#which are half devoted to action scenes

[merakiui]

[0] 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔲𝔢.

yandere!twst x (female) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, non-consensual touching, power imbalance, abuse of power, descriptions of religious imagery, attempted non-con, hypocrisy, solitary confinement, rollo is immensely creepy, archaic mindsets and logic masterlist // prologue (you are here) // one

Without a shred of sympathy, discarded like dross, you are thrown before Father Flamme’s feet.

You have enough grace and dignity to resist the urge to grasp at his robes and beg for forgiveness. Instead, you condemn yourself to silence, allowing his piercing stare to stab through you with a judgment so precise it might just slice the skin from your skeleton. Your tongue darts out to wet your dry lips, and you can almost taste his disapproval, much like a snake might parse chemical witchery in the air.

“Lift your head, if you would,” he commands gently, and you do as you’re told. He folds his arms over his chest and looks on, cold as winter’s frost. You watch his finger tap out a soundless rhythm. “I must ask of you, Sister, to provide reason to your recent absences. As a child of God, you have taken oath to follow His wise teachings and devote yourself to serving this church. Am I wrong?”

“You speak wise and true.” You rise to your feet and, ignoring the brutes who so rudely cast you forward in the first place, bow your head in apology. Father Flamme waves them out without sparing so much as a second glance. “You are right that it is my duty to serve the church. I ought to be doing just that and yet I have failed to do so. Undeserving I may be, I ask that you pardon my negligence.”

Father Flamme hums. Standing in front of the altar, backdropped by a stained glass depiction of the crucifixion, he is bathed in a colorful, angelic array. He strides towards you, covering the short distance in just a few clicks, and places his hand upon your shoulder. You’re led from the steps and down the aisle. It feels more like you’re being brought away for slaughter, a lamb primed for punishment.

“There is no doubt you are genuine in all that you do,” he notes, sliding his hand down your arm. Those slender, spidery digits curl into your woolen sleeve. “You are impartial and well-bred, a woman of impressive patience and virtue. Qualities of which arouse an admiration most potent.”

You know the rest of your convent is much the same, which is why it puzzles you that Father Flamme should praise your humble name in such a sickeningly fond manner.

“You are too kind, Father,” you acquiesce. “As a modest servant of God, it’s my pleasure to devote myself to Him, the church, my fellow sisters, and the community.”

“Hmm. A laudable outlook.” His lips quirk up in a smile. Strangely, it looks sharp and predatory. It does not reach his eyes.

Father Flamme steers you in the direction of another stained glass window. This scene is of The Resurrection of Christ. You gaze at His face and wonder if there truly is something up there, watching over the world’s sheep as they live out cyclical days in their pastures.

Immediately, you realize you should commit yourself to writing lines to chase that doubtful notion away.

Father Flamme rests his hand on your other arm to hold you in place. “A quote paraphrased from the Gospel of Matthew, chapter twenty-two, verses thirty-six through thirty-eight, if you’ll listen: ‘When asked which is the great commandment of all in the law, Jesus would reply, ‘You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment.’”

You nod mechanically, only half-listening. After observing you closely, he frowns.

“What troubles you, Sister?”

“It is hardly a burden worth shouldering. I assure you I’m of sound health. My recent habit of absence is most unbecoming of a sister. I should sooner confront the great shame of my actions than let it fester within.”

“There is still time to atone. You must seek counsel and, having taken it in your arms just as God embraces all, you will know forgiveness.”

You rest your hand upon Father Flamme’s, which has somehow found its home at your hip. “And how do you suppose I do that?”

He smiles that empty smile again. “If He is to provide for you, you must first lay yourself bare before him. I am no fool, Sister. There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“I have been truthful, Father. I would never lie under this sacred roof, nor would I have the gall to do so in your presence. It would be an offense so beastly I could not bear to let it weigh heavy on my heart.”

“Yet, rather than scorch your tongue with a dissolution of the truth, you evade the simplest of queries.” His fingers toy with the knots of your cincture. “What manner of tale will you spin to mystify me next?”

Reacting on instinct, you rip yourself from his immoral grasp. The nave is as silent as the grave, so stuffy it’s suffocating. Father Flamme narrows his eyes at you. His gaze cuts through you like blood swirling through the cracks in ice—like a scalding brand pressed onto flesh.

A thick tension blankets the air. You merely stare at him, and he levels you with the same calculating intensity. Both of you are searching the other’s face, hoping to find an explanation for such polar opposite behavior.

You’re courageous enough to break the quiet first.

“If it would please you, Father, I will graciously offer myself up for confession. There is no reason or need to circumvent the Lord.”

“Sister (Name), if you may spare the time, I entreat you to take a short stroll with me.” Before you can object, he offers his arm. “All children are lost lambs who will soon find their way when following the path illuminated by God’s brilliant light. You are no different. It is my duty to see that you are no longer led astray by temptation and the litany of filth propagated by the fiend.”

Sensing no other option, you link arms with him and subject yourself to his whims. “I’ve a frightful feeling. Most frightful indeed.”

“By all means, confide in God and trust that He will provide shelter. Under His sacred roof, He will lend an ear just as I am doing now.”

You inhale a steadying breath. At this moment, Father Flamme is all you have. In the depths of your heart, you’re aware he’ll never understand. He will never know the morbid secrets that dwell in darkened corners, swept expertly away. And if he knew, you would never be welcome in the church again. Your fellow sisters would certainly turn their noses up at you, loathing the sin of your very existence.

Even as you walk alongside the righteous bishop, you feel an overwhelming itchiness.

“Recent events have led me to believe—though I pray it isn’t true—that my heart has been possessed with a ghastly malady. Umbras waltz in my peripheral—no trick of the light, I assure!”

“Perhaps it is merely a case of wicked dreams?” he posits, leading you through the aisle like a father might accompany a bride on her wedding day. You shake your head insistently, and so he holds his hand up to soothe your frazzled disposition. “Peace, Sister. The songs of night are naught but whimsical folly weaved from the silk of zealous minds. You would do well to shake yourself free of their deceitful shroud.”

“I shall do so most ardently.”

“To rectify this trouble, might you consider attending evening mass? It can only do you good.”

You step up towards the altar, keeping pace with Father Flamme’s casual gait. “Oh, I couldn’t. As of late, I’ve felt uneasy in my solitude. I fear my shadow is not my own…”

His verdant eyes are so stark against the pallor of his face that it reminds you of coins placed over those of the dead. His arm slips away from your waist and, gathering your hands in his, he assesses you more carefully. Under the watchful stare of both Father Flamme and a crucified deity, you feel as if someone has taken a spoon to your soul and scraped it out. And then, for extra, unnecessary measure, they’ve flattened it out on a table for dissection in hopes of picking apart each of your dirtiest secrets.

“Oh? Do elucidate.”

Hazarding a glance at the cross situated grandly in multicolored glass, you lower your voice so as to not be heard by any outside parties. Paranoia grips you in a clenched fist.

“Something—what it may be, I could not begin to form ample conjecture—is hunting me.”

He does not grace you with a reply, and this only incenses the unrest bubbling within you.

“How say you, Father? What is it that causes me such nocturnal torment?”

His features are set in perfect neutrality; it’s impossible to glean any sort of emotion from the way he acts. He coaxes you closer, pulling you along towards the altar. 

“It is with great devastation that I must behold you as you are,” he says, breaking the suspense. “Tainted with the despicable sins of the world outside, young and promising as you are… I shall remedy that.”

You open your mouth to voice concern, but in one swift motion he shoves you against the altar. You land with a thud, your back colliding against sturdy mahogany. It happens in a flash, like the final expulsion of breath from your lungs in the wake of the end. He’s between your flailing legs, pushing you up and onto the cloth-covered surface. Brass candlesticks scatter in a haphazard clatter. Globs of wax bespatter stone floors.

In the quaint tranquility of the church, the struggle is louder than a newborn’s cry.

Your chest heaves in a panic. 

Gracious God above, I implore you—save me from this wretched devil!

Your pupils flit wildly, assessing every area within your range. There must be a means to escape! Above the ornate display, his head hung, your god looks on silently. He does not offer a whit of protection.

“Father—”

Frigid fingers crawl upon your legs like a flurry of scurrying rats. You blink up at him, helplessly hopeful.

He inhales a long, steadying breath and shuts his eyes. “God, have mercy. Have pity on this wayward soul. May she be cleansed beneath my fingertips, pure as freshly fallen snow, and may you forgive her every transgression.”

You sputter an incoherent noise.

He opens his eyes and smiles serenely. “Amen.”

Squirming beneath him, you resist his touch like it’s flickering flame. “Father, I beg of you… Quell your frustrations and release me at once. I am innocent.”

He sighs, unconvinced. “You are exquisitely venust, Sister. As sweet as the first buds of spring. You must know it is impossible for beauty to exist freely when there are fiends who wish to tarnish it—who will trample upon the virtuous garden in which you bloom and pluck you by the root, rough as barbarians. Thus, it is my duty to see that you are scrubbed of their detestable influence. May God pardon my iniquity.”

His hands slide up your calves beneath your habit. You watch, prickled with horror, as he parts your legs. 

“Belle chose, unfurl your petals so that we may make feet for children’s stockings.”

He leans over you, reaching to secure your wrists with one hand. The other climbs higher in its rapacious pursuit of a place most sacred. In the midst of your ferocious thrashing, you espy His divine eye once more.

I adjure you, Lord… Save me from this demon. You must. Please, Lord…

Silence. A haunting, engulfing silence. 

There is no salvation to be found beneath the cross. None for you, as it appears so disturbingly clear.

“Unhand me! Unhand me at once!” you snap, tearing your arm free. “You would allow yourself to fall lower than the ground you trod upon—to so flagrantly commit sacrilege in His hallowed home?!”

“It is not I who is to be scorned so. I am guiltless,” he sneers. But then he smooths his scowl into that of pristine, practiced patience, and he speaks in a soft, pitying tone. “Oh, Sister, you have allowed them to tip poison into your precious ears… Your perception is clouded with the cobwebs of that uncouth crowd.”

“To stand at his feet and reveal your malice in such a grotesque manner… You are no better than swine!”

“You shall see there is no better solace to be found than with me.” Tenderly, he fits his hand, cold and skeletal, in yours. “I shall shelter you from all that is cruel and unjust. You need only take my hand.” His fingers flicker at your inner thigh, waltzing in circles. His incessant petting sends a shudder wracking through your body. Paralyzed as you are, you recognize the monster lurking just beneath human flesh. A demented desire flashes in his eyes. You’ve never felt more lost. “And your sins shall be forgiven.”

Father Flamme leans down, chancing to catch the scent at your neck. You reach between your bodies, searching for the garter secured around your thigh, and unsheath the dagger from beneath your habit. It’s thrust at his throat, the sharpened edge pressed close enough to pierce through the collar of his alb and draw the slightest pinprick of blood. Clasping the ivory handle in a trembling fist, you face him with a fire burning in your fear-filled visage.

Perhaps it is his own disbelief that prompts the rattle in his chest—an ominous chuckle. 

“You are a bride of Christ, yet you dare turn a blade on me?”

“You’re a man of God, yet you besmear His holy name with the sin of your incorrigible lust?”

“You are mistaken, Sister.” He grabs hold of your fist with both hands and folds his fingers over yours in mock prayer. As if intending to stoke your ire, he tilts his head in taunt. “Let my blood run red on this altar and you shall know of my humanity.”

“Defile the Lamb of God and you are no shepherd but, rather, the wolf who adorns himself in woolen mendacity.”

Before he can utter a response, the doors burst open. Father Flamme releases your hand and climbs off of you, brushing the wrinkles from his robes. An icy gale claws at the interior, and with it two men arrive in a whirlwind rush.

“Your Excellency, forgive our intrusion!”

Your arm falls to your side and, with a mounting sense of defeat, you gaze at the ceiling. You don’t feel soothed, but you must compose yourself. And so, shoving your frenzied emotions to the side, you sheath your blade and scramble to make yourself presentable once your feet are back on the floor. Brightening at the sight of the two villagers, you cradle your rosary and pray silently.

Dear God, may you smite he who spreads abhorrent rot with his fingertips and, in witnessing a most magnificent death flail, gralloch him without mercy.

“Ah, gentlemen, what fortuitous timing,” Father Flamme greets them, smiling. “Do come in. I’ve a task for you, if you would be so inclined.”

You linger behind, cautious like a gare-fowl often is when at the receiving end of a hunter’s rifle.

“Your Excellency, you need only ask and we are at your service.”

“Before that, you must accompany us to the hogs,” the other interjects. “Death has soiled these grounds, Your Excellency. A sight so barbarous it forebodes only the worst! You must come—come and behold the infernal darkness which has cursed this village!”

Father Flamme glances between the both of them, assessing the urgency of the situation that has been so cryptically illustrated.

“As you have described, the present circumstances appear dire. Oh, but I do require your assistance before that, gentlemen. It shan’t be too arduous a task.” He turns on his heel and indicates you with an outstretched hand. “Sister (Name) totters at the precipice with her fickle faith. As it is my duty to ensure all are well in the arms of God, I must take…caution—you might say—in sorting such a sensitive matter.”

The men exchange bewildered looks.

“You imply…punishment, sir?”

“Nay, I think not!” you interrupt, striding forwards. You’re stopped by Father Flamme’s arm, held just in front of your chest to keep you in place. “Father, I am steadfast in my faith. I have—”

“If such were the truth, you would not speak nullifidian filth.”

Pushing past him, you plead with the men: “Sirs, he knots his tongue and utters dishonesty! You know of my virtue—my loyalty to Him. And of my father, who has provided comfort and care, the means by which I was raised into the woman you see before you, I am justly proud. As the daughter of (Last Name), I sicken with the thought of bringing dishonor to my father, my faith—all of which I hold true in my heart. Sirs, you must believe in—”

Father Flamme lifts his hand to silence you, but you’re aware of his cunning machinations. “I ask of you this, good sirs. When sailors set out at sea, do they allow themselves to fall prey to the song of the siren? Just as those wretched sea-beasts sing, so, too, does honey pour spoiled from the mouth of a sinner. Her words serve to chart a course for ill-founded temptation.”

“Sister, your virtue I do not question.” The villager addresses Father Flamme next, disregarding your presence entirely, as if you are naught but a worthless speck. “What shall we do, Your Excellency?”

A smile curls on his lips. “Take her to the tower just beyond the village. She shall remain in solitude for seven days. That shall provide her with ample time for contemplation.”

The men approach you without a hint of remorse on their lips. Cornered, you look to Father Flamme for guidance.

“Father, I beg of you—you mustn’t send me away! I shall repent! I shall do so before you now.”

“It serves me no satisfaction to subject you to solitary confinement.” He folds his hands in front of him and observes the spectacle of your resistance. “You have proven to me your doubt in the capabilities of the Lord. It is my right to correct your contumacious thoughts. I’m certain your father would share this sentiment. No daughter should empty her mind of His valuable teachings.”

“Do not speak as if you have dined with my father,” you hiss, wriggling in the firm hold of both men.

Father Flamme steps closer and smiles. “Let us away.” 

You are dragged, struggling all the while, out of the church and down the steps. There is a ferocious bite to this year’s autumnal weather. Father Flamme is gracious enough to drape his cloak over your shoulders just before you’re lifted onto a horse. He mounts his stallion and, with the crack of a whip, the four of you are off towards the decrepit tower at the rugged foothills of the mountains. No words are exchanged. You’ve said more than enough and you still remain the accused, guilty due to distorted logic.

The tower, which had once appeared so distantly out of your mind, gains striking clarity as you approach. You gaze helplessly at the man transporting you. He offers nothing of substance, his gaze focused squarely on the dirt footpath ahead.

When you were but a babe, the tower served as a warning for all children in the village: Those whose souls are stained with the sins of their atrocities shall wither away in silence.

There was once a raving madman who was imprisoned there in your youth. A heretic, he was called. Driven to his end, his sanity thin as a hair, he scraped at the walls and pulled loose bricks free until his fingernails cracked and blood trickled down his hands in rivers. When he had created a sizable opening for himself, at the peak of his derangement, he climbed out to meet the sun’s soft rays, a singular blessing owed for years of captivity. And then he threw himself from the tower, landing in a broken spattering at the very bottom.

In the years following, the tower housed numerous prisoners. It is a cold, unforgiving place, existing solely for the ugly and the crooked. And, now, the misunderstood. The wrongfully accused.

As you’re helped down from the horse, you ponder how many have been sent here to live out time for unfair accusations.

You’re joined by the second villager shortly, and they flank you like soldiers as they shove you along.

“Have you no sympathy, sirs!” you snap, shaking yourself from their grip. “To treat me so callously when my devotion is fervent and true! I am no fabulist.”

The men say nothing and amble onwards, pushing you closer to the tower. One of them attempts to seize your wrist; you evade him gracefully. Father Flamme observes your outright stubborn refusal and hums his disapproval.

“Unhand me! I’ll go of my own accord. I’ve feet for a reason, and thus they shall work as God intended. I need not the assistance of fools. My legs shall be the ones to carry me.” Punctuating that with an indignant huff, you stride ahead.

What brutish handling… These doltish fiends sit under the tree of knowledge and yet not a single fruit falls into their laps. To think this is how they would treat someone sworn to the church—and a lady, no less!

The latch is weather-worn, and it creaks a discordant note when lifted. You peek into the shadowed entrance and frown. Before you are subjected to the impatience of the men at your side, you step into the dimness. It is alight with the red-orange slivers of a setting sun.

“You shall wait here. I will accompany this misguided Sister to the very top. After which, we shall return to the village and I shall accompany you to the hogs.”

The men nod and stand at attention.

If you’re so dedicated to foolish play, you would be wise to salute, you think with a sardonic tut.

Father Flamme offers his arm. “Shall we?”

Ignoring his attempt at chivalry, you lift your habit so as to not trip on it and begin the lengthy ascent up the spiraling staircase. He chuckles and follows your lead. Every wooden step creaks under your weight. Something brushes your face—dust, perhaps. You swat at your face, grimacing. The scent of mold and rot clings to the bowels of this tower like maggots on a corpse, impossibly redolent in ways you shall avoid giving thought to.

I must not breathe so deeply, lest I wish to savor the taste of decay and bitter rage.

You carry on, ignoring the creeping revulsion and the stench of death as it clouds the air, accompanying you on your journey. A door waits for you at the top. You note it is without a lock.

“A bird will not fly in captivity,” Father Flamme advises, pushing it open to reveal a sparsely furnished room. It’s equipped with the essentials a common prisoner would need. You can’t help feeling less than human the moment you pass through the threshold.

It is enough of a sight to wear on my eyes and render them woefully sore.

He meets you at the door and offers an embroidered reticule. “I shall retrieve you in seven days’ time.”

You eye him dubiously and, upon sensing no additional malevolence, swipe the reticule from him. “May you rest guilty on your bed of lies.”

He leans in close, his voice as faint as a phantasm. “May you reflect on what it is you hold dear, for I assure you it is well within my reach.” He pivots and begins his descent, his footsteps tapping out a resounding rhythm. “You will learn a glorious lesson here. Treasure it as you would a child.”

Minutes later, the door below shuts and the latch is dropped into place. The noise races up the stone spiral in echo, filling your ears with its haunting reverberation.

Now you’re truly alone.

“How boorish he must be to condemn me to this prison!” You slam the door in your anger and drop the reticule onto the bed. In an effort of appraisal, you feel the lumpy mattress. It’s packed full of straw. “I am not nameless, nor am I a harlot. Yet I am gifted the opulence of peasants. I can scarcely accept such generosity.”

Alas, this is your new misfortune.

To busy your idle hands, you open the reticule and peer inside at its contents. A thumb Bible rests beside a bulk of misshapen cloth. Gingerly, you unwrap it to find bread, cheese, and salt pork. Somehow—and you have every right to be fastidious—you doubt this modest portion will be enough for seven days.

“And not a drop of water!” you announce to the empty room. “He has an astounding amount of faith in me if he thinks I will surrender so simply. One day he shall get his gruel. I’ll make sure of it.”

Until then you will never know peace.

Bundling the rations, you place them within the reticule alongside the Bible. Perhaps you should have requested writing implements or a book—anything to preclude the impending accidie. 

