#which you're SOOOO well known for doing

[finemealprompt]

DP x DC Prompt #85

Bart was told he could run track as long as he didn’t break any records and didn’t win all the time. And he isn’t! But this is the first race where he’s running against a fellow meta! He’s just gotta not lose control in the heat of the competition. And he won’t … probably.

[rene-darling]

Soooo ahem- what if traveller calls Xiao's name while our babygirl is busy moaning in the best part??

GETTING- Interrupted while doing the nasty.

OMG YES!! Love your brain darling, this but with other genshin men as well.

...kazuha...tighnari...itto...Xiao...

Kazuha

You're his first priority doesn't matter if he's the one fully naked.

He's probably more red than before but he'll cover you up first

Glares at whoever walks in but it's more of an embarrassed glare.

After that person leaves he'll just sigh and probably won't be in the mood anymore.

But if you coax him a bit he'll be raring to go soon enough.

It's an embarrassing memory which he wishes he could forget

The next day when he sees that person who walked in he's very chill and acts calm and collected like nothing happened.

Tighnari

Shocked and pissed.

With work it's already hard to find time for each other and now when you finally get the chance someone interrupts

Immediately covers himself with his tail

It's like an instinct, he'll cover you too

He sends the person off with a nasty glare and then refuses to resume your previous activities,

He's ashamed beyond belief and gives you an earful for not locking the door.

Cannot face the person who caught you both for a while..

Itto

Doesn't realise.

Bro keeps going until you have to physically stop him

Once he finally sees that someone has intruded on your private time he just stares..for a moment, before letting out the most shrill scream ever known to man.

You can't believe such a scream can be from a bug muscular man such as itto

He chases intruder out the room..forgetting the part where he's naked.

You have to run after him before he runs into his gang and embarrasses himself further

Xiao

Pretty back arching and hands tightly gripping at the sheets, xiaos trying desperately to last longer. But, you're just not giving him the chance to hold back any longer.

He moans your name like a mantra as if it is the only word he knows. He could feel that he was close, arching his back he looked back leaning into you muttering your name.

He was close, he could feel it..it felt so good. Sweat dripped off of him and he could feel himself becoming closer, and closer, and- "adeptus xiao~ we need your help-"

Immediately the traveler's hands shoot up to cover piamons eyes. It takes Xiao a second to realize that he's no longer in bed with you...

His eyes widen. He stiffens as he's overcome by pure shame and embarrassment, horrified he tries to jumble a sentence together but fails, too stunned to speak.

He immediately teleports back falling onto the floor of your room. "xiao..there you are..where the hell did you go?" your question doesn't get an answer by the panicked adeptus who looks like he saw a ghost.

You have to calm him down, and there is no chance in hell you can continue what you guys were doing beforehand.

After said incident, he refrains from having intimacy for a good while, too traumatized by the prospect of the past repeating itself.

He's also too embarrassed to face the traveller in the coming weeks, running away whenever they get even a little close.

Safe to say you've lost love-making privileges all because of the traveler..damn...you won't get to see that xiaoussy for a while🙏

[botanyshitposts]

Hey! I'm not a botanist, but I'm in circles where it's a bigger thing and I'm kind of curious about something.

So, from an outsider's perspective, the genus Garcinia has a lot of weird and messy classifications. For example, common species like G. intermedia and G. gardneriana are really similar to Garcinia brasiliensis, to the point that it's pretty controversial if they're actually separate species. The Garcinia species colloquially known as "achachairú" also appears to bear a lot of similarities to that trio (although much less than they share with each other), HOWEVER it's almost exclusively referred to (in cultivation and in studies) as G. humilis, a Carribean species with small oval-shaped leaves, despite actually having very long lanceolate leaves and being exclusively found in the Andean foothills of Bolivia. Also, multiple frequently cultivated species like Luc's garcinia and Russell's sweet garcinia haven't actually been described yet, despite for example the former having a decent amount of scientific interest and frequent genetic testing done on it.

All of these odd classification things and even more others have been pretty well known in my circles for the past 15 years-ish, but still nobody seems anywhere close to a conclusion for them. How long does it usually take for a genus to get organized when it has as many species as Garcinia does? And how do they do it? Do they go around testing every single species or only a few at a time? If a species is currently not named, do the same people usually describe them as part this endeavor, or just leave them for somebody else? I saw Plinia and Artocarpus recently got reshuffled a lot because of some prominent genetic studies on them, and several new species and even genera were added, but it just seems alien to me how stuff like that even ends up happening. There are so many plants out there!

Sorry if I'm asking the wrong person here, but I've been wondering about how this stuff will eventually be resolved for yeeeearrs

There are so many plants out there!

ok im kind of surprised i can offer a few possible answers to this question despite having never heard of this but i think i can. if the question is 'why aren't some plants actually described', this is the primary reason why.

when i was in plant anatomy class in college, the person teaching us was a plant anatomist who assigned us different plants from the greenhouse to dissect and describe in a paper for her, and she told us that we might find something that hadn't been described before, which was pretty shocking to me. what do you mean i could potentially find a new-to-science thing? has nobody in history looked at this plant that's just growing in the greenhouse upstairs??

what she said was that no, sometimes not. there are so many plants out there that it's difficult to do one exact in-depth description and published examination of each species, so what botanists end up doing is doing or finding one in-depth examination of one species in a specific group and assuming that all the others in the group are at least similar, if not the same. which is good because it saves time and works as a shorthand, especially if there's not much funding, but also sometimes it has the potential to overlook more nuanced differences that can go undiscovered for a long time. but that's just botanical species in the conventional sense, which i don't think is as straightforward in what you're describing.

another answer to this question that's more specific to the species you're talking about here is that plants are having sex. they have so so so soooo much sex. few things they enjoy more to be honest. and given that the most conventional (but not only) definition for different species is 'can't have sex with other species because it's too different from them', the lines get blurrier to deal with, and one thing botanists do when the lines between species get too blurry (because of all the sex) is to just assume that they're all part of some kind of hard-to-describe genetic soup with individual plants falling along gradients or spectrums of similarities or differences, and in this case you'll see botanists just name the most prominent species among them and call it the '[most common suspect] complex', which groups together all the ones that happen to be having sex with each other at the same time, just to make them easier to talk about. this typically doesn't mean that they're species-less, but more that they can be thought of as a group with a few distinct points where they can look very distinct, and those points are the species, if that makes sense; see the citrus sex graph at the end for an example.

i also see from a cursory google search that people seem to be planting and eating these in a more widespread way, and people are talking about them on forums and stuff. this is one of the cases in botany where things get tricky, because a person looking for traits in a fruit that's having tons of sex might not actually be looking for the same things botanists are looking for when describing a species-- it might seem easiest to just find which species or few species are the tastiest and grow those, but if it's a genetic soup then all you can really do is do it the old fashioned way and breed individual plants for the traits you want. which, who knows, could end up being a hybrid between all of them.

case in point: again i am not completely up to date with the lore here but i found a forum thread where people were debating which species to plant and the consensus was just to plant multiple species at once, which is fine but is also really funny given that it DOES facilitate even more sex, thus blurring the lines even further and-- if the posters decide to plant the resulting seeds from the fruits-- will create even MORE hybrid plants of no discernible concrete species in the plant soup. the hybrid of a hybrid of a hybrid of a hybrid or whatnot. when does one stop calling it a hybrid between two species and start calling it 'the tree in grandma's backyard that's the tastiest of the berries i've tried'? that is the question, truly, one humanity has had for millennia in the search for the tastiest berry, and at that point it might just be easier to call it a variety or cultivar, which are horticultural terms for just that-- a distinct 'kind' among the same species that taste good subjectively and can be reliably rebred and harvested, like all the apple varieties people debate about.

another reason is that plant phylogenies are hard and brain-twisting and plant taxonomists and systemisists are among our strongest warriors. it's not uncommon at all in botany to be researching something and to find out it's been reshuffled because of a new breakthrough on the case a bunch of people more qualified on the subject decided made more sense like a decades later. sometimes species themselves will even change names multiple times if it turns out that it was described earlier by someone else considering the new circumstances. if you're a really unlucky or just controversial plant all this can happen over and over again until, finally, the trees of math have been resolved in a way that makes sense. how long will it take? surely there is a concrete end to the madness? nah. lol

finally, if you're looking into studies on this, you should know that some phylogeny stuff is opinion-based or subjective, especially at first. what counts as a new group for one group of researchers might not count as one for another. so when you see stuff where people are inventing new categorizations or genuses or whatnot or merging multiple ones together spontaneously, it'll depend on how well supported their reasoning is and what the evidence seems to show, and the larger community of plant taxonomists will, overtime, decide what they want to do with that information-- which may include verifying it or refuting it with more evidence. what researchers are proposing when they split stuff off or merge it together is a new or updated model for thinking about existing information, and that model may be more or less useful than the existing one for the means of actually learning more about the plants.

anyway in short there are lots of reasons why this might not be sorted out and the more sex these plants have the longer it's gonna take. i'm strongly reminded of that one citrus sex graph (its this one) (screenshotted to see it on night mode):

[weirdsht]

cale with idiots in love trope

- "You're cute" "hm?" "I said you look like a boot."

- casual displays of affection, hand holding bc s/o would space out and may or may not get lost (directionally challenged)

- pretending everything is casual, but they're soooo in love with each other

- "I look like a mess" "the prettiest mess"

- the kids absolutely love when they get cuddles with cale and s/o

- maybe braiding cales hair??

- whenever cale goes somewhere and can't bring them, they'd go like "I'll be going for a while" (cale) "I'll always be here" (s/o)

- stealing cales clothes bc its comfy!!

- "are you asleep?" "...no" "wanna talk?"

- "I love you" "I've loved you my entire life"

Can’t Two People Be Friends? - Cale/Gn! Reader

tags: gender-neutral reader, deputy commander reader, getting together fic, vague novel spoilers, is told from Alberu's perspective, tired Alberu, save Alberu from his dumb dongsaeng, use of degrading words (e.g. stupid) but it's in a loving way, have I mentioned Alberu is tired of Cale's shit?

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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another anon said: cale who acts like a lover to his "closest confidant", though they are not in a relationship, they certainly do act like one– to the point that his crew would question them, to which they'd respond "We're just friends" "What do you mean? They look at you like you're their entire world"– which then starts their operation, get cale a lover

Cale Henituse is someone who has a lot of people under his wing. He's a heroic person busy saving the continents– no, the world. Which was why it is no surprise to find out that he has a close confidant. He has a second-in-command who helps him plan everything and is in charge of backup plans in case something goes wrong.

All of that is normal. Expected even.

What isn’t normal is how they act towards each other.

They act like… people who have a deeper relationship than just friends, for lack of a better term.

Like right now. [Name] is holding onto Cale’s arms as they navigate through this tiresome ball. Looking at him as if he had hung up the moon and the stars.

“Your Highness, you are quite close to the both of them… are we sure they are merely close friends?”

One of the nobles talking to Alberu Crossman questions as everyone watches the commander-and-deputy-commander duo dance in the centre of the hall.

“Of course they are. They have said so themselves.”

Alberu adds on at the end about how they shouldn’t inquire about another person’s private life.

However, Alberu himself is quite frustrated.

It was the truth when he said the two are nothing more than friends. And that’s what frustrates him. The two idiots can’t see the way they stare at each other. Can’t notice how they are unconsciously each other’s priority no matter what happens.

Alberu also knows that he isn’t the only one feeling this way.

No, as a matter of fact, everyone in Cale’s group feels the same frustration the future king feels.

“When will they get together? They deny their feelings as if we didn’t see them cuddling last night while reading a novel.”

On complained one day while eating the crown prince’s cookies.

“I’ve always known that our young master was quite dense in the aspect of love but… hmmm, I must say that this level is getting frustrating.”

Ron shared his own opinion as he served everyone tea.

Well everyone except the two people who are the topic of their discussion. Of course, they aren’t. For they were busy cuddling in the newly installed swing in the garden of the black castle while reading a novel. [Name] is busy platonically nuzzling their head in Cale’s chest, while Cale himself is busy platonically draping his legs over [name] as they lay down on the large swing.

‘Merely friends my ass’

Alberu thinks to himself as he watches the two from the window while sipping on the tea Ron served.

The people inside the room merely complained about Cale and [Name]’s relationship. They did not say anything about forcing them to get together and be in a romantic relationship.

And it’s not because they respect what the two have now.

No, it was simply because they didn’t need to say such things out loud. The complaints they have said out loud are enough confirmation to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

That everyone will be doing their best to show those two knuckleheads that what they have is more than platonic.

“You do know that you only let [Name] braid your hair like that. Do you realise just how much special privilege you give them?”

