#whether his mental health issues are real or just excuses

[laststandx3]

When Jesus pretended to be dead for 3 days it's a miracle and everyone is sympathetic. But when I, James Somerton-

[maxdibert]

Having a shitty past is no excuse for being a horrible person, and Snape was a horrible person. Snape fans always try to turn him into a tragic hero, but there was nothing heroic about him when he was just an obsessive bigot who followed a group of genocidal maniacs

Well, I think I’ve said this a million times already and explained in exhausting detail why growing up in a particular environment—lacking social, emotional, economic, or essential support—and being subjected to violence during the most crucial years of cognitive development creates the perfect breeding ground for antisocial behavior. It also makes vulnerable or socially excluded youth prime targets for sectarian groups (whether religious, political, or otherwise) that prey on their situation, offering them promises of protection, safe spaces, surrogate parental figures, or social progress. These groups actively seek out kids with emotional voids caused by dysfunctional family dynamics, minimal to no financial resources, and a profound sense that the system has failed them at every turn. They offer these kids an alternative system—one that gives them a roof over their heads, a hot meal, a place to belong, and people who won’t marginalize them like the rest of society has—at the simple price of blindly following the group’s ideology. And they do it. Of course, they do. Because what other choice do they have? This group gave them life, a place in society, and restored their status as human beings.

But since I’ve spoken about this at length before and about how Severus’s life shaped his decisions, I feel like I’m starting to sound like a broken record. So, since I’m also reading a legal ruling I need to memorize by Friday, I’m going to indulge myself and dissertate as freely as I please—because hey, if you’re going to throw hate, I’m going to grant myself the privilege of replying however I want.

Here’s a question: why does it even matter? Seriously, what does it matter if he was a shitty person? Do you know that people go to space today thanks to the work of physicists and engineers who were literal SS members? That after WWII, all the top scientists, physicists, chemists, and engineers were granted amnesty and fast-tracked into citizenships so they could work on government projects? That people working within a stone’s throw of concentration camps are the pioneers behind some of the greatest technological advances of the 20th century? And you don’t care that the products you consume are derived from the work of collaborators with mass genocide, but you’re upset that people find a fictional character interesting? I don’t want to sound cynical, but honestly, it’s ridiculous to get so morally high and mighty about a character who doesn’t exist and who followed an extremist cult for, what? 3 or 4 years tops? and then canonically worked actively to take it down. If we put Severus in a real-world, wartime context, the guy would be a literal war hero with medals to his name. No exaggeration. If he survived, he’d be recruited with a fat paycheck to work in internal affairs for some major world power’s secret projects. That’s just how the world works.

And yeah, he was obsessive. But in an era where everyone suffers at least one anxiety episode a month, where the best-case scenario is that your panic attacks don’t spiral into chronic mental health issues—can we really judge him for that? Like, most of the people I see being ultra “snater” are folks who openly declare themselves neurodivergent, and one of the common denominators of all neurodivergence is obsessiveness. All of them. Whether it’s chronic anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder or autism. Every single one has an obsessive component. So it’s kind of ironic—and even hypocritical—for people who are themselves pretty obsessive (because let’s face it, we’re all compulsively doomscrolling here to soothe our anxious compulsions with little dopamine hits) to judge this character’s obsessiveness as a negative trait. Maybe let’s take a good look in the mirror, too.

And let me just say, no court would convict Severus of collaborating with a terrorist group. Not a single one. Impossible. Especially since he literally collaborated against said group, so any judge would happily clear him—not after the war, but the moment he struck his deal with Dumbledore. Severus is what’s known as an informant. He worked from the inside, exposed himself to greater dangers than regular agents. Legally speaking, there have been cases where people guilty of heinous crimes—including crimes against humanity—were let off because they provided critical information. So imagine someone like Severus, who, as far as we know, didn’t even kill anyone during his time in the group, willingly spilling the beans and agreeing to work as a spy. He’d be celebrated as a hero of war. Hell, they’d probably buy him a mansion in Florida if he wanted one. That’s just how our system works, and honestly, this kind of moralist posturing is pretty cringy because you’re talking about a guy who literally saved half of magical society’s asses and without whom the kid destined to save the world would’ve died in his first year at school.

You can dislike him or think he’s a jerk, but he was damn good at his job. And compared to the people he’s often unfairly measured against (Sirius, James, Remus...), he actually did something. They didn’t. Absolutely nothing. Contribution: negative one.

[qsycomplainsalot]

I want your take on something given your history-tied art (excuse spelling errors, my hands are very cold:) when does alt-history or general historical fiction writing become “inappropriate?” I’m not talking about political LARP but the portrayal and inclusion of real world historical figures. I like the web series “The Monument Mythos” which includes a President James Dean as a satire of cult of personality political worship of especially authoritarians. And my fav episode of Red Dwarf is the one where JFK was on the grassy knoll. However a lot of HOI4 mods (millions of people such as me suffer from Paradox Strategy Game ADHD thots and prayers) have these issues. Pre rewrite, The New Order (made by self identified leftists) wrote Himmler as a cackling fascist-style-posadist supervillain and Fuhrer Albert Speer as a liberal pro democracy human rights reformer. Even post rewrite issues still exist such as portrayal of politicians who were victims of the Lavender Scare now being perpetrators. I also feel Red Flood has a problem with a dictator Antonin Artaud who was portrayed as a futurist schizo madman when IRL I don’t believe he aligned with the futurists and his mental health issues only developed at the end of his life.

Well my stance on this is, if the message is interesting then at least that's a redeeming quality. Like sure you may be using actual historical people in a video game, but a video game can tell an interesting message just like a book can. Maybe flipping the historical narrative gives an interesting point of view. And then like in a lot of what you just described it's just pulp... which, I appreciate pulp, but when you're making a mockery of people linked with genocide I think it's disrespectful to the people still alive to remember it. Conversely it's very much less dicey to do that with older figures, BECAUSE the defining factor of whether you should or shouldn't is very much "does anyone care about this". If you make a cartoon supervillain out of a nazi that's bad and disrespectful of everyone still living in the aftermath of their actual crimes, but you don't have this problem with say Charlemagne or Gengis Khan destroying entire cultures centuries ago. No specifically with HOI I think the issue is that this game's modding community is a hotbed of people trying to make Germany win WW2, which is a huge red flag.

