inkless pen she passed to him to throw in the trash.*

I'm sorry if this was too short, hahaha. I didn't really know how to go deeper into this. But I hope you loved this!

Blue Lock is WRITTEN by Kaneshiro Muneyuki and ILLUSTRATED by Nomura Yusuke. All credits to the both of them.

[enden-agolor]

Got any more Jesskas/mcsm head cannons? :3👉👈

Hmm 🤔 I'm just gonna throw a bunch of random ideas in my head down

For Lukas, I love to think he'd be super into those fishing catch and cook kinds of videos. I watch them all the time and I really think if it were a modern setting, he'd be one of those guys with a youtube channel dedicated to fishing and he travels around in his gay little subaru and does fishing tutorials. How to rig a pole, what times and seasons its best to fish at, etc. He'd be a freshwater fisherman too. Loves going to streams or lakes.

A hc I have for both Jesse and Lukas is that they both do morning jogs and also work out together. Y'know, lift weights to stay fit, while Jesse does most of the heavy lifting, Lukas does some too but not as much.

Lukas also has a big thing with food and staying healthy. Constantly getting on Jesse's ass for eating too many sweets and not enough fruits/veggies. While Lukas does love and adore treating Jesse to sweet snacks, he can tell when Jesse is avoiding a certain food and Lukas is like. "Jesse. You're a grown man. Eat your vegetables." And Jesse's like "Uuughhhh fiiiine.."

Neither of them are super picky eaters. Jesse won't eat pork/bacon or mushrooms (mushrooms remind him of the sunshine institute and pork.. well y'know..) and Lukas I like to think isn't a huge fan of potatoes (im projecting onto him)

Also Lukas has like a really big fear of blood. He hates seeing it and it makes him genuinely nauseous. Jesse can handle it a bit better but he has a horrible fear of throwing up and hates the possibility of having to see others do it (like that scene when radar is about to hurl and jesse looks away)

Uhh. They're both very open with pda. They hold hands, hug, and of course kiss in some public settings like before going to work or dropping each other off somewhere or if its like a date night and they're at a fancy restaurant, they'll hold each others hands over the table. It's like.. when you've faced death countless times, why be ashamed of hiding something you're truly proud to have? So they're very open about their relationship.

When Jesse gets jealous, he's the kind to have that 'hopeless jealousy' where he'll be quiet and hide his feelings, while as for Lukas, he's way more vocal about his distaste in people flirting with or hitting on Jesse and will actively come over and give whoever it is a death glare. Lukas is very protective of Jesse and in no way open to the idea of sharing and Jesse really likes that about him. It feels nice to have someone so dedicated to him and looking out for him for once. And in a way he wouldn't want any other person to do it.

[swaps55]

Hi! I previously asked about Sam’s reasons for initiating with Kaidan in your multiverse fics, thank you for your answer, it was great to read and you’ve really switched back on the side of my brain that likes to analyse literature after uni killed it off lol. I was thinking more about the part where you said

‘I really wanted to push the queerplatonic nature of their relationship - have them be a lot more physically affectionate with each other, but Sam is really keen on physical touch once you give it to him, and the slow burn would have gotten a lot faster, lol’

And my brain is now filled with this AU where they’re exactly how you described them, v touchy feely with each other for a while before a sort of ‘relationship’ or kiss happens. Would you ever consider writing a multiverse fic exploring this concept? I totally get why you wouldn’t as it contradicts Sam’s nature as you said, but man, my mind is reeling with the ‘what-if’s’!!

Love your writing as always and the Cantata re-read count is now aaaatttt maybe 5/6 in the space of 6 months lol. Sending love! 🩷

That anyone cares enough to daydream about, analyze or ask about Opus is just mind blowing to me, so thank you so much for this question!!!!!

So, this may not be exactly what you're after, but I have an AU sitting on a distant backburner that is a Sam character study mashed up with the soulmate-esque idea of "I will find you in any universe."

The general gist is, Kaidan gets yanked out of a universe in which Sam never gets resurrected and the reapers are winning into a universe in which the reapers remained dormant, Sam isn't in the Alliance, and Kaidan died at BAaT. I love the questions it poses and what Sam looks like through such a different lens, but it isn't going to get written any time soon because there are too many challenges with it.

HOWEVER, the dynamic between Sam and Kaidan is different enough that I think a more queerplatonic relationship can exist. The Sam in this universe is a lot more open and free with physical affection.

I wrote a scene that got stuck in my head. It's not great, and I'm not convinced it works, but it does poke at this a little. So here you go!

~

Kaidan pads out into the living room, rubbing the bridge of his nose, sucking in a breath and letting it out slow. Only part of him is surprised to find the holo screen on, and Shepard tucked up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.

Shepard’s insomnia appears to transcend universes.

Whatever he’s watching looks like some low budget salarian flick, with the silhouettes of a human, an info drone, and a FENRIS mech cracking jokes in the corner of the screen. Kaidan’s heart twists. Same taste in movies, too.

Kaidan almost continues onto the kitchen, not even really sure what he’s after – tea, maybe – but hesitates when he nears the couch. At the brush of their biotic fields Shepard looks up, eyebrow arching ever so slightly. Kaidan looks towards the kitchen, then back to the screen, uncertain.

It’s like looking at home through a mirror. Something he can see, but not touch.  

He circles the couch and sits down beside Shepard, who offers him the popcorn bowl without a word. Kaidan shakes his head and scooches over to leave a healthy space between them. Shepard shrugs a nonchalant shoulder and takes another handful for himself, slouching deeper into the cushions.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks.

“Something like that,” Kaidan replies.

Shepard eyes him for a moment before returning his attention to the movie. On the screen, a dozen salarians wearing wigs of human hair march catatonically across the screen.

“Are those salarians supposed to be dressed as humans, or are they supposed to be humans?” Kaidan asks after moment.

“Depends on how you look at it, I guess,” he says with a thoughtful tilt of his head. “It’s a take on invasion of the body snatchers, pod people, the like.”

“…Isn’t the point of those that you can’t tell they’ve been invaded?”

A lopsided smile tugs at his lip. “Something gets lost in the cultural translation, yeah.”

“Never understood what you see in this kind of stuff,” Kaidan says with a shake of his head.

“It’s unwatchable.”

Shepard scoffs. “There’s an art to a good B-movie. Ones like this can give you some pretty wild insight into how aliens see everyone else.” He throws a piece of popcorn in the air and catches it neatly. “I should show you Revenge of the Gun. Salarians recreated an Earth western shot-for-shot, but didn’t have a good translation for the audio. They just made up whatever they wanted. So you have a movie that was lost in translation from the start get interpreted by an alien race, then put back through a translator for non-salarians. It’s our own story twice removed through alien eyes.”

“And you love it, don’t you?”

“Are you kidding? It’s fucking incredible.”

Kaidan chuckles. On the screen, the info drone sings a jingle aimed at the director’s love of close-up reaction shots. “Well, if the bad movies are so amazing, why the snarky commentary?”

Shepard grins. “Because it’s funny.”

They lapse into silence. But it’s…comfortable. Familiar. Kaidan worries his lip, focusing on the wig-wearing salarians. “Do you not have Blasto here?”

“Blasto? Doesn’t ring a bell, and trust me, it would.”

“Blasto the Jellyfish, with a lover in every port and a gun in every tentacle.” Kaidan shakes his head. “This universe is missing out. You’d love it.”   

