#who doesn't really make sense to tag given that they're only not phoenix in the secret good version of apollo justice in my head

[iridescentoracle]

okay so. potentially controversial opinion i guess but apollo justice (the game, though actually also the character) was kind of a mess. i wanted to like it, there was a ton of potential, but the execution just did not work for me at all. but it’s been haunting me for weeks and (unlike dual destinies, which also didn’t really work for me but i cannot for the life of me figure out why) i know exactly what i didn’t like about apollo justice and how i would fix it if capcom decided to remake AA4–AA6 and inexplicably put me in charge. fair warning this is at least 80% complaining by volume about what they didn’t do/what they did do that i hated though.

like, okay, here’s the thing. it’s a new story. phoenix has had his arc, we’re moving on to a new main character, he isn’t the protagonist anymore. it makes sense to move him into a mentor/boss role while our new protagonist takes over as the plucky young newbie who doesn’t really know what he’s doing. the problem is that everything about how the game does that kind of sucks.

like. AJ phoenix gets totally shafted for the sake of not letting him be a good mentor, so that apollo has to figure things out on his own, but apollo isn’t really treated right by the narrative either, because the plot is so much about phoenix that apollo is like. weirdly peripheral to the whole thing even though he’s nominally the protagonist. like it’s super obvious that the whole reason phoenix isn’t an attorney anymore and is all ✨ mysterious✨ and ✨secretive✨ is literally just so that apollo doesn’t actually like. have a good mentor who can teach him things? like the entire plot/backstory is just a post-hoc excuse bc the starting point of the game was clearly someone going “well we’re not allowed to not have phoenix in the game, but we can’t let him be someone apollo can actually rely on, so we have to find some excuse to make him weird and mysterious and uncommunicative and also not a lawyer just for good measure bc otherwise he wouldn’t leave a kid hanging like that” and everything else was built up to justify that.

but as if it’s not bad enough that it all requires shattering phoenix’s perfectly good reasonably-happy-ending from the previous game, by extension everyone else gets screwed over too?? like, maya was very explicitly traumatized by the kurain channeling legacy to the point of briefly not wanting to identify herself as a spirit medium. pearl was sheltered from some of the worst of it but was aware of enough to blame herself for bad things happening to the point of trying to run away. the credits definitely made it seem like they both bounced right back after all but frankly i was not convinced they weren’t going to both collapse as soon as the figurative camera looked away again and the most plausible short-term outcome to me was that they would wind up both moving in with phoenix for a while in the near future like maya all but said she wanted to do!! she called herself “the assistant manager at Wright & Co. Law Offices” and said she “[didn’t] want any more to do with [the Fey clan],” that is IN the TEXT i am not reading too much into things here those are her words! i’m fine with her potentially changing her mind again and resuming her training again and moving back to kurain after all when she’s had some time to recover from everything but like. when she’s had some time. she deserved more than two months and i hate so much that she didn’t get it.

on the flip side, again, i get the choice to deliberately not-include edgeworth in this one but i swear to god it should have taken him and phoenix like. maybe four months to finish getting their act together and that’s being generous and counting the month it takes him to wrap things up in europe and move back to japanifornia. i’m pretty sure edgeworth figured out how he felt when he got the phone call from larry about the bridge if he hadn’t already by then and i think phoenix simultaneously realized and refused to realize how he felt during the year he thought edgeworth is dead, bc neither of them can just be normal about feeling things ever, so give them a second for phoenix to stop repressing shit and also mention that he’s absolutely not going to get back together with iris when she gets out of jail and they Will sort themselves out and they Will kiss and i give it like a year tops before they get married. they have a courthouse wedding obviously and get the judge to officiate. 50/50 chance they wind up proposing in the middle of a trial and get married during the next recess.

and in canon there’s not time for all that to have happened bc the next game requires phoenix to have promptly turned into an arrogant asshole and then gotten royally fucked over by the universe and become a totally different person (again, at that, because he’s already a completely different person in the flashback to his last case, why does he act like the paynes that whole time i hate it), but like. this is what i’m saying. phoenix getting screwed over by the universe/writing also screws all his friends over too.