[genericpuff]

same anon as last ask. I also have to note: i dont think there are any good reasons for domestic abuse. there are none. you said hades didnt deserve to get slapped but then had previously said "as if the victim of the slap wasn’t a guy who was just as if not more abusive than she was in that relationship in his own fucked up way". reading that it does feel like you are saying he deserved to be slap or trying to justify it. maybe you arent tho? btw i dont give a shit about that man lmao

No, and you're right! But that's always the assumption people make whenever defenses for Minthe are made - that by empathizing with Minthe, or by pointing out that Hades was just as shitty in the relationship as she was, you're excusing domestic violence and abuse - and they're very... strawmen assumptions, IMO.

(TW: abuse)

The issue with the Minthe debate is that a lot of people fail to hold every other abusive character in the comic to the same standards they hold Minthe, and they fail to recognize everything that led up to the slap.

Like, when Hecate slapped the shit out of Hades for being into Persephone, where were people then? It was played off for laughs.

But then Minthe slaps Hades once during an emotional breakdown and all of a sudden she's an irredeemable villain.

No one deserves to be physically or verbally assaulted whether or not mental health is involved. But when mental health is a factor in cases like Minthe - which it is because she was initially designed with BPD until Rachel retconned it on Discord - it's one of those "it's a reason, not an excuse" sort of deals. If LO Minthe was being written by someone who actually cared about mental health representation, she would have been given the same opportunity to grow and learn from her mistakes and past transgressions just as Hades and Persephone have been given.

Instead, Minthe is a villain for having a moment of cruelty during a breakdown, and Hades and Persephone never seem to have to own up to the shit they do. Abuse is never okay, but LO is essentially saying "abuse is okay if you're cute and rich and if you make funny meme faces while you do it."

Characters like Minthe are WAY more interesting than Hades and Persephone BECAUSE of their flaws, she isn't peddled as perfect, she's real. Minthe and characters like her are raw and genuine, they don't feel like they're putting on some act of "niceness", they feel like people, people who make mistakes and fuck up and suffer consequences for their decisions and their action. I've seen a lot of people empathize with and enjoy Minthe's character simply because they do see themselves in her, they see her vulnerabilities and her flaws and her fears and recognize that she's not perfect. Some people truly are irredeemable beyond repair, but Minthe... Minthe still had a fighting chance. We had that chance when she first dumped Thetis, it was so cathartic to see her take control of her own situation and healing... but then RS backtracked on it immediately because she accidentally made the character who she knew she wanted Persephone to turn into a plant way too empathetic. So instead she opted to dial up Minthe's shittiness to 1584923108 in order to get her audience to hate her - and to ensure anyone who did still empathize with her look abusive by extension.

She didn't need or deserve 'another chance' from Hades, or Hecate, or the other people who she had already hurt countless times. But she does deserve to give herself the chance to grow and learn and move forward to something better. We all do. It's why forgiveness is one of the most essential first steps in growth.

I'm tired of reading about H x P "forgiving" themselves for what they do with false platitudes of TherapySpeak. Because they never learn, they keep acting like shitheads and much of their behavior comes across as fake and disingenuous, like they're just putting on a show. And that's when they actually acknowledge their behavior, more often than not their bullshit is celebrated.

I don't want to celebrate abuse. I want to see character development. You can't develop or grow if you're deluded into thinking you're not doing anything wrong. Persephone and Hades have nowhere to go. Minthe had an entire life ahead of her away from Hades and Thetis... and we were robbed of the chance to witness it.

But that's just my two cents.

[gumpistol]

Send ❤️ + a URL and I’ll write something nice about them/their blog!

   *clears throat*  WILDER I LOVE YOOOOOU!! 

    wilder is, as they would say, just as "hamster-brained" as me! and if we had giant hamster balls, i imagine we would run into each other and fall over. no real reason, it's just a funny thought in my head! for realsies though, they really do support the chaotic gremlin energy that i want to put out and i appreciate it so so much! they are so incredibly friendly and authentic and fucking hilarious even if they don't think so. it's not uncommon to find myself having long conversations with them about any topic, whether silly muse things, deep character analysis, or just life in general ( we have a few things in common teehee~ ). they are an open and understanding person who has successfully made me cry ( yes wilder, you did it, you achieved that heart event ), and they make it easier and comfortable to want to unmask and be myself. :) 

    that being said, wilder's doflamingo portrayal is *chef's kiss*. i never thought i'd ever really want to write with a doffy, because in all honesty his character scares me, but wilder writes him so well, and they recognize, analyze, and portray all of his mental health issues without trying to redeem him or make excuses for his behaviors as a character. any time they talk about him on the dash or in my DMs, i can't help but nod and say to myself 'yes, yes wilder, you get it!!' i fully trust them to write doflamingo's character in an interesting and appropriate way that gets me excited to write with them! even when their doffy is so incredibly accurate and unsettling and creepy. 

    but i can't not mention that they also write an amazing rosinante?! who makes me feel sunshine and warmth and all smiley when i read wilder's stuff for him — smiley like the smiley potatoes that rosi gave luffy for valentine's day~ i've been giving so much attention to doffy, but i definitely need to write more threads with their rosi as well!

    i know we BOTH get anxious about the fact that we can never shut the fuck up, but i really do appreciate wilder for talking with me a lot and humoring my ideas. they are so willing to listen to me ramble about my OC and to jump into interacting/plotting in some of my verses and ships, and it makes me that much more excited to write as a result! i love them very many and they deserve so much kindness and tenderness and love, as someone who so openly offers it themself.

    anyway, wilder and i are running away together and moving to seattle, and rabbit doesn't know this yet, but he's coming with us. <3

sent by: @enruiinas & @ferromagnetiic for: @mingos

[mental-health-advice]

hi.. can you give me some advice, an answer, anything? i have anxiety and adhd (undiagnosed), and i always procrastinate when i receive a text. it gets so out of hand, almost constantly over almost a month, and then i panic when thinking about responding and how my friends must despise me. what is this mental block that's keeping me from talking to them, and how can i tell them about my issues with texting and self control and procrastination without scaring them away? ive already inconvenienced them so many times, and i just keep apologising over and over again. i feel guilty and afraid that my mental illnesses aren't even real and i have no excuse for my awfulness, i'm sabotaging myself and i don't know how to continue. is this my fault? (i know it is, but i can't even accept it). maybe my mind is just clouded,but thank you for giving me a space to vent here.