“Sounds like it.”

“Last I heard, it made quite a stir when they cast an elcor as Blasto’s next lover.”

Shepard snorts.

They fall silent. On screen, a struggling salarian gets shoved into an actual pod, and comes out expressionless, wearing a wig. Kaidan draws his bare feet up on the couch and rests his chin on his knees.

When was the last time he sat down and watched a movie, any movie, much less a mindless, terrible waste of time? Time had become so precious in those final months; he couldn’t afford to waste it on anything. And why? What was precious about it? What was he saving it for? What was going to be left to spend it on?

The only things he spends time on anymore are fear and bad memories.

“You ok?” Shepard asks.

“Fine.” 

“You know, if I’d been fighting a losing war to save all sentient life, lost friends, lost a partner, and lost my family, I’m betting I wouldn’t be fine.”

You weren’t, but you hid it so well.

Kaidan makes a noncommittal sound.

Shepard’s gaze rests on him, silent, shrewd, and Kaidan shifts on the couch cushion, keeping his eyes on the screen. Shepard grunts, leans forward and sets the popcorn bowl on the coffee table.

“I'm here, you know. I know it's...weird. But. You aren’t alone."

When Kaidan says nothing, Shepard shrugs, and retrieves the popcorn.

Kaidan hunches deeper into himself. How many times had he piled on couches in the ‘Yang’s lounge with the squad? How many times had he and Shepard brushed knees, thighs, dozed on each other’s shoulders? All those casual, intimate touches that were just part of the fabric of life, something he’d never seen or noticed until they were gone?

His eyes slide over to Shepard, whose attention is back on the movie. Before he can think about it any harder, he edges closer. Without a word, Shepard sets the popcorn back down and raises his arm until Kaidan curls into the crook of his side. He hooks Kaidan’s forearm with his fingers, arm a reassuring weight around his shoulders.

He’s soft, solid, warm, all the things Kaidan has lacked.

Like the fight’s gone out of him, Kaidan gives into it and lets his head come to rest against Shepard’s shoulder. A knot in his chest tightens until it’s hard to breathe, but the longer he sits, the longer he stays, it starts to loosen, the lead in his bones a little less heavy.  

They watch the movie curled together, Shepard’s hand running up and down his arm. Every now and then one of the jokes draws out a laugh. This close to him, pressed against his ribs, it’s a resonate rumble against Kaidan’s skin, felt as much as it’s heard. Sometimes he fills the silence with commentary, pointing out something about the scene or the context of the joke.

Kaidan says nothing, sometimes listening, sometimes not – either way it doesn’t seem to matter. But when Shepard’s fingers drift towards Kaidan’s hair and idly comb through it, a sigh rattles out of him, ending with a choke and a sound that says nothing but means everything.

Shepard doesn’t say a word, just lets his fingers do the talking, working Kaidan’s scalp, steady and rhythmic. Kaidan closes his eyes, but something in the air changes when Shepard’s gaze settles over him. He feels it without having to see it, like a sixth sense waking up from a long sleep.

It’s a respite. Temporary. Not something he can keep. But in that moment, for the first time in a long time, Kaidan’s heart rests.

[bimboficationblues]

Do you picture family abolition resulting in *less* isolation? Because I think the reason most people find the idea scary is because it sounds like a recipe for increased isolation. Like it or not, many people's warmest relationships are with family members; yes, there are families for which this isn't the case, but they are dysfunctional families. I especially worry for certain people who have a hard time forming new relationships, like my brother whose only meaningful relationships are our mom and me due to his autism and PTSD. They are very happy and healthy relationships, without which he would be in a very bad place. I do not think he would have any friends without his family, like if he was raised in public daycares or whatever it would be in communism; many people analogous to him don't due to the absence of family. School (and the Marxist vision frankly sounds like turning society into a giant school - or factory as Lenin called it) was a place of loneliness and bullying for him, he always looked forward to coming home. So please explain why my worries are misplaced and family abolition would in fact result in less isolation.

Do you picture family abolition resulting in *less* isolation?

Yes, or I wouldn't endorse it.

Because I think the reason most people find the idea scary is because it sounds like a recipe for increased isolation.

I think this is maybe true in some cases, but it seems quite clear to me that many people find the idea scary because they think "family" is an entity ordained by god or nature and to challenge it is either folly or malice, or because it threatens certain kinds of class or gendered domination from which they benefit to various degrees.

Like it or not, many people's warmest relationships are with family members; yes, there are families for which this isn't the case, but they are dysfunctional families.

I don't think you can plausibly assert either of these things - the first clause is just vibes, the second is a lot more relevant than you're willing to admit. what does it say about "the family" if it so easily lends itself to "dysfunction"? I mean, I could go down a list of how many people I know experience isolation because of their families: are we to assume that this isolation doesn't count?

the family is a protection against isolation in the same way that like having a job is protection against being powerless in a money-society - that is to say, the family does not just produce warm, fulfilling relationships, but also engenders isolation both through its absence (disownment, the current foster care system, the experience of single parenthood) and its presence (the household acting as kind of a petty personal fiefdom "outside society" for the patriarch or parents to exert their will over others, repression, abuse, the gendered division of labor). it produces negative examples - the "dysfunctional family" in your parlance - as contrast against the positive ones; a form of threat.

Some people are happily married, and more power to them. and yet, I remain a marriage abolitionist, not because the idea of "two people decide to enter into a quasi-permanent commitment and have an expressive ceremony to celebrate" is somehow bad but because that interpersonal ideal is not actually what marriage represents in the here and now politically, socially, economically, or at least is not an adequate summary. likewise, "having kinship connections with people that are connected to you by either 'blood' or choice" is fine - but that isn't really what family represents under our current arrangements. we're not out here calling for the abolition of friendship, after all. the sociopolitical and economic prioritization and valorization of certain kinds of relationships - summarized under the heading of "familialism" or "the family" - at the expense of others, is a structural choice we make and it has significant faults. the family is a form of arbitrary political and economic power.

As always I'm pretty hesitant about trying to write recipes for the kitchens of the future, but at minimum I think the family abolitionist position is one of pluralism: as of right now, a fairly narrow understanding of family is given pride of place in law and society, and being willing to enter into that and conform to its expectations is a precondition of access to a variety of benefits that should either be available to all (instead of economically pressuring people into marriage/children/homeownership) or should not exist at all (arbitrary power over children, misogynist divisions of labor). It is broadly desirable to, at the very least, open the field for different forms of kinship (compare the concept of 'chosen family') for the many people that find this arrangement constraining or repressive. if your brother wants to have a relationship with you and your mom, that's awesome and I do not think most family abolitionists would endorse taking that choice away from him - but many people do not get this choice (or are repressed into being unable to make this choice) in a way that is bad for their well-being because of how we practice "family."

you could analogize to "gender abolition" where the annihilation of gender is fulfilled in allowing a thousand genders (or lack thereof) to bloom. (there's considerable debate as to whether gender is something that should cease to exist, or merely be transformed or opened to such a degree that it is no longer recognizable as such - I think the same question goes for "the family." but regardless I think it is fairly likely that we will continue to have a variety of kinship connections as well as various means of expressing oneself, but we need not elevate a particular way of doing either above all others.)

