#which pisses me off because then noor lied

[ravenbrenna09]

Wildfire

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22028656

Summary: In a parallel universe, Robbe goes to the bathroom at the Halloween Party and Sander stirs up his world a little more

...

I did it! I finally wrote a Sobbe/Rosander fic!

Originally, I had been writing a canon-divergence splurge for me that focused on Noor finding Robbe at the end of s03e06 Clip#4 and took him to the hospital as well as the friendship that could grow in its place. But, then, I remembered this idea that I had at some point (but with no time to write it) and I had to do it. So, here it is!

I hope you all enjoy.

Also, apologies if Robbe's inner thoughts seem a little messy.

...

The bathroom was empty. 

At the moment, Robbe was thankful for the somewhat peace and quiet the bathroom provided as he wet his hands, running his fingers through his tousled brown hair. The boy needed to catch his breath (and control himself, the back of his mind thought darkly) and he didn’t need to worry about anyone else being in the bathroom to see his shame. His mind brought him back to the dance floor, Noor’s lips pressed against his own, the pulsing beat of the music, and Sander’s bright blue eyes boring into his own, wishing it was the boy’s lips instead. 

Sander. 

Sander. 

It had been a week, almost, barely, and Sander had managed to twist Robbe’s life around, writhe around everything that he had ever known, tossing it over his shoulder. He had changed Robbe’s world, igniting something from the moment that Sander had spun him around on that shopping cart, and Robbe had spent the past almost-week trying his best to not to get caught with his gaze on the platinum blonde wrapped in the leather jacket. 

And, now, it was all gone. 

Robbe had spotted Sander on the dancefloor with Britt as he had been since they arrived at this party. The girl had her hands all over him, possessive and handsy. But, this time, her hands were on the back of his head in his hair and his hands were on her back, his lips lightly brushing over her neck as they swayed. Something hot and twisted formed in Robbe’s stomach as he took the entire scene all in. It was something that he was hiding from, but it was something that he had known existed since he landed in the boxes. But, it didn’t scare him any less (or stop the ‘you’re disgusting’ thought in the back of his head). 

Robbe had pulled Noor back against him, never closing his eyes before his lips were on hers. Now that Noor was flat against him, his lips moving in coordinated motion against hers, Robbe’s eyes wandered over to Sander, who had his lips attached against Britt’s. Robbe closed his eyes, trying to lose himself into Noor’s kiss like he’s supposed to, as a good boyfriend should, like she deserves, but he can’t because all he could think about was Sander, the chaotic whirlwind that had taken every ounce of control that Robbe thought that he had. 

Robbe opened his eyes, his eyes finding Sander, who was facing them, and then, with one bright white flash of light, he caught sight of Sander’s bright blue eyes pounding against his own. Robbe felt his breath get lighter, the first time that Robbe had ever felt breathless kissing Noor, and he clung to her, to the arm of the couch beneath them, to keep him (and them), upright. Sander’s eyes stayed on him and his lips stayed on Britt. Robbe didn’t know what he should be feeling right now. 

The kiss could’ve last forever and Robbe wouldn’t have minded. Right now, he didn’t need to think about what he needed to be, to Noor, to Jens, to the boys, to anyone. All he really had to think about was keeping up his kisses to Noor as his brain imagined that it wasn’t Noor’s lips but Sander’s (his mind shuddered because that wasn’t him, he wasn’t like Milan, and it should disgust him because that’s not him but he wants Sander’s lips on his own). 

Noor pulled back, a little breathless, and her eyes closed still closed, preventing her from seeing that Robbe’s eyes had been on Sander. Robbe dragged his eyes back to Noor, the role of the charming boyfriend slipping back on his shoulders, and tried to remain still beneath Noor’s wandering hands. Luckily, Jana had appeared with Jens by her side, attempting to drag the two of them further into the dance floor, but Robbe slipped away, unsure what his excuse was, but he slipped away with the promise of being back shortly. 

As he left and slipped into the bathroom, he forced himself not to look for Sander. 

Noor would strangle him if she found out the truth. 

