#where jesse's parents hired a private detective after he disappeared

[lake-cosay]

i always get emotional over this bc like. jesse has to know that he is, by far, physically the weakest person there and the least capable of protecting lake, yet he does it anyways.

jesse's way of protectin his loved ones is by putting himself in between them and the threat.

he'd rather get hurt than let them get hurt. and it doesnt read as self-sacrificial to me, it feels like he does it bc he doesnt want to start a fight, but his priority is making sure his loved ones are safe

even if he knows he's not particularly capable to protecting, he's going to try. he's not confrontational but he is so, so protective.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Matt, although semi-retarded, is not inbred.

His parents met at Yale.

His mom was raped by his grandpa and so Matt's dad, he didn't put up with that...

And its a really sad story.

So they went running around the country like hippies. And they changed their names because they could always feel Matt's grandpa at their heels.

But then... That old trailer park in Alabama... And Raul. They loved him, he was the neighborhood everything.

And Jesse did hobo on trains but Raul got him a trailer and a job as a maintenance man.

We owned our trailer but they had trailers to rent that the park owned. And they were all in those, or rent to own. Some were furnished.

So they were loving the park and Raul and the retired chief of police's daughter was living there and he sold hemp as oppose to Marijuana. They didn't feel they could find a better place to call home.

And they had me, my dad was often on the ship or away and i lived with them most of the,time otherwise my mother would abuse me in some fashion.

And then Rauls wife would,cheat and on and on

So eventually, Matt, his parents, Raul and his daughter and then my dad lived in a tiny trailer.

But we were happy.

The adults all loved to cook and they picked their own seasonings to use. So we would ne playing at the park and come home and tell who was cooking by the taste or smell even,if we saw no one in,the kitchen.

Bitches, i can cook. I can tell you what's in a recipie by smelling it. It helps to see it... But yeah. I'm gonna say Matt knows good cooking but can't cook cause he ain't allowed to cook for no one. So there. He's horrible at it. And he is always drinking shakes cause no one can cook good and hes always lying that people can cook good when he eats because he's polite but a chronic liar. Beat me, you can't. Haha. I won't believe the lies he tells you. You can but you're dumb.

Anyways. So they knew the grandpa was catching up... They called home every so often and the area code would show and he would hire private detectives. They found out there was a bunch of people living in the trailer so he was all "just come home and ill give you money"

So the adults that mattered agreed to move to Mobile.

His mom didn't make it as I remember. I remember her being there. Because she was dead. But she didn't seem,dead because she really was just like she was alive but she didnt cook. Although sometimes I would put her special seasoning in soup, by climbing on the counter and hovering over the stove.

I got caught once and just got a big ole hug.

It was really the best family,

And his dad died in Mobile.

Both were murdered and we were all there when one of the detectives were killed. It was his grandpa's friend. We were camping.

I'll say I did it. And i don't care. He should not been there. And he shouldn't leave his gun on the seat of his car when children were around and he was sleeping. Especially when we were hiding.

And so thats why I tell people that I will kill them. Because i probably will and there really isn't anything i can do about that. All they have to do is leave me alone and everything is fine.

I don't really feel bad about who i am or the fact that sometimes you have to fight to the death.

But yeah, Matt isn't inbred. I know that. His parents met at Yale. She was going to be a lawyer and he was going to be a doctor.

So that's why I'm moving far away and not telling my mom where. History repeats itself a lot. But not if you won't put up with it.

I killed the PI. I can put up with that. I will invite my father to visit. But not her. And that's different than Matt's parents. They didn't invite the gramma.

You know we left that guy in his brown car to bloat and stink. He was nasty and he exploded. We waited until my dad came to Mobile from work and Jesse told him so my dad reported the body and said we smelled him from our campsite.

We were local heroes. My dad didn't admit to knowing. Raul said if my dad didnt guess or blame an adult then we would just be all we smelled him. But I had the gun, still so my dad was all "put it back!!" I was like "sure dad" but Raul told me to give it to the cops and say i took it out after (which i did) that way we could say it was suicide without the gun being in the correct place. But he was all strictly don't tell them anything about touching it before. So i was all cute "i touched it after, can i go play now?"

I had shot that car up like crazy, i was so little! So it was said it was suicide made to look like murder.

It was pretty clever. And honestly, it wasn't even me. It was Matt's mom. Like when she told me to put in the spices, she told me when and where to sneak away to, to find him asleep in his small old truck.

He was going to kill us. She knew. He fell asleep waiting for us to fall asleep.

Matt's grandpa says he was a hired gun, he would never use his best friend. But his friend disappeared a long time ago. And won't ever admit it because if he does, hes got 4 dead bodies and i have one. Even if someone else killed Raul & his kid cause it was paranoid crazy. Or was it just a jealous sicko?

Anyways.

Matt is a lot like his dad...

But I'm more like my dad and his mom. Some would say I'm like my mom but I'm not. I,don't beat up babies cause they're smaller than me. I beat up people that are bigger than me.

One,time, Dejoria, she became,smaller than me.

Leah is often smaller than me but she did something to me,personally in person that I will never forgive. So did Gary, Megan, & Lauren.

So they can go suck an exhaust pipe because I don't care how small they get. Ill find them and crush them. See JP Dejoria. Ive never helped him.

So while i have limitations, I'm not limited.

Because I actually have structure.

How many people can say they saved their family from death more than once? ---besides refraining from killing them?

I can say I've done both.

I know being inbred isn't a person's fault. Plenty of Royalty across the seas are inbred to keep the crown in the family, so its not necessarily bad.

But when someone is a product of incest rape and they are no different than the rapist that conceived them, its a one word explanation of their behavior.

They're not just inbred, they're a mirror image of what created them. So its a reminder, "I know who your father is"

And let him feel whatever he wants.

Its not nice. But its fair.