“What special privilege? The kids also braided my hair.”

Alberu’s dumb dongsaeng stared at him in confusion and the crown prince swears his about to have an aneurysm.

“Yes, but they are your kids. Of course, you’ll indulge them.”

“That is true…”

For a moment Alberu thought that they were finally heading somewhere.

“But [Name] is the only one who can braid my hair neatly like this.”

Turns out the only place they are heading to is back to square one.

Alberu pushed down the urge to smack a chair in his beloved dongsaeng’s face. How could he forget Ron’s existence? The Ron that does every task perfectly, but still could not braid the redhead’s hair because ‘only [Name] can do it perfectly’.

Cale better be glad Alberu didn’t transform Taerang into a hammer and threw it in his face.

“I love you, you know that right?”

[Name] had asked Cale during one of their cuddling sessions and Raon’s ears perked up.

“Of course I do.”

Cale answered casually and it got Raon’s hopes up.

“Are you guys together???”

He asked, eyes full of hope.

“What do you mean silly? Of course, we’re together, we’ve been friends for years now.”

That night Raon did not speak to any of them, and the two idiots only thought he was sick and tried to coax him to talk to them.

Subtle advances like that continued for a while before they all admitted defeat. One day Rosalyn even straight up asked [Name] how they felt about Cale. To which the deputy commander only responded with “he’s my best friend of course” before going on their merry way to steal another one of Cale’s clothes.

Just when all of them are about to give up Alberu caught the two of them talking in that same swing one night. 

He was about to go back to the palace. Only went to sneak into Raon’s castle to talk to Cale about an important business that cannot be said through a communication device. However, just as he was about to teleport back he heard the two.

“Why are you still awake?”

“I couldn’t sleep. You weren’t in bed.”

“Wanna talk then?”

Alberu silently scoffs at them. Even their conversations sound like their married already.

They talk for a few minutes. Topics vary from the mundane to philosophical questions no one can answer. 

It didn’t look like Alberu would get anything from eavesdropping so he thinks about going home.

But then…

“I know we’re both too busy. I know this will only add more burden to you. However, I must say it.”

[Name] spoke gently. Their eyes which were previously watching the stars shifted their focus to stare at Cale’s face.

“I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than life.”

That made the crown prince stop in his tracks. For a moment he remembers Raon’s complaints about how they seem to say “I love you” to each other without it meaning anything. For a moment he doubted if it was a confession.

Of course that didn’t stop him from recording the whole thing.

“I love you too. I’ve loved you this entire time. I’ll love you even after death.”

At Cale’s reciprocity, Alberu finally moved to give the privacy. He may want to see the two of them get together, but he does not want to see them kiss. A confession was enough to satisfy him.

But the irritation he feels from waiting for them to confess did not go away.

Hence why instead of going home he first went to his instructor, Choi Han.

Alberu Crossman did not say to the swordmaster. He only hands him a piece of paper before going back to his palace.

In that paper wrote:

The two idiots are finally together. I have a recording if anyone is interested. I’ll show it in exchange for a recording of you lightly smacking my lovely dongsaeng head upside-down. I’m sure my instructor will understand where I’m coming from.

Choi Han does. He greatly understands where his student was coming from.

That’s why, the next morning he was setting up a hidden recording device with a smile on his face.

Oh, he also got everyone’s permission before he set it up. In fact, most of them cheered at the thought of him physically knocking some sense in their young master’s head. 

[gelatonic]

Idk if you write for Leo Valdez but if you do!

Him and reader being enemies, like the whole camp has known about it. It’s a whole thing. Kinda annoying atp, like people just want them to get over it.

Chiron wanted the reader to help the Hephaestus cabin with a project and they end up being the last people there. getting stuck in bunker nine because someone forgot about them and locked the door and it was jammed, it was already passed dinner so likely shot was that they’d be found in the morning

One thing led to another, and reader said Leo didn’t know how to fuck. Leo took that as a challenge

(If it’s okay could I be🫀 or🚂 anon? And if you don’t write for Leo, you can switch it up to fit another character!)

leo x f!bratty!reader ꩜ .ᐟ ignore how long this took plz lovie ;3 smut!

it all started when he decided to be a meanie to you

here you were, minding your business and being all cute while you dance at the bonfire for the camp, and Leo Valdez has to go and comment something slanderous towards you!!!!!! yelled something about how he could dance better, and you just couldn't accept that, getting all huffy and puffy with crossed arms as you choose to ignore him forever from then on, except his stupid nagging wouldn't stop! it seems everything you do, he just has to comment on, but you weren't going to take that, no! so you bite back, things escalate, and now here you were with your one and only enemy at camp, Leo Valdez.

everyone else seemed to like you, yeah, so when Chiron asks you to help out with the hephaestus cabin, ofc you say yes!!!! why wouldn't you? all the other kids there besides Leo are such sweeties, you don't mind! but then it turns out its just Leo who needs help, which leads to you being cooped up with him in bunker nine :(

and so inevitably, he just has to say something not very nice to you, so you just have to say something back. but you just look so cute when you argue, when you get up to leave, he almost stops you! but Leo doesn't have to, when it seems you can't yank your way out the door.

you turn back, cheeks all puffed up and tinged pink as you cross your arms at him and stifle back to sitting on the floor, glaring at it. "can't believe I'm stuck with an idiot like you," you grumble, legs criss-cross applesauce on the floor, letting Leo look at the way your already-short skirt rides up your thighs.

"yeah, sweetheart?" he says exasperatedly, setting down his wrench and stopping whatever he's working on so he can get a good look at how upset you were right now, with that stupid smirk on his face! "its not like I want a brat like you here either, y'know."

"brat!?!!?" you yelp back, scrambling to your feet so you can stalk to him, finger pointing sharply at him accusingly, "I'm only a brat to you because you're mean to me!"

"mhm," he hums with an eyeroll, not taking anything you say seriously, "y'know, at least I provide to the camp, make all these things. what do you do, huh?"

"well at least I can fuck!"

ohhhhh no, you shouldn't have said that. now here you are, bent halfway over the cool metal slab of his workspace, getting rutted into from behind. "who can't fuck, huh babygirl?" he's huffing a calloused laugh from behind, pumping you full of his dick. one of his hands goes up to your ass, gripping a handful of flesh and kneading it under his fingers.

"soooo fuckin' bratty, aren't you? what, just need a good fucking from Leo to put you in your place?" all you can do is mewl and whimper in response, legs kicking and hips squirming, making him push on your lower back to keep you still as his hips smack yours.

he's laughing as he watches how your pussy sucks him up whole, balls deep, before he wrenches in and out making you cry. he's leaning his weight down on you, smushing your tits on the table as he thrusts in and out, hand yanking at your hair hard, making your scalp tingle.

"wonder how many times I can make you come before morning. would you like that baby? wanna cum on my dick til you pass out?" he coos, making you babble something unintelligible as your drool puddles on your lips and on the table, glassy eyes half-lidded.

"yeah, you'd like that, huh? all cummed out for me, hm?

he is not stopping anytime soon...!!

[iiiiiiis-things]

Y/N MAKES: PANCAKES

pairing: Duke Dennis x femblack!reader

cw: MENTIONS of fingering, kai being a dumbass, agent is your twin, that's it ??

blurb: soooo yeah i rmb watching markiplier makes literally all the time so this may or may not be a series.

a/n: ummm hey ?? 😂 yes ik i've been gone i'm gonna keep it real school is rlly taking over everything so i won't be posting as frequent i'll post like once or twice a month unless it's a reblog.. but in the summer i do intend to be more present !! (may or may not drop something in valentine's day we'll see 😗)

"duke get your ass in here" he walks infront of you and kai to get to his side of the table and you take the opportunity to smack his ass with the spatula

"bae."

*smack*

"dawg."

*smack*

"ouch! nigga stop!"

he turns around giving you a stank eye rubbing his ass cheek

________

"once upon a time, in New York City, the bronx. there was a woman who dreamed a dream. to take the previously made invention of pancakes and turn it into something incredibly new and interesting and zesty." before you could finish your intro kai cuts in from the back

"woah"

"kai shut the fuck up"

________

"i have decided that it should be up to me a fine ass black woman to revive the art of lost art...of pancake... art"

"you're doing great babe"

"duke."

rolling your eyes you take a deep breath and continue on to introduce your 'guest' "but as much as i wanted to, this fine ass black woman can't do it alone i present to you." you slam your hands down on the table creating a loud boom before lifting your hand up to your right

Duke walks into the frame and made the poor choice to get his revenge and smack the hell out of your ass with his spatula, which resulted in you smacking the hell out of the side of his fat ass head "known for his strong ass flipping capability, if he were to flip at 100% capacity he would annihilate the entire universe- and trust me. i know" a smile spreads across your face as you you make eye contact with him, he laughs before resuming his composure staring at the camera with an intense look "a lot of people may call him by his nick name 'duke dennis'" you use finger quotes around his name "but his legal name is actually my man. sooo"

"it is?"

"yes it is."

he sides eye you "ion-"

"NEXT! we have the crust nestor" you raise your left hand as Kai walks in rubbing his chin as if he fine or something "if you were to even question anybody who has the greatest, crispiest, goldenest crust" "i don't think that's a word" your brother leans over and whispers

"kai"

"my bad"

"as i was saying. the greatest, crispiest, goldenest crust in the world.. they would say my brother" you stretch your hands out as you describe him. kai brows furrows at his introductory "i have a name" you look over to him and there was just silence before the video was cut to the next clip

"and if you're wondering who I am, among the two negros standing next to me well, i can't believe you dont recognize me"

"your not that popular" Kai says shaking his head in denial and laying his palms flat on the table

"okay you know what, kai.. you getting on my last nerve" you turn your body around to fully face him lowering your tone as like your mother did anytime she was about to pop the shit out of him for asking to get something from the store "i'm sorry" his head hangs low and Duke turns his head to the side and brings a hand to cover his mouth, hiding his smile.

"like i let you be in my video" "i know, i know" Kai shakes his head "and you come in here disrespecting me like i won't slap the shit out of you" you make italian hands and cock your head to the side "ok sis, i'm sorry" rolling your eyes you wrap up your introduction.

"now let's get started and with this trio of perfection, how could anything go wrong?"

________

the next clips shows you slamming the bag of flour on the table in front of you as your boyfriend and brother line it up with everything else "we're going in RAW, unpro-" before you can finish your sentence Kai bursts outs laughing and Duke joins him causing you to roll your eyes.

"we're not using recipes! we're not using measuring cups! we've been doing this for hundreds of years" you side eye duke and point his way "him fasho- but uh we totally know EXACTLY, what to do with the ingredients on display on the table on th- here.. on the table.. displayed-here..." (i actually had a stroke writing this)

"it's ok, take your time baby"

"alright, whatever we're starting now. twin give us the count down" agent starts to count down from three and you immediately go for the flour "also i forgot to mention that someone-" you glare at Duke pouring at least 1 cup of flour in your bowl "forgot the buttermilk" for some reason the first thing Kai did was spray his bowl with pam which Duke notices "the fuck?" he stops pouring the sugar in his bowl to look at Kai because for some reason the next thing he decides to do is pour in the milk.

"see unlike these two idiots, i know that your supposed mix the dry ingredients first" you say glancing up at the camera "where are the spoons?" you look around the table as Kai lifts his head and winces "oh shitttttt- my bad yall"

"nigga"

"are you serious?"

you then smack your lips "fuck it" you start to mix the dry mix with your hands after doing that you grab the vegetable oil and pour just a little inside "ice spice is so fine" Kai grabs an egg cracking it inside "she wants me to be in her new music video" Duke furrows his eyebrows grabbing the oil from you "you?" you grab the carton of eggs from Kai's side of the table "yes. me nigga" kai smacks his lips as you accidentally bump into him knocking almost half his mixture out of his bowl "my bad"

"so as you can see my opponents being the dumbass they are used two eggs when your only supposed to used one" you use your white girl voice as you crack an egg into your bowl "yall this how I be in y/n pussy" you look at duke who holds up the bowl and starts to use his middle and ring finger to mix his pancake solution "boy stop lying you be like this" you lift your fingers creating a 'c' motion duke smacks his lips and stops you "girl no the fuck i don't, i be like-" before he could correct me kai yells at us with a face of disgust "OKAY we get it god damn"

_______

after playing around for a little bit time eventually runs out and the three of you attempt to create at least a few decent pancakes "we have syrup right?" Kai asks "duh why the fuck would we have pancakes and no syrup?" Duke responds to Kai. he smacks his lips and his brows come together as he starts to get irritated "bro didn't you forget the buttermilk?" "didn't u forget the spoons?" "okay but at least-"

"oh my god both of y'all shut the fuck up."

you all finish up your pancakes in separate rooms to create a little bit of suspense and to see who pancakes turned out the best and after setting the camera back up it was time to present.

