#where i just file paperwork and print things and deliver mail to employees and answer and redirect phone calls

[lawluenvy]

is there such thing as a paper-writing phobia??? like there are people out there with severe test taking anxiety (we call it an anxiety but it functions as a phobia in that with severe cases it induces panic attacks) and mine is pretty much that except it's papers- especially research papers and reports which are virtually the only papers you write in uni no matter what your area of study is which is why i cant just GO BACK even for an elementary teacher's degree and most certainly not for a masters in my bachelor's field because 1. i hate the academic establishment and the only good masters and phds in arts are for is continuing in academia because its an ouroboric incestuous institution and 2. PAPERS MAKE ME SUICIDAL

but gods its actually become such a problem.

once again i find myself unemployed and EI is taking forever to come through and i was excited about this job that i made it to the last interview stage of but i havent heard back yet and tmr it will be a week and even at one time entry level positions like receptionists and office assistant jobs now require you to have a degree (there are office administration CERTIFICATES FOR FUCK'S SAKE) or 3 years exp and just goddamn

but i cant go back to school

i cant because i loathe papers so much they give me insane panic attacks and just thinking about being in that position again makes me want to die and

dear gods why couldnt i just have kept my job at LEAST a full year before they laid me off cuz unfortunately 8 months is not an option in the toggle down menu of applications that measure in years and then i am auto weeded out and just

FUCK. MY. LIFE.