Hey there,

This, what you are going through with struggling to reply to txt messages that people send you is definitely not your fault and nor does it define who you really are as a person.

I think it’s really important in this situation to try to take a step back and try to think back to if there was ever any bad experiences you have had whether it was consciously or not and if this is the reasoning behind your current struggles. This may not be the case at all for you but sometimes when we struggle to do something so in your case replying to people’s txt messages, there is a reason behind it whether it be big or small.

I know that for me I too struggle to reply to people’s txt messages/ messenger messages at times as well. For me, it is a fear of being stuck in a really long conversation with them. Now, this is not because I hate or despise them, it’s just where I am at mentally at the moment and I guess isolating just a tad too much! If though I get a message from someone overseas who I know won’t reply to my message until the following early hours of the morning when I am asleep then I find it a bit easier to reply. So I guess what I am asking you is if there are any fears surrounding replying to messages or any fears of bad outcomes from happening if you were to reply.

It sounds like your friends are pretty amazing and patient with you, this is a good thing. And so perhaps just letting them know if you can that currently, you feel unable to reply to their messages but it by no means because you hate them! Is this something that you feel you may be able and comfortable enough to do? It’s OK if it’s not, this is just a suggestion!

In regards to your mental health issues, again it sounds as though you are second guessing yourself. I am wondering and encourage you to see a counsellor or a therapist and try to talk through these issues with them. There may also be an underlying issue that you aren’t even aware of that causes you such distress when you get messages and it comes to replying to them. Again, none of this is your fault and sometimes it can just be a really deep-rooted issue for why things are how they are right now!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[lady-bluebird-luv]

Can we also talk about how Tamlin never fully trusted Feyre? ACOTAR-era I get because of the whole curse thing, but after UTM? Yeah, Tamlin had no real excuse for that, and “wanting her to heal” isn’t good enough. Hybern was a threat, the bargain with Rhys was a threat; she should’ve been informed of what was going on and what their plans were as it directly impacted her. Even during ACOWAR when he makes some effort to include her in meetings he still gets angry at her for stating her opinions and he never tells her that he’s playing double-agent or asks for her help. And he sided with Ianthe over Feyre multiple times despite learning of Ianthe’s treachery. Like dude, cmon. How can you claim to love a woman you don’t fully trust?

Yeahhhhhhhhh, the fandom will debate this until the end of time haha. Tamlin is one of those characters whom I don't really like as a person, but whom I still like as a character because there's so much to unpack and discuss.

I don't think Feylin ever had a healthy communication style. Tamlin also of course had (has? I wish we had more insight into him during and post-ACOSF) anger issues that he shouldn't have taken out on Feyre, and his trauma response strategy (re: not having a strategy) was terrible for both of them.

That being said, IMO, there is a plausible reason why he would keep Feyre in the dark: to keep information from Rhys. As readers listening to Feyre's POV, we understand that Rhys isn't going to use his daemati abilities to steal information about the Spring Court from her. But it's unclear whether Feyre ever tells the Spring Court crew about Rhys training her to shield (not that they would trust her if she said he was), and given Rhys's reputation, I don't think it's unreasonable for Lucien and Tamlin to believe Rhys would manipulate Feyre. That would mean it's also not really a matter of Tamlin not trusting Feyre. It's more about him not trusting Rhys.

If that was Tamlin's reasoning, though, he should have told Feyre that from the beginning. She would still be hurt and frustrated, and ultimately, keeping Feyre out of the loop was a symptom of a wider problem. Plus, she needed much more care for her mental health issues than getting invited to meetings. So, I don't know if this line of reasoning would have necessarily made a difference in the long run. But it would have made sense.

If Tamlin was worried about Rhys spying, he could have also given Feyre her own daemati training. Rhys mentions that people in power usually get some sort of shielding training in case they encounter a daemati, but we basically never see that happen.

People talk about how there's a double standard with Rhys and Tamlin, and that Rhys similarly keeps Feyre in the dark (pun not intended) even though he loves her. That's a whole 'nother can of worms. However, I do think there's something to be said for the fact that Feyre spends months defending someone who is not as they appear (Rhys) and then never considers whether Tamlin might also be playing a long game, especially when he starts doing things which she thinks are out of character, e.g. siding with Hybern.

And yet, after everything she goes through in the Spring Court in ACOMAF, you could also say that she believes Tamlin's fundamentally changed. And so of course she wouldn't expect better from him in ACOWAR after she expected better than she got from him in ACOMAF.

It's also true that Rhys hides stuff from Feyre, especially in the beginning of ACOMAF. IIRC, he shows her blank maps when she comes to the Moonstone Palace and is pretty evasive about his plans. And then, when Feyre tells him to stop hiding stuff from her after the Attor attacks them in the human lands, he doesn't respect that wish. He doesn't tell her that he will, either - he just says "noted," which isn't "yes."

I do think part of why Feyre reacts differently to Rhys is that he's.... kind of transparently nontransparent, if that makes sense? Tamlin doesn't tell Feyre that he's basically going to use her as a symbol of the Spring Court's peace and prosperity after Amarantha's reign. Rhys straight up tells Feyre that he wants to use her as a weapon, but he's honest about it. Even though Feyre isn't thrilled, I think that she kind of respects his shamelessness, in a weird way? His bullshit in ACOSF is another story, but I usually just pretend ACOSF isn't canon TBH. For a lot of reasons, not just because of the Feysand storyline.

