#which doesn't line up with my experience with him but maybe I'm also too childish?

[tutyayilmazz]

.

.

[khaosophist]

Hmmm.

I shared my love of Midna, and, it seems, taught someone about 'Shortstacks'.

Of course there's a huge difference between the Midna in the game, and the Midna I imagine. In the game, she's cute, a sweet, and strong willed cursed princess using everything she can to save her kingdom. There's nothing sexual about it unless one has a thing for getting ordered around by a brat. I'd always considered the curves I'd give to Midna as a way to make her more attractive. However, even after the changes my brother in law felt like she was just a child with thick thighs, and large breasts. I've never seen a child with such proportions. So like, does he see shortness as Childness? My wife is relatively short. Does that mean he somehow sees her less for it? When I pressed he told me that the fact the fused shadows didn't fit perfectly, and seemed too large for her in the image I showed him, that it gave her a playfulness like a child. He also stated that it was okay for my wife to have her curves as she matured, because there's no other version of her. I guess he doesn't see curviness as matureness? Yet he knows of Midna's true form, so he knows she's not a child. I'm giving this thought, cause there's nothing else to think about.

In that moment it felt good to see a different perspective. I explained the meaning of 'stacked' and 'shortstack'. The fact that some are goblins was alien to him. I found it hilarious since, if you don't look into shortstacks, you'd assume a really ugly goblin instead of the representations that are indicative of shortstacks, like he did.

What bothered me was that he equated playfulness with Childness. I disagree? I guess. Like, I'm a playful person, I LARP for instance, but I don't feel like a child. Play. When does 'play' become 'hobby'? I'm trying to see the scale between a child's play, and a person's hobby. Is there a difference between playing video games, and having video games as a hobby? Foreplay? Roleplay? Like does he believe there's a moment where a child no longer plays, and becomes 'mature'? Else, does he see it as a childish trait? What does it mean to be childish? Isn't being with someone that can play with you important? Playing around?

Playing allows me to push back on the things I remember from childhood. Which, sadly, are usually negative. Playing makes me feel like I can be loved at any state of my life. That I could have been childhood sweethearts with my wife. It makes me feel like there's a coherent line between who I was with who I am to help understand why I want to be myself. I think I've been projecting my experiences with anime and such on him, and that he's much more vanilla than I thought. I'm glad I don't see my wife as a child just because she's bubbly or playful. Then again, my brother in law is condescending. It makes sense to think this if jadedness is seen as being 'realistic' as if, that because one is playful, then surely they don't see 'the truth'. Else one would be jaded.

Surely, one cannot overcome the 'harsh realities'. We must be delusional...but, I'm putting words in his mouth, forgive my rhetoric. I think I trusted him too much. I almost told him I was a furry, just so anyone else knew this. I wanted to tell him because he felt like a friend. But his reaction to what I shared showed a drastic difference of perspective, and maybe he didn't think it was the sharing of equal perspectives, but rather the admissions of a delusional man. In the end, it doesn't matter. I'd rather be myself. I just wish it wasn't so awkward.

My wife is my best friend. I just wish I'd feel it sooner. I'm so isolated in my own way. I shouldn't expect others to treat me the same way she does, and that's okay. I'll have to start telling others who I am. Whenever that will be is up to me. I know it's coming...I'd rather my true self be clear. Consequences are part of life, and if those I trust can't accept me, then that's fine. Less effort, and more focus for those who do.

[retphienix]

I Have A Lot To Say So I'll Read More This.

The short of it?

I'm glad I played Joker- I played it because I wanted to know how DQM evolved when it reached the DS and I got my answer.

It's mediocre. Not bad exactly, I enjoyed playing it, it adds some REALLY appreciated features to the DQM series and if you were playing it at release it had online play which plays well with the post game content which I haven't touched by the time I wrote this:

-but there are some engine/console specific things that made it a drag and there are some parts of the game that are just weaker than the previous games which is amusing since the previous games were simple GBC titles.

And finally, I don't really recommend playing through Joker 1. Can't speak on the sequels, but Joker 1 was a pretty middling experience for me so I'm the wrong person to get a positive recommendation from.

And since the opportunity presents itself: If you like monster RPGs and haven't tried it- go emulate Dragon Warrior Monsters 2 for the GBC, it's really good and also if you emulate you can fast forward the GBC era grind if that's your taste- really a win all around.

On to my rambling:

I debated on writing, rewriting, rewriting, and better presenting my thoughts on this game and the series as a whole but nah, Joker ain't getting that, I'm ramblin'- lol

I will split it slightly between "The ending" and "The game as a whole" though.

Ending:

1:07 - This is slightly a 'game a a whole' thing but honestly it's funny to me that you unlock a permanent repel in this game by doing the main quest. I entered this dungeon feeling strong enough to beat the game, so I just avoided 90% of encounters entirely.

