#where did this fuckin kid come from om lmao

[roccoroks]

Dag 3 THE DAG FILES! *que X Files music* The following events took place at the Spring Grand Rod Run, names have been changed to protect the stupid and liable. time:.......dark....ish im working a double, 2nd & 3rd shift pryor to the take over of the motel there for i was still a employee at the time and had to answer the a boss (the sorry motherfucker that he is) but thats another story/rant. its hot outside, people are pissing and shitting all over my lobby bathrooms and im trying to deal with 100+ geusts and god only knows how many classic cars... this is more of what its like to deal with multipul shitty guests and problems while working a rod run in pigeon forge tn. the grand rod run takes place twice a year and has more that 1000-2500 show cars through out the city of pigeon forge. we find our hero sitting on his ass watching youtube videos and eating potato chips and trying to download bootleged My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic episodes when the internet suddenly explodes and stops working due to me trying to download 30 episodes at once! this is more of what its like to deal with multipul shitty guests and problems while working a rod run in pigeon forge tn me: *prior to net crash* ^.^ *om nom nom nom* *internet crashes* me: O.O........shit....not good me: hey chris (we work in pairs on rod runs) chirs: whats up man me:.....um i think were fucked chris:what did you break? me: the internet....all of it chris: I FUCKING TOLD YOU NOT TO DOWNLOAD THAT MUCH PONY SHIT AT ONCE! me:.....sorry?...you fix?...please chris: *sigh* leave, NOW! me: *me runs out from behind the counter just as the phone rings* ~when the wifi goes down at the motel, you might as well have set the place on fire, eeeeveryone calls to tell you!~ me: front desk poc 1: (pissed of coustomer) yeah uh hi, the inter net is not working, how do i log on? me: (i know its not working, i broke it! ^.^) im sorry we are having technical difficulties and are trying to restore it as we speak! poc1: oh ok ill try later! bye me: that wasnt so.... *ring* me: front de..... rpoc: (realy pissed of coustomer) HEY THE INTRANETS NOT WORKING me: im sorry we ar....(did you just say "INTRANET"?) rpoc: WHEN I MADE MY RESERVATION I WAS TOLD THERE WAS WEEFI AND I DONT HAVE WEEFI WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO ABOUT THAT! me: sir im trying to get it back on line and i should have it working with in.....( WAIT...WTF IS WEEFI?) rpoc: I DONT WANT EXCUSES I WANT THE INTRANET FIXED me: sir? sir are you there? rpoc: *yells louder* I SAID IIIIII WWWWWWWWAAAANT TTTTHEEEEEEEE INTERNET FIIIIIXXXXXXEEDD NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOWWWWWWW CAN YO.... me: SIR YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP BECAUSE I CANT HEEEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRRRRR YYYYYYOUUUU! (fucking yell at me dick head) rpoc: *SOME HOW YELLS EVEN LOUDERER* III SAID FIX THE GOD DAMED INTRA......... me: idk chris i cant hear the guy, he sounds like a broken record. (lmao i soooooo can hear the vein in your head thumpin!) rpoc: you have got to be kidding me, now the fucking teller phone doesnt work *hangs up* chris: what was that all about? me: thats how you deal with a bad guest chris: great! now hes going to come down here and bitch to me me: yup, see ya later! me: *leaves to check parking lot for cars to tow,leaves chris to clean up mess* me: *looks out the window* (if there were any more cars in my parking lot it, this place would look like a poory orginized scrap yard) me: *walks outside for 3 hours* *3 hours, 2 beers and one smokey burn out from a dodge challenger later* *sitting at the desk, chris leaves for the night* chris: im turning my phone off, dont....fucking.....call...me! me:k me: (back to down loading ponies! and cruse CL for car parts) poc: AHEM! me: /).- (I will not respond to a clearing of the throat, what the fuck bitch, this aint high school) poc: AAAAHHEEEEMMM! ME: (NOPE! FUCK YOU) poc : EXCUSE ME! me: (was that so hard?....bitch) yes mam! may i help you? ^.^ poc: uuuhh you need to do something about that drunk guy in the pool.... me: drunk guy? poc: yes hes in the pool and hes drunk and i dont want to see that! me: ...*blank stare* poc: well.... me: (do i get any more info than that? ITS THE ROD RUN! EEEVVERRRRRYYYBODIES FUCKING DRUNK!) yes mam what does he look like? poc: HE IS THE DRUNK ONE! me: (com'on! take the hint!) mam this is the rod run and everyone in the pool is drunk, is he bothering you in anyway? poc: well..huh..he just shit in the pool.... me:........ me:....your shitting me....(i haha i made a funny) poc: she for your self! me: *goes to pool, see only 3 people in the pool, all of them drunk* me: soooo he just? poc: yup, he just dropped his swim suite and shit right in the pool, then he jumped it , then he told his friends that it was a candy bar and dared them to eat it! me: .......*speachless*.... me: ok mam, who dun shit in my pool *i sooooooo wish i was making this up* poc: him! *points at all 3 drunk people* me: (really? not the middle one, not the one on the right just that one?)ok witch one of them? poc: the fat one me: (THERE ALL FUCKING FAT!) ok witch fat one poc: I FUCKING GIVE UP! *STORMS OUT* me: (damn, she lasted longer than most, shee needs a discount!) me: *walks out into the pool* ok, who shit in my pool (this situation warents cussing) *all the drunk people* "HE DID" *AND POINTED AT EACH OTHER!* me: /).- WHERE IS IT! *again all three of them * THERE! *all three point in different directions!