Beyond the window, which is sized perfectly for the smallest bird, the sun disappears below the horizon. Ink spills across the sky, darkening the surroundings outside the tower and leaving room for stars to speckle the vastness. You sit at the edge of the bed and wrap your fingers around your rosary.

“Dear God, you know I am faultless and so I ask that you guide me in understanding your ways. Father Flamme speaks of protection in your home and yet when danger is knocking you are not there to answer.” You tug anxiously at the beads. “If you are there, show me… Show me that you hear my prayers. Show me that I am not alone. That even I, imperfect as I may be, am deserving of your sanctuary and forgiveness. Amen.”

Shrugging the cloak off, you fold it into a neat square and set it at the end of the bed. Your veil and coif are next to go, and you take immense care in handling both. You slide your dagger out of its sheath and set it on the bed. The night is cool and so you resolve to remain dressed as you are, in your robes and chemise.

“I will endure these seven days. Each one, night and day, I will be strong. My faith will never falter. I will never waver,” you whisper, repeating this oath like a mantra. You settle into bed, sparing a final glance at the square cut into the brickwork, where a starry sky wraps the world in a celestial counterpane. “Perhaps then you might acknowledge me.”

Clutching the rosary close to your chest, comforted with the weapon at your side, you drift into dreamless slumber.

[schlong2]

latest fix rant time

none of my friends want to talk to me about monkey movies and then i remembered i have a whole blog dedicated to my latest fixations so. i've watched Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes two (TWICE ✌️) times in theaters. this was after watching the newer trilogy (Rise, Dawn & War) and the first 1968 original in prep.

things (SPOILERS!!!):

Kingdom's run time is 2 hours and 25 minutes. this is incredibly long for a movie. compared to 1968's 1 hour and 52 minutes, that's a half hour difference. Infinity War was 2 hours and 36 minutes for reference. that's a whole marvel cinematic convergence, but ape. the run time isn't exactly the issue i've seen talked about. it's the pacing. sitting twice through this movie was not a problem for me. i sat there engaged all the way through. on the second watch, i tried to be mindful of times in which it might have been dragging for the average person, and i like, literally couldn't find any. pretty much every scene had meaning and didn't drag imo. which is something these newer movies do extremely well. Kingdom is pretty equally split between verbal communication and sign language compared to the first three before it. the apes use both verbal and visual cues to talk. but because they don't talk every single time, it makes every moment that they do feel special. it reminds me of the Quiet Place concept, where most of the movie you only hear a human voice a few select times when it's safe to do so. Rise, Dawn, & War were kind of like this, as Caesar only really spoke when he was trying to make a point or communicating to humans, who are mostly speaking in those movies. he speaks more as he gets more fluent, and by War, he can speak very well. we see other apes like Koba, Maurice, Blue Eyes, and Bad Ape also speak English. these moments are rationed pretty well throughout Kingdom, making the dialog more select and meaningful. this makes every time these beasts talk feel like it means something and isn't just fluff to fill your ears. every other scene feels like it's building or showing a side of a character we hadn't seen before, and the scenes between those advance the plot or are like, really action-packed. i just don't see why some people say it has pacing problems. it's just long. i understand the average person's attention span is super short, but when you're sitting down to watch two and a half hours of movie, you gotta know there's gonna be downtime. moments where they're not fighting or advancing the plot. and i think that's GOOD man. but im also not one for action/adventures very much so maybe that's it? i think a lot of people maybe watch these apes for the violence and conflict rather than their introspection, genuinely thoughtful world building, and complex characters. and hey, that's completely fine to enjoy, but POTA is originally about morals and asking the audience questions and posing dilemmas to popular beliefs at the time. ok

Raka. he's great. Peter Macon has this butter smooth voice that's just perfect for the kind of character he plays. you can't help but like him. but he dies like 1/3 into the movie and is really only there to religion dump about Caesar (ape jesus) and then he's swept away. people are complaining that that's all he was really there for. to explain the real values of Caesar and provide a foil to Proximus. and i agree to some degree. i really hope he's not actually dead. his presence and death are felt throughout the movie, as both Mae and Noa (mostly Noa vocalizes it, Mae just silently shares in his loss and i think cries at one point?) seem to mourn him, saying shit like "if Raka were here..." and especially at the end when Noa gives the Caesar pendant to her. it's the shared memory of Raka and what he devoted his life to. but they never really like, actually linger on his death. there's a moment after he's swept away, and the shot stays on the rushing waters, Raka no longer visible and plays some sad tunes, but like. C'MON. he's not really dead. he isn't please tell me he isn't PLEASE

Noa isn't Caesar. i honestly do not get why you would want otherwise. of course, he isn't Caesar. we don't need another Caesar. he had a whole three movies to be the center of. i would be extremely disappointed if they just made a carbon copy of him or made Noa like a direct descendant of him or whatever. i hate that Chosen One bullshit. Caesar was just a guy that wanted peace for his people and that got him killed in the end. Noa is also a guy who wants peace for his clan. they're both leaders and have good hearts, but like. they're different characters. i LIKE that Noa has no relation to Caesar, i LIKE that he's his own character with his own ideals and purpose. Owen Teague does a wonderful job making the character his own. i mean Andy Serkis is Andy fucking Serkis. pretty big shoes to fill and i think Teague has the right foot size you know. i heard one guy say like "we've had our time to mourn Caesar" and yeah. we have. let's accept that and move on

WHERE MY APE DIVERSITY AT. we get a fuck ton of chimps, ONE orangutan, ONE gorilla, and ONE bonobo. what the hell. i mean. what is with the bonobo villian. Koba i fucks with because bonobos are some of the most playful, nonviolent apes out there. that humanity and its cruelty could twist a naturally peaceful creature into what Koba became.. i mean, that's great. but again with Proximus? maybe trying to evoke some of the same energy and nuance Koba had? ALSO. GORILLA PSA they are like so sweet. all that muscle is there to protect their families, and they're strictly vegetarians. i feel like Rise, Dawn, & War portrayed this better with most of the gorillas getting bodyguard jobs because of all their bulk. especially when Luca tucks that flower in Nova's ear. man. and Red going out like he did. gentle giants. in Kindgom we just have Sylva. gorilla henchman for Proximus. that's it. then we have Raka, the one orangutan character that i saw. wise and knowledgeable, guides and accompanies Noa and Mae then dies. at least we get one female chimp character that's more than just wife or mother. wikipedia lists Soona as Noa's love interest, which i can totally dig, like it's there. he takes her to the telescope at the end of Kingdom, which is more than what we saw romance-wise between Caesar and Cornelia. and the only other important chimp female is Dar, Noa's mom. in Rise, Dawn & War there was usually only one of each species of ape assigned a main role, but we saw much more diversity it felt like. maybe that's because there were smaller in numbers and have since spread out in the last 300 years? also like, bonobos are known for having female-female & male-male sex. dont know about the other apes. my friend mentioned that Raka said something about having a male companion and promptly searched reddit. all they had to say was: gaype?

the visuals. dear god the visuals. this movie is just visually stunning. absolutely breathtaking. they did a great job. i mean Rise, Dawn, & War are all triumphs of cgi and are excellent examples of the animation style done right. i did hear some guy say there is a loss of texture, as mostly everything in Kingdom is cgi, from the characters to the landscapes. but there's an explosion of texture in this film. there's one point where Noa is covered in the ash of his village and you can see it on his fur. there's quite a couple water scenes where the moisture clings to the apes' fur. It's all very impressive. great work

the references!! Rise especially has a ton of them (IT'S A MADHOUSE!!! & GET YOUR STINKIN PAWS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APE), and names like Nova and Cornelius, but Kingdom... i picked up on at least three main instances, but im sure there are more. there's the scene where the apes are rounding up the feral humans, and its very reminiscent of the scene from 1968 where they're doing the same thing for sport. there's the scene where Mae is running in the field, and she jumps on that log structure to get to Noa, which is nearly identical to a similar scene in 1968. the scene when Noa, Soona, and Anaya are exploring the human bunker and they come across an old classroom. one of them picks up a doll that says a distorted "Mama" which was huge in the original because that was evidence that once man did speak, why else would he make a doll that talked? superb call backs to the og. respect what was there before

SCHLONG THEORY

here me out guys. the starring ape-human relationship in Rise was between Caesar and Will. this type of love is called storge and describes the love a child has for a parent as well as the love a parent has for their child.

the starring ape-human relationship in Dawn was ultimately between Caesar and Malcolm. which i believe is truly philia towards the end, the love between friends and allies. just two dudes trying to keep peace in the world.

in War, i mean Caesar well and truly hates the Colonel. like more than he's hated any human in his life before. close to mania, obsession. anyways it's a study on this type of relationship between an ape and a human. true, all consuming hate.

SO in the newer movies we've explored familial love, platonic love, and hate, between an ape and a human.

in Kingdom the main ape-human relationship is between Noa and Mae. and their relationship is complex. not really that friendly and certainly not familial. no trust. some kind of begrudging respect maybe? i just think it would be neat if in further installments they explored a romantic love between a human and an ape. ok.

i KNOW Noa and Soona are probably going to get ape married and they're never going to touch on the subject but i just find it hard to believe that in the last 300 years or so that's NEVER been heard of. apes have the same level of intimacy between each other as humans do in this universe and can willingly consent. what are you so afraid of wes ball

after all, the whole franchise is about how apes, when given intelligence, compare to humans and begs the question: how different are we really?

is it possible for an ape and a human to fall in love?

[khattikeri]

prefacing this post by saying this is not a ship bashing post; i like all these ships; i am musing on my own personal preferences

i think the reason why i like wangxian and bingqiu just a little bit more than hualian boils down to the misunderstandings, with the sex scenes of their respective stories being insights into those misunderstandings.

in mdzs, lan wangji and wei wuxian's misunderstandings come about because 1) they were acquainted but not seriously close friends 2) they had to deal with a massive war and its aftermath. lan wangji was worried for wei wuxian's personal safety and had romantic feelings for him. wei wuxian was slowly led to believe over time that lan wangji didn't really like him much and wanted to harm him just like everyone else in spite of wei wuxian's righteous actions.

combined with their respective upbringings as a respectable second son and the dubiously accepted son of a servant who always has to watch his own back, there's a lot for them to untangle after the death and resurrection and feelings realization! but the moment they do realize that they're mutually in love, they jump on the chance to stay together, no more miscommunication, no waiting, no more turning away from each other again.

and the respective sex scene: you explicitly see the peerless illustrious hanguang-jun lan wangji straining, apologetic and still openly nervous during his and wei wuxian's first time. because they didn't talk things out! they were too excited! they were too happy and intent to have each other after all those years of pain so they rushed into it without really discussing anything beforehand. so lan wangji doesn't actually know if wei wuxian is going nooooo~ in a sexy way or if wei wuxian actually seriously wants lan wangji to stop. it's flawed and they work out each other's preferences later on, but they both enjoyed themselves and continue to do so even in future sex scenes.

in svsss, shen qingqiu and luo binghe's misunderstandings come about because 1) former is a modern day transmigrator compelled to not reveal anything about the story or what he actually feels for any of the characters 2) the latter is desperate to understand the former's contradictory actions and to not be abandoned.

combined with several miscommunications and hasty assumptions (e.x. luo binghe thinking that shen qingqiu must've harmed him because he despised luo binghe's half-demon ancestry; shen qingqiu thinking that luo binghe intends to torture him the way he tortured the original story's counterpart shen qingqiu) and you get a fascinating and heartrending dynamic where they clearly adore each other and are dismayed at the idea that it's inevitable for the other one to despise them and want to hurt them. things clear up because they show each other their devotion and intent to stay.

and the respective sex scene: their first time isn't even written to be titillating! they're still in the middle of battle. luo binghe's mind is being overpowered by the demonic sword xin mo, so even though shen qingqiu is okay with dual cultivation/sex to pacify the sword's lust for conquering, it's extremely rough and unpleasant. it is violent and painful and leaves shen shingqiu so battered he looks like he's been assaulted, which horrifies luo binghe when he finally regains his senses.

they're distraught as hell! it traumatizes them both! and yet in spite of that and in spite of their fears of being hurt they want to stay with each other and they actively choose to keep being with each other. they improve their communication and clearly seem to understand each other's quirks and sexual preferences better in the extras and after marriage.

versus in tgcf: xie lian and hua cheng got along with each other from day 1. there was a spark the moment xie lian met san lang on the back of that ox cart. they talked for ages and were endeared to each other basically immediately! even during the ghost bride mission where they didn't really speak to one another, xie lian clearly felt a connection to the mysterious groom who gently and safely led him through the blood rain.

through all their present-day adventures and the final battle, even when they separate by choice or by force of circumstance, hua cheng and xie lian don't ever have a serious falling out. hua cheng is loyal to the bone and xie lian is also deeply drawn to hua cheng; both their respective insecurities are treated seriously and with sincerity by the other. there may be some confusion about each other's feelings, but even that isn't twisted to the point that they completely misconstrue each other's intentions and characters.

there isn't a central misunderstanding or miscommunication between hualian the way wangxian or bingqiu had; just a mutual past to be unraveled, and the looming question of if xie lian will actually act upon his feelings/the fact that he's attracted to and in love with hua cheng.

and the respective sex scene: we don't have any explicit sex scenes due to censorship. everything is in xie lian's rather selective point of view (and he's the type who hides certain details from readers for entire volumes on end!) so the most we get is the skimmed summary: xie lian really enjoyed it and hua cheng is kind of rough. just the implication that hua cheng was naturally amazing and satisfied xie lian fully, without any particularly humanizing aspects or awkward/upsetting first time moments.

of course tgcf is a beautiful story and a lovely romance in its own right, but personally, i found mdzs and svsss's main pairings more compelling because of the misunderstandings and how the sex scenes tied into the characters' personalities and overall relationship arcs.

[saleeba]

comforting jules in these hard times :(( (with a bj ;))

summary ♡ what the request says! 

pairing ♡ jules koundé x gn!reader

content ♡ 18+, smut, blowjob, (untranslated) french terms of endearment, religious undertones for some reason, not proofread, hopefully quite lovey-dovey idek this was so rushed 😭

a/n ♡ hiiii my first little snippet!! these are generally going to be short ask-based fics that are one scene/one action + i hope to share more with u guys! :D tysmmm anon for this request i hope it lives up to ur expectations!!

the copious amount of condescending headlines about his football club was creating a frenzied commotion in the world of spanish sports media and jules found it difficult to dull the noise. add on top the emotional stress of his manager’s departure from the club and it was enough to make a boy like him break into a million pieces. 

yet you were like his superglue. you held him together with the mere thought of your presence in his mind and the nights spent tangled between the sheets and gasping promises of forever grounded jules to the best version of reality for him.

this night was no different, you trying your best to make it all about him (not that it was hard — you were practically devoted to the boy) after he came home close to tears, the burdensome weight of work troubles proving heavy on his shoulders. he was never one to let his professional life trespass into his personal one but you made it clear from day one that you were both a team and that yes, it may be “his problem”  but you were both going to jump over those hurdles hand-in-hand.

and the first approach in which you consoled him was with the help of your lips on his bare, sweaty skin, not sure if the subtle dampness was from a session in training or the way his skin always warmed up to the feeling of your mouth; the feeling of familiarity and of what just felt right. 

“please don't tease tonight, baby,” jules whispered in a tone close to begging, body writhing on the couch, his voice desperate for that same familiarity to save him from losing himself in the uncertainty that had tainted the past few days.

“not even thinking about it, jules,” you tongued at his abdomen on your way down to the waist of his shorts, fingers running inside the elastic band and skimming the part where he needed you the most. “wanna take good care of you tonight.”

a blissful sigh escaped from the parting of jules’ lips as you peeled the material off of him and cast it aside, the only thing left between you and his pure form being the pesky boxers that constrained his cock. not wanting to rush the events of the night, you go to mouth kisses on the imprint and the damn thing twitches, tip jerking ever so slightly as it leaks pre-cum onto the black cotton softness. 

“what was that about not even thinking about teasing, chérie?” he whined, hips raising in demand for you to do both of you a favour and free him from the restriction.

“i’m sorry, baby… can’t help myself, it looks so pretty like that,” you put on your best, prettiest pout and ran your fingertips down his length. “promise i’ll be good for you now.”

you finally granted him freedom and the way you quickly pulled down the set of underwear had the two of you so eager, your lips immediately came to wrap around half of his cock, the engulfing feeling sending jules’ mind into what he considered a premature frenzy. 

“s-slow down, baby,” he stuttered, hands gripping onto the sides of your head to pull you back to his tip where you suckled like a woman parched, unable to allow yourself to let him go completely. jules was addictive in every sense and the way his dick slid down your throat was even more so. you’d burned every part of him into your mind, making sure it was all unforgettable, all something you could never tire of.

“mm-hmm.” your response was muffled as you effectively ignored your boyfriend’s pleas, mouth taking more of him in, back and forth on repeat as the stiffness slid down your throat. it wasn’t an easy feat since the thickness of jules’ cock was siding on the extraordinary but your mouth was drenched, spit running down your chin and over the skin of your chest as the movement of your head over him became much more rapid.

jules was near to bursting, fingers gripping onto the leather of the sofa as he couldn't help but push his hips further towards you which only brought his dick further into your mouth, the weeping head barging at the opening of your throat. he wanted to grip your head in his hands – as leverage, as control, as a means to get as close to you as possible – but was scared to do so due of his iron-strong hold and the way your tongue traced that one vein on the underside of his dick, oh god, it was heaven—no, it was beyond that. you were his salvation, his saving grace, his angel come to earth; you were so, so good to him and he didn’t think he deserved you. but you were always there to shoot that idea down; it was always a collaboration with the two of you, you were always equals and you were always going to be. 

“i‘m gonna cum, mon ange,” your raven-haired lover whined, back arching as you continued your assault on his sensitive dick, lips reaching all the way to his pubic bone as his balls slapped against your chin with force, head motioning up and down, down and up, any which way to make jules flood your throat with that subtly-salty fluid. “oh my god, baby, please, please.” 

there was no way you were relenting now, the sounds coming from jules only giving you the motivation to bring your hands to his thighs and push your tongue out, his cock still in your mouth, aiming to caress it with the wet muscle and rip his orgasm from him in a matter of milliseconds. 

and that’s exactly what you achieved; a myriad of sweet moans from your boyfriend as he came down your throat, the mixture of clear spittle and milky-white cum threatening to spill out from your filled mouth but you drank it all up with his dick still between your lips, even managing to swallow as you moved back so that only the tip remained wrapped with the swollenness of them. 

“was that good?” you asked sincerely once you had pulled off of his softening length and stood up before pressing the most tender of kisses to his lips which parted in sheer satisfied exhaustion. 

“good? it was more than that, baby, fuck,” he let out a breathless laugh, grabbing your face to pull your mouth to his once again, the motion more hungry than before. “you make me forget about all that’s wrong, my love, thank you, thank you…” 

you couldn’t help but let out a giggle and an aww, a promise of always being there to take care of him on your lips and he was more than appreciative.

“let me take care of you now, bébé. my girl deserves it. please?”

[ts2cambremon]

Cambremon- the events so far (pt.5)

See here for: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3/ Part 4

Ren scolded Ivan for Galina's messy murder, but gave him the chance to redeem himself by putting him in charge of the Guards.

Bruk expressed his distate over Ivan's promotion, and his growing unease with Ren's methods, being especially shocked by Galina's murder. Ren answered by relating a story about his harsh upbringing, arguing that sacrifices were sometimes necessary for the greater good.

At a party organized by Serna, Kadja was reunited with a childhood friend, Sosina. Sosina, who'd been living in the Dantuzine hub, revealed that it was now ruled by two mages with no magical power, and was slowly being taken over by the cold winds.

Serna's right-hand, Katrina, informed her that Ren had arranged for Serf Astra, the only witness to Galina's murder, to be sent off to the Dantuzine hub. Serna swore that she would get revenge for her sister.

Inna and Marek got married.

Ren cornered Kadja into a storage room and tried to force himself on her. Kadja pushed him away, and Ren drunkenly announced that he would marry her.