I can't like, convince you into recognizing that the family is not this neutral force, I can only tell you that you have constructed a particular shadow in your head (the communists are coming to take you away from your parents and siblings) that you are asking me to box on your behalf, which is not a very effective means of wrestling with a complex and thorny political question. I will also say, the questions in this vein almost always seem to assume that like, the only thing that we would seek to change is the family and would leave untouched the prevailing treatment of disability (which I don't think "families" handle especially well, your example notwithstanding!) or education. the family is kind of a nesting doll in the sense that confronting it also requires confronting how we value and treat education, romance, sex/sexuality, childrearing, birth, etc.

But like, at the root of it, I simply do not follow your reasoning: one of our issues with family is precisely that it is isolating (or rather bestows the power to isolate, the common critique of how CSA is perpetuated). I don't see how you can draw the conclusion that this means we want *more* isolation and would just abandon those who struggle - unless you are harboring the (erroneous) belief that because family is biological or socially ordained that it cannot hurt or isolate you, that because the relationship is "built in" (it isn't, really, people bail on family all the time in the current order), it is an automatically reliable source of stability for someone that has difficulty forming new relationships.

[abyssmita]

I JUST found out about FGM through a yt short (i genuinely had no idea so I had to scroll the comments to understand) and I'm literally horrified. Even then as I scroll I find comments by men comparing it to male circumcision.....

Scrolling a little further I saw a comment by another Indian woman saying that she found out rn too and sympathizing with the victims, there's a reply to it stating how women were treated worse in Hinduism (sati, dalit women, menstrual cycle restrictions, draupadi etc.) and that the commentor shouldn't be "acting as if she's living better"???????? Wtf??? I can't even start to talk about what exactly went thru this person's head before making that comment because I simply cannot make the connection.

MOVING ON, ANOTHER reply comes from this another Indian guy to the previous replier, saying "you don't know anything, hinduism much better yadda yadda sati wasn't forced on women like jauhar isn't, isolating women during menstruation was justified because they didn't have Dettol back then, draupadi cheerharan was done because she insulted duryodhan first and it was 'tit for tat'"

There's just so much to unpack here. I'll be going on a rant.

I love my religion a lot, it means very much to me. And I understand that many of the wrongs in it started due to external influence and patriarchy. But that does NOT negate the fact that they were WRONG. No sati wasn't "women's choice". No independent healthy person with free will would want to burn themselves alive unless they are either 1. Manipulated to think that's correct, or 2. Being alive is a bigger threat (which was the case in jauhar). Even IF some women "chose" to die with their husbands, it was not out of love of free will, it was because they were conditioned to think that's what an honourable wife should do. they were made to believe a wife is nothing without her husband, she's merely an extension of him and should be discarded when he is no longer alive. And I also hate those people who glamorize the practice of jauhar, as if it wasn't a direct consequence of patriarchy. Yes, the women were brave to take such a step for their dignity, but WHY ARE WE IGNORING THAT THEY WOULDN'T JUST JUMP INTO THE FIRE IF THEY WEREN'T ABOUT TO BE TAKEN AS LITERAL SEX SLAVES? No it wasn't their "choice", they had no other option left. It was either an "honorable" death or a miserable life. This is just bear vs man all over again honestly, it's getting so tiring.

You at gunpoint, two cups infront of you, one laced with poison, either you drink one or he shoots. You'll pick one up, you'll take your chance. But you wouldn't touch any of those cups if not for the gun to your head. Stop justifying crimes against women with a false illusion of choice. You are no better than the perpetrators. If you can put the responsibility of such incidents on the victims, you can very well do the same thing to another person.

And I can't even start talking about the draupadi thing, man how in the world was duryodhan having her assaulted and sexually harrassed infront of the entire Kingdom a justified reaction to her simply LAUGHING at him (which DIDN'T actually happen, jsyk.) I'd really like to cut open the brains of the people who can think on this wavelength and actually see for myself how the thought process happens, and then preferably smash their brains straight to sauce because no monster who genuinely thinks like that deserves to be alive.

Another point I'd like to make is that how these two men somehow managed to take the point STRAIGHT from the cruelty against FGM victims to something that is completely different to the case at hand. Speaks a lot about exactly how they have behaved in the past few centuries, doesn't it?

Also, those who are unaware of FGM like I was, I request you go and research that topic. It is not a thing of the past, it's happening to very little girls right this moment as we speak. When we live in times where women struggle to be considered human, much less equal to men, the least we can do is be aware of problems our fellow women suffer from. Even if male circumcision is a highly debated topic, it is not at all comparable to FGM. Funny how most of us know about male circumcision and yet have never heard of FGM.

[deathlooksgoodonyou-if]

AAAAAAAHHH!!! Just found your If and I can already say that I can feel myself bitting at the bars of my cell, this is SO GOOD!

I'm already obsessed about so many different parts of this story and the demo hasn't even come out yet!! So I'm going to do what my little heart and messed up brain can and word vomit about my little fucked up MC!

So, you said they had a rough upbringing and that their situationship with Jules was also not healthy, so I did the sane thing and started projecting on them!

My little guy, my baby boy Kyrin, is absolutely not coping well and he mostly decides that any mean thoughts or emotions that surface are nothing important and immediately bottles them up for another day, month, year. They will never let anyone see under their mask because, well, why would anyone need to know? They like this version of him, so no matter how many things he has to say or thinks, they won't ever see the light of day.

And he does his best to seem like a well adjusted member of society, he even makes some friends (which to him is an epic win!!), and then he meets Jules.

And sadly, for everyone involved, it seems they match each other's freak.

Kyrin and Jules share something in common. Love is strange and scary for them, never having felt this strongly about anyone before, they have no idea how to handle it.

Kyrin, completely fumbling this whole new human experience, loves too hard and too bright. He wants Jules to like them, to spend time with them, to get any shred of attention from them as he can. And he doesn't even understand why.

Jules, of course also doesn't understand this love thing, and is in result scared by it.

The obvious happens.

It's when Jules begins dating another person that Kyrin's mask breaks. Years of anger, grief and a thousand other things finally breaking the camel's back.

Things get messy. Kyrin is angry. Jules is angry. They can't find a middle ground. Bridges are burnt.

And then Jules is murdered.

Kyrin is left alone, mask broken and a whole lot of emotions to sort through for the first time in a long time.

At this point, in the present, Kyrin is less of a wet cat and more of a feral stray kitten. Scared, angry and functioning entirely on his fight or flight mode.

With everything going on, he will absolutely choose to close himself off from others, feeling terrified of being so vulnerable and with so much in his plate that putting on his mask is near impossible at this point.

I have ideas of what I want his story to be, no pressure to add anything of this of course.

His main arc would be obviously getting his shit together and finally figuring himself out as a person but that's going to be pushed far back on the line of things to care about with the whole murderer on the lose and the incarnation of his grief, loss and self hate coming to haunt him.

For romance, it'll be a real hit or miss as the only one I can see him even willingly getting close is Mia and that is mostly because of the whole 'She will hurt you' part. After Jules passing, Kyrin absolutely doesn't believe they can or should be loved and that train of thought will only be reinforced by the new mean Jules in his head.

Of course, this is a big maybe because if that sanity stat does what is says, and by god I hope it does (little guy so fucked up that he is taking control of the narrative!!), then Kyrin will either kill someone or himself before the story ends. I want that stat as low as it can go!