Robbe let out a groan, wetting his hands again and lightly putting water on his face. Robbe glanced up in the mirror, making sure that he didn’t mess up his makeup too much. Jana had to hold his face to keep him from squirming and she would be angry if he messed it up now. The door to the party opened, bringing in the pounding of the bass and the loud movement of the partygoers, but Robbe paid the new person in the men’s bathroom no heed. 

“You okay?” 

Robbe glanced up, spotting his own startled expression in the mirror, before he turned towards the origin of the voice. Sander. The boy was dressed in a long-sleeve black shirt and a white overshirt with ripped sleeves and red “blood” splashed against the fabric. Even in the dim light of the bathroom and the flickering lights of the party, the boy was breathtakingly beautiful and angelic. Robbe felt the breath catch in his lungs as he averted his gaze. No wonder Britt was dating him.

(No wonder Robbe had fallen so quickly.)

“I’m fine,” Robbe replied, turning back to the mirror and realizing he never answered Sander’s initial question. “Where’s Britt?” There’s a pierce of jealousy that rushes through him as he gripped the sink to keep his balance. 

“On the dance floor with Noor,” Sander replied, standing close to Robbe. He was leaning against the bathroom sink, his hand a little too close to where Robbe’s had been, and the brunet feels his head begin to spin. “She got pissed at me again.”

(For staring at me while you kissed her?)

“Why?” Robbe questioned, fighting the urge to lick his lips. 

Sander shrugged. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “It just seems like lately that I keep annoying her.” Robbe let out a light breath, stepping away from the sink to stare at him. Sander’s eyes followed him and Robbe realized with the start that they were even more intense up close. “We’ve been together about six months now and I don’t know maybe that’s normal.”

“Yeah,” Robbe mumbled. 

“What would you do?”

“Huh?” 

“Leave or stay?” Sander questioned. 

Robbe found the courage to look at him fully again, looking for a joke and only finding the vulnerable features of Sander standing in front of him. “I don’t know,” Robbe admitted. He had never had a relationship last as long as six months. Generally, he would kiss and date girls, hold back their hands when they traveled too far south, and try to forget that it isn’t right. Once he couldn’t make any more excuses, he pulled away and broke up with them, feeling guilty inside that he couldn’t feel the way that he knew he should’ve. “Just take all the positives and negatives and…”

“Make a tally?” There was a light lift from Sander’s voice and a small smile forming on his face. “And, if it’s negative, dump them?” Robbe shrugged. There was a look on Sander’s face like he was considering it. Robbe watched the boy’s eyes dart across the other boy’s face, his eyes darting down to his lips, and the brunet felt his own eyes mimic the movement. 

It would be so easy for him to get this fascination out of his head once in for all, to just cross the distance, press their lips together like he wanted to do while they were kissing their girlfriends (or maybe cement it permanently). With that realization, Robbe found it incredibly hard to breathe again and he doesn’t even have the added layer of another person’s (the wrong person’s) lips on his to obstruct his airway. 

“I don’t know,” Sander spoke up, snapping Robbe back into the present. It was still just the two of them in the bathroom with the bass booming loudly and the cheers getting louder. “Maybe I’m just scared that I’m not going to find anyone.” 

“I don’t know,” Robbe trailed off, biting own on his lip.

“At least no one who will love me,” Sander added.

Robbe glanced at him, “I do think you’ll find someone like that.” (Me, his heart desperately wanted to tell him while his mind, which sounded an awful lot like Moyo, screamed profanities at him.)

“Where?” Sander questioned. 

(Right in front of you.)

“I don’t know,” Robbe replied, averting his gaze. “Maybe you can meet some new people or something.”

“Like going away for the week with some strangers?”

Robbe glanced up, his brown eyes connecting with Sander’s blue ones. There’s a slight smirk on his face that tried to cast the illusion that it wasn’t a serious conversation. But, Robbe felt like he learned as much about Sander now as he had the entirety of their shopping trip. Robbe swallowed, standing up a little straighter. “For example, yeah,” he admitted, refusing to look away from Sander. 

(I can be that for you, his heart screamed.)

The shell broke, slightly. 