Kadja confided in her mother, who advised her to make the best out of a bad situation, accept to marry Ren, and use her new position as lady of Cambremon to help the population of the hub.

Kadja asked Ren, as a bride-gift, to build a new school in the hub. Ren agreed, but imposed a condition of his own: Kadja would remain in Fort Cambremon and devote herself to him.

Ren and Kadja got married. Their relationship, deeply unequal, was doomed from the start. Ren became increasingly possessive of Kadja, and Kadja was deeply unhappy.

Ren and Kadja visited the Spirits Hold monastery to discuss the new school. Kadja spoke about new plans for the hub with Friar Marko, who told her she'd always be welcome in the monastery.

After a night of drinking, Ren and Bruk were ambushed by an assassin. Ren was grazed by an arrow, and the assassin poisoned herself before she could be questioned.

The investigations led by Ivan revealed that the assassin had been a Dantuzine Serf who'd recently settled in the Cambremon hub. Ren wanted to launch a punitive expedition against the Dantuzine, but Andra reminded him that they had a more urgent problem: finding a sacrifice for the Bone Spirit.

Meanwhile, Kadja bonded with Serf Janviya over the fact that they were both pregnant.

Unable to find any Cambremon bastards in the main hub, Ren sent Kadja on a mission to find some in the Serflands, which, as the previous Intendant, she knew very well. Kadja misunderstood his purpose and assumed that Ren wanted to reconnect with a half-sibling and turn them into a Mage.

Kadja brought back to Fort Cambremon a Serf called Tegantz, who was the bastard son of Ezber Cambremon.

Inna intercepted Andra and demanded to know why Tegantz had been invited to the Fort. Although she first pushed her away, Andra offered to Inna to join her and Ren.

The three Cambremon siblings sacrificed Tegantz to Bone Spirit.

Kadja, who stumbled on the scene, was terrified and ran away.

But Bone Spirit had sensed her presence.

Inna went after Kadja and attempted to convince her that the sacrifice was necessary. She made Kadja promise not to tell anyone about what she'd seen.

Already shaken, Kadja was upset even more by Ren's arrival. Lording his power over her, he ordered her to go back to her rooms.

Ren made up a fake story to explain Tegantz's death.

Aware that Ren was lying, Marek was furious about being kept in the dark. He and Inna got into an argument. She tried to justify the Cambremon's actions and he expressed concern over her own role in the sacrifice.

Kadja fled the Fort. Janviya declined to leave with her. Kadja told her where to find some money she had saved.

Kadja asked for, and obtained, asylum in the monastery.

[mythicalartistx]

KH3 Worlds ACTUALLY Matter and show Major Parallels and Foreshadowing through Sacrifice and Separation

The worlds in KH3 are often seen as just retelling of the Fairytales but with added Sora and his friends or Organization members. Because of this they're often disliked especially when there are some sections that are scene for scene and Sora and the others might not be present for this.

However, if you get passed the fact it's a retelling of the movie and get into how it connects with Kingdom Hearts story, they actually play a major role.

Olympus: Sacrifice

Olympus shows themes of sacrifice and love. It shows that Hercules didn't think and all he knew was that Meg was in trouble and threw himself in harm's way to save her. He sacrificed himself by doing that but also sacrificing his godhood to be with Meg. He would have to be separated from Meg and that's not the kind of life he would want to live.

Later on Riku ends up doing the exact same thing. When Sora feels powerless and all alone he sacrifices his being and life for Sora. And I could also argue he does it out of love because when he does this he doesn't necessarily think of his actions but does it to his devotion to Sora and protecting him like he always promised Terra.

Corona: Sacrifice

In the Tangled world, Rapunzel is willing to sacrifice her freedom to save Flynn's life and become separated from the outside world she's grown to love forever.

However, Flynn decides that her freedom is more important and sacrifices himself by cutting her hair which could make her lose the power to heal.

Rapunzel is also compared to Riku because they both so desperately felt trapped. Riku felt trapped at the island and wished to leave and explore other worlds with Sora and Kairi to point where if the raft didn't work out, he would open the door to darkness. I'll also like to include they both felt that someone they were close to left them for others.

Toy Box: Separation

In Toy Box, we learn of how Woody and Buzz among a few other had separated from half of their group. However, they are later seen that the world was split in half and are separated from their beloved friends. They realize at the end their friends who they've been separated from that they are always connected through their hearts.

And this goes back to how Sora will soon be separated from everyone and become stuck at the Quadratum. It also shows that he is always connected to them through his hearts and that's how he uses/and abuses the power of waking through that connection.

Arrendale: Sacrifice

When Elsa is about to get slashed by Hans' sword, Anna who is in the brink of death rushes in and saves her by taking the hit instead. She freezes at the same time and makes it so the sword shatter from her entire body becoming ice. She sacrifice her life for her. Elsa manages to thaw her and the cold weather by the act of love.

Which Riku then does the act of love when he sacrifices his life for Sora. Riku is also compared to Elsa on how they both pushed the people they loved/ cared about away to protect them.

Monstropolis: Separation

In this world, Sullie goes through separation of being away from Boo. They have to separate so Boo will be safe.

This also refers to how Sora ends up in the Quadratum from bringing back Kairi and abusing the power of awakening by using it too many times.

100 Acre Woods: Separation

In this world, Pooh talks to hope they're growing apart and that he misses Sora. Sora feels sad that they're not as close. The eventual outcome is that he'll always be in his heart no matter what.

I feel like this refers to him and Kairi not being as close as they were before. Ever since KH1 things changed between them and she changed. She's no longer the Kairi he knew and they are slowly growing apart. (Which is honestly sad). It also shows that even if he's by himself in the Quadratum he'll have everyone in his heart no matter how far away they are.

Fransankyoto: Separation + Sacrifice

Unlike the others I decided to say this world shows both. In the past, Hiro's brother separated from him when he sacrificed himself to try to find and save the teacher. This is also reflected in the past when beymax also stays behind to sacrifice himself so Hiro can then leave.

It helps shows the connections that no matter how far they are away, the people you love and care for will be in his heart. This shows that to help save everyone he used his connection to his friends to bring them that. It furthers that he won't be alone in the Quadratum and that Riku was able to go to him in MOM because of this.

PoTC: Separation

Finally in the pirates world, we show separation. After Will gets stabbed and he is made Captain of the Flying Dutchman, he faces separation from the one he loves Elizabeth. Only every 10 years are they able to see each other.

This foreshadows both being separated from the ones Sora loves and bringing back all his friends' hearts when Will's life almost gets taken when he gets stabbed. Being apart for 10 years also could lead to how it will take at least a year to find Sora in the Quadratum.

[velvet-cupcake-games]

Made Marion Development Update, Feb 2024

Hello everyone, and happy belated Valentine's Day! Will took a moment of his time to make everyone a very special Valentine.

Darn it, Will.

The Writing Desk

I am moving into Will Chapter 2!  These first couple months of Will route development have been challenged by some unavoidable IRL issues, but those are all cleared up now and I am devoting the rest of February and March fully to writing Will's route.

Chapter 1, as predicted, will be around 20,000 words. I still have one more Chapter 1 scene to finish, but it's a big action scene, and those tend to take me forever as I figure out all the logistics. I decided that rather than delaying the rest of the adventure, I'll slowly add to that action scene while writing Chapter 2.

Will Preview Video:

In case you missed it, we created a preview stream featuring the beginning of Will's route for the Steam Storyteller's Festival in early February.  Here it is!

Art Roundup

Some backers have been curious as to the completion status of our art, so here's the roundup:

Sprites and CGs (Arrapso)

All main character sprites are complete, save for a ??? variant sprite that will only be seen in the DLC.

We have 3.5 major NPC sprites yet to be completed: Hugh, leader of the Grey Wolves (backer sprite); Issa, Lord Geoffrey's cousin in from Nibiru (backer sprite); Kafeel, leader of Nottingham's Sunjati Merchant association and Will's friend; and the final version of Thomas, a character who is only seen in Alanna's route. I will need Kafeel for Will's EA release and am hoping to have Hugh and Issa for it as well, although they are more important on the Nottingham side.

After those are complete, Arrapso's main job will be CGs. I have ordered 4/5 Will CGs and am still deciding on the design for the final one. We also still need to design the backer wallpapers (which will be available in PC and phone formats).

Backgrounds & Creature Sprites (Sandra)

Backgrounds are almost entirely finished. I have one more major background to commission and then it'll just be the occasional variation as needed or maaaaybe one or two more major backgrounds later on to add more variation to the Nottingham Town exteriors.

All major creature sprites are complete.  I may commission one of Geoff's beloved hunting hounds during his route, but haven't decided yet. Meissa's bird friend will likely be a cut-in like our messenger doves.

Lore Intro and Cut-Ins (Lawrichai)

Lawri has been having some IRL challenges but should be back with us soon. Her main jobs right now are sexy silhouettes and the lore intro animation. We may be transforming the lore intro graphics into a full .webm animation instead of using Ren'py's built in Animation and Transition Language, as this might actually be easier for Lawri, as well as looking a lot smoother and making me pound my head against my desk less. It's a win/win/win! We'll have more on this next time.

Otherwise, Lawri's work is ongoing depending on budget and how much she is able to complete from route to route (I can always add in more cut-ins, but for now we're focusing on more critical ones as we have time after the sexy sils are complete per route).

So that's where we are with art right now!  We're in pretty good shape overall, there just might need to be some more intense art production while I complete the second half of Will's script.

See you next month!

[zoroara]

Okay you know what I wanna share another type of interaction analysis, I did this yesterday but got nervous. Anyway It's about Squalo's loyalty and then lead into just noting the reactions of Squalo being harmed by Xanxus, when and why they happen. This is how my rambling works Idk why, though the first half is definitely more interpretation the part where I get into the harming is more direct analysis. Short note: It's actually used really sparingly only really once an arc but at specific key moments. but the longer one will be below.

Squalo's intense loyalty is just an inherent trait to squalo I think it's very interesting to make it sheer willpower and drive that Squalo does most of his things, he's shown to be incredibly motivated to anything he puts his time into, to an overzealous degree. I really do think he was simply Impressed by Xanxus' ambition, strength as well as his wrath as Squalo himself claims, and wanted to see where it would go, as it presented many opportunities to improve himself further which it kind of has. He's also eternally focused on many causes, such as wanting Yamamoto to be at his best so they can fight again and he can win. He literally hates being in the same room as Yamamoto, gets pissed off at Yamamoto's light treatment of something he devoted his life to, yet just for his goals he spent an entire week alone in the forest with the kid JUST to make sure he could be ready to fight Genkishi again and take back that loss. Not only that shown to be loyal to the vongola, protecting them twice in future arc, trying to stop shimon, so on, he's an very intense and despicable man, but the things he chooses to be important to him are what he will devote himself to, no matter the cost to himself It's more to me that Squalo is willing to suffer through things to get what he wants one way, or another. So Squalo allowing Xanxus to take the leader spot isn't an act of submission to Xanxus. But he saw it beneficial to what his own wants were. it should be noted the fact that Squalo only ever really takes being harmed in the present but when then that's only because the scene moves far too much for him to stay focused and mad at Xanxus usually be interrupted by things by everyone literally having to haul ass somewhere, and when given the chance to do so in the future he has to be held back by Luss. The man is READY to at least give Xanxus what for, just more important things prevent him to doing such because unlike a good amount of other varia members, he very much focuses on what objective is most important at the moment.

Squalo's VERY first instance of being harmed is when he failed with the rings, and it's immediately "okay we need to move fucking NOW", It's not that squalo just accepts it, he just needs to move right away. plus this one specifically Squalo realizes that he failed, so of course he's a little more stunned than he usually is when it happens. he didn't KNOW and has to process he was also TRICKED.

The next, is the whiskey scene, however, in the manga it cuts off before we see any resolution, clearly more of an egg on, and we do not know Squalo's reaction after this, and honestly I would not be surprised if he kicked the shit out of xanxus. But also in this scene, both times in Varia arc Xanxus does have a clear reason for his actions. One was punishment for failure, and one was because Squalo was literally insulting him and what he was doing.

This was however changed to Squalo leaving the scene in the anime, leaving a different feel to this. Which is honestly a really good way to show how a small change can lead to a very different feeling in a scene. Because the anime version makes it seem like Squalo accepts this treatment. In the manga by having it hold on both of their eyes, the tenseness never relieves itself and makes it seem like they are prepared to clash instead. Emphasizing the next thing Dino said.

The ONLY time Squalo has time to react to this and isn't in the middle of something, is only in future that we get to see the after in the manga, and then there's someone to actually hold him back. which feels more consistent to the manga version of after the alcohol gets thrown at him. and he's ready to beat the shit out of xanxus(maybe he learned after the previous time not to throw shit at Squalo while they're alone.)

then, the last and final example, he is once again distracted because this happens in the middle of the hibari/fon fight in rainbow so he needs to focus immediately after it happens, with Mammon's little petty complaints against fon(A majority of panels being flashback panels so it feels like it takes longer) only in the middle of these two things in real time.

It's used very sparingly, usually when the viewer least expects it for emphasis which is why it sticks out so much in our minds. But not only that, there's usually some things that influence Xanxus' when and why for doing this.

As already stated, the TIMES Xanxus actually does this are usually chosen in the sense that a good 90% of the time, Squalo actually has his hands tied and can't retaliate at all, either by virture of other people being there, OR by virtue of something far more important happening there was only ONE time where it was just them But one of the most consistent reasons is that Xanxus is doing this to literally knock him down a peg(and then it doesn't work) it's not a good reason but it's still notable as a reason.

First one he's literally saying he deserves a reward for his work(without knowing he failed). Second he was telling Xanxus this was a waste of time and that he was going to win. Third he was asking if the vongola kids manages to survive and saying how they would have to help them. Fourth he literally was talking shit to hibari and Fon on how easy to beat them it would be. Xanxus is narratively used to bite down when Squalo's pride goes too far. But Squalo FAR from accepts this treatment.

Additionally, if you're choosing to count gags and such, Squalo isn't actually the only target to it. There are ones where they complain that Xanxus does this with all of them and he even blows up the whole castle because they were all annoying him. So when it comes to jokes there's more of an equality about it, just Xanxus is generally violent. Though! Even then I've noticed that he's only explicitly that violent when it won't backfire against him in non-gag scenarios. His rage is a little more tempered when you look at him, it's just when he knows it's not going to be an issue it's at 100. Xanxus is a lot more logical than even I initially realized but that's a different post.

[fatalism-and-villainy]

CHIYOH: I met the beast and I saw him grow. Someone wants to kill him. BEDELIA DU MAURIER: More than one someone, I'd say. (then) What do you want? CHIYOH: I want to cage him. That makes Bedelia smile. BEDELIA DU MAURIER: I thought Will Graham was Hannibal's biggest mistake. But I have to wonder if it isn't you.

This is interesting, if underdeveloped in canon, because it’s another parallel between Will and Chiyoh vis a vis Hannibal - in this case, Bedelia attempting to take Hannibal’s influence of them and turn it back against Hannibal. This manifests much more fully in the second half of season 3, when she tries to push Will into recognizing the extent of Hannibal’s influence on him and turn against Hannibal. She tells him that Hannibal “convinced you you’re a killer” but that she doesn’t believe that he is, only that he is “capable of righteous violence” out of compassion. And of course she wants Will to crush someone instead of helping them, which certainly feels as though she’s inciting Will into violence against Hannibal.

The idea of Will as Hannibal’s “biggest mistake” here indicates that her view of Will as a potential catalyst for Hannibal’s destruction was already in place here, which is also evidenced by her dialogue in Contorno about Will and Hannibal lying in wait to kill each other. But here she also seems to pinpoint Chiyoh as a potential means of quelling Hannibal - another murder protégé of Hannibal’s where the approach didn’t quite take. (In Chiyoh’s case, this is fairly true, because she never followed through on the murder that Hannibal set her up for until Will came along.)

But Bedelia ultimately turns out to be wrong about Chiyoh, who decides not to go through with caging Hannibal. And she’s also wrong about Will, at least in terms of his ability to turn against Hannibal. She realizes this by the end of season 3 - that Will is Hannibal’s “agency in the world.”

There are some interesting fluctuating character dynamics at play here, because in the scene in Dolce, Chiyoh compares herself and Bedelia to Hannibal’s “birds” - birds that Hannibal is trying to neither crush nor rehabilitate, but cage and observe. Bedelia later casts herself as the arbiter of a hypothetical bird’s fate, the one with power, and implicitly casts Hannibal as a wounded bird who can either be saved or destroyed. And while Bedelia, like Will and Chiyoh, is herself a subject of Hannibal’s influence, she also tries to exert a similar influence over Will and Chiyoh in trying to turn them against Hannibal. Indeed, encouraging others to action seems to be Bedelia’s primary method of protecting herself against Hannibal, as opposed to trying to kill him herself. When Will asks her why she didn’t just kill Hannibal in Florence in 3.10, Bedelia evades the question and steers the conversation back towards the intensity of the bond between Will and Hannibal (“my relationship with Hannibal is not as passionate as yours”). She seems unwilling or unable to go through with the act herself, perhaps both because of her “devotion” to him in Florence and because of the horror that violence seems to stir up in her, even as it compels her.

But although she seems to be aiming for Hannibal’s attempts at influence to backfire on him, her acting indirectly through influence actually backfires on her instead, at least in the case of Will - which we all know from the leg scene at the end of Wrath of the Lamb. And while the Chiyoh angle is woefully underexplored in the show itself, this is why I maintain that it would be thematically appropriate if Chiyoh also had some role in the capture of Bedelia there.

[animeyanderelover]

Could you make Yandere Holy Knights(Gilthunder, Griamore, Howzer, Hendrickson, Guila, Jericho, Zaratras, Dreyfus and Gustaf)?

I already did Gilthunder in previous Hc's. Also, some Holy Knights didn't have that much screen time so my characterization of them might be a bit off.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, clinginess, obsession, delusion, manipulation, controlling behavior, protective behavior, stalking, threats, death

Yandere Holy Knights Hc's

Griamore

🛡️Griamore is down quite bad for his darling, as loyal and devoted as a man can be with the person he loves. There’s unfortunately one big obstacle and that is the fact that he is unable to express his adoration as he’s weak with his words. Just imagine a giant of a man feeling so shy and embarrassed in front of you to the point where his thoughts just jumble together into a mix of nonsense which he blurs out then, earning a confused glance from you. His movements get all awkward and stiff too, he’s bumped into objects and people around you and has only made a fool out of himself even more in front of you. It’s gotten so bad to the point where he’s too anxious to meet you, horrified to make a clown out of himself even more. Griamore has in fact attempted to stalk you one or two times but sadly a man with a built like his is simply not suited to serve as a stealthy stalker as he’s always spotted by you as soon as you turn around. The man is probably half-delusional as he belongs into the sort that justifies more violent and morally wrong actions.

🛡️The half-delusional side probably steams from Griamore’s overprotective side. His strong sense of loyalty and devotion obviously has awoken the strong urge inside of him to protect you as it has become his most important duty. He can get very aggressive if something threatens your well-being, be it mental or physical. With his inability to tell you how he feels, he tends to get a bit depressed as you might mistake his awkwardness and shyness as him disliking you, if you aren’t already slightly intimidated by his sheer built alone. To still express his fondness and adoration somehow, Griamore has resorted to gifting you secretly things as it is one of his main ways to express his love. You receive wildflowers, jewels and even things he has knitted himself. It he sees you wearing anything he has made for you, he feels like fainting out of happiness.

🛡️It’s probably not his intention to make your counterpart uncomfortable but by god, does he still do it. Oftentimes they just catch him staring at them with a conflicted look on his face, jaw clenched and in his eyes a glimmer reminding of a sulking puppy. He just stares and stares though until you take notice of Griamore in which case his eyes automatically snap somewhere else, blood rushing to his face. Considering that Griamore is incredibly tall and muscular, almost anyone would be a bit intimidated if he would ever approach you and tower over whoever elicits again and again this uncomfortable feeling deep inside the pit of his stomach. He is sultry and unhappy until he either gets over it or his s/o somehow soothes him by reassuring him. Even if they aren’t in a relationship at that point, Griamore would still feel better in the end if you would reassure him.