5:00 - I genuinely got a laugh out of Sparkpug's whole deal in this finale. Not story wise, that's fine, no complaints- I mean that Sparkpug is clearly built to be a monster that can carry an ineffective team. He's clearly meant to be bred a few times and a god tier member of a potentially inexperienced player's team- but I literally never used him after the intro.

So during this scene it's supposed to be like "I'm a demi-god monster, you can't possibly beat me" and I'm thinking "Dude, you're like level 10 and shit tier, you can't win, this is hilarious."

Obviously it's a real boss fight and not 'face the monster you once had' but I was having fun roasting him behind the scenes of this recording.

45:00 - What an entirely unexpected change of pace.

Like, I had it spoiled for me by a screenshot that Dr. Snap becomes a monster or something- but I thought maybe he was always a monster or something, and also I got a bad look at him.

HE TURNS INTO A BODY HORROR BEAST, THAT'S NUTS.

Genuinely a highlight of the game.

52:00 - I fucking laughed what a meaningless exchange where the payoff is saying "He was stupid!", it's honestly just silly and dumb but not necessarily bad just dumb lol

55:00 - Not a great 'you won' victory lap. Like at all. Kinda feels like they should have just made this all a cutscene where I appear back at town and see that Solitaire is the leader now etc etc.

I kinda don't understand why it's a victory lap at all? Because all anyone says is "They picked a weird successor to Snap >:(" or "Snap went to the island? I bet he was stopping the calamity :)"

If you have 2 lines of dialogue prepared, maybe don't make a victory lap???

1:00:00 - What a fucking stupid payoff lol

Like sincerely, Solitaire does NOTHING the entire game! She's meaningless from start to finish! And the 'surprise' is that she's the new commish??? And she got the position because she's a rich spoiled brat??? Like LITERALLY that's why????????

What a stupid fucking ending lol

Now her proposed evolution of the contest is fair enough, I mean it's childish as hell, but to be fair- more contests is a fine idea especially since prior games and this game demonstrated the public's interest in watching monster fights. And the goal being to fight her as the final fight is fucking egotistical and stupid- BUT- it does play into the fact that the player didn't get to fight her the whole game so it's whatever?

1:03:00 - This is both the best and worst lol.

This game has no story, like at all, it's fucking empty front to back, and only explodes with like- 1 event at the very end.

This moment is a montage of memorable moments with your 'best friend' Sparkpug. It's cinematically very nice to be honest! Even includes a moment I don't remember at the arena which probably didn't happen lol.

So visually it's cool- I dig seeing the camera zoom out as we run across the beach, and the flashback moments intersplice over us making our way to the scout memorial- that's very well done.

The content is empty lol

As I said there's no story, these moments are nothing lol

And that's that.

All said the ending was a very nice challenge to face with my team- I had to abuse items like mad but I MADE IT! It was a GOOD fight.

The rest I've already said.

On to the game as a whole:

I have issues with this game, but there's good too. It's really like 4 steps forward 6-7 steps back it's weird, it's really weird.

Positives are neat!

> First and foremost- TRAITS!

Monsters in Dragon Quest Monsters have always had a problem with keeping their identity for long. The way I'd explain it to an outsider to the series is that Monsters DO have special stat variance and intended movesets and all that jazz- but the breeding system completely and entirely destroys that relatively early into the game.

While a monster might normally have really high defense and low other stats while knowing buffing magic- breeding, EVEN UNINTENTIONALLY, will have that same monster come out with 9 billion attack and all ice magic.

Monsters in DQM have a habit of becoming canvases for the breeding effects rather than their own mons- and this is undeniably a downside. It makes the game feel unique, it doesn't 'hurt' it, but when by mid-game monsters are more easily identified as sprites rather than strengths and weaknesses or even types (family) it's a slight downer on the series.

Traits fix this a lot by making every specific monster have unchangeable traits which offer things like "immunity to x type of damage" or "higher crit chance"- it's small, but it gives each monster more identity.

> Second and secondmost- SKILLS!

The older games didn't use trees, it used each individual spell as a potential pass on during breeding.

Each monster could have 8 spells, and when you breed two monsters you pass on all 16 spells to the offspring (they don't learn them all at once, they learn them as they level up) as well as the natural spells the monster would learn by level up.

So in the older games it is really easy to end up with a refined and overpowered list of 8 spells on each of your monsters.

Now spells are tied to Skill trees and your monsters can have 3 skill trees total (which are passed on as OPTIONS when breeding).

All to say skills do a lot for removing the "Master of all, weakness of none" spell lists that the older games made trivial to make, now you have to limit your builds and be more specialized- also they added skills like "Attack up" to add more variance to a build- instead of having spells you might just have high stat buffs as skill trees.

Overall I think Skills are an improvement because coupled with Traits it makes each monster feel much more specialized and unique and less like a sprite with no identity.

> Breeding is improved.