so i just. this game does such a disservice to phoenix’s entire character, and all of his friends, and also the entire first three games and anyone who loved them. it’s not all bad and the person phoenix has been turned into—“has been turned into,” not “has turned into,” because the hand of the writers is so visible, i can’t engage with this game on a fully watsonian level for the life of me because phoenix’s hoodie might as well say DOYLE CHOSE TO DO THIS TO ME. this is a fictional character being written by real people and the real people wrote him in a manner entirely incompatible with his original characterization and i cannot get past it—is fascinating but it isn’t phoenix. i love the plot but i hate the execution. i like the ingredients but the recipe sucks.

but it could have been so good. and at this point i’ve mostly worked out how.

you have the exact same scenario with the gramarye trial, is the thing, up through the point where phoenix wins the poker game and shadi enigmar/zak gramarye asks him to be his lawyer, and phoenix accepts—and then phoenix, like, gets a phone call from maya or pearl bc it turns out one of them just got hurt, or they’ve both come down with some kind of stomach bug or food poisoning or something, some temporary emergency that’s just severe enough that they need more help/care for a day or two than phoenix could give while also handling a case, but that won’t actually last all that long.

so he turns down the case apologetically bc oh my god i’m so sorry actually, family emergency, i gotta go right now, best of luck, and shadi/zak moves on to defense attorney number three: a different, brand new character, another rising star defense attorney around the same point in their career as phoenix, and that’s who winds up using the forged diary page and getting disbarred and turning into the bitter jaded inscrutable asshole mentor who years later will manipulate apollo into exposing his own boss as a murderer, and then technically hire apollo but not actually, like, teach him anything or help out in any meaningful way, etc.

but meanwhile, three facts about this series of events:

8yo trucy is still the unwitting catalyst for the lawyer defending her father using forged evidence that destroys his career, and her father still vanishes and leaves her behind

within a couple days, pearl and maya are basically fine

phoenix wright’s best friend was once a kid barely older than trucy is now who suddenly found himself with no family, and as a result was taken in by someone who had a deep and abiding grudge against both him and his father because of what they did, through no real fault of their own, to him/his career.

and since phoenix did meet shadi/zak and turned his case down, he has every reason to be curious about how the trial went, and to pick up either from the general news coverage (which, considering what a big deal phoenix’s disbarment in canon was, i assume there is A Lot Of,) or to realize bc his personal curiosity/almost-connection means he actively looks into things, that there is a kid who has been left behind and who currently has no one to take care of her. and you cannot tell me that phoenix would look at this kid whose best-case scenario is currently getting swept into the foster care system bc god forbid she actually winds up getting taken in by the only adult even vaguely associated with her at this point, bc phoenix has seen that story before, and not decide on the spot to adopt her himself

and so just like that, we have

phoenix accidentally escaping the whole gramarye trial entirely unscathed

but still adopting trucy

pearl and maya still living with phoenix a couple months post-T&T instead of immediately getting packed off back to kurain

no changes that actually significantly impact apollo for most of the game bc all that’s really different for him is the name of his inscrutable jerk mentor and the fact that he’s gotta wind up meeting/being-befriended-by trucy a little differently

so by the time the actual present-day plot of the game kicks off, phoenix and company are still out there doing their thing with phoenix getting to be his best self and living his best life. he still gets his adorable adopted daughter who he loves dearly. we still don’t actually see maya or edgeworth or pearl in this version of the game but there’s allusions to them all being very present in his-and-trucy’s lives—trucy brings us over to their apartment at some point and we see a stack of steel samurai dvds in the corner and a laundry basket with unidentifiable clothes in suspiciously familiar shades of purple/pink/magenta, details like that. we only see phoenix himself for like, maybe five minutes total over the course of the first three and a half cases and it’s a little tantalizing but he gets to be the one who bursts into the courthouse with the decisive evidence that lets our protagonist win the last case.

and meanwhile, apollo’s current boss is shady and inscrutable and used to be a lawyer and can even be involved in some ✨ secret mission ✨ that he won’t talk about that turns out to be the jurist system, so we can hypothetically keep whatever the intended message of that whole thing was (which, argh, what do you DO with the jurist system. what is the intended message. i get that it’s satire of a then-contemporary development in japan’s legal system but i can’t figure out for the life of me what the satire is actually meant to say), and then at the end of the game Apollo’s Shitty Mentor is proven to have been innocent and will be allowed to take the bar again if he wants to but he’s not entirely sure bc at this point it’s been so long that he might just prefer to move on entirely now that his actual disbarment/disgrace isn’t hanging over his head bc he honestly did used to be a pretty stand-up guy but the last seven years have been rough and he doesn’t really like the person he’s turned into and maybe it would be healthier to treat this as a fresh start and try something entirely new so he’s going to take some time away from the whole legal system first to clear his head before he figures out whether or not he actually wants to dive back in.