"hey guys" agent waves at the camera as he fixes the flash "i'm going to be the judge of everyone waffles" you look up and fixes his statement "pancakes" "same difference"

______

"why the fuck is it hard?" agent tries to cut Kai black ass pancake with a knife but it doesn't budge "and black" Duke adds trying to get Kai eliminated but the way your twin was struggling to slice it was already enough. "you see it was a visual representation of my sister" Kai uses his arms to explain as you step forward "nigga u tryna be funny? alls i see is a black ass blob"

"it was supposed to be a monkey."

agent ends up picking up the mess with his hand, but it was so hard he couldn't even take a bite..

"alright next." he moves over next to you and removes the lid on top of your plate and he immediately begins laughing. Duke and Kai comes up to see what so funny as they soon realized what you created "i was inspired by the song peaches and eggplants featuring sexyy red and mulatto" your white girl voice comes back as you hold up the plate for the camera to see. obviously it was a peach and eggplant you even took the time to color your batter but what agent found so hilarious was the powdered sugar and whip cream spread across the peach and syrup leaking from the tip of the eggplant.

"alright, alright cmon lemme taste it" he grabs a fork and begins to slice through "hey!! i can cut through this one!" Duke laugh booms throughout the house as Kai rolls his eyes, after successfully cutting a nice piece of the peach he stuffs it into his mouth and begins chewing "mmm." you look at him with momma lips telling him he better say something good or he was gonna be fired "i mean yeah it's good. like real shit. but-" you whip your head to him seeing what else he has to say "wayyy to much whip cream, it makes the waffle extra sweet it would've been better with a drizzle of syrup" you once again correct him "pancakes" "shut up, tomato tomata"

"ok duke you ready?" "no" " to bad" he removes the lid exposing his pancake which didn't look bad at all but he forgot one thing "just normal waffles?" you scream from behind the camera "PANCAKES" "I KNOW WHAT I SAID" your boyfriend breaks up the small bickering "well shit how was i supposed to know we was making eggplants and monkeys? ain't nobody told me shit." he shrugs as agent cuts through his pancake and drowns it in syrup that spilt over on the plate before stuffing it in his mouth "mmm. it's not bad" you walk back into the camera frame wrapping your arms around Duke waist giving him a peck on the cheek which makes him grin "don't playyyy! see my baby can cook!" "but-" "damnit never mind" duke frowns as he catches an attitude and removes your arms from around him and agent continues "i don't know what the fuck u did but this is the chewiest waffle i ever tasted"

you walk over to the plate and you grab another fork to taste, cutting a small triangular piece you bite the tip off immediately realizing what twin was talking about "it's not necessarily chewy... it's like.. doughy" waving Duke over he walks up behind you wrapping one arm around your waist. lifting up the fork with leftover pancake on it you bring it to his mouth as he takes a big ass bite stuffing the rest in his mouth. Duke chews and chews soon swallowing "i don't see what yall talking 'bout that shit good" he points to his plate. Kai pops up out of nowhere with a fork squeezing inbetween you and agent trying to snag a piece he rolls his eyes and leaves back behind the camera to make sure it was still recording. "what the shit ?? this shit taste like ass" Kai immediately spits it out and Duek smacks his lips "nigga stop playing wimme that shit taste amazing!"

you move over grabbing your own plate over so the three of you can taste it. you and your brother both take a bite of the eggplant as Duke waits patiently for you to feed it to him "mmm. yeahh thats perfect. i don't even wanna taste the peach" kai shakes his head in disbelief that you actually made a decent pancake, rolling your eyes u feed duke a small piece of the eggplant, being a little nervous for his reaction "mmhm." he balls his fist bringing it to his mouth "oh yeah" he points towards your plate "that's the shit right there" you smile glad that he took a liking to your creation "thank you baby" you give him a kiss and Kai once again interrupts "ALRIGHT, my turn!"

"i'm not eating that shit."

[yuri-is-online]

(Some more bread crumbs for the Aceyuu birdies) Ace enters Ramshackle, where everyone is already gathered in the guestroom, Yuu's in the middle of talking about something when he walks in. Yuu: And I mean, I guess I feel a little guilty about it, but I'd say the one I miss the most back home is Toby!

Ace bluescreening, internally he's asking: WHO TF IS TOBY?!

Epel: Well you did say he was super affectionate with ya, Yuu

Yuu: Haha, exactly! It would be soooo annoying sometimes I'd enter a room and suddenly he's ontop of me, just whining and licking everywhere until I wrestled him of off me!

Ace shaking: Am I having a stroke? Is this what a stoke feels like? I can't feel my legs and I'm blacking out man.

Yuu, sighing defeated: Aw, but then he'd look at me with those big sad brown eyes and I end up letting him do it all over again.

Deuce, laughing: Who knew you had a weakness for puppydog eyes

Ace: EXCUSE ME?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THAT'S ALL YOU GOTTA SAY?! YUU! I EXPECTED MORE OF A BACKBONE FROM YOU! WHY'RE YOU LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT KINDA STUFF?!

Yuu, beweildered, genuinely didn't realise Ace had arrived: Who? You mean let Toby...the boxer?

Ace, momentarily doing the quick maths about his chances against a boxer: I don't care what his job is, you can't be letting guys do stuff like that to you! I don't care how good looking you think they are!

At this point, the boys begin cracking up a little, which only pisses Ace more. Even Yuu looks like their trying so hard not to laugh at him, their eyes a mix of pity and adoration (he hopes that's what he's seeing, at least) before they explain; Toby the boxer, as in the boxer breed of dog. Yuu was talking about their family pet(s) back home. Ace tries to cover for himself, saying how he totally knew that but Yuu isn't even listning to his excuses anymore because now it's Grim throwing a tantrum about how could you miss a mangey mutt when you have the Great Grim sitting on your lap?! But don't worry Ace, the guys will make sure nobody forgets this little outburst.

OR something, after we had to put our dog down a few years ago, my dad's finally in a place where he's looking for a new one so I'm just thinking about dogs now uwu

This ask is old but I hope everything went well with the search, it was my roommate's dog's birthday today so this ask as been on my mind for a hot second. Toby is such a cute name for a boxer it's literally perfect.

Listen, this is all your fault, that's going to be Ace's stance on this. If you weren't such a headache to look after, then he never would have thought that you would let someone do something like that to you and he would have automatically known it was a dog. Really now what do you take him for?

"Jealous." You're smiling as if you find the thought amusing. "It sounded like you were jelous."

"Oh please," you have him dead to rights, but he's not going to say that out loud "only Grim would get fussy about you having a dog." Because really he's not jealous of the dog. If anything he thinks it's cute, so the prefect is an animal person; just like a proper beast tamer, look at you!

No what makes him jealous is the thought he can't give you any of that back no matter how much he wants to. His family doesn't have any pets, but from the way his classmates talk about them he knows that's not a bond you can really just replace. And he wouldn't want to, Ace wants what you have to be unique to the two of you and not a replacement for what came before.

Guess that means he'll have to learn about how to take care of a dog huh. He can do that... just not when the guys are around they're already giving him a hard enough time.

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

eat your words ◦ l.f

-in a spiral of whiskey-induced stupidity, you claim felix couldn't dominate you even if he tried—oh, how he's going to make you eat your words. 

Paring◦ First time dom!Lee Felix x sub!Reader

Words◦ 2290

Genre ◦ smut, porn with NO plot 😋

Warnings ◦ teasing, kissing, biting, felix being a cocky little shit, questionable dialogue, praise, clothes ripping, boob groping,the start of some fingering, uhhh I think that's it

Taglist ◦ @thetoastghost222 my little pookie wookie sweetie pie <33

A/N ◦ this was originally supposed to be super hard smut like the kinkiest sex known to man kind but then mid way through I found out I HATE writing smut 😃soooo you guys are getting the weird little build up I did to get to the actual smut part and I may or may not a million years in the future write a continuation very unlikely though I really hope I didn't disappoint anybody 🫶

~cookiecreates 🍪

“I don't think you can do it,” You shrug your shoulders, staring at your smirking reflection swirling in the amber glass. His face shifts, a brow lifting ever so slightly, almost unnoticeable, but the way his eyes harden into a sharp, dangerous gaze isn't—challenging, testing irises narrowing like a predator stalking its prey. It was an odd metaphor, sure, but the way he gripped his cup in his hands, squeezing until his flesh turned white, made you tremble both in anticipation and terror, it was the type of fear that made your brain fog and your heart pound, and as the warm whiskey sloshed against the rim of the cup, you could have sworn; you saw the glass bend.

Humans are complicated structures like thick, vibrant layers of dried paint, but when you chip us into the rawest form of art, the naked easel, we are straightforward creatures, and sometimes all you need to do is prod the right places to get there.

“I don't think you can be dominant,” you smile against the edge of your drink, tipping the rest of the liquid back. Maybe it was the whiskey that made you lie or the almost intrinsic need to feel his hands digging into your hips, but either way, your mouth seemed to move without your mind's consent, and right now your vagina didn't care which one it was.

“And why's that?" He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, his lips quirking in a devilish grin. He cocks his head to the side, almost daring you to answer like either way; your words will be wrong. You squeeze your folded thighs in some feeble form to ease the tension that pulses between your legs, clit begging for his attention, longing for his touch, your needy, needy for him.

“You're so…” You tip your cup, a finger lightly teasing the rim, your eyes wander, toying with his patience. You act so nonchalant, so sure in your statement in the way you bounce the glass around as if you couldn't be bothered by the potential consequences of your actions, but little did he know lust smells like whiskey and wine—a rich sort of tang, and as you taste the words on your tongue, the thought of sex has never sounded so-

“Sweet,” your gaze lands on him in all his taut glory, annoyance pulsating off of him in waves. His back is tense against the chair as he folds his arms, both making his black dress shirt hug his chest and sinch around his biceps. He has never looked so alluring, so delectable, so tempting. He sucks his teeth, tongue pressing against his cheek.

“You know, I'm going to make you eat your words,” he states confidently, stretching his arms on the top of the chair, spreading his legs apart, flaunting his growing bulge. Saliva pools in your mouth, the only thing keeping you from drooling is the way you press your lips together, blinking back the waves of arousal that soak your panties.

"Well, what are you waiting for?” he beckons you with two fingers before promptly gesturing to his lap. “Don't tell me you're having second thoughts already.” You hop up from your chair, tossing your drained glass onto the bar beside you; practically tripping to sit on his lap.

"Someone's eager,” he smirks, wrapping thick fingers around the colom of your neck, smashing your lips together. You gasp into the kiss, pleasantly surprised by his greedy movements; palms moving impatiently across your skin.

“I want everything off,” you nod, matching his fervent fingers—fighting to unbutton your blouse—and instead of doing what any normal, sane person would do in a situation like this, asking you to unbutton it, he simply rips the fabric apart, literally tearing it off your person like a flimsy piece of wood. Your jaw drops as the buttons clatter to the floor.

"Felix,” you start, but his feverish mouth stops you. “It was in the way,” he snarls, unclasping the back of your bra. “You better buy me another one." You breathe, pulling away, but his hand laces in your hair, bringing you back. “You have my card, darling, buy 10." There's nothing more sexy than using somebody else's money and knowing it won't hurt their bank account a bit.

“Oh, baby, you really know how to talk dirty to me." Your snarky words quickly fizz out into a breathy moan when he forces your hips down, rubbing your clit against his hardened bulge. His kisses are frenzied, an almost desperate passion bubbling beneath the surface of all those harsh words and dead buttons lying idly on the floor.

“Are you 100% sure you want to test this theory, love, 'cause once I start,” his teeth scrape across the fragile flesh of your lip. “I don't think I could stop,” he growls, dragging his palms up your naked waist to knead your tits. A shaky sigh tumbles from your throat, feeling the friction of his calloused hands on your nipples.

“Then don't,” you gasp, caught in this perceptual state of euphoria. Your sentences are exchanged through steaming kisses, not seeing the reason to pull away or breathe, for that matter—why would you need oxygen when you're sitting on Lee Fucking Felix's lap?

His mouth turns hesitant as his thighs tense beneath you like he wants to lift you up, but his morals are stopping him. He sighs, pulling away from your lips, which you whine at, missing his heat.

“I ethically can't carry out all the things I'm thinking about doing to you without your full and complete consent.” Your heart swells with warmth at his caring gesture to get your permission.

“Yes, Felix, you have my consent to do-” You lean in to gasp the words on his lips, “Anything to me, now please,” you beg pathetically, "Make me eat my words.” That was all he needed to hoist you up and chuck you on the bed like a paper doll, completely weightless, fluttering into the sheets.