* me: soooo its everywhere.... *blank stares all around and akward silence* me: where....is..... the.... TUUUUUURRRRD *more blank stares* drunk guy 1: ummmmmm me: all of you, GET OUT! drunk guy 2: but what if we.... me: NOW! *all three exit pool* drunk guy: um when can we get back in the pool? me: tomorrow dunk guy 2: why so long? me: look im the only guy here and i have better things to do then go on a wild goose chase for a lone turd in the pool! drunk guy 1: well whos going to clean it up? me: NOT FUCKING ME! YOU WANA SWIM? GO NEXT DOOR AND LAY A LOG IN THEIR POOL! *they all think this is wildly funny and walk off to deuce one out in the smokey mountain lodge's pool* 30 mins and a few pissed off would be pool goers later ME:* just sat down to pizza* *ring, ring, ring,ring,ring* me: FOR FUCK SAKE! I HATE YOU PHONE *get up and walks to phone* me: *bangs knee on desk drawer* FUCKING OOOOOWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE ! FUCK YOU TOO BROKEN DESK DRAWER! AHEM! front deak *in sweet voice* dag: (room 403)" THE GAW DAMN INTRANET AINT FUCKIN WERKIN!"(i a heavy drunk southern accent) me: e.e...(you sound familar) its not? one second let me check. *puts customer on hold* me: *goes to bathroom to take a dump* 5 mins later me: (fuck ! hes still there!) *takes dag off hold* sir? dag: BOUT TIME! me: try it agian dag: I DONT FUCKIN KNOW HOW TO GET ON THE GAW DAMNEDED THING ME.......O.o (then how do you know its not working.....WAIT, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU....DO YOU EVEN COMPUTER BRO?) me: sir? dag: *YELLS TO WIFE* HEY! GET THA FUCK OVER HERE AND MAKE THE FUCKER WORK ME:  .....(oh my god this is like jerry springer) *long pause* dags wife in background: THERE! IT FUCKING WORKING...WAIT NO, YES...NO ITS NOT ME:.......sir? DAG: HANG ON DAMNED IT! ME:......*SUCKING BACK LAUGHING.....BECAUSE I JUST FLIPED THE BREAKER TO THE ROUTER KILLIN ALLLLL THE INTERNETS* dag: IT JUST WAS FUCKIN WERKIN THEN THE SHIT BROKE ME: HANG ON A SEC.....*puts dag back on hold, sit down and eats a slice of pizza* 4 slices of pizza later... me: *flips breaker back on, takes dag off hold* sir, HOW BOUT NOW? dag: HAY, HE SAYS ITS WERKIN........WELL.....GET THA FUCK OVER HUR AND MAKE THE TING GO! ~pernounce it just like i wrote~ long pause...... dag: aigh the fuckers workin now ME: go deal yall, yall has a goooooooood nigh nowww...... dag: hangs up me: (THAT WAS FUN! now for foods!) *almost sits down* *ring, ring,ring,ring,ring* me: FUCKING REALLY?!? ahem: front desk? dag: HAY ME: (oh gawd not you again) yes sir dag: what room are we in me: O.o..(really.....you dont even know what room....) 403 sir dag: im in 403? me: yes sir dag: TELL THEM FUCKERS ABOVE ME TO SUCK THE FUCK UP OR IMA GONA BEAT 7 SHADE OF SHIT OUT OF THEM! ME: (i would pay soooooo much money, you dont even know) sir its 930pm and during the rod run thing tend to go on until 12 am or so, im sorry but there nothing i can do dag: I GONA KICK THEIR ASSES! ME: SIR! PLEASE DONT GO......*CLICK* ME: *RUNS OUT THE DOOR TO THE 5TH FLOOR* FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! *arives at 5th floor.....its empty* me: ......(aint no one up here) *walks down to 4th floor, sees drunk guy outside 403, in whity tighties, passed out in the chairs* me: (im sooooo not dealing with that) *goes back to office* me: * sits down at the desk and see something out of the corner of my eye* *looks at security moitor* me: DAFUQ IS THAT? *switches to pool cam, see UFO (unidentified floating object)* me: nooooo, it cant be.... *zoooms in, sees large turd* ITS BACK! THE TURD! ME : *runs around the counter to the pool, trips on carpet and knocks over entire brocher rack* me: (deal with that later, I HAVE SOME SHIT TO TAKE CARE OF!) *at the pool* me: damn.....thats quite the deuce....atleast a 2 pounder *starts talking to myself in a steve irwin accent* me: wear hear in the confines of the pool room, in search of a veronious beast! SHHHHH *GRABS SCOOPER* aahw yea thar she is, just look at hur thear, she a absolute beauty! and shes a floata too! me: *lowers scooper, turd slide off the edge* awhh shes a fisty one she is! ima grab her tail! me: * trys to come from below and scoop it up, turd veirs away* shes a quick won! HUHO QUICK! THE SHELA IS MAKIN A BREAK FOR IT! me: *finaly scoops turd* HE SCOOPS HE SCORES!!!!!! * turns around see's hot girls laughing at me* me: *looks at turd on the scooper* (theres not a hole deep enough for me to craw off in right now) *drops turd in trash* * relocks pool goes to desk to commit suicide* 20 min later me: *watching youtube, probably supercharger videos around that time* dag: HAY, YOU BACK THUR? ME: (maybe if i sit reeeeeeeal still he will not see me) dag: HAY! *leans around counter* me; (FUCK! IT SAW ME) me: yes sir how ma.... dag: LISTIN THE INTRANET DONT WERK, YOU GOT US UNDER THESE LOUD FUCKING PEOPLE , YOUR POOL IS CLOSED AND IT AINT EVEN TIME TO CLOSE IT AND TO TOP IT OFF NOW MY TV DONT WORK me:im sorry sir (no im not) but i cant move you to another roome because we are full. dag: WELL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS! I WANT A GWAD DAMND DISCOUNT! ME: (no you need to put a shirt on, no one needs to see your "DD" man titties!) im sorry sir theres nothing i can do, you will need to talk to the manager in the..... dag: I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY AND COME THE FUCK DOWN HERE TO TALK TO A MANAGER I WANT THIS SHIT FIXED NOW! me: (and i want a decent blow job from my wife, but that shit aint going to happen either) im sorry bud but i cant do anything until morni...... dag: YOU CAN ATLEAST OPEN UP THE FUCKING POOL! me: sir i cant op.....SURE THING! TELL YA WHAT IF IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY I WILL OPEN THE POOL JUST FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS BUT NO ONE ELSE, IS THAT OK? dag: now thats more like it *walks out the door* me: (BAWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!) 15 MINS LATER. DAG AND HIS WIFE ARE SWIMIN IN THE POO WATER LAGOON *chis walks in with beer* chris: *stops, looks at the two fuckers swiming in the pool* you know its past 11 right? you not suppost to let people swim past 11 me; i know chris: oooookkkk why do they get to swim? me: because i hate them chris:sooo you hate them and they get to swim.....is that the motherfucker that yelled at me for the inter net not working? me: yup, and some one shit in there earlier to day too chris: *snots beer out his nose* HAHAHHA WHAT THE FUCK? me: yup, fuck them chris: thats sooooo wrong me: yup chris: your going to hell for this but it sooooo worth it /rant

