#which is complicated. I'm ace and disabled but also if you're not ace and disabled and this is the route you go

[clonerightsagenda]

Well in complicated news for my aspec quota one of the Arcane creators did in fact say Viktor was meant to be ace but in an interview that clearly confused asexuality and aromanticism (many such cases) and was mostly brought up to beat the Gay Allegations.

He is purple, though. I'll give them that.

[radiocmyk]

I didn't want to run a tag essay on someone else's ask post just because it touched on my apparent Rant Button Topic and I kept going, but it's always so important to me to stress that deciding you can Tell who is part of the in-group and who isn't based on immediate first impressions is how you get outright accusatory gatekeeping, without even a middle step in between point A and point B. Not just with alter/nonhumanity‚ but with everything. When you do this, you implicitly think yourself immune because you know your own identity and it's obviously real‚ source: you—so you are the standard‚ it's obvious‚ and those who don't match up to it just wouldn't get it, just won't ever understand the complexity of your lived experience as part of an in-group they're not in-. If they insist, they might even be faking.

Can you tell I'm tired of other autistic people assuming I'm not autistic because we didn't relate to each other or me to their self-inspired understanding of how to define autism? How many other neurodivergent people have had a different experience of it throughout their life or to begin with, those whose autistic traits I couldn't relate to and therefore mine are just annoying or me being stupid, not autism? When someone decides they "know their fellows when they see them," they have already decided that their outspoken directness (for example) is the default autism, and someone else's inability to verbally explain complicated things disqualifies them.

You cannot smell the nonhuman on someone! If you think you can, you may be someone who has decided that your nature is the default and outside of that circle is everything orthohuman, facing someone quietly deciding the same thing about you, more than you'll ever know. In a community that's already by nature comprised of so many different species who are never going to instantly click and relate to each other because some of us are dogs and some of us are fish—what makes you confident you'll always know another alterhuman when you see one if you're a bluejay and you're interacting with fucking Count Orlock? See also: This guy claims to be autistic, but struggles to verbally explain complicated things and uses reticent or confusing language; clearly he's an obstinate neurotypical refusing to just speak in a clear manner about things, as everyone knows they're like. Don't consider he might be semiverbal or psychotic or traumatized or that that can even just be a trait of autism on its own.

Point of order 2: this mindset almost-always leads to a superiority complex. It's not about the misanthropic ideals, it's about feeling like you are the arbiter and when you sweep everyone else outside of your specials circle, they're whatever word your particular community uses for what Reddit has compassionately dubbed NPCs: every single other person on the planet who isn't you and your friends. Don't you just hate humans? Don't you hate looking at ugly humans being loud and obnoxious all over the place? I, too, love arbitrarily deciding which people are part of the out-group based on how aesthetically pleasing they are to my nonhuman eye. (How often, I wonder when I see these sentiments, are they being thought in the moment about a disabled or homeless person in public.)

This isn't just an alter/nonhuman thing, it has been a huge problem in the autistic community with people deciding "neurotypicals" are the root of all evil, transmascs especially deciding cis men can just never understand anything true and real, and since knowing I'm aro I have adamantly refused to engage with the "we're better because we're enlightened for being ace/aro" thing that is surprisingly common, but since that was the topic of the previous post, this goes out to the alterhuman community: I am once again asking you to stop making assumptions, let alone extrapolating from them the in-group's exceptionalism and the out-group's lack of an inner life.

Somewhere there is a bluejay being a stubborn human again for being oblivious to Count Orlock's intricate fictionkin experiences.

[trashcapableofsentience]

Hey, I feel like we're misunderstanding each other a lot.

I'm not trying to claim something is worse/better, nor am I trying to call all naysayers ableist. I'm also visually disabled! I have been my entire life! My prescription is very bad, a +7 (I'm not sure what that is in American optometry)!

But being disabled isn't a one-and-done kinda thing. Different disabilities face different stereotypes. People overestimate the intelligence of glasses wearers. They underestimate the independence of autistic people (also something I've been diagnosed with). Despite being both of these since birth, I didn't feel the need to seek out the disabled community until I acquired chronic pain and there's a reason for this: the 'rarer' and more uncommon your disability gets, the more you're stereotyped. This is natural! Stereotypes are made specifically because people find something that's different to them and try to rationalise it. But stereotypes can often mutate into ableism.

I'm not saying your claim to disability isn't valid - and never have I EVER said YOU PERSONALLY are homophobic/ableist for not shipping something - but it is true that there are stereotypes around some disabled people and some disabled characters that seem to get created no matter what the person/character actually acts like.