This is very much because of skills and traits- again- but also the system is just improved in general. Instead of being told "That's a monster you haven't had before!" and judging your decisions based on the name of the offspring breed, now you get to see a small sprite of the resulting monster to help you decide- ALSO instead of getting 1 result for every combo (to the point where you have to back out and choose Monster A + Monster B and Monster B + Monster A as separate options), you now get up to 3 results to pick between for every breeding opportunity.

It's just better.

> The engine is impressive.

At least to me. This is a DS title using (from what I read) a rework of the DQ8 PS2 game's engine- it certainly looks like it.

Combat models are nice, using moves looks nice, overworld exploration looks nice- it looks nice.

Now for some negative and general nonsense- all of which is more often than not 'weird'.

> I gotta be unfair and say "The Story" first and foremost.

DQM 1 and 2 are not intense story games. They aren't.

But they both knew how to handle their story well for what they wanted to tell, I can and will praise both for their narratives because they know what they are and do it well.

DQM:J does not. It's fucking bad.

Basically: The overall story doesn't exist- you're told to be a spy, but that comes up 1 time towards the end of the game and LITERALLY doesn't matter at any other moment INCLUDING the one time it comes up.

You have NO meaningful objective from the start up until near the end of the game. You show up and have no goal- so you get told to get some crystals with no meaning behind it (not even a lie because they are clearly evil- not even a lie to motivate you! NO MEANING IS PRESENTED! JUST DO IT! TO DO THE CONTEST I GUESS! WHY? SHUT UP!)

So 90% of the game time you're not doing anything meaningful. So what about the islands? Any small narratives to keep things moving?

NO!

NOT AT ALL!

So you go 90% of the game having no real objective, just kinda wandering forward mindlessly- and then the game suddenly goes "Oh! Guy who seemed sus! He's evil! He's gonna unleash the calamity that you were 'kinda but not directly' working towards with your dog! You know, that plot point that's kept vague and paid 0% attention to the entire game? Yeah it's happening! Aaaaand you're done! GG!"

Basically there's just nothing going on in this game, it's all background noise until the last 10% of the game. And that's lame.

DQM1 had a light story- but from the very intro cutscene you have a clear objective which makes every action you do seem relevant as you are working towards that goal.

From the start of the game you know "My sister is gone! The king says a magic wish can get her back! I'll go do that!" and then you do!

DQM2 has a much better story!

You have a goal from the start (The kingdom is physically dying and you have to save it by getting a new plug!) AND it has stories for each world you visit!

THAT'S MILES BETTER! THIS GAME COULD HAVE DONE THAT FOR THE ISLANDS!

Anywho. Story is lacking and empty and lame especially when DQM2 has a similar format but does every part better- you have a clear objective you're working towards AND side stories to keep the light narrative moving!

WTH!

The spy plotline doesn't matter! It could have been used to build suspicion on who's the good guy!

The islands are so empty of story!

DQM2 has a fun mix on how a rival character works which makes every world interesting to see how they get involved!

This game has a rival that does NOTHING!!!!!!!!!

It's just such a step back from the previous games, it's weird to see DQM 1 land a solid simple story and DQM 2 build a great format to expand the story going forward- and then DQM:J just slams its head into the dirt and wipes out.

> Game's slow.

The engine switch is a good thing overall, but it makes combat slower (a lot), adds loading screens to combat (primarily), and they didn't bother speeding up the grind from previous games.

Because of the grind still existing which isn't a problem in and of itself- the game becomes SLOW AS HELL because the engine makes that grind take longer.

Also world exploration is slow which is to be expected when moving from 2d to 3d, but this is countered by adding things to the world to find or do- and Joker tries but it's still noticeable. The world exploration isn't a problem, it just stands out alongside the combat being slow as hell.

The engine change was a great thing- but it feels like they should have put more work into speeding up combat to counter the slowdown of load times and flashy animations.

A GOOD WAY TO FIX THAT MIGHT BE XP!

> Music ain't great in my opinion.

DQ has amazing music. This game has some weak renditions in my opinion. The CELL HQ theme song is a pretty good poster child for the worst there is, but just in general even the better music is lacking compared to the chiptunes of the GBC or the better mixes of the main series.

Maybe it's unfair, it's a DS game, I don't know, I just know I ended up just muting most of the game because it didn't sound great. I played the GBC games OSTs instead for a large portion of my playthrough. I listened to videos instead for the bulk of the game.

It's just not pleasant to me, sorry to say.

> XP!!!!!!!

I'm being a spoiled ass on this but yeah!

XP SUCKS IN THIS!

There aren't good placed to grind until you beat the game! (apparently)

The first level blatantly has too low xp which makes you grind before you can tackle the boss of the island- and the late game has you mindlessly grinding low xp rewards in order to be ready to face the final boss.

It's WEIRD!

Why is it so low!

> Tech is weird!

