#which idk is why i'm kinda glad the romance ended up being so secondary to my personal enjoyment of the series

[formashimataichi]

i thought I didn't care about the endgame but godddd I'm so happy my 17 year old me it's crying tears of happiness but I need time to process how I feel about this I love taichi and chihaya the most and I feel like I have been reading something wrong jsjsjs I had this idea that taichihaya endgame was going to damp taichi's development so I need time to process but I'm happy I wish you would post your thoughts soon I always liked reading your blog

I was honestly of the same belief! I think the way Chihaya's reciprocation of anyone's feelings has been talked about in fandom at large (i.e., the idea that either Arata or Taichi "deserves" that reciprocation simply by virtue of loving her) really led me to become averse to any sort of ending where she did reciprocate because there was a fear that it actually would end up validating that philosophy. And I'll be honest, I think that was a very prevalent mindset in the Taichi camp especially! Maybe not from you specifically, but it was one I saw a lot and it's what caused me to divest from Taichi fans in general despite him consistently being my favorite character and his relationship with Chihaya consistently being my favorite as well. I was really exhausted of seeing it parroted that Taichi's personal growth and journey in passion or love or self-fulfillment would be worthless if he wasn't reciprocated by Chihaya. There was so much about his character arc that was genuinely borne of his own self-sufficiency and persistent desire to grow into a better, sturdier person. It felt belittling to me to reduce it to hinging on a reciprocation of first love.

But, lo and behold! One should always trust Suetsugu to stick to her guns and stand by her espoused philosophy to the end. It makes complete sense to me that Taichi was allowed that ownership of his own growth in karuta and friendship, and that the reciprocation of his feelings came as an external aftermath to that resolution, not as a reward for it. A mutual of mine on Twitter mentioned this, but I think it was very purposeful and poignant that the reciprocation and the buildup to it in the chapter was framed entirely from Chihaya's perspective. It was truly her pursuing what she wanted on her own terms and timeline rather than her being beholden to the demands of anyone else in the story (or the fandom, lmao). I still don't know that it's a conclusion that revives the old fondness I used to have for them as a romance, I really do feel like I've moved on from romance being at the apex of my investment in this narrative as a whole, but I deeply respect that Suetsugu executed her story the way she wanted to to the very end, and that the emphasis was on this being a beautiful moment in time for both Chihaya and Taichi to appreciate and enjoy to the fullest. We don't know what will happen with them down the line, whether they'll last or whether they won't, but it's unimportant in the face of their present content, and that's a very admirable picture to paint as a writer who's spent so much time emphasizing on the present beauty of youth.