Either way, this is going to be a really messy ride with an even messier ending and I can't wait for it!

kyrin is such a gorgeous, gorgeous name! He gives off major "I confuse instinct for desire. Isn't bite also touch?" vibes. 😭😭

I love it when people talk about their MCs in my asks. It helps me understand what y'all want and write them better. 🫶

[definesanity]

Castle: Memory

Silence.

Complete, and utter, silence.

The halls, once teeming with thoughts of ingenuity, and voices of a new generation of great thinkers, now only houses the quiet electrical hum that powers the building.

Soon, the sound of a door sliding was heard, and out-stepped a tall figure.

Wearing the coat of the last greatest leader of Laplace, and a shoulder cape that displayed the almost forgotten logo of the building.

This castle of geniuses, of lies, and of hope.

Jane Tempus-Mesmer Jr. never wanted to lead it. Every time she was offered the role, she refused for obvious reasons. And, yet, after so many fell, and so many minds were rotted away... she was the only one left to lead it.

A monarch of a castle, of an empty kingdom. Where only the ghosts of past researchers, and the spirits of those who had the brightest sparks wander the halls.

"I know that look." a feminine, teasing voice came from behind her.

"And I know that voice." Mesmer's raspy tone replied.

Looking behind her, the semi-transparent spirit of Y stood there. She smiled innocently. It didn't suit her. "What, isn't it something I always used to do? Sneaking up behind someone and speaking suddenly?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "You did, yes. But, I always thought Luca was better at it than you. No offence."

"None taken; but now, a new question arises:" Y vanished; and then, reappeared in front of Jane. "What made you want to return here, hm? To look back on how far you've come?"

Jane snorted in reply. "Perhaps if I was less than secure with my current place in the world. No, it's to pay respects. To you, as well."

Y opened her mouth, and then closed it. "...Wait..." she chuckled, shaking her head. "...Hah...!"

"I'm not heartless, Y. You were, and are, a pain in my ass. But one that, like the rest of this circus, I've grown to enjoy. Yes, by the way, even Medi."

"Wow..." Y's mismatched eyes looked misty, but Jane assumed that was from her being a spirit. Her eye that appeared in a black void, the blue one, had an emotion she could not place. Happiness? Relief? Wistfulness? She does not know; she's a master at hiding her emotions, the damn squirrel.

"And to think, this all changed when you got slapped by our Timekeeper," Y chuckled. "And your wrists... you kept those marks, after all this time?"

Jane let her sleeves roll back, and looked down: the un-faded, purple marks around her wrists, in the shape of hands. It was the day that she had tested the waters and nearly drowned in them.

And yet? Vertin offered her a way out. In the form of a coffee date, for heaven's sake...

The sleeves rolled back up, and she started to walk again. She estimated this would only take an hour, so she can get back to deal with any further... mild messes made.

All of Laplace had a way of remembering who had fallen. Some chose to use documents, others, candles, and then Jane's, who used blends of tea and coffee, and a healthy amount of her old self. Back before she had gotten hit in her head by reality.

"To the bastard dog who caused me many headaches," she began putting down a cup of Biohazard Coffee next to her old desk. "If I was nicer, I'd say I hope you're having a lovely time. Since I'm not, and you'd rather me be honest, I will instead say: Keep fucking, mangy mutt. You deserve to."

Next, she placed down a cup of Darjeeling tea. "Next, to the annoying pest who ended up getting fucked so hard, it actually gave you gender reaffirmation. I never did say but, on that day, I..." she paused for a second, and then sighed. "Eh, you know already. No point in wallowing."

The next cup, and this time, a regular blend of coffee. "You don't get anything special. I think you'd enjoy it. Besides, you always preferred more extravagant ideas, so why not something plain to get you humility, right?"

And, one last one. A unique flavour, made by that same person. "Soule flavoured coffee tastes like shit, Leo. I hope you know this."

At last, she sat down. Surrounded by a mixture of aroma that, oddly, didn't smell all that bad.

She gave another sigh. "Ever since... ugh. Vertin is a horrible influence on me. It made me actually care. I know, shocker."

...And, yet, it was her who smiled. "...She's annoying. You all are annoying. And I find it funny that I wouldn't trade it for anything at all."

[zishu-arts]

1. What's ur fav avm ep? Or generally ava ep

2. What's ur fav short?

3. And favorite character? Why is that your favorite character?

4. Do u kin anyone? Why?

5. What are your thoughts on King Orange? Personally, I do love the character but I wanna see some controversy. He was forgiven too easily. Do you think that he's affected by immense guilt of his actions? Pls go in detail as much as you wish

6. What are your favorite (hc or not) relationships? Doesn't need to be romantic. Do you have thoughts on relationships between characters that haven't interacted? Or some hc on characters that did (example: I love the hc on Purple and Red hanging out so often that Red goes to visit Purple for advice on PRANKS out of all things)

If I think of something more, I'll send it through!!

1). i dont think i can pick a favorite since there's so many but i love rewatching Lush Caves, Ultimate Minecart Race, The Chef, The Ultimate Weapon (and honestly just the entire KO arc lmfao). For AVA its gotta be The Showdown it's just SOOO GOOD the animation, the concepts, the plot, ahhhh

2). hard once again, but Music Lesson is so goddamn funny

3). THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD (red is my second favorite tho). okay so, honestly it's just the amount of potential and trauma i could give him. i love his character and lore like, the idea of the Mission Code. what does it mean that you've been created for the sole purpose to destroy, and what does it mean that the person you're made to destory become your best friend? like, the existance of that code brings up so much potential and you could literally take it in so many ways. and like, just the story of cho and dark being two people who were coded for a purpose and run away. what...happens to that purpose? what are you supposed to do now? it's very "what am i if not a weapon?" "yourself. isn't that a wonderful person to be?" (i also dont remember where this quote is from). and also, i look at this little bastard and i think ah yes, he is a goddamn maniac. absolutely insane. i can make him as unhinged as possible and i think that's amazing.

i also think it's great that it's so easy for me to just do whatever i want with him like he's some dress up doll. i've got a genderbent version of him. i've got him with ADHD. i've got him with autism. i've got him trans. he's depressd. he has anxiety. he's in love. there's no saving him.

i also like that like. he's dead. he might not be dead. who fucking knows? and he's such an interesting character, is he evil, is he nice, does he care, what does he like? i want to know everything about him and i want to squish him like a little ball

(i alos like that he's very easy to self project into)

4). hmmmm honestly? i only ever kinned like one character (yuki from horimiya) so im not too familiar with actually kinning. if i had to pick, probably red, mostly cause i see him as a hyper possibly ADHD guy who's always running head first into situations without a thought and think damn he's jus tlike me fr

5). KO/MANGO TALK LETS GO !! you're def right, he was forigven too soon, but i like to think or hope that they at least had a bit of bonding. okay well first off i want to start off with: i see a lot of content where we view mango as like around 20 years old which i want to immedately have on the table: what do you mean 20 years old. he's got a goddamn kid that seems to be maybe 8-10, he's got to be at least reaching 40 by the time we actually see him in AVM. and no, 40 is not too old, they can still do backflips and fight ppl (as long as mango maintained a healthy lifestyle with daily exercise, healthy diet, and good sleep).

i love the fact that he went evil because he lost his son, and that he got lost in his anger and started hurting everyone around him. although i do think his and purple's relationship could do with A LOTT of work. their trust was broken over and over again (mostly on purple's end) and im not sure mango particularily remembers how to treat a child well. and did mango ever like,,,yk,,,properly grieve for his son? for all we know, he went home the same day he lost gold, punched his wall a lot, then went straight to working on the staff. now that he doesn't have that drive anymore, i think that's all going to catch up to him. he really needs to properly grieve and mourn and recover before he goes about doing anything else.