🛡️I feel like Griamore would fit the classic Yandere very well in the sense that he’s very shy and careful around you but can get very aggressive and ruthless around others, specifically when your health is on the line. Even without his magic he is very strong if we’re just counting physical strength alone, he’s definitely able to murder someone with one heavy punch alone. Under normal circumstances he is sane enough to know that he should be careful because you’d be frightened of him if you would witness such a violent scene in front of your eyes. If worst comes to worst though and he knows that you’re in troubles, he loses his mind just a bit though and might focus more on getting rid of the source of harm. On the self-sacrificing side too, he shields you with his own body to save you from any blow although luckily his body is very tough and his magic allows him to create a barrier around his own body.

🛡️Considering that he can create very strong magical barriers, I definitely see him using his magic to trap you inside one if something happens and he snaps. Whilst that mostly counts for any case where your life is in danger and he wants to protect you, he could use it just as well in a case where you try to leave him or distance yourself from him and he’s reached the end of his patience. The chance of an abduction is likely in case he’s triggered, most likely the case if either your life is in danger or you ignore him and attempt to leave him, a devastating scenario even if you weren’t even his lover before. Griamore knows that he has to keep an eye on you after abduction though because even he might get in troubles if someone would find out.

🛡️Being around you is like walking on eggshells for Griamore as he does not want to embarrass himself nor displease you in any way. Most of the time he is a very tame choice of a Yandere to have though although he is clumsy to verbally express his adoration, you might even hear him stuttering. Physical affection is kept to a minimum for a while as he’s incredibly flustered with the thought at first so he sticks with gift-giving in the beginning and protecting you. Since he’s so tall and strong though, with time he grows very fond of the idea to give you a piggy back or to carry you around. It’s hard to truly anger him and he’s against the idea of hurting you yet if you do manage to displease him, Griamore does try to act strict so you know that you shouldn’t overstep any boundaries and try to fool him. His facial expression grows cold in such a case and whilst he wouldn’t dare hurt you, he will use his physique to his advantage.

Howzer

🌪️Despite Howzer's somewhat stupid and naive antics at times, it should be a mutual realization for both him and his comrades that he feels very attracted to his darling. A rather easy-going and quite optimistic individual, Howzer likes to focus on the positive instead of focusing on the negative. The same can most likely be applied to how he views the relationship between you two, or the one he hopes to have with you. He likes to only focus on the good parts instead of the bad ones and that mindset alone already classifies him as a more delusional person. Everything you might have a problem with when it comes to him or the way he behaves around you, he tries to make you dismiss by appeasing you. Let's just focus on the good stuff instead!

🌪️On a more protective side of things although it isn't that escalated as it is in some other cases. I'd feel like after the incident with Holy Knights consuming Demon blood to get stronger though and after realizing that Gilthunder was suffering because his lover had been imprisoned, Howzer harbors some sort of regret and guilt because he didn't know. That lingering feeling occasionally dwells up inside of him and leads him to acting more protective. Sure, when it comes to you having a problem with him, he'll brush it off. If it's you having a problem with something or someone else though, it's an entirely new story. He isn't necessarily as manipulative as some other characters are but if it ever comes to a discussion because you tend to have a problem with him, he will try to avoid discussing the topic any further and change the subject, doing his best to keep your mind occupied with something else and make you forget about the stupid argument.

🌪️He demonstrates a lot of self-confidence most of the time although I do think if he isn't officially your lover at that time, he has a small complex. He's never been necessarily popular with women before and even if his darling is no women, he tends to feel a bit worried that he's unpopular with them as well. Howzer is a small pain in the ass when he's jealous though as he can't stop himself from inserting himself into every interaction and trying to gain your attention somehow. That is in case you aren't his darling at the time. If you are, he's more smug although still very annoying as he basically flaunts into everyone's face that you're his s/o, emphasizing his point by throwing an arm around your shoulder or grabbing you by your waist and pulling you closer.

🌪️It's been shown that Howzer is a bit of a fight enthusiast, at least when it comes to tournaments. He's also a bit proud of the fact that he is a Holy Knight and can use his powers very good so he does act a bit like a show-off at times around you, especially during a tournament. Looking on how he is rathe laid-back most of the time, Howzer isn't someone who is very impulsive nor feels the constant need to act rather violent around others. He limits serious fighting for the amount someone actually poses a serious threat to his darling or their relationship with him. Even then it's important to mention that in most cases he will give a good and serious warning.

🌪️He brings the aspect of living together up at one point, obviously he would like to share a home with you at one point. He's usually very respectful though so if his darling asks for some more time, he will give it to them. If his wish to live together with you grows bigger, Howzer probably resorts to being more clingy as he wants to spend more time with you. It never escalates to something serious but it can definitely get a bit annoying for you as he is up your arse as soon as you two see each other. Now, obviously the Holy Knight stays on the optimistic side of things so he still keeps hope that you will agree one day. An abduction is a delicate topic to even consider after all and most likely a bigger option if his delusion and with that his optimism is somehow shattered by you.

🌪️He likes to drink, especially after work, and every time he manages to drink a few bottles too much, he always comes stumbling to your house. He's just extremely annoying and tiring when he's in a drunken state as he essentially just clings to your side and makes constant demands. Those demands mainly include getting your attention and your affection and he doesn't stop until you've given in only to make the next request seconds after. Luckily he's a fast sleeper. Considering that this is the first time for him in a relationship, Howzer doesn't know at times how to deal with you and that is most likely a main focus if you do get into an argument with him.

Hendrickson

🔷As an experienced Holy Knight, expectations would probably be that Hendrickson would be quite level-headed and calm in his approach for his s/o yet reality often doesn't match expectations. He's never had any partner in his life before nor is he experienced in the art of courting so Hendrickson is actually rather shy and careful when in your presence. He gets easily flustered when his darling shoots him a smile and stiffens up the moment they decide to engage in a conversation with him. More than often he just stands at a decent distance and stares at you, at times follows you around and stalks you a bit. Obsessive and protective would be good words although in his case they're taken in a more harmless context as he's just for the first time in his life in love with someone. Dreyfus often teases him for it.

🔷That is if we're talking before the murder of Zaratras or after he has been freed from the corruption of darkness. If we're still talking about the days where he was his most ruthless self, things would look very much different for you. Hendrickson is in this case far more possessive, manipulative and very controlling. You're rarely allowed to leave the house without him or his permission and if you do leave without him, you need to inform him exactly where you plan to go and have to be back at a certain time. Darkness and the more twisted love of his are somewhat obvious for you even if Hendrickson isn't openly violent nor shares his plans with you. In fact he does his best to keep the image of a happy relationship and a happy marriage in tact but he's not above slightly threatening you, your social standing or even your family if you ever try to leave the suffocating relationship.

🔷Jealousy before his corruption is as awkward as it is uncomfortable for Hendrickson as he does not know by all means how he should act, only knows that he doesn't like seeing the events unfolding in front of his own eyes. At the same time he's fearful of angering you by trying to join your little discussion with your companion. After the encounter with Fraudrin, jealousy is not as much a problem for him as his possessive streak is. He expects his s/o to know that they belong to him and expects from others to know that they shouldn't even jokingly suggest anything to you. In this case going against him is just scary as he is anything but friendly to the other person and you just know that you'll get scolded from him later on too. Forbidding you to meet someone is very common during those days if you don't know how to behave yourself around others and vice versa.

🔷In a normal state of mind, killing would be the last solution if nothing else can be done. Although a young Hendrickson is still quite inexperienced and an post-corruption Hendrickson has taken too many lives to feel confident to kill once more. A prime of his killing counts is obviously during the days where he's possessed and is ruthless, cruel and even sadistic with his enemies. Everyone who gets in the way of his plans or in the way of his relationship with you will either be thrown into prison or set up with passing time. He's unforgiving and even the pleads of his darling won't do any good as he's cold to punish everyone who doesn't know better.

🔷An abduction is likely after he's murdered Zaratras and has gone down the path of corruption, although he attempts the more indirect path at first via manipulation. A marriage is always a good way to live together with someone and additionally a ring on your finger and the knowledge that he's your husband would be a very excellent way of telling others that they shouldn't try anything and you shouldn't either. This can admittedly also include subtle threats from him to you to speed up the process. Hendrickson is after marriage not afraid to lock you away in your shared house, forbid you to leave it so you can only wait at home for him. If you ever try to escape or, worst scenario, find out about his plans and how he was the one who framed the Seven Sins back then, you can expect to be imprisoned in the house for good with some loyal Holy Knights guarding you when he has to continue his schemes.

🔷If you've known him for a long time already, you've seen Hendrickson change more than just once. You get to know him as a shy man who can't look you straight into the eyes, see how he transforms into a cold, possessive and manipulative Holy Knight who pushes you into a marriage with him and doesn't allow you to leave him to a matured man full of regrets after his mind has been set free. There's a lot of conflicting feelings inside of you even after you've found out the truth from all those years agao that led to his rapid change as Hendrickson decides to tell you the truth you deserve. A part of his young self has returned to him though as you find him getting flustered when you get too close or spacing out whilst looking at you.

Dreyfus

🟣Dreyfus is with his overall behavior around his darling much more dignified than Hendrickson would be even with Fraudrin using him as his vessel,a testament to the strength of his obsession. The urge of protective and possessive feelings bleed through even when Fraudrin has full control over his body as Dreyfus has already lost his first wife Anna in an attack. Despite those emotions, Dreyfus does stay away from his darling a lot more than he is comfortable with and that is both his and Fraudrin's decision. For the demon who controls his body, you're a nuisance who always manages to throw the Holy Knight's feelings into a turmoil and giving him by extension troubles to keep Dreyfus down and Dreyfus wants to avoid you percisely because he has no real control over his own body during that time. Whilst he is more dignified and respectful, it's still hard for you to get close to him as he draws a clear line, for your own protection at that time.

🟣It's around the time where he believes that his son has died that Dreyfus shatters and loses some of his determination to keep you away from him. He grows paranoid as he believes that he has lost now not only his first wife but also his son, the last reminder she had of him. It's that certain paranoia that causes his possessive and protective side to suddenly increase tenfold to the point where even Deyfus struggles against his willpower. The man all of a sudden has lower Holy Knights looking after you and reporting on your activities, you find him approaching you in public more often as he insists on accompanying you around the city when he finds the time to do so. Even if it is all done under his paranoid mindset, it's undeniable that Dreyfus is very diligent in his task to keep a watchful eye out for you.

🟣Jealousy is a tricky topic to tackle for him as Dreyfus has his own pride and would hate to give in to such pity feelings. Jealousy can't be helped though, even if he knows that he's the one avoiding you for your own protection since he knows that Fraudrin dislikes you. His face hardens when he catches someone else with you though, someone you seem to be very open with. That prickly emotion inside his chest tainting his thoughts to do about just anything to separate them from you is almost unbearable yet he just stares for a good while, an intimidating look decorating his face. You might be a bit startled when he the Holy Knight suddenly approaches you and greets you, throwing the person with you a harsh glare as he starts a small conversation with you whilst not missing out on constantly glaring at the other person.

🟣Without Fraudrin, Dreyfus would surely be a bit more forgiving. He'd still be someone who would punish someone if they were to hurt you in any way, shape or form but it's worse when Fraudrin is possessing his body. He's far more ruthless and cold-hearted, not hesitant to kill someone if they pose a threat to you somehow. With him being a vessel for Fraudrin, there's the genuine danger that he might start mistaking his own darker moments and feelings when his obsession escalates as something that the demon inside of him triggers. I doubt that he uses it as a constant excuse to justify lives he takes for you since Dreyfus is on the more lucid spectrum but it probably happens a few times that he does use the demon as a scapegoat to make peace with what crime he has committed.

🟣I'd say that after Griamore's death, a time where he is emotionally devastated and broken, would be a potential trigger phase for him where you might get kidnapped by him. He's after all in the belief that he has lost all the people he has loved and now only you remain. He can't lose you too. There's a small part of his consciousness that still tells him that it's wrong but it is weak compared to the sorrow and the fear poisoning his mind and heart after hearing the news of his son's death. You, who were for the most part not aware of his feelings for you, are for that reason all the more terrified when he abducts you and locks you away one day. Maybe it's because Dreyfus is still able to understand your feelings that he's so calm and tries to put your mind at ease, although that is hard given the circumstances you're in.

🟣You become a weak point for Dreyfus as he crumbles under the aspect of your life being in danger. Chances are that Fraudrin, who has possessed his body for so many years, gets partially infected with this obsession as well just as much as he also feels an attachment to Grimamore, the son of Dreyfus. After Fraudrin is killed and Dreyfus has full control over his body back, he feels more secure when approaching you. That is if he hasn't done anything possibly traumatizing to you during the time where Fraudrin still existed within him. He's still rather strict and possessive with you at times but it's less intense now that he's trying to atone for the sins he has done. Most of the times at least.

Guila

💥Guila is already very dedicated when it comes to her younger brother Zeal just as much when it comes to her position as a knight so you could say the same counts when she happens to fall very badly in love with her darling. She's very dedicated. So much to the point where her normally calm demeanor crumbles with the amount of times you float around in her head. Guila is the obsessed type who is likely to memorize about everything and anything she can find out about her darling and she most likely has a diary hidden somewhere in her room, pages filled with all information she has gathered or simple rantings of how adorable you are. She really is immersed in you as discovering more about you becomes a fatal hobby of hers to the point where she threatens others around you mildly with an unsettling smile to fill her in on you. Around you, Guila keeps her sweet facade though.

💥She appears most of the time confident to the point where people genuinely believe that she's just that sure that she can court you and end up being your partner. The woman herself feels for a large part the same although this dips more into the delusional side of her than in her confident one. In reality she has deluded herself precisely because she just isn't that confident as she may look like. Additionally she isn't patient and if she wouldn't tell herself that the both of you will end up together at some point in time, she'd probably burst and do something terrible. Her impatience can show at times in which case she reveals the uglier side of herself, even to you at times. That luckily isn't a common occurrence though as she manages to keep her sweet facade up when around you. She isn't trying as hard around others though as she has less problems threatening people around you.

💥Considering that she is more inscure, jealousy is prone to hit her multiple times for the silliest reasons but feelings have rarely been something that can be tamed with logic. It truly is a hideous emotion that causes her stomach to twist and her blood to boil as she is pushed to the limits of her self-control to not lose her temper whilst you're still there as it's so important for her that you perceive her in a positive light. A twisted smile that just screams fake and stiff body movements, fist clenching and unclenching whilst she considers drawing her rapier yet doing her best to hold back. Her feelings have to be let out in some form though and even if she might not burst in front of you, she'll definitely cause a small rampage somewhere else to gain a little bit sanity back, or at least the semblance of it.

💥Guila dabbles in threats and violence here and there for numerous reasons that really only classify her more as a hopeless case. Her insecurities whether or not she can even charm you might not be acknowledged by her consciousness, but subconsciously those feelings definitely drive her possessive side up a bit higher and do tend to make her just act a tad bit unhinged. Her smile is one of the scariest things, this closed-eyed smile and the sweet facade she keeps up even whilst cornering and threatening someone before everything is dropped and an utterly disgusted look crosses her face. Long story in short, Guila isn't afraid to dirty her hands with blood here and there if it guarantees that she can be with the one person she loves the most.

💥Continuing her all so sweet act whilst still believing in her delusional hopes, you'd be surprised to find out that the Holy Knight has less qualms to be a bit more forceful to convince you. That already starts with the way she seems to worm her way into your daily life, whether you want her there or not. Guila is at one point just always there, visits the same shops as you and even actively waits for you outside only to run into you then and tag along. She often invits you over to her house too and you have not the heart to say no to her as she looks so excited. It's not like she gives you a chance either to reject her offer. I fear she's ready to use more extreme methods to have you permanently stay in her house, that might include certain accidents that make your own house for a while uninhabitable.

💥I can see her either trying to hide her darker side from her younger brother due to the last bit of awareness she has left inside of her or trying to justify everything to him and make him believe that this is still all normal. She picks up the passion of cooking and baking as soon as she starts gaining such strong emotions her you since she makes you come over to visit her so much and insists that you stay for lunch or dinner. Hearing you complimenting her food makes her heart flutter. Honestly, she's quite the two-faced person as she tends to be sweeter and to an extent even bashful around you yet keeps her calm and cold-hearted behavior around everyone who isn't you as she has little to no problems threatening them too.

Jericho

🟪Jericho is more of a Tsundere when it comes to her feelings and a rather proud individual so you can't expect a confession from her any time soon. No, she would like to keep her face and that is quite difficult when she finds herself around you as her brain basically just stops functioning and a blush is constantly covering her cheeks. So the young woman is doing her best to stay out of your way for a while as she'd be way too embarrassed to face you whilst acting like an idiot. Especially since she's a woman and aspires to be Holy Knight, something that isn't as common in the kingdom nor fully accepted. Due to her being a female Holy Knight, Jericho tends to suffer from low self-esteem at times which unconsciously serves as another reason why she's for a while so keen to avoid you. The purple-haired girl ends up being a stalker, something that still fills her with shame but it's more bearable than making a clown out of herself when around you.

🟪She's protective of her darling and her low confidence in herself at times kind of influences that urge of hers. Jericho wants to prove herself to you as much as to herself so she's taken the responsibility to keep you safe. It wouldn't be all that bad if she wouldn't be so zealous with this task which leads to her acting very overbearing at times, all in an attempt to show you what she can do for you. The girl is more possessive in certain moments too an that all is also partially influenced by her not so good view on herself at times. Even if she strays away from you for a long while, it's also safe to say that she won't let anyone else get closer to you during that time where she's just stalking you. She knows that this is quite low of her and that this probably goes against the ideals of a Holy Knight but seeing you smiling with someone else has to be one of the worst feelings ever.

🟪Similiar to Guila, Jericho is also quite open to experience jealousy thanks to her self-esteem not being as good at times despite her confident act. Differently from her fellow female knight, Jericho won't have the courage to step out of her spot at most moments. Instead she can only clench her fists and her jaw and glare daggers at whoever is the victim of her brooding jealousy in that moment. Watching you two is unbearable for her after a while and in most cases she just finds herself leaving you two with quick steps. She doesn't want to interrupt, doesn't want to cause a scene and give you the wrong impression about her but she surely will search for your partner and have a talk with them.

🟪She's brash and rude but luckily she's more barking than biting. Her possessive side leads her at times to tracking someone down and threatening and intimidating them but Jericho would rarely pick up a weapon or use her magic to injure someone seriously. She tries to not harm innocent people and hopes that her warnings will be enough to stop someone from getting any closer to you. Her hesitation to damage someone more than that gradually fades away as she grows older and gains more experience with her abilities though which does mean that she is far more stern and strict if someone doesn't head her warning.

🟪Secretly fawning over the thought of living together with you, on the outside keeping it tough and playing it off as good as she can. A domestic life with her darling sounds very enchanting, all the more since it would mean that she can protect you better. That would require her suggesting the idea to you though and before that she would have to be in a relationship with you too. Both are things that Jericho struggles with for a longer while. Differently from Guila though, Jericho is a honest soul so she wouldn't want to resort to any cheap methods to have you under the same roof as her. It would be far more rewarding if you'd feel the same as her.

🟪After drinking the demon blood, Jericho is for a while overly possessive and even quite controlling when it comes to you as this marks the darker phase for her but after she's been freed from it, she starts maturing. She slowly attempts to interact normally with you and not stalk you, gives you a chance to know her better. You don't have to know that she already knows quite a bit about you due to all of the times where she was just casually stalking you. I'd say she's quite tame overall even if she's at times just a tad bit more possessive over you. She still likes to play the tough woman and still acts overall very boyish around you but she finds herself growing more comfortable to be girlish with you at times.

Gustaf

🌨️ Gustaf is delusional and his delusion makes him quite confident when it comes to approaching and courting his lover since he basically sees them as his soulmate or something along the lines of destiny. Unfortunately that ultimately transforms him into a rather pestering and downright overbearing person at times since he won't leave you alone an won't listen nor believe you even when you reject him. Instead that only pushes him into believing that he knows something that you don't know just yet, otherwise you'd surely feel the same way about him. So there might just be something slightly condescending about the way he treats you since he thinks that he knows better and that you just don't know yet what's good for you.