I could ramble on this alone but here's the short version:

DQ has a unique fantasy world aesthetic that each game has explored in its own way. It's basically "swords, magic, monsters, and charm- things feel light but aren't afraid to get scary sometimes :)"

This game... doesn't.

This game has fuckin' tech watches, jet skis, TOWER PCS????

This ISN'T dragon quest on a world building level.

It's like, contemporary modern world but with slimes.

And that could be good I guess, but it feels so fucking weird to see PCs right alongside swords and axes and a dracky.

Like... why?

It's a poor aesthetic according to my tastes. Maybe I'm an ass for that. The tech is weird.

All to say, in a poor rambling "I gotta get this out of me" kinda way, is Joker was fine.

I enjoyed breeding. I enjoyed seeing the engine. I enjoyed the unique additions like a 'hero monster'.

But I also had to grind mindlessly on a slower game.

I had to endure a story that forgot to show up until the very end.

I sat there thinking about replaying the older ones the whole time.

It was fine.

It's mediocre.

I'm glad I played it.

I'm done now :)

[boredom-reigns]

Ken Amada : Character Introspection

Persona 3 and some P4:AU Spoilers!

Ken Amada is honestly one of my favourite Persona 3 characters. I know the way his character arc was handled was somewhat flawed (like when he basically doesn't matter after the closure of Oct. 4), but I still love him a lot nevertheless.

My main problem is honestly the fact that a lot of people in the fandom hate him so much it can get grating, especially if it's for nonsensical reasons (like him apparently being the cause of Shinjiro's death even though the person who shot the guy was right there).

I mean, not liking characters is fine. I respect other people's opinions. But spreading misinformation based on a misinterpretation of a scene is... yeah.

Note: These are my opinions and interpretations of his character based on P3 and P4:AU. Other opinions and interpretations are welcome!

First off, like most Persona characters, Ken's character is based off an archetype. Ken's archetype, you could say that it's based on the Adorably Precocious Child trope. He's acts too mature for his age, even trying to hide his childishness by denying the fact he watches Featherman and saying that he drinks black coffee.

But this maturity came at a cost. From the little glimpses of childishness that Ken has shown (for example, the movie showing event where he's basically jumping up and down in happiness because the superhero movie was so cool!) along with his reinforcement of the idea that no, he's capable even at 11 years old (one of his battle voice lines is "Don't underestimate me because of my age") makes me believe that he wasn't always like this. He was forced to mature due to circumstances or he forced himself to mature due to circumstances.

What was this circumstance?

Obviously, the death of his mom.

Ken's mom is a huuuggeee part of his life and basically affected him a lot. Her death made him what he was today. First is that he saw her get murdered right in front him. Of course he's going to be traumatised. Not only that, he had something to direct his anger and hatred to (I'll talk about that later).

But when he told people about what he saw, nobody believed him, obviously. But remember this, Ken was a kid. He was 9 at the time. And he was 100% sure that what he saw was real. When he was being basically labeled as a liar because everyone won't believe him and just treated him as some fragile, traumatised kid, he's going to lash out. He knew it was real yet everyone just thinks that he was lying. He didn't think that obviously no one would believe him because he was deep in grief and hatred. He wanted justice. But no one would help him because everyone's saying that it was an accident. And he hated that.

He had a target to hate, yet he was powerless to inflict punishment (his idea of "justice") on that target.

So he wanted to be capable. If no one's going to help him, then so be it. He'll do his own justice. So Ken forced himself to grow up. He forced himself to be more mature, copying the image of capability he believes in.

Another thing that possibly added to Ken forcing himself to mature is the way people treated him afterwards. To outsiders, he was a traumatised kid. Ken says in his conversation with Shinjiro that he just receives pity no matter where he goes and he hates that pity.

I've seen LPs where they're like "huh, but isn't that good?" to that line. Speaking as someone who has lost a loved one and dealed with other people who lost a loved one, expressing pity is a balancing act.

It's hard to express pity because people deal with grief differently and some people despise pity when they're grieving. Some people are of the mentality of "what use is your pity because it's not going to bring them back!". Being treated differently because you lost someone or being treated as some fragile person made of glass who's going to have a breakdown at any time is horrible. Moving on can be so hard when everyone is tiptoeing around you. And I think that's what Ken felt.

What Ken needed during his grieving was someone who would support him. Someone who believed in him. He didn't need someone who just stood along the sidelines and pitied him. He needed someone who actually approached him and bothered to listen. I feel like that was what Ken was looking for: someone to listen to him. Because everyone around him never listens and just calls him off as a liar. He had no support system whatsoever. He was staying alone in the elementary school dorm and from the convenience store bentos in his room that can be seen in P3D, you can infer that he was forced to take care of himself for 2 years. For 2 years, all he got was financial support and never the needed emotional support.

Because of this, he was left to internalise his grief which then evolved into hatred. He didn't have anybody anymore. There was no point in living for him because his mom, his light, was gone. No one else was there to give him a reason to live. No family, no friends, no one who believes in him. Ken felt that it was only him against the world.

