#where's not!sasha you may be wondering

[sugar--brown]

A bit of fluff

Because we need more fluff to balance all the angst people are creating with the cat!Martin AU by @ultramarinaa

I'm preparing a proper big fic, but meanwhile I made this.

What were the chances to read a book made of only two pages and turning into a cat because of it only a few months after your promotion?

Not much. Martin was sure of that. As sure as the fact, he was in deeeep troubles. What would his boss say?! Turning into a cat should be pretty high on the scale of being unprofessional. Especially after introducing himself as the incompetent fool who let dogs run free in the archives! Jon will be so disappointed and annoyed! He was toasted!

Maybe... Maybe he could fix this? Maybe if he could read the book backward…?

Martin took a tentative step forward and immediately face-planted on the floor. Right. Four legs instead of two. That was great.

He meowed - gosh! he meowed! - pathetically before standing up, ready to make another attempt. But this time, everything was blurry.

… why was everything blurry?

Oh. His glasses. Right. Face-planting on the floor meant losing your glasses. Strange thing that his clothes disappeared with his body, while his glasses stayed the same…

Ah. Great. He couldn't put them back on. Because he was a cat. Without hands. Just very big and soft paws.

He really needed to fix this before anyone sees him!

Staggering a little, Martin began to walk cautiously toward the evil book. He was scared - heck! even terrified - of it. But what could it do more? Turning him into another type of cat?

With apprehension, Martin used his front right par to hit the book quickly. Nothing happened. Ready to bolt backward, he very slowly peaked at the fourth cover.

A wonderful fairytale where only the purrest love can help the hero to save the damsel.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Very funny.

Annoyed, Martin hit the book so hard that it flew away, landing between cardboard boxes full of statements. Great! He was already sick of it!

Two hands grabbed him and lifted him up.

“Hello!” cooed the stranger who just grabbed him without any warning.

Martin meowed and hissed in panic, squirming with all his might. But the stranger hugged him against their chest and started scratching him behind the ears. Oooooooh that was good…

“There, there, it's okay now. You are safe. I don't know how you got here, but I promise I won't hurt you.”

Wait. That voice… was it…?!

“I'm Jonathan, what's your name?”

Martin's eyes grew wide in shock. That was Jon! His boss! His prickly, cold-hearted, boss! And he was cooing at him like he was the cutest thing in the world.

Oh gosh… he was in deep troubles.

“Hey bossman! Did you find Martin? He was supposed to-... is that a cat?”

Tim appeared around the corner, clearly amused by the scene. Jon immediately stopped cooing and scratching Martin's ears, becoming all tenser and professional.

“Ah. Yes, it is… it is a cat. I caught it before it can do any damages.”

Hey! Martin wouldn’t have done any damages! He knew he wasn't the most graceful person, but he wasn't that clumsy. …right?

“What are you all doing back there? Oh! That's a very cute cat, Jon.”

And here was Sasha. Each second was more humiliating than the last. Martin really wanted to run and hide somewhere dark, tiny and safe right now.

“Do you know where it comes from?” asked Sasha, getting closer to inspect Martin.

“No, I just heard him. He doesn't have any tattoos or tag on him.” answered Jon, putting unconsciously a possessive hand on Martin's back. “I have not the faintest idea how he arrived here.”

“Ha! You know cats, boss, they are real champions when they want something!” laughed Tim.

“Champion… that's a good name.”

“Wow! You are already naming him? You move fast!” teased Tim with a smirk.

“We can't keep him, he may have an owner already.” added Sasha, more pragmatic.

“W-well… We can't call him ‘the cat’, that would be properly ridiculous.”

If Martin didn't know better, he would have thought Jon was embarrassed. But he couldn't, he was never embarrassed. On the other hand, he hadn’t reacted like this with the dog so…

While he was lost in his thoughts about his ridiculously cute boss, the group had moved on back to the break room.

Wait. What about the book?! And his glasses?!

Martin was almost able to escape, but Jon's soft hands captured him over his shoulder at the last second. But that didn't stop him to agitated his fluffy paws with a few panicked meows.

“What's wrong, Champion?” asked Jon, looking back with surprise. “Oh, good spot! There are glasses on the floor.”

Martin had half a hope to see Jon putting his glasses on his nose so he could see, but of course, he didn't. Instead, he inspected them before putting them in his pocket with a disgusted face.

“Aren't they Martin's?” asked Tim with curiosity.

“Yes.” groaned Jon. “He must have lost them while clumsily searching for a statement. I still don't understand why he had been assigned here. He clearly didn't have the competences to-... hey!”

Martin had escaped Jon's grasp with a hiss. He knew he wasn't good at his job, but that didn't mean he wanted to hear it!

Before Jon could grab him again, Martin flew under a shelf, deep enough so he couldn't be grabbed. He heard the others shout in surprise and agitation, but he was too agitated to pay attention.

He vaguely heard Tim saying to “cut him some slack” and Sasha guessing that “champion surely needs space”. And Martin decided to do just that. He would stay here until everyone was gone, and then he would find the book to turn himself back.

Hours went by. And Martin must have snooze at some point because when he focused again, everything was calm and quiet. Tentatively, he came out.

Nothing to worry about. The lights were off and Tim and Sasha weren't here any more. So, he walked as silently as possible to where he had launched the book.

Until he heard a groan.

Martin froze. And slowly, oh so slowly, turned his head. 

Jon was still here. In fact, Jon was so focused on his work he hadn’t noticed Martin. So he could have continued, but… something was off. Jon didn't look… healthy. Or at least less than usual.

He seemed barely able to not passed out. He was pale, sweaty and his eyes were unfocused.

… when was the last time had Jon eaten? They didn't see him going out of his office at lunch…

With a sigh, Martin shook his head and walked to the break room's fridge. To be fair, he was a bit hungry himself. And he knew his fish salade was in here. He always brought double portions in case someone forgot their lunch.

It took a lot of time and effort, but Martin was able to open the fridge and to drag the dish to Jon's office.

“Champion? You're out? What are you… oh.”

Jon stood up quickly, too quickly because he needed a few second to make the world stopped spinning. Then, he knelt in front of Martin.

“Where did you… oh, you must be hungry. Right. Sorry… I'm a bit rusty at taking care of a cat. You are really smart, you know? Stealing Martin's food… I'm sure he wouldn’t mind, since he left work early to go find a replacement for his glasses.”

Martin huffed in annoyance. Why did Jon was so… harsh? Sure, he was a fool but still…

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. Let me open this.”

That what he did, but he didn't eat. Maybe he needed some encouragements? Martin his best imitation of pleading kitty eyes while hitting softly the salad.

“You… want to share?”

Jon visibly melted, almost like he was ready to cry. But instead, he just sat on the floor and began eating the veggies while giving the sardines to Martin.

They shared in silence. But it was the best interaction Martin had Jon since… since ever! So he wouldn’t complain.

When they finished, Jon suddenly bent down and gently hugged Martin, bumping his head with his.

“Thank you…” he whispered in a broken voice.

And the genuine, honest, sweet, smile of Jon made Martin think that everything wasn't so terrible.

[levi501ackerman]

Living In A Dream | Levi x Reader Pining

masterlist

Summary: Levi refuses to date a subordinate so instead he pines over you. Kind of ridiculous how much he overthinks every interaction with you.

Word Count: 2.6k

Megan's Note: Song that I correlate this one shot is "Dream Girl" by Crisaunt if you were wondering. In all writing, I typically get hung up on a lyric or a rhythm thing. 2nd fic. posted: 4/17/24. Writing more.

Levi and the other section commanders sat at a table dining and chattering about the new scouts. Erwin was discussing, negotiating, and dividing the recruits under different leaders. A few went to Levi, some under Miche, and some to Hange. 

The scout regiment was having dinner and he was looking around the room for you. He noticed that you have not come in yet. You usually were with Sasha, Jean, and Connie and they were not at dinner yet. Sasha, Jean, and Connie were moved to Levi’s special operations squad. Honestly, he was worried that you would be placed in his squad. Levi felt that if you were his subordinate, he wouldn’t be able to focus or speak clearly. 

When you were around, he was too nervous that he might say something that made him seem stupid. The few times you talked to him, he stuttered and felt embarrassed. Levi could not help but look at you all the time. He could not help but search for you during mealtime or outside. He thought you were pretty cute when you would laugh with Sasha, Jean, and Connie. He also thought it was cool how you could make a whole table laugh. He felt it was wrong to find you extremely attractive. Levi pondered about possibly asking you out if you became a squad leader or section commander. 

The first time he heard of you, was when Hange showed Levi and Erwin a hilarious comic drawing you drew. The comic was being passed around and shown amongst the scouts getting a little laugh from others. It was funny and relatable to being a scout. 

“A new scout drew this,” Hange said to Levi and Erwin. The drawing made Erwin chuckle and he passed it to Levi who slightly smiled. 

“Who was the scout?” Erwin asked.

“I think her name is Y/N,” Hange said and pointed to the open field where the scouts were hanging out. “That’s her over there next to Sasha and Christa.” Erwin and Levi glanced in your direction. Levi noticed your hair and then your laugh, then you pushing Sasha. Who shoved you back and the girls laughed at whatever. Your smile is what drew him in. 

You had a great smile and the few times you smiled at him when speaking he would forget what he was saying. Then he recalled and then stuttered out his words. When Levi noticed the confusion on your face it made his face hotter. You never pointed it out or asked if he was okay which made him think you were kind enough to ignore his embarrassment. 

The other time you made him really nervous was the day he wore a dark green shirt. Levi barely wore green unless it was the scout cape. But he did that day. Hange and Levi were walking by you and you pleasantly greeted them. 

“Hi Hange, hi Levi,” you said brightly. 

“Hi Y/N!” Hange greeted back.

“Levi, I’ve never seen you wear that shirt before,” you started and Hange smiled and looked at Levi, “green is your color.” You and Hange smiled and looked intently for Levi’s reply. He was taken aback by the compliment. When was the last time he heard a compliment about his appearance? He thought that maybe you found him attractive. Though did you really say anything about his looks? Then he remembered that you pointed out that you had never seen him wear this shirt before. Which he came to the conclusion that you may have been watching him as well? Which could mean you liked him. He knows that people do that when they find others attractive. Levi looked at you a lot when you’re not looking. Possibly you’re observant. Which is a great quality for being a scout. He thought he recalled seeing your file that you scored great during the ODM assessment. He wondered what rank you were. Not that it mattered but he was curious. Then he remembered how the green shirt he was wearing was the shirt he wore on his first expedition. Has Y/N been outside the walls yet? He was trying to recall if he remembered seeing you at all before knowing you as the comic drawer. 

“Levi?” Hange asked.

“S-sorry I’m not feeling well. I feel like shit.” As soon as he said that he regretted it because he knows sometimes girls don’t find cussing attractive. If cussing made him unattractive then does him wearing the green shirt level it out? Though you never said you found him attractive. Just that green was his color. But no one owns the color green. But the way you said green was his color could be interpreted as looking good in green. Levi was trying to think about if he ever heard you cussing before. Then he remembered your comic he was trying to remember if any of the captions had a bad word. He couldn’t remember. Maybe he won't cuss in front of you until he hears you cuss. Maybe you cuss sporadically. Or maybe just when you stub your toe. He thought about how you possibly paint your toes. But he won't know because the uniform has boots. If the cape is the same color as his shirt technically he wore green every day. So that could mean that you never look at Levi. But sometimes Levi doesn’t wear his cape. Maybe you meant that the shirt he was wearing was nice. But then again you didn’t say anything about the shirt itself. If green is Levi’s color and he barely wore the green shirt that had to mean you were talking about the cape. 

“Oh no, I’m sorry.” You said sweetly.

“No problem,” Levi said back stupidly. After all that Hange and Levi had a moment’s silence while walking away from you. Then Hange softly laughed.

“Levi that was painful to watch.” She said.

“What do you mean?” Levi asked.

“Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Except you couldn’t think straight after Y/N said you looked nice.” Hange nudged Levi. Technically you told him that green was his color. He didn’t want to talk about it at all.

“Really Hange I’m not feeling good.” Levi restated. 

“You love sick?” Hange teased.

“No. And no I am not.”

“Well, you were normal until Y/N complimented you,” Hange continued. Levi deflected and brought up a different topic. You did not compliment him though you just said green was his color.

“Lastly F/N L/N,” Erwin said and Levi stopped looking at the dining entrance. “At first, Levi, I put her on your squad but H—”

“Levi I really want her! She seemed really interested in my research! Y/N gets along with Moblit’s and I's work style! Not only that she can draw! She sketched a titan chart for me really well! I saw that Erwin was going to put her on your squad and when I asked if I could have her he said we would have to discuss it! I really want her!” Hange enthusiastically said. Levi felt bittersweet about you not working with Hange and Moblit. He could still have access to you, but not always be around you. His nerves went away. 

“Have her,” Levi said.

“THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!” Hange threw her arms in the air. Levi saw out of the corner of his eye that the entry door opened and his heart rate increased slightly when he saw Sasha. Then Jean. Then Connie. And finally you. You met eyes with Levi and he immediately whipped his head back. Hange, Erwin, Miche, and Moblit all noticed Levi was blushing. He met eyes with Hange who raised her eyebrows twice, playfully. He knew that she knew he was blushing. Levi refused to look at anything besides his tea. “Y/N!” Hange called for you. “Y/N!” She waved you over which you came. Levi thought it would be a good excuse to look at you especially since Hange called you over. So most likely the whole table would be looking at you. He glanced at you and caught your eye again, but this time you looked away. “Guess what!?” Hange exclaimed

“What?” You asked

“You’re in my squad!”

“No way!” 

“This is gonna be really great! We’re going to figure out the secrets of the titans together! I really wanted you especially since you told me you were interested in researching the titans! Moblit also enjoys working with you so this is really great!” Hange and Moblit gave you a group hug. You had a big smile on your face. Levi thought about how endearing it was that you and Hange were becoming quite close. He wished you two could be close.

After you left to get food. Levi noticed you also got the mashed potatoes. He liked the mashed potatoes too. You put gravy on yours. Levi did the same too. Cool. Levi saw you say something to Connie and then Jean, Sasha, and Connie all burst out laughing. He wished he heard what you said. He thought about how everyone he sees you with always are enjoying your company. 

The following day Levi decided to wear the green shirt and wanted to walk by you so you could see him wearing it. He saw you later in the day with Hange and Moblit on a bench. He thought it would be a great opportunity to approach you because Hange was with you and he knows she could mediate the conversation. You were so pretty because of the way your hair was placed on your shoulders. So cute how focused you were on your research. When Levi approached the three they all looked up and smiled.

“Hey,” Levi said to Hange and Moblit, “hi Y/N.” Hange and Moblit looked at each other knowingly. Then Hange smirked at Levi.

“Hey Levi,” you said.

“How are y-you?” He tried. 