That was a ton of super roundabout yapping, but yeah, that's where my head is at. Thanks for indulging me :)

[catholockhart]

Dear Reader,

[TRIGGER WARNING]

I spent some time sorting out how to write this entry.  While the topic at hand is greatly important to me, it is a sensitive one.  Many people respond poorly to the topic in itself, never mind the issues surrounding it.  That issue is death–more specifically, death by su*c*de. 

I've come to a realization, after losing 5 young men in my personal life, that has shaped the way I view society as a whole. It has shaped how I see relationships, death, and behavior.

First, and perhaps the most prevalent issue of all surrounding su*c*de, is how we treat the people who are still living. Oftentimes, we view others as disposable--whether we admit this or not. When we are upset, we feel justified in acting out of rebound anger. When we want something, we seek it out, often with no regard for the others in our lives. Even when those close to us explicitly tell us how they feel, we disregard it as manipulation and selfishness, yet expect them to respect our mental health. We are hypocrites.

Second, (and this may upset some) the new-age "feminist movement" has devolved into an excuse to mistreat men who have done nothing wrong to us [yet]. Let me clarify: in relationships (especially young ones), many women now feel justified in cheating, manipulating, and even abusing their male partners. The excuse is often that men have done these things to women for years, and that it's only fair to now do the same in return. The major issue with this is, this script flip is often not directed at the men who have hurt women. Allow me to fill this in with my own real-life example:

My close friend, Noel* was manipulated, cheated on, explicitly told to kill himself, verbally and physically ab**ed by his girlfriend, Katherine*, until he committed su*c*de. The night of his funeral, Katherine* slept with his best friend. In the weeks following, Katherine* suddenly became a "mental health advocate" and a "victim of social judgment" by those of us who were close friends to Noel*. Even now, nine years later, she preaches about how perfect women are (and how lowly men are), but will still post memorial photos of Noel from when they were in a "happy relationship".

Now more than ever, perhaps partially thanks to this new "feminist movement" we're doing the opposite of what we swore to do just ten years ago: begin fighting to defend men's mental health just the same as we do women's.

Lastly, death is the means by which others often money-grab or attention-seek. This is something I have seen first-hand, more times than I can count; I've even seen neighbors ransack each other's houses before their families get there, once someone in the neighborhood passes away. If someone passes (especially by su*c*de), suddenly everyone is seeking out one or the other, and even those who hardly knew the victim are now their lifelong best friend. Death tears apart families, friendships, and personal lives in every way. Yet, beyond the simplicity of death, we as humans find new cruel ways in which we can desecrate the memory of those we once loved.

All of this being said, there is a difference between correlation and causation. There is a difference between victim-blaming and truth telling. Until you have all of the facts, you should never assume even the slightest thing, about any situation.

I can only hope that one day we change. I can hope that we begin to defend mental health for all, and not just those who fit our political or religious narratives. I hope that we become kinder, and more genuine in all that we do. And I hope that we see death as an opportunity to love and to live, as we were meant to.

I hope that you find peace in knowing that everything is temporary. I hope you find yourself capable of laughing in the face of difficulty. I hope you know how loved you are, by those you can see and those you cannot.

[spillingteawitht]

GARY WAYT SEEN?!

This update begins yesterday 06/13/2024, as fans and worried family members of Gary Wayt have been keeping an eye open to find Gary after he went missing on 06/09/2024, after an altercation with Amber Portwood, and allegedly left with only his wallet and keys in a grey Nissan rouge SUV, Gary was essentially gone without much a trace. Well, yesterday it was reported that Gary was seen allegedly on video in a Verizon store, I'm guessing to get a new phone seeing as he was said to have left his other phone at the Airbnb rental he was staying with Amber to celebrate her brother's wedding.

Now this latest update is from Perez Hilton's popular blog, saying that Gary has been seen in New Mexico (yes I give credit to sources.) There's a lot of speculation among fans and Amber haters alike, as to what happened that caused Gary to leave. As we know everything we see whether from Teen Mom update pages, or any other tabloid site, Is only a rumor and never confirmed true unless spoken about by the people involved, I'm assuming you're watching this closely for many reasons, curiosity, or hate watching, or genuine concern. Either way, it's here.

Also according to Teen Mom Updates on Facebook, yesterday Maci Bookout flew to North Carolina to support and be there for Amber during this difficult time, regardless of what we think of Amber, It's genuinely good to see that the women of Teen Mom are supporting each other and being there in the hard times and cheering for each other in the good times.

Hopefully, Gary has gotten in touch with his family since going to the Verizon store in Oklahoma, but to my knowledge that hasn't happened yet. We still don't have many updates about this situation as of now, as you know we're all watching this in real-time and finding out together, again I just want to remind you to be praying for Amber and Gary, or sending positive vibes or whatever it is you do, I know not many people like Amber, but regardless of that, this isn't something anyone should be going through.

As you know I'll keep updating as I learn more, I will be praying for not only Amber but also Gary's family. Regardless of your feelings towards Amber, there's a whole family affected by this, people who love and miss Gary, people who we don't know, don't know their history, but people missing their son, cousin, brother uncle, etc.

Amber as you know is trying to be better than her past, so who are we to hold that on her? I know that won't be a popular thing for me to say, but that's fine. If you watch the show regularly you know Amber has been struggling with many mental health issues from the beginning, that may trigger her to have larger reactions than what you or I may have.

Teen Mom is, unfamiliar is still airing on MTV and it's called now "Teen Mom The Next Chapter" it follows some of the original mom's and some from Teen Mom 2,and Amber Maci and Catelynn are still apart of this show, and in a recent clip from a new episode Amber is seen showing Leah, who is now 15 years old, a picture of Gary at Leah's birthday dinner, making the moment about her rather than Leah, things escalated and Leah asked her step mother Kristina if they could be excused and go to the bathroom.

Now I can only assume what led to Gary taking off from this Airbnb and leaving his phone and amber behind, but until we actually know what's been going on we can only assume. So all that being said, let me know what you think in the comments

[rosiewitchescottage]

I've heard this mentioned around the place.

Because at 7:30 Mr Rogers explains his song lyrics

Boys are boys from the beginning. If you're born a boy then you stay a boy.