So why should he keep on living?

And this is where the idea that he has a target enters in. This target of his hatred became his one and only purpose. Why? Because it was the only thing that was there for him. He had no one and nothing. The only thing he had in life was this target of his extreme hatred. The target for his justice. Giving the rightful punishment to this target became his only purpose in life to the point that after killing Shinjiro, he was going to kill himself. Ken's only reason to live was to kill Shinjiro for revenge.

As for his entire "Mom would've wanted this.", I feel like that's more of him trying to justify his actions. He had a target of his giref: Shinjiro. He wanted to kill Shinjiro because Shinjiro killed his mom. But murder is a very daunting task. Even Ken hesitated. I feel like he just justified himself with "Mom would've wanted this." so he can do it. Because killing Shinjiro is the only thing left in life for him. It's the only thing he can do now. He had no reason for living other than Shinjiro's death. So he tried to justify it so he would be able to get through doing it and to give him more reasons as to why he should really do it and not hesitate.

On October 4, it was an utter disaster especially when Takaya (*cough* Shinjiro's real killer *cough* people who keep insisting that Ken is the killer) arrived. At this part, Ken finds out about Shinjiro's drug deal. He loses his shit because he finds out that Shinjiro's going to die early anyway no matter what he does. Killing Shinjiro at this point felt like knocking someone who was already down. It had no point. And because killing Shinjiro had no point, Ken's entire purpose for living had no point. So... He had no purpose.

And this was why Ken went "I have no reason to live."

Other things we can actually see on October 4 is that Ken does care about SEES. He joined SEES with ulterior motives but in the end, he cares. He pretended that he was the navigator to make sure that Takaya won't find out about Fuuka and that Takaya would target him. The time he spent in SEES was most likely the most emotional support he got (and that's kinda sad because SEES is like the most dysfunctional party out of all the Persona games (except maybe P2:EP?)). He got people who saw the same things he saw, people who understood him. He got people who actually bothered to talk to him and listen. Heck, you can even bring him to the movies which I'm sure is great because who knows how long has that kid haven't seen a movie or had fun. There's people who actually don't treat him with so much pity. That fact that you can bring him to Tartarus, I think he's glad about that because he's not underestimated. Ken was respected in SEES as an equal and he appreciated it.

After the entire Oct. 4 shenanigans, Ken has learned to look into himself. He realized his mistakes, his deep hatred blinding him, but most of all, he found a reason to live. He finally moved on, and decided to live as that was what his mom and Shinjiro would've truly wanted.

Then fast forward to P4:AU we can see that he's indeed living. He's pretty much the most popular guy in school, he's in Student Council, and he's even in the soccer club. But he can't fully live yet.

If you've P3 episode of P4:AU, you'd play the Ken vs Shadow Ken part which actually reveals a lot about post-P3 Ken. If you haven't, watch it here.

Ken can't be 100% content with his current life. He feels fake, being a child again, going to school normally and having friends his age to talk and laugh with. This is because of how much his past has destroyed his childhood. He was forced to mature, forced to see things his age shouldn't see, forced to experience things that he shouldn't experience that age. No one his age could understand. They were too innocent while the ones who could understand him (SEES) were too old.

An interesting thing about his entire image post-P3 is that he was basically the "ideal student". He was handsome, smart, athletic, responsible, etc. It makes me wonder if he got that image because it was what he thought was what living was (which his mom and Shinjiro wanted) or because that was what people expected of him. I can see him trying to be more of a child because people expected him to be lighter as the entire Tartarus-Nyx dilemma was gone. I can also see him forcing himself to be more of a child as he feels the obligation to take back the childhood he lost. But that's it, he forced himself. He's not content because for him, he's fake.

Ken's fake he only wanted to fight and this affects him. I think he wanted to fight because that felt the closest to his true self: who he was when he was with SEES. He wanted to help the Shadow Operatives because it was the only environment he can be 100% honest to himself. No pretending that he had a normal life. It was living as him, with people who knew him. In the end, it circles back to the point that he finds fighting Shadows as a purpose to live.

This chapter also showed that Shinjiro still affects him. He blames himself for what happened on October 4, with his monologues saying that he committed a mistake in relation to Shinjiro's death. Shinjiro is an important person to him and his death was very much impactful.

Then Ken fights his fake, where he says that he's been "conceited" and "didn't understand anything at all". I take this as a point of enlightenment for him. What he didn't understand was "living". He followed a mold that be felt he should follow. He thought that he could only feel true to himself by only fighting supernatural creatures. He realised that he wasn't truly living at this point. He thought he understood that he was living like how his mom and Shinjiro wanted but he wasn't. He was still stuck in the past.