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 29.09.17 lb

UGH I’M SOOOOOOOOO DEPRESSED GAURI’S NOT HEREEEEEE. IT SHOULDA BEEN BULBUL DECKING UP BHAUJAI AND CHATTERING UP A STORM 

what even is this entire outfit??? the bangles don’t even match the joda, like.... is shirali colour blind? 

AND RED JEWELS ON THE OTHER JEWELRY, LIKE... 

idhar toh these three are looking like murgas ready to go into the oven for roasting. ouff. thank god for their faces being attractive. 

does it really take two helpers to make sure your jacket is on justtttt right??? i mean, it’s a jacket. there’s no WRONG way to be wearing it. 

my heart is bursting at shivaay fixing up the other two though. such a dad he is. i love dad!shivaay the MOST. 

are these dadi and pinky's outfits for the day? so saaada and... like, they’re more dressed up on normal days than this??

ugh this damned nonsense golden ghoongat from the band baaja badhaiyaan wedding... this whole outfit would have looked waaay better without it. ouff i can’t. i just fucking can’t. why do they do my girl dirty like this????

shivaay’s like NOOOOOO UGUISE DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH TRAITOR MOM I NEED OM TO BE STANDING BEHIND ME SHOOTING LASERS FROM HIS EYES AT HER

aaaaaaaand he’s instantly gone into defensive mode, crossing his arms and looking away.

um, is that just one of anika’s maang tikas? i definitely feel like it is. i’m about... 96% sure. 

ok that starting bit was just kunal and lee joshing around. i loveee. my cutiepies.

“jab woh mere baare mein nahi soch rahi, main kyun sochoon?” 

oh and what about all the months she spent thinking ONLY about you??? did you think of her then? boy, fuck outta here. don’t make me come in there and kick your butt on a day you’re looking particularly fine. 

was that foreshadowingggggg????? 

oh god i’d forgotten about this ghoongat waali aafat. kaun hai be yeh? 

abhay’s here to be best buds with sahil. 

did anyone else have a panic attack seeing haldi-covered abhay sit on the white couch??? i know i did. #adulting #responsibleHomeowner

ok abhay’s fucking adorable. he’s handling sahil super well. *hugs my two cute boys* 

god now i want sumo to come back and get with abhay you guyz. they’d be sooooooo stinking cute with each other, can you even imagine?!?!!? OMGGGGGGGGG MY HEART IS BURSTING INTO RAINBOWS JUST AT THE THOUGHT!!!! #abhYa

abhay’s waaaaaaay too efficient for this show. like... we’re not used to someone being so productive and on top of things like this since the time anika left the wedding planning thing. 

omg abhay is male!Anika 

oh thank god, not “ho gayi teri balle balle” playing for the entry as shown in the BTS from jankee’s insta story. 