and apollo’s like “well that’s totally understandable and sounds great for you but goddammit do i really have to go back to the endless nightmare that is job applications, i hate this actually” and phoenix (who is also in the defense lobby where this whole conversation is taking place) is like “why don’t you come work for me?”

you could even have it end on a joke where apollo is shocked about the offer bc he applied to work for phoenix six months ago and phoenix is like ???? i never saw that?? and it turns out apollo applied via email but phoenix still sucks at computers and only checks his work email like once a year.

seriously though i do not understand what we’re supposed to think about the jurist system. is it supposed to be that fucked up? i’m not actually sure how we’re supposed to feel abt that tbh but it sounds like maybe it’s not supposed to seem like an actually better alternative? like it felt to me like it was being framed as a triumph for our belovèd hero, isn’t this great that he was able to arrange things so everything would turn out all right after all etc, but it was so obviously fucked up and unethical—like, oh, yeah, having one guy in charge of assigning the defense attorney, the judge, and the jury sounds totally fine and like it’s actually going to be more reliably ethical than the system that’s already in place, for sure, not to mention the possibility that edgeworth was pulling strings to help phoenix make it happen and be involved, because nepotism and people in law enforcement/the justice system pulling strings to put people they like in positions of authority that they probably shouldn’t have specifically so that they can do things like “rig a jury,” on purpose, is fine bc i like these guys who are doing/benefiting from the nepotism so therefore it’s not wildly unethical and an obviously terrible idea, oh my god—that it feels like it has to be on purpose?

and like in practice it just… the jurist system as it’s actually implemented is worse actually. it’s genuinely worse and less ethical than the established system where the judge was about to let kristoph gavin off scot-free for the crimes he wasn’t already convicted of.

that said it’s like. very funny on a conceptual level. yet another thing that makes sense if the games are set in japan bc sure of course fictional kinda goofy japan has a more ridiculous version of the thing that’s being implemented in real-life japan right now, but when localized the implications are buck-fucking-wild

because. okay. japanifornia exclusively has bench trials or whatever they’re called for some reason. i have questions about why that’s legal given the existence of the sixth amendment but sure fine the japanifornian legal system is deeply fucked up in many new and interesting ways and that is clearly just one of them. but you’re telling me that the entire concept of trial by jury is strange and new to a lawyer? like. did the entire country just. ditch the sixth amendment before apollo was born? why is this a brand new concept instead of, you know, how things work in every other state. i have so many questions that do not need answers. thank god these games are old enough to have gotten localized it’s so much funnier this way.

ANYWAY. SO. yeah. make apollo’s inscrutable asshole so-called mentor someone other than phoenix wright, have way less of phoenix in the game actually bc he’s off living his best life and having a thriving career with very little reason to think about how kristoph gavin exists, and meanwhile write apollo with All That Backstory in mind from the start though 95% of the actual info should still be saved for game 6, we’re just trying to write apollo so he’s not completely flat and frankly pretty forgettable at times and also including foreshadowing so the khura’in thing isn’t a very obvious retcon when we get there, and turn klavier into an actual person, and that’s like. 95% of my frustrations with the game fixed right there (the other 5% is “i still can’t tell what we’re actually supposed to think/feel about the jurist system” but like. i can’t tell what we’re supposed to think/feel so i don’t know how to fix it).

well okay also the like, pacing and focus would need to be fixed so apollo’s incrutable jerk mentor isn’t the protagonist for half the last case to the point i forgot apollo existed, etc, but like. that’s the next level down of problems you know?