This was why I loved his epilogue. In his epilogue, he decides to quit the Shadow Operatives. He decides that it was time for him to move on from their dark past and continue living, not only for his mom and Shinjiro, but also for himself. He thinks that it was better for him this way. He gets to regain his childhood.

His fangirls notice that he's become less distant and more warm to approach, showing signs that he's beginning to open up to people. Despite the fact that he can never tell people about the whole Shadows and Personas, he can still make new bonds. He doesn't have to be stuck on one bond.

This doesn't mean he's abandoning SEES. He still recognises his string bond with them, one might even say that they're family at this point. But just because he has a bond with them doesn't mean he should only restrict himself to them. He can make new, true bonds that aren't fake.

He finds out how to truly live. He just enjoys the moment and finally lets go, showing his inner child.

Ken's character is all about the purpose of life. Because even if life is so hard it feels like death, there's always a reason to live. Even if you can't find your purpose to live now, you will find it someday.

[blindspot-repata]

High School Blindspot

Chapter 1 - Meeting friends

"Natasha, I didn't see you arrive yesterday, what time was it?" Her grandma heard when Natasha opened the door last night, but she wanted to know about the girl. She was worried, for a few days her granddaughter showed strange, quieter and sadder behavior.

"Don't worry, Grandma, it wasn't too late." Natasha tried to reassure her grandmother.

"Honey, I would never get into your dates, but you know I don't think Ricky is the right guy for you. You should date someone like Edgar, who is a golden boy.”

“Oh, grandma! You know he's just my friend.” The girl hurried to jam on a toast and hurried off. “And there's more, he's dating with a girl.”

"But that can change, my daughter! I'm sure if you give a signal it will be in your hand.”

“Bye!” - She blew Grandma a kiss and hurried out the door.

Edgar was waiting for her on the sidewalk. It had been that way forever, she and Edgar, inseparable. He was her great support when she and her brothers came to live with their grandparents, the circumstances were not good, they were taken from their parents for bad care and abuse, exposure to alcohol, drugs and violence. Edgar was there, met her in the neighborhood, helped her get in school, hugged her every time she needed to cry, and didn't want to worry her grandparents.

Natasha has also always been the support for Edgar. When he first saw the girl she was scared and not very friendly, but he was always solicitous coming softly and won her friendship. When he lost his father in a car accident four years ago she was by his side at the funeral at the seventh day mass, she helped him overcome the loss and showed him that over time the pain subsided. It was her first fuck with her, at age 15, they took a bottle of whiskey to the basement of Tasha's grandparents and got very drunk, the next day the hangover was so much that both swore never to drink alcohol again. For a while Edgar felt a platonic love for the latina, even rehearsed a way of declaring himself to her, but never had the courage. Over time he gave up and dated other girls and she, other boys. Today they were just best friends and confidants.

The two faced together all the adversities that appeared, after all was 1999, the end of the millennium and it was still not easy to be young in New York, much less for a black boy and a girl of Latin origin. Prejudice was everywhere, but they always defended and supported each other.

“Late again? Let's go or not take the first class. If Inspector Weitz sees us arriving late again this week, we're screwed.”

"I couldn't wake up very early today, I was too tired."

“What's this around your neck?” Edgar saw on the girl's neck a bluish mark that wasn't there yesterday.

“It’s nothing.” She didn't want to tell him what Ricky had done this time, better not get him into her problems. Natasha pulled the zipper on her sweatshirt higher so that the mark didn't appear.

"Natasha, you can say anything you want to me, you know." - The boy always made a point of showing her that he was there for anything.

“I know. Thanks. I just don't want to talk about it, not now.” She didn't want to worry him, because he already had his own problems, but she didn't know how long she could hide from him everything that was going on.

“I think I can already buy my car.” Edgar worked in a machine shop after class and had been raising money to buy a car. “I talked to Mr Nigel yesterday and he said he gives me an advance of what is missing so I can get my car.” The boy showed excitement in his face.

"Hmm. I won't even have the honor of walking with you anymore. It's gonna be a mess, all the girls wanting to hitchhike in your car.” Natasha always played with him about girls. When he became head of the school soccer team she kept mocking him, which would catch all the cheerleaders. But it was just a joke, she cheered and vibrated with him with each achievement. "By the way, how's Sarah doing?"

“I don't even know.” Edgar shrugged. "I don't think she wants anything more from me, she keeps avoiding me. You know, I won't insist on someone who doesn't really want me. And you, all right?”

“Yes,I'm ok” The girl shrugged.

Ever since Rick had met some weird guys at his new job Natasha began to feel a little afraid of his behavior, because whatever she did or said, he got violent and nervous. The girl had tried to break up more than once, but he was violent and she couldn't. After last night she swore to herself that he would never come near him again.