Sander pushed himself off the bathroom sink, shifting slightly on his feet. Robbe’s breath caught in his throat as Sander’s eyes flickered down to his lips. Now that he was so close, impossibly close, Robbe’s eyes skated down his face from the single red streak on his eye down to his lips which were slightly swollen (from kissing Britt). Sander started to lean in towards him, uncertainty in his eyes. Robbe mirrored his action, being drawn towards him like a moth to a flame. 

Their noses touch before their lips and Sander turned his head so their lips slot together easily. 

Robbe breathed, in relief, in anticipation, to keep himself sane, and his mind screamed reminders at him (of Britt and Noor and everything else), but Robbe refused to listen to it right now. His heart was going to burst in his chest, jumping up and down in his ribcage screaming that’s it, that’s what feels right, and his mouth felt like it was going to burst into flames. He had never felt like this with Noor or any other girl that he had ever kissed before. 

Sander pulled away, releasing a breath that’s wavering and certain of something. 

Then, his hands are on Robbe’s face and their lips are together once again. The fire that had been contained to his mouth spreads through his body like a dumpster fire. His entire body, every bone, tendon, nerve, and atom in his system vibrates with the intensity being fed to him, the intensity of something being so right that it physically hurts. Robbe sunk into Sander, being thankful that the boy wrapped an arm around him to keep him upright, and gripped tightly on his arm, on his shoulder, on him. 

Sander’s hands move to rest on the waistband of his jeans (Robbe doesn’t even try to stop, his mind realizes with a start, even though Robbe doesn’t know what his intention might be), pushing him back, away from the sink, but Robbe trusts him blindly, his body used to push open a bathroom stall. One of Sander’s hands disappeared from his waist followed shortly by the sound of the bathroom stall slamming and locked before Robbe was pushed against it, stumbling against the metal. 

Their lips became disconnected and Robbe took the opportunity to look up at Sander. 

There was a certain look in Sander’s eyes that Robbe identified with, a little lost, a little broken, a little vulnerable. But, he’s beautiful, Robbe realized. He’s been beautiful from the moment that Robbe had spotted him through the window and even wrapped up in Britt’s arms when the spirit that he once held had melted away. He continue to be beautiful even if this moment in the bathroom of a party, somewhere that none of them really knew where they were would be the only thing that Robbe would get to hold onto him with. 

Robbe let out a shaky breath, reaching out to grab Sander’s face and bringing him back against him. 

Immediately, Sander pressed back against Robbe, chest against chest, and the two of them let out a mutual sigh as they clung to one another. One of Sander’s hands go to the nape of Robbe’s neck, fisting at the hairs that weren’t slicked up, and the other slid down to his side, holding him there. Robbe wound his arms around his neck, gripping at his shoulders and kissing him back as much as he could. Sander’s tongue slid across Robbe’s bottom lip and Robbe opened his mouth in response, gripping at the platinum-blonde strands of his hand.

(Sander lets out a groan that’s only slightly muffled by Robbe’s mouth and Robbe feels it in his entire body.)

The bathroom door slammed open, but Robbe was more and more insistent on keeping Sander’s lips on his own than he would care to admit. There was a smug look on Sander’s face as he pulled back, taking in the sight of Robbe before his hand was covering Robbe’s mouth and his lips were ducking down to kiss his outstretched neck. The brunet felt his eyes roll in the back of his head as he arched against Sander, biting down on his lip to suppress the groan as Sander’s lips and tongue hit the spot that always made his body react this way. 

Robbe gripped tighter on his hair. 

(Be careful, his mind screamed.)

Sander got the message, his mouth returning to Robbe’s and feeding him his tongue without even needing to ask this time. There’s a laugh on the other side of the bathroom door that sounds awfully familiar, but Robbe doesn’t want to place it right now. He can’t place it. It’ll ruin it all, force them apart, and back to a life where all Robbe could do is pretend that this isn’t what his body was craving. So, Robbe wrapped his free arm around Sander, clinging to every bit of fire that he’s willing to give him and pushes the thought of the laugh out of his mind for as long as he could.