“We’re so close to getting somewhere but I keep fucking up my drawing.” You said frustratingly. Levi noted that you did cuss. This meant the time he cussed you must not have cared because you just cussed now. So he can cuss in front of you and you won't find him unattractive. Meaning maybe if he got to know you more and if you worked hard and then you became a section commander one day and you were still alive, then he could ask you out. 

“Oh fuck,” he said. 

“Yeah I know,” you roll your eyes with frustration. 

“NO! Your drawing is great!” Levi vomited out.

“Oh um . . . you haven’t even seen it yet . . .” You said slowly. Then Moblit handed Levi the paper of the start of your drawing. Hange and Moblit were done evaluating the work she had done so far. Levi’s face went red. There’s no explanation for this. You were going to figure out that him showering you with compliments meant he had a crush on you. Which is not good because you are a subordinate and it wouldn’t look good if you two dated. He thought about how well you two would make a cute couple together but what would the others think? Erwin might think Levi is a sleaze for dating someone not in his rank. He thought that some scouts might think you were trying to work your way up to the top. He didn’t want anyone to think poorly of you. Levi didn’t want anyone to think poorly of him. This was just a stupid crush and eventually, he will get over it. He’s an adult he shouldn’t be acting like a schoolgirl with a crush.  

“I show Levi all your drawings.” Hange saved the day. 

“All . . . two . . . of them?” You questioned not entirely believing Hange. Hange and Levi locked eyes. They panicked. Levi did not know what to add. Hange’s temperature started rising. If Hange said anything that would give you the impression that Levi had a crush on you. Then humanity’s strongest soldier might kill her. Then she wouldn’t be able to be alive to find out where the titans are from. Hange wouldn’t be able to know how they came to be. And Levi could make it look like an accident. Levi could also make it look like she went missing. He used to be a criminal and Levi kills every titan he wants to kill. 

“We saw your comic and we kept all the sketches you created the few times you were with us. Everyone thinks your drawings are great. Right, section commander? You shown the leaders all of Y/N’s drawings?” Moblit said.

“Yup,” Hange said quickly.

“Anyways I have to go—um—go. Just wanted to say hi to you—all of you!” Levi walked away. He’s an idiot.

During his meeting with his squad, he did his best to confidently create plans for the next expedition. He was trying to think of all the creative plans he could muster so that he could say it in front of Sasha, Jean, and Connie. Then they would think Levi was smart. They might talk about their day later with you and they could possibly slip in that Levi created a smart plan. He just couldn’t think of a smart thing to offer. Armin was saying all the smart ideas. Levi’s gotta say something smart. Because if he doesn’t then Sasha, Jean, and Connie might only talk about Armin’s smart ideas when they talk about their day with you. 

Later in the evening, Levi saw Sasha, Jean, and Connie sitting at their table with friends, but you were nowhere to be found. You must be with Hange and Moblit in her office. Time went by and still you, Hange, nor Moblit showed up. It was getting late and he thought you would think he was kind if he brought food for you. They had mashed potatoes and gravy as a side again. So when Levi was making you a plate. He was sure to put some mashed potatoes and gravy on it. But this time there was beef gravy and turkey gravy. There were two gravies. He stared at both of them. Which one would you like more? The beef gravy was the one available last night. But what if they don’t serve turkey gravy again for a while and you were looking forward to it? Okay. Beef? Yes, it makes the most sense you had some last night. Then Levi thought about if he ever heard you mentioning liking the turkey gravy. Turkey? Seems to come around less often and he didn’t want you to be disappointed with your dinner. Okay, Both. He made sure to put the two gravies in separate little cups so you could choose which one you wanted.

He took the plate to Hange’s office and his hunch was correct. You, Hange, and Moblit were in Hange’s office working. 

“Hey, Levi.” You said.

“I—uh—brought you food because you weren’t at dinner.” Okay shit. He just told her that he noticed her not being in the dining hall. Which is going to mean that she knows he’s looking for her and then she’ll—WAIT. When you said he looked good in green you mentioned that you’ve never seen him wear that shirt before. Meaning you were watching him. He just said something like that too . . . She said it first. So she won’t think anything of it? Cool.

“Thank you, Levi!” You said. “You didn’t have to.”

Levi smiled and then looked at Hange who had her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised with a knowingly look. Moblit had the same expression on his face. 

“It’s for all you guys!” Levi blurted out. 

“Oh um . . . I don’t think there’s enough for us to share.” You said.

“ . . . I brought both gravies,” Levi said.

masterlist

[mollymauk-teafleak]

could not foresee lying beside you

Another fic for the little mundane au! Huge thanks to @minky-for-short for the idea behind this fic and putting up with my current obsession.

Please reblog and comment over on Ao3!

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Jon has a very awkward conversation with Sasha that leads to a very good evening with his boyfriend Martin.

Note: contains sex favourable ace jon

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Jon had always thought he maintained a certain level of professionalism in the Archives. 

His department may have been the smallest, the least funded and, if the way the other department heads reacted to him was any indicator, the least liked out of the whole institute. But, as long as he was in charge, their professionalism would never be called into question. The work they did would always come first. 

Jon had always thought that. But things had changed lately and, to no one’s surprise more than his own, he was changing with them.

But old habits clearly died pretty hard. Which was his excuse for why he’d been hovering awkwardly in the break room, trying and failing to steer his conversation with Sasha in the right direction for most of lunch. 

Fortunately, Sasha had clearly worked with him long enough to not notice when Jon was being a few degrees more awkward than usual. She was well practised at keeping the conversation going with no input from him beyond stammerings and far off, distracted gazes. 

“So Eddie is swearing blind that this mirror was sent to storage but I checked twice and, if it’s there, the damn thing is supernatural enough to turn invisible!” she stirred her coffee with an irritated clatter, “Or grow legs and walk away. Neither of which were mentioned in the statement, just a lot of blood.”

“And the emaciated version of yourself for a reflection,” Jon mumbled vaguely, tapping his fingers on the wobbly little table they all had to squeeze around.

“Yeah, that too,” Sasha nodded, “My point is, that place has gone really downhill since I transferred…anyway, we’ve got five minutes left of lunch. So are you going to ask me whatever you’re chewing over or what?”

It took Jon a minute to realise what she’d said, his face realising first and taking the liberty of blushing darkly even before he could groan, “Am I being that obvious?”

Sasha smiled, tilting her head, “Not really. I’ve just gotten to know you pretty well.”

Not all that long ago, her saying that would make Jon squirm, feel like he’d been pinned under the glare of a microscope, like he was failing as a boss if his team saw him as a human being. But, again, things had changed. 

Jon swallowed hard, trying to poke nonchalantly at his salad like he hadn’t rehearsed these words until they’d worn thin, “Listen. This is me speaking as something other than your boss, okay?” 

“So…as my friend?” Sasha prompted him, with the patient smile you’d give a child. 

“Right,” Jon cleared his throat, “Um…so you know I’m with Martin…”

“Yes, I realised when you two snuck off from my wedding reception to hook up,” Sasha smirked.

Jon couldn’t help spluttering just a little, “We weren’t together together then…I had another month or so of being an obtuse asshole to get through…”

Sasha’s voice softened, turned kinder, “And you worked on yourself and now you’re both very happy together, the way you were always meant to be. So what’s the problem?”

“Me. As per usual,” Jon’s laugh didn’t sound completely convincing, not even to him, “It’s been a long time since I was in a relationship and I’ve never been in one where I wasn’t a total wreck. I’m realizing there’s a lot of Relationship 101 classes I missed somewhere along the way.”

Sasha tilted her head, her smile turning gentle in a way that managed not to be pitying, “That’s not you being a problem, Jon. There’s no time limit on this kind of thing, you can borrow my notes any time you like.”

Jon wondered if she’d end up regretting those words somewhere in the next ten seconds, as he realised he’d hit the point where he had to just cough it up and get it over with.

“I don’t…” he waved his fork vaguely in the air, “I don’t know how to go about initiating…y’know. Sex?”

There was a beat of silence as Sasha absorbed that. Jon wondered if she was comparing  him to the first version of Jonathan Sims she’d met, the one with the constant tremor in his hands and his too tight ties and short hair, if she was trying to imagine that Jonathan asking her about her weekend, let alone anything that involved taking off clothes. 

From the way she grinned, Jon thought she might prefer the version sat in front of her a little more, even if his hair was already falling out of its bun less than halfway through the day and he was drowning in a jumper Martin had knitted for him rather than a suit. Jon rather thought he preferred this version too. 

“Oh so it’s one of those questions, huh?” Sasha beamed, leaning forward with a new bright eyed energy that was only slightly terrifying, “This is so fun, I never got to play the cool big sister…”

“Ninety percent sure I’m older than you,” Jon rolled his eyes but her smile was infectious, he felt one pulling at his own mouth as he sat back and braced himself. 

“It’s a spiritual thing, Jon, don’t take this away from me,” Sasha waved her hand airily, “Okay. So you want to be straightforward about it? You want to flirt a little, make it a surprise, what are we looking for?”

Jon fidgeted with his glasses, pushing them up his nose, “I mean…I want to ask Martin if he’d like to have sex with me without sounding like a robot that was programmed to make people uncomfortable?”

Sasha chuckled, though not unkindly, “I mean, it’s always going to be a little uncomfortable, Jon. That's not something you can fix, it’s just something you learn to embrace and so do they.”

“I’m…starting to see that,” Jon nodded slowly, trying to chase down the feeling in his chest, pin it down clumsily with words, “I’m not used to wanting this. Wanting to be with someone like that, to make someone look at me in that way. I still don’t want sex the same way other people want it, I’ve sorted out that much. But I want it with Martin.”

“And how do you ask for something you’ve never wanted before?” Sasha nodded, sympathetic, “I hear what you’re saying, Jon.”

It was strange how such a simple thing, something most people never had to question, could mean so much to him. He supposed that's what came of actually choosing to speak, to ask. 

“Thank you, Sasha,” he smiled at his friend, sitting up a little, “So…how do I go about this?”

Sasha grinned, “Oh that’s easy. You have some fun with it.”

-

Jon thought he was doing pretty well. He’d only texted Sasha are you sure about this three times since Martin had left to go to the shops.

His latest message received the same answer as the first two, equally as patient and equally as reassuring. 

Trust me! As long as ur comfortable with it, he’ll <3 it

Jon looked at himself in the mirror again, trying to find something there that Martin would love. He sighed, picking up his phone again after he promised himself he wouldn’t.

And this worked on Tim?

A few moments of a reply bubble. 

He got a speeding fine driving home after I sent him pics of me in that pink shirt he has

Jon’s eyebrows shot up. That pink Hawaiian shirt was objectively hideous. 

Point taken. 

An older version of him would put the phone down then, nothing more to say. But he knew better now. 

Thank you for this, Sasha. 

He somehow heard her smile in the reply that pinged through. 

Don’t thank me yet. Gonna demand some details on Mon as tax. have fun boss!

Jon rolled his eyes, setting his phone down for good now. Martin would be back soon, allowing for how many of their neighbours he stopped to talk to on the way and if any of them were walking dogs he could fuss over. He gave himself a last look over in the mirror, not that anything would be different. 

He’d spent a long time choosing the right jumper out of the many Martin owned. He’d wanted one in green after his boyfriend said the colour brought out his eyes, an offhand comment from months ago but it had snagged in Jon’s mind. He’d wanted one of the larger ones so he didn’t freeze but not so large it didn’t skate the edge of his thighs and slide down off one shoulder in a way he thought- hoped- was sexy. He’d wanted his hair loose, lying across his shoulders in the way that had always been an invitation for Martin to run his fingers through it. 

Jon had planned out everything, this was exactly what he’d been picturing in his head in the hours since he talked to Sasha. And he still thought he looked a little ridiculous. 

But now his reflection wore a soft smile, a little shy, a little uncertain but it was there. It was still hard to believe there was anything in the mirror that Martin would love but Jon did see something he wanted to give him. And that felt good.

A creaking floorboard somewhere out in the hallway sent him scrambling for the sofa. Damn it, he’d been counting on Mrs Nowack and Biscuit keeping Martin occupied for at least ten minutes, she must have had somewhere to be. He had just enough time to arrange himself in a vaguely casual position against the cushions, one leg up, the hem of the jumper sitting just right, before he heard the front door to their flat open. 

“Jon? I’m back,” Martin’s voice was a little winded from the long climb up the stairs but it still had that bright smile in it, “They had that mango juice you like!”

Jon chuckled softly as he heard shopping bags hitting the floor, Martin shrugged off his anorak, boots being kicked off, “Nice…I’ll put it all away, just leave it there.”

“What? No, no, I’m already on my feet,” Martin’s voice moved, going towards the kitchen, “You stay comfy, I’ll put the kettle on…”

Jon struggled not to laugh, he hadn’t accounted for this, for being tripped up by his boyfriend’s implacable politeness. He tried to figure out how he could coax Martin into the living room without being obvious, while their ancient kettle rattled and wheezed towards boiling point and the man he was trying to seduce whistled as he put away the shopping. He should have just sent a picture. Or maybe an embossed invitation. Skywriting, possibly?

Though, Jon had to admit, there was a distinct satisfaction as Martin walked in, saw his boyfriend sprawled on the sofa in nothing but one of his own jumpers, and dropped two full mugs of tea on the floor. 

“I’ll clean that up later,” Jon grinned, watching the heat rise in Martin’s face, “Do you…do you like it?”

“I…I…you…you’re so…” Martin’s jaw worked but his brain clearly wasn’t, his eyes wide like they wanted to take in every inch of Jon. 

“Thank you,” Jon shifted onto his knees, rather enjoying the way the fabric pulled higher on his leg and Martin’s eyes snapped to it like a cat watching prey, “I wanted to surprise you.”

Martin swallowed hard, like his mouth was dry, “Do you…I mean…can I…do you want…”

“Very much so,” Jon purred, freeing one hand enough to beckon him, “Come here, darling.”

“Oh thank god,” Martin groaned, rushing forward and sweeping him into a kiss that told Jon he’d done a very, very good job. 

The moment their lips met, Jon realised he had what he wanted, even if he couldn’t put a name to it. This closeness, this warmth, all the emotion he didn’t have words for expressed physically instead. He could never say what Martin meant to him, he couldn’t ever thank him for the way he took the parts of Jon that were broken and malformed and sharp and pressed them close without fear. 

But he could kiss him. He could root his fingers in those loose red curls, he could part his legs and make room for him between them, he could moan softly as their tongues brushed each other. And Martin would just know. 

“I can’t believe you did this for me…” his words were breathless, coming between a smile and hungry kisses that trailed down Jon’s neck, to where the jumper revealed his collarbone.

Jon’s words came out shaky as Martin’s leg pressed between his own, his nerves sparking at the contact, “Wanted to make it clear...wanted…fuck, Martin, I wanted you…”

Martin drew back, an expression softened with a heartbreaking mix of disbelief and joy. An expression that told Jon he’d never expected to be here, holding him and hearing those words, believing them, “You have me. You always have me.”