For chronic pain and other debilitating disabilities that cause us to need people's help, we're woobified, AKA made into smol beans. Crutchie is not a smol bean, at least not in the production I saw (uksies since that's what I live near). Yet still people treat him like a baby, to the point I see all these headcanons about how everyone takes care of him.

I'm not saying these are bad people. I'm not saying you're a bad person for not shipping something. But there's so much vitriol around the shippers that have to come from somewhere, and to me it looks very similar to when people ship children with adults, which is not what's happening here. It's a 15-year-old, a 15-year-old who's seen a lot of shit, with a 17-year-old. They have a very deep relationship with each other and have for a while. They promise to run away together. The one 'questionable' thing about this ship is the 'brother' line which, again, is a word Crutchie uses to describe that he feels something 'more than mere friends' with Jack and that's the best way he can express it because feelings are complicated and it's 1899.

So why do so many people latch onto this one thing and have dedicated 'jackcrutchie gross' tags? Again, they're not bad people. But it is a trend. It's a trend of woobifying disabled characters we have to acknowledge. People can't seem to bear the thought of their ickle widdle Crutchie having a romantic relationship with anyone which, from my experience, seems to be pretty ableist when he's the one character people do this with.

(Again, not saying having aro/ace headcanons are wrong, nor that those headcanons are wrong for Crutchie, but aro/ace gets headcanoned for disabled characters disproportionately because people don't see us as having the decision making capacity to have romantic/sexual relationships. Like the whole 'angry feminine character must be lesbian'. Just - please examine your reasons for it and don't harass other people for not having those headcanons.)

I called it like I saw it and maybe I made it seem like the people doing this are bad people, which I am sincerely sorry for. I didn't mean to do that but things can get lost in translation over mere words.

But you have to look inside yourself! Being disabled doesn't make you immune to ableism, nor does being queer make you immune to queerphobia. Critically examining your biases and where they come from and - most importantly - not harassing other people over little, minor decisions over who ships what (which I've seen happen to jackcrutchie fans a little too much for comfort) - that's how I was hoping for this to go.

Yes, I was a little mean about it, I'm sorry, that's not how you get people to change their minds. It's very tiring to be nice, which isn't an excuse, but that's how it happened.

This will be the last reblog I make. Very tired of making the same points over and over again.

call me controversial but mayhaps the reason for everyone going no homo to the max on jackcrutchie despite them promising to run away together, also known as the gayest thing one can do, is a little touch of ableism

[abeehiltz1159]

just some things about today's society that I hate and highly discourage

Racism. Races are determined from where you come from, and that can determine the color of your skin, which really is melanin, your body's built in sunblock. People from Africa are more likely to have darker skin than people from, say, the UK, simply because they are exposed to more direct sunlight. Racism makes no sense to me if at the bare minimum of it is just people hating other people because the amount of melanin in their skin varies.

Sexism. It should be okay for guys to be emotional and for girls to be strong. It shouldn't be a huge deal if a dude cries. It shouldn't be a huge deal if a girl is angry. It shouldn't be one sex over another. Your body, your choice.

Homophobia/transphobia. I've heard that, if you're gay/bi/pan/ace, there's something wrong with how extrogen/testosterone is made and distributed throughout your body, and that being trans/non-binary/pangender/bigender can be schizophrenic tendencies. Even if that's true, that means that homophobic/transphobic people would be hating on a very specific community simply because they could have DISORDERS. (I'm not homophobic/transphobic and I really hope you guys didn't take this that way--I'm an Ally.)

Ageism. I can understand some degrees of it, like not giving kids alcohol, but then again why give it to adults? Just because a person is younger than you doesn't mean they should be deprived of certain things that older people get to do. I say don't let people under 21 have alcohol, smoke, take drugs (unless they've been prescribed), have sex, look at porn, etc. I'd go as far as to say don't to any of these things in general unless you're having sex because you want kids.

Anti-adoption. Seriously. Those kids in orphanages need time outside, in the real world, and just by not taking some time to go talk to them is depriving them of it. And if you do adopt, don't care how old they are. Just pick the kid that fits your family most, but also make sure that they are comfortable around you. It may take time for them to completely warm up to you/your family, but it'll be better for them to have parental figures in their lives.

This one's a bit more complicated to talk about: abortion/birth control. In some ways, I don't support it, but in others, I don't mind. If you have a physical/financial issues that could prevent you from getting through a pregnancy safely, then yeah, you can get an abortion. The excuse "they're people too" doesn't quite make sense, since fetuses don't really have a state of mind and really can't form their own opinions yet. They aren't them yet. But, if you can have the kid, please do so. The death:birth ratio of today's world is very wack, and more people are dying than there are people being born.