🌨️ Protective and possessive and maybe just a tiny bit controlling over his darling. There's probably not much need to explain why. He's a Holy Knight confident in his skills and on top of that he also sees you as his soulmate so it should be fairly obvious why he would want to protect you and make sure that no one else tries anything with you whilst he's still working on courting you. The need to monitor you and your daily life a bit more than he should starts when he realizes that you probably don't know yet that fate has brought you two together so in his mind he's just stopping you from making a mistake you might regret later on.

🌨️ It's an uncomfortable topic to tackle, even for someone delusional like Gustaf. You can at least feel at ease knowing that he at the end of the day feels a bit more confident that even if you do get along with someone very nicely, you're still meant to be with him. So you might graciously call him forgiving when you make him jealous or someone else makes him jealous because he always tells himself that neither you nor that someone else are probably aware of the connection you have with him. Obviously Gustaf will still do something if the situation escalates, straighten up the misunderstanding and prevent you from doing a stupid mistake. That act of forgiveness is over the moment he has told someone that you two belong together though, that counts for you just as much as it counts for others.

🌨️ He's more of a risk than his younger sister is simply because Gustaf doesn't have that same hesitation as Jericho. He doesn't need to prevent to be tough simply because he's confident in his skills and in himself which makes him more threatening. Now, he does have his honor and he won't just injure and harm everyone as he only gets more violent if he perceives someone as a threat to your relationship with him or to your life. Most people who he thinks might try to interfere with his love story are often excused as not aware of the fate that ties him and his darling together, hence why he gives such people most of the time a warning, a reminder to not try to take what is meant to be his. The Holy Knight is not as forgiving when it comes to people who are out to harm you as he handles such threats much more brutally.

🌨️ He has a domestic life with his darling already envisioned and he is very fixated on making it happen as he sees this as only natural. Your own opinion and your own thoughts are dismissed in some shape or form as he once again pulls the "I know better than you" card to excuse any actions he might take. This is a guarantee that you might find yourself being forced in a situation where you have to live with him. Believe me, it will definitely happen if you deny him his request of living together for too long. Not like he would understand why you wouldn't want to live with him together as he could move in with you at any moment.

🌨️ Honestly, he does say that he respects you and your opinion but you only have to observe him for a bit to realize that he isn't speaking the truth. Whilst Gustaf might try, he ultimately fails to fully accept all of your wishes and your thoughts. He sees himself as your protector and he would like you to stay away from all sorts of fights and just let him handle the problems. This doesn't have to mean that he just thinks that you aren't strong but might rather come from his concern that you might get hurt. Gustaf wants his darling safe and sound, away from all harm so he tends to be very overprotective around his lover. He isn't the worst but the fact that he won't take you seriously if you don't feel the same as he does due to his delusional belief definitely makes him hard to handle as he's very stubborn.

Zaratras

🌩️ Upon first glance, Zaratras appears to be rather tough and serious, especially considering his reputation as the strongest knight in Liones who is even on par with the Seven Deadly Sins. Around his lover tough, Zaratras is almost a completely different person as he's soft, silly and very lovingly. He's probably a tad bit too obsessed with his darling as he deems it as very important that he knows about everything about them to give them as much happiness and treat them as best as possible. He also keeps everything you give him and treats it with utter care and whilst he doesn't have a shrine yet, Zaratras sees your gifts as lucky charms he has to polish and worship a bit.

🌩️ What starts as a lucid obsession for Zaratras in the beginning turns sooner or later into something that strays away from reality. Is he ultimately a tad bit delusional in his head? Most definitely. You see, the more this man gets to know you, the more he starts to think that he can't possibly love anyone as much as he can love you. Eventually this thought of his turns into genuine conviction that he won't be able to love anyone romantically besides you. From that moment on his eyes are only set on you and he goes actively out his way to court and spoil you. Luckily he isn't completely gone in his head though as he still knows that stealing things from you or forcing you into anything with him is still wrong and cares too much for you to harm you in any way such as this.

🌩️ Zaratras is unintentionally bound to startle people when he feels jealous but not because he tries to scare them or intimidate them. In fact he tries to stuff his swirling emotions down but the end result is that he stiffens up, his face goes all blank and that he can't help but stare rather intensely at you and whoever you're with at the moment. He feels sorry almost every time when he realizes that he has made you and your companion uncomfortable, apologizes multiple times to you. Jealousy triggers sadness inside of him though as it only becomes more obvious for him each time that he really can't love anyone besides you. At the same time it strengthens his determination to court you and become your lover.

🌩️ All his overemotional and silly behavior around you aside, there is a reason why he's hailed as the strongest Holy Knight in the whole kingdom of Liones and that shouldn't be forgotten. Zaratras is additionally very protective of his lover, only enhanced by the fact that his first wife was attacked and killed, and finds himself often making a fuss over the smallest things that either hurt you or sadden you in any way. He isn't the type to abuse his power nor his position as he's kind and refined but no one wants to make an enemy of him as it won't end well. If someone harms someone else, they should be prepared to get harmed as well, that's what Zaratras believes. So if he warns someone beforehand to not scheme anything to hurt his lover and they still do it, they should be fully aware that he will protect his darling and inflict serious damage.

🌩️ He's daydreaming about waking up in the morning with his darling in his arms and spending each day together with them under the same house and it makes him feel all fuzzy on the inside. At one point he's mentioning it nearly every day to his darling as well, observing how they react to the suggestion. I can't really see him forcing such a decision upon you though since your happiness and comfort are his priority. He's bound to turn stricter when he's in his position as a Holy Knight and has to adapt a more serious and tough side of his. This only happens when there's something dangerous going on that could harm you but in such cases Zaratras tends to startle his darling as he isn't the same silly and goofy man they normally know but fully immersed in his role as a Holy Knight of Liones in which case he won't listen to any protest from you as he is worried for your safety.

🌩️ He coddles his darling a lot since he hates seeing them sad and whilst the attention he gives them can be flattering, it can at times also be a bit smothering. If he knows that you are unhappy or unwell, Zaratras has a hard time leaving you alone which normally results in him being very clingy and staying with you. Gilthunder probably makes fun of him because Zaratras is very obviously trying his everything to impress you and to make himself look as good as possible when he's spending time with you. During Gilthunder's younger years he's often asking his darling to babysit for a bit, an excuse to have you coming over and to see you more frequently. It always warms his heart to see that his son and you get along so greatly.

[pianapplez]

Hello there 👋👀,

So I just found your blog and had a lot of fun scrolling through all the pjo show crit😂 I couldn't help but notice that one tag you left on a post where you said you had some beef with Annabeth's portrayal in the books 👀 Would you mind elaborating on that if you're comfortable with it🙈? Because I absolutely share that sentiment, but it's sooo veeeery rare that I see other people express anything like it... I've found that trying to be a part of the fandom can be pretty alienating most of the time, if you're not exactly the biggest most devoted Percabeth shipper...😅 And often any criticism leveled at Annabeth just gets you a smack with the "internalized-misogyny" hammer... it's even worse in the tv show now due to... obvious reasons...

Again just if you're comfortable with answering of course🙈 There is a reason I stayed on anon after all...😅😂

Really glad you asked because i finally get to ramble about this heheheh (going forward, know that i skimmed over The Last Olympian to have a clearer sense of what I meant because that's the book where Rick fumbles her character more than the others)

i'm gonna try to make as much sense as possible but short answer would be, she's underdeveloped. Long answer:

She really got on my nerves in the last two books, with the whole Rachel debacle and then the Battle of New York. I can't really remember a single moment in those books where she and Percy aren't bickering or having heated discussions, which really made me question their friendship status. Of course, it's not like friends can't fight and it obviously builds up the (romantic) tension between them, but it got unbearable at one point.

I understand she's a teenager in an incredibly stressful situation that didn't even get to have a normal upbringing- she grew up way too fast (run away at 7, head counselor at 12) while also not really maturing, which is not a problem for a character, if it is handled properly. Given the fact that I am writing this, Riordan did not.

On the surface, my biggest beef is that Annabeth is not exactly held accountable for her actions (ie. treating Rachel a bit like shit and going off on Percy for a bunch of stuff.) I know Percy is to blame a bit here: as far as we know, in TLO he basically cuts the greek world out of his life as much as he can as a coping mechanism. And while yes, he never apologizes either, he doesn't give her nearly half the hard time she gives him: always either giving him the cold shoulder (there must be at least one example of this in the entire series but i cant be bothered to look it up sorry) or starting an argument only to then storm off (see the "you're a coward, Percy Jackson!" scene, which is not the fairest example since she was confronting Percy about ignoring camp but also was a bit too harsh about it) (especially after finally reading the prophecy and being under the impression that he was absolutely going to die when he turned 16 lmao) or just straight up storming off (see, Annabeth reacting when Rachel shows up for the first time during the battle of new york). While most of these feel, at least to some degree, fairly justified given how the entire situation does an absolute number on her emotions, she comes off a bit brattish and like she's trying to rile Percy up, especially when it comes to Rachel, which in the context of a battle that could mean the destruction of the world.... Well, it reads as a bit childish to me, and i wouldn't exactly have that much of a problem with it if it was dealt with in some way (a two-way apology would be nice).

After that first impression, i realized that Annabeth is barely ever anything else other than a plot device (when relating to Luke) or a love interest (when relating to Percy). This might be because the books are on Percy's POV. Hell, on the third book he's even conflicted when Annabeth is considering joining the Hunters of Artemis, aka, when making a choice for herself would mean he loses her (which is fine and dandy but it feels like Percy is more upset about her choosing her own path rather than being sad about not seeing her as often); we really only get a few glimpses of her, as in, actually her when she's on her own.

Obviously it's impossible to talk about Annabeth without touching on percabeth, which also is, in my opinion, what hinders Annabeth's character the most. On paper they sound great. The guy whose fatal flaw is loyalty falls in love with a girl whose been let down by people over and over, and she decides to never give up on the boy whose always had people give up on him (can't find one of the million posts that talks about this right now but it always goes something like that) And yeah, the bickering is really well written! But that's literally as far as it ever goes: they don't ever seem to have fun together, because 8 times out of 10 the bickering ends up being passive aggressive, and mostly done by Annabeth. My biggest gripe about percabeth is that their friendship seems to be based off... shared trauma. Literally. Other than going on quests together we are given no examples of them hanging out, nor a reason why they would want to spend time together in the first place, not even a shared hobby. Yes, in the fourth book they had a movie "date" planned but of course they didn't even get to it, and surprise surprise, they had a minor discussion, and surprise surprise, Annabeth was passive aggressive again. It's hard to picture them having fun together when even the author doesn't write in any scenes in which they get along smoothly (and before you say anything, a scene in which they get along where neither of them is about to die, and they're not talking about previous adventures. Gets a bit hard then, doesn't it?) It's even harder to picture them as a couple when the moment she gets upset about something, she starts coming off as emotionally manipulative (see, again, literally any conversation with Rachel or about Rachel)

To be fair, the books are relatively short and don't allow many "filler" chapters, if you will; there's always something happening to keep the main plot or a minor plot point moving forward, but it's not like there is no room to develop the characters' relationships, especially when we're talking about the main char and what is essentially his endgame. As an example we have Percy and Clarisse, or Percy and Beckendorf. Their interactions are brief but still hold so much weight.

Worst of all, Annabeth could be one hell of a character; what's most interesting of all is how being a daughter of Athena she is still incredibly emotionally driven, which is displayed very clearly with her fatal flaw being pride: her telling the Sphynx that her questions were too easy was not smart nor strategic: it was completely impulsive. I seriously think she wasn't far from being the best character in the series had she been given more time.

I guess i have as much beef with Annabeth as i have with Rick for doing her dirty. I really could sum this up with: while her emotions are justified, she acts upon them quite poorly. And this is what i mean when i say she's underdeveloped, because it would've been nice to see her come to her senses a bit.

Would love to read anyone's opinions on her character though, feel free to comment, even (or especially) if you don't agree with me!

[some-stars]

so my sister is visiting this week and ofc with all four of us here there are a lot of Feelings in the air, and apparently the way i cope with that is to dive deep into my #1 comfort fandom & pairing of all time, which is, of course, dark angel and max/alec, who i will be shipping on my deathbed. the show isn't streaming anywhere and it's never going to be, it's buried in the disney vaults (it was on fox originally) and they're never ever ever going to let it out, but it was SO good and if there were any justice in the world i'd be allowed to see 2024 fandom's take on the greatest and most important OTP of all time ever.

if you have not watched the show and are wondering how a 2 season science fiction/action show from 2000 can possibly have given us the greatest pairing of All Time, you need to think about all the ~energy that jensen ackles brought to supernatural that made destiel the force that it became, and then picture him (8 years younger than s4 of spn) pouring all that energy into depicting how his secondary character was deeply, deeply in love with the heroine of the show, and TPTB had a clear mandate to keep her with her assigned love interest but several of the writers just as clearly shipped her with alec, who was demonstrably more interesting and better to and for her. and then in the middle of all that throw an early cancellation RIGHT after setting up max and alec as the leader & lieutenant of a mutant resistance movement, in a location where the assigned love interest literally couldn't go without dying (also he and max can't touch for sci-fi macguffin reasons and have just spent a miserable season pining after never even getting to fuck once). and alec is just doing that ackles-style Quiet Self-Abnegating Devotion the entire time. it's fucking LETHAL. i never stood a chance.

(also young jessica alba was not half bad as an actor herself! but she's definitely not the driving force behind the Energy between them in every single scene, although her and jensen do have fantastic chemistry)

anyway this is i think the saddest thing in my life, that there's never going to be a second dark angel renaissance (the first was after spn got big, ofc). and since it originally aired in 2000-2001, and then had a second burst of fandom popularity from like 2007-2010, there's not a lot on ao3 either. it's basically just my one fic, a whole blessed bunch of good stuff from victoria_p, and 4-5 other stories that are decent to good. and that's it. for the most beautiful important meaningful in love pairing of all time ever forever. life is not fair. anyway it is available on various illegal streaming sites and also secondhand DVDs and you should REALLY check it out, bc there are many other things to recommend it besides the world's best ship that i did not get into here. season one is objectively better but alec shows up in season two, so i recommend watching both. and then PLEASE come talk to me, i have ONE (1) friend who's into it and i'm dying.

[tavyliasin]

10 First lines challenge

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able to and see if there are any patterns!

Tagged by the ever wonderful @redroomroaving

I'll tag in...ahh this is hard I always forget people's usernames so I'm just searching the @'s here... @sweetmage @thylyre @laserlope @ineadhyn @hydropyro and anyone else who would like to - also if you would like to be tagged in for future writing tag games please let me know directly too and I'll make a proper list for a change! Anyway I'm going to take mine only from published works, not WIPs, and will put them all below the cut. I doubt the lines will be spicy, but the fics almost certainly will be~

Piercing storm-grey eyes regarded you quietly, assessing your distress in mere moments. From: Abdirak - Toothache Comfort (Collection of short "x Reader" pieces)

For a rare change of pace, it seemed like the sun was shining on the streets of Baldur’s Gate. From: ATG 16 - Bonded? Thrice (Astarion/Halsin/Tav threeway chapter of the longfic)

By the time they got back to camp, Gale was struggling not to double over. From: Weaving the Blood Moon (Bloodweave entry in my Red Moons of Faerun menstruation fic series)

Sleep did not come easily to Haarlep. From: The Nightmare, The Dream, and The Spaces Between (A chapter in the Raphael/Haarlep prequel longfic series, The Scent Of Cinnamon)

Several tendays passed by in a blur. From: The Dress, The Duck, and The Cambion's Patience (Another chapter of that longfic)

Lord Enver Gortash hissed a long sigh of frustration from between clenched teeth, leaning back on the edge of his desk the moment the last of the day’s guests left. From: Bloodlust and Bhaalists (The DurgeTash entry into the Red Moons of Faerun series)

Durge. That’s what she called him. From: Two Heads Are Better Than None (A Durge/Tav one shot, written for a prompt request)

Raphael walked down the corridors of the House of Hope, inspecting all the recent renovations. From: The House Of Hooooooooohno (A cursed little one shot which pairs Raphael with the House of Hope itself...?!)

“I don’t know about this,” Gale protested, even as he kept pace with the men either side of him, the three walking with arms linked at the elbow like old comrades. From: Between a Blade and a Sharp Place (A Gale/Astarion/Wyll threeway one shot)

The moon hung precisely half full in the sky as Abdirak smiled - Selune may not have been his goddess but like clockwork her light always heralded this particular devotion to the Maiden. From: Hymns of the Red Moon (The first in the Red Moon series, in which Abdirak spends a night of worship alone)

Analysis

This is a tough one. Ideally I would've like to take the first paragraph as a few of those are exceptionally short, especially compared to my averagely very long sentence.

The Longfic Chapters (ATG, Scent of Cinnamon) are lines that have an air of continuation to them, illustrating the change of time or mood within the character or setting with a short opener. The following lines in all 3 cases are far longer - it's like giving just a quick bite first then reeling in a much longer line. It's also not doing a lot of scene setting or action, as I tend to write chapters as scenarios so they have a building pace to them. Red Moon Series each open on a clear depiction of the focus character and how they're experiencing the moment. Abdirak is seeing the signs and finding the beauty in them as the torment of his body begins, whereas both Gale and Gortash are steeped in their frustration and agony from the beginning, desperate to end the day and just not have to deal with things any more. The other one shots almost all start immediately with a name, opening on our POV character and identifying them quickly, following with either a simple action, thought, or dialogue. The character comfort short assumes you know exactly who owns those eyes and aims to pull you in to the moment without the name, to set the scene swiftly for a much shorter piece. Overall I think it's hard to really narrow down any techniques I use for openers - I vary things depending on the piece, but only very rarely do I open on dialogue or dynamic action. Whilst I love those things as tropes and as a great way to start a story, I tend to prefer to walk through the door rather than taking a running start - which is likely partially why all my works end up running longer than I expected because my natural instinct is a building pace. I enjoy taking the time to build the tension, slowly pull on that elastic until you think it can't possibly stretch any further then- SNAP let it all go as the payoff reaches a sprinting pace, preferably with that time at the end to let things cool back down rather than sprinting into a dead end wall. I'm quite tempted to do this again with last lines but not today, far too tired for that! Again if you want to tag in and do this one, use me as your tag in! Or let me know and I can actively tag you in to this one or the next~

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

okay, so after seeing the full scene from the Blu-ray I actually hate it a lot less, because it seems pretty clear that Loki and Sylvie both had the same thought of playing the situation like they were still enemies, but then Ravonna showed up and suddenly Sylvie was slammed back into the mindset of that little girl getting her life ripped away from her. She wasn't genuinely upset until then.

on the other hand, I fucking hate the Frog Thor coronation scene with every fiber of my being capable of being devoted to things that don't actually matter, to the point that I would have had a hard time not ragequitting the entire show right then and there if they'd included it in the final cut and I'm having a hard time forgiving the fact that it was filmed, let alone released into the world as a deleted scene, and I really don't think even my usual obsessive desire to reconcile all parts of canon and most parts of almost-canon is going to help here

especially if any part of fandom starts acting like this is Just Canon Now as part of Thor and Loki's backstory. can't do it, y'all, this is a bridge too far for me, I will comprehensively lose my shit

(the whole point of what happened in the first Thor film is that Loki's actions came out of nowhere!! like the entire point!! I mean we can argue for a million years if the power-hungry bullshit and the blatant usurping and the peacocking demonstrate either a huge retconning or misrepresentation of his characterization in that film--they do, so of course that's my biggest objection, but it's also not the reason the scene makes no sense and cannot possibly be canon, and the reason is, nobody else in the movie would behave the same way if Loki had already made a credible (ridiculous, but still credible) and extremely public attempt to get rid of Thor and take the throne. Sif and the Warriors would be openly distrustful of him from the start instead of mostly dismissive and only later moving to distrust (can you imagine any of them letting Loki protect their backs or Thor's during the fight on Jotunheim if that stupid coronation scene really happened? really?), Odin would probably suspect Loki's involvement in the real interrupted coronation right away and punish him as well as Thor, and Thor in particular wouldn't keep blindly trusting him, which is why Loki is able to lie to him so well and why it hurts him so much to learn the truth.)