So Jon gave him no doubt, rolling his hips against him, sliding his hands down and under Martin’s shirt, across the warmth of his skin, “I love you…”

“I love you too,” Martin helped him pull off his shirt, sending it to the floor, his jeans and boxers pushed down enough that Jon could wrap a hand around his cock. 

Jon pulled back, eyes travelling across Martin’s body. He’d always felt the need to study the things he felt drawn to, to tag and categorise and collate until he understood them down to the last atom. Martin was no different. Jon found himself making an index of every little detail that made his heart beat faster and the muscles low in his stomach twist, Harvard references to the desire racing through him. 

Freckles, face. Freckles, shoulders, collarbone, like someone had taken a paintbrush full of ochre and flicked it at him. Stomach, soft, rounded, perfect to rest on. Hair, soft to touch, heavily dusting his chest and running down his stomach, between his legs. Cock, thick, heavy enough in his palm to make his wrist ache, slick warmth running between his fingers. Noises, moans. Noises, gasps. Noises, fuck, Jon... 

He guided Martin’s cock between his legs until he felt him press against where Jon was so hot and wet it felt like he was melting. Like their bodies would just run together like candle wax, into one whole and they’d never have to be apart again. 

“Easy, Jon…” Martin’s voice was tight, trembling like a plucked violin string, “Don’t want to hurt you…”

“You won’t,” Jon’s voice came out a raw moan, halfway to a growl, his heels pressing into Martin’s back, urging him forward.

It wasn’t a complete lie. Martin was a big guy in every sense of the word, there was a bite, a stretch his body wasn’t used to and cried out at. But the word pain implied something bad, something he didn’t want. That burn meant Martin was sharing his body and, right now, he wanted that more than he wanted air in his lungs. 

“Fuck, Jon, darling…” Martin groaned, his face pressed to the side of his neck, one hand wrapped around his waist, the other braced on the arm of the sofa behind him. 

Jon panted heavily, waiting until enough of him broke the surface to think again, to form words, “I’m all yours, sweetheart. Take me.”

More references, more data points rolled in as Martin shifted his weight to his knees, leveraging enough to rock into Jon. Arms, strong, enough to make him feel small in the best way. Scent, warm, amber, heady. Muscles, deceptively hidden under layers of softness but the feel of them tensing, relaxing, tensing was intoxicating. Stubble, rough in the best way as it scratched his shoulder. So many things thrilling Jon, leaving him utterly helpless to his most base instincts, so many things that made up his Martin. 

“More, Martin, fuck, faster…” he begged breathlessly, digging his fingers into his boyfriend’s shoulders so tight there would be marks in the morning.

“I got you, Jon…”

Martin was already thrusting so hard the sofa was creaking dangerously but, just because Jon had asked it of him, he found a way to go harder, faster, hitting Jon’s sweet spot every single time like his whole purpose for existing had become giving him pleasure. It gave what was coming the inevitability of a law of physics, something comfortingly certain, something Jon knew couldn’t be taken away from him. 

“Martin, darling, I…I think…” his voice broke, words unravelling, dissipating when he tried to grasp for them.

“I know,” Martin gasped, voice raw, “I’m with you, Jon, I’m with you, let go…”

It hit Jon with the force of a wave, shattering his control and leaving him reeling. It could have burned up into panic so quickly but Martin was there, heat flooding into him as he came with a soft, sweet cry. There was a long moment of ringing tension that hung like a droplet of water before falling, breaking, and suddenly Jon was back in his body. 

His laugh was half a gasp as Martin collapsed on top of him, the two of them left giggling like teenagers. 

“God, sorry…” Martin panted softly, grinning, trying to shift off of him.

But Jon held on tightly, nuzzling against his shoulder, “Don’t you dare, Martin Blackwood.”

Martin grinned, fingers trailing across the sleeve of the jumper that was now rucked up just underneath Jon’s chest, after their activities it looked like he was going to have to return it in a far worse state than he found it. It seemed like he’d be forgiven, though. 

“Good to know my first attempt at seduction was a success,” Jon smiled, combing back Martin’s curls where they’d stuck to his forehead. 

“Your first huh? Could have fooled me,” Martin snorted, leaning into his touch gratefully, “Where did you even get the idea for this, what on earth possessed you?”

Jon opened his mouth and closed it again before his smile turned slightly coy, “Um, might not be a conversation you want to have while you’re still, y’know, inside me…incidentally, if Sasha looks at you weird on Monday, don’t worry about it.”

Martin, to his credit, managed a whole two seconds before he burst out laughing, which was more than Jon had expected from him. He just had to cling to him, grinning and kissing him until he had no choice but to shut up. 

“You are so adorable,” Martin gently extracted himself from Jon, sitting back and letting his boyfriend pillow his head on his chest, “What happened to the Mr Sims who insisted on strict professionalism on Archive property?”

Jon rolled his eyes at the poor impression, though he couldn’t help smiling at the answer that rose to his lips as he reached up to kiss him softly. 

“You happened.” 

[pitviperofdoom]

My fic for the Rusty Quill Big Bang 2024 is out! The latest installment of my fairy tale series, Spin Spider Spin. Please mind the tags on this one, it's heavy on the body horror and violence. I've been calling it the timsasha fairy tale horror fic for a reason.

Thank you to my incredible partners @phynoma and @rhywhitefang for their wonderful art, and to @pilesofnonsense for organizing this event.

Summary: "Another monster for you to slay?” Tim asks when he sees his brother reading through a stack of letters. Mayors and governors and village heads have sent out the call. Everyone knows Danny’s name.

“A witch,” Danny says with a devil-may-care grin.

---

“Nothing gets in or out, not even with the key.” He taps his pocket, where he keeps the one key that he did not give her. “And believe me when I say that’s a good thing. What lies beyond this door is incredibly dangerous, so I would advise you not to try opening it.”

“Of course,” Sasha agrees, burning with curiosity. “Thanks for the warning.”

[brave-and-gentle]

hiiii eb! I hope you’re not too sick and that you feel better soon!🤍

i was wondering if you have any headcanons for jean and reiner cooking or baking? (together or apart hehe) i have a feeling these two have a secret talent and they don’t share it with most people but, in fact, they can bake sick cakes or cook the most intricate meal as if it was eggs and bacon!

what do you think?? 🫵 (I’ll be waiting patiently cause im sure you’re having ideas!😌)

thank you nat!! :') this is so fun to think about, hehe. I'll answer this as in the Second Chances world, so it'll be separate since Jean and Reiner haven't met (yet!).

Jean

OF COURSE this mama's boy can cook well!! He may not be a fancy chef like Niccolo, but he makes great comfort foods like soups, pastas, casseroles (or hot dish, depending on where you're from), etc. Seriously, this is the man you want to call to make you dinner when you're sick.

Mama Kirstein taught Jean how to cook, but he also learned a lot when he was a stay at home dad for a couple of years when he and Mikasa were still together.

For real though he can make any picky eater happy, the moms on the block love sending their kids over to Jean's for a play date with Mason and they're always asking him for his recipes.

Jean doesn't make intricate meals too often, but when he does, he goes all out!! He loves having friends over for dinner parties, and of course, he always has a good wine pairing. Cooking is part of how he shows his friends affection. Following his name, I see Jean getting into French cuisine.

Jean has actual cookbooks on a shelf in his kitchen that he writes notes in.

Sasha swears Jean makes *the best* tacos.

Niccolo taught Jean how to properly sharpen his kitchen knives, so now he has a strict "don't touch my knives" policy. Connie broke this once and i stg Jean almost stabbed him in broad daylight.

Speaking of Niccolo, those two are always swapping recipes and cooking tips. Sasha loves it because it means no matter where she is, she's always eatin' good.

Jean's a pretty decent baker too, though he does prefer cooking to baking. He always makes a decorated cake for Mason's (his five-year old son, for those of you who haven't read Second Chances) birthday - last year it was Magic Tree House themed.

He *always* participates in the school bake sale - everyone loves his snickerdoodles, which Mason also enjoys helping with (though he usually just makes a big mess).

Reiner on the other hand . . . (implied Reibert)

When Reiner and Bertolt moved in together, Bert was shocked about how awful Reiner was at cooking. I'm talking "he even burns ramen!! how do you mess up ramen??" The smoke detectors were going off and everything, it was a disaster.

Reiner legit thought microwaving something was cooking, someone help him.

For his birthday, Bertolt signed Reiner up for a cooking 101 series through Liberio Community Education.

Poor Reiner was very nervous about this at first, but he ended up loving it! By the end of the month, he was so proud to make Bert a simple pasta recipe - no smoke detector incident this time.

Reiner has an apron that says "kiss the chef" - Bert very much enjoys this for obvious reasons.

Reiner has continued to keep his cooking pretty basic, it's baking and mixology where he really shines.

He makes the best lemon poppy seed scones you've ever had. And!! Chocolate hazelnut croissants. He also really got into the sourdough starter trend.

Imagine Reiner kneading dough on a Sunday morning. That's all.

As a former football player, Reiner never imagined his big, muscular hands and arms could be used to make these sweet little treats :')

As for mixology, Reiner was never really into "those fruity drinks" until Bert convinced him to try a cosmo at a bar. He loved them so much he told Bert they have to go back soon. Bert shrugged and said they could just make them at home. Reiner had never considered this and immediately looked up cosmo recipes. Now he has a full bar cart and makes the best mojitos with the mint Bert grows in their backyard!

[zabala0z]

Oh my god. Okay hi. Welcome back to “New TMA listens to season 2” and guys holy shit I’m freaking out. I just listened to The New Door. So much is happening in 3 episodes and I gotta write it down oh my god. Guys. Guys.

MAG 44: tightrope

Gertrude Robinson!!!! She sounds so nice. Didn’t even realize there was a mention of this circus before until Jon said it. Gotta up my game. The guy who played the steam organ, Nikolai Deniken, was featured in Strange Music. Or his granddaughter was. I looked over the transcripts again; Gertrude mentioned that Deniken leaving in the 70’s made the circus tamer. Makes me wonder if the steam organ is essential for the circus . Also the circus of the other is such a metal name for a circus like okay damn.

I’m thinking the circus is gonna pop up again. New main villain??? Maybe??? Or maybe that cult that hadn’t appeared for a bit.

MAG 45: blood bag

Ewewew. It’s literally summer, the definition of mosquito season, why did I go through with this episode, I’m literally gagging. Anyways. Not many notes but the antiques dealer who bought that Victorian syringe off of Thompson is also from Lost and Found (MAG 38) and Piecemeal (MAG 14). Like all bro did was buy it and shit went off the rails. Wonder if he’s like cursed or something. Also small note for piecemeal: the guy who made the statement said after Mikaela Salesa left, Noriega was missing teeth, an eye and fingers. He may have had them before Salesa came but who knows. Salesa seems suspicious.

Also the description of the mosquitoes. Like. Eugh.

MAG 46: literary heights

Yooo Michael crew! He appeared in Pageturner as the childhood best friend who got his shit rocked by the lightning. He also apparently appeared in a boneturners tale when he returned a book. He seems like a book nerd now after his near death experience. That lightning figure that was chasing him at the end sounded like it was from the book but another thing: Michael was chanting that shit before y’know jumping out the window but he mentioned “The Vast”. I already vaguely know that name, along with a couple others. Like the fear entities or whatever?? I knew them before going in because Im into Hatchetfield and the lords in black got compared to them a couple times so I guess i didn’t go into this fully blind. More like 94% blind. I’m guessing The Vast is important though. We’ll see.

Finally the one I’m still freaking out over: MAG 47

Holy shit. If anyone saw my abrupt post, congrats. Anyone who didn’t: OH MY GOD MICHAEL APPEARANCE. The voice was so creepy, genuinely I’m freaked out. The whole premise of the episode was scary to me just because one of my fears generally is just being alone and having no one and just being lost so obviously, yeah. But also..god. Starting to doubt my assumption on how morally correct Michael.

Also SASHA. FAKE SASHA. She sounds completely different, thought it was fun they changed voice actors for this. I think fake Sasha has been rifling through Jons stuff. He’s been mentioning that someone has been going down in the tunnels and I think it’s fake Sasha.

Not many notes, I’m just freaking out. Couple things though: Michael said to Jon “do you even know they’re lying to you?”

Now they could either refer to fake Sasha as some gender neutral term since whatever replaced her is definitely not human and maybe doesn’t have a gender but I think more likely it’s referring to multiple people. Thing is, it could be anyone. I’m still suspicious about Elias, like he seems to know something no one does, jon had his rant about Tim and how Tim was here for practically no reason which is true and Martin is chill, I trust Martin. If Martin ends up like killing someone, I will die.

Just god. Michael is so creepy. It makes me wonder about its “domain”. It said it came to collect what is “mine.” The one who entered its domain. Is it like some underworld shit where you go in, you can’t come out? “The wanderer had a brief respite but it’s over now” like that’s just cruel.

Like I screamed when Michael said “did you notice which door she left through?” Like I full on got chills. Also “I am not a who, I’m a what, yada, yada” Okay pop off but you just stabbed a man wtf.

I have seen that infamous Michael line before in like fanart but god nothing compares to hearing the words actually coming from my phone while lying in bed when it’s pitch black outside. Props to the voice actor. Also that buzzing noise that happens in the background of fake Sasha and Michael disappearing when they leave? God it’s beautiful.

Anyways. Uh. Sorry for the long post but you guys gotta understand, I am literally going insane, I love this podcast so much. I got I think like 17 pages of notes/details from episodes to keep in mind like genuinely I am so invested. It like invigorates me. Fully.

Anyways, my only takeaway is bring back Sasha and Michael is terrifying

[orionsstory]

that kind of devotion | anarcia (7)

yayy chapter seven is here :) as always, don't forget to check it out on ao3 !! and leave a comment if you liked it teehee

---

For the next two weeks, Marcia found herself texting Lotus every waking moment. During breaks, during dinner, any free time she had was spent laughing at her jokes or smiling at a picture she sent. She got to find out she loved ducks (through the several pictures she sent of the ones at the nearby park- Marcia didn't mind though) to her favorite song (Boss Bitch by Doja Cat, a song Marcia had found herself listening to nonstop lately). If she was lucky, Lotus would even call her after her patrol, and the two would talk for hours. They mostly talked about their day and the investigation, but sometimes Marcia would slip in a story about her growing up, or Lotus would tell her a story about Sasha. The two had grown much closer in the past two weeks, getting along like a house on fire.

Even now, she was sitting on the couch texting Lotus. She giggled at a text the other girl had sent before she was drawn out of her thoughts by someone nudging her leg. "I need to sit down too, you know." Luxx rolled her eyes as she sat down, handing Marcia her food. "Put your phone down and eat, you've been glued to that thing lately. It's your one day off and you've ignored me the whole morning!"