_____________________________________________

Remi couldn't help but stare at him, those blue eyes enchanting her from the first time she walked through that door. But she thought it was silly, because he was a very popular boy and she always saw him with the sophomore blonde, that cheerleader. She knew a guy like him would never notice her. Helen had never encouraged her to date, on the contrary, she said they needed to win the world and not get involved in a relationship that only shows how weak you are. She had not always listened to this, but she avoided lasting involvement, for she was not even worthy of a love relationship.

“Hi, how are you?” The clumsy geek sat beside her with a stack of books but hands and Remi watched. “Oh many books, right? I'm working on research and I need all of these, believe me. You could be part of my team, I've seen that you like chemistry.”

“Oh, I don't know. Can be. If I won't disturb you.”

"Of course not, Stuart is in the project, but he's a little clumsy and sometimes spoils the experiments. I prefer to work with girls because they are more organized, but he's a good guy, I put him on the line.”

“I know what they look like, I have a brother who is only big but still looks childish in some ways.”

“Your brother is that blondie, wow! Hum, I've seen him with you.”

“Yes, that's him.” RemiRemi laughed, because she had already seen how Patty looked at him, seemed to devour him with eyes. The brother really liked was a trouble. Helen had put them to practice martial arts from an early age, and Roman thought he should punch anyone who crossed his path. Since moving to this school two weeks ago, he has been on the board twice.

“What are you looking at? Kurt?” Patty followed the direction of Remi's gaze and saw her staring at him. “He's a good guy and will still find the right girl.”

“I'm not looking at him.” Remi felt his face turn red when she saw the boy look in her direction and linger looking at her. The girl looked down and didn’t look in his direction anymore.

Kurt had noticed the fledgling girl from day one, but saw it as an impenetrable iceberg. She was beautiful and mysterious and was always accompanied by her twin. Since she arrived he hadn't had a chance to exchange a word with her, he needed to work it out. He'd seen her talking to Patty, maybe if he talked to her, but the nerd was always in the lab and into her crazy experiments.

“Hey, Ed! Do you have footeball training today?” Kurt addressed the dark-haired young man who was storing things in his bag.

“No. I'm thinking of looking for Natasha to leave soon.”

"I'm coming with you, I need to talk to Patty, maybe they're together."

_____________________________________________

“Hey, I finally found you!” Natasha went into the lab and saw that Patty had bequers and tubes bubbling, some appliances with bright lights flashing, and there were also open books on the bench.

“We are working on a new project and we can't stop now, because we are in the middle of the reaction. Stuart, what did you do here? I told you it wasn't time to add the acid yet!” Patty always stressed about the boy's clumsy way.

“Hi. How are you getting to work with them?” Natasha addressed the shoulder-length brunette girl. "Your name is Remi, isn't it? I'm Natasha. “The latina appeared after the brunette confirmed.”

"Sometimes I think she's trying to refute Lavoisier's Law." They both burst out laughing.

“Patty! What did you do this time?” Rich had just entered the lab and looked pretty stressed.

“What are you talking about?” The geek frowned.

"Those experiments of yours are pulling all the energy from the building and shutting down the computers in the computer lab! I’ll start by turning off these gadgets with these lights here that must be the bad guys.”

“Don't touch my multimeters!” Patty slapped Rich's hand backward. “I'll fix this, I can not go off so it will disturb everything.”

Patty did what the boy asked by releasing the energy he was consuming from his experience.

“It's time to go. Give me five minutes that will be all right for your computers.”

“Hey babe! Have you ever met the computer lab?” Rich addressed Remi, who remained silent. “ I can introduce you and show you new programs and windows that were recently installed.”

“Rich! You have no way! Let Boston hear that!” Natasha scolded him, because she knew Rich loved to sneak and also knew how jealous Boston was.

“Boston may also like to participate in the presentation of the new programs, you are also invited, bravely.” Rich headed for the latina. "We close the lab door ..." The boy leaned toward the girls and put his hand over Remi's.

“No, Rich! I already met your fame and won't stick with me!” Remi took his hand from hers and walked away.

Rich watched as the rookie girl Remi seemed to be her name, glanced at the lab door and looked at the newly arrived figure.

"Hey Stuble, hi Eddie, you've been missing computer classes!" Rich thought the blue-eyed boy was handsome and sexy, but he knew how much he loved girls.

“Hi Rich!” Kurt greeted the boy with a little disdain. “Patty, what are you up to this time?” then she noticed the short-haired brunette girl standing in front of the bench next to Natasha.

"Hi." Remi greeted him with a shy smile that shook his structures. How perfect the girl was!

“Hello! Can you understand Patty's nuts?”

“Hey, Kurt! They are not crazy! You are all a bunch of misinformed, if you want to start drawing the formulas on the board and you will understand everything that is happening here!” The blonde girl always made a point of trying to explain to friends what she was working on.

“It’s boy necessary!” The answer was in unison.

“I will enjoy that you are all here and I will make an invitation!” Patty was addressing them all at once. “Freddy, my brother, is having a party at my house on Saturday. My parents traveled and released the house, since they don't break anything, you are invited! Your brother too! Patty addressed Remi referring to the handsome blond boy. And, Rich, take Boston! You two can take your girlfriends. Natasha ...

