#while i do absolutely love haikaveh i'm just

[raazberry]

i have so many strong feelings abt kaveh i need hyv to release him from their basement already

[tearsofcalamity]

wriofucker's fine by me lol unless u have another nickname that'd be both as accurate & funny!

i wasn't too clear earlier; i think our mandatory education goes up to 9th grade, and then it's like a minimum of 4(ish) years for a uni degree. so it's not all that different lol

nahh im telling you i had one macroeconomics class once and it fried my fuckin brain. only reason i could stand it was because the professor was too right-brained for his own good (he'd start his lectures with a song he liked. i wrote a bunch of barely-relevant shit abt environmental pollution on the exam—he was super passionate abt it—and he just let me pass<3 loved that guy). ik i said it before but good luck on ur studies!! im sure you'll absolutely kill it out there. and, thank sm! i actually finished the short story assignment last night but im too scared to submit it jdhdj

im so glad you've got more kaveh brewing omg he's so<33 bit of a shame you're not into kavetham (they make me bite & scream) but that's just fine; more kaveh/reader for the world! except the world is me and nobody else<3 can u imagine teasing kaveh in public, maybe he's even all nice & plugged up, and you're warning him not to let a single person figure out what's going on bc he's for your eyes only<3 but it's so difficult and you're relentless and it feels so, so good... he doesn't even care about people finding out anymore, but he wants to be a good boy for you... phew. lord have mercy

HAHA WRIOFUCKER IT IS THEN!! happy to have a named anon :D

ohhhh I see I see! okay yeah so it's pretty similar just a few differences! I think the only reason I'm surviving my business/econ work is cause I've got a math-wired brain lmfao. I've got autism ("high functioning" but I don't really like that term for it, I think the more acceptable one is "low support needs") and I got the "math autism" as my friends put it so that's probably a bigger part of it. I like making spreadsheets and working out equations HAHA, also thank you for the well wishes I actually just found out I passed calc 2 with an 82% so I'm very happy about that!! I'm glad to hear you got your short story done as well, sounds like you're moving through it all good <3!!

HONESTLY I don't hate the ships (like either kavetham or haikaveh I think they're different? like some shippers put the top's name first or something?? I'm not 100% sure) like I TOTALLY see the chemistry don't get me wrong, I think it's mainly just that I get so sad seeing like nearly 0 kaveh content without alhaitham included. I love both of them but kaveh's got such a unique and deep story too, yet people often just kinda treat him like an accessory to alhaitham likely cause he's 4 star and haitham is 5 star so it turns me off of the ships a bit </3 still though that's so true MORE KAVEH/READER!!!!

oh don't even get me started on teasing kaveh in public there's so many ways you could do it and each one would make him squirm more than the last... shove a nice little vibrator deep inside of him, remote controlled of course, and enjoy watching his knees practically buckle every time you up the intensity. ooh, maybe he's giving a one-time academic seminar for some kshahrewar students and you just stand in the corner, grinning at him all the while while he shakes and tries his best to keep his voice level, praying his face isn't as red as it feels...

or play around with him in the tavern, sit right next to him and brush your hand along his inner thigh while he squirms, not sure whether he wants to move closer or further way from you... this one's easier to hide since his flushed cheeks could easily be attributed to a bit too much to drink, but once he's grabbing at your wrist to push your hand into his bulge at last, he knows by your stare that he's messed up. I mean, he hadn't kept his promise to be good, had he? guess you'll just have to rail him over his workbench back at home when he least expects it! (totally ignore his needs/pretend he's not acting super horny when you get back at first, though, he'll be so good for you when you finally do bend him over)

[crystallinestars]