Marcia takes the food from her, "I'm sorry! It's just so...exciting! We've pretty much gone from talking a few times a month to every day, it's hard not to be so engrossed."

"Aww, she's down bad." Luxx teased her.

"No, I'm not down bad. I'm a lover."

"Marsh, that's the same thing."

"It's totally not! Well...maybe a little. Whatever..." She flushed in embarrassment, rolling her eyes. Luxx chuckled at her,  "Isn't that sweet, you know I haven't seen you this excited over a girl since that one in college...what was her name again?" Marcia cringed at the memory, she had to admit she may have the tendency to fall for people quite easily, but Lotus wasn't the same.

"That's not the same thing. Lotus is different."

Luxx raised her eyebrow, so she continued, "She shows genuine interest in me. She cares about my theatre stuff and how my day is. She texts me pictures of cute dogs she sees because she knows I'll love them. She's...thoughtful. Also, she didn't forget my name after one date, so she's already leagues ahead of Caitlin."

Luxx laughed, "Oh my god, I forgot about that! What did she call you again? Maria?"

"Miriam. She said she knew it was some old lady's name."

"Oh my god, she was awful. I'm so glad that lasted like, two weeks."

"You and me both. Anyways, what were you thinking of doing?"

"Well, since we're all getting together after your show tomorrow, I figured we could just lie low today. We could go to that coffee shop you like and people-watch."

Marcia was sold. "You know me so well, Luxx."

"Of course I do. We've been friends for like 10 years, it'd be sad if I didn't. Now let's go, I want to get a good spot before it gets busy."

-

They arrived at the small shop, setting their items down on the counter facing the biggest window. Marcia took a seat, taking out her drawing supplies as Luxx went to grab their drinks. It had been a while since they had been able to do this- they used to do it all the time in college, watching the people pass by and wonder about their lives while they worked on essays or assignments. They would wonder about their own lives, and what the future would be like. Marcia likes to think her younger self would be proud of where she is now. It makes her smile.

"One tea with honey for you...and an espresso for me!" Luxx hums as she sits the drinks down, sliding onto the seat beside Marcia. She brings out her own drawing materials, peering out the window.

"I missed this. Feels like it's been forever since we've done this."

"I know, it feels like we barely have time anymore. I guess that's what it means to be an adult."

Luxx nodded, her pencil sketching across the page. "Such is capitalism. Ugh, I'm so antsy to get this collection done. We're almost ready to go into production, so my stress is mostly over."

"Oh, I'm excited to see the collection! You're taking me to see the show, right?"

"Who else is going to be my plus one?" She laughs, taking a sip of her drink. "Oh yeah, that's good. Fuck, I've missed good coffee. The office coffee is so shitty, Marsh. Oh my god, it's horrible."

Marcia smiled, opening her own sketchbook as she began sketching some of the people outside. "For a luxury brand, you would think they could afford a better coffee machine." She laughed, scribbling in a woman's dark coat. "Maybe they'll get you a new one for Christmas."

Luxx rolled her eyes, "Please, don't give me hope. Irene keeps saying she's going to fix it and improve it herself but we've been so swamped she hasn't had time yet." She looked up for her next target before selecting a man with a dog. "Look at that dog- isn't it cute? Ugh, I wish I was better at animals. It looks like a rat."

Marcia leaned over to look at the sketch, rolling her eyes. "It looks great, you're being dramatic. That is a cute dog though, what a baby." She cooed, snapping a picture of it before she sent it to Lotus. "How is the collection going anyway? Weren't you guys almost done like, a month ago?"

"Well, we were going through final revisions, but they decided to scrap some of the looks so we had to come up with some new ones. I'm hoping this will be the final round though. I've got some of the early concepts for designs in here though." She answers, flipping through her sketchbook to show Marcia some of the designs. 

She always admired the other girls' aesthetic, Luxx's usual grungy and dark designs had seemed to translate perfectly to spring fashion. Desaturated colors and skirts with purposeful rips and tears turned a skirt into the shape of a flower, an impressive feat. Marcia had seen Luxx make gorgeous designs that weren't her aesthetic, but these ones were special. She always loved it when Luxx could show her passion through her designs.

"Dark forest...what a theme, right?" She softly chuckles, flipping back to the sketch she was working on. "I like it though. I think it'll be our best collection yet."

Marcia proudly smiles, returning to her own sketch of some scenery. They sketched in comfortable silence for some time, Marcia having stopped sketching the people outside and started sketching Lotus. She didn't mean to, it was just sort of a habit at this point.

"That's really good, is that Lotus?" Luxx asks, leaning over. Marcia nods, her face tinged red. "Is she coming to your performance tomorrow?"

"No, but she's coming for my first night as Elle. I'm really excited, I hope she'll like my performance- I've been working so hard on it. God, I hope it goes well, what if I choke?"

"You won't choke. You were like, born for this. You're gonna kill it."

Marcia smiles at her, "Thanks, Luxx."

-

Luxx volunteered for dinner duty that night, allowing Marcia a moment to herself. To debrief, to prepare herself for tomorrow. She felt the nerves creeping up, like they did for every show she had done. She had to remind herself that it was going to go well, that she was going to do well. She focused on the warm water of the shower that was beginning to turn cold- maybe she had been in there longer than she thought.

She stepped out of the shower, wrapping her hair in a soft pink towel before beginning to dry herself off. It was nice, and for a moment she felt calm as she blow-dried her hair, the muffled music of Ariana Grande playing in the background. 7 rings was interrupted by the ringing of her phone, Marcia clicked off the hair dryer as she answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, doll." Lotus' voice came from the other end. "Are you able to talk?"

Marcia hummed, "For a little bit- Luxx will kill me if I miss dinner." She wrapped her soft pink robe around her as she left the bathroom and entered her bedroom across the hall. "I thought you're usually on patrol around this time of day?"

"I am, but it's always a slow start. Thought I'd talk to you until I get a call."

She softly smiled, "Well, I won't complain about that. How's your day been?"

"Pretty standard. I'm hanging out with my coworker soon, but other than that nothing of note. But enough about me- you're gonna be on Broadway tomorrow! How are you feeling?"

"Nervous. Excited. I can't tell- I think it's both." She chuckled, "I know I'll probably do well, but it's just those pre-show nerves, you know?"

"Nah, I know you're gonna crush it."

"But how do you know? What if I...I don't know, trip and break my arm or something."

"I think you'd still perform, even if you had to be in a cast. Don't worry. Besides, isn't the saying break a leg?"

Marcia softly sighed, a smile creeping onto her face as she rummaged through her dresser for her pajamas. "Yeah, it is...and you're probably right. I'm way too excited about this. I just can't believe it's finally happening!"

She heard a faint buzzing on the other line, vaguely recognizing it as the sound of a call.

"Do you have to go?"

Lotus sighed, "Yeah. I do. I'm sorry. Hey- break a leg tomorrow. You're gonna kill it."

Marcia smiled. "Thanks, I will."

She heard Lotus laugh, she could practically see the other girls smile in her head.

"Atta girl."

-

The next morning was a blur. She remembered waking up to a 'break a leg ;)' text from Lotus and eating breakfast with Luxx, but time seemed to fly by after that. Her usual subway ride seemed to take five minutes, and their rehearsal that morning felt like it had happened in a second.

Now, she was in the dressing room with her castmates, all giddy and excited for the show. She applied the last of her blush and made sure her costume was perfect, waiting in the wings with the rest of the ensemble for the first number to start. Many were excitedly whispering to each other, the air in the theatre felt electric.

"Who's here for you tonight, Marcia?" One of her castmates and friends, Plasma, asked her.

"My friends and one of my cousins- we're going out afterward. What about you?"

"Some of my friends- and my mom, she flew in from Texas to be here. I can't believe it's opening night!" She excitedly shook Marcia's arm, causing her to smile.

"I know. Oh! There's the house lights, we're going!" She excitedly whispered, taking her place in preparation. She felt the anxiety returning to her chest, taking a deep breath as the curtains drew open.

They began their first number, which went as perfectly as it could. Marcia hit all the right steps, all the right notes, and stayed in character the entire time. She felt the anxiety in her chest dissipate after the first number, it turning into a feeling of joy. She felt good going into the second number, which turned into feeling great for the entire first act. During intermission, she and Plasma celebrated their success, which meant excitedly talking about the show while they made costume and makeup adjustments for the second act.

The second act also went spectacularly. She could tell the entire cast was bringing their all, and the audience could too. Every time the audience laughed or cheered her drive became stronger, causing her to perform even better. By the time curtain call came, she was exhausted- but proud. As she bowed with the rest of the ensemble, she could hear Luxx's cheers above the rest. She couldn't see her group because of the house lights, but that was enough to put a smile on her face. 

She's able to get out of her costume and makeup fairly quickly, only delayed by her and Plasma geeking out about the show- releasing the remainder of the energy they had for the night. Eventually, she gathered her things and left, signing some things for a few fans at the stage door before spotting her friends.

"MARSHALL!" Luxx squealed, tightly hugging the other girl. Marcia giggled as her friends swarmed her, excitement filling the air. Jan raved on and on about her vocals and dance moves, her cousin was a fellow theatre nerd and they often spent their childhood watching different musicals (and poorly reenacting them). Robin, although less experienced in the theatre world, complimented her performance and gave her a bouquet- which Amethyst almost crushed as she pulled the group in to take a photo.

Marcia feels elated as the group returns to her apartment, giving her time to change into a sparkly mini-dress. She quickly shot a text to Lotus before coming back out, rejoining the girls who had also changed. They took a quick shot of some tequila they had lying around the house before heading to the nearest gay bar.

-

"My girlfriend said she and her friend are a few minutes away," Robin yelled above the noise, trying to keep Amethyst from getting swallowed up by the crowd. "I'm making them get us drinks- what does everyone want?"

The girls shouted out their various drink orders to Robin, drowned out by the club's music. The lights strobed and Marcia could feel her body vibrating from the bass. She danced with Luxx and Amethyst, letting herself go and focusing on having fun- she deserved it, after all. She felt her legs growing sore, but it didn't bother her. She would regret it in the morning, however it wasn't anything she couldn't deal with.

They only stopped dancing when Robin squealed, throwing herself into the arms of a girl who had just walked up. "That's Aura," Amethyst shouted so they could hear, the other girls nodding along. "Who's that beside her?" Marcia asked, referring to the girl who had appeared beside Aura.

She was wearing a short red dress and a leather jacket, and her long light-colored hair was straight and worn down, with some bobby pins to keep her bangs back. She looked like she had some darker streaks in her hair, but she couldn't be too sure with the blaring club lights. From what Marcia could see, she had a pretty athletic build and a scar over her left eye. She felt like she knew the girl, but she couldn't place her finger on why.

"I guess her friend," Amethyst whispered in her ear, "She's hot, right? Is she glaring at us though?" Marcia turned her attention back to the other woman, Amethyst was right- she did seem to be glaring, but she couldn't even clearly see the girl because of the flashing lights.

"Can't tell."

Aura and Robin finally broke apart, allowing Aura to shift her attention to the other girl.

"Oh! This is one of my friends, Anetra!" The other girl nodded her head in greeting. "She doesn't bite, she just has chronic RBF." Aura laughed, Anetra rolled her eyes and playfully elbowed her. Amethyst introduced herself first before Marcia did- she noticed the girl's eyes widen a bit before returning to normal. That was strange, did she recognize her too?

She was going to talk to her more when Aura pulled her away to go get the group's drinks, putting a pin in her plan. That was fine, she'd just talk to her when she returned. However, Anetra didn't return. Aura came back alone, balancing the drinks in her arms.

"Where'd Anetra go?" Luxx asked, taking her drink from Aura.

"She got a call while we were waiting at the bar- came back and said there was an emergency and dashed out. She seemed stressed about it."

"I hope she's okay..." Marcia worried, "Poor girl just got here."

"I'll check up on her later, she's a tough cookie so I'm sure she'll be fine."

That was the last they talked about it, the rest of the night was a blur as they danced and drank until their feet hurt. Marcia tried to tone it down so she wouldn't feel as miserable tomorrow, which worked to some degree. She and Luxx left around 1 am, both deciding to be somewhat responsible. She quickly changed into her pajamas, almost passing out the instant she hit the bed. She shot off a goodnight text to Lotus, who still hadn't answered her last message, which was odd. She worried something may have happened, but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind- she was just paranoid.

[violentvaleska]

𝑨𝒃𝒚𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔

ɴɪɴᴇ ʰⁱˢᵗᵒʳⁱᵃ ʳᵉⁱˢˢ

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ʟᴇᴠɪ ᴀᴄᴋᴇʀᴍᴀɴ x ғᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ᴀs ʟᴇᴠɪ's ᴀssɪsᴛᴀɴᴛ ɪᴛ ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴊᴏʙ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏғ ʜɪs ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴡɪsʜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀᴘᴛᴀɪɴ ɪᴛ ɪs ʜɪs ᴅᴜᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄᴜʟᴀʀʟʏ sᴄᴀʀʏ ɴɪɢʜᴛᴍᴀʀᴇ.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ɢᴏʀᴇ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: ↫ ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜs ɴᴇxᴛ ↬

ғᴀɴғɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪs

ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴀᴏ3

ᴛᴀɢɢɪɴɢ: @ajmiila02 @xiernia @sunniisyde

The last ten days have been so full of death, failure and betrayal that you almost forgot there was once peace, life and loyalty. Mike's death and the appearance of the beast titan set off a chain of events that even you couldn't have foreseen. Your entire squad was whipped out while you were in the safety of Erwin's office, mourning Mike's death with him. You were assigned as Levi's personal assistant shortly after the Commander declared you unfit to fight due to trauma. That's why you haven't been actively fighting for the last few days, instead learning how to serve Levi's tea properly. A few days later, you had a vision of Reiner transforming into the armored titan. A background check revealed that there was literally no information about his upcoming, and after Armin began to suspect your comrade and friend as well, things went downhill quickly.

Bertolt and Reiner revealed themselves as titans a few days later and kidnapped both Eren and Ymir, who appears to be a Titan as well. In total, there were five intelligent titans within the walls, and yet none of you knew how they appeared, where they came from, or why Eren had one. Surely the secret lies in the cellar of his father's house in Shiganshina. When you rescued him from the colossal giants Reiner and Bertolt, it was revealed that sweet little Krista Lenz was also hiding a terrible secret from you.

Historia Reiss, that's her real name. She hasn't given much away yet, but Commander Erwin has made sure she's in Levi's new squad. If anyone was able to get information out of her, it was him. After you and Historia were chosen, your friends quickly followed. Eren, the only remaining member of the Captain's late squad, obviously stayed under his supervision, and after a few discussions Mikasa and Jean also proved to be natural choices for him. Armin was the next obvious choice, and a good one at that. He may be weak, but he has strategic potential. You are not sure why Connie and Sasha were chosen. It's not that you hate them, on the contrary, you're glad to have their cheerful personalities around again, but are they really good enough to protect Eren and Historia from danger?