AND bonus points: splitting “phoenix” and “apollo’s inscrutable jerk mentor” into two separate characters automatically fixes yet another of the worst He Would Not Fucking Do Thats of the game, i.e. phoenix just. not telling trucy and apollo that they’re siblings and their mom is alive. bc apollo’s shitty mentor is the one who actually interacts with lamiroir offscreen, this phoenix never does, so apollo’s mentor is the one who has the opportunity to figure out who she is and that trucy and apollo are half-siblings, and they’re not his kids, apollo doesn’t even work for him anymore by the end of the game so what does he care whether she tells them, and meanwhile phoenix isn’t inexplicably hiding that information because he also doesn’t know. still relies on her continuing to hide her face professionally in the meantime (instead of being deeply stupid about the fact that she is super famous, twice, and if she goes around being Very Famous And Popular Singer Lamiroir someone will notice that she is very much also Very Famous And Popular Believed-Dead Magician Thalassa Gramarye and between the existence of the news and the existence of the internet her kids will inevitably find out, jesus CHRIST parts of this game are so badly written), but that’s a given

i have a whole bunch of other thoughts—mostly about klavier gavin bc he should be such a good character but he just doesn’t work, but also i think the structure of the last case would have to be pretty significantly modified to fix the pacing/structural/focus issues where our nominal protagonist is basically irrelevant for the bulk of the case, even while the plot would remain basically the same, but i haven’t figured out how the structure would be different bc that requires figuring out how to handle the whole jurist system thing—but that’s like. the coherent parts/the bulk of it, you know?

i think (really this is just a detail, not a major plot point, but it would have a pretty major impact thematically so it feels bigger than it is? so) the other main thing i would change—and this part isn’t actually real criticism bc it’s not, like, bad that they didn’t do this, and if they were going to make any changes there are a lot of things that should be higher on the list, but listen. zak and valant should’ve been brothers.

because like, first of all, the extra complexity of the relationship if they’re not just two random guys who met bc they were functionally coworkers/fellow students, and instead you have these two brothers with the same mentor and who are both in love with the same woman, and they both know that one of them is better at magic and their mentor’s favorite, and he’s also the one who the woman they’re both in love with loves back and has a kid with, etc? a favorite/least favorite child dynamic occurring spontaneously, presumably in adulthood, in their professional lives? like. it makes everything about their relationship with each other, and with magnifi, and zak’s relationship with thalassa, and valant’s relationship with trucy, way more complex and interesting without actually having to change anything else.

but then secondly, on top of all that, suddenly this is a game about siblings. zak & valant, apollo & trucy, and kristoph & klavier. suddenly you have these three different sibling relationships that are all very different but two of them actually get to be siblings but are super fucked up, and the last pair meet entirely by chance without any idea who the other person is or should be to them but wind up with the healthiest happiest relationship of the three? like, the tragedy of it, that apollo and trucy were separated by fate and literally no one knew they both existed except their own mother, who thought apollo was dead before trucy was ever born, and if not for whatever series of coincidences resulted in apollo happening to work for the man who ruined trucy’s father’s life and getting roped into that whole mess they might never have met at all, and as it was they lost however many years they could’ve had each other, etc etc, and yet despite it all they’re the ones who actually manage to be happy and, like, unconditionally positive presences in each other’s lives, while valant spends however long resenting zak for being magnifi-and-thalassa’s favorite and more talented and all that which presumably put a strain on their relationship bc being resented that deeply by someone that close to you for things that you don’t even actually control can’t feel good, and kristoph and klavier… [gestures vaguely] idk whatever they would feel about each other if the writers remembered klavier was supposed to be a person. and aside from the klavier bits all of that is in the game already, implicitly or explicitly, just waiting for someone to rewrite like three lines of dialogue so zak and valant aren’t Just Some Guys to each other.

anyway a lot of the other thoughts i have are like. details. it probably never gets established explicitly but phoenix probably never gets to know kristoph gavin that well, and conversely kristoph doesn’t care about phoenix bc he might not even know he would’ve been passed over for phoenix before the other guy. ema is friendlier bc even though she is still upset about being a detective and does still think klavier’s annoying, she doesn’t actively resent him for getting phoenix disbarred. also she’s already good friends with trucy. the biggest plot-difference that isn’t just a natural result of phoenix not getting disbarred is that i think phoenix has to be the one who gets hit by the car in 4-2 instead of that happening to apollo’s jerk mentor bc no other human being on the planet could get thrown thirty feet by a car and hit a telephone pole with his head and still only wind up with a sprained ankle out of the deal.