he can, in fact however, be a good person/father as long as he's got that under the belt. (which you could def see that he was pretty swag when he still had gold). i personally see him as a raspy and gruff guy so he's also a man of very few words. that also means he probably has a buttload of communcation issues that is gonna affect his relationship with other people. he has got A LOT to work on

i also want to mention how i don't particulary enjoy the "overprotective father that trails their child everywhere". i don't think a lot of people view mano this way either, but i just want it on the table that even though mango would definitely be protective of purple, he won't be weird about it

6). ohhhh okay okay if you've read my fics you know i am in love with the "siblings victim & dark" as well as "siblings chosen and second". i feel like vic and dark are both insane and enable the worst, unhinged parts of each other. and then chosen and second are pretty much polar opposites with "doesn't say a word + yapper"

i also love it when CC treat red as like the youngest hyper sibling bc he really does give off that energy. also I AGREE WITH YOU purple and red together were so cute it was so unexpected but i love that

i also really really really want to see dark and purple interact with each other. mostly because they're probably the two most least likely characters to ever see each other. but i like the idea of dark terrorizing purple and it works because purple the whole time is like 'holy fuck this is that terrorist holy fuck shit oml'

i also want to see purple and mango interact with alan. im not sure if they ever did? but id like to imagine one day alan logs onto his computer and sees these two random sticks on his screen and is like who the fuck are you guys

(my guy desperately needs a VPN)

i ADORE blue + yellow. both in a platonic and romantic sense. they're like skater girl + nerd girl to me. they're so goddamn adorable and i'm very obsessed with seeing them. they hold hands. they're polar opposites. they're always together. they're the duo that if you just see one of them it seems wrong. if one of them is missing, you automatically ask the other one where they are, because they no doubt would know. gods they're so entwined with each other

thanks for the ask !!

[agere-questions-and-resources]

my partner isnt super familiar(although not a complete stranger to) agere and im wondering how i can help him understand how to be a cg or look after me when im little. maybe a conversation on it would be good, but im not sure what exactly to tell him or how to tell it to him. any advice for him and/or me?

(🩹) Get to know agere

( And asking to be someone's little )

Hey anon! Thanks for asking me this. (Although I do apologize for having you wait so long for an answer), but i hope this helps regardless.

.

You are at an advantage, anon. If your partner at least is aware that age regression exists, then it's typically smooth sailing from there. Where I would start, is make sure you bring it up in conversation. Tell them more about age regression, and don't be afraid to let them know they can ask questions. Here's some bullet points you can start with:

• (knowledge): let your partner know about age regression and what it is. If you're comfortable enough you are free to tell them why you regress yourself. Let them know why it's healthy, what age regression may look like, and be as detailed or simple as much as you want. Whichever helps you and your partner talk about it.

• (CG stuff) once you get the ball rolling, just straight up be honest with them. Beating around the bush may cause further and unnecessary confusion, so just be straight up honest about it. If you haven't done so yet, tell them what a caregiver is. Tell them what a cg's role is, and ask them if they're okay with being involved with your regression.

• (boundaries matter) if it gets to the point where they agree, remember that boundaries matter. Your partner may be informed enough about agere and what a caregiver is at this point, but experience matters. The next time you're little and they're a cg for the first time, they might not know what to at first. When informing about what a cg is and what they do, set boundaries head on. Their boundaries, as well as yours matter. Avoid the unnecessary stress and make sure to let them know what to expect, and let them know that mistakes happen and they can do better next time.

-

Now, down below (the gif) is stuff that explains agere better, what a cg is, and a way to help you get an idea on how to start the conversation. These might help you explain to them what agere is, and what a cg is.

- what is age regression? -

Age regression, or 'Agere' for short, is a term for individuals who mentally revert back into a younger age than they are physically. Why does this happen? It happens for many reasons. One of them is because Agere is a trauma response. For individuals who have had traumatized childhoods, never had a childhood innocence, or just never had a childhood. Age regression is a way for people who age regress to relive a better childhood and heal their inner child. Age regression isn't just for trauma however. Another reason individuals may age regress is because it's fun. Reverting mentally back into a less stressful time is fun for some people who regress. People may also regress due to stress as well. Age regression is a healthy, fun coping mechanism. It's not only healthy, but it is therapist recommended as well.

- what is a cg? What do they do? Why is it important? -

A CG, is a short variation for 'Caregiver' a cg, or Caregiver, is someone who takes care of the little who's regressed. A Caregiver may: talk to their little, do activities with them, take them places, and in general just take care of their little. A Cg may fall under certain titles when they're in CGspace. A little may refer their caregiver as parental titles such as (mama, papa, dad, mom, etc). They may also use misc titles such as (bubba/baba, brother, sister, grandpa, grandpa, etc) the titles are up to the little and Cg to decide. Titles and petnames are obviously up to the cg and little on what they wish to call eachother, this is an example of these as these titles are popular amongst cgs in the community.

(Also important for all cgs who are new),

As a caregiver, (especially a first time one), you absolutely need to know what you're getting yourself into. Ask your little what they may expect from you. Do they want you to be soft spoken and patient with them? Consider it and talk about it. Do they want you to be patient, but also strict so they don't fall out of important routine? Consider it and talk about it! And even if your little doesn't mind you being strict, never, never NEVER go off on them. The last thing they want is you yelling at them. Being a cg requires patience, and just like any other child, shouldn't be yelled at for not understanding something, or needing help with something. Be patient! Thats important!

[julianalvarez9]

can't sleep (without you) / leandro trossard

request: bestie 🙏🏻🙏🏻 i’m on my knees for a trossard fic/sm!au. honestly, whatever you’re okay with doing. if it’s possible, all i ask is that it’s fluff <3

author's note: bestie this man needs to have more things written about him like 😭😭 he's my little baby. hope this does the trick!!! had the idea for pedri initially but after receiving the request i remembered the wip and said yeah this is for my little sleep deprived boyfriend 🤭🫶🏻

warnings: not really a warning but i use lean as a nickname. i knowww it's generally leo instead, but sometimes lean is used where i live and i thought it was cuter. if you've got any problems with it, you're free to use leo instead :)

summary: the four times you notice leandro's not sleeping well, and the one time he finally does.

wc: 1.400 words

01.

the first time you notice that leandro's not getting enough sleep, it's during practice. your job is to keep them healthy, not only on the physical aspect and thus, on the pitch, but off the green grass too. you've noticed he's been a little off lately, not really focused on the task given and rather looking zoned out. so when practice's over, you approach him carefully.

"hey, leandro, are you okay?" you softly said, grabbing lightly his bicep to stop him from getting onto the changing rooms. he stops when he feels your touch, and turns to face you, concerned look showing on your features which transmitted onto his own. "yeah, why do you ask?" he frowned, while tilting his head in confusion.

"you look... tired?".

the affirmation you said isn't quite what he expected to hear from you. leandro doesn't get mad at you, but he doesn't look happy either. "oh" he mutters, assuming that you're implying that he looks bad. "no no, you look good" you rush to justify, cheeks getting profusely warmer at the confession that slipped from your lips. "just that you could use a nap, you know?".