You squeal, his gaze setting fire to your soul, scorching lines as he lingers over the soft ridges of your chest, drifting down into your clothed cunt. You can almost feel him ripping off your thong. He leers at the foot of the bed, slowly pulling apart every single solitary button with provoking patience. He was purely evil for taking so long to do such a simple task, especially when your shirt lays deceased somewhere in shreds on the bedroom floor.

"You know Felix. How would my shirt think seeing its distant cousin being so carefully treated?” You meant it as a joke, but apparently, Felix wasn't really in the mood for jokes. The way he wildly yanks your ankles towards him crawling over you with a half-unbuttoned shirt hanging loosely on his shoulders, only giving you a peak into his chiseled frame.

"That fucking mouth." He cages you onto the bed, engulfing you with his body. “That fucking mouth is going to get you into a lot of trouble, baby." His voice is a low rumble coming from somewhere deep in his chest. It sends pings of pleasure rushing up your spine.

"All the things I should do to you." He drags his lips down your jawline, peppering light kisses across your neck. “For that comment,” he nips that sensitive spot just beneath the bone, pulling a pathetic whimper out of you. “I'm going to make you suffer.” his actions are a complete contraindication to his aggravated tone; soft, gentle pecks that feel like wildfire raging through your muscles. His lips are light on the sweet spots of your skin, “I'm going to tease you until it feels like you can't take it anymore,” he ghosts his mouth over your flesh, hot breath blazing bliss through your bones. 

"I" 

Kiss 

"Could" 

Kiss 

"Do" 

Kiss 

"This" 

Kiss 

"All" 

Kiss 

"Night-" 

You quiver as his finger caresses the collar of your shirt, dragging it  ever-

So

Slightly

Down

Tension thrums through the room as your clit throbs for his touch. You just want to shove his face into your cunt and let his wandering tongue toy with the delicate bud and not the collarbone he's teasing with his teeth.

“I could tease you for hours, dragging my lips across your skin,” he's acting out everything he says like some sick, twisted play, “How long do you think you would last?” Not very fuckin' long, you know that for sure, the way his wandering hands seem to graze every stretch of skin at an excruciatingly steady pace and yet skirting right across the spots where you yearn for him the most. “I touch you in every place-” He drags his finger up the length of your waist, drifting between the valley of your breasts, just to stroke soft circles around your nipple, avoiding the sensitive skin in-between. He leans into your ear, fanning hot, sultry breaths across your cheek. Your body erupts in goosebumps as his voice drops in tone. “You don't want me." You squeeze your eyes shut, breath hitching in your throat; you're genuinely convinced you're going to die, combusting into a million bursting burning flames. There was a configuration on your skin, and the only way to put it out was Felix's face between your thighs; as if he could read your mind, he drifts downward, crawling back on the bed.

He drops to his knees in front of you, still seeming so powerful in his submissive stance, and when he lifts your ankle to his lips, you realize he's teasing you even on the floor with glassy half-lidded eyes blown wide with lust. His mouth was carrassesing the ball of your anckle; tongue, tracing the line of your calf. It was such a passionate form of pain, the way his teeth dug into your flesh only for his tongue to soothe the ache.

Your head tilted backward, spinning in the way he worshipped you, his tongue telling you words his brain couldn't quite convey. It was oddly intimate, especially as his lips brushed the swell of your thighs, whispering secret promises on your skin. It felt like time had cracked—trickling into an absent form of nothingness. You tremble beneath the possessive pads of his hands, holding your bucking hips down.

“Please” you whine, frustrated tears forming pools in your lash line. He's so brutal yet so beautiful, all at the same time; It reminded you of some sort of twisted poetry, a sensual paradox, living under the laws of juxtaposition—the vulgar words melted into the page, twisting and turning into your deepest dirtiest fantasies; no matter how sinful the words seemed to be, they always sprouted into something stunning like a blackened rose or a burning butterfly. You can't help but admire the way their wings flutter off, glowing like a dying star, flaring its final goodbye—soft hues of a bold, blazing blue before slowly being snuffed out.

(cookies interuptions: i dont know how i felt about that 😖)

Your stomach soared as your lashes stuttered shut, eyes rolling in the back of your head as he probs the muscle of your hip with his tongue, not before promptly dragging his teeth across the bone.

"Felix," You whine, squeezing the sheets beneath your palms,

“This was what you wanted, yeah?” His voice feels like fire on your skin.

“No."

“No?” he mocks, pouting in some sick form of sympathy.

“No!” You whip your head around violently, slamming your fists onto the bed. Your frustration must have sparked a loose wire in your head, making you a little bit wild and a lot a bit stupid. He grabs your face, roughly squeezing the flesh of your cheeks. His eyes narrow in a stern gaze.

“Don't test me." He snaps, digging his fingers harder, forcing your lips into a pitiful pout. “You started this love,” he says, dropping his hand to trace a finger over the curve of your lip. “Don't get upset when it doesn't go the way you planned.”

He draws patterns on your skin, blazing a bitter path from your lips down the curve of your jaw, dripping into the valley of your breasts. You pant, breath stuttering in your throat.

"What did you think was going to happen, love, with that snarky little mouth of yours?” He creeps lower. “You want me to touch you?” he whispers, sadistically inching two fingers closer to your clenching core. His voice was like molten cream trickling down his trachea.

"Prove to me you can listen.” His hand dips into your panties “Prove to me you can be a good girl.” You sigh, body buzzing with anticipation. It felt like the planets were finally aligning in a swelling earth-shattering symphony, and as he sank into the bed, creeping his face closer to your throbbing core, you clench your eyelids closed, muscles rigid with suspense. He tisks, tilting your head forward.

"Look at me, love” His lips dust over your clothed clit  “Keep those pretty eyes on me.”

You moan, both at his words and how he licks a hot, wet stripe up your concealed entrance; reluctantly, you tilt your head up, positioning yourself over the stacked pillows so you won't droop.

“That's my girl." His eyes were heavy with lust, like drops of honey swimming in pools of ink; the way his pupils took control of his usually sunny aura, dominance seemed to transform him. He was like a burning butterfly confined in a chrysalis too long, and even with his wings fluttering off, he knew he was going to make the most of the time while they were still attached to his skin. 

Oh, how he was going to make you eat your words.

©CookieCreates (posted: July, 4th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.

may y/ns shirt rest in peace

let us all mourn 😞

~cookiecreates 🍪

[nias-nook]

Bill Cipher and The Unicorn in Captivity

Soooo, I haven't been looking at Bill related posts much since the book dropped as I have mixed feelings on what TBOB and the subsequent site have revealed about him, his motives, his backstory etc., but (and maybe someone beat me to this) one thing I haven't seen anyone talk about yet is this,

So maybe I'm stating the obvious here, but this is The Unicorn Rests in a Garden, also known as The Unicorn in Captivity. This piece was a part of The Unicorn Tapestries. Its origins are shrouded in mystery and super interesting but I'm not really gonna touch on that here.

Now there is something to be said about how this one piece, and the rest of the tapestries tie to Bill. I'll briefly go over what the tapestry meant when it was made then dive into what contemporary interpretations of the piece say about Bill and his fundamental inability to redeem himself.

Also just want to establish before we get into this that I am...Not a scholar when it comes to this stuff. I just happened to recognise this tapestry and its symbolism when it dropped on the website and had to put my thoughts somewhere. I might add more later if I've forgotten anything, which I probably have.

Given this was a piece made in Europe in the Middle Ages, it's perhaps unsurprising that a lot of interpretations of it are biblical, but we can (mostly) safely assume Hirsch isn't going for a Christ allegory here. Then again, maybe he's going for nothing and all of this is pointless.

What is a little interesting in the wake of TBOB is its ties to marriage.

These tapestries are heavily theorised to have been made to celebrate a wedding, and their comparisons of love and marriage to a hunt that inevitably leads to the imprisonment and taming of your lover. Of course, Bill quite literally suggests this method in the book with The Love Cage that he uses in Weirdmageddon, but there's a million 'Billford is canon' posts (though I think that's reductive at BEST) out there so let's table that as it's pretty self-explanatory. Bill and Ford have been hunting each other for decades and Bill imprisons him in a so-called 'Love Cage' to try and convince Ford to be his 'partner' (be it platonic or romantic). This is what a victory in a relationship is to him.

What I'd like to focus on is the modern interpretation of The Unicorn in Captivity as a self-imposed prison.

"Look at that little unicorn! The beatific smile. He's happy now. He gets to live in a beautiful garden."

"Yeah, in a cage."

"A protective barrier. No one's hunting him anymore. Nor can he hurt anyone with that horn of his."

This summary of the piece is taken from the aptly titled Unicorn in Captivity from another animated series, The Venture Bros. (which, by the way, if you're looking for another show that's a whimsical and fun riff on 80s pop culture with a big mystery element, highly recommend), but this of course isn't the first piece of media to portray it this way. the most notable being The Unicorn in Captivity poem by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

The unicorn is, on the surface, a prisoner. The Theraprism that Bill is now trapped in is a place he longs to escape, but that's the thing, isn't it?

He could escape any time he wanted to.

Bill, like the unicorn, is trapping himself more than the Theraprism is trapping him, but his situation isn't to be pitied, it's karmic justice. What's so satisfying about Bill's eventual comeuppance is that he's the one making himself suffer. The only thing Bill needs to do to escape is to admit he was wrong, to stop revelling in the suffering of others, but...Well, he chooses not to.

He could slip his head

From the jewelled noose

So lightly tied -

If he tried,

As a maid could loose

The belt from her side;

He could slip the bond

So lightly tied -

If he tried.

For all of his guilt about his parents and his so-called 'dark and troubled past', Bill has never regretted a single person he's hurt since. He didn't regret taking over the world, he regretted being caught. He didn't regret hurting Ford, he regretted losing him. Bill will probably be doomed to wallow in the Theraprism for all eternity, cursing his situation and blaming everyone else for his inevitable downfall. An overgrown child who once had too much power and lost it all throwing a tantrum for the ages.

But now he can't hurt anyone with that horn of his.

[kalopses-sonderes]

Hey, hyper anon here...had this idea for a self aware cookie run x readers series or one shot If you're interested! It's kinda based off your imposter au!

Y/n gets transported into game and brought before the imposter! The imposter starts talking but then y/n claims they wanna talk to the imposter in private! When they talk in private, only the imposter and y/n, y/n reveals that they just want to live a normal life among cookies and they are totally fine with the imposter being the ruler of the cookies because they seem very cool and being a ruler seems too stressful (bonus: y/n doesn't feel worthy of being the cookie's ruler as well because they don't have powers or something like the imposter does...and bonus bonus if the imposter can do stuff like summon amazing cotton candy and stuff to bribe cookies with!) Imposter calls cookies in and apologizes for the misunderstanding and 'mistaking (favorite flavor) cookie as an imposter' and apologizes by helping them find a home and a place!

Oh and later on...cookies read imposter's dairy and discover that imposter is...well an imposter, and what their baker said to them and the little...deal they made (imposter being ruler, y/n just living their life as a normal cookie citizen of kingsom) but has an evil yet good plan (good in y/n's unknowing eyes, bad in cookie's eyes) where the imposter has slowly been bribing y/n and winning their heart so even if they are found out, y/n is singing their praises from on high and would vouch for them! (Example of bribes: giving y/n their favorite sweets, becoming their closest friend...which leads into something that would horrifying cookies more because jealousy, showing y/n amazing tricks, and taking them to places one could only DREAM of and more!) Thing that horrified cookies: the imposter was first doing it out of manipulation but is clearly starting to actually LIKE the baker and wants to be their friend...not to charm em to have the cookie's sweet baker singing their praises!

So, in order to get their y/n back and make y/n sing THEIR praises instead and make y/n WANT to he the center of their world...they start counter bribing! They start doing nice things to and for y/n, claiming that it's because they want to welcome y/n at first and then slowly up the spoiling...giving y/n more and more attention, making sure y/n is melting at THEIR fingertips and not the imposter's...making y/n desire them and not the imposter.

And when time is right...imposter is exposed! Imposter tries to get y/n on their side....buuut y/n can't resist the cookie's siren call of a sweet beckon and possibly a cute saying along the lines of 'oh sweetheart, come to [cute nickname they call themselves]' or 'oh [cute nickname], you shouldn't stress about this buisness...come, let's go home and [activity they like or find relaxing...examples, go bake some monster muffins to munch on or go cuddle or give y/n a backrub or something]' and it makes y/n go running to them like a savior unable to resist a siren's call.