Discrimination against DISABILITIES. If a person has a mental/physical issue, don't label them as unable to take care of themselves. Don't label them as strange or stupid. It's not their fault. If a person is missing a limb, it is fully possible for them to have been born without it or having lost it to sickness or accident. Personally, I don't like hospitals, but that's mainly because I'm trypanophobic (a fear of medical needles and blood). I'm not scared of the patients. Rather, I feel sad that they're in the hospital in the first place.

Some of you might hate me for this: vulgar language/activity. There are always better words to say and things to do. Our local high school baseball team? According to my older brother who was in the team for roughly a third of the season, the main thing the other boys would talk about was how much luck they'd had at getting laid. That's not exactly an accomplishment. My other older brother, who is in high school, got 100% innocent on an online test he took. One of his friends got 13%. THIRTEEN. My brother is a sophomore (or an 11th year for everyone who isn't American).

WE. ARE. TEENAGERS. THIS SHOULD NOT BE AFFECTING US AS MUCH AS IT DOES.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I have a general love for humanity as a whole, cause we're all people, no matter what. I'm just trying to get a message across that everyone deserves a chance to be themselves, and parts of the world are stopping us. This world should not be as dirty and painful as it is. We treasure little pockets of pure beauty and bliss because there's so little of it now. Personally, I want to go outside and frolic in a forest and smell flowers and make flower crowns with friends and family and just have a day of nature-filled happiness. (If there are any old forests you would recommend, please tell me. I'm DYING.)

I love you guys. Happy Pride month! 💖

[jrhartauthor]

I'm going to share about my most recent release, The Heartbreak Handshake, because I'm not done yelling about it!

First off, it's in a very cool, very queer shared world called Clover Hill, and there are four great books set there, with more coming next year, including another one from me, so you can see more awesome people and places that show up again and again in the books (but it's okay if not all of the books or pairings are your style, because they can be read as standalones, so you can pick and choose - say you only like high heat, or f/f, or ace books, or books with disabled characters... you can decide to just read those!) And you get get all of the awesome details about Clover Hill right here at cloverhillromance.com

BUT, I said I was going to talk about The Heartbreak Handshake, and I am.

There are proper blurbs out there. You can find them on Amazon and Goodreads. I'm not here to give you a proper blurb. I am here to yell.

Remi is an artist. They're nonbinary. They just got back to Clover Hill because their van broke down after they've been living the whole #vanlife thing, and yeah, they've got complicated feelings about whether or not van life is actually okay or if it's gentrifying homelessness, but their whole point was to travel and make art and do things, but money is hard and art is hard and they are BACK in Clover Hill in their teenage bedroom. Pretty unwillingly. Nothing against Clover Hill, it's just... how does an artist grow when they're stuck at home forever, you know?

Paxton is a rideshare driver and a handyman. He's also in a book club with Remi's mom. He's also autistic and his special interest is plane crashes and he could talk about them for hours on end, which is fun for him and... not really fun for anyone he dates. At all.

Remi's mom has been trying for ages to set both of them up with people. She's always had a thing for matchmaking, and she can't help but think they'd be happier if they'd just settle down with somebody already. Except Remi's sex-repulsed asexuality means they're always wondering when that awkward "hey, I really don't want to jump into bed with you... or even kiss you" conversation is going to come up. And Paxton is constantly being told "you're handsome, but kind of boring."

They're both sick of dating.

So they make a deal.

Maybe if they go on three dates, and then "break up" from their fake relationship, Remi's mom will give up on trying to set them up for a while as they act all heartbroken. It's the perfect plan. Up until... oops. Are those real feelings?

You can get The Heartbreak Handshake in paperback or eBook, or if you have Kindle Unlimited you can just read it. (This is an Amazon affiliate link).

Also you can add it to your Goodreads if you want to read it later.

If you've already read it, a review would be super appreciated! Tagging @amarajlynn @hallistarling @lucymason217 and whoever else wants to play along and talk about their books! :)

If you see this, tell me about your book

Whether it's a published book, a wip, or just something you're imagining for now, I want to hear about it! Share some art, too, if you have some!

Tagging a few people who I don't think would mind, but lemme know if you don't want to be tagged in the future! Fyi, to anyone seeing this, you can always tag me <3

@valeriestorm @rosantha-tindall @kittensartswriting