"I won't take ..." She was referring to Ricky. The latina didn't intend to leave the boy to this party. She just wanted to have fun with her friends.

Remi noticed Kurt's disquiet when Patty talked about his girlfriend, but the boy didn't answer Patty at all.

“ You go?” Kurt was addressing her.

“ I don’t know?” “She was still wondering how fun it could be to get fit, make friends. “I’ll see if I can.”

"Make an effort, her brother's parties are fun." The boy smiled and she lingered admiring the crooked smile that formed on his face.

The class dispersed and Remi went to meet his brother who was waiting for her in the courtyard. She risked a look back and saw Kurt talking and laughing with his friends.

_____________________________________________

[cantquitu]

idk louis pretty explicitly says "yeah i'm rich AF but i also experience the same things you do" like, he doesn't ignore his privilege.

No, he doesn’t ignore it at all, he calls it out. I didn’t suggest he did. He’s saying that his problems might look different because he’s rich and famous, but actually he’s just like us. Which is valid. But the way it’s phrased just makes me think, “Yeah, we know you experience heartache and loss and worry just the same, and you like a night in with your girlfriend and the pub on Sunday. But you’re also fuckin’ loaded. So yep, we’re all human  - but I’d rather be sitting on a pile of cash while dealing with the problems all humans deal with”. Which I doubt is the response he would hope for. Again, I understand his intention. But he has phrased it more eloquently elsewhere than he has in this song, in my opinion. 

Sorry I didn’t get to answer these asks earlier. Gonna publish them all together!

Anon 2: I like the idea of the song but I wish he went about it differently.. maybe he could’ve less literal? Idk but ‘i’m just like you’ sounds so weird to me, I can’t. I usually like Louis’ songwriting but this is not great imo :(

Yes, it’s a simple thing but the “just like you” is what grates with me. ‘Just like anyone’, ‘same as everyone’ would not grate as much.

holyfant said:I agree with your first thoughts; I think the sound of the song is nice enough but the sentiment *and* the lyrics are a bit cringy. “Yeah I get sad too”? That’s just a little… eesh. I can feel that he’s earnest about this but his exploration of the very interesting tension between a celeb’s public person and their inner life just feels a little childish and undeveloped. I like how he tends towards non-poetic and straight-forward lyrics but this falls a bit flat to me.

Yep, that sums up how i feel about it.

Anon 3: the lyrics are def cringe but i’d also rather hear the lyrics to just like you than “coke and bicardi, sipping lightly” and “she’s a devil between the sheets” tbqh :/

Oh god yes, anything’s better than either of those two lines!!!

Anon 4: I think the biggest issue is the “same stress” because nahhh neverrrr

I mean, the important things bring about the same stress - love, loss, grief, fear - but, yeah he has a lot of very different stresses (ones that I can say straight up I could NEVER cope with and  I don’t know how he manages), and then there are others that he is lucky enough to never have to experience.

Anon 5: I’ve just listened to Just Like You out of curiosity, cause I’ve never been a 1D fan and only became a Harry fan recently, I don’t follow the other boys careers. So coming from a sort of neutral listener pov, the song is lyrically quite cringy, yeah. I understand where the boy is coming from, but it’s not coming across right. If he’d focused on the human struggle side of things it would have worked, but talking about cars, money and glory makes it very unrelatable and works against the message. 

I don’t mind that so much because I think it would have sounded much more hollow if he didn’t acknowledge the privileges he has. I just don’t think it was done particularly well.

Anon 6: maybe the simpler meaning of JLY is about not wanting to be a topic in tabloids, not wanting to be that kind of celebrity. Louis wants the acclaim as a musician, he loves his craft but never signed up for the hideousness of the last two years in tabloids. this idea to sell art you must live every moment for public consumption seems irksome to him. He’s ready to return to being a musician sans the scrutiny. and JLY is the mandate just told in his soft lyrics

That’s certainly one interpretation but I really don’t think that’s his intention. First of all, he has said several times that this song is for the fans, to share more about himself with them. So I see it as directed to fans and the public rather than a call out to the tabloids. And I really don’t see it as being about him wanting to practice his craft in peace. Nothing in the lyrics indicates that. Especially as, let’s be honest, Louis signed up for the X Factor and I find it a very big stretch to believe he did it solely for the ‘art’. I don’t think he’d ever claim that himself. 

Anon 7: Feel the same about the song, and it’s also because of my tastes. I mean i liked jho, not too much bty, but i totally dislike jly. Still i’ll support Louis, but it doesn’t mean we are forced to love all he does just because we love him ;)

I’m off to listen to it again now, to see if it’ll grow on me. I like that Louis is being so honest, even if I don’t think it was executed particularly well. I hope people take it the song how it was intended …