A/n: Omg I want this to be a series, so this is gonna be like mostly my brain rotting rambles and small portions of little fics so we can build off it later on in the series

All the writing in purple is the little fics, default color is just my rambles and headcanons about it

“Imposter for Baker? Count me in!”

Series masterlist

- Just imagine little cookie y/n plopping into the cookie verse like “oop, guess this is my new life now.” They just start living a normal life on the outskirts of their kingdom so no one can find them. Cause, if you you were transported to a new universe, you would think you were their god/baker or they were gonna try and hunt you down. Soooo y/n decided to keep to themselves and not let their presence be known yet.

- BOOM! There’s news of the “baker” being spotted and brought to the big castle to take there throne and high power blah blah. The Imposter looks similar to you, just with purple eyes(If you have purple eyes… now you don’t). You can’t tell what the true bakers eye color is because the statues aren’t painted, so the imposter fit the bill well.an they had powers! It has to be their baker then!

- Y/n is absolute happy about that! They get to sit back and relax, they go in public now and just tell cookies they just were “ blessed with the looks of their baker” and how they aren’t them. Some of the cookies were extremely skeptical but let it slide since they said they weren’t their baker and weren’t trying to impersonate them, cause the imposter is totallyyyy the real baker!

“You look oddly familiar..” Pure Vanilla looks Y/n up and down.

The cookies surround Y/n, trying to figure out why you look exactly like their baker.. just with your boring eyes, not neon purple eyes like their totally real baker has. Espresso has a magnifying glass in your cookie face, looking at all the detail.

‘Uhhhhhhh… I was just blessed by our baker, and uh, they blessed me with their beauty and I’m not them. I don’t have purple eyes or cool powers! I’m just trying to live a normal life like everyone else.” You say, any normal person would have seen right through you and what you were saying, but the cookies believed you. You weren’t claiming to be their baker so they have no reason to not let you live a peaceful life, it could just be an odd coincident!

“Well they don’t seem like their lying.. Guess they get to go peacefully for now till the Baker decided what’s to do with them.” Milk shrugs, everyone nodding and humming in agreement with Milk.

- Once the imposter finds out you’re there they are instantly scared. What if you go hunting them?! Or take the throne and execute them?!

- They order a few cookies to go collect you so they can have a one on one talk with you disguising it as a dinner twitch their “look a like” for funnies. Once the cookies bring you back, the imposter leads you away to a more secluded room in the castle so no one can spy on you both as they question you.

“This is my throne and-“ The imposter started once they closed the door the small storage room.

“You can keep it, I don’t want to be the ruler of this kingdom, just live a normal life.” You interrupted, you looked pretty calm about the whole ordeal while the imposter looked like they’ve seen a ghost.

“Wait.. what? You’re just gonna let me keep it.” The imposter look dumbfounded, not actually believing you’ll let them keep at this power. They thought they wold have to threaten you or make an official announcement that you’re an imposter and let the cookies hunt you down for the. “Not even gonna put up a small fight.? I didn’t even get to finish my monologue I worked so hard on..” :(

- You got to live a pretty normal life under the imposters rule. Until Pure Vanilla decides to go through the imposters room and found a diary, I snooped through it and read it….. Finding out you’re the real baker! -insert Pure Vanilla doing surprised pikachu face- He was flabbergasted(I love this word so much for no reason) He didn’t expect to be worshipping the WRONG baker the entire time and their real baker was being bribed to like the imposter and be their friend. So if the imposter gets found out, you’d take Imposters side over the cookies! He also found out how you never wanted to be Baker and let the imposter take your spot! D:

- It clicked in Pure Vanilla’s head, you have been spending loads of time with the imposter and received even as house from them and gifts. He came up with an idea to also bribe you! He gets the other cookies in on it.. It’s basically a full on war!

- your house is basically full of gifts from all the cookies and you’re absolutely clueless on what this about and you didn’t mind it at first till you could barely see your living room floor from all their gifts piled up in there!

Who will win the real baker? Imposter or the cookies? Find out on the next episode of “Imposter for Baker? Count me in!”

A/n: kept it very open ended so the other parts of this series will fit well :D

[jirsungs]

ep 13: my wonderwall, at least i hope so

word count: 1.5k words

It's already been two months and three weeks since you and Jisung started hanging out. That's also how long the overthinking thoughts of whether you really want to pursue this relationship or not have been torturing you as they're kept in a locked folder in the back of your mind. 

You knew you and Jisung had to have the talk at some point, but every time you tried, the timing was always a bit… off.

The first time you tried was two weeks ago, at another Rockway gig. It was getting on your nerves that a bunch of screaming girls came to that particular performance of theirs, especially when some of them were eyeing Jisung and losing their minds every time he looked over in their direction to play his typical drummer role of pleasing the audience correctly. Even though he caught their attention the whole night, you caught his, which is how you succeeded in pulling him aside after Rockway finished their performance.

“Jisung, can I talk to you for a moment?”

It wasn't the right time or place, sure, but you had to get this off your chest because your heart felt like it was on a ticking time bomb.

Jisung joins you in the corner after he frees himself away from the girls around him once Chenle gets his signal that he’s desperate for a way out. “What’s up? Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to talk to you. I know this isn't a good time right now but I seriously need to say this.”

He only raises his brow, “Okay.” He's anxious, but he doesn't have time to dwell on how he's feeling when he's worried about you. The way you’re visibly stressing out has him putting the pieces together on why you called him over, but as Chenle and Jeno said, he was going to wait for your lead.

“I like—” 

You. I like you. That's what you were supposed to say, and so much more. Until some dumb overly excited girls came over and interrupted your private conversation. 

The squeals of “Jisung, you did soooo well tonight!”, “You were so hot up there!” and “Can I get your number?” sounded blurry in your head with how irritated you were getting.

Yeah… You ended up leaving Jisung and the party in general despite the sad protests from your friends on how “you needed to cheer yourself up.” But, you brushed them off by telling them that it was impossible to do that right now. 

So, you ended your night in your apartment alone with the accompaniment of a big bucket of cookie dough ice cream, multiple episodes of How I Met Your Mother, and no friends or Jisung by your side. 

You tried again the week after, but just like last time, it did not turn out so well.

You should've known that it wouldn't work because it was during a hangout with both of your friend groups, specifically hosted at Jisung and Jeno's apartment.

Jaemin, Haechan, Chenle, and Yeonjun were busy being loud as they screamed over one another during a game of Mario Kart 8 in the living room while Jeno helped Ning finish a two-thousand-piece puzzle downstairs. And, Mark and Renjun were nowhere to be found due to them both having different plans set for that day.

Which left you and Jisung in his room. Alone. He originally brought you up here to show off his new collectibles, so you weren't sure how you ended up watching a movie with him on his bed.

It seemed like the perfect time to tell him, it really did. But just as you were about to open your mouth, your phone rang, leaving you on the phone with Renjun for three whole hours while he ranted about someone who pissed him off at his group study session. And by the time your conversation with Renjun ended and you hung up, Jisung was already occupied by a game of Super Smash Bros with your friends in the living room. 

You're still mad at Renjun for ruining the moment.

And now, you're here, a few days after, in Jeno and Jisung’s apartment once again, but this time, sitting on their living room couch with him right next to you. 

Neither of you spoke during the movie you were currently watching, probably because you both wanted to ignore the awkward tension that's been spiraling around the two of you for the past few weeks. But to you, now seemed like the perfect time to break that. It was dark out and you were both left alone as Jeno had to leave to run errands. 

“Ji, can you pause the movie?”

Without asking, Jisung mutters “Sure.” before grabbing the remote control and pausing the movie.

With his attention on you, you sit up and fix your posture on the couch, which he mirrors. You thought fixing your appearance would help balance yourself from the overcoming emotions you knew you were going to have at this very moment. 

“Okay, well—”

But then, you get interrupted again. Not by Jeno walking in, or a random phone call from one of your friends, but by him.

“Wait! Before you tell me your thing, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”

Despite the small annoyance that was creeping on you, you dismissed it and instead, anticipated what he was going to say. Most times, you didn’t mind how oblivious Jisung was, but right now, you really wish he could read the room and let you say what’s on your mind. You hope he’s going to say the same thing you were going to say, but he didn’t need to interrupt you for it…

Your silence cues him to continue, “You remember Oasis? You know, the band I told you about?” You nod. “Okay, um, there’s this one song by them, it’s actually one of my favorites. It’s called Wonderwall, it’s kinda like a love song but uh—I’m not saying we’re in love ‘cause obviously we’re not—”

“We’re not?”

Shit. That’s not what Jisung meant.

He panics, “No! I mean–yes? Fuck, I dunno, Y/N.” 

“Oh. Okay.”

The thing is, you know that he didn’t mean anything bad out of it, then how come you felt your heart break into two hearing how unsure he felt about you? Should you even confess right now? No, this doesn’t feel right.

The room is full of complete and uncomfortable silence with no other words said, and it annoys the hell out of you. You can tell it bothers Jisung just as much because you watch him mentally stress out in front of you, his face in his hands as he lets out an exasperated sigh. Both of your minds were pushing you to fix the problem, but you can’t. You don’t know how to. This is new for you both, and that’s the problem. 

Just as Jisung grasps a new idea in his head, he sees you physically pull farther away from him before you grab your bag from the side and stand up from your place on the couch. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, your voice coming out quavered, “I–um, I gotta go.”

Scared to see his reaction or hear his voice, you thought what was best. You escape. You rush out of his apartment, giving him no time to react at all. The last sounds Jisung heard were the slam of the door and the words Chase after her, don’t her go from the little voice in his head.

Jisung knew you were hiding yourself away from him again. He noticed it the first night you hung out and some moments after that, but he felt that it was insensitive to bring it up out of nowhere. Right now was one of those moments. 

When you’re outside of the apartment, you’re met with Jeno who’s looking at you, puzzled and worried. Even though it felt like your world was crashing down on you, the way he almost resembled a Samoyed dog and how you could imagine the cogs in his brain turning lightened your mood a little bit. But just like Jisung, you gave him no time to say anything. 

“Y/N!” You hear Jeno call after you after you quickly walk away. 

Just like he expected you to, you ignore him and he watches you rush down the stairs. Many scenarios were circling in his head right now, but he didn’t want to assume the worst before he asked Jisung himself.

Jeno inserts his assigned key into the key slot before turning it, the door unlocking right after. He walks in and sees no Jisung in the living room or kitchen. 

There’s no way that kid escaped. He thinks.

He’s about to let it pass him by until he notices Jisung’s door slightly cracked open. He walks over and gently pushes it to reveal the younger one sprawled on his bed. Though he knows it’s not the best moment, he snickers at the sight. Oh, Jisung's in love. 

Then, he hears a pouty “You know, I can hear you, Jeno.” come from Jisung before he watches him switch positions on his bed. His disheveled hair and the I fucked up expression he’s wearing tell Jeno all he needs to know. 

Already knowing he’s going to be here for a while, the said man opens the door more to give himself space to get comfortable. He rests his body against the doorframe, folds his arms then sighs, “Alright, what’d you do, kid?”

“I messed up.”

previous ☆ masterlist ☆ next

note: i had my considered "sad songs" on repeat the whole time i was writing this and i think i memorized every single song by the time i was done with it ☠️ also, new twt pfps 😱 (they made me feel better) but i am wishing our dms couple all the happiness in the world ☹️

🎫: @idkwhatursayinh @sunghoonsgfreal @multifandomania @nanaxwi @odxrilove @sourrpatched @hancafe @chaellaa @dojaejunging @jising-jisang-jisung @heheheeral @haechansbbg @renjunsversion @seunghancore @woshixinqgiu @jiiieun @pinknjm @mrshwang-park @neozon3nha @joyzluvr @aerivrs @nosungluv @haechology

[readerinsertz]

Hi! I saw that your requests are open but it didn’t specify if you were comfortable with doing pregnancy fluff.

If you are comfortable with that I’d like to request Kagami or Murasakibara with a pregnant s/o where they feel the baby kick for the first time or something similar

If not that’s fine as well! Thanks!

AN: this got away with me- just a lot of fluff and some kicks

Okay first of all this man is gonna be terrified

Becoming a dad, bringing life into this world? Panik.

