#which really fucking sucks because i finally got projects i'm super stoked about but which i'm super scared to put out
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Women make up for the other 50% of Tumblr’s audience.
Text
Ah, yes, anxiety o'clock or as it's actually called "it's 1am, i can't sleep, and i forgot to get my headphones so now i'm to afraid to in case i wake everybody up"
#today i got therapy and i hav ereally mixed feelings about my therapist and also school's starting on monday which means death of motivation#which really fucking sucks because i finally got projects i'm super stoked about but which i'm super scared to put out#because i might get in another depressive or self-destructive mood and just...constantly want to die or delete/abandon my projects at the#slightest sign of disregard from the 'target audience'#because while i do stuff for my own enjoyment i also want to share the things i make w/ others to maybe make them at least slightly happier#jus...i wanna make things but my brain says 'no' is the bottom line#but i really fucking want to do the things and that's basically how i ended up writing two chapters of a fic i really want to publish but#i'm scared to because i really love it but if i get hit in my fragile fragile mental health i might just fall out with it#also to put it into perspective: during breaktime w/ moderate anxiety and ocassional slightly worse self-destructive impulsses i got a 1k+#words chapter done in 2 days leaving one day for break inbetween and even potentially drawing when i'm not writing#with school going on it can take me anywhere between 1-2 weeks to write 400-800 words and then freak the fuck out and rush the rest#'cuz of scheudle issues while loosing important partsof the plot'cuz i can't focus since i'm either perpetually scared wantin'to die or both#does this have a purpose? no#i'm just tired and when i'm tired i vent#it's just a tag vent so prolly not gonna bother deleting this later#sad vampire hours#boo rambles#shut up boo#tag vent
2 notes
·
View notes