#which. mixed feelings about that. i won't have to be afraid of them interacting w me but also :'( a little sad to be home alone for it

[dandyshucks]

i am freeeeeeeee [collapses into a pile of dust]

[thirstybtsthoughts]

I feel like i haven't come on here for ages but quick thing I want to share

So tonight is my last night at my parents, and moving out alone and I have MANY mixed feelings

First it didn't feel real, i was like "until I don't sign those papers it won't be real" even tho my landlord gave me the keys beforehand to start moving in some things if I wanted to

Second, I've lived alone when I was 19 (in 2017) for like 5 months, in a city 3 hours away for college. Which obv didn't work out since I came back lol

And I don't know, i should probably feel excited since this time the conditions of me moving out are completely different (i pay it and I have a job) but I don't and I know it's because a) i hate my job so it feels like blood money or whatever his called lmao 2) I'm afraid of being broke -even tho I don't spend that much money, not even on necessary things 3) i want to be 100% independent meaning i want to stop all interactions w my parents that involve them helping me out w anything 4) I'm afraid of being alone

The last one is an issue i never thought I'd have. I'm an extreme introvert but since last year I just cannot be by myself I feel extremely lonely at random moments but people just exhaust me, i know it's gonna hurt to work on that

Plus, after so many years of not doing anything, jobless and stuff, this whole thing feels anticlimactic, like I went through all of that just for this moment to feel like "meh"

I wanted to move out only because is """socially""" about time to do so. Not like i hate my parents but they just started to annoy me. But now I'm like, with all this "freedom", what if I don't do anything w it? I'm wish I at least had a sneaky link to spice things up but I'm as single as single can be

Long story short, at 24 w a job, an apartment i should be feeling like my future is ahead of me, but instead I feel like is coming to an end and is not going to bring and major good difference in my life

Akdlda I'm so confused and scared and tired i wanna cry i want to make my life interesting but to exhausted of failing that i just want to give up

Anyways, thank you for this space, i love everything about this blog

(btw, yoongi hands for life)

🦀

I feel like you described most of my exact situation at the moment 🥺.

I hope the first few days in your new place have gone well 😊. I think you're absolutely wonderful and a strong enough person to be able to handle anything life throws at you.

Now that you're away from familial burdens, maybe you could find another job? Maybe you could start a new hobby that could turn into a small business from home? I'm sure you will find something to do with yourself and your introverted self will soon make the effort to socialise 🥺😊.

It may not seem like much right now, but in the time to come you will realise iprobablyably going to do you the world of good to have moved out and be independent with your life and choices.

You always have a space here to drop in 🥰💜

Yoongi hands = my favourite choker that is worth millions 🥴