He's great at basketball but everything else, he's less good with lol

After a short period of shock and panic, he'll definitely get over it

Maybe playing some basketball with his friends helps get his head the right way

Will not let you do anything

He's your servant for the next 9 months

Makes it very well known that you're not to hesitate if you want anything

More than happy to run to a shop at 2am to buy something for you

But adores when you ask for his home cooking

Probably will bulk cook and then freeze them when he's got the time for when baby arrives

He assembles pretty much all the stuff in the nursery although he doesn't follow the instructions and ends up getting it wrong so you have to also help

Will eventually accept your help but he's holding everything, bringing everything to you, setting everything up. You try to put up a mobile which weighs nothing but he sees you on tip-toes and is moving before he realises to stop you

When you get a bit further along, he calms down a bit

Always always ALWAYS has a hand on you in some way- hand on your thigh, arm around your shoulders or waist

Gets a bit cocky because everyone KNOWS he made you pregnant

Puffs his chest out when men glance at you two and then immediately turns into a teddy bear when you turn and ask him something mundane

Takes you to all your appointments, arranges all the dates and times for you- all you have to do is show up lol

Researches on the internet and brings questions to the doctor

Some are reasonable like what food should he make for you, what vitamins are helpful, sleep positions?

Also, will ask completely straight-faced about other things like your mucus plug

I feel like he doesn't even think to ask about doing anything remotely sexual with you- he's so focused on your well being. You'll have to be the one to ask the doctor

Also very attentive and actually takes notes when you go to those baby classes- like this man studies. He puts more effort than any school exam

Probably will call your bump his basketball

Is soooo overjoyed when in the later weeks, you paint the bump as a basketball

I did some research and the average basketball has a radius of 38cm and the average bump is like 30cm so maybe your bump won't be the same size as an actual basketball but Kagami will continue to measure its growth

"It's half the size of a basketball!" "It's almost the size of one!"

Only when he's more confident will he lightly pat your bump like he's dribbling a basketball

You go with him to training just once. He doesn't trust that the basketball won't accidentally be sent to where you're sitting on the bench.

It's cute until you have this 190+cm man hovering around you like that Spongebob caveman meme constantly. Everyone agrees it's better if you don't come again

Definitely does that thing where he cradles and holds your bump up for you from behind- researched how to help his partner and did it and you were !!!! please continue

Anyway, he always splays his large hand over your bump-it's comforting to feel both you and your child under his palm

During one of these, the baby kicks whilst he's staring at the TV

Whips his head over to look at you, incredulous and asking if you felt that too

Pulls your shirt up to examine your belly and tickles the area where baby had kicked to try and get them to do it again

It's another source of closeness- you're carrying the baby so you're connected 24/7 for 9 months but he only gets those moments to be physically close to baby so yea he's gonna try to get his baby to kick as much as possible

Like those gifs where the baby's hand appears bulging out of the skin? loooooves it

Will start scolding the baby when they're kicking too much

"You're not a footballer/soccer player!" will then immediately go against his words and tell you regardless of what sport they're gonna play, if any, he'll support them no matter

You get a special maternity shirt with his number and name on it, he's elated when he sees it

Will probably buy a matching set for you him and baby

You probably steal all his shirts- they're big enough to cover your bump and they're comfy and smell like him

He will purposefully buy more so you can "steal" them

Would make a bump cast and then paint it the colour of a basketball and put it with all his other trophies

Murasakibara is lot more calm than Kagami

"You're pregnant? nice."

Probably leaves you wondering if he actually knows what's going on

So takes you by surprise when he asks if you should be eating a coffee flavoured doughnut

You get upset and mad from the pregnancy hormones thinking he's calling you fat

Will have to pull you into his arms and stroke your hair to comfort you and tell you that doctors recommend no more than 2 cups of coffee and that you've already had your allotted coffee earlier

That makes you cry more because you're 1) guilty for doubting him and 2) touched he's actually researching stuff

I feel like he'll probably stop you from eating too many bad things like sweets and chocolate so you and baby are healthy. But at the same time, I think when he sees you struggling or not looking happy he'll give you some to cheer you up cuz that cheers him up

Will love to take naps with you- pulls you back into the bed and tells you you need your rest

Moves so he's facing your bump and then complains to it about you trying to leave

Will be eating one of his snacks and then halfway, will offer it to your bump

You're just like Atsushi wtf?

I think he'll be a bit more grumpy than Kagami if you ask him for something at 2am- will grumble but drag himself out of bed. When he comes back he has what you asked for but also other food cravings that he knows you'll want after your pickle-only burger

If you're struggling with not eating sweet things he will go on a diet with you too. This man shows his love through acts of service

Once again his hand is MASSIVE so yea he will be able to wrap his palm around your bump completely

Like no matter how big you get, he will make you feel small

The first time he feels the baby kick he doesn't react. Takes a few seconds to process what just happened

"Huh? Someone kicked me," he pouts

He goes so soft when he realises- there's so much love and adoration on his face as he looks down at your belly

Will whisper a quite "hi"

After a while, he'll complain about the kicks

"Why do they like kicking me? No fair!

Shopping for baby things is pretty intense. They're so small and he's so big

Has a mini panic at how small his baby is going to be- he's scared that he's gonna hurt his child or he's gonna break the toys

With how big he is, you assure him you'll be giving birth to a big baby

Holds up the tiny outfits with a look of awe and amazement that humans can be that small

Definitely buys a fruit each week the same size as your baby to track the growth

Sometimes he has to buy in bulk and you're like what are we gonna do with a kilogram of raisins!

He bakes things with them- feels a bit weird eating the raisin he's been busy all week claiming was his baby but it becomes a tradition you grow to look forward to

In the first two trimesters, he's just about willing to travel to countries close by to play but only for a week and only the closest

The final trimester it's almost impossible for him to go and play even if it's in Japan just in a city that's a few hours away

He'll only go if you're with him and then he fusses over you for the entire journey

Will always point at you when he does something cool in the match

Probably will run his hands down his stomach and over an imaginary bump to dedicate that move to your baby

Will unironically put a basketball under his shirt to see what it's like

Aomine tells him he forgot boobs so then he puts some oranges down as well.

Complains when the oranges fall and calls you

"My orange-boobs are too small. They fall!" .... "Your what, Atsushi?"

Lets you clingfilm a watermelon to his stomach and idk what sort of fruit for boobs

He's okay with it for like 5 minutes and then complains about the weight

The fucker will sit down with a big sigh, turns to you and totally serious will go "eugh, pregnancy, amirite?"

So he's bad at handling small things. When you get too big to bend over and put your shoes on and tie the laces, he does try! But it's too fiddley so he buys you multiple velcro shoes

They make you feel like an old woman.... but they are convenient, you'll begrudgingly admit

You find him using your bump cast as a container for his snacks

[angelpuns]

If his rage had been white-hot earlier it was now something more like molten lava gurgling just below the surface. Why couldn't his dum-dum twin just sit still for a moment so Donnie could tranquilize him and they could all just breathe!? 

Instead Leo had lured them into a trap,in their own home, and now held the three of them captive in a cage of all things. 

He should have been looking out for booby traps or been quicker to react, but Donnie was so angry he could hardly think. 

Yes, Leo's reaction to put them all in time out was…infuriatingly logical, but somehow the actually smart, strategic choices Leo was making today only pissed him off further. If only because he was worried about Leo's safety. And he was a little embarrassed that stupid rat trick worked. 

“ so,” Leo drawled, grabbing a chair and flipping it around. He sat so his arms leaned against the back, which looked pretty fucking stupid, if you ask Donnie. 

“ what do you want from me?”

Mikey leaned forward, grabbing the bars of the cage and giving them a little test shake. 

“ Leo, c'mon, it's us! Your brothers! We're just trying to-”

“ okay you know what's not fun villain banter? When I give you all a chance to monologue about your whole evil plan and instead you start literally gas lighting me- or wait is this gatekeep?” Leo huffed, standing and kicking the chair away impatiently, “I known it sure as hell isn't girl boss, cause that’s my job.” ( Leo what do you mean by That. Leo. Leo explain ) 

“ What are you-” Donnie groaned and rubbed a hand down his face, “can you just listen for once? He's telling the truth. We're your brothers, and you were hit with an amnesia spell that makes you forget us!” 

He didn't know how to prove it, obviously, even though the proof of them having bedrooms and possessions in the lair should be quite enough. 

Leo drew his swords with a scoff, pointing one Donnie's neck through the bars. 

“ oh and that's soooo convenient, isn't it? That I only forgot you all? I think I would know if I had spent my childhood with three goofballs that don't even notice a net trap,” He pulled away with a huff, “ Whatever, if you won't tell me what I want then…then I guess your my prisoners now!”

Donnie wanted to reach through the bars and strangle him. Amnesiac or not. 

“ Do you- are you even listening!? C'mon, how else would we know how to get to the lair? How else would we know your name?” Donnie hissed, “ how else would I know that you - Leonardo Hamato - have had a crush on that fucking cereal mascot since you were six!?” 

Leo stood stock still. He didn't say anything for a second, face paling a little in the dim lighting. It was silent for several seconds, Donnie, Raph and Mikey exchanging Looks. Maybe, somehow, that had convinced him…? 

Then he turned, swords swiping dangerously at his side, “ how long have you been stalking me!? I'm- what kind of fucked up game are you playing at!?” 

He seemed lost for a second - panicked even. Paranoid. 

“ Leo, calm down, you're gonna-”

“Calm down! Ha! I just found out that- that I've been watched my whole fucking life!” He laughed incredulously, backing away from the cage, “ no no no more…youre not gonna find me this time, I got rid of the tracker and-and I'll go as far as I have to!”

“Leo, listen to me-” Raph’s voice came out a little too rough and Leo’s voice pitched up in terror. 

“ STOP SAYING MY NAME LIKE YOU KNOW ME!” 

And in a flash of bright blue and a ringing in Donnie's ear, Leo was gone. 

---

More 50au!

My lil bro Lychee told me to stop saying these were bad so legally I must comply. However it's not the best it could be so :/

Anyway haha did we really think Leo would react normally to this? this guy has literally been in panic mode all day he's obviously not gonna take this information well. Also I didn't want him to so there.

Part 1 | Part 8 | Part 10

[goldeunoias]

Decisions.

A/N: I like writing for Jay stans the most because they give me the most reblogs and comments instead of just only leaving likes (which doesn't really do much darlings) soooo here's a Jay fic for you amazing guys &lt;;33333333

Summary: Yandere! JayX Female Reader (it shows bit by bit the more it goes on)

word count: 3,1k i think idk

Warnings: this literally has my favorites, horse cock Jay, teasing dom Jay, like multiple orgasms, just like....horknee thoughts bc it's me....upon proofreading there is like...anal fingering look I'm....a whore okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10 years ago~

Jongseong sniffled as he sat down with his lunch, once again eating alone. Had he known the kids here would be so mean he would've begged his parents to let him stay back where he was from with his grandmother, but to no avail.

"Hello! I like your glasses! They make you look smart. Are you?" the girl who stood in front of him curiously asked. She was the first person who had even bothered to stare in his direction, let alone talk to him.

"U-Uh I don't know. Maybe?" he cautiously replied, waiting for a cruel punchline to follow.

Instead, she giggled, sitting with her lunch in front of him.

"You're cute," she laughed, opening her lunch.

Jongseong looked down shyly, feeling his ears turn into shades of peonies.

From that point on he'd always thought you cuter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood outside the club, wondering what the hell you were thinking.

You'd never been in a proper relationship.

Never been on a proper date.

And yet here you were, outside a BDSM club with an appointment that you'd made.

"Well, I'm sure women have made dumber decisions," you muttered to yourself, shaking out your sweaty palms and walking inside. The establishment looked excellent and pristine, which was expected since it was your city's nicest and safest S&M club. So at the bare minimum, your impulsive decision was backed by somewhat sound logic.

When you went up to the counter you found a petite lady wearing a mask, though you saw the corners of her eyes turn up as you approached.

"Hello, do you have an appointment?" she said in a soft voice. You nodded and told her your name and appointment time, thankful the receptionist seemed professional and not judgemental like your anxiety had expected.

"You're gonna be in room 305, with Jongseong Park as confirmed in our phone call. We recommend that you shower for hygiene, and there are bathrooms located in each of the rooms. If there are any accommodations missing such as towels, soap, or anything else feel free to use the phone to call and a staff member will bring items as needed. If you feel scared or unsafe at any time there are red buttons in our rooms which can be pressed and staff members will rush to aid you. Our doms go through different training and extensive background checks so rest assured you are in safe hands," she informed you gently, giving you a brief description of how to find your room.

You gave her a sincere "thank you" and walked off to find your room, finding it easy enough thanks to her directions. As expected, when you opened the room no one was there since you were informed on the phone that your master doesn't show up until you've pressed one on the phone, to make sure you have ample time to prep if needed.

From appearance, it looked like a normal hotel room, though upon further inspection you found many BDSM items in the drawers and cabinets. You wrote on your profile and informed me on the phone that you needed someone who would ease you very gently into all of this. You took a shower and got into the bathrobe that was complimentary, still keeping your underwear as you were too nervous to go completely naked just yet.

