#who'd have thought i'd psychoanalyse this

[king-wilhelm]

There's something so alarmingly vulnerable about the scene where gaon asks yohan to join them for a game night. I've been putting this one off forever so here we go

We learn from the priest that yohan has always been someone who never fit in. The kids around him chalked it up to him being weird, disturbing even. When in reality, he was just a child who wanted friends. Being treated like an outcast at such a young age is incredibly damaging to a child and its the kind of trauma that you carry forever. Which is what happened, right? People constantly showed him he didn't belong and he eventually believed in it. And as time went by, he modeled his whole personality around it. As miserable as that sounds, it's not actually, the worst thing on the planet. Eventually, you get used to it so much that you stop noticing it.

But what about here, in this scene? Here yohan is in a place where he has family, he has people. He knows he's not alone. Yet, you see him hesitate. Because that's what happens when your childhood trauma catches up with you. Even after you've found your people, you feel like you can never truly fit in, like you'll constantly stay stuck at the edge, like if you try to go any further, it'll all go up in smoke.

Somehow though, there's still a twisted part of your brain that tells you that what you have is a luxury. That this is as good as it gets and that it's infinitely better than the alternative. And on most nights, you're fine, happy even. But you'll always have moments where you want more because just being near the light and warmth and laughter isn't enough. You want to touch it, feel it for yourself. But you never know how to. So you say you're not into it, like you couldn't be bothered to indulge in simple pleasures. And all it takes is for one person to see through the facade of indifference.

Which is exactly what gaon did. he went to the priest to dig up dirt on yohan and ended up empathizing with the little kid who just wanted someone to reach out(OF COURSE HE DID). When he invited yohan to join them, he didn't use a lot of words, because that'll make him act all defensive. Didn't mock/force him, because it's a sore spot.

He just stood there, silently saying, "you belong with us. You know you belong with us. But if you ever had a doubt, this is me telling you, we want you" and yohan? Well, that's precisely what he needed. Someone who would choose him, willingly, explicitly.

All gifs by @b612sunsets ❤️

[king-wilhelm]

Okay you know what, all jokes aside, that little conversation with Mobius felt a little like therapy. Like the beginnings of it anyway. We've only ever seem loki be treated as a villain, a criminal, an ally, a brother or a son. We've never actually seen him for who he really is. Never had a stranger talk to him for anything other than mutual benefit/accusation/interrogation.

Loki's been indulging his every impulse, going from one reckless decision to another and we never got to know his reason for it. He seems irritated at every question Mobius asks and deflects at every turn. When Mobius asks him, "What makes loki tick?" we certainly don't know. Question is, does he?

"It's an illusion. A cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate attempt at control" Loki, buddy...

That's exactly what he has always been doing. A desperate attempt to control, to make his own choices and not have his fate decided for him.