"yeah, i could," leandro smiled, showing his pearly white teeth. "i'll take your advice. thank you, y/n."

02.

"how was your weekend?" the belgian asks, lightly leaning into the coffee vending machine situated on the end of the corridor. you were supposed to be watching the players, supervising them, but the air on london colney was too cold right now, and you needed a hot beverage to warm you up. leandro, on the other hand, should be warming up already, but instead was too distracted making small talk with you. "catching up on sleep, really needed it. you?".

"i did that too," he commented nonchalantly, rushing to get to your side once you started making your way towards the pitch again, leaving him behind. "sleeping for four hours isn't catching up on sleep, trossard," you deadpanned. it isn't the first time that you reprimanded him about how many hours he rested through the night, but leandro always pushed it off. "five hours is enough for you?".

"that's three hours less than the minimum required".

03.

"are you asleep?".

leandro's voice brings you back to consciousness, even if it was through a soft whisper. you're quite annoyed at being woken up so suddenly, and it shows in your response to his question. "clearly," you mutter, but remain still as you were before, giving the impression that you could fall asleep again any second. "c'mon, liefje, don't be mean," he whispers, while gently tapping your shoulder to catch your attention. you begrudgingly take the mask that was covering your eyes to sleep off, and look at him through tired eyes. "what is it, lean?".

things had started to get more personal lately, hence the utilization of the dutch pet name the arsenal player had given you a couple of weeks ago. in return, you adopted the nickname lean -short for leandro- for him, and you were marveled at how easy it seemed with him suddenly. calling him lean felt right, just as him calling you little treasure in his mother tongue felt.

"should have told you before you agreed to sit with me, but i'm kinda scared of airplanes".

you didn't want to laugh at him, but the giggle left your mouth without warning you. part of his job involved him travelling around to places, so it seemed kinda funny to you that he would be scared of planes. leo faked getting angry at your impromptu reaction, but it was quickly swapped to a pout that made your heart swell. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to laugh at you", you apologized, before continuing "what do you need me to do? do you need some sleeping pills? for me to sing you a song? hold your hand?".

the artificial light on the plane lets you see just barely how his cheeks turn into a slightly reddish color. "t-that's actually a good idea. i think. if you're up for it."

you don't know if it's your need to reassure him, or that you want to go back to sleep as soon as possible, but you extend your arm quickly, searching for his left hand that's resting awkwardly on his lap. the armrest separating both of you isn't the most practical thing, making his arm fall weirdly into your seat and, for sure, causing him discomfort. you drop his hand before trying to raise the armrest, and at first, he doesn't quite understand why you dropped his palm. until you grab it again without him having to tell you twice, and he smiles when he feels you mindlessly drawing circles onto the back of his hand.

"goodnight, my pretty little sleep deprived boy".

04.

the entire team has just arrived at the stadium where arsenal is supposed to play in a few hours. you're all waiting for the call to actually enter the facility, and meanwhile, you're keeping conversation with martin, -seated by your side now-, leandro and kiernan.

you're not paying attention to what they're saying, though, because you're keeping an eye on the belgian. when he yawns, again, you can't help but call him out for it. "leandro, that’s the third time in the last two minutes that you’ve yawned", you chastised, and martin at your side whips is head just in time to catch his teammate yawning a fourth time.

"i promise i'm not tired. i slept well last night", he assures, and you frown, not quite believing it due to the dark circles under his eyes, just a shade darker than they were the day before. "i'll make sure he takes a nap after this game, y/n", the boy seated at his side promises, patting his back lovingly. soon enough, martin joins too. "you'll need to stay with him, kiernan. he told me once he needs to have someone by his side to sleep well".

05.

tonight, you were at his house for the first time. like friends. leandro had set up a movie for you to watch, and some snacks on the little table nearby for you two to eat from. your sense of time isn't the best, but you can guess that it's been almost halfway through the movie. but at this point, you're not sure if the man at your side is even paying attention right now. it's been about 20 minutes since he retorted to rest his head on your lap, and you didn't oppose it, instead starting to caress his long locks mindlessly.

the soft snores catched your attention right away, but you didn't have the heart to wake him up. not when he looks so cute while sleeping, and certainly not when you know he's not the best at sleeping through the night.

eventually, the movie ends, and even if you try not to move too much, you're sure your left leg has gone numb by now. leandro seems to be a light sleeper, because at the littlest movement from you, he's already awake.

"did i fall asleep?" he ask, voice hoarse from sleep. he normally has soft, puppy eyes, but now that they're filled with sleepiness, the sight is even cuter to you. "yeah, you did," you giggle, and he drives his hands to his face, hiding away, embarrassed. he doesn't get to catch onto your lovesick stare, and you're kinda grateful for it.

"ey, no. don't feel bad about it. i actually thought it was pretty cute," you reassure, although, just like the first time you complimented him, it's something that slips past your lips. you get to see the little wrinkles near his eyes, where his hands don't quite cover, before he turns, giving his back to the television. leandro continues hiding his face, but now on your tummy, your sweatshirt muffling the plea that he slowly mutters. "can you stay with me tonight? i can't seem to fall asleep on my own these days".

your cheeks go warm at the implication that you might be what he needs to have a well rested night of sleep. during the little nap he took, he barely moved, and even if it wasn't the most comfortable position -his legs were cramped up together- his sleep seemed to be peaceful. "y-yeah, if it's what you need to sleep well".

"almost sure you're what i need, liefje".

[writingsofwesteros]

https://www.tumblr.com/writingsofwesteros/766128564021149696/tywins-horse-is-very-particular-about-people-who?source=share

Tywin setting out a plan to catch her in action. Which he does

"so this is why my horse is getting braided and chubby"

Stev turning around like bolt before smiling sheepishly "he ain't chubby"

"yet"

"I know how to keep his oatcake intake in control thank you for your advice" she says sharply but smiling. Tywin sighs as he now steps next to her.

"he has grown fond of you, My lady" he deduces looking at how Silver was now nibbling at her hair. Which she cared not about.

Tywin's lip twitching. Many other ladies would have screamed at the idea of their hair being nibbled by a dirty horse but not his Stev. Shit shit shit. He meant Stev. Not his Stev. Not his. He was very platonic and schemy not in love. Quit lying to yourself Tywin

"oatcakes can do wonders" she says "he is a prime spesimen" she then says "you hardly see them with this strong flank anymore. This isn't a show horse this is a healthy working horse"

Tywin smirks "I didn't get Silver to be pretty. Though I can't say he works much either" he sighs letting his own hand rest on the white stallions neck. "Your father knew a great deal of horses. He adviced me to get a horse from a farm in the outskirts of Lannisport. Bred for working not for showing off. Their back is born healthier that way"

Stev nods "it's true. Silver might not work like a common working horse but his shape is healthy so it can take strain If needed" she muses.

Silver ever the comedian decides to lift his head high from between them, not high enough to get above Tywin's head but definitely above stev's. And he lowers his head Back down behind Stev, giving a strong nudge. Causing Stev to step right into Tywin's chest.

Smirking down at her tywin leans his mouth to her ear "tell me, My doe, how many layers are beneath those skirts for me to peel off before someone sees us?"

THE CUTEST HORSE EVER !!

Oh you know the sweet boy has something to say about Tywin calling him chubby.