Tomorrow will be the day when the new Levi Squad will leave with the Hange Squad for the Titan-based experiments outside in Rose. The supposed breach turned out to be nothing but a false assumption, the truth is much darker. The titans that attacked you that day and killed your squad appeared right inside the walls, and to make matters worse, they were once human. How? You don't know yet, but you're confident you'll soon find out. You have been over-analysing your journals and notebooks every night, trying to read between the lines and remember your visions. All triggered by the words of that ape titan. He knows you; he made that clear, which is why you now suspect that you are from outside the walls. That's why you're standing outside Erwin's bedroom, anxiously knocking on the door, hoping not to disturb him.

Commander Erwin Smith has been in a coma for days, having lost his arm in battle. It was bloody and messy, and when he came back bleeding and on the brink of death, you wondered if your visions had deceived you. You saw his death and it was different.

"Name and business." A calm yet harsh voice demands, letting you know he's still awake.

"Cadet Faye Engel, sir. I have news." You reply, loud enough for him to hear. After a moment of silence, the Commander allows you to enter, and you nervously open the wooden door. As you enter, you find yourself facing the Commander, bedridden, unshaven and deeply affected by recent events.

"What is it, Faye?" He asks, wetting his lips with his tongue as he lets your name roll over his cracked lips.

"Captain Levi wants to inform you of the further plans for tomorrow, he has written everything down here." You show him the envelope, written in your superior's perfectly written calligraphy. He declines the offer, insisting on reading it himself, and asks you to give him the reports, which you do, your cool hands touching his, making you shiver. It's not that you're attracted to him, no, it's more the uncomfortable feeling you get when he looks at you, almost as if he knows something you don't.

"Anything else, dear?" Slightly nervous, you brush a strand of your hair behind your ear that has fallen into your face as you shift from one leg to the other.

"Yes - um." As you search for the right way to explain your theory, a nervous feeling, almost like fear, settles in your gut.

"I don't think I'm from inside the walls." You admit and take a deep breath.

"But I'm not your enemy!" You add quickly with a nervous laugh, scratching the back of your head uncomfortably.

"What makes you think that?" Erwin asks, genuinely intrigued by your confession.

"The Beast Titan. It was able to talk to me and it seemed to know me." The Commander looks at you and allows you to continue.

"It called me by a name that sounded strangely familiar. This beast said he thought I wouldn't remember it. He said I had done it to myself." You are telling the truth; Erwin can see it in your frightened eyes. He wishes you'd told him that, but for now he can see past it. The loss of his friend has taken a deeper toll on you than he expected at first.

"I figured you weren't from here." Erwin confesses after a minute of silence, his deep blue eyes boring into your soul with interest.

"But why?" You ask, deeply confused. Have you been behaving differently? Or strange?

"To be honest, I was never really sure that you were from Shiganshina. I think you lost your memories, that the head injuries were serious after all. It's impossible that you forgot the whole concept of the walls, but that's highly unlikely". He explains calmly, playing with the envelope you gave him.

"But you said something to Mike that was even more unusual." You raise an eyebrow at his statement, wondering what you might have said.

"Apparently you said that you were at school until you were fourteen. No one within the walls can stay in school that long, except for the rich heirs of nobles in the inner districts. If you were from Sina, someone would have looked for you. He says, and you think his thoughts are reasonable. There is a comfortable silence between the two of you until Commander Smith decides to lead the conversation again.

"The name he called you by." He begins, sitting up slightly, serious in tone but with a hint of gentleness in it.

"Is that how you want to be called from now on?" Seemingly taken by surprise, your frown deepens as you immediately answer with a short "No", causing the Commander to raise a bushy eyebrow.

"No?" He repeats your words, confused, as if he hadn't expected you to say that.

"I don't want to be called anything that has to do with that beast." You explain sternly and firmly, clearly rejecting the idea. The blonde just nods his head, different thoughts dancing in his head, all circling around you.

"If he knows you, do you think the other titans do too?" He wonders, asking you something you haven't had time to think about yet.

"If they know me, they certainly haven't shown up." You answer honestly, unable to think of a time when they would hint.

"I hope you realize that no one can know about this conversation." Erwin says and opens the envelope from Levi, his attention now elsewhere.

"I do." You promise with a brief nod of the head and salute him to get permission to leave. "Have a good night, Faye."

Your night had been nothing but horrible. Sharing a room with your good friends from the trainee corps had never been a problem until tonight. Historia was the first to fall asleep, followed by Mikasa, who had been injured by a titan a few days ago. Sasha and you stayed up the longest, chatting about the past few days and answering her questions about being the Captain's personal assistant. Although you had only been in this position for a few days, the man had managed to drain you of all your patience. You had to make him tea several times in a row until his words weren't "drinkable" anymore but "good", and it took you ages to proofread his files and papers, only to find that they were already perfect. Sasha would giggle at your miserable week and ask you for some advice on what it meant to be his subordinate. Soon after, you both fell asleep, leaving only the light of the moon in the darkness of your barracks.

The dreams that haunted you that night began strangely. You don't know how or when it began, but first there was Historia, standing in a white dress with a red velvet rope covering her shoulders and back, her hair pulled back in a beautiful bun, her expression deadly serious. Someone placed a golden crown on her head, and the shouts of joy from the citizens filled your ears. But the dream did not end there. Now you're going through a torturous ordeal, watching soldier after soldier fall to their deaths. You see Shiganshina, covered in moss and ivy, as if no one had cared for it for years. You walk through its streets, dried and fresh blood covering the stony streets. You see Erwin, his body motionless and lifeless, you see him on a mountain of corpses, all of them dead scouts. Erwin was once praised for his success in bringing back hundreds of soldiers alive, but now he's the cause of hundreds, if not thousands, of deaths.

You don't realize it's a nightmare, no, you think it's another nightmare you can't wake up from. You don't notice your body tensing and shaking, you don't hear your own cries and pleas. But your friends do, rushing to your side as you scream in agony. Unable to wake you and seeing blood running from your nostrils all over your face, Historia quickly runs out of the room to find help. Other scouts have woken up by now, so they open the door to see what's going on. On her way to get a nurse, Historia accidentally runs into Captain Levi, who seems to be wide awake. She tries to explain the situation to him, not knowing that he has already dealt with you like that before.

Levi is quick on his feet, rushing down the corridor to the barracks.

"Oi. Get back to bed." He spits at the inquisitive scouts, urging them back to their rooms with an angry expression on his face. Historia follows him, concern written all over her sleepy features. Entering the barracks, he pulls the panicked Blouse girl away from your form and demands to know from Mikasa how long you've been having the seizures. The gloomy brat is the only reliable one in this situation, she answers him sharply as she holds your hand and tries to comfort you. Ever since you came to defend Eren at the trial and looked after him when she couldn't, Mikasa has been nothing but loyal to you, trusting you in every way. She used to be cold and distant, much like Levi, but knowing the truth about you has helped her to understand.

"I'll take her to the nurses. Go back to bed." The Captain carefully lifts you into his arms and holds you close to his chest, trying not to get blood all over himself. Your screams stop instantly as your tearful eyes close, and you slowly begin to calm down. Almost as if he has brought you back to reality.

He carries you through the corridors, cursing the soldiers who didn't listen to him the first time and lecturing them about respect. He can't take you to the nurses though, he doesn't trust them. They're employed by the military police, and he certainly doesn't want to give them any reason to find out about your nightly seizures. Levi only told the girls this because he knew it would ease their worries a little. After all, he needs them awake for an hour-long journey tomorrow. He listens to your soft whimpering as you come to, your frightened eyes opening to meet his as he carries you up the stairs to his office.

"They're all going to die." You whisper under your breath, your body weak from the terrifying attack you have just endured.

"Don't think about that, brat." Levi tries, he really does, but comforting others has never been his forte.

"Where are you taking me?" Your confused and tired voice makes him pity you a little as he looks straight ahead, not daring to meet your eyes.

"My office." He says as he struggles to open the door without accidentally dropping you.

"Am I in trouble Captain?" Your raspy voice and troubled words make him swallow without answering. The last few days have been terrible for him, not that you've been a terrible assistant, far from it. You were perfect in every way, caring deeply about details and his opinion. Almost as if you were using your work as a way of coping with your loss. He felt more and more happy to have you around every day, and it made him feel terribly disgusted with himself. "Remember who she is." He tried to tell himself. "She could be my death one day, we know nothing about her, not even her real name." But Levi can't help himself, there is something about you that seems to draw him in, something that warms his belly with a desire he thought he had buried long ago.

From his office, he goes to his bedroom, only to put you on his bed, which he rarely uses. He tells you to stay there when he goes to the bathroom to get a wet carpet. Ever since he saved you from certain death on the last expedition, he has felt responsible for you. Levi knows that you are a grown woman, a soldier, capable of looking after yourself, but who will look after you when you can't? When you are unconscious, unable to control your own body? Looking at you in the mirror over his sink, Levi can't help but admire how stunning you look; covered in tears, with a thin line of blood that makes your pale skin stand out even more. He swallows, reminding himself that he is sick in the head for thinking that your current state is attractive. "That's why you don't have sex anymore, idiot." He tells himself, clutching the wet cloth tighter in his fist. "You only hurt your companions."

He leaves the bathroom shortly afterwards and comes to your side.

"Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?" The Captain asks as he begins to clean the blood from your face with the clothes, not as gently as you might have liked, but you don't complain.

"I saw Historia in a crown." You start to shiver at the coolness on your heated face. "But I also saw Shiganshina." He stops meeting your eyes, waiting patiently for you to continue. "The whole regiment of scouts was there, most of them riding to their deaths." You gulp at the image that has taken over your mind. "So much blood, the beast titan..." Levi silences you, placing his finger over your lip to stop you from speaking.

"We'll talk to Erwin about it in the morning." He promises and continues to clean your face so that he doesn't get any dirt on the fresh sheets. At least that's what he tells himself.

"Captain?" You speak up, tired eyes following the movement of his hand. He looks up, the darkness making you breathless.

"Why are you so kind?" The question seems to take him by surprise, as he stops his movements, his eyes widening for a second until they form into slits. It's almost as if he's realized that this behavior is unlikely for him. At least with you.

"Tch, don't be stupid. I'm not doing this to be nice."

He explains, getting up to take the flirty cloth to his bathroom. "Then why..." But Captain Levi doesn't give you room to ask another question as he tucks you into the blanket.

"You need sleep, Cadet. Tomorrow's going to be exhausting, I can't have you tossing and turning." His voice is gruff as he closes the shades and the bathroom door roughly, leaving you alone in his bedroom. His room, his bed. You only seem to notice it now, now that you are fully awake and frightened by what you have seen. It makes you blush a deep red at the realization.

"Wait Captain..." He stops at your small voice, your eyes meeting in a haze.

"Please don't leave me alone. I can't be right now." It's the truth, you'd probably just get caught up in your darkness.

"And here I thought you were 15. Apparently, you are five." Angered by his harsh and mean words, you frown and pull the blanket a little higher. Noticing that it barely smells of him, you wonder if he cleans the sheets daily or hardly uses them at all.

"I'm 23." You remind him, or at least you think you are. You notice the side of his lips move up a little, but as quickly as it appeared it's gone.

"Do you know what you are asking of me, Cadet?" He asks as he steps closer to your surprised form, his arms crossed. You notice that his shirt is partially unbuttoned, revealing his collar. His sleeves are rolled up and you think you have never seen him so comfortable.

"You ask your Captain to stay with you so you can have a better night's rest." He concludes, scowling at the assumption he's just made, daring you to walk into his trap, but you don't give him the sick satisfaction.

"This is so unbecoming of you, Captain. Bringing a barely conscious girl into your personal barracks." You sneer, your eyes twinkling as you look up at him with a daring stare that seems to take his breath away for a moment.

"Unbecoming? Hm. Why do you think I brought you here, little Cadet?" You weren't expecting him to jump at your challenge, but rather to scold you for it. Biting your lips, you fidget under the white sheets that covered your nightgown from his endearing eyes. Your fingers play with the hem as you reply in a hushed tone.

"I believe there is some sort of rule against having your subordinate in your quarters, Captain." You tease softly, a smirk on your lips as you watch him narrow his eyes at you, his body tensing. His hands clench into fists. You wait for him to say something else, but instead he looks away. You sigh in relief and pull your legs closer to your chest, curling up into a ball and closing your eyes.

"Get some sleep, Cadet." He finally says, leaving your bed and soon the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Certainly not able to sleep, you try to distract yourself, debating with yourself why the Captain took such good care of you that night.

[stellisketches]

why? please explain the soldier, port, king in excruciating detail PLEASE

EDIT: ITS FINALLY DONE i'm so sorry this took me like six months I got really busy with school work and I wanted to make sure I wasn't half-assing this anyway thank you for asking please enjoy

For reference I will be quoting the “Poet Soldier King” test on uQuiz as I feel they summarize each role most succinctly.

"You wonder, sometimes, if anger is the only thing you can feel. Remember: love is passion too. You made your own rules and will follow them to death. You try and forget that there is only one rule, and that it is "FIGHT". You are tired of fighting. You try to forget that, too, and keep going. You dream of quiet. Your love is where you heal." -Soldier

It's a subtle element but Vylad’s entire character/existence is about enduring conflict. It's an easy thing to forget due to his calm demeanor, but Vylad has been fighting since the moment he was born (hell, even before). Fighting the ill-contrived gossip of being a bastard son, fighting to prove himself a genuine Ro’Meave, and fighting against Garte and Zane’s abuse over his childhood. It’s a subtler form of conflict, but it’s very interesting to imagine how he was able to put up with all of it (I’ve planned so many prequel fics about the Ro’Meaves you guys). Then there’s the whole shadowknight topic that really is indicative of itself. Vylad's whole arc was based upon leaving behind the violence of his past as a literal soldier within the Shadow Lord's army. Again it’s really easy to forget but this is someone who was revived to burn the world to the ground and slaughter any and every man, woman, and child that got in the way of it. He told Aphmau himself in season 2: “One good deed does not fix a thousand wrongs done. I'm not a good person, let's just leave it at that. Please.” We may not have seen it on screen, but who knows how long Vylad was traveling with Sasha and Gene. I doubt Phoenix Drop was the first village they targeted, and I doubt Gene or Sasha or even Zenix were ever like “oh yeah you can wait outside while we commit atrocities on this Lord and his family and burn the whole village to the ground.” Vylad has a very practical mindset (another trait indicative of a good soldier), and it wouldn’t surprise me if he was purposefully good at his job so it would land him more opportunities to get out of the nether now and again. He enacted violence well enough that he was trusted to be sent outside the nether to go fuck up the overworld. Vylad is a man thoroughly haunted by war and the violence he’s committed against others in a way his brothers just… aren't. Sure, Garroth knows fighting and violence as a means of protection and ensuring the safety of others, but he doesn’t know war. He’s never had someone he cared about die in his arms. He’s never seen a whole village burn to the ground and see innocent people slaughtered left and right. He’s never seen a child screaming at their dead mother to get up. He may use violence, but he was never a violent person. Zane, on the other hand, most definitely was, however, but he hardly ever enacted any of the violence himself. 90% of the time it was jurors or guards he’d given orders to. And while he was more than happy to get his hands dirty every once in a while, he never felt genuine consequence from it. 