(I'll certainly accept as canon Loki turning Thor into a frog at some point and Thor smacking the shit out of him in revenge. I don't give a shit about that part. I mean, I already accepted half of that as canon because Loki wrote it into his stupid play in Ragnarok, so I figured it must have actually happened.)

[melishade]

Attack on Prime Alternative Scenes Part 4

Part 3

Now this is going to be a long one and I am going to hate it, because guess who we're talking about today!

Gabi!

Look, full disclaimer. I am neutral about Gabi in terms of how she was written in AOT. I get what Isayama was going for with her, but because we knew her for so little, or course many people were obviously going to get mad that she killed a long time fan favorite. Sure, we've spent time with Gabi, but not enough to care about her compared to the main AOT cast.

I did write one scene where Megatron's confrontation with her is much more violent which prompts her to reflect on his words:

Megatron felt his anger rise to a level he hadn’t felt since he was the leader of the Deceptions. He kicked Gabi hard in the stomach, causing her to fall to her knees and clutch her stomach in pain.

Reiner and Colt tried to interfere, but Megatron raised his hand in front of the both of them.

“She needs to learn,” Megatron hissed in an ominous tone.

“You!” Gabi hissed as she stood up, “You don’t know a damn thing about honor! About serving a country! I’ve worked hard to get to where I am, and you still treat me like I’m a child!”

“Because you are!” Megatron shot back, “At least Falco and Colt listen! You always make one impulsive decision after another without a care in the world! That type of stupid attitude is going to get you killed!”

“Then I’ll die as a hero!” Gabi shouted, “Unlike you, who runs away from everything like a coward!”

“Gabi!” Reiner yelled.

“You’ll die as a fool and a waste!” Megatron shouted.

“You don’t know!” Gabi shouted, “You run away and have the audacity to tell me that I’m a coward! You wouldn’t know sacrifice! Or honor! Or glory! You-!...you…,”

Gabi stopped when Megatron lifted up his shirt. Pieck gasped in horror while Reiner looked ready to throw up. Zeke grew tense while Porco took a step back. They all could see the jagged scar that was smacked dead center of the titan’s chest that ran down from the top of his chest to the bottom of his abdomen.

“Go on,” Megatron challenged, “What were you saying? It must be such an honor, right? To die a hero?”

Gabi didn’t open her mouth as Megatron let go of his shirt. “It’s easy to die a hero, but it’s harder to live with the consequences of the horrible things you’ve done. You are a soldier! Not a child! Yet you act like a fucking fool! An arrogant stain on Marley military! Stop acting like an idiot! The world is never as simple as you think! Grow up!”

Gabi jolted when Megatron threw the rifle to the ground and stormed off.

This scene was supposed to contribute to her character development later, but I changed it in order to make Megatron more calm when it came to confronting Gabi. Also, also, I was originally going to have her be the reason they were captured by enemy forces in the other alternate scene and have Megatron go berserk, but that got scrapped. Here's the scene though:

Gabi walked outside to see Matthew sitting on the bench, wrapping his arms in bandages. She tensed when she saw him without his shirt, seeing the huge scar on his back match the one on his front along with other multiple scars.

Gabi took a deep breath and walked up to the man. “Um…Matthew?”

Matthew stopped wrapping the bandages and looked behind him to see her. Gabi wanted to cry when he saw him glaring at her with such disdain.

“What do you want, brat?” Matthew demanded as he continued wrapping the bandages.

“I…I wanted to apologize,” Gabi began, “It…was because of me that we got captured. I was brash…and reckless…my friends were hurt…and you were hurt. It was because of me. I’m sorry.”

Matthew finished wrapping the bandages before grabbing his shirt. “I don’t want to hear your half-assed apologies. I want to see action, which you clearly haven’t been able to demonstrate since day one. I would’ve cut you out a long time ago, but your unbridled devotion is what’s keeping you here. And because none of your superiors know whose fault it was that caused your capture.”

Matthew placed the shirt over his head. “I would tell your superiors it was you, but that would cause you to be stripped of your rank and being turned into a titan along with your family at the next battle.”

“I deserve it,” Gabi said without hesitation, “I’m a devil.”

Matthew smacked Gabi in her head hard. The girl clutched her head in pain and glared at him.

“What’s your problem?!” she shouted.

“You’re an idiot; that’s your problem,” Matthew answered, “Because you believe your life has no worth, you’re completely and utterly reckless in your actions. Wanting to be the best and not caring how you get there. You think the world is simply black and white. If you kill this person, Marley recognizes you. Follow their orders, Marley rewards you. Sacrifice your lifespan, Marley gives you an ‘honorary title’. You believe that Marley will grant you freedom once you get the founding titan. That all the discrimination and hatred will go away over night. It doesn’t. The world is more complex than you will ever know, and if you keep looking through rose colored glasses, you won’t get very far.”

Matthew stood up. “Your actions will reflect badly on your score in becoming a titan shifter. You will have to work to earn my confidence that you won’t blow yourself up on the next battle. Prove to me that you can grow and learn, and not shove my teachings down the gutter. Do you understand?”

Still, writing her in AOP was going to be a problem because I had to redeem her without having Sasha killed off! Then I remembered that Arcee was there and I was writing her to get attached to the humans. Originally, she and Sasha were going to be partners but that didn't work out. And then Ymir is still the Jaws Titan, so...Falco has no use in the story. So he gets shot!

But instead of Falco being knocked into a coma, he was supposed to survive and have a confrontation with Megatron, before Sasha takes Falco to stay at her parent's place with Arcee to protect him:

Falco slowly blinked as he opened his eyes. He found himself looking up at a brown ceiling and that he was lying down on a bed. He sat up and winced in pain when he looked down to see a bandage wrapped around his stomach.

“What…happened?” he asked himself.

“You were shot,” a voice answered.

Falco turned his attention and gasped in surprise to see Matthew standing at the foot of his bed with his arms crossed.

“Matthew,” Falco said, “W-what happened? Where am I?”

“Eren Jaeger attacked Liberio after Willy declared war,” Matthew explained.

“No, after,” Falco corrected, “I-I followed Gabi onto the ship. I must’ve gotten shot and fell over. Everything else was blurry after that. Matthew, where am I?”

“You’re on Paradis island,” Matthew explained before his voice dramatically changed, “And I am not Matthew Hayes.”

Falco felt a sense of dread and betrayal when the man’s voice changed. “No…not you too. Who are you?”

‘Matthew’ lifted his arm up and it began to change shape. Falco watched as it changed into one of that of the flying titan.

“You…you’re the flying titan,” Falco realized.

“Yes,” he answered in his true voice.

“All this time,” Falco began, trying to process the situation, “You lied to us. You’ve been lying to us for four years.”

“It’s clear that I’m not wanted. I’ll leave. I have to be informed about plans regarding the next attack.” The flying titan proclaimed as he was making his way out of the makeshift infirmary.

“Wait!” Falco exclaimed as he tried to reach out for him. Falco fell out of bed for reaching too far and landed on his side. He clutched his wound in pain as he curled in on himself.

Megatron heard the boy’s cry for pain as he was at the door. He debated his options and sighed to himself before walking back over to him. He picked the boy up before setting him back down on the bed.

“You shouldn’t exert yourself,” Megatron advised, “You’ll reopen your wound.”

“Why do you care?” Falco demanded as he still held onto his side, “You were sent to destroy us.”

“I was sent for recon,” Megatron declared as he grabbed a chair and sat down, “If I wanted to destroy you, believe me, I would have done it a long time ago.”

“Was anything you told us even true?” Falco asked.

“Some of it,” Megatron admitted, “A good lie holds some truth to it. The story regarding the scar on my shoulder was true to an extent. The creature I mentioned was of Cybertronian origin, not this world.”

“So the idea of leaving?” Falco asked.

“I had to play on the idea so I wouldn’t get caught,�� Megatron explained, “I did have to come up with a reason to permanently stay until recon was finished.”

“…when you saved us,” Falco realized.

Megatron hummed in response. “Honestly, I’m not fond of seeing sparklings going to war and then dying immediately. At the very least, I wanted to ensure that you were ready.”

“But…that doesn’t make sense,” Falco admitted, “I’m a threat. I was one of the warrior candidates. You were teaching me to fight you.”

Megatron chuckled. “You are the furthest thing from a threat. I taught you how to fight, but I never taught you how to beat me. The style I’ve been teaching you in was one I wasn’t good at.”

“And…you still managed to fend off Annie during training,” Falco retorted.

“I’ve been fighting for my entire existence,” Megatron declared, “It’s nothing new.”

“I see,” Falco said before remembering something, “Gabi! Where is she?!”

“Prison,” Megatron answered, “She shot a Survey Corps member and nearly killed another. The two wheeler saved the other one, and that bullet she shot deflected off of her and hit you in your side. The one who nearly died saved you from falling to your death.”

“But you know her!” Falco exclaimed, “Can’t you do something for her!”

“She killed a human, injured another, and almost killed a second one,” Megatron deadpanned, “Even if I wanted to help her, there’s not much I can do for her.”

“But-!”

“Falco, this is war,” Megatron reminded, “Remember that. Not everything I taught you should go to waste.”

“So then…what will happen to me?” Falco asked, “Will I be thrown in prison?”

“No,” Megatron answered, “Because you didn’t do anything entirely stupid, I was able to create a case for you. The human that brat nearly killed decided to take you to her home for the time being. You’ll be staying with her family.”

“Why can’t you take me back home?” Falco demanded, “My brother. My family.”

“If I go back, I will be attacked by Marley troops,” Megatron explained, “While it will take time to kill me, it doesn’t change the fact that I can get injured and that there is no medic here.”

“But I’m still a prisoner,” Falco proclaimed.

“It could be worse,” Megatron reminded, “You could actually be thrown in a cell.”

“I guess,” Falco agreed, “But…why did you advocate for me? I’m your enemy, right?”

“I respect you to a degree, and your brother,” Megatron proclaimed as he stood up, “I figure it was the least I could do after everything. And you two are able to see Marley for the fools they are.”

“I didn’t think you’d care, considering what I’ve heard about you,” Falco admitted, “You still seem…okay.”

“Once you do here the entire story, that opinion will change. I can guarantee it,” Megatron proclaimed, “You’ll see me as a monster.”

“But…you’re all just normal people,” Falco reasoned, “You and everyone else here are not demons at all. You just want to live and survive. You only attacked because we attacked you first.”

“I’m surprised you’re taking this as well as you are,” Megatron admitted.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I am hurt,” Falco declared, “Eren made me send that stupid letter to his comrades, and you’ve been lying to us since day one.”

“…that doesn’t mean my actions were not real,” Megatron proclaimed as he turned to walk away.

“Wait!” Falco called out, “What is your real name?”

Megatron touched the handle of the door and sighed to himself. “Megatron.”

“Megatron,” Falco spoke before smiling, “Thank you…for advocating for me.”

Megatron didn’t respond as he opened the door and walked out the room.

===

Falco tensed up and hid behind Sasha when he saw Arcee in her bipedal mode. Sasha noticed this and held his hand.

“It’s okay,” Sasha whispered, “She’s not going to hurt you, I promise.”

“I…I’m not sure,” Falco admitted.

Sasha decided to ease the tension and greet Arcee. “Hey ‘Cee,”

Arcee looked down at Sasha and smiled before kneeling down. “Ready to go home?”

“You have no idea,” Sasha sighed with relief.

Arcee noticed Falco hiding behind Sasha. “You’re okay.”

Falco lifted his head from behind Sasha. “You…were worried?”

“You have no idea,” Arcee answered, “I’ve been through a lot. The last thing I wanted was a dead kid on my conscious.”

Falco fully removed himself from behind Sasha, but still stayed close to her.

“Call me Arcee,” she introduced herself.

“Falco,” he replied in kind.

“Well, Falco, I’ll be taking you to Sasha’s home,” Arcee explained, “You’ll be staying there until we figure something out.”

I still have more scenes with Falco but this whole portion of the storyline gets scrapped because of Arcee. The way I was building up Arcee throughout the story is to break down her ideology about black and white, good and evil, blah, blah, blah. She sees that through the victims of the war on Cybertron, but she obviously can't accept that so she ends up leaving. She's put in a situation where she is considered an enemy of the world, but she still can't stomach the idea of working together with Megatron. I needed Arcee to have one more break, which was Falco getting hurt and knocked into a coma, to ultimately break her black and white mentality. She needed to recognize in the worst way possible that she is a villain in the story.

Anyway, back to Gabi. There was one scene that I had written where Optimus does confront her about being from Marley instead of Megatron technically outing her:

Optimus noticed ‘Mia’ glaring at him after he waved goodbye to the vender. He walked over to her and offered her his hand so he could take her to his alt mode. She immediately swatted the hand away and took a step back.

“I assume you are still scared of me,” Optimus assumed. He wanted to get a truthful answer out of whoever this girl was. He knew she was lying to him; he just had to pinpoint exactly what it was.

“Stop trying to be nice,” ‘Mia’ hissed as she walked away from him.

“I am trying to help you,” Optimus reasoned, “I wish to make sure you are safe.”

“So you can rectify your unforgivable sins, you devil?!” ‘Mia’ exclaimed.

Optimus stared in surprise while ‘Mia’ covered her mouth in fear.

“You are…from Marley?” Optimus asked in surprise, causing the girl to take steps back away from her.

“N-no,” she shook her head, “I’m not.”

Optimus knew she was trying to lie again and instead tried to put the pieces together of who she was. No one besides the Eldianrestorationists should be back from Marley. He remembered that two enemy soldiers stormed Wheeljack’s ship. One of them was with Sasha, and the other…was thrown in prison.

“You are,” Optimus concluded.

“No I’m not!” the girl cried, “Leave me alone! Or I’ll scream!”

“No, don’t scream,” Optimus pleaded, “The island will take my word over yours. If they so much as learn who you are, you’ll be sent back into military hands and I cannot control what will happen to you then. You have to trust me.”

“Why should I do that?” the girl hissed.

“Because I can get you off the island and back to Marley,” Optimus answered, before listening to footsteps approaching them, “I know you have no reason to trust me, but I can find you a way back to your home.”

The girl still looked like she was debating her options as the footsteps almost rounded the building. Optimus thought quick and grabbed the girl and picked her up.

“Pretend you are sleeping,” Optimus whispered to her as a woman rounded the building and saw them.

“Is everything alright?” the woman asked, “I thought I heard fighting.”

“Everything is fine,” Optimus reassured, “Mia was just tired, that is all.”

Optimus felt the girl tighten her grip on the holoform jacket and tuck her face into his neck.

“Oh, the poor thing,” the woman sighed, “I can loan you something for her if you’d like.”

“Do not worry. I have what I need for her,” Optimus proclaimed, “Thank you for the kind offer.”

Optimus watched the woman walk away before quietly sighing with relief. He then turned his attention to the girl, who still hid her face in his shoulder.

“It is alright now,” Optimus reassured as he was about to set the girl down, but she tightened her grip even more now.

“You…didn’t tell her,” the girl addressed him without moving her face.

“Of course I did not,” Optimus said.

“Why would you save your enemy?” the girl demanded.

“You are not my enemy,” Optimus declared.

“Then why would you save me, devil?” the girl demanded, “You’ve caused destruction of lives throughout the world for over 1,000 years. You’re a demon. You hate anyone that isn’t like you. You attacked my home, killed my friends, and killed my mentor. He wasn’t even my mentor. He lied to us all.”

“Mentor…?” Optimus questioned before realizing who this girl was, “You are Gabi Braun?”

The girl finally lifted her head and glared at Optimus. “So Matthew told you about me?”

Optimus noticed the pain and shame in the girl’s eyes and felt guilty. “What exactly did he tell you?”

Gabi didn’t respond as she placed her head back on his shoulder. “That I’m a failure. That I’m incompetent. That my recklessness gets people I love killed.”

Optimus placed his hand on Gabi’s head as he walked over to his alt mode. “You are just frightened and terrified. That does not make you a failure.”

“I’m a warrior,” Gabi declared, “I’m not supposed to show fear. I’m supposed to gladly lay down my life for my people and my country. I must atone for my sins.”

“What sins?” Optimus asked.

“The sins my ancestors have caused,” Gabi explained.

Optimus arrived at his alt mode and placed Gabi by the passenger door. “What have you done specifically that would warrant you to be called a devil?”

Gabi looked up at the Prime. “My ancestors-,”

“I am not talking about your ancestors,” Optimus interrupted, “I am speaking of you, specifically.”

“I…I stormed your ship,” Gabi explained, “Tried you kill one of your own. I…I’ve killed so many people so that I could gain respect from Marley.”

“Because you were not given much of a choice,” Optimus proclaimed, “You were given so few options in order to survive, and you were placed into war, which forces people to sacrifice their morality in order to survive. You were told that you had to give your life because of what your people have done in the past. A single person should not be defined by what their ancestors have done.”

“What my ancestors have done is unforgivable,” Gabi proclaimed.

“But you have not done those things,” Optimus proclaimed.

“You have no right to tell me this,” Gabi proclaimed, “You’re a demon. You’ve plundered and destroyed the world and left nothing but blood. You’re a murderer.”

Optimus sighed as he sat down in front of her. “Perhaps you are right,”

Gabi blinked in surprise before scowling. “Of course I’m right.”

“But not in the way that you think,” Optimus continued, “I have killed many. I have killed many of my own people in a civil war that destroyed my world. I have had to make difficult choices that would result in heavy consequences. And I had to fight Matthew: someone I once considered brother. I was not there for him when he needed me, and…he lost his way.”

Gabi scowl disappeared as she stared at Optimus in surprise. She remembered the tale Matthew told her years ago and the pieces finally fell into place. “You…you’re the librarian?”

Optimus was startled by Gabi’s question, but continued. “Yes, I am. I did not expect you to know about me.”

“Matthew told us about you,” Gabi explained, “He was…trying to teach us a lesson.”

“And what was he trying to teach you?” Optimus asked.

“That…the world is not black and white,” Gabi answered.

Optimus blinked in response before huffing and giving a sad smile. “That is the unfortunate truth of the universe. If the world were black and white, I would have killed Matthew to end the war and stop the destruction of our planet a long time ago. But I let my attachment to him cloud my judgment, and as a result, it prolonged our war to unforeseen circumstances. I lost my home, my mentor, my brother, my lover. I lost so much.”

“Then…why?” Gabi asked, “Why would you continue to fight when you’ve practically lost?”

Gabi was startled when Optimus placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I continue to fight, so that someone like you will never have to experience the pain and sorrow that I have felt,” Optimus declared.

This scene wasn't included or it had to be severely changed. I originally was going to have Megatron bring up Orion to the Marleyans, but that ultimately got scrapped because Megatron would never talk about that to the enemy, no matter how fond he's gotten of them. He does end up calling Orion a 'naive little shit' Lol. But I mainly wrote these scenes because in order for Gabi to be redeemed I thought that having her be around Optimus would be a good start.

And before that, Kiyomi was originally supposed to find out about Gabi, and offers Optimus to help watch her when in reality she wants to interrogate her. Also, ignore the misspelling of Kiyomi's name. I wrote this a while ago:

Gabi glared at Kyomi as the woman sat down and poured herself some wine. She clenched the chair she was in as she felt eyes on the back of her head as she glanced back at the two guards behind her at the doors.

“I’m just a simple child,” Gabi tried to reason, “What’s with the security?”

Kyomi took a small sip as she looked Gabi dead in the eye. “Do you really think I’d forget your face? I saw all four of you when I helped your friend avoid getting turned into a titan when he spilled wine all over me.”

Gabi began trembling.

“And what do you know, two Eldian warriors storm the titan’s ship and kill a Survey Corps member,” Kyomi added, “And by the flying titan’s account, both were trained warriors.”

Gabi growled in anger. “You traitor.”

Kyomi huffed in response. “That was fast.”

“Shut up!” Gabi shouted, “You could’ve told someone about these demons! Instead, you’re working with them! You’re just as evil as them! Eldian sympathizer!”

“That should be good for you,” Kyomi reminded calmly, “Considering the fact I could just as easily turn you over to the government and probably have you executed.”

Gabi’s face dropped and her whole body filled with dread.