[gaypolls]

ok i just said it doesn't really bother me but i do wanna rant a little bc it's SO insane to claim that you're only a real homosexual if you've never felt an ounce of attraction to ANYONE but your own gender... as though True Attraction is easily defined and quantifiable for everyone? as though gendered attraction is in and of itself something that involves some essence of other people's genders or whatever and not just what you percieve???

think of how many twinks have mistaken for butches and vice versa lmao. is everyone involved in those funny little mixups not a real gay anymore? hell, what about gay people in the closet who can't quite accept their attraction to their own gender yet but their "type" of the "appropriate" gender is effeminate guys/tomboys? if someone wants to enter the gay identity do they absolutely HAVE to renounce all past attraction to the "opposite" gender as fake? why? says who? why would it not be enough to say "i'm significantly happier and feel more natural embracing attraction to, and being with, my own gender"?

like yeah, personally, i do deem the attraction that i used to think i had for women as fake. but i'm an incredibly self-aware and self-analytical and generally In My Head person. i can look in there and see the throughline and know the exact reason i thought i liked girls, and hell, i can even remember the conscious thoughts i had where i was forcing myself to feel it. but i do NOT expect everyone to be the same?? like that would be insane. if everyone was as self-aware as me, specifically. that's not healthy lol.

but anyway, on that same vein, repression and the closet are seriously powerful things. there may have been a layer of conscious attempt to be masculine in the mix, but when i was 16 and searching for things to appreciate in girls' appearances and, because i was trying so hard, sometimes finding them, and acheiving that abstract feeling of attraction that i was looking for... would it really be SO insane if i now wanted to say that yes, i have been attracted to women, and i just got over it?

when i say that i'm not attracted to women now, that doesn't even mean that i have never been attracted to a single woman. it means that womanhood and femininity does not inherently appeal to me. that's where "exceptions" come in - it's literally not that deep. it's when you recognize that you're feeling something, and maybe you're unsure but it seems at least attraction-adjacent, but it's not related to the prerequisite of gender that's usually on your capacity for attraction; it's in spite of it. i have to imagine that the majority of the time when this happens, it's because the person is in fact somewhat androgynous, or some part of you percieved this person as the gender you do like when you weren't conscious of it, or there's some aspect of their appearance that has the right gendered "energy" to you. and sometimes people just look really fucking interesting, or people are just excpetionally beautiful, and it hits you so hard that it seems like attraction but you're really just in a brief moment of awe! sometimes you just enter the cosmic soup for a second!

and feeling superior about having never had this happen to you is... well, it's just that, isn't it? it's purely about feeling superior. i honestly don't even believe that it's truly the case for that one person. i feel like the internal need to say shit like that has got to come from an insecurity about the fact that you're not that "true homosexual" that you're claiming deserves to never be implied to have things in common with all other gay people.

furthermore... the notion of it being homophobic to identify as gay when you're "not 100% internally homosexual"? well i mean obviously that's the terf shit. it's the braindead idea that other people's identities take anything away from you. as if anyone actually identifies as gay "when they're actually bi" just for fun and not because their "straight" attraction is extremely incidental and/or just does not preclude actually acting on it... like duh, lol. and even if it was for fun, it literally still takes nothing. it's a completely imaginary danger.

and it's so batshit in particular bc going out of your way to harass other gay people and tell them they're not gay is objectively the fucking homophobic thing??? like how on earth do you see yourself as the better person here. christ lol

[irondad-defensesquad]

he literally never thought he'd hire a veterinarian, but tony figured he should at least check on the little void's health.

it's a nice young woman who's also very gentle with the cat. funnily enough, the feline doesn't seem to be afraid of her. pets are usually freaked out by vets, aren't they? and considering he's probably never been to one...

apparently, in her words, the cat is "a fighter". he must have been living in the streets for years and she's surprised that he's relatively healthy. he's just underweight for not eating very well and there are a few scars here and there, but they're not obvious.

besides the vaccines, she prescribes a few things for the middle aged cat to eat. tony is about to clarify to her that he isn't really the owner when she asks:

"does he have a name?"

"oh, no, he's- he's not mine." something tells him that the cat is judging him in the meantime. "my kid decided to bring him home and i'm just making sure the cat is okay."

she looks surprised. "you have a kid?"

tony didn't realize what he was saying.

but honestly, at this point... who cares?

"... you could say that," he shrugs.

"oh." she doesn't pry, at least. "well, i still hope you can take care of him even if for a little while. you could foster him and then ask if someone wants to adopt him once he's healthy."

tony hums, "that's not a bad idea, actually."

"personally, though, i think you'd be a good owner."

he's honestly shocked to hear that. why does she think that way? well, he's paying her. but the veterinarian sounds so truthful... she must know about his life, right? and yet she doesn't judge him for having a kid or for presumably owning a cat.

"you let me know if something comes up, okay?" she tells him.

"of course. thank you."

as she's packing her things, she observes tony and the cat for a moment. then the woman is smiling.

"what?" he asks.

"i'm sorry, he just looks so much like you."

tony rolls his eyes but he's not very annoyed, to be fair.

"i've been told that."

she leaves and he stands there with many thoughts in his head. and the little void is just staring at him, like he's pleading tony to give him a name and toys and plastic pots...

"don't look at me like that," tony scoffs. "you're not my cat."

(he knows that if he looks at the cat back, that might as well change.)

he just hopes peter gets here soon to get the little void someone better for him.

[lovezbrownies]

not Gen going full on crazy as if she couldn’t go any more crazier 💀

but honestly Gen commuting cannibalism is scary 😨 imagine living a loving and finally healthy lives maybe with kids. Then BOOM Gen returns kills your wife and makes her into a stew/soup/meal and forced you to eat your wife. God forbids if you had kids with another women but besides all that horror… I personally believe Reina would be able to hide successfully. NOT BEING BIASEDi am but I feel like she’ll know Gen the most and she’ll move her family far away sneakily during a period amount of time to not raise suspicion. She’ll also change names, looks, and even mannerisms of hers and of ours too I fully believe because she strikes me as someone who would not sleep well at night with the thought of ever being caught. I mean I would too if I escaped with the “lover” of a crazed general/leader of an army

-🌪️

Hello!! I loved this ask, really got my creative flow going :3 So writing this I realize I have given so many different scenarios, since this is a cute little side story, you can pick the ending you like, if Gen does find you and take you back, or if Reina successfully hides from Gen and lives a happy long life with you.

Masterlist.

Gen Ludenhart x Reader x Reina.

Warnings: Suicide, slight paranoia from Reina.

Who will win, the crazy nutjob military chief, or the super intelligent personal maid of said military chief? I also think Reina would be smart enough to completely hide away from Gen and have the happy life with you that she deserved. Or maybe Gen did find Reina but a new friend of Reina's warned her of some crazy looking woman on the way to their home, since you two didn't have a lot to begin with Reina would make you go hide in another person's house first and deal with Gen alone. Will she initate a physical fight Gen? No, she has no clue how to fight, but she does have a bat behind her back as she tells Gen that she has no idea where you went, watching as Gen searches every inch of the house, when Gen's back is facing Reina, she would deal a quick blow to Gen's head and run as a disoriented Gen falls over trying to catch up.

I love love Reina's little side story so much.

Reina would know a lot of Gen's habits, probably raided Gen's office a while before she took you away to get a better understanding of Gen's logic and thinking. OR Reina wouldn't live in a village, nearby one sure, but not in one so no one can see the two of you. When she needs produce all she'll do is hide her face, maybe she'll start mirroring Gen and hide you away until you get upset with her forcing her to realize how paranoid she has been.