Girls are girls from the start. If you're born a girl then you stay a girl.

Of course there are people going ballistic.

There are those saying that this is just used as fuel for transphobia.

And I'm sure that there are people who are doing so. I don't excuse them.

But It Doesn't Mean That What Mr Rogers Said Isn't Right or Good.

Because there's a wide difference between countering gender theory with biological facts, and being transphobic.

Either being trans is rooted in biological facts, or it isn't real, because gender theory is just that, an idea to explore.

If Gender Dysphoria makes maleness therefore manhood or femaleness therefore womanhood unbearable.

Then I can absolutely understand the male living as a woman to distance herself from maleness, or the female living as a man to distance himself from femaleness.

That is rooted in biological reality. The male is a trans woman, not a woman, the female is a trans man not a man.

And this is perfectly OK.

There's no lesser than or greater than. There's just the acknowledgement of biological reality, and how it works.

Mr Rogers is making it clear that whilst a boy will always be a boy, because he's male and his sex won't change.

Whilst a girl will always be a girl because she's female and her sex won't change.

That doesn't mean that the child can't become whatever he/she has the ability and passion to become.

Because he/she most certainly can.

Mr Rogers is just making it clear that we shouldn't be telling children things about their bodies that isn't true.

A feminine or androgynous boy is still a boy

A masculine or androgynous girl is still a girl.

In 1980 we were playing around with these ideas. But they were still a long way from being mainstream.

All this is merely biological fact versus gender theory.

And unless one aims to deny all trans people their rights, then this isn't transphobic.

As the beginning of gender theory came from a monster named Dr John Money, who both lied that his excuse for a failed experiment was a roaring success, and sexually abused both his subjects, who later committed suicide.

I'm not sure whether Mr Rogers would have any truck with it.

Yes. John Money had a terrible childhood, and no doubt Mr Rogers would mourn that.

But the man still decided to behave in this diabolical manner, causing suffering in others on the way.

There have been proper transgender studies. But they were a whole other game of marbles, meticulous care taken off the subjects, the strictest insistence that there be no mental health issues, history of abuse etc, that might otherwise be affecting the young person's self perception.

Plus, those who carried out the study are livid that their work is being used in such a cavalier manner.

They know that the hormones they used are not to be handed out lightly.

And certainly not without making sure that they and not something else entirely, aren't want the patient truly requires.

[tentacle-therapissed]

Your first mistake was listening to what tiktok has to say about Bojack Horseman.

But seriously, tiktok doesn’t know how to have nuanced discussions about media or formulate their own opinions instead of just echoing what they hear everyone else say. Nobody in Bojack Horseman is a good person because nobody in real life is a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person. Diane even talks about this. Bojack is so obsessed with knowing whether she thinks he’s good or bad and she can never give him an answer because she just doesn’t believe in that. We all do shitty things in our lives. Todd has done shitty things too. So has Sarah Lynn and Princess Carolyn and Wanda and all the other characters that people will try to treat like perfect angels while villanizing everyone else.

If you listen to or read any of Raphael Bob-Waksberg’s interviews about his show, his INTENTION was to make Bojack a relatable character, ESPECIALLY to people with mental health issues. You can relate to a character without excusing all of their actions, which is a very present theme in season 5. I’m not going to spoil the show for you but they take great care to tell people who might relate to Bojack that it is never too late to turn your life around and it’s always worth it to keep going. People on tiktok say the ‘point of the show’ is that Bojack is terrible and you should hate him and not relate to him, but here’s what Raphael ACTUALLY had to say when asked about the point of the show:

“I waver between the poles of radical forgiveness and understanding and a righteous quest for justice and retribution.” x

i've been watching bojack horseman for the last few months and i've just started the fifth season. i see myself in bojack quite a lot, does that make me an asshole? i've watched a lot of tiktoks about the show and every comment i've read has talked about how all the characters are quite shitty except for todd. i see myself in todd too and it's like a line that i'm standing in the middle of. i've asked people around me and it's always a mixed opnion so am i a bad person or a good one? i mean who decides that i am a bad person or a good person. i can't tell and i really don't have anyone to guide me on this. is there something in the middle?

[nim-lock]

WHO HURT BOBA WHY WAS HE HAVING SELF LOATHING THOUGHTS

YOU KNOW WHAT, I’ve impulse written enough for this to be a second prompt fill for Day 5, so hello @bobadinweek Day 5 Hurt/Comfort Part 2 !!!

Word count: 1171 [content warning: MENTAL HEALTH]

The entire day had felt off. It felt like many other days, in the endless drudgery of being alive. Boba woke to overcast skies over his area of Tatooine, normally a source of relief and contentment. He moved his body through the daily litany of meetings, beat up a comically ill-prepared assassin, and showed up to game night, organized by Fennec and some of the full-time staff. Din waved at him from his spot on the floor, and Boba's eyes skittered away from the helmet's visor.

Nothing was wrong.

Boba couldn't enjoy it.

It had been, by all accounts, an entirely mundane day. The issues that cropped up were all solvable. Boba Fett had consumed an adequate amount of nutrients over the course of the day, and he was now partaking in a social activity. This was fine.

As Fennec went through the instructions for the newly released bantha-befriending board game, Boba became increasingly aware of Din's presence by his shoulder. Or perhaps he was projecting, and Din wasn't paying extra attention to him at all. After all, their relationship was a relatively recent development. They really didn’t know each other well enough. 

The game progressed; pieces were taken, traded, and moved; Boba made the appropriate noises of encouragement, amusement, and outrage. He interacted with Din a reasoned amount. He watched himself go through the motions as though through a thick haze of fog. Boba put his pieces back after the first game and excused himself, citing a need for routine weapons maintenance. Fennec flipped him off, and told him she’d see him the next morning.

--

Boba sits heavily on his mattress and lets his face contort into the positions he’d held off on doing the entire day. He takes off his armor with the routine amount of reverence befitting belongings of his father. He’s not sure how he feels about the lack of plated pressure on his chest. He hears a ragged gasp, and a sound like a wounded deer, and it takes longer than it should for him to realize it’s coming from his own wretched vocal chords. He’d make an effort to stop making this ambient soundtrack of his life, but it feels like more energy than he can give at the moment. 