Continuing on Vylad’s inner psyche, we see after he still keeps a very practical, soldier-like mindset out of the nether in company with Aph and Co: He gets annoyed at Aphmau when she puts off telling everyone about the Tuu’la invasion. He surveys Laurance from a distance and does not interfere even in danger because he’s aware of the long term effect of distrust it would cause him. Upon the chaos in Narhaka, he immediately goes to burn books that have important locations the enemy could use against them. This is actually one of my favorite scenes because of how subtly status-quo breaking it is. Tell me right now of any scene involving book burnings done by a guy the audience is supposed to root for. Vylad’s view of the world makes him incredibly pragmatic and able to calculate the win-loss ratio of his actions and let that decide whether or not he will go through with it.

Vylad may not have the typical surface-level look of the characters often put into the category, but if you really dive into his past, his mindset, and the way he views the world, he easily fits into the role of soldier; with the final line “Your love is where you heal” setting him on the path of redemption we see throughout the whole series.

"Loneliness. Strength. Joy. You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough. Here's the truth : you are. You sing songs and hope they carry faith, because you have run out of it, and yet you still throw your heart out to the world and hope it makes it through. You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create. You are tired of stumbling through life. You dream of a ground you can stand on. One day, you will dance. Your love is where you feel - without fear." -Poet

Now I admit for Zane it does require a more particular perspective to place him as poet, but I’ll start simple and slowly transition to red string and corkboard. Firstly, from the original song lyrics, “He will slay you with his tongue” applies in at least two different ways. The first being obvious: Zane is incredibly charismatic- you don’t just make it to High Priest without a certain degree of people skills included but not limited to negotiating, preaching, and being able to reason your way through any theological question a questioning sinner could ask you. It’s a shame we don’t see it put into use very often throughout the series, but I think his position gives enough testament to his people skills. The second way this line applied is a bit more literal and a bit more dark, which would be the sheer amount of people who were murdered not by his hands directly, but on mere orders. He can quite literally have people slain in just a few words to the right people. Moving to the more esoteric; the line “You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough.” seems like it be a hitch to his characterization, as it first invokes the idea of someone who lacks self-confidence, which is FAR from what we see Zane characterized as in the story. However I see this from the lense of artists becoming blind to the depth of their own skill. Zane is powerful, but it’s not enough for him. He’s become so accustomed to the level of influence he holds he’s become desensitized to it, like how you stop feeling the cold of the water once you stay in it long enough.The power he’s been swimming in his entire life no longer brings that vitalic shudder of control he craves. Thus he seeks power that goes beyond mortal influence to raw, unchanneled divinity, as that’s the only thing that he has ever been told is above him. He hungers the same as any artist— to be something greater than they already are.

“You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create.” The idea of creation draws back to Zane’s relationship with control and divinity. I think it's highly debatable as to whether or not Zane has actual “faith” in the divine (i.e, seeing them as gods he wishes to emulate or simply as extremely powerful beings minus the religious element), but in either case it again leads back to desire for more. (sidenote: Zane’s fatal flaw being lust is such a delicious piece of irony and I could make an essay of its own on it). Anyway, back to the point I was originally trying to make: Zane sows pain and destruction as a means of asserting his power/importance both to others and himself. The “pain” spoken of would normally belong to the poet themself— but this is no ordinary poet, and there is no specific indication where said pain emerges from. 

"Duty. Strength. Resignation. You were told to do things and you did them. The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will. You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture ? You don't know. You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs. Your love is where you breathe." -King

God where do I start. “Duty. Strength. Resignation” It’s like someone just said ‘describe Garroth in three words’. Duty has been his entire life, wanted or not, which leads directly into resignation. “You were told to do things and you did them.The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will.” He learned his history. He learned the politics. He followed the dogma. He believed in Irene and his father and the glory of O’Khasis and his divine duty to lord over its people. His people. He said it himself in episode 68 he wanted to be exactly like his father, and that he thought to be lord was an honor and a privilege. To him, the weight of the world has rested upon his shoulders for so long that he becomes accustomed to each additional hardship quickly and quietly, never kicking up a fuss about his growing stress and dissatisfaction, like a frog in a pool of water that is steadily increasing in temperature. He locks his festering disdain for glorification of leadership away from his father, his family, and the rest of the world because he cannot show that he is anything but the Atlas of duty he was born to be. 

Until, one day, he has enough. He saw what happens to his dear little brother, likely the only person he felt he could truly bond with, and despite everything he still dealt with it, for the sake of the people around him, but when his father commands him to marry a girl he has never met (likely while he is still processing his grief) in the name of ‘duty’, it is the straw that breaks the camel's back. He sees that everything he has worked towards is meaningless as he will never reach a point where his father will be satisfied with him. That his father will continue to take and take from him until there is nothing left but a soulless puppet that will continue to speak his words even after his reign has ended. Every burden he has carried, every grievance he has hidden, every struggle he’s overcome and the hard work he’s put into building himself a true heir of O’Khasis— it all amounts to nothing.

So he leaves. 

Now, let me ask you: what would you do if you were a runaway prince escaping the crushing weight of expectation? Take a bunch of money from your no-good dad? Buy a boat ticket and live a new life in luxury on the other side of the world? Never work a day again and dive head first into careless relaxation? Surely, you wouldn’t look twice at a dilapidated little village on the coast. Wouldn’t bother to stop by and lift a finger to help it. You're free, you have a whole life of sweet exemption to look forward to. You wouldn’t give it the time of day.

“You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture?”

Garroth finds himself in Phoenix Drop�� a rickety dead-end little town as far away from home as possible. He stays, and he helps. He keeps the village running, he helps the Lord wherever he can. He takes in the broken, starved boy he finds in the woods. He does whatever he can to improve the lives of the people around him. Why? He owes them nothing, he’s spent a lifetime crushed under the weight of people's expectations and he turns around just to find himself carrying the weight of more lives on his shoulders. He is doing everything he was taught and everything he ran away from. 

But this time it’s different. This time, he sees how he’s helping. There’s no more grating voice telling him none of the effort matters. He has a rigid back and steady hands, metaphorically and physically. For the first time in his life, he can see with his own two eyes that his effort is worth it. There isn’t doubt and lies and corruption floating in and out of his mind. Just the warm, honest smiles of the people he helps. He feels it and it is real. The question “Is it nature or nurture?” is genuine: Is Garroth helping these people out of the kindness of his heart or because it was what he was always told to do, and now that he is without the purpose he was assigned he’s leaning on something familiar? Personally, I think that’s for the audience to decide. I myself would say a mixture of both, leaning more so towards nature. But I digress. 

It’s better then, when he helps and can see that he is doing good, but of course, that peace is not to last him. With the Lord’s death and impending turmoil of Phoenix Drop, Garroth’s role in the village shifts drastically to closer resembling the role he ran away from. People are treating him with near as much kindness anymore, no. The most forgiving are losing faith and the least are blaming him. Blaming him for failing to meet their expectations. Now, as things are deteriorating, he has more than enough reason to leave. He gave it the good ol’ college try, and he failed. With the sentiments of the village becoming scarily familiar to that of his father, he should just say “fuck it” and head on off to that faraway land where no one will know his name.

But still, he doesn’t. We see him in Rebirth and how desperate he is to fix the village, to make it work. Even when everyone else is telling him to give up, he refuses. Even sinking, a captain stays on his ship. (Side note: it’s scenes like this that cause me to start tearing up people’s lawns whenever I see takes that label Garroth as having a “fear of responsibility”). And he is completely ready to either make things work or die trying, regardless of what stands in his way. 

‘You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs.’

Aphmau wasn’t the first person he saved. Zenix had likely been around for at least a year beforehand. However Zenix was a hothead teenager in need of guidance, which simply made him become another responsibility Garroth set upon himself. Don’t get me wrong, he definitely cares for him, but their relationship is far different than the one he has with Aphmau. 

With Aphmau, he finally has someone who shares the burden. Not only that, but sharing it willingly and with a smile on her face. He’s not used to having a person who presents themselves as an equal sharer of responsibility. Much less, someone who is willing and wanting for him to put his burdens on her (At least, that’s how he sees it). He can’t remember the last time he truly allowed himself to be vulnerable with someone. All the desires he’s pushed down start to bubble back up again, and he starts to imagine things he’d long tried to do away with. He sees Aphmau as a strong leader, one whose idealism is a strength and not a weakness, and how she accomplishes things he never quite got around to doing. An admiration grows for her, yes, but that’s not what makes her different. The difference, he sees, is her vulnerability. How she allows herself to be vulnerable around him. How despite the brave face she puts on, she has just as much fear that she isn’t enough. And she tells him this, directly, because she trusts him. And all of a sudden he realizes that if she can be strong to the rest of the world, and yet still let him see her weakness, her softness, then maybe, just maybe

“Your love is where you breathe.”

He can take his armor off, too.

[ammomancer]

psychonauts character name meanings cuz i find them interesting

Razputin (Rasputin) - of the crossroads (Russian)

Lili - Alternate spelling of "Lily" or German, French, and Hungarian diminuitive of "Elizabeth", "God's promise" or "God's abundance"

Morceau - not an actual name, but the French word for a small piece of something (RUDE)

Sasha - Diminuitive of "Alexander", "defender of man"; if you're wondering how you get to "Sasha" from "Alexander", it specifically is from the Russian "Aleksandr". sidenote since he's German it should probably be spelled Sascha

Milla/Camilla - we don't actually know what this means! we know it comes from the Roman name "Camillus" but we don't know where that name comes from. "camillus" is a Latin word that means basically the ancient Roman equivalent of an altar boy, but this is probably unrelated to the name

Ford - a shallow place in a river or stream (English)

Dogen - this one is just made up. "dogen" is a word in a couple languages but they both have a soft g

Clem - short for "Clement", "merciful" (English, from Latin)

Crystal - just the English word crystal.

Maloof - variant of "Maalouf", a chiefly Lebanese surname from Arabic that may mean "exempt" or "protected"

Bobby - presumably short for "Robert", "bright fame" (Germanic)

James - ultimately from "Jacob", which may mean "supplanter" or "may God protect" (English, ultimately from Hebrew)

Theodore - gift of God (Greek)

Franke - ultimately from "Franciscus", "Frenchman" (Latin)

Nils - Swedish/Norwegian/Danish form of "Nicholas", "victory of the people" (Greek)

Mikhail - Russian form of "Michael", "who is like God?" (Hebrew)

Elka - unclear; possibly a diminutive of "Adelheid", "of noble birth" (German) or potentially a feminine form of "Elkanah", "God has created" or "God has possessed" (Hebrew)

Elton - Ella's town or old town (English)

Chloe - green shoot (Greek)

Phoebe - bright, pure (Greek)

Quentin - French form of "Quintus", "fifth" (Latin)

Milka - either a Finnish/Polish diminuitive of "Emilia", "rival", or from a diminutive of various Slavic names containing "milŭ", "gracious" or "dear"

Kitty - short for "Katherine", which has a debated etymology but became associated with "katharos", "pure" in Greek

Vernon - ultimately derived from a word for "alder" as in the tree (Gaulish)

Benny - short for Benjamin (son of the right hand, Hebrew) or Benedict (blessed, Latin)

Melvin - from "Melville", which comes from a Norman French word for "bad town"

Linda - soft (Germanic) or beautiful (Spanish, Portuguese)

Boyd - of uncertain etymology, Scottish

Gloria - glory (Spanish/Portuguese)

Bonita - pretty (Spanish)

Becky - short for Rebecca, "join" or "tie" (Hebrew)

Jasper - from Gaspar, which possibly comes from a Persian word meaning "treasurer"

Fred - peace (Germanic), if we assume it's short for Frederick then "peaceful ruler"

Napoleon - from the Italian name Napoleone, of uncertain etymology

Edgar - prosperous spear (Old English)

Lana - unclear, possibly "little rock" (Breton)

Dean - valley (English)

Crispin - curly-haired (Latin)

Penelope - either "weaver" or a type of duck (Greek)

Houston - Hugh's town (Scottish)

Caligosto - evokes "Caligari" and "Cagliostro"

Herndon - heron valley or corner valley (English)

Augustus - exalted, venerable (Latin)

Truman - trusty man (Middle English)

D'Artagnan - "from Artagnan" (which may itself get its name from a word meaning 'bear'); famously the name of the fourth Musketeer (French)

Hollis - from "holly" (English)

Harold - military commander (Old English)

Paul - small, humble (Latin)

Norma - from an opera character (a druid priestess from 1831's Norma), possibly inspired by the Latin "norma", "rule, standard" (which we get the word "norm" from)

Lizzie - short for Elizabeth, "God is my oath" (Hebrew)

Morris - Moorish (from Latin)

Adam - man (Hebrew)

Samantha - uncertain, likely related to Samuel ("name of God", Hebrew)

Gisu - Iranian Persian for a curl or lock of hair—I like to think it was a nickname she got as a baby that stuck, like Miley Cyrus

Jack - diminuitive of John, "God is gracious" (Hebrew)

Donatella - "given" (Latin via Italian)

Dion - possibly short for Dionisio, the Italian form of Dionysus (though it may not be, like Dion DiMucci of Dion and the Belmonts fame)

Frazie - my headcanon is that "-zie" is a diminuitive in Grulovian (compare Russian -ce/-tse and Polish -cia), so her name could be some variant of Frances or Francesca, or maybe an alternate spelling of Freya, "noble lady" (Old Norse). Alternatively maybe it's short for Euphrasie, the French form of Euphrasia, "good cheer" in Greek

Mirtala - possibly related to "myrtle", as in the plant; compare Spanish and Italian "Mirta"

Queepie - I don't think this is a real name but "queep" is a way of writing out a bird chirp

Compton - valley town (Old English)

Otto - wealth, fortune (German)

Cassie - usually short for Cassandra, possibly derived from "to excel, to shine"

Cassiopeia - Greek mythological wife of Cepheus and mother of Andromeda, namesake of a constellation; the name itself may be related to "cassia", which in modern English refers to multiple different plants, one of them being Cinnamonium cassia, which is one of the trees that cinnamon is made from the bark of and is also known as "Chinese cinnamon"

Gerda - brave spear (German)

Fannie - potentially short for Stephanie, "crown" (Greek), but more interestingly could be related to "Fàn", a surname that is a homonym with an obsolete word for "bee". it isn't pronounced the exact same but i imagine it's anglicized. potentially anglicized Fànying? i do not speak Chinese so this could be complete bullshit

Helmut - possibly "whole mind" or "whole spirit", potentially "brave helmet" (Proto-Germanic or Middle High German)

Lucrecia - alternate (predominantly Spanish) spelling of "Lucretia", an ancient Roman name potentially meaning "profit". Notably Lucretia was the name of a Roman noblewoman whose tragic death was said to have sparked a rebellion that led to Rome becoming a republic. WARNING for sexual violence and suicide if you choose to look that up)

Bob - short for Robert, "bright fame" (Germanic)

Tia - short for any number of names that end in "tia"

Marona - possibly related to "marrone" (Italian for chesnut) or "mâron" (Ancient Greek for what we now call cat thyme, Teucrium marum)

Lazarus - from Greek "Lazaros", originating from Hebrew "Eleazar", "my God has helped"

Gelsin - not a name, but the Turkish third person singular imperative for "come" (English doesn't have third person imperative so it's hard to explain but it's kinda like "let him come" or "he should come")

Zalto - yellow (Bulgarian), I think it might also be an Austrian or Italian surname but it's hard to find things about the name because it's the name of a fancy wineglass brand

Mithra - "oath" in Avestan (an Old Iranian language); the name of a Zoroastrian deity of light, justice, and friendship

Rokel - potentially from "Rockel", a German habitational name or a name meaning someone who bakes with rye

Gristol - not a real name but compare "grist", unground grain that's been separated from its chaff (the inedible parts, the word chaff is also used figuratively to mean something worthless or unwanted), used in the phrase "grist for the mill" meaning something is useful (particularly knowledge, experience, or information)

[tumbleinthenet]

"just you."