I agree with you, it does feel very fetish-y because it is a fetish. I would say the fandom has done it more than Hoyoverse themselves, but Haikaveh fans have 'heterosexualized' ( I am aware that is not a word, but I am unable to think of a better term.. ) a pairing that they insist is exclusively gay. I am alarmed by the amount of people who refer to Kaveh as Alhaitham's wife and the jokes about Kaveh being on maternity leave is getting old very quickly. There is no problem with a feminine and masculine same-sex duo, but this.. is stereotyping and downright sexist. Why is the more emotional one the 'woman' in the relationship? Why is there even a 'woman' in it at all if it doesn't involve an actual one?!?! Kaveh is, in my opinion, a perfect balance of your typical femininity and masculinity. I see him as rather high maintenance, but that does not equal femininity in any way, shape or form. I have seen people say that with both Aventurine and Kaveh are feminine / gay because they dress nicely... 😟 That's especially weird with Kaveh, considering some of it is cultural, and perhaps it's apart of Aventurine's facade due to his lore. It makes me laugh, actually. And in one of your previous asks, I forgot how much people were crapping themselves over the one (1) shot of Alhaitham and Kaveh.. standing next to each other. I saw someone say that the way Kaveh sat in the scene where they were at home was gay and they provided a photo (you could only see a little bit of his thighs, ankles and below that. I'm pretty sure his ankles were only slightly crossed.) Then I saw someone else post a picture of them and spamming the caption with the f slur. I audibly gasped at both of them. You couldn't even see Kaveh's legs, and how do you 'sit' gay?!?! Being masculine is when you do not care for your appearance and have a rock hard eight pack, are as tall as a skyscraper or something, and walk in the stiffest way possible.. I don't know.. That's what others make it sound like. Others were saying that they were getting along and that meant they were in love in Cyno's new story quest. Cyno's second story quest was very good and I am so disappointed to see people making it all about Haikaveh and not even enjoying the actual story! These people are dead serious about all of this, too. It absolutely baffles me. On a lighter note, I'd like to propose a potential pairing. I enjoy them regardless of whether they are romantic or not; but what are your thoughts on Kaveh and Kokomi? I find Kokomi to be easy to pair others with, and overall I think her personality would be good for him. I'd say she has a good balance between being logical and being in tune with her emotions, which, IMO, is precisely the type of person Kaveh needs. They're both very sweet and very pretty, too! 💗 I've been tempted to make a list of characters and what kind of personalities / types of people I think would be good for them, just for fun. Thank you for listening to all of our rambles! - 🪷🪽 ( To answer your question from before, I'll use both of these emojis, if that's all right ♡ )

Yes, you can be 🪷🪽!

I’ve already talked at length with another Anon about the feminization of Kaveh by fandom, and the heterosexual dynamics frequently applied to mlm pairings, so if you're curious, you can look at the post here.

I completely agree with your point that BL pairings get reduced to one guy being depicted as masculine, while the other as more feminine. It’s ironic since neither of them are women, but it’s something that happens A LOT. The pregnancy and Alhaitham’s wife jokes are straight up uncomfortable for me, and I really hate what fandom did to Kaveh.

Just because he dresses well and is more emotional, he gets painted as feminine because those traits are traditionally associated with women. I went into this more in-depth in the linked post, so I won’t repeat my points again, but in short: people need to stop associating certain traits with femininity and submission.

Kaveh is very masculine. He carries himself and behaves just like any other man, so it’s a massacre of his character to say he’s a feminine babygirl. He does have some feminine traits, but as you said, he has a nice balance between masculine and feminine. He’s what so many people in real life claim men should be.

Disappointed but not surprised they're using the most arbitrary examples to try and prove Kaveh's sexuality. They've done it before, and they'll do it again. Before you know it, they'll say breathing proves he's gay 😒 I'm curious, did they do such analyses for Alhaitham too? Not necessarily in your example, but some time in the past? I've never seen any for him, other than his color palette fitting the gay flag (which is such a strained argument).

Also nothing new about people focusing on their ship instead of the actual story. I've seen this behavior in other fandoms as well, and it's disappointing. It would be so much fun to see discussions about the story, lore, or character motivations instead of just ships.

Anon. I ADORE Kokomi. She is my favorite female Genshin character, and probably one of my favorite female characters overall! You better believe I thought about my favorite Genshin characters interacting!

Unlike you, I find it difficult to ship Kokomi (nobody feels good enough for my beloved Priestess 💔), so while I don't think a romance between them will work out, I am more than open to the concept and will entertain it for fun! They would indeed make the prettiest and sweetest couple in Teyvat ☺️ Kokomi would be a very calming influence for Kaveh. I can almost picture her guiding and helping him navigate his life for the better.

I also like the idea of Kaveh with Candace. Candace is gentle and caring, which is something I think Kaveh needs. Yet, she is firm and takes no nonsense, so she will chastise Kaveh when he needs it. I just think she would be great at keeping him on the right path. Alhaitham does it fairly well, but he's too abrasive with his wording, meanwhile Candace (and Kokomi!) would be more gentle. Plus, I can imagine Kaveh and Candace bonding over him designing the library for Aaru village.

It sounds like you're very into shipping? Or at least, character analysis. Kokomi and Kaveh is an idea I love a lot (though I may be biased since I love both characters to bits), so I'm curious about any other unconventional pairings you have. Are there any you want to share?

Anyways, sorry for replying so late. Hope you have a great day!