There’s a knock on the door.

Boba schools his face back into a semblance of composure, and is momentarily comforted by the knowledge that the soundproofing in his room is solid. He sees Din’s helmet through the peephole. 

“Hello,” he says, opening the door a crack. He is confronted by smooth beskar. Din has taken off his armor, with just the helmet remaining. For the second time that night, Boba’s not sure if he can read the man’s body language. Or rather, clues point to Din exhibiting the emotion of “concern”, but that can’t be right. 

“Can I come in?” Din says. “Are...you okay? Is there anything I can do?”

“No,” says Boba, roughly. Before he remembers the first part of what Din said. “Yes—you can come in. If you want. I don’t think you can help me, however. I’m not good company right now.” 

Din regards Boba for a long moment, then slowly walks into Boba’s room. The room is sparse, and Boba is glad that it does not reflect the chaos of his mental state. He’s never had many belongings, what with his ready-to-go-at-any-moment lifestyle and understanding that attaching sentiment to too many things was even more loss to bear.

Boba remains standing near the door. “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to see how you were doing,” says Din, awkwardly, fidgeting with the seam of his belt. “You don’t have to tell me anything, of course, but...I’m trying. To be a good friend.” 

Boba stares resolutely at a plant to Din’s left, debating whether he should tell Din nothing. Whether he should just laugh it off and pretend everything was alright. But he’s not sure if that would help. He doesn’t want to see Din’s regard for him gradually deteriorate as he realizes that Boba could never be the right person capable of caring for him properly. 

The air is tense. Boba knows he himself is the one making it so. If Boba’s going through this, he might as well rip the bandaid off the entire way. So he can lay down and fuck himself up and force himself to pick up the jagged pieces, and know, that he is destined to be alone. With the vaguely masochistic satisfaction of knowing he's about to twist a knife into his own figurative insides, he speaks.

“I’m rarely happy,” Boba blurts out. “I mean. You—you met me at a point where I was. Happy. Content. As good as it could have been under the circumstances. But that’s not me all the time. Most of the time, it’s like..... this.” 

“Alright.” Din says, levelly. Waiting for him to go on. 

“I’ll fuck this up. Life continues to happen and it’s not bad, but it feels like I can’t...appreciate it. It feels like I should. It feels like I should be glad to have lived beyond all expectations. I don’t—you know—I. I know I brought down the mood of the entire gathering today. I know I made everyone uncomfortable. And I can’t help that. It feels like I should be in control of my thoughts and actions but. There’s only so much I can pretend to be...a person that people want...to be near.” Boba’s heart rate feels way too high. His breath is too shallow. He thinks a heart attack right now would be quite nice, actually. So he can get out of this situation. His eyes are unseeing. Is his vision fading?

His brain is full of bantha wool and Boba knows some time has passed because the next time he is aware of his own skin, he is sitting down, and Din has his hand in his hand, and a hand almost touching his face, and. And it almost feels like reality is real, just at those prickling points of contact. Din’s talking. He’s been talking and Boba didn’t process a word of it before now. 

“Hey—look at me—listen; you matter. Alright? Remember this. Take a deep breath for me.” 

Boba doesn’t think he has the energy. Everything feels too much. 

“It’s... okay,” Din says, a stilted attempt at saying the right things to make someone feel better, “Or maybe it’s not, but I’m not giving up on you just because you happen to be a person, Boba.” 

Boba...sits. And tilts his head forward, and leans into Din’s shoulder. Arms encircle his body, and he breathes. It smells like laundry detergent, sweat, and a lingering hint of metal. Boba doesn’t know what he’ll say after this moment passes. He doesn’t know the right thing to say, and... maybe he doesn’t have to know. He breathes, and feels the pounding in his chest fade to a background lull. This? This is good. 

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

honestly, im really, genuinely curious, and I’d like to hear you talk about it. Why aren’t psychopaths an actual thing?