“Or I could tell Optimus, since he clearly doesn’t know who you are,” Kyomi continued.

“Y-you can’t do that,” Gabi proclaimed.

“Says who?” Kyomi demanded.

“Marley will come for me,” Gabi warned, “They’ll come and-,”

“I doubt they would come for an expendable warrior,” Kyomi proclaimed, “They’ll just pluck another Eldian to take your place. When they come, they’re coming to avenge the non-Eldians. Not you.”

“My friends are dead,” Gabi hissed, “Zofia was crushed by a boulder. Udo was trampled to death. Falco…falco…,”

“He’s dead because of you,” the flying titan’s voice echoed in her mind.

“It’s because of those titans,” Gabi hissed, “It’s because of those demons. Eren killed my friends. Those titans trampled my home! It was because of them!”

Gabi looked at Kyomi with such fury. “WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO LECTURE ME WHEN YOU’VE BETRAYED YOUR OWN KIND?!”

Kyomi put the glass down. “You want my personal opinion: I’m just doing this for profit. I think it’s just better to work with the person that has the goods instead of trying to blow them up. If people thought like that instead of the nonsense they think of now, this world would be better off.  If you took the time to actually talk to the people at the harbor, you’d realize that they’re not demons.”

“They are,” Gabi declared, “Especially that flying titan and the metal titan!”

Kyomi broke face and began to snicker. Gabi felt insulted when the woman began giggling.

“The flying titan destroyed my home!” Gabi shouted.

“He did,” Kyomi said, “He also could’ve destroyed it four years ago if he wanted to but he didn’t. Matthew doesn’t deny that he’s a demon. He’s played that role for so long that he’s come to accept the backlash. I’m laughing about your opinion on the metal titan. Optimus Prime has done nothing but take care of you, and all you’ve done is curse and spit at him.”

“He’s a demon!” Gabi exclaimed, “He wanted to destroy my home!”

Kyomi sighed. “I’m going to let you in on some confidential information.”

“Ma’am,” one of the guards spoke.

Kyomi raised her hand in response before turning to Gabi. “Optimus never wanted to attack Liberio. No one did.”

Gabi stared in disbelief.

“Eren went rogue on his own,” Kyomi continued, “He left the island without informing anyone. The original plan was to find Eren and bring him back to the island before he did anything dangerous. When it became clear that Eren had full intentions of attacking Liberio on his own, everyone was cornered with a decision: help Eren attack Liberio and kill innocent people, or let Eren attack on his own and have the Founding Titan power redacted. The flying titan already had the information he needed, and had no issue with killing. The other two titan were complacent; they had their own friends they needed to protect. Optimus kept up vocal opposition until the end. He said he would remain on the island to defend it in the event a fleet came and attacked. In reality, he just didn’t want to kill any humans.”

Gabi shook her head in response. “I-I don’t believe you.”

“Did Optimus hurt you?” Kyomi asked, “Did Optimus attack you? Did Optimus harm you in any way?”

Gabi didn’t respond.

“There’s your answer,” Kyomi said, “Optimus protects humans; he doesn’t hurt them.”

“He’s still a demon,” Gabi whispered.

“Still in denial,” Kyomi sighed, “I should tell Optimus who you are, or any official for that matter, but I know that you just want to go back to Marley.”

Gabi grew worried at her statement.

“I clearly can’t take you,” Kyomi proclaimed, “The Amizubitos will be outed and attacked. I can’t risk my nation being destroyed. My advice to you, if you want to stay alive: stay with Optimus Prime.”

“Stay?!” Gabi shouted.

“There are others still outside,” Kyomi reminded.

Gabi closed her mouth.

“The fact that you killed one of their own will no doubt get you killed,” Kyomi explained, “Breaking out of prison doesn’t help your case either. Staying with Optimus will increase your chances at survival. He doesn’t harm human, and you’re a child. He’ll give you special treatment and make sure your safe under his care until he can get you a home. It’s not like you have any other options, anyway.”

“…what if…he finds out who I am?” Gabi hesitantly asked.

Kyomi thought it over. “I don’t think he would hurt you.”

“Why?” Gabi asked.

“Every sentient being deserves an opportunity for redemption,” Kyomi quoted, “His words. Not mine.”

Gabi scoffed in response. “That’s stupid.”

“It’s what he believes,” Kyomi proclaimed, “It’s not something bad to hold on to.”

Also the final confrontation between them was supposed to be a little bit different too:

“Gabi, are you alright?!” Optimus asked with concerned as he examined the bruise on her arm.

Gabi grew angry and pulled her arm from Optimus’ grip. She tried to shove him away, but she merely fell backwards and hit her head on the side of Optimus’ alt mode.

“Gabi-!”

“Stop it! Just stop it, you devil!” Gabi shouted.

“Gabi-,”

“Is this some kind of sick twisted joke to you?!” Gabi demanded, “I am a devil! A demon! Why are you risking your life for me?!”

“Gabi, they would have killed you if I handed you over to them,” Optimus reasoned.

“I’m your enemy!” Gabi shouted, “You were supposed to hand me over to them! Instead, you protect me?! Are you out of your mind?! You’re an idiot! A fucking idiot! You’re trying to manipulate me to trust me before you kill me yourself!”

Gabi stood up. “You’re a demon! A devil! Do us both a favor and die!”

Gabi didn’t know what came over her as she punched Optimus square in the face. She felt her heart stop and dread go through her as Optimus touched his cheek. What did she do?! The titan saved her, and she decided to punch him! Now he would no doubt try to kill her now! She doomed herself! She was going to die! The flying titan was right! Her idiocy was going to get her killed!

Gabi fell back down as Optimus stood up and looked down at her. She trembled in fear and was ready to cry. She then watched in confusion as Optimus walked away from her towards a small bush of blue flowers.

“I understand your hatred of me,” Optimus began as he knelt down and picked the flowers one-by-one, “I understand you want me dead after the attack of your home. If it was my choice, I would not have attacked a place full of innocent humans, but it is war. War does not spare the weak. It only takes as it leaves nothing in its path but death and destruction. It does not matter who is in the right or wrong, many will die.”

Gabi tensed when Optimus stood up and walked over to her before sitting down in front of her. “You are a soldier because you were given such few options. Because of your heritage. You are seen as a demon by the people you serve, and as a result, you believe yourself to be a demon.”

“That’s not-,”

“You wish to become great,” Optimus continued as he weaved the flowers together, “You wish to become powerful so that you will mean something to someone. You wish to be recognized by the ones who do not care for your own life at all. When you are met with others who wish to help you that have no alliance with Marley, you curse them and say they do not matter. Marley only wishes for you to become great because they wanted to use you as a weapon. They do not care for you as a person.

“You’re afraid that everything Marley taught you is wrong. You’re afraid of the reality that someone you loved attacked and killed innocent people. You scream and cry out in fear. You’re afraid of being considered weak. You do not believe your life has value.”

Gabi watched Optimus finish weaving the flowers into a crown. “The island sees you as an enemy. That is understandable. The world sees you as a devil. That is unforgivable.”

Gabi shut her eyes in fear as Optimus placed the crown on her head. “All I see, is a little girl. I see a little girl who wants nothing more than to return home.”

Gabi shakily touch the crown on her head as looked Optimus in the eye. “What…what do you want from me?”

“I just want you to see that you are human,” Optimus answered.

“I’m…I’m not,” Gabi whispered, recalling her memories of the four year war. She began recalling the way she treated her friends, and how they were now six feet under. She remembered the way she killed her enemies, both Eldians and others. She remembered Falco, and how her foolishness got a bullet in his side and caused him to bleed out. It was her fault. She was the one who did that, and she was powerless to do a thing.

“I’m a devil,” Gabi whispered as tears rolled down her cheek, “I killed people. I was cruel to my friends. I didn’t get to tell them that I cared, and now their dead. They’re dead because of me. I deserve to die. I…I…”

Gabi covered her eyes with her hands and began crying. “I’m so horrible!”

Gabi screamed and cried as she sobbed loudly. Optimus could only watch with sorrow before wrapping his arms around her. She tensed in fear as Optimus placed his hand on her head.

“It is alright,” Optimus reassured, “You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to be human.”

Gabi felt her hands move to Optimus’ arms and she gripped them tightly. She put her face on Optimus’ shoulder and continued crying. The tension in her body leaving, realizing she didn’t fear the titan. The titan would protect her, and keep her safe.

Yeah, in the original outline, Pieck was never in the scene. She was supposed to be tailing Eren originally. Then I had the whole 'shadow' idea so I had to change course. Also, I thought Optimus making Gabi a flower crown would have been nice but I don't think he would know how to do that.

So originally I was going to have Levi and Kenny find Optimus together, after Kenny and Levi have a rather heated conversation after the Killer saves the Captain's life from Zeke. Optimus remembers Falco's location and ends up going to the cabin with all three of them to drop of Gabi and pick up Sasha:

Optimus helped Gabi out of his alt mode before kneeling down in front of her. “I need you to stay here.”

“No!” Gabi exclaimed while shaking her head.

“Gabi-,”

“No, I want to stay with you!” Gabi pleaded.

“Gabi, where we are going is dangerous,” Optimus explained, “You could be killed.”

“He’s right,” Levi reasoned, “The military wants you dead, and there’s a chance Eren and Zeke are raising hell as we speak. You’d be dead in an instant.”

“But-!”

“Gabi, look at me,” Optimus pleaded, earning the girl’s attention, “This is the best option for you. I will come back for you; you have my word, but you need to stay here.”

“…I’m scared…,” Gabi whimpered as she hugged the Prime.

“I know you are, but this is the safest place for you right now,” Optimus declared.

“How are you sure?” Gabi asked.

Gabi gasped when the door opened to reveal the woman who went to rescue Falco on the ship two months ago. She was now in civilian attired with a bow in hand and arrows in her quiver. Gabi yelped in fear and hid behind Optimus as she drew her arrow.

“It’s not for you,” Optimus whispered.

Gabi peaked over Optimus shoulder to see the woman directing her weapon at Kenny who had his hands up in surrender.

“Stand down,” Levi ordered, “He’s on our side.”

“I’m not convinced,” Sasha declared.

“Too bad sharpshooter,” Kenny hissed, “You’re gonna have to work with me.”

“Why the hell should I do that?” Sasha demanded.

“Zeke escaped,” Levi explained, “He’s infected the wine from Marley with his titan fluid and has been feeding it to the military.”

Sasha stared in fear as she lowered her bow. “Hanji and the others? Where are they?”

“Fine,” Kenny answered, “They didn’t drink the wine and Erwin got them out in time.”

“We are heading over to them now,” Optimus declared as he stood up, “I know this is much to take in, but we need as many soldiers as possible.”

Sasha turned her attention to Gabi, who was trying her best to hide behind Optimus. “And what about her?”

“Can she remain here with your family?” Optimus asked, “Where we are going, it will not be safe for her.”

“Depends,” Sasha answered before turning to Gabi, “You’re not going to try and kill me, right? That bullet would’ve gone through my heart if Arcee wasn’t there,”

Gabi furiously shook her head. “No, I’ll be good. I promise.”

Sasha thought over her options, but sighed in irritation. “Doesn’t seem like I have a choice due to the time crunch. Fine, she can stay. Falco, Gabi’s here!”

Gabi heart stopped as she stepped in front of Optimus. Falco? Falco was here? No…Falco was dead…her bullet when through his side. He bled out…right?

Gabi’s breath got lodged in her throat as she saw Falco walking out the house in perfect health. She noticed the bandage wrapped around his waist under his shirt and began trembling. Falco didn’t seem to notice as he smiled with joy.

“Gabi!” Falco exclaimed as he ran to her and gave her a hug, “I’m so glad to see you! Did they let you out of prison?! What’s with the flower crown?!”

Gabi couldn’t handle it anymore and her legs gave out. She fell to her knees and out of Falco’s grasp, startling the boy.

“Gabi, what’s wrong?” Falco asked in surprise.

Falco didn’t know what to do when tears began forming in Gabi’s eyes. She ended up taking a deep breath and loudly sobbed. Falco immediately got on his knees as a fountain of tears poured out.

“Gabi-!” Falco wasn’t able to get a word out as Gabi tightly hugged her friend.

“I’m sorry!” Gabi sobbed through her tears, “I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine! I’m fine!” Falco tried to reason before turning to the three men in front of him, “Why is she like this?!”

“Right, forgot to mention. Megatron told Gabi that you were dead,” Kenny answered.

“What?!” Falco exclaimed.

“What the hell?!” Sasha demanded.

“Permission to shoot buckethead in the face,” Levi said.

“Granted,” Optimus allowed.

Mr. Blause came walking to the door with coffee in hand when he heard the loud sobbing. He was startled to see all these people at his doorstep and looked down at his coffee cup.

“I think this ain’t healthy,” he commented.

“Pa, I gotta go,” Sasha told him, “Take care of that girl, Gabi, okay?”

“’Kay,” Mr. Blause agreed before hugging his daughter, “Be safe. Love ya’.”

“Love ya’, too,” Sasha replied back as he hugged him. She let go of her father before running towards Optimus’ alt mode. She hopped into the back while Kenny jumped into the passenger seat. Optimus deactivated his holoform and opened the driver door for Levi. The captain jumped in before Optimus revved his engine and drove away from the house.

Mr. Blause sighed in irritation about the chaos before looking down at Falco and the newcomer still crying. Mr. Blause set his coffee cup down and walked over to the two and kneeled down.

“Heya,” he greeted, “Ya’ look tired,”

Gabi glared at the man while tightening her grip on Falco.

“Gabi, it’s okay,” Falco reassured, “His family let me stay with them.”

Gabi was still unsure as she watched the adult with caution.

“How ‘bout I take you to a nice bed and ya’ get some rest b’foreya’ eat somethin’?” Mr. Blause suggested.

Gabi was really tempted by the offer, and gave into her exhaustion. She let go of Falco and nodded her head quietly.

“I can carry ya’,” Mr. Blause offered.

Gabi felt her guard go down as Mr. Blause picked her up and carried her into the house with Falco following behind.

So originally, Megatron was going to tell Gabi that Falco was dead instead of alive in order to break her mentally and keep her in the prison. He didn't want her having the motivation to escape. She ultimately did in this version, and she ends up under Optimus, who leads her right back to Falco.

There were also a few other scenes on the farm:

Gabi opened her eyes and rubbed her head before sitting up. She noticed that she was in someone’s room and the bed she was on was right next to the window.

Gabi felt the blankets shift and looked down to see Falco resting his head on the bed while he was sitting in a chair. Gabi was going to cry again when she saw Falco breathing. He…he’s alive. Falco’s alive.

Gabi slowly reached out and touched Falco’s head. The boy slowly opened his eyes and raised his head. He rubbed his eyes before looking directly at Gabi.

“Hey,” Falco said.

“Where…are we?” Gabi asked.

“We’re at Sasha Blause’s home,” Falco explained, “She let me stay here instead of getting sent to prison.”

“Oh…,” Gabi weakly responded.

“Gabi, are you-…,” Falco stopped himself short. She probably wasn’t okay. She thought for months that he was dead, and from the looks of it, she blamed herself for it.

“Gabi, I’m alive,” Falco told her, “I’m here, and we’ll find a way to get back home together.”

Gabi looked down at Falco’s shirt to see the bandages around his waist. Falco noticed the direction of her gaze and pulled down the shirt. He then pulled her into a hug, startling the girl.

“But…but I hurt you,” Gabi reminded, “You almost died because of me.”

“You would’ve never hurt me on purpose,” Falco proclaimed, “And I’m here now. It’s okay.”

Gabi wrapped her arms around Falco’s waist, causing him to wince. Gabi quickly let go of him with fear and concern.

“The wound’s not completely healed yet,” Falco explained, “I’ll be fine though.”

Gabi wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Gabi-,”

“I was always mean to you. I always looked down on you,” Gabi cut him off, “I never…,”

Gabi began crying again in his shoulder. “I hurt you. I almost killed you.”

Gabi obviously needed to apologize to Falco for calling him a bad friend. And there's a much more positive interaction between Kaya and Gabi:

”Can’t believe Megatron told you I was dead,” Falco admitted.

Gabi looked at Falco. “That’s Matthew’s real name?”

Falco nodded his head. “I wasn’t aware he faked his death, so when I woke up in the hospital, kind of thought I was back in Marley. Then I heard him talking differently, and he told me who he was and what he was doing.”

“So…why were you sent here?” Gabi asked, “How come you weren’t put in prison?”

“Megatron advocated for me,” Falco explained, “He told the military here that I was much more rationale and wouldn’t try to kill anyone. He even said I most likely got on the ship to try and stop you. So the woman, Sasha, decided to take me here and allow me to recover. When I asked him about you, he said there was nothing he could do since you tried to kill one of their own.”

“…He could be lying to you,” Gabi proclaimed, “He lied to me. He lied to everyone. Udo and Zofia are dead. Liberio’s been destroyed.”

“From what I heard, Eren Jaeger was the one who launched the attack by himself in the first place,” Falco proclaimed.

“How could you have heard that?” Gabi demanded.

“I heard some of them talking,” Falco explained, “They said they threw Eren into prison.”

“No excuse for what Megatron did,” Gabi declared, “Did…did he even care about us? Every action he did, was it because he cared, or was it because he was trying not to get caught?”

“…can’t say for certain,” Falco admitted, “Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. I don’t know.”

“I hate him,” Gabi declared.

“…I don’t know if I can,” Falco admitted.

“Hi,” a voice greeted.

The two looked up to see a blonde girl holding two sandwiches, offering both of it to them. Falco smiled and took the both of it from her hands. He handed one to Gabi, and she took it from his hands.

“Can I sit with you two?” she asked politely.

“Sure,” Falco answered.

Gabi grew tense when the girl sat down next to her. She grew even more nervous when she held out her hand to her.

“I’m Kaya,” she introduced herself.

“…Gabi,” she meekly responded as she shook Kaya’s hand.

“You’re from Marley, like Falco, right?” she asked.

Gabi nodded her head.

“So…you probably think I’m a devil right?” Kaya asked.

Gabi pulled her knees up to her chest. She didn’t know what to think anymore.

“I…,” Gabi trailed off, unable to come up with a response.

“It’s okay,” Kaya reassured, “You were raised in Marley. I can’t blame you for your way of thinking.”

Gabi was startled by the girl’s response. She didn’t yell at her, or curse her out.

“Falco, do you know when my sister’s coming back?” Kaya asked.

“I’m not sure,” Falco answered, “It seemed pretty urgent when she left. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“…Zeke broke out,” Gabi declared.

“What?!” Falco exclaimed while Kaya looked in surprise.

“He broke out, and now he might turn people here into titans,” Gabi proclaimed.

“…that’s terrifying,” Kaya remarked.

“How are you not worried?!” Falco exclaimed.

Kaya quickly shushed him before continuing. “I am worried, but I know that the Survey Corps and the Autobots will do everything they can to stop it.”

“’Autobots’?” Gabi questioned.

“Arcee, Wheeljack, and Optimus,” Kaya listed, “They’re called Autobots, and they advocate for the protection of life. I don’t know about Megatron though. Every time I ask Sasha about it, she would give me this uncomfortable look and said that ignorance was better.”

“Do you know anything about Megatron?” Gabi asked.

“Not really,” Kaya answered, “Arcee would tell us tales of battles she had on both her home and on Earth, but she didn’t really talk about Megatron much.”

“Who’s Arcee?” Gabi asked.

“The blue Autobot,” Kaya explained, “She’s extremely agile and fast. She’s my sister’s partner.”

“I hate her,” Gabi hissed, earning a worried look from Falco.

“Is it because she was part of the Liberio attack?” Kaya asked.

Gabi looked at Falco and felt a wave of guilt rush over her.

“Arcee didn’t mean for me to get injured,” Falco explained, “She felt guilty when the bullet hit me and was glad that I was alive. She even came to me in the hospital and apologized to me.”

“Arcee wanted to apologize to you too, but since you were in prison, she never got the chance,” Kaya continued, “She never wanted to attack Liberio. None of the titans did.”

“Then why did they?!” Gabi exclaimed, “Why did they trample my home into the ground?! Why did they kill Udo and Zofia?! Why did those devils attack us?!”