OK WHAT THE FUCK ANIKA’S WEDDING JODA IS THE SAME THING JHANVI’S WEARING BUT IN ANOTHER COLOUR?!!?!? COME THE FUCK ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I AM SO MAD RN

heart eyessssssssss motherfuckerrrrr

om’s smug grin in bg is best. 

lmao he almost fell overrrrrrr. idiot. 

OK WALK FASTER ASSHOLES, WE’VE BEEN WAITING FUCKING 4 MONTHS FOR THIS JUST... GET MARRIED ALREADY

aaaaaaaaand power cut? 

oh no, sorry. romantic moment where they’re the only two in the world.

EH? SUCH A RANDOM FLASHBACK OF THE CHAKKU DAYS??? 

ok the flashbacks are really ruining everything. it should have just been them staring at each other with heart eyes. 

haaaaaaaaye. 💖💖💖💖

OH GOD LONGEST WALK TO MANDAP EVERRRRRRRRRR

OK PLEASE STOP PLAYING OH JAANA OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

oufffff this is boring af (just like real life weddings) just get the wedding done withhhhhhhhhhhh

IT SHOULDA BEEN GAURI DOING THE GATTBANDHAN I AM CRYING TEARS OF BLOOD RN I AM I AM 😭😭😭😭😭

lmao dadi’s lil smack on billu’s face and anika giggling at it. such cute. 

LET THE KID DO THE DAMN KANYADAAN, PANDIT!!!!!!!!

um shakti? hi??? you were all MY BETI MY BETI up to two days ago, what happened to that??? 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS OMRU STEP UP!!!

but like... omRu are also younger than her??? they’re also her kid brothers, so... why not just let sahil do it? it’s the same thing??? 

ok whatever, i’m not sweating it too much, just give me all the fucking feels. 

shivaay and anika are this close to tears. WELL, TOO LATE FOR ME COZ IM ALREADY CRYING BISH 😭😭😭😭

lol omRu’s warning. 

ok but what i really wanna see is shivaay issue this warning to om re: gauri. 

MAN, WHO IS THIS USELESS FUCKING GHOONGAT FEMALE? 

omg i just saw the bottom half of anika’s joda and.... fuck. no. just... NO. 

OH GREAT MANGALAM BHAGWAN VISHNU AGAIN. i’ve heard this song enough timesssssssss from this show to last me this life and the next. and the next. 

sincerely hoping this is my 7th janam and i don’t have to enter the realm of human existence again though. 

pffffffffffffft, throwing the message in a paper ball, bitch does this look like 7th grade to you????? 

OH BOY SHIVAAY DON’T STOP THE PHEREEEEEEEEEEE 

aaaaaaaand paper ball’s been ignored. good. 

ooooh interesting, om’s having flashbacks to his own wedding. 

FUCK YOU RUDRA, HAVE FLASHBACKS TO YOUR WEDDING WITH SUMO YOU ABOMINABLE SHITHEAD

ok angsty/sad flashbacks and happy smiles and happy music are just... not a good match. 

new mangalsutra??? 

damn, i am so unexpectedly emotional right now??? it’s a silly tellywood wedding but i feel like it’s the wedding of someone really close to me and i feel all teary and shiz. my babies. 😥😥😥😥

FUCKING FINALLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY. JESUS CHRIST. ITNA ANTICIPATION AUR EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT TOH MUJHE APNI KHUD KI SHAADI MEIN BHI NAHI HOGA. 

“bhaiyya, keep it in your pants.” 

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP DADI THEY’RE MARRIED NOW THEY CAN FUCK ON THE MANDAP IF THEY WANT JUST BUZZ OFF

yeah ok ok enough emotional dialoguebaazi. go to your room and fucking bang now. come on. literally the only thing we’re still here for. chop chop.

“MERA HAQ HAI HUG KA AND PLEASE YEH DO FEET WAALA RULE KHATAM HO CHUKA HAI....”

billu don’t give a fuckkkkkkkkkkk who knows how thirsty he is to get it on with his wife. 

also lmao, did he just flip the bird???? 

abhay’s already encroaching upon rudra’s family photographer role. 

hein??? what’s this weird moment outside??? go do this in your room??? 

... ok stop shoving the water at each other, unless this is going to turn into another water war. 