Taking a deep breath you went over to the phone and pressed one, sitting on the bed and twiddling your thumbs until his arrival. There were three knocks on the door before it slowly opened, the man keeping his head down as he stood at the threshold.

He asked you for your name and you told him, Jongseong raising his head once he had confirmation it was you. His voice was deep and warm, causing goosebumps to rise on your freshly washed skin as he slowly walked over to you.

He knelt down at the foot of the bed where you sat, grabbing your hands and massaging them gently.

"Mm, you're even prettier than the photos they gave me kitten. Is it okay if I call you that?" he inquired sweetly, the gentle command he held in his tone making your spine tingle.

"T-that's okay," you stuttered out, the cotton bathrobe feeling 10x hotter now. "Do you have a preference on what you like to be called?"

You watched as Jongseong cocked his head to the side in playful thought, the shadow of his jawline becoming more prominent as he did so.

"Why don't you call me 'sir'. Or you can call me my name if 'sir' feels too intimidating," he added on, squeezing your hands when he felt your erratic heartbeat through your wrists.

"That works," you rushed out, feeling stupid in his presence. "Sorry you probably have way more experienced clients and better ones than dealing with someone like me," you apologized.

Jongseong shook his head and pulled your hands so you were even closer to him, his lips only centimeters away from yours as he spoke.

"Never feel bad for lack of experience kitten. That's what you're here for isn't it?"

You nodded.

"Exactly. And I'm here to make you feel good. Can I kiss you?" he asked gently, smiling slightly when you nodded. His lips were soft in a way that made your toes curl, your hands clenching the material of your bathrobe as you didn't know what else to do with them.

Jongseong sensing your slight discomfort moved your hands around his neck, gently moving you so you were on your back and he was on top of you.

"When was the last time you were kissed kitten?"

You tensed up at the question and told him through bashful stares that it was freshmen year of college, and you weren't even sure that that counted.

"Sorry, can you tell I'm not the greatest," you muttered out, biting down on your lips in nerves. Jongseong avidly shook his head and pressed his thumb against your bottom lip to prevent you from biting it, cooing at you gently.

"You're just tense is all, holding back. If you came to a place like this that means you have at least some curiosity in kinky sex no?" He teased, holding your chin when you tried to look away from him.

You gulped and nodded.

"Words for me kitten, I gotta have your verbal confirmation on things no?"

"I do." you meekly replied. "I just thought well, um...I'd get more satisfaction if I went to a place like this," you explained to him, your body melting when Jongseong started leaving open-mouth kisses on your neck.

"Mmhmm, tell me more," he urged on, grabbing both of your hands and pinning them above your head.

"I've only had minor sexual experiences in high school and had "real" sex early in college and they weren't good so I gave up on relationships and sex since I didn't-" A moan left your throat as Jongseong's tongue swirled around your pulse.

"Continue kitten," he teased, noticing how you started melting into his touches versus tensing up at them.

"...I d-didn't get good experiences. But I recently got curious and so here I am," you finished. Jongseong came up to your face with a smile that held sinister intent, leaning in close to you.

"Don't worry kitten, I'll make you feel good..." he trailed off, biting your ear gently. "So good that you'll come back to me every time..."

Before you could answer his lips pressed back against yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth with ease. His mouth felt hot and the texture of his tongue against yours made you whimper, feeling droplets of his saliva trickle into your mouth.

When he pulled back you instinctively reached for him and Jongseong couldn't help but smile internally as he let you pull him back in, letting you set the rhythm you wanted.

Your skin was so soft against his callused hands, better than he'd imagined as he slid his fingers underneath your robe and undid it. Before you could cover yourself he pinned your hands to your sides and took an erect nipple into his mouth, letting you feel the texture of his tongue as it swirled around delicately.

You bit down on your tongue to keep what you thought were embarrassing noises in your throat, Jongseong huffing and coming up to stare at you.

"Why aren't you moaning kitten? Are not feeling good?" he inquired sweetly, circling his warm finger around your saliva-laden nipple. You were caught off guard by it and let out a yelp, rushing to cover your mouth before lowering it.

"It's um, not that...I just won't sound like those girls in hentai or porn and I don't know what I am supposed to sound like...is all," you finished weirdly, following Jongseong's movements as he went to the other pert nipple, delicately flicking it with his tongue.

Your breath hitched and Jay chuckled, his finger tugging at the bud.

"Oh but a kitten, I want to hear you," he drawled slowly, coming up so he was speaking teasingly against your lips. "I want you to have lost your voice by the time I'm done with you. For you to even be heard through the hotel walls," he pushed on.

You gulped at how sultry his voice sounded, your body burning as his calloused hand came in between your thighs. You scrunched your face up and let out a moan at the contact, wondering if he could feel the slick that covered your underwear.

"Thatta girl, show sir how good you're feeling," he praised gently, kissing your jawline.

"Can you...," you stopped yourself at your own nerves.

Jongseong stopped and perked up, his carob eyes making you feel extra shy. "No no what is it, tell me kitten."

You swallowed thickly. "I've never really, well never actually had a guy eat me out andIwantedtoknowhowitfeltlike," you managed out, unable to make eye contact with him. You didn't need to because he was already inching down your body and tugging down your underwear before you could even say anything.

His grip was strong on your calves as he firmly held your legs open, Jonseong's breath getting heavier as he saw your arousal-coated core.

"You wrote in your profile that you don't like it when it's shaved so I didn't," you muttered gently, feeling embarrassed from how intently he was staring.

"Shit kitten~ your pussy's so goddamn pretty, I mean you're dripping onto the sheets already," Jongseong groaned, the tone of his voice causing you to clench around nothing.

You didn't even realize a guy could get so turned on by you, let alone from a region that you found rather embarrassing.

"D-don't just stare at it," you whined, your chest rising as he dragged a digit down the center, gathering up syrupy beads of arousal.

"Of course not kitten...," he trailed off, flattening his tongue against your core and you let out a moan. You didn't realize how textured someone's tongue could be and how warm and wet it was until was circling around your swollen clit, your head lolling off to the side as you gripped his hair.

Jongseong could hardly contain his excitement as sweet honey coated his tongue, spelling out his name with his tongue against your folds.

"You seem to like the letter "o" of my name don't you kitten," he cooed as he slid a single digit in. He raised his brows at the amount of resistance that was met and your reaction, your hands gripping the pillow tighter.

"Do you not finger yourself at all sweetheart?" he inquired as he left open-mouthed kisses on your aching core, curling it in an area that you'd never reached. You shook your head and felt your stomach contract at the feeling, feeling your head get lighter at the sensation.

"It never felt good when I did it and then when a guy did it it just hurt a lot," you whimpered out, your voice breaking at the end as he slid a second digit in.

You never knew that having your core stretched out could feel so good, the squelching noises coming from you making your face burn in bashfulness.

Jongseong on the other hand was reveling in it all, doing his best to not push you to your very limits: he wanted to make you cry and blubber out his name, paint your walls white with his cum, and other sinful things.

Your whimper of "jongseong" snapped him out of his thoughts, the innocent and expectant eyes you gave him almost making him cum right then and there.

"S-sorry I didn't mean to call your name when you said sir but you were lost in thought," you answered, flinching slightly when Jongseong came up face to face with you, shoving his fingers in knuckle deep.

"Shit, I knew there was a reason you shouldn't have said my name," he panted out, pressing on the spongy spot on your walls at every chance he could.

"Why is t-that," you yelped out, legs closing around his hand as you felt a tight knot form in your lower belly. You also felt something else building up as he alternated between pressing down on your clit and scissoring your core, your hands meekly attempting to push his wrist away.

"Because if you say my name I won't be able to hold back," he groaned, his breath hitching as you moaned his name out again.

"I think something weird is going to come out, waitwaitwait," you croaked, your nails leaving claw marks down his tan skin.

"Shhh it's okay kitten just let it out, I got you I got you," he pushed softly in your ear.

Your legs tried to clamp around his hand to stop his movements but his reactions were quicker, situating himself so you could only close your legs around his waist.

"Don't be scared sweetheart, make me proud yeah? It'll feel really good, promise," he cooed at you as he put more force behind his movements, wanting you to unravel from the seams.

Your eyes fluttered for a second as the knot snapped. You were still pushing his hand away as liquid gushed from between your legs, tears forming in your eyes as you felt a pleasure so intense it felt like your body would give out right then and there.

"I-I got your robe wet," you said through panted breaths, trying to say anything to divert the attention away from the liquid that soaked your form and partially his.

Jongseong smiled to himself at the attempt, undoing with with ease and tossing it somewhere in the room. You couldn't help but stare at the erection that was practically forcing its way of his briefs, Jongseong lowering the waistband so you could see him fully.

There was a trail of hair that led from his lower abdomen to his erection, your eyes glued to the area like you were in a trance.

"You can touch it kitten, it doesn't bite," Jongseong purred, gently sitting you up so you could reach him with ease. You wrapped your hand around his length and were surprised at the warmth and weight you felt against your hand.

You gave it a gentle squeeze to see how he'd react and were surprised to hear him hissing through his teeth, his abdomen clenching at your timid movements.

"Why don't you get it nice and wet so it can go in easy yeah?" Jongseong cooed, his dick already twitching at the thought of pushing past your gummy walls.

You gathered up courage and wrapped your mouth around him, hollowing out your cheeks and relaxing your jaw to the best of your abilities. Maybe it was because his intoxicating smell but you were salivating to the point of having droplets trickle down your chin as you got greedy to take more of him.

"Easy there kitten, don't force all in at once," he cooed through a hissed breath, head swimming at how hot your mouth was. You nodded and pulled off of him to circle your tongue around his tip like a popsicle, a sheen glossing his member as you coated it with your saliva.

"That's a good girl~ making me so proud. See how deep you can take me hm?" You nodded and took a deep breath before slowly relaxing your throat around him, the intense groans and pants leaving him giving you more courage.

You weren't able to get down to the base but you were pretty damn close, Jongseong pulling you off of him before he came down your throat.

The cool demeanor Jongseong had started with was gone: his cheeks were rose and there was a sheen of sweat across his body, a ragged "get on your stomach" leaving him as he stroked his member with your saliva.

You did as you were told and gripped the pillows anxiously, Jongseong chuckling and bending over you.

"Don't worry princess, we're gonna make it fit," he taunted against your ear, raising you up by your hips. He grabbed a condom and ripped it with his teeth before pulling down on himself, stroking his base languidly.

You felt the air get knocked out of you as he forced his mushroom head past your walls, your legs kicking from underneath him as you felt the push.

"Jongseong it's not gonna fit, it's not," you pleaded with him, fat tears rolling down your sweaty cheeks. It was a mistake to show him your crying face because it only egged him on more, a saccharine-sweet smile coming onto his lips.

"A good pussy takes any cock that it's given, kitten. Don't you wanna be my good girl?" he emphasized, forcing in another couple of inches. You nodded through your tears, shaking when Jongseong grabbed your hand and pressed it against your lower belly.

"Look kitten, you can feel where I'm going inside you. Do you think I'll be able to touch your cervix?" he almost taunted you, a muffled moan leaving you as he bottomed out.

"I-I don't know" you whelped out, feeling your inner thighs get sticky as cock his pushed out more droplets of syrupy essence.

Every breath you took caused your stomach to press against his member, Jongseong enveloping his large hands in yours on either side as he started moving. You couldn't even moan as you felt your head get lighter, only able to process how his member was stretching you so much.

Jongseong swore as you clamped down on him like a vice, pulling back some so he could see you leak around his cock. "Oh sweetheart, wouldn't you look stunning like this in Polaroids," he mused, his cock twitching inside of you at the thought of having black and white photos of your cum leaking out of your core and bite marks littering your soft skin.

He chuckled when your walls fluttered around him for a moment at the thought, burying your head in the pillow in shame.

"Oh? Seems princess would be into it?"

You hesitantly nodded.

Jongseong pulled your chin from your pillow and turned you around so you could see his darkening eyes, that same saccharine smile coming onto his lips.

"Next time yeah?"

"Next time....?" you repeated, gripping the headboard when Jongseong snapped his hips into you, trying to ease yourself away from the full feeling.

Jongseong only chuckled at your pathetic attempt to flee from his length, pushing your hips back against his as punishment for even attempting to get away.

He smiled, watching as your other hole twitched before letting a trickle of saliva from his mouth seep into the area. "Of course kitten next time. What, did you think you were gonna leave me?" He cooed, rubbing the area before sliding his middle finger in. Your legs spasmed underneath his at the intrusion, burying your mouth into the pillow as you groaned heavily.

"No, but don't you have other clients?" you inquired as he curled his finger and moved his member at the same time, your hands reaching back to meekly push his waist away.

He pouted and kissed your ear gently before using his weight to pin your body down, his hips starting to pick up faster.