“Gabi!” Falco exclaimed before grabbing her hand.

“…because it’s war,” Kaya answered, earning both of their attention, “Arcee has always told me and Sasha that war was terrible. She had to get her hands dirty in order to survive. She struggled so much to keep her morality while fighting a group that wouldn’t hesitate to kill their own in a heartbeat. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done. People will end on dying, because one side feels right. It’s why…,”

Gabi felt her stomach turn as Kaya began to cry. “It’s why my mom was devoured by a titan. It’s why our country was devastated. It’s why Arcee lost her home, and why the Survey Corps attacked Liberio. It was because of war.”

“War is a cruel and terrible thing,” Gabi remembered Optimus saying, “It kills and destroys until no one is left. You’re only given the option to survive, and must sacrifice everything in order to do so.”

“…I’m…sorry,” Gabi said quietly, earning a shocked look from Falco.

“It’s okay,” Kaya reassured as she wiped away her tears, “You were born in Marley, and told to think a certain way.”

Gabi removed her hand from Falco’s grip as he stared in disbelief. Gabi would never say stuff like this. She would never apologize. She would never be kind to the people she had been told were demons. What the hell caused this change?

“So…,” Kaya began, wanting to change the topic, “What’s Optimus like?”

Gabi stared at her in surprise. “Huh?”

“You actually got to meet Optimus and spend time with him,” Kaya said, “I’ve always wanted to meet him, but I missed my chance when Optimus came here. Arcee always told me and the others stories of battles they fought together. I’ve always wanted to know what he truly was like. You spent time with Optimus, so what did you think of him?”

Falco became worried once more. What was Gabi going to say? She already hated Megatron, what could she say that could possibly make this-

“Kind,” Gabi answered, “Optimus is…really kind.”

Falco stared in shock. What?!

“Optimus protected me and was willing to take care of me,” Gabi continued, “Even when he figured out that I was from Marley, he was stilling willing to help me get back home to safety. He protected me from his own allies and saved my life over and over.”

Gabi let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Even when I called him a devil and cursed him out, he saved my life. I…just hope I get the chance to apologize to him when he comes back. And tell him thank you for protecting me.”

Yeah, there was a lot going on, but this originally happened because Sasha was supposed to be bringing Arcee to the farm more often, and the Autobot would tell stories to Kaya and the other kids, which is why Kaya knew more than the average person.

I think that's all I have for right now because this is a lot. And as I'm scanning through my old documents, I'm realizing I'm missing a lot more shit. Lol. I'll post it later with time. Just enjoy.

[theknightmarket]

Act 1 | Scene 6 - Pick Your Poison

It felt like Wilford was intentionally staying away. You didn’t know how he found it out, but he had been vacant from a stool at your bar for long enough that it couldn’t have been a coincidence. He was somehow aware of the revelation you’d had – or, at least, he was aware of your want to talk to him – and the subject was bad enough that it stopped him from showing up altogether.

That was your theory, anyway; the last month hadn’t been normal enough for you to consider yourself fully stable, and there was a high likelihood that Wilford was just plain busy. Your paranoia was seriously causing you some issues in other parts of your life, so why wouldn’t it go all out and take over the business side too?

On the other hand, your general experience with the man told you otherwise. He had never mentioned a job, let alone anything about his life that wasn’t disguised under layers of smoke and shadows, and he was sat in front of you enough that you hoped he didn’t have to work in the morning.

You were surprised that the whole looping scenario didn’t have consequences, anyway; in your opinion, you handled the aftermath of it quickly and efficiently, and, also in your opinion, that wasn’t good. Something utterly insane like the day going in circles seven times over wasn’t supposed to be processed that easily. The human brain wasn’t built to comprehend things that messed with time and space, but yours decided that the best course of action was to make a bowl of pasta and then fall asleep for ten hours until your alarm told you to open up the bar again. You supposed bouncing from shift to shift wasn’t doing you any favors, but it wasn’t affecting your ability to complete orders. How, you had no clue. To your knowledge, your skills should have plummeted, but they stayed in tip-top shape, as proven by the dozens of people you were presently serving in quick succession. It wasn’t that you hadn’t been given the time, either, because there were definitely the slow hours that had you standing behind the bar like a mannequin in a showroom.

All in all, you were more confused by your lack of appropriate reaction than confused by the actual events in the first place. The only true problem laid in your lack of answers, which prompted you to devote every second that you weren’t actively interacting with patrons to scouring the area for the pop of pink you had become so accustomed to. Time ticked by, every second another square inch searched, until you looped the crimson walls and started back at the front doors. 

It was a tedious endeavor, that was for sure, but there was nothing else you could do with your time, and you needed something to distract you from the growing numbness of your legs. A large influx of customers had passed you through, a tidal wave that battered the cliff face once and then ducked back into the ocean, around half an hour before. All of their drinks had been served, so you were simply waiting for calls for a refill or bill. 

You didn’t tend to make conversation with the people sitting at the main bar – you only spoke to Wilford on that first night because you were young, dumb and broke. It had only been a month ago, of course, and two of those were still correct, but it was the dramatic thought that counted. Regardless of your current state, it was no less true that the only reason you took the leap with anyone else was because of that random choice to make conversation. In the more recent times, you strayed from building relationships with your patrons, the only olive branches you gave being the odd question about work to your night-shift regulars. You didn’t think you were on first-name basis with anyone who didn’t have suspiciously similar faces.

Your eyebrows furrowed and you leaned forward against the bar subconsciously as you desperately tried to remember that line. No matter how unprofessional it was, you couldn’t help but worry your cheek between your teeth. Catching the muscle on the pointier bits hurt slightly but you were too focused to actively stop yourself. The shadows of the bar seemed to engulf the edges of your vision, and the music faded out, the end of a movie’s credits that trailed into nothingness. It was absolutely killing you that the common phrase wasn’t coming to mind.

But then you made eye contact with the man who had walked through the door, and it appeared in your mind like headlights in fog.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Because, with barely a glance needed to find an empty table in relative solitude, a very familiar face made you grind your teeth.

Was one normal day too much to ask for? Just one, just 24 hours of serving drinks, taking cards, and cleaning tables, that was it. The smallest indication that you were more than a higher power’s plaything.

Such a thing didn’t come, and so, instead, you began to inspect your new patron. The face was the same, obviously, but his hair was slicked back in a fashion that reminded you more of a yellowing family photograph than an actual living person. Paired with the small sketching of a mustache above his lip, you weren’t entirely sure he wasn’t from an album in your childhood home’s attic.

You might have made more mental comparisons had you not been slapped in the face by his outfit. The sight of a crimson suit knocked the wind out of you, made you breathless in the face of worries and fears and suspicions that bubbled to the surface. You desperately tried to force them back down, but the fancifulness was already buried under your skin. The face that you had seen on half a dozen other people suddenly became a comfort to you – the ones you already knew weren’t like that, because the most likely culprit was Dark but you had long since dismissed him as an option, so this man had no real reason to be a risk, and if he was, it wouldn’t affect the relationships you had built, right? They didn’t have to be connected, not necessarily. Worst case scenario, best case scenario, okay case scenario—

You breathed in and then breathed out. You were making it a bad habit to spiral in the middle of a shift, and it didn’t help when you couldn’t even muddle through your own thoughts to find what you were really worried about.

Ignoring your thundering heart, you took your frozen body around the bar and up to the table that the man had sat himself down at.

“Good evening, sir.” The words tingled on the end of your tongue, frostbite overtaking the practiced greeting.

Not that it mattered, considering the response you got was hardly warm; a look tossed your way and then tossed the other way, followed by some vague gesture that you thought must have been in the terms and conditions for wearing a suit. 

“Pauillac de Latour, thank you,” he spoke, just as smooth as his order. You could have benefitted from a please, but a brief interaction was a merciful one, and you were barely keeping yourself from scouring every inch of that jacket for a hint of its origin.

So, after a firm nod, you marched back to the bar and searched the shelves for the wine bottle. The 1977 wasn’t one you took out often – owing to its frankly ghastly price and a name that was pronounced even worse – but it was a big buck day when you did. Hell, with that order, you could have shut down the bar the second he handed you the money, and that thought terrified you. If you were distracted by the mere image of the suit, how were you going to serve him well enough that he would want to return? It was like getting a shark to bite at your bait, but the tug of the line threatened to pull you into the waters with it. You couldn’t let him get away, your personal grievances be damned.

You placed the wine bottle in a bucket of ice and carried it as carefully as you could to the table again. The little stand you saved for very important – very intimidating – patrons went with you, too, until you situated everything just as it was meant to be. You went through the motions, asked if he wanted to taste it first, poured the glistening burgundy into the glass in front of him, and spared as much of your mind as you could to keeping your breathing steady.

But something about your act was off. You didn’t know what it was exactly, but the man noticed that the façade you put up wasn’t the normal waitstaff formality. As you drew the bottle away from the wine glass, he curled his hand around the stem and stared straight into your eyes. Searching.

“Don’t you recognize me?”

The line snapped – you were in the water now – the shark was circling you. The shark, in fact, looked you up and down, smoothly bringing his eyes along the collar against your neckline, the lapel of your vest, the few creases on your shirt that stood stark against the crispness. Had you not been so occupied with appearing calm, you might have cracked a smile at the suspicion he was regarding you with, as if you weren’t the one on the edge of losing it.

To combat some of the tension, you replied, “Yes, sir, I do.” And it wasn’t a lie; you were seeing that face – that just so happened to belong to five other people – a whole lot. You weren’t going to admit that, though, because that would cost you a customer or your freedom, depending on how crazy he thought you were.

Nevertheless, the answer seemed to quell a portion of his suspicions. Not all of it was gone by the time he nodded and waved you off again, but, whereas his vision had been entirely clouded with doubt, some of it gave way to a certain… understanding? Acceptance? A realization that it wasn’t what he thought it was, but he still didn’t know what it actually was.

That was good enough for you, and he granted you a cue to leave, so you gratefully took it. You made your way back behind the bar as quick as you could without raising more questions, just in time to take the order of the next person who walked through the front door.

You struggled through the interaction, incredibly thankful for your autopilot skills, as you made the drinks and surveyed the room. The darkening sky owed to a table or two packing up, and they arrived at the bar to pay their bills in quick succession. Pleasantries were exchanged, ‘come back soon’s and ‘have a nice night’, even a smile that you forced until the door swung shut behind the last group. Anything to keep up the image of a collected bartender while that suited man was watching you.

Back where you normally stood, you grappled for something to do, something to occupy your hands and mind with, and you found the ever-present collection of dirty glasses. It was roughly nine o’clock, but a Tuesday was never busy after the rush of after-work drinkers. Currently, the bar was draining of its occupants, with only a group at one of the booths, a couple along the wall, and the man you were trying to ignore.

Surprise, you weren’t doing a great job of it.

The biggest offender to your heart rate was his graceful scribbling. His hand covered what he was doing, but your brain lunged at the prospect of a notepad, refusing to let go until you found out what it really was. Every time he shifted, your eyes darted to him as though a gun had gone off, and you tracked the movement of his hand from his glass to his lips. When it was empty, he refilled to its capacity, a process he repeated until he placed the empty bottle upside down in the sloshes of melted ice. You were aware of each and every time this happened, and it only occurred to you to be concerned when his gaze finally drifted from you.

You were wary of him, and a less shameful person would have admitted to a touch of fear still lingering in your heart, but that didn’t mean you could have no other emotions. Worry was quickly becoming one of them, not of him but for him. This kind of behavior, it simply wasn’t healthy.

With that thought in mind, you stashed your suspicions in the back of your mind and walked out from behind the bar. You made towards him as though you were simply going to remove the bottle, and you were planning to make light conversation as you did so, but he beat you to it.

“Are you sure you recognize me?” he asked. His tone was less conspiratorial, this time, and took on more disbelief.

Although the concern was still present, it was pushed next to your suspicions; he didn’t look how you thought he had. From as far away as the bar, you supposed the dim lights might have made him seen more despairing than he actually was. It was probably some kind of media influence, going so far as to see him as a tragic, brooding soldier, reminiscing on his past through the window, instead of just a man getting lost in his thoughts.

Either way, the skepticism was more worthy of focus than your misunderstanding – and that meant you could experiment a little. After all, if Wilford wasn’t there to answer your questions, you were going to have to dig for them yourself.

“After the weeks I’ve had, I should hope so, sir,” you responded, angling for him to notice where he was. The others had taken some encouragement, too, and you hoped it would be easier this time.

Your idea seemed to be confirmed when he said, “You aren’t reacting like most people.”

Now was the time to engage in your favorite tactic: lying.

“It’s been explained to me.”

“The concept?”

His eyes narrowed, and he pushed the wine glass further away from him, the few drops of liquid still in there slipping against the wall.

“Well, I started to get suspicious after the third—” You had to keep it vague, in case you were wrong, but it seemed to be working, “—but only a few days ago was it explicitly stated.”

Surprise flashed across his face, and he sat back in his chair, crossing one leg over another. You were looking down on him, but that position gave him a control over the conversation that made you wonder why there was control to be had in the first place. He stared at you like you had just spilled the secret to a crime. Briefly, you internally celebrated your oh-so-amazing guessing skills. What you had guessed, you didn’t actually know, but you were hoping for him to loosen up and drop some clues.

And then the corners of his mouth dropped, and he asked, “What are you talking about?”

While it was nice to be on the receiving end of mental doubt, you weren’t a fan of getting caught in a lie. You were good at getting into them, but getting out? That was a whole other skill set that you did not possess. Your only option was to take a stab in the dark.

“The others, sir,” you answered slowly. “Is that not correct?”

The nervousness that crept into your voice wasn’t helping your case, and you knew that, but it was difficult to save face when he paused with his eyes locked onto yours. He was going to call you out on your blatant lie, there was no getting out of this one. You really needed to stop ruining your chances with patrons, especially with the ones who paid for one of the most expensive wines you carried. It was going to be the end of you one day.

The man’s groan pulled you out of your thoughts – spiraling, again – but you were half sure it wasn’t anything against you.

“God, no!” he spat, absolutely disgusted with whatever he took your vague reference to be. “No, no, no. I’m talking about my celebrity status, not—” His eyes slid away from you, “—just no.”

With your theory half-confirmed, you let the subject drop and, in exchange, picked up a new curiosity.

“Celebrity?”

He floated his hand around his face, but the only reference you had for that was the five other people who had that same face. Apparently, they were a touchy subject for him, though, so you were going to have to find something else to go off of.

You delved into the depths of your mind to find some recognition from earlier times – something less recent, and not tied to your patrons in any way. It was difficult considering you weren’t an avid socializer, and most of your adulthood was spent working to get the funds for your own place. You didn’t have enough spare money or time to engage with celebrity culture.

The suit wasn’t an option to give you the hint you were looking for; you weren’t up to date on the world of the rich and famous, but you trusted yourself to recognize a red suit flashier than the sun itself had you ever saw one. Unfortunately, nothing came up under that. You moved on to his hair, but that only brought up the war-era photos again. There had to be some other defining feature.

It only took a second for you to fully realize, and it came not from his physical appearance, but the overwhelming smug aura that danced around him like a perfume.

When you were thinking back to your past, you stayed in the recent five years, but, when broke through the mental barrier you had put up between the decades, you fished the memory that you were searched for from the murky waters and into the present.

You caught his comment of, “I’m surprised you didn’t confuse one of the others for me.” You also caught the unsubtle spite in his tone, but the roll of his eyes would have let you know regardless.

You had only ever seen a couple of Mark’s movies, owing to your family’s hatred of pop culture, so you were lucky to have recognized him from a short scene you just so happened to retain in the midst of unfamiliar accents and illegible subtitles.

“That French movie?” You paused to let the title come to you. “L’avernir.”

This was a moment of genuine shock for him, pure and alone. His eyes widened and he leaned back in his chair even further, adjusting his position as if to give himself time to react.

He nodded slowly, “Yes, that’s right—” Then he pursed his lips, “—but you don’t have an accent.”

“Oh, no, I’m not French, sir, I just grew up watching foreign media and then it bled into my adult life,” you explained.

“Can you speak it?”

“If I tried hard enough.” It definitely helped when you were dealing with tough customers and could curse them out without losing a tooth. You might have demonstrated the skill, but you were aware of conversations wrapping up at the group on one of the larger tables.

“I’ll have to check up on that,” Mark chuckled, a strangely velvety sound that made you wonder if it was an effect of the wine. “It’s uncommon for someone to recognize me not for my American movies.”

“You have a lot of them?”

“Of course. You don’t get where I am with a couple of knock-off Ghostbusters plots.”

You shared a smile at that, despite your cardinal sin of never having seen Ghostbusters, but you understood the sentiment.

“And where are you, for you to be in the Astral?”

Tentative with your question, you were half-expecting him to shoot up in surprise because he didn’t know where he was. It was sad, really, and the wave of relief that went through you when he didn’t was even sadder.

“I just left a shoot,” he answered, with a casual tone that you were grateful for. “God awful script, really, but I’m sure I can save it. The director wants sixty different angles for the same line, and none of them go together. I’ll go from angry to miserable to playful in the space of one ramshackle scene.”

Theatre wasn’t your forté, much less big screen acting, but he managed to make you frown from his words alone. You were suddenly glad you weren’t a devoted movie-goer if that was how the good ones went down.

“And this is something you’re passionate about?” you asked, while you checked the other couple in your peripheral.

“Not at all.” The bluntness knocked you back into focusing on him, but he didn’t wear the grimace you expected. Instead, he grinned and answered your silent question, “It’s the money.”

It was shallow – utterly and completely shallow – but you would be a hypocrite if you berated him for it. The whole ‘don’t do something just for the cash’ thing was a nice moral, but it was a fairytale one. Unrealistic at best, dangerous at worst. That ideal had rotted away on your sixteenth birthday, and you thought you were all the better for it.

You thought you were. 

You were.

“I hope it works out well for you then.”

With a respectful nod and most of your curiosity gone, you took a step back, but Mark stopped you in your tracks.

“Oh, before you go,” he trailed off, so you were left to interpret the swirl of his wine glass.

You acknowledged his request and returned to the bar, where you also took care of the larger group that had lined up to pay their bill. After they left and the door was closed behind them, it was only you, Mark, and the couple, the latter of which looked to be getting ready to leave themselves. Getting out the second bottle of wine was a quick task, made even quicker by Mark waving away your attempt to pour him another glass. Instead, he grabbed the neck of the bottle, handed you a credit card, and then adjusted the lapels of his suit. The elegant process surprised you, given he had drunk an entire bottle of wine in the space of a couple hours and, apparently, had no intention of stopping there. It also worried you; you didn’t know how he was getting home, but there was no way he was in a state to drive himself.

You kept your thoughts to yourself as you left to charge the card, though, not wanting to appear presumptuous, especially not to a patron who bought over a hundred dollars’ worth of wine. Just the idea made you balk.

Mark didn’t bat an eye at you handing it back, he just rose from his seat with the egregiously expensive bottle in hand.

“I think you’ll be seeing me more often,” he said. He smiled that same smile from before, seeming completely sober.

“I’m glad to hear that.” You joined your hands at your waist. “Thank you for coming.”

He waved over his shoulder as he started walking, and you could have sworn he was deliberately matching his footsteps to the beat of the music. He even managed to let the door swing closed on the final piano key, as if it were his own little credits song.

You huffed to yourself. With an actor like him, you were probably more right than wrong. Almost as if to support your suspicions, a white square left on the table drew your attention.

This time, you didn’t stop yourself from chuckling, because what you had thought to be a notepad for him to nefariously scribble down your every move was, in reality, one of the napkins from the holder on the table. On it, in handwriting that struggled between a talent for cursive and the unhelpful texture, was a signature.

You pocketed it – if only to have something to laugh at when you were feeling down – and then continued to clean up the table until the couple left behind were ready to pay their bill.

When that time came, you sent them on their way with a smile. The quicker they left, the more time you had to prepare for the following day. The massive paycheque from Mark meant that you could afford to deliver less than perfect customer service in exchange for focusing on your lovely disappearing act, because you were going to get your answers from Wilford even if it killed you.

Or, if the need arose, the sugar-coated magician himself.

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