[ccaptain]

@predvestnik: Plots please, I'm begging you ( meme source. )

YOU FOOL. YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON.

i. Foul Legacy and Herald: PLEASE WE NEED MORE PLOTS WITH THESE TWO... most of the things we do with them haven't been exactly 18+ friendly but we have to develope them now and forever....... their absolutely fucking hilarious Morticia/Gomez romance, the artifact FL wants to gift to Herald,,,,,,, im grabbing these two so hard. They're genuinely so funny to move and the NSFW aspect of monsterfucking is just an added bonus. Heralds obsessive devotion is something real that it feels towards FL. Just. Us sticking these two ANYWHERE possible and seeing what happens first: they have fun, or everyone around them dies of abyssal radiation poisoning.

also more Abyss Verse please please please I'm begging you

ii. Fatuiverse Chaeya: SLAMMING THEM AROUND LIKE A BAG OF COFFEE BEANS. An Harbinger and a spy infiltrated in the Fatui walk into a pub- YEAH. Their attempts at getting closer to eachother while keeping their secrets close haunts me. Kaeya receiving Childe's coat first thing since his has been confiscated......... the tension between them is STELLAR. We're doing most plots that I wanted with them already including the super tender one where Kaeya has to kill someone threatening to tattle on him, but more can't hurt. I particulary would like:

- Their first cuddle in bed, the process behind their thoughts as they abandon themselves into the arms of someone who could no doubt bring harm, but instead there's this tenderness that lets their frayed nerves rest a bit - Another one of their firsts would be when they actually starts trusting eachother... imagine the moment they realize they do. Imagine this. Sorry infiltrated spy/high-ranked worker realizig they are connecting is my guilty pleasure. Them slowly indulging in more and more physical contact until it becomes a game like what's happening with Kaeya's cocoa butter........... mMMmmmMM GRABBING THIS. - Him spying on all the Fatui hierarchy and in how things work as Childe ''spies'' on him, aka just keeps an eye on him and keeps him safe. Kaeya doesn't know this............ yet. Yet.......

iii. I talk too much about H:SR now. Pick your poison: hurt/comfort Chaeya where he isn't shipped back in Shneznaya and instead is deposited in Kaeya's loving care, or them going to the equivalent of Teyvat Ikea starring an apparition of our Haikaveh. Something about this crack thing stimulated me in a good way. Just hilarious shenanigans while they decorate the apartment to their shared liking while Kaveh is trying to keep Alhaitham on a leash to buy every single ugly furniture in the store out of spite.

Bonus points: Kaeya and Kaveh discussing things amicably like old friends while Alhaitham and Childe fight for the ugliest, most banana-flashing-yellow nightstand ever existed to mankind.

Bonus bulleted point: I WANT MORE SPARRING THREADS. VENUS PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU

[guiltyuntilproveninnocent]

How does one put a bio

Anyways it seems because of the post I made days ago has opened the floodgate in my brain of all the stockpiled ideas I kept mostly to myself soooo I'm dropping them some here (I might have forgotten some details)

If anyone wishes to use any of these then be my guess, I just want to pour them all out

These are my ideas for Genshin Impact (I'll be doing seperate posts for my ideas in different fandoms)

Genshin Ideas:

Self-Insert!Aunt of Kaveh

-this idea started when I learned about his story so yeah, this idea was atleast two years ago?

-Self-Insert is either reincarnated in the game or just there

-Self-Insert is the sister to the new husband of Kaveh's mother in Fontaine and she found out about Kaveh and wanted to meet him, cue 10 mins of meeting him she went "I just met this man for 10 mins but if anything ever happens to him, I'm killing everyone here then myself"

-Took one look at whatever Haikaveh is and went "I know what you are"

-Probably the wine aunt or the rich aunt

Self-Insert!Dori

-got her 3 times back to back, this idea was also two years ago?

-found out all the hate on her because of the fact that Kaveh is in debt because of her and my brain went "I can fix her"

-Self-Insert!Dori would be similar to her game self only the difference she is absolutely protective and loves Kaveh (platonically)

-She looks at Kaveh as he was easily scammed also seeing the kind and beautiful soul in front of her and thought "I must protect"

-Kaveh still gets in debt by being scammed and is quite still "roommates" with Alhaitham

-Self-Insert!Dori offering Kaveh a place in the Palace of Alcazarzaray but Kaveh refuses the offer

-Self-Insert!Dori being Kaveh's self-proclaimed rich aunt

-Self-Insert! Dori would not hesitate to fund the entire wedding for Haikaveh and lend the Palace of Alcazarzaray as the venue if the chance comes (She finds them cute together)

Kid Self-Insert

-Kaveh finds self-insert somewhere and sees them hurt, lost, abandoned or something and decides to bring them to Tighnari then while carrying them he shows self-insert around Sumeru City

-Self-Insert looks like a mix between Alhaitham and Kaveh so people passing by are staring and rumours start that Kaveh and Alhaitham has a kid

-Alhaitham heard the rumours and went to find Kaveh, sees Kaveh with self-insert

-The story goes on found family and Alhaitham and Kaveh stops dancing around and finally confess to each other then gets married

Hahaha 😅 notice how all of them are all self-inserts also connected to Kaveh and Haikaveh? Kaveh deserves all the love and care in the world

Next post would be my ideas for Honkai Star Rail (I will try my hand in writing and continueing my idea for sahsrau in my last post)

Salutations to the ones who read this entire thing, I thank thee for reading this ones old brainrot. Now I must sleep since my eyes are getting heavy