SHIVAAY YOU STUPID BITCH TELL HER ALREADY FUCKIN HELL 

SHE ALREADY TOLD YOU OMG DON’T MAKE ME COME BEAT IT OUTTA YOU

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OK DADI NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE NOW

lmaooooooo billu’s rage at dadi hahahahahaha

wow, allll of billu’s lifelong resentments at dadi are phoot phoot ke coming out today.

yes please dadi, die already. i won’t stand for you cockblocking rikara this way. 

anika’s like omg everyone stfu about dying please. 

family photuuuuuu time. 

where’s rudra?

YES SHIVAAY, ASK FOR GAURI. ASKKKKKK FOR YOUR SISTER!

omg ommmmm imma kill you. 

why’s rudra standing away??? 

lmao i loveeee chubby. he’s so me. like why do people ask us things that we can’t possibly have the answer to??? hum kya antaryaami hai? 

eeeee shivaay pulling anika closer. such cute. 

chubby, that’s a useless warning. you just know he’s going to go be stupid. stupid is his default setting. 

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO SHIVAAY WISHING EVERYONE GOOD NIGHT AND BEELINING FOR THE ROOM. 

god just give your damn aashirwaad and fuck offf, old ppl.

“kaash dadi humein gift of privacy deti.” 

lolololololol

ohhhhhhhhhhhh boy. billu not even jhuking for pinky. 

oooh, she’s relinquishing the khaandaani kangan.

OUFF BILLU SHUT UP NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, ANIKA DESERVES THIS, COULD YOU JUST LET HER HAVE THIS MOMENT

wow even tej is advocating for pinky. bande ne jo u-turn maari hai personality mein... matlab, amaze only. 

billu dadi cuteness. GIMME MY GIFTTT!!!!!!!!!

lolololol dadi’s gift is their phones back. 

methinks billu needs to get a room with his phone first. 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhhhh boy. bhavya’s wedding is going to go for a toss. 

can’t fucking believe bhavya got a better joda than anika. imma killllll someone. 

begaani shaadi mein roohafza gatakne se kya hona hai, rudra? 

seeing all these ruvya scenes in the flashback for the first time, since i’ve fwded nearly everrrrryyyy scene of theirs. 

how does om know that THAT’s the person gauri messaged??? like???? 

OMG OM USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN. SHE GOT INSULTED FOR NOT KNOWING ENGLISH. SHE STARTED ACTING CAGEY. YOU’RE IN FRONT OF AN ENGLISH CLASS. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, IDIOT????

i really really want bhavya to marry manav. i really really do. 

.... that wasn’t rudra’s voice was it??? 

rudra body double alert. 

ohhhhhh boyyyy, ommm. 

pffft, scene stolen from jab we met. 

also look at our boy here, hotel clerk. doesn’t he look like a virile young stud who could go all day? 😏😏😏

“lekin ladki kahan hai???”  “woh bhi aa jayegi.” 

OMFG HIS WINKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK 

god, he’s paying by card???? for this shadyyyyass hotel? boy why??? this is gonna go on your statement!

FIRST OFF, HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT GUY’S NAME?? LIKE FUCK, EVEN I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS “ARJUN” AND I’VE ALREADY MET HIM. SECOND, GAURI IS A VERY, VERYYYYYYYYYY COMMON NAME. 

OMFG OMKARA

ok rudra has fucking lost it too. FUCKING HELL. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU LOSERS?!?!?!?!?! 

get him kickedddd outtttt bhavya. 

MISOGYNY AND LIES TO THE MAX. AMAZING. FUCKING AMAZING. 

PHYSICALLY??????????????? BITCH PLEASE. YOU WISH. 

COMMISSIONER COULD YOU OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH AND TELL HIM IT WAS A MISSION??!?!?!?!? 

WHAT HAPPENED KAL????? 

SLAP HIM BHAVYA SLAP THE FUCKING FUCK OUTTA HIM

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BOHUTTTTTT PEHLE KARNE CHAHIYE THA

bachpan se isse shivaay ne thapad maar maar ke bada kiya hota toh yeh aaj aisa nahi hota 

like, what the fuck did he even expect pulling a shitty stunt like that??? he’s lucky officer dad and manav didn’t just shoot his stupid ass dead. or get him arrested. 

wait... what? shivaay’s missing??!?!? AGAIN?!?!??! SOMEONE PUT A FUCKING GPS TRACKER ON THIS MAN. 

PLEASE TELL ME THEY BANGED. 

OR WAIT, LET THEM NOT HAVE. I CAN’T DEAL WITH A POSSIBLE ‘PREGNANT WHILE HUBS IS MISSING’ KINDA PLOT. PLEASE. NO PREGNANCY. NO KIDS. JUST PLEASE! 