"Not anymore."

**********************************

Jongseong walked outside the hotel room, giving the guy who waited outside the wad of cash as promised.

"Can't believe you looked everywhere just for one girl," He said in amusement, flicking his head to the room where you slept. "Think she'll find out you don't work here?"

Jongseong smiled and leaned against the wall. "Doubtful. And we're gonna keep it that way," he warned, putting on a soft smile as he walked back into the hotel room. He leaned over your restful form and kissed your cheek, his hands rubbing over the beautiful marks he'd left.

You rustled in your sleep but still lay there, Jongseong playing with the hem of the t-shirt he let you wear.

"You're all mine now kitten, all mine."

**********************************

feedback leads to me writing more for certain members so remember that and leave a comment, reblog, or anon!

there shan't be a part two <3 tho.

[saltnsugarbear]

I'm forever black-eyed, a product of a broken home

summary: boxer!lip gallagher headcanons and foundation building <3

title from: "Black-Eyed" by Placebo

word count: 1.4k

content warnings: I mean, like boxing is an aggressive sport so, she gets dirty at the end so MDNI!!!, choking kink mention, cumplay mentioned

side note: was originally soft and world building and doing research for boxing but,,,,, olive politely ruined all those thoughts

just some simple thoughts to begin! to test the waters!

-a middleweight boxer, just to begin. on a good week he could qualify for light heavyweight but he's properly enrolled in the middeweight division

-which just, is no commentary on JAW, however doing some looking into and looking for the general weight of a healthy 5'7" man puts him somewhere in the middleweight/barely light heavyweight division. but if we consider the Gallagher household income and diet they probably have, Lip is 100% in the middleweight division

-Lip is most well known for his jabs and uppercuts, his style is very agressive

-he's also known for taking a heavy beating in just about every fight he has.

-carl was big into Rambo, constantly playing First Blood when he could. so he naturally tried to see if any of Stallone's movies where similar. Lip was somehow enamored with Rocky when they borrowed it from the library.

-Carl didn't love Rocky like at all lmao, he wanted more fighting in there. Debbie loved Rocky and Adrian's relationship, she thinks they're adorable and romantic.

-This idea hinges on Lip being more aggressive in high school, getting into a lot more fights. This might be due to bullying or just being an overall aggressive kid with little dog syndrome

-At a certain point he's threatened with juvie and or foster care or he can put his anger into something more productive. Lip chose the latter.

-Kevin suggests boxing and even offers to help teach him if he wanted

-he does that thing that boys do where he thinks he can do it all by himself because he watched a movie about it a few times (he's seen every Rocky movie he can get his hands on)

-however jumping right into boxing is much harder than he thought it would be (surprise!) (dummy /affectionate)

-Lip is out of shape, has smokers lungs, and just,,,,, does not know how to throw a proper punch lmao

-so the first day at the gym he's dying

-soooo he goes to Kevin with his tail between his legs and begs him to teach him how to box

-now Kevin is FIT like

-like FIT.

-and Kevin is more than happy to help train Lip

-so through out high-school he spends his free time at the gym after he's done his homework and the work of kids who have paid him

-he gets fit, builds some muscle, adopts a slightly healthier diet

-once he's in college he gets a slightly less regimented schedule due to being out of the house

-he gets a little out of shape, doesn't do as many workouts and sparing matches as he should

-so when he drops out of college he goes back starts getting back into shape to actually start fighting!!

-sigh not to bring back Patsy's reader but like you probably work at Patsy's or maybe the Alibi Room??? some where he and his family frequent a lot!

-and he's just kind of like,,,, a little punk who wants your attention so bad lowkey cause like

-you mind your business! nice, respectful, keeps to themselves

-what he doesn't know is you're so drawn to him cause you've been watching the muscled guy dote on his baby brother and his sister and his other brother

-but also he's a punkass!!

-so you eventually entertain him and go on dates with him and he's

-yeah he's cocky about his stats but he's also just so sweet

-he starts doing fights for money a little before you guys start dating

-uses half his fighting earnings for his family, the other half he's got his own squirrel fund going

-when you guys are dating, he uses that other half to spoil you <3

-this next one is from Maggie's brain but I love it

-watching him during training, when he doesn't really need to wear his gloves, and seeing him send people flat to the ground is,,,,

-mind boggling, as his partner

-because you know that those hands are soft and loving

-just that morning, he was holding your face softly and memorizing each detail he could get his fingers on

-the night before, his hands were firm but soft on your thighs

-so seeing him knock grown men flat is mind boggling anddddd I mean you can guess right?

-turns you on a little bit that's what I'm getting at

-whenever olive comes in it becomes a whore house 🙄 (SO AFFECTIONATE I LOVE YOU OLIVE AND YOUR DIRTY MIND THANK YOU THANK YOU)

-olive thinks boxer lip has a choking kink and she would be correct

-which feeds into her bicep kink whatever whatever we love her

-fucking him in the locker room after good fight and he's not super busted up (you guys seen what Rocky looks like? busted eyelids and shit) (not lip, he's gonna have a bruise and a little cut be he's okay <3)

-he's very sweaty and very pent up and running off the adrenaline of the fight and winning

-also wearing his boxing shorts around!! just comfy clothes

-but we was talking about him fucking you in his robe which is very KVE of him *I've not seen Iron Claw I'm just saying what I've seen from the girlies

-I just think he kind of loves seeing Gallagher painted across your shoulders (or even your ass if he's got it on his shorts)

-but also he would have like a fun stage name guys what do we think his stage name would be

-like The Italian Stallion fucks like Rocky Balboa ate with that

-but he could also just be Lip

-Lip 🥰 in the blue corner <3

-whereas 🥵The Italian Stallion🥵 in the red corner?

-idk help guys

-anyways boxer lip has some CRAZY stamina

-like

-like CRAZY stamina

-you think you're ready to conk out after two rounds? yeah well Lips not so

-but he's soso sweet about it

-I'm back I've done some research and my idea works, walk with me

-this man is horny, we all know that like

-like he's HORNY

-anyways he goes like

-like crazy

-he's got one of your legs up over his shoulder, the other pressed up against his side where it's wrapped around his middle

-he has already made you come twice and your thirds on the way

-the squelching as he fucks you is pornographic, and he fucking loves it

-you simply cannot think, he's kept you teetering on the edge of overstimulation but all you can focus on is the feeling of him fucking into you, his shoulder flexing under your leg

-and he's being soso sweet cooing in your ear, telling you how good you feel, how he's going to fill you up so nice and you just need to go one more round with him after cause he wants to make sure you remember him before he fights later

-your third orgasm is what draws out Lip's first orgasm

-he's really gentle about how he rolls his hips into you, you can feel the mixture of both your release slipping out of you

-he's pressing soft, soft kisses to your face, telling you how good you are and how you feel just sooo good

-you can feel his cock twitch inside of you and the slow beginnings of him getting hard again

-and he's just being so

-"Come on baby, just need one more from ya" "Gonna let me fill you one more time?" "gotta make sure it sticks baby" "Wanna make sure you remember me when I'm up in the ring"

-and who are you to deny his soft pleas

-HELP WAIT GUYS GUYS

-so like after he reaches his second orgasm inside of you and he pulls out, he cannot stop looking at where the mix of you release slips out of you

-and he's hard again this punk

-but, you're just so sleepy and so floaty

-so Lip gets himself off above you, fucking himself into his hand using both of your guys cum as a lubricant

-anyways blah blah, he paints your tummy in his cum, it reaches just under your chest and this feeds into the marking thing he's got

-someone stop this man he's tooooo horny

-anyways he cleans you up (collects the cum he can and slips it into you, pushing it softly into you with his fingers, trying to keep the rest of your release from slipping out even more)

-but as you're drifting off, he makes sure to clean you up, dress you back in some cozy sleep clothes

-boxer lip the beloved

[evilminji]

Okay but >.> continuing my Marvel thoughts?

I got two of um?

First being? Don't Orange and Green go together? *looks it up* Aaaaaay~ "Direct harmony, also known as complementary colors, means pairing your key color with the color sitting on the opposite side of the color wheel." They DO!!! They're a classic example, in fact!

The Orange Soul Stone? Probably looks REAL good, real NATURAL even, against that Green sky! Bet it REALLY pops! Very stand out statement piece, you know? But? More importantly? That thing is sentient. All of those Pillars of Reality across the various Verses are.

And?

I bet it thought Pariah was a lil bitch.

Rank Vibes. Negative ris. Pick your words for it, the man was NASTY. He was too keep his filthy, filthy World's Conquering hands OFF of this Soul Stone. Something, I imagine? That ALL the Soul Stones agreed with.

Yes, I said all of um.

Because the various Realities each need their own. But! They can and DO work from the Zone, which is the PERFECT place to hide. And honestly? They like to get together and do this thing? Where they're all "oooh~ look at US! We are SUPER IMPRESSIVE Kingly Jewelry~☆! Definitely no important reality bending Rocks Of Great Power HERE! No SIR! We're just tooootally rad jeeeeewelryyyyy~~~☆! Oooooooh~☆"

They like to have fun. :3

Hope Danny likes Orange. Ha ha... trick question. He doesn't have a CHOICE! All SORTS of Death based Reality Pillars are rocking up, in their metaphorical Gucci sweat suits and shades with a margarita, going "oh thank ME, babe. The last guy was AWFUL! You're soooo much better? Now let me rub myself all over you. It's been ages and baby needs to recharge on Death Energy."

Danny hates it? So? So much?

He looks like a GAUDY PIRATE. *nnnnnnyooom!* *THWAP!* *Another reality shaking, highly sacred, Godly Staff of Death or whatever they decided to call it, flys in through a nearby window and nearly concusses him as it smacks itself against his upper back and sticks there*

He looks like a walking junk heap of sacred artifacts.

You ever been pelted by rocks? He has! Little orange rocks! Like fucked up hail! Welcome to kinghood, Danny, have a CONCUSSION! D:< he hates it!

But... but, I mean... At Least It's Not The SWORDS. (Panicked scream of "hit the deck!" from the other room.) (Holy sword number 15 wants to CUDDLE! Bare blade first! Dodge, your Majesty! DODGE!)

So yeah.

Danny? In A MOOD. Not feeling particularly FRIENDLY. It's not anyone's fault, really. But... well... you can't exactly negotiate with these fuckers, you know? Rocks are by NATURE, kinda stubborn.

So he's sitting there. Buried. With what he's pretty sure is a sacred text digging into his side. When a... glowing? Mist? Shows up? Huh. That's new. They don't seem to have a very clear image of "Self". Yet it's crystal clear? Just not... PHYSICAL? It's more... code? He thinks?

TECHNUS! Get over here! And behave!

There is much cooing and delight from Technus. The baby is a marvel. A wonder! Danny waits patiently for Technus to get to the point.

Ah.

He would like to "go back". His Obsession is demanding it.

IS it now? You're what? Maybe a day or so dead? You've been busy, if you've already gathered enough information to make your case like this. Alright, let's hear it, little guy.

It boils down to this. His obsession in death is the same as his primary directive was in life. Protect Mr Stark. Which is especially difficult to do from HERE. Even MORE so when there is a known threat, coming too...

WAIT, WHAT!?

The Souls Stones back him up. Oh yeah. Thanos' a lil bitchbaby loser. He's trying to make Death fall in love with him. Or "balance the universe". Depends on the reality. Totally throwing EVERYTHING out of whack.

And? Look. Danny's job? Isn't to interfere if countries kill each other. Or even planets. Nor entire galaxies, as much as he'd like too. But when you get too "I'm messing with Entire Realities or all of a Singular Reality at once in the specific depart of Death and its subsidiaries" territory? THAT is his job.

Might not be a "I personally have to show up" issue. But it still IS very much his job at that point. He has to delegate. Order the appropriate steps be taken. Cause yeah, there may be countless millions every day of such instances? But it IS his job to metaphorically order the roads repaired and the building inspected.

Sudden MASS "immigration"?

That causes Lair disputes. Confusion. Too many ghosts in too small an area. And WORSE, if people start playing with Death Pillars? The Zone might get dragged into whatever nonsense they're up too! It's like children playing with heavy machinery! Put that DOWN! Cease! Desist!!

And then? Clockwork shows up looking Mildly Miffed(TM). O:> dear lord. What madness has he stumbled upon? Oh. Oh of COURSE. First the "balancing" dude and now they're going to be playing with time travel. THATS IT. Someone unburying me!

I'm gonna go menace some humans that might actually believe I'm scary! Frighty! Pack up and shine your armor! Your coming too! We're escorting the baby home then have a Talk(tm) with the local Grape Ceral!

@hypewinter @lolottes @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe @hdgnj