#where there's some kind of insulation between you and all of your parents problems bc there is no one else

[ablednt]

Granted I have the overall geographical and cultural knowledge of a 4th grader but from what I can tell the nuclear family model really does seem to be a white colonial invention

Different cultures have different approaches but I mainly hear about either large family units where multiple generations support each other and raise their children and grandchildren together or an "it takes a village" approach where children are raised somewhat communally

And I can't really speak on it much or claim that these families were free of abuse or that children aren't often an oppressed group basically everywhere I know of but the way ownership of your children is so engrained into white society is so bizarre

Like once you notice it you can't unnotice it even the most loving well meaning parents don't know what to do about it because everyone is so isolated from their own families and their own communities so you wind up with 1-2 parents who have full legal ownership of their child and are raised in a culture where you don't have personhood until you're 18 and all attempts at self actualization before them are seen as clueless rebellion. Like our culture is so divorced from the concept that a parent is someone who is helping mentor and care for their child so they can thrive as a fellow human being and it's actually so alarming

And ik this problem isn't unique to white and colonized people but it's honestly really soothing to hear about how other cultures approach and view parenting and community as a whole and to internalize it doesn't have to be this way

[rattusrattus3]

Can I ask you a few questions about feminism? I got into Riot Grrrl and have since found feminism. What's a fadfem? What's third wave feminism? How would you describe your feminism? I hope you dont mind the questions

Wow! I love this question !!! Thank you so much for reaching out! I wanna say I am not the authority on feminism and feminist issues and reccomend doing lots of your own research, please don’t take my word for things! I’m just a 21 yr old

Ooh riot grrrl is so fun! Love that for you! I think that as a movement it had really good intentions but in practice kind of ended up being white, classist and exclusionary in some cases (not a judgment on you! Just a fact about mainstream feminism in a Racist society! Here’s a source about that, just paste it into sci.hub.se if you cant access it!)

rad fem? i think is maybe what you mean? it means radical feminist and they are not very radical, their main platform thing is that womanhood is all about having a vagina and whatever so theyre very trans exclusionary and I dont like them, highly recommend against rad fems 

third wave feminism! so basically people who study feminism have categorized it into different waves, or time periods/ideologies. Third-wave was 90′s to 2010s, it has some problems because of its association with neoliberalism (which advocates for individual action to systemic problems, relies on capitalism and the free market, and of course is still pretty exclusionary in many spaces, in terms of being very white, abelist, middle/upper class, etc), But third wave feminism is about like individualism and diversity 

fourth-wave feminism is what we’re in right now ! feminism is constantly evolving and growing through its mistakes and learning so much! Fourth wave feminism is much more aware of intersectionality, (intersectional feminism was coined by Kimberly Crenshaw, heres an amazing video of her talking about) intersectionality is the fact that different aspects of your identity will impact you in different ways, so for example, a cis white woman will not experience the same discrimination of a trans woman of colour, intersectionality is about recognizing your privilege, using it where you can to help others, and educating yourself about issues you may not have experience with (or that you do!) (like colonialism, racism, mental health/abelism, ageism, classism, homophobia and transphobia, etc etc etc). 

feminism for me is about the dismantling of the hetro-capitalist-patriarchy, a system which is fundamentally unsustainable as it revolves around the accumulation of profit for more capital, and this is at the expense of others, i say hetro- because the hetrosexual, two parent, nuclear family system is a fundamental part of the system which seeks to create and raise little workers who feel they are an individual, always under surveillance and need to compete with others to survive (see Michel Foucault!) het normativity has gotta be dismantled and we gotta get away from it, and the trad family supports uneven power realtions between spouses and children and as an insulated system is a huge site of abuse for many people. i say capitalist bc capitalism is a fucking disease and literally the source of most of our enviornmental problems and has been used to justify racisim and colonialism and its gotta be undone. Patriarchy is the culutral system that priveleges men over women, defining men as “rational, logical, smart, strong, and multifaceted” and women as “one dimensional, emotional, and reliant on men”

bell hooks is a great famous feminist author i highly recommend, she believes that all forms of oppression are interlocked (sexism, racism, classism, speciesism, etc), and the only way to liberation was to simultaneously dismantle the oppressions that affect us, (primarily within and because of a capitalist system!) she has some great books i reccomend like feminist theory from margin to centre, theres a free pdf for ya ;) 

another book i really recommend is Making Space for Indigenous Feminism edited by Joyce Green

for me personally, feminism involves a lot of stuff, like anti capitalism, body autonomy, intersectionality, supporting indigenous sovereignty, protecting eachother from sexual assault and general abuse, and supporting organized actions that actively support the marginalized members of my community (and fuck cops! theyre not our friends theyre not on our side!)! for me feminism looks a lot like constant self evaluation and critical analysis, acknowledgment of privilege, and a desire to improve rather than be perfect! for example, I am white and a settler, so I am racist by default because of having been raised in a white supremacist, settler society, BUT i can actively do my best to unlearn my racisim and all the other forms of oppression(like classism and sexism and abelism) that i have learned! and that at the end of the day is what feminism is about for me, is trying to figure out how to ensure love and liberation for all beings around me, i also know i will always be doing harm as long as i live and participate in a capitalist society, so its important to know that I am not perfect and make a lot of mistakes, and am trying to do what I can with what I have to learn how to do less harm, in a world that is hurting a lot. Feminism for me is about listening to others and learning from others. sorry for the rant, a lot was left out, people are free to comment! heres a feminism tag on my blog where i reblog stuff that i think of as feminist issues