(cw: pregnancy, light discussion of sasha and milla's traumas)

sasha nein's going to be a father. he's handling it about as well as he can.

"I'm pregnant," Milla says, a private, vulnerable smile gracing her lips, and the axis of Sasha's world abruptly tips about 45 degrees, knocking him right off the surface of the planet and out into orbit.

Or, so he thinks.

In reality, he stands there gaping at her, stood so still she privately suspects he may have gone completely into shock, straight into power saving mode, all circuits are busy, please try again later. Her brows furrow. She knows Sasha better than anyone at this point in his life, and she's never seen him have a reaction this dramatic. Sure, they hadn't been trying, but they'd said if it happened by some mistake or miracle.. well, they more than likely wouldn't say no.

She supposes he wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. ..or at all.

Carefully, telegraphing her movements to him, she slides a gloved hand up to cup his face, stroking along a high cheekbone with her thumb. "Sasha, my darling, come back to me? I'd very much like if we could have a talk about this, once I can reach you from wherever you've squirreled yourself away." She waits for him. She always waits for him. (it's never a burden. Many years ago, he was the one who waited for her.) 

She's not going to prod him through their telepathic link; she'd clamped down on her end beforehand, severing their connection to allow him the privacy of his own thoughts. Admittedly, it's partially for her. She'd prefer not to know if his immediate reaction is negative.

Of course, this means that she doesn't know, cannot know how he's actually feeling. Which is mostly very overwhelmed. Milla is.. they're going to... he's going to be.. Frankly, if he finishes any of those thoughts, he might have to go psiblast the nearest window and hop right out of it. 

..She can't be. Well, she can be, and she is, and it's genuinely a very exciting thought, except for the part where Milla becoming a mother is the first step in the actualization of his greatest fear.

If Milla has a baby, that will make her fallible. She’ll no longer be the woman he met, powerful in her confidence and care. She’ll be vulnerable. His father always spoke of his mother (on those few rare occasions he was willing) as if she’d been completely untouchable, as though she’d made the sun shine and the flowers bloom. If she’d been so wonderful, so capable of anything.. what had been the variable that led to her demise? It had to be him.

He doesn’t want to be the nail in the coffin for another woman he loves.

Milla is already a mother in many ways; she treats every child at Whispering Rock as her own, much the same as she did for the children in the orphanage, a long time ago. There’s also the obvious. Morris. It’s not the same with him. She is his mother in name and in role, but their relationship has always been in a gray area, something between parent and confidante.

So he worries, now, what bearing a biological child will do to her. Many would think it’s foolish, but it’s a superstition he’s carried for as long as he remembers. Mothers are cursed.

He remembers too late he has to actually respond to Milla, that she must be worried sick, thinking he doesn’t want her, doesn’t want them to have a family. He shakes the fog out of his head, and attempts to give her all the attention she deserves.

"..You," Sasha croaks, coming back to himself, and Milla nearly jumps as he seems to remember where he is, what conversation he’s having. "really?"

Her expression softens. There’s nothing she can do now but nod. "I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't sure, baby."

He gives her a headlong, flustered look. She catches a glimpse of how wide his eyes are behind his glasses. "And you're..." He gestures vaguely, prompting her to answer a question he doesn't know how to ask.

"Fine. ..Tired, but I'm healthy." She catches his hand, sliding their fingers together. She very nearly manages to put a smile on his face, which she’ll count as a win. "And happy. Very happy."

His free hand hovers about her, unsure and unwilling to reach out to her. Gently, she guides the questing hand down to her hip. That's safe for both of them, and frankly very hard to miss. "Are you happy?" She asks him, and preps herself for any answer he could give.

"It's incredibly complicated," he responds, and that's not one of the answers she'd been anticipating, but she listens to him without judgment. "I... love you, and I wouldn't turn down an opportunity like this. But I'm inclined to be.. afraid. That something will happen to you. ..it's unavoidable."

After hearing something so sweet, Milla simply can't help herself. She surges forward to kiss him silly.

He squawks in surprise and embarrassment, and she only kisses him harder, willing him to spend just a moment without overthinking. When she pulls away, his entire face is flushed. She likes that she can do that to him.

“You’re such a gentleman,” she coos, and she thinks her cheeks are starting to hurt with the force of her smile, “so kind. So considerate. We’ll do this together, yes? My knight in shining armor will be there to lend an ear if I have concerns?”

“Always,” he says, and his response is so swift that it makes her want to cry. “I’m just worried that I’ll lose you.”

Milla shakes her head, gently nudges his chin so she can kiss him properly on the forehead. “You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. You won’t lose me. I won’t let that happen, darling. Put a bit of faith in me.”

“All of my faith, and everything else. I’ll give you everything you need.”

She kisses him again, bumping their foreheads together. “I already have what I need. Just you.”

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 17 REACTION (SPOILERS)

CELIA GIRL WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT DO YOU MEAN AGAIN WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND WAKING UP ON VEHICULAR ROADWAYS

So she woke up in Oxford that's what I'm hearing. Does girlie go dimension hopping in her sleep but wake up in random places bc of it???

The way Celia said "absolutely" just gave me butterflies also Sam MOVE Alice is right you're like a baby foal now let me show you have to rizz up a milf-

Celia girl what is GOING ON

MAGNUS STATEMENT???? HEY HEY NOW WHAT THE FUCK. WHO HAS THE FILES WITH ALL THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE EXPERIMENTED PEOPLE. I DONT HAVE IT BUT MAYBE WE COULD MATCH THE SUBJECT NUMBER TO A NAME

it is kinda concerning to me that after Celia talks to Sam that we get a MAGNUS statement

BIG SOFT LOOKING GUY WHO STUMBLED OVER EVERY WORD???? BOOKISH LOOKING GUY WITH SERIOUS MILES???? WAIT NO WHAT THE FUCK WAIT WAIT WAIT YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS. JONMARTIN???? IS THAT YOU????

Going away for a while???? Lonely-coded lmao and also me-coded

Magnus Institute Outreach Centre??? What the fuck??? They're like. Pretending to be a help center or like. A real institute???

Harcourt House? Sounds like a rich manor or something. A friend of Lady Mowbray's perhaps?

THE OTHER MYSELF???? IM SORRY WHAT THE FUCK NOW????

Meeting a successful version of yourself GONE WRONG

Oh my God wait WAIT IS THIS GUY'S OTHER VERSION FROM A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE??? IS THAT WHY DETAILS ARENT LINING UP FOR THEM????

Holy shit. Holy shit what the fuck. What the FUCK. Oh my God. So this is. This guy is literally just a fucked up person. Like. Dear God.

Oh my God it's his dad. Okay well. If the dad was a shitty person...I mean I don't condone it but I can see why that might have happened?

"Your world and mine are pretty similar" What does that mean????

This kind of reminds me of the statement in TMA season 4 where that woman keeps killing people because she's a good person and donates to charity and can make a difference and deserves to live. I wonder if this was the way she thought in the beginning. Although, she was killing innocent people. This guy killed a sadistic murderer.

OH MY GOD CELIA DEFINITELY REPLACED THIS UNIVERSE CELIA. HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. OKAY I DONT KNOW IF SHE KILLED HER BUT SHE DID SOMETHING TO REPLACE THIS WORLD'S CELIA.

This...Kinda also parallel's Not Sasha replacing Sasha and no one knowing it. It's just that Celia isn't actively trying to harm people. At least she seems to feel guilty for replacing this universe Celia??

JMJ ERROR AGAIN?? but I thought we just found our in universe jmart as well.

Gwen's a tech girlie???? Also Dyhard shippers are being fed this ep lol

Ethernet PROTOCOLS??? Lmao I'm kidding I'm kidding

OH DYHARD SHIPPERS ARE REALLY BEING FED HUH MY GOD SKDHAOJFDB

I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY. SO WE MIGHT HAVE AN IN UNIVERSE JONMARTIN. AND THEN CELIA MAY HAVE MURDERED THE IN UNIVERSE VERSION OF HERSELF TO REPLACE HER. GIRL WHAT THE FUCK. I really hope she didn't murder her but maybe it's like...possession? Body sharing???

Also I realized that the possible jonmartin sighting is from another universe not the one that we're in. But that's so funny to me because in SOME universe, Jon had to go to COURT MANDATED THERAPY

So from what I understand, this guy is from a third universe, not the TMA or TMAGP universe, and he managed to stumble into the TMAGP universe. I'm saying this bc I hope that in some other universe, jonmartin have a chance.

[pumpkinhrat]

(Sorry to keep fic dumping in ur asks but this au has me feral :P)

     Jonathan Sims is not a ‘dating app’ sort of man. Except for the fact that, yes, apparently, he is. There’s something deeply fascinating, he’s learning, about being able to click through people’s lives in a matter of minutes. To have their personal values and oddities laid out on a platter for him to pick through. For some inexplicable reason, people are willing to put their entire lives on an app if it has a chance to find them a partner. Or get them laid, if Tim is to be believed. That particular aspect, of course, is largely unappealing, but Jon has to admit that being able to thoroughly vet each person he talks to is incredibly enticing.

     After leaving work (at 5 o’clock sharp, he may add, since his assistants never allow him to stay any later these days) and returning home, Jon is only able to resist the allure of his newly installed app for half an hour. He barely manages to make himself a cuppa (slightly underbrewed and thoroughly over-sugared) before he collapses on his grandmother’s old couch and swipes open his phone. At work, he’d only allowed himself a few minutes to peruse the profiles that Tim and Sasha had handpicked for him. Some of them had been insultingly bland – bureaucrats and financiers and the ilk – which is borderline offensive. He knows he was a bit uptight those first few years but good lord.

     The one profile he keeps circling back to, even now curled up alone on his couch, is Martin’s. When Sasha had told him Martin was Tim’s favorite, Jon had almost unmatched on that premise alone but Martin’s biography had caught his eye. Jon balances his tea in one hand as he scans the words for a third time.

     ‘Tea, poetry, and cows. Love those nights where there are twice as many stars as usual.’ Jon’s mouth ticks up against his will again but he doesn’t try to tamp down on it now that he’s in the privacy of his own home. A poetry reference is enough to pique his interest, he can admit to himself (even if he thinks most contemporary writers’ language is typically far too flowery) and this quote in particular is eye-catching.

     One of the many, many books Jon had consumed during his childhood had been a first edition of Laura Gilpin’s The Hocus-Pocus of the Universe. Each of the poems in that book had been short, simple, and utterly devastating. He’d spent many a late night under his covers with a flashlight, extrapolating endless meaning from 10 line poems. The Two-Headed Calf is a personal favorite. Something about how unearned tragedy is gently juxtaposed with naive wonder at simply living grabbed young Jon’s mind and has refused to let go. Objectively, he knows his connection to this particular poem likely has something to do with the sudden loss of his parents and the themes of hope and humanity in the face of grief that Gilpin’s work tends to address. That doesn’t stop him from tracing the words in Martin’s bio with an aching sort of fondness, though.

     It’s probably unwise to connect a stranger and an emotionally charged poem from his childhood in his mind, but Jon can’t help it. He’s been… lonely since Georgie. Not that he’d ever admit that to Tim or Sasha. No, they’d be far too smug and far, far too concerned. And besides, it’s not as if he’s a child. It’s not as if he needs constant attention or affection. It’s quite the opposite in fact; Jon has always been a wildly independent individual. It’s just… Perhaps Georgie changed that part of him. Eroded the barriers he’s had up since his mother’s passing just enough for this– this feeling to seep in. He’d forgotten what it feels like to need someone. He hates the feeling and yet can’t help but curl into it like a lost child.

     This is completely unadvisable. He is attaching– complicated emotions to a complete stranger because they happen to like a poem he read as a child. A swell of derisiveness rises in Jon’s chest and he firmly clicks his phone off. Tim and Sasha are a ridiculous pair who are always planning some stunt or another to get Jon ‘back out there’. It was absurd when Sasha had sent him to her cousin's flower shop with directions to ‘ask her what she thinks the most romantic flower in the world is’ and it’s absurd now. Utterly absurd and a definitive waste of his time. He should really just delete the app off of his phone and be done with the entire affair.

     He turns on a documentary to drown out the twisting of his thoughts and sips at his lukewarm tea, grimacing at the taste. He really should stop trying to make tea for himself, it’s always a disappointment compared to what he’s used to at work. Speaking of… Jon reaches for his work bag and pulls out a few documents he’s been meaning to look into, settling them on the coffee table while the documentarian’s voice drones on smoothly in the background. He conveniently forgets to delete the app.

–

     It’s been three days. Martin checks his phone no less than 10 times an hour. He catches himself staring at Jon’s open office door so often that he surreptitiously angles his chair so he’s not facing it anymore. His back hurts from twisting around.

     Why did he think swiping right on his boss was a good idea?? Is he mad? It doesn’t matter if Jon Super Liked him first, it was probably a prank or a mistake or- or a really weird way to keep tabs on him. Jon has always been super intense like that. Because it’s not as if Jon’s actually interested in him. He hasn’t shown a single sign that he finds Martin any more intriguing than Tim or Sasha. He treats the three of them exactly the same – like friends.

     It’s maddening.

     When Martin had first returned to the office after swiping right, he’d barely been able to contain himself. He’d been giddy and sick with nerves and excitement at seeing Jon because surely he knows. Surely he knows now that Martin has been harboring a vicious crush for years and is finally acting on it. Or even if he doesn’t know all that, at least he knows Martin’s interested, that he’s an option as a romantic partner. It’s nauseating and elating and Martin couldn’t breathe when their eyes had first met that morning.