Yes! Thank you for asking! So, let’s start with the most obvious question: what is a psychopath? You certainly hear the word a lot. People will also frequently say sociopath. They’re used kind of similarly, mostly. What’s the difference?  Well, this is the problem we run into. There isn’t any fixed definition. The usual authority on these issues is the DSM, or Diagnostic Standard Manual. It provides names and agreed on definitions that accredited psychologists will diagnose. There’s no category in it called “psychopathy” or “sociopathy”. No similar organization has such a definition.  But isn’t there a checklist or something? Yes, there is, but it’s not put out by an organization like the DSM. It was written by a random psychiatrist as a proposal and it hasn’t found universal acceptance. There are a few writers who write about psychopaths and sociopaths, but all of them have their own definitions, meaning there’s no one universal definition you can pin it down to. That means it can’t be diagnosed or even defined, really.  But that’s not the biggest problem with the idea of psychopathy and sociopathy. It probably wouldn’t be too hard for the psychiatrists who write about it to get together and agree on a single defined symptom list. There even are already two diagnoses in the DSM that people who worked on it say were meant to be their stab at representing what a diagnosis for the general idea of sociopathy/psychopathy might look like: antisocial personality disorder and dissocial personality disorder. Those diagnoses are defined, but not officially linked to the terms psychopath and sociopath.  So what’s the bigger problem? Well, to answer that we, first have to look a little closer at what a diagnosis actually is. The usual idea people have is that every diagnosis represents some kind of brain, something real inside the mind of the person it’s a diagnosis of. According to this idea, a diagnosis has a sort of causal power: you act in certain ways because you have a certain type of brain.  But that idea is more like the GOAL of psychiatry, not the reality. In reality, especially for personality disorders, it’s the opposite. Rather than people acting a certain way because they have a diagnosis, they are diagnosed because they act a certain way. Every diagnosis is a list of behaviors, and if you meet a certain number of them, you’re eligible for the diagnosis. But it’s hard to know if people act that way because of that diagnosis, that is, that it represents something about their brains or if it’s just an arbitrary grouping. It would be as if we grouped animals based on what they DID rather than whether they can breed. “Skittering” might represent a meaningful group of animals, but would “swimming”? Or “hiding?” Maybe several different diagnoses represent various different ways people deal with a specific kind of brain. Maybe many different types of brain can lead people to act in similar ways, and get lumped into one diagnosis. So the question is: when we look at the sorts of behaviors that people tend to associate with the terms psychopathy/sociopathy, is there reason to think that they represent a sort of brain, as there is with, for instance, the term autism, or is there reason to suspect that many kinds of brains could behave that way and the behaviors are only associated in some other way? And HERE is the big problem with psychopathy/sociopathy. Especially when you look into the history of the terms and the research that the people who use it did, it becomes very obvious that what psychopathy really is is “commits crimes disorder”.  One of the big names in popularizing the term psychopath is Robert D. Hare. And guess where most of his research is done? Prison. And if you look at his checklist, his criteria are a mix of criteria from several other diagnoses with criteria that are subtle variants on “commits crimes”. And what other researchers, including one I’m about to quote, have found is that what happens is a lot of prisoners with completely different disorders that have been involved in their criminal history check off the criteria that are just doing crimes and the criteria that are from the issue they actually have, and thus get labeled with psychopathy rather than their real issue. Dorothy Otnow Lewis, a professor of psychiatry at Yale writes: “To this writer’s mind, psychopathy and its synonyms (e.g., sociopathy and antisocial personality) are lazy diagnoses. Over the years the authors’ team has seen scores of offenders who, prior to evaluation by the authors, were dismissed as psychopaths or the like. Detailed, comprehensive psychiatric, neurological, and neuropsychological evaluations have uncovered a multitude of signs, symptoms, and behaviors indicative of such disorders as bipolar mood disorder, schizophrenia spectrum disorders, complex partial seizures, dissociative identity disorder, parasomnia, and, of course, brain damage/dysfunction.“  And this gets to the darkest part of psychopathy/sociopathy, which is its use in the law. Despite the fact that it’s not a diagnosis, people like Hare get brought in to testify about it at trials and it increases the penalties for offenders. Psychopathy is an astonishingly, I would argue, suspiciously convenient disorder for our prison system. Once someone is deemed a psychopath, there’s no use treating them or giving them sympathetic therapy. The only answer is locking them up, because that’s all you can do with a psychopath. And fortuitously, that’s already the path of least resistance for the prison system.  So, tldr, psychopathy isn’t a real diagnosis. It doesn’t have an official definition. And the definitions people have made are suspicious. Often the people they call psychopaths have other things going on, and the term psychopath seems almost tailor made to excuse the prison system for its cruelty and failure to do anything but lock up people with numerous mental health issues. 

[gecko-s-greenhouse]

So, I'm reading this webtoon. It's incredibly well written, and depicts the imperfections of human interactions with beautiful illustrations. I absolutely want to give it more traffic, so I'll tell you what it's called: Big Ethel Energy.

It deals with issues like body image, self confidence, friendship, loyalty, mental health, healthy relationships. The list goes on and on, and to keep going would be to make a list of everything that we experience in daily life.

But obviously I don't use this platform solely to sing praises. Today I want to complain about an awful group of people who lurk in the comments of this webtoon, and I want to do it in a way that protects me from getting eaten alive (again).

Spoilers for chapter 51 and earlier. You've been warned! 

Two of the current topics being handled in the webtoon are: consent and forgiveness.

The context: Betty and Seth are two main-adjacent characters. Seth has been flirting with Betty (his employee and friend) for an indeterminate period of time but doesn't want to pursue a romantic relationship with her. Lots of mixed signals. Betty has an unrequited crush on Seth.

It remains unclear/open for discussion/ open for readers to project their own experiences on whether Seth is aware of Betty's feelings for him, if he's responsible for not overtly discouraging her if he does, and how long this has been going on for (you can tell who's a Seth apologist by how they answer these questions)

Things came to a head a couple episodes ago when Betty was mad at Seth for saying some pretty judgemental things about her best friend, he made a grand gesture of apologizing to her, Betty was overcome with emotion, kissed Seth, and Seth turned her down, drawing professional boundaries. Betty turned to her best friend for emotional support in these trying times, and in an effort to help Betty get over Seth, her best friend encouraged her to say such things as, "SETH IS THE WORST!"

Here I'll say that the commenters on this webtoon are pretty confused. Unlike other webtoons where the OTP is clear and there's lots of consent and positive feedback, things are pretty messy in this one. Characters are imperfect, and it's an excellent reflection of real life. I applaud the author, but this has also proven divisive among the commenters.

The consensus among the commenters is that in this situation, Betty has committed sexual assault and Seth is the victim.

Yes, you read that right.

The commenters also take issue with Betty calling Seth "the worst" seemingly because he drew some boundaries.

Nevermind that Seth has been stringing her along for an indeterminate period of time. Nevermind that supportive friends sometimes say absurd things to help you feel better. Nevermind that "the worst" might not be referring to the boundaries at all, but to his mixed signals.

Betty has been made out to be the Devil incarnate and Seth has been given a pass in this situation because he's "the victim."

Seth is not the victim. He had a hand in creating the situation, whether he was aware of it or not. And, just in case you haven't read my entire library of posts complaining about people with bad behavior: "not knowing" does not excuse bad behavior.

This goes for Betty too - she wasn't aware of Seth's boundaries, she crossed one, and now has to make amends. But it's clear that Seth isn't holding that against her (even if the commenters absolutely are) - he's forgiven her in the next chapter and is asking after her well-being.

So, I, being an idiot, hopped into the flame war and called for empathy for Betty. In response, I was called a sexual assault apologist. 

Yes, you read that right.

In response to my call for empathy, I got the opposite. I had the door of discourse slammed in my face in the worst possible way.

So I'll tell you now, my captive audience:

I called on the commenters to consider if they'd ever been strung along, if they'd ever had an unrequited crush, if they'd ever experienced a grand gesture. In response, the comment section made excuses for Seth.

Seth! Is! Not! A! Victim!