In the scenario that Gen doesn't find you, there's a 50/50 where she might kill herself after so long without the love of her life, sure she may have mistreated you, but why would you ever leave her? She's rich, she's tall, she's so hot right? Was she not enough for you? If she isn't enough for you then she isn't enough for anyone. If she does end her life, no one will know for a long time, she's completely isolated herself from the rest of the world by now of course, Grim is the one that ends up finding her, he'd check up on his sister once a month, and now he found his sister's rotting body in her bedroom, papers filled with your name lying everywhere.

Or on the other hand, she finally listens to her brother and gets some psychological help. It takes her a long time, but she gets over you as much as she can. Gen's still deathly in love with you, but now she can still live without you. Instead of begging to get her job back, Gen would just go and travel the world, becoming a much more mellow slightly crazy person.

[lily-janus]

Take A Break

Summary: Logan first thinks of Janus as a smart but lazy person, but he's about to be proven wrong.

Pairing: pre-romantic loceit

Warnings: none that I can think of but do let me know if I missed any.

Word count: 1,225

For @loceitweek day 3 Law School/Astronamy

(I have no idea how law school work so it might sound more like regular school but bare with me😅)

-----------------

"...and then I will argue that the evidence is not really reliable because- are you listening?" Logan stopped his explanation, noticing that his… partner was, once again, not paying attention.

"Hm?" Janus hummed, focusing his gaze on Logan's own, "were you saying something?" He smirked, knowing full well how that will annoy Logan.

"You know as well as I that I've been," he used air quotes, " 'saying something', for the past hour. We need to do this assignment perfectly, Janus." Logan said, exasperated by his classmate.

Okay, don't tell Janus that, but Logan really does think Janus was an incredibly intelligent person, there were multiple occasions throughout the semester where Janus had impressed Logan with his arguments.

That being said, Janus had a tendency to be… extremely frustrating. Acting cocky and smug most of the time, egging people on with no more reason than simple amusement… and, of course, his cryptic way of behaving. And, for some unknown reason, Janus seems to enjoy annoying Logan the most out of all their classmates.

Always cornering him after lectures, arguing with him during lessons no matter what side he chooses, or are assigned to.

So, when they were chosen to work this assignment together… Logan was, at the very least, not pleased. Not that he'd ever defy the will of their teacher, so he was stuck with his smug classmates who didn't seem to care enough to even listen to Logan's ideas.

Janus shrugged, "maybe I know that, and maybe I don't, I could have a very short attention span for all you know about me, which isn't much besides my brilliant intelligence that I repeatedly show in class." Janus smirked smugly again.

Logan let out a frustrated sigh, "can we just be serious long enough to finish this?" He asked, on the verge of begging. He never ever failed at anything and he's not about to let Janus change that.

Janus groaned, "Jesus, Teach, ever heard of relaxing? We still got months until the due date." He pointed out.

"While true, you neglect the fact that this assignment is only one out of many others we have from other classes, plus my reputation to hand in assignments early-" but he was interrupted by another, rather exaggerative, groan from Janus.

"You talk a lot." Janus complained.

Logan could feel his eye twitching in annoyance, "well, it would seem like I'm the only one out of the two of us who's doing anything, why are you even in law school if you're not willing to put effort into anything?" Logan asked with a groan of his own, not really looking for an answer, mostly wanting to annoy Janus back.

But of course, that didn't work, as Janus' smirk only grew, seeming more satisfied the more frustrated Logan became. "I wouldn't say that, I put lots of effort into my studies, I'm just balancing it more so I won't get overwhelmed and burned out. Surely you can appreciate a healthy work balance, right Teach?"

Logan's fist hit the table, "stop calling me that!"

Janus was unphased, "how about… professor? Nerd? Glasses? Ooh, maybe Specs?"

"How about simply Logan?" Logan suggested, as calmly as he could.

Janus faked thinking it over before shaking his head, "nah, I like Specs best."

With a growl of frustration, Logan dropped his pen and pushed his chair away from the desk, "I think we're done for today.."

Janus clapped his hands together in glee before standing up, "marvelous! Same time next week?" He winked at Logan.

Logan blushed slightly at the gesture for some reason, "ah.. sure."

Janus smirked again, "it's a date, Specs!" He called as he walked out of Logan's dorms.

That statement caused Logan's blush to deepen, which was… odd.

…

"Oh he is totally flirting with you, Lo!" Roman, his roommate, said after Logan finished telling him about Janus.

Logan huffed, "I doubt annoying me is considered flirting." Roman was being ridiculous again, there's no way!

Roman shook his head with a sigh, "sometimes I forget how little you understand about the delicate art of romance." He said, "it's because he likes you!"

Logan almost laughed at Roman's statement, "that's absurd, we're both completely different and he always gets out of his way just to get a rise out of me and… always corners me after class and…" he trailed off in thought.

"And trying to get your attention and more time to be with you?" Roman finished for him with a knowing smile.

The more Logan thought about it now, the more Roman's explanation made sense… is he feeling the same way?

"Oh my stars! You're blushing! You like him too! Oh, the robot finally found his heart!" Roman swooned, placing both his hands on his heart in a dramatic gesture.

Logan shook his head, "n-no, no. Janus doesn't like me and I don't like him."

Roman was still smiling knowingly at him, "ah ha, sure, whatever you say, Calculator Watch." He winked at him.

…

"You're late." Logan said when Janus finally showed up to their second meeting to work on their assignment.

As usual, Janus was unphased, he simply walked in, took his seat on Roman's red beanbag, put his legs up on a chair and leaned back on his hands. Choosing the most dramatic position to show his carefree attitude towards this assignment that they were supposed to work on together.

"Sorry, Specs, it took longer than I thought it would, but I'm here now aren't I?" Janus looked up at Logan to where he sat in front of his work desk.

"It?" Logan asked, "what were doing that took so long?" He asked, barely two seconds passed and he was already starting to get annoyed. What could possibly be more important than law school? Does Janus hold no regards to-

"Our assignment, of course." Janus said casually, halting Logan's thoughts in their place for a minute.

"Excuse me?" Logan asked, surely he didn't hear that correctly.

Janus smirked and handed Logan the notebook he's been holding, "o-u-r a-ssign-ment." He said slowly, emphasizing every syllable.

Eyeing Janus suspiciously, Logan took the notebook and looked it over… he really did do it…

Janus suddenly hopped to his feet, offering Logan his hand, "now that the boring stuff is out of the way, it's time for you to relax with me." He smirked at him.

Logan frowned, "what do you mean?"

Janus sighed, "I really need to spell it out to you, huh?" He chuckled to himself, "fine. Logan, will you go on a date with me?"

Logan flushed a deep red, "b-but there's still work to-"

"Logan." Janus cut him off, suddenly serious, "you really need to learn to take breaks from time to time, you're not helping anyone by running yourself to the ground."

"I'm… not running anywhere, let alone to the ground…" Logan stammered, trailing off.

Janus snickered again, "it means you're overworking yourself, c'mon, I'll take you to my favorite Cafe' on campus." Janus gently grabbed one of his hands and tagged on it.

Still flushing, Logan gave in, putting Janus' notebook on his desk before standing up and following Janus.

Perhaps Janus had a point, he doesn't remember taking a single break other than sleep since the start of semester. And, well, Janus wasn't the worst person to take his first break with…