     And then Jon had blithely handed him a statement to file and turned away without so much as a greeting. The adrenaline crash had nearly made his knees give out.

     What was he thinking? It’s been three days of that now. Three days of delusional, hopeful anticipation followed by soul-crushing disappointment. It’s been exhausting and demoralizing and Martin really isn’t sure how much more he can take. He considered asking Tim for help but he thinks better of it when he remembers how Tim had teased when Martin had told him about his crush. No, it’s much better to deal with this on his own.

     Tucking his phone under his desk, Martin opens up his notes app. A dozen half-formed opening lines shine back up at him. They range from completely corny to overly formal, battling between what Martin would normally open with and what he thinks Jon would like to see. He does avoid mentioning work or that they know each other in all of the messages, though. It seems best to follow Jon’s lead in that regard. A few of the ones he’s written directly mention the few things Jon had put in his bio, like the fact that he has a cat. Actually, that one may be a front runner…

     “Watcha lookin’ at, Marto?” A voice booms from behind him and Martin jumps a half foot in the air.

     “Christ, Tim!” Martin spins in his chair to face him, one hand plastered against his chest and the other clicking off his phone. “Warn a guy, would you? You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Tim chuckles and Sasha makes an amused snort from her desk. Martin sends her a betrayed look.

     “He called your name, like, three times dude,” Sasha laughs at him.

     “Yeah, I was worried you might be ignoring me there for a moment. What could I have done to deserve such treatment?” Tim clutches a dramatic hand over his heart and Martin can’t help but huff a laugh. He presses his phone face down on his leg.

     “I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just absorbed in something. What do you need?”

     “Well, you know the Rodriguez statement?”

     It’s not until three hours and six dusty files later that Martin finally gets back to his phone. It takes another 45 minutes and a lot more hemming and hawing, but eventually he settles on an opening line.

     ‘Hi Jon! I’m looking for a cat-dad.’ Then, after a few more minutes of debating, he adds on ‘You seem perfect for the job!’ …Then a winking kaomoji. And a heart.

     Subtlety’s for cowards, anyway.

[start here] --- [previous part]

ANON, KEEP FIC DUMPING ME PLEASE It makes me so sooo happy I don't even have the words to describe it! And receiving it makes me want to get back to drawing and I'm really happy it makes your brain go a bit feral ksjhfkshfk

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING Your writing style is absolutely *chef's kiss*

UPDATE: You can read the whole story by JJanuaryRain on AO3! Go give them lots of love -> "all's fair in love & tinder"

[that-one-i-think]

This.. May be the hunger games au anon (you already know who I am so do I rlly need to make myself anonymous) Been thinking about how Sasha and Michi went on a field trip to Tu'La at the end of s2, where do you think they'd go and what would they do? Obviously they're there to do evil or whatevs but could they even have fun? (especially since Tu'La is at war)

You're good! Replying in comments is very different than being in a post! Also this is a wonderful question and thank you so much!

So Michi was a child child when she left Tu'la and the war in Tu'la didn't happen until Liochant was 10 and he is 26 now. Michi is probably around the same age so her memories of Tu'la is pre North Takeover so she originally went with no understanding of the countries current state and Sasha went in plane blind.

Michi will immediately try and start thieving and scamming, and Sasha will use what little magic she has to make people forget if they get caught. It plays out like a 2000's girl roadtrip comedy with a focus on Sasha embracing girlhood after dealing with the fact that Kenmur, her ex fiance, is now remarried.

They straight up get into shenanigans and become wanted by many officials. Originally, they aren't too worried until they find out what exactly happens to criminals. They can not be sent to the gladiator pits because Michi can't fight and Sasha is a shadow knight and they love sending those to the pit.

It slowly turns from a comedy to a "WE NEED TO ESCAPE THE COPS" movie. I think it will stay completely platonic but there are situations where they go "THATS MY WIFE!" To screw with people and quickly confuse others to escape.

I honestly think they are thriving and making so many enemies it is unreal.

[ratatatastic]

scare the hoes more and keep yapping about ekky (& others) getting used to maffhew, it delights me. and say even more about how sasha handles this feral and sweet omega that gets dropped into his orbit. smth smth “feels like i’ve known him 10 years” or whatever vows sasha recited to the press, cameras, and god

apparently we are taking more tumblr user ratatatastic abo yap thoughts for 500 may god hear our screams up wherever he is. big man in the sky you fuckin owe me one.

i think theres so much in particular to say in concerns of 1619 and how quickly they gelled irl but even more so in an abo au

ive always enjoyed when people assign matthew stronger scents that take getting used to if you don't like it already and i know ive read a fic where his scent notes did skew towards stronger cinnamon foods/drinks

anyways on that note it wouldnt surprise me that sasha takes so easy to this spicy little omega.

Like of course he does, he smells like the pastries he used to eat back at home, the pastries he eats now because he's found an established Finnish bakery down here that makes them homemade every morning, the bakery he likes to frequent with the other Finns when he can.

Is it ever a wonder that the cute omega that sent him such a terribly sweet text when the trade news broke out (you know, after the initial excitement worn off because Sasha does chuckle at memory of the brash "Fucking, right!" that pinged on his phone the very first time from an unknown number) smells like... home... No matter all the rumours that have swirled around Matthew, the rumours Sasha has personally experienced himself playing against him...he smells nostalgic. Like Sasha could be at home right now—you know, home home—lounging outside his cottage with tea and pastries on the little table that he's set out. The warm cinnamon that wafts from the typically sterile room they've assigned for pressers smells divine, for lack of a better word. It smells indulgent. Because Sasha can't have those homely pastries all the time, what, with his training regiment.

It's why he doesn't quite believe it that Matthew's the one that's the centre of it all. He's absolutely convinced he's hallucinating because the season is about to start and he's had to cut back on all his favourite sweets as much as it pains him to but for the betterment of the team? He'd do anything. And yet despite the way he rubs at his nose to at least try to clear it, he smells that cinnamon. That cinnamon that's definitely coming from new omega they traded over who's laughing so obnoxiously at the lectern they have set up that if his scent didn't catch your attention, his loud mannerisms certainly did. His voice is practically bouncing off the walls in big loud echoes that should hurt Sasha’s ears. Emphasis on should. As it is he finds his heart melting more than it should instead.

It's been quite a long time since someone's scent has moved him this much. All the people that have, have been in his life for so long he's forgotten what it's like to feel instant scent compatibility. His nostrils are flaring and he's trying his best not to open his mouth to huff in big gulps of it because it's rather impolite to be so obviously scenting the new guy. It could be misconstrued as Sasha taking offence to the new presence in the room.

Some part of his brain is still trying to catch up to the idea that Matthew even smells at all because the first time he met him (down here for some joint offseason ice-time) he didn't particularly smell like much, if at all really. Whether it's because he put on blockers to not intrude on pack territory until he smelled more like them, or he was still on suppressants even in the summer, Sasha wasn't sure and he definitely wasn't going to ask about it.

Known him for 10 years? He feels like he's known him his whole life. But 10's a safe number, 10's a number that won't scare off this new omega, right? 10's a number that conveys "As Captain I want this to work out, I'm opening up my pack for you, I won't shun you, you're welcome here," and not "If I stick my nose in your neck right now to scent you, they're gonna have to forcibly evict me from the new home I've found in you, and it's not gonna be a pretty outcome."

It's also why he's a little nervous when Media Day is over because despite how much it dragged along in years past it practically blitzed by and now Sasha has to—

You know, properly scent the new addition. Give them the purring acceptance of their Pack leader's scent to carry with them. And it's nothing big, it's just some chaste wrist rubbing... something subtle and not too overwhelming for everyone: the pack, and the newcomer alike. It's not like Sasha is going to mouth at Matthew's neck glands. He doesn't think he can even handle that right now but that's a problem for future Sasha—for when Matthew is really part of the pack and not like a goldfish in a plastic bag being dunked into an aquarium to get used to the water temperature. He just has to rub his wrist against his, it's like basic Alpha etiquette. It'll be fine, mostly. He hopes.

And it's as anticlimactic as he thought it'd be: gentle reintroductions and reignited chatter of excitement about the new season that's about to start... maybe just with the new lingering scent of sweet and spice in the background as if someone lit up a candle without Sasha even noticing it. It's a struggle to keep his eyes from closing from how heavy they feel, from how relaxed he feels in the presence of this new omega he knows has pissed him off on several occasions as composed as he was about it.

Matthew presents his wrist in a flourish successfully managing to divert his attention back to what they're supposed to be doing all alone like this in the dressing room like this, "I'm sure you've been dying to do this huh, Cap?"

Sweat starts to break out at the back of his neck. He knows? Sasha doesn't think he's been sending off any signals that could've hinted otherwise but Sasha admits that he's well out of practise, he hasn't had to reign in his scent this much in such a long time, and maybe Matthew picked up his weird fixation—

Matthew waggles his eyebrows for extra effect an offbeat later when the joke doesn't seem to land the way he wanted it to.

Oh, thank Christ, he's just teasing him. It's a joke. He doesn't actually mean it in the way Sasha thought he meant.

"Yes. Yes, I have," Sasha chuckles in relief, shaking his head at Matthew's attempt to lighten the mood.

"10 years, or so I've heard, bud."

"You heard? Uh, listened to the..." he trails off.

"Kinda hard not to when the setup made it sound like you were in the middle of the Earth, my guy. I don't think my ears are ever gonna recover from that."

"It's the first day for everyone," Sasha lightly chastises, not particularly aggrieved at all but wanting to keep up the banter to stall for time, so he can prepare himself. Quite honestly he feels like travelled back in time to the young anxious Alpha he was breaking out into the league for the first time.

"Be gentle, I bruise easily."

"Right, gentle. I'll treat you better than my clothes on the delicate cycle."

"Is that supposed to be a line?" Matthew says in glee, his voice pitching into incredulity.

"Line like fishing?"

"Oh, come on! You know what I'm talking about! You've been in this country long enough to pick up on that!"

"Yes, yes, that."

Matthew shoves at his shoulder playfully. "Just go on and do the thing already."

"Doing the thing."

Matthew snorts but his wrist is limp in Sasha’s hold. And as much as it was a dumb joke he does feel delicate between his fingers like that. So delicate that when he rubs his own wrist against his—to transfer over their pack scent—he feels like he's going to break it if he holds onto it for too long. It's why he drops it as quick as he took it, hands scrambling to his sides in an effort to remain polite but also to get a handle on himself so his pheromones don't go haywire with the new stimulus. It's a bit of a losing battle because he knows his scent just. But he can play it off as the excitement of an Alpha being able to claim another member to his pack, it's a possessive kind of thing.

"Well, see you around! Call it a hunch but I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other." And the joke wasn't funny the first time, truly the equivalent of leaning on the office fax machine and going "You come here often?" to your coworkers who just want to get their work done—and just as sleazy too with the greasy grin Matthew has permanently stuck to his face but Sasha still laughs like he did the first time he heard it.

And it's only now that Matthew is gone that Sasha realises the room smells strongly of cinnamon, so potent that anyone with a working nose would be able to tell that. Like Matthew was doing his best to ease Sasha’s obvious nerves when Sasha should've been the one to calm the omega who's been uprooted from their own pack and thrown into a completely new environment, himself.

"Jesus, it reeks in here. Smells like cinnamon," Aaron wrinkles his nose, wandering back in after his own media duties were done, finding Sasha all alone in the locker rooms.

"It does?" Like he can't tell the room smells like the equivalent of someone knocking over a Yankee Candle into an open fire.

"Yeah, like an awful lot." Aaron scrunching up his nose, trying to fight off an incoming sneeze. "It's strong," he says without thinking, swallows before his eyes shift over to Sasha and then to the floor, "Not bad just... strong..." The I can get used to it is left unspoken between them.

"I like it," Sasha admits because if Aaron is confessing to things without thinking then he might as well too. They've known each other long enough.

"I can tell." Aaron snorts, "You reek too."

Sasha lets out a questioning little noise, tilts his head to the side as he silently urges Aaron to continue.

"You have no idea what cinnamon and cardamom smell like together, do you? I feel like I walked into a bakery when I should be at the gym right now."

"Is that bad?"

"For you? No, of course not," Aaron's eyes soften, and while his scent wasn't anywhere close to abrasive, it does lighten up just a tad bit in the presence of his pack Alpha. "For me? I'd rather dunk my head in a bucket of coffee beans." A bit of an exaggeration on Aaron's part but the wry grin he has on really adds to the fact he's just joking—just a little, maybe there's some truth hidden in there. He knows how Aaron is, the way he tries to downplay anytime he bristles about something. Peace and vibes, and all that.

So Sasha can joke as well, "Forsy's stall is over there," and motions his head towards it across the room.

"Oh, hilarious."

"If I was funny I would say jock."

"You know, what? I think I will hit the gym today, thanks for reminding me."

"Mmm, anytime." And when Aaron's half out the door he adds, "Ask the staff where they put the jerseys we used today!"

"I'm going! To the gym!" he echoes back, not bothering to turn around as he shuffles down the hall in a hurry, and decidedly not going in the direction of the gym. It's not surprising when he hears chatter pick up and shoes scuffing briskly into the direction of the laundry rooms.

[notwritinganyflufftoday]

Snippet Sunday

It's sunday again and conversations are happening, aka me wondering if they'll EVER get to the monastery.

Sasha's blood boils at how unreasonable the Gods are, if this is how they treat people then do they even have a heart?

"Did you ever curse someone?" Sasha asks.

"What is warfare if not a curse on civilisation? I may have never cursed an individual for slighting me, but many died under my rule all the same," Faro replies candidly, "What does that make me?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do. You're just too scared to admit it."

Sasha huffs out a laugh, "Of course I am. If I did, I'd be slighting all the Gods."

"And yet, there is still one God you worship," Faro stops him in his tracks and makes Sasha look at him by tilting up his chin and holding it in place, "and no, it's not Odila, I know that much by now."

Sasha tries to look anywhere except at Faro's intense brown eyes. Up close, the red veins, which are supposed to be in everyone's eyes, are missing. His eyeballs look more like glass, polished and shined to perfection. The hand touching his chin is warm and firm.

"How is a God worthy of your worship supposed to act?" Faro asks, no louder than a whisper.

He can hardly breathe... or think, which is a problem because Faro just asked him a question. Why is Faro asking him such things while looking at him like that?

Eventually he replies, "No human expects the sun to stop shining in their eyes just because they asked nicely. In turn, no human expects a God to bend to their will."

"But if you could?" Faro sounds genuinely curious.

Sasha pulls himself free from Faro's grasp and thankfully he lets him go easily. His skin still tingles where Faro had been touching him.

Awkwardly he says, "I've never entertained such absurd thoughts."

"Liar."

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