I called on the commenters to consider how they would react if their longtime crush rejected them. What kind of support they would like from their friends, what kind of support they would give to their friend. How quickly they themselves would be able to spring back from such a rejection and carry on working as colleagues.

I called on the commenters to consider their own lives. To consider if they'd ever been encouraged to, "Go for it! Seize the day!" and had that backfire in a way they needed to repair. Whether they'd want their repairable mistakes held against them as a black mark on their record, as a permanent stain showing that they should never again be given a second chance.

I believe in second chances. I believe in forgiveness, in empathy, in understanding that as humans we will make mistakes, and that we have a right to move forward from them, to not be made to feel as less-than by a crowd of holier-than-thous.

(I also believe in pattern recognition, but that's a discussion for another day.)

[thegnomelord]

Don't mind me, just gonna defend my friend

Who cares about the size of your server? Whether it's 1 person, 10 people, 1k or 100k, that's no excuse for poor moderation and selective cencorship. If you can't moderate properly, get more or better mods and stop using the number as an excuse.

For someone who complains about a person "throwing around buzzwords and emotional manipulation and call it facts" and supposedly lying about your friend, you sure have no problem and love doing the same. Anti this, anti that, calling Zyo emotionally manipulative and shit, actively insulting and slandering people you don't agree with but bitching about them, supposedly, doing the same. Bro, you don't provide any receipts that Zyo started any 'witchunt'. Also, "Is actively pretending to have DiD/Dissociative Identity Disorder, generally only interacts with fandom to be a massive" and how do you know??? A person's mental health is a private thing and what proof do you want? Their medical history? Should they give you their address and social security number too? You are actively spreading misinformation and pushing your beliefs as fact, you fucking hypocrite.

3. Someone not being active in a server for a long time doesn't mean they're sitting in the corner doctor Evil style planning how to start drama. I'm in servers that I only respond to once or twice a month because life gets in the way or I'm tired or don't have anything to add to the conversation. But I still get notifications from the discord or look at the chat to see what other ppl are saying, so for you to say Jellycakes was planning to start drama because they're not active on a server is utter bitch behaviour.

4. About the 'nothing in that single comment was informational' bro didn't you even ASK Or let Jelly provide proof. It's reasonable to be skeptical but you didn't ask for any proof and by the timestamp of the messages you can see that you guys IMMEDIATELY just went 'mmhph DeLeTe ThIs'. You can't rage on a post demanding proof when you don't even give the person TIME to give proof. Also, for someone who said there's absolutely no politics allowed, you lot sure love letting politics in your chat.

Really left politics and irl issues at the door huh?

5. I don't agree nor condone people receiving death threats, but if you are going to say Leech or someone else is receiving death threats, give me proof. Leech has deleted all his socials, your cod server is dead quiet, death threats are a horrible thing but if you are going to say that certain people are sending you death threats, give fucking proof of those people sending you death threats because right now it's incredibly Sus that the people you dislike are conveniently sending you death threats. In your own words, you're a coward.

6. Your server has a 'stance' against politics but allows hate speech on your server, WHICH IS IN DIRECT VIOLATION TO DISCORD'S TOS. I find that just fucking haliariuos that I , apperantly, can't talk about Palestine or Israel, but I can unironically call a gay person a faggot or say women deserve to be in the kitchen if I just spoiler it

7. You do not know if those people do or don't do more for their activism beyond the internet. Maybe they don't have the means to be active politically in real life, maybe they are active both on the internet and real life. You just don't know. Saying that their activism is invalid because it's on the internet and yours is, supposedly, in real life, reeks of pick me energy.

Writing a massive CoD tea post, if you don't want to see it please block the tag CallofDrama. Love you guys take care of yourselves watch this space.

[uhthor]

I didn’t even watch IM 3, but what pisses me off about it is that Tony has PTSD. Yes, it’s important to show that characters have ptsd, it’s real and should be normalized more. But ONLY TONY? A whole movie dedicated to it? Tony’s the only one who was shown to have ptsd, and that fueled the fire of his fans using it as an excuse. His stans say Steve doesn’t have it????? Thor, Nat, Bruce, BUCKY? Tony’s fans care more about Tony’s mental health issues than they do Bucky’s, the longest serving POW who was regularly tortured for 7 decades

THANK YOU!!!

as someone who has had an anxiety disorder for her entire life, people praising the very basic and minimal representation of anxiety in im3 as if it’s revolutionary and the most honest portrayal they’ve ever seen upsets me.

having a portrayal of anxiety or ptsd like they did in im3 and openly labelling it as such takes away the reality. ptsd and anxiety portrayals like that of thor in infinity war and endgame (albeit it mostly terrible in the latter) were more honest. it’s messy and it’s never the same as someone else’s experience. tony’s experience was too clear cut and polished to be that realistic for me. yes it was great to have open portrayals of mental health in the media in 2013 but to say that it was the best/praise it to such high levels? not for me

tony stans irritate the fuck out of me when they say shit like he is the only one who has suffered... it’s not even a case of whether you like another character more and want to defend them (aka me with thor or bruce) it’s just the logical example of this character has had a very hard time and it should be recognised and put up there as one of the worst in place of a privileged billionaire white boy who actively chooses to ignore solving most of his problems and refuses to try and better himself. examples include: bucky, thor, steve, natasha, yelena, bruce, carol, sam, loki, hope, wanda (even though i despise her and it’s a can of worms we do not want to open rn) and so many other characters. like... these people have suffered on another level, some way more than others.

it’s cheap and nasty to try and belittle the suffering of other characters in favour of one of your own faves, but to actively ignore that other characters have it worse and continually preach that your fave has it the worst when it’s not true really irritates me. just because they haven’t had a movie or six hours of a tv show to explore their grief and ptsd and other issues, doesn’t mean they aren’t there... of course it is subjective how you interpret characters and storylines but some things (such as the tragedy of bucky barnes and his brainwashing and torture for seven decades, thor losing everyone he ever loved and cared for, natasha being tortured and turned into a weapon since childhood) are absolute and come nowhere near the suffering of other characters (tony and his supposed “worst suffering in the whole mcu”) it’s a different ball game entirely