[toomanyskeletons]

2, 4, 7, 9, 12, 14, 15, 24, 32, 37, 43, B, C, F, I and do it for more than one character if you want to :)

i guess i'll just answer it for levi and taylor? and if the question makes me want to, i'll do another character2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?Taylor: pretty easy. he can be very immature at times and he just finds a lot of things funny.Levi: not really easy but also? he laughs at very small things sometimes.4. How easy is it to earn their trust?Taylor: depends on if youre gay or not tbh. he'll instantly become your best friend if you're any kind of lgbt+. He has a straight friend too tho he's not some HETEROPHOBELevi: considering how many times he [REDACTED] it is Pretty Fucking Hard7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?Taylor: visiting his old school, old clothes, all the old things. he probably enjoys the feeling, unless he has also just remembered one of the worse elements of the past - "ah, yes, my mother misgerndering me, sweet childhood memories"Levi: the gameboy he had when he was a kid, and the games that he played om it. he doesnt remember too much of his childhood though r i p + he probably doesnt enjoy the feeling bc its too close to dissociation for him.9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?Taylor, age 6: "dad! dad!""what is it, kiddo?""fuck!""who the FUCK taught you to say that- oh."he swears all the time bc he thinks it makes him sound more cool + masculineLevi: probably something low-tier like 'crap'. his parents are fairly anti-swearing, and so would have avoided it. someone probably taught him when he started school lmao. he also swears all the time, but bc he got into the habit of it and now he cant stop12. How do they deal with an itch in a place they can't quite reach? Taylor: "that's what forks are for."Levi: asks someone else to do it for him14. What animal do they fear most?Taylor: "clowns."Levi: he fuckin hates ants. little useless, tiny, creepy crawly shits15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse in their mind first?Taylor: almost no verbal filter, but if he has to do something Important and Proper, 400 rehearsals of the lineLevi: practise practise practise practise (but if he's comfortable enough with a person he doesnt have to do that)24. Is sex something they're comfortable speaking about? To whom?Taylor: very comfortable talking about sex in general, sometimes too comfortable and weirds people out. but he is p secretive abt his sex life and only talks about it w his husbandLevi: Fears talking about sex ever32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or joke?Taylor: not really but if there's an awkward silence he'd probably steal a joke from somewhereLevi: "remember that one dream where-"an addition from escher: "yeah that actually happened, unfortunately"37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc.)?Taylor: "nah i dont need those i got this"Taylor, five minutes later: "fuck"Levi: probably would do the melody thing43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?Taylor: whenever he needs to come put he just shows them that "i am gay" vladmir putin videoLevi: shrugs, then replies "all"B) What inspired you to create them?Taylor: in all honesty it was pokemon and then he just - pun unintended - evolved from thereLevi: "huh thats a cool name heres a blank spot in the story yep cool he exists now"C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?considering theyre both the MCs not really bc the whole plot is based around themF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc.)? M Y BOYS MY BEAUTIFUL BOYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCHT HA N K YOU FOR ASKING and sorry it took me a literal 6 months or something to do this

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 25.07.17 lb

plain text version here. 

bhavya just be taking her gal pal along with her on an investigation like it’s a saturday brunch and shopping date. nice. 😊😊😊

hahahahahahaha shivaay using oberoi mansion as an example of a safe place. i honestly cannot stop laughing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

i honestly love ragini’s transitions once someone leaves the room. when the billu is away, the naagini shall play! 😇😇😇

what kinda jankyass 90s winamp looking program is this that the mumbai police is using to track the sim location? 🤔🤔🤔

the calls are coming from inside the house! 😯😯😯

of course. contrived excuse for not being able to hear. lorddddddddddd. 🙄🙄🙄

why the fuck did he have to come all the way outside the house to make the call anyway? itna bada ghar hai, you’re telling me there’s no silent spot anywhere INSIDE where he can make a call? 😒😒😒

SAMAR. FUCKIN WHY, DUDE?!?!?! HONESTLY. YOU SHOULD BE TALKING YOUR SISTER OUT OF HER CRAZY. OR SECRETLY MEDICATING HER BY LACING HER CUCUMBERS WITH ANTI PSYCHOTICS. NOT PULLING A RAHUL FROM DARR. 😫😫😫

lmao ok suddenly samar found a bike helmet outta nowhere. 😐😐😐 

um.... ok? 😕😕😕

THEY WERE DOWNSTAIRS ON THE GROUND LEVEL. HOW THE F ARE THEY RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS NOW? HONESTLY, CHUTIYA SAMAJH RAKHA HAI KYA? 😑😑😑

how the f does samar know the layout of oberoi mansion so well? 🤔🤔🤔

also, they’re fucking upstairs again. you gotta be kidding me. what kinda teleporting chase sequence is this? 😣😣😣

whatttttttttttttttttttttt nonsense, lorddddddddddd. 😤😤😤

also, samar is as rich, if not richer than shivaay. why can’t he just hire someone to do this, instead of doing this dirty work himself?? kuch bhi. 😐😐😐

shivaay seems destined to permanently sport that forehead bruise now. 😗😗😗

great. these two are going to argue over this now. 😐😐😐

yuuuuuuuuuuuhp. 😒😒😒

anika, what happened to not bringing this up with shivaay until you had proof???? looks like that theory just swiftlyyyyyyy went out the window. GOD AND I WAS GETTING HAPPY THAT FOR ONCE, ANIKA IS HANDLING THINGS SMARTLY. 😫😫😫

OUFFO OM, THE BABY DOESN’T HAVE FEVER. 🙄🙄🙄

omki is feeling old chulbul waale jhatke? 😏😏😏

ooooooohhhh i like this instrumental saathiya. 😊😊😊

look at him making moon eyes at her. 😍😍😍

god does om has munchausen by proxy or something??? the child is not ill, omkara! 😑😑😑

great. this is going to be an issue. that she isn’t educated enough to get the english names of drugs and thus isn’t good enough for him. 😣😣😣

god pinkyyyyyyy, why are you bhatkofying like a bhoot behind gauri???? THERE’S ZERO REASON FOR YOU TO EVEN INTERACT WITH HER. 😠😠😠

self loathing. that’s why. gauri reminds pinky of herself when younger. 😬😬😬

like... pinky is actually MEANER to gauri than she was to anika. i really don’t get it. 😕😕😕

... uh? rudra and bhavya share the same bed??????? the fuckkk? FUCKING SHIVIKA DIDN’T SHARE THE BED UNTIL LIKE MONTHS AFTER MARRIAGE. THIS IS SOME REAL HORSE SHIT. 😠😠😠

... as usual, not feeling this romance at all. also i’m mad that they wasted one of my fav songs on these two. why do they keep getting the songs i want for my other two otps??????? 😡😡😡 

ok little bit feels at her taking the picture of them. the least amount. 😳😳😳

aaaaaaand... bhavya’s skull just got cracked like an anda. 😐😐😐

shivaay looks painfully young in this tshirt waala combo. 😙😙😙

faraq faraq faraq. 😇😇😇

oh boy, gauri is still trying to remember the name of the medicine. girl, raat se subah ho gayi. just give up. 😶😶😶

why isn’t she using her internet chaachi for help rn? 🤔🤔🤔

also, omki doesn’t even care about the medicine anymore. 😐😐😐

this pinky is such an expert at finding and exploiting ppl’s innermost insecurities. 😔😔😔

oh ho, this is just painful to watch. like genuinely, and not coz of second hand michmichi. her distress and despair is just so heart wrenching. 😭😭😭

man, i just loveeeeeeeeeeeeee rudra + baby together. they’re the bestttttttt. leenesh manages to create such good chemistry with every single cast member, it’s amazing! 😚😚😚

NO DO NOT LEAVE THE BABY ALONE. DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😟😟😟

oh ho, these two arguments are happening 3 feet away from each other. 😑😑😑

why are you ppl shutting up rudra when he’s asking about a genuine issue that’s more impt than any of your petty nonsense? 😒😒😒

why is she surprised to see blood from her own wound? 😒😒😒

wow, whoever took bhavya just left her there, in an unsecured car, in the oberoi parking lot. with her phone. worst kidnappers ever. 🙄🙄🙄

as usual, the oberoi security have been bested by a team of fat 40 year old unclejis. 😑😑😑

why is everyone sooooo surprised at power failure? as if the lights don’t go out here on a regular basis. 🙄🙄🙄

haaaaaaaan, leave the front door WIIIIIIIIIDE OPEN. not like that’s a security risk or anything. 😌😌😌

these oberois are just begging to be murdered in their beds at this point. 🙄🙄🙄

“gala phaad ke cheekne chillane ki zaroorat nahi.” 

general life advice to shivaay. applicable in every situation. stop being so fucking shouty. 😒😒😒

meanwhile bhavya made it all the way upstairs. FUCKING HOW!?!?!?!??! 😣😣😣

LMFAO, HAS A GUN POINTED TO HIS FUCKING HEAD, STILL HAS ZERO IMPACT ON SHIVAAY’S TADI AND DIALOGUEBAAZI. 😂😂😂

HAHAHAHAHA OM’S EYE ROLLING AT SHIVAAY’S TADI LIKE “THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING TO GET US KILLED.” 🤣🤣🤣

omg acp anda is the fucking worst at her job. at this point, even ranveer, who doesn’t actually do any policing is better - at least he doesn’t make things WORSE. 😒😒😒

hahahahahaha anikaaaaaaa “bhaisaab ek minute, ek minute haan...” *pushing the guns away dismissively* “AAP DO MINUTE CHUP NAHI REH SAKTE?” 

lmaoooooo bulbul also joining innnnnnnn. 

hahahahah OmRu 😂😂😂😂

"tamancho par aapki tadi nahi chalegi... main baat kar rahi hoon... EK MINUTE!!! MAIN BAAT KAR RAHI HOON!!!!!” 

the wayyyyyy anika keeps slapping the guns away so cavalierly is hilariousssss. 🤣🤣🤣

GOD THESE TWO IDIOTS. 😫😫😫

evennnnnn the kidnappers are sick of these two and their bs. 😑😑😑

the baby looks happier than ever, finally being left alone and in peace for the first time in 4 days. 👶🏽👶🏽👶🏽

shivaay’s aankhon waale ishaare are not understood by either of his idiot brothers. 🙄🙄🙄

you aintttttttttttttt slick omki. idiot. 😒😒😒

lol anika back on her BS. 😆😆😆

the kidnapper is this 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽 close to fucking shooting them to get them to stfu. 

“kaun hai yaar yeh dono, itna kyun jhagadte hai???”

it’s sexual tension, my dear man. they’re very horny for each other and aren’t able to do the do. and it’s manifesting like this. has been, for over a year. we’re more sick of it than you are. 😔😔😔

shivaay: we’re divorced!!!!!  gunda: yeh toh hona hi tha. 😒😒😒

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVEN THE HOSTAGE TAKER HAS AN OPINION ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP 🤣🤣🤣

... gauri has to be anika’s sister. this kinda crazy runs in families, no? 😗😗😗

are they looking for the locket or the baby? 🤔🤔🤔

snorttttt, shivaay/gauri against omki and om/anika against shivaay. besttttttt. 😊😊😊

hahahaha, OM/SHIVAAY AGAINST ANIKA. 😂😂😂

EVERYYYYYYYYYYYYONE AGAINST RUDRA! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 

actually, om is the best solution. he’s so calminggggg. i’d listen to him if i was a gunda. such a sweet boy. so obliging. 😚😚😚

BAD MOVE, GUNDA! BAD MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡 *pushes shivaay/rudra aside to kick gunda’s ass myself* 

lol the girls in the bg. 😆😆😆

why are the other gundas just standing around watching their boss being beat up??? 😐😐😐

aaaaaaaaaaaaand there. shivaay just got cracked like the second anda to be put in this oberoi omelette. 😑😑😑

OUFF SHIVAAY CAN YOU DROP THE TADI FOR 3 SECONDS PLEASE?!!?!? YAAR, THIS IS WHY I WAS LIKE THE OLD DEPRESSED AND MILD SHIVAAY WAS BEST. BUT YOU ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO BRING ANIKA BACK AND RESTORE HIS TADI. YOU WOULDN’T BE IN THIS SITUATION RN IF HE WASN’T SO DAMN MOUTHY. 😒😒😒

greaaaaaat. anika ki andar ki biwi # 1 jaaag gayi hai. power of the mangalsutra and sindoor and all that jazz. though she’s wearing neither. just be know, ~~spiritually~~, she’s alwaysssss wearing it. 🙄🙄🙄

even the kidnapper is like “bitch, didn’t you get divorced? DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR FUCKSSAKE.” 

which we’ve been yelling for over a month now. someone tell us the status of that damn divorce. 😫😫😫

“ayeeeeeeeee meri bhaabi ko kuch mat karna, goli maarni hai toh mujhe maar!”

OH MY HEART, RUDRA!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO SO SO MUCH. HONESTLY, I DON’T THINK ANYONE IN THE UNIVERSE CAN LOVE ANIKA AS UNCONDITIONALLY AS RUDRA DOES. *crying forever* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

poooooori ki pooooooooooori family pagal hai, by god. 🙄🙄🙄

of course, shivaay has to overshadow EVERYONE. ugh. alpha male bs. 😑😑😑

anika toh matlab, tuli hui hai goli khaane mein. 😒😒😒

rudra: bhaisaab, mere dono bhai shaadishuda hai. mare hue ko kya maarna? main single hoon, mujhe maaro! 

idiotttttttttttttttttttttt. 🙄🙄🙄

great. sab kar rahe hai toh acp anda peeche kyun rahe. usse bhi chahiye chance to show akad and tadi. 😒😒😒

.... where are all the older oberois? 🤔🤔🤔

didn’t jhanvi return from her joyride with svetlana till now? it’s the next day! tell me they’re holed up somewhere, making a plan on how to ruin tej beyond repair. 😈😈😈

oh finally, they want the baby. 😗😗😗

itneee bade ghar mein it’s gonna take an eternity and half to find the baby. 😐😐😐

you ppl picked the one thing they’re all united on; they’re not gonna give up the baby. 😌😌😌

apparently the gunshot sound doesn’t scare baby at all. she’s still happy as a clam. 😊😊😊

MY GOD THIS ANDA AND HER LEHARAATI HUI ZULFEIN. HOW DOES SHE EVEN SEE WHAT SHE’S DOING???? 😧😧😧

“bohut maarti hai teri waali” 

pffffffffffffft. 😑😑😑😑

lol anika and gauri also getting inspired. YAAAAAAAAAS GIRLS, GO TO TOWN ON THEM. TAKE OUT ALL YOUR ANGER AT MEN ON THESE FUCKERS. 🙃🙃��

WHY IS NO ONE THROWING THEMSELVES IN FRONT OF THE GUN FOR RUDRA???? MY POOR BOY! 😖😖😖

oh finally sr. oberois are back. from where ever they were, and like GOD WE CAN’T LEAVE THESE FUCKEN KIDS ALONE FOR 10 MINUTES BEFORE THEY MANAGE TO GET THEMSELVES INTO LIFE THREATENING DANGER. 😩😩😩😩😩😩

pffffffffffft. apparently we’re not playing the faraq games anymore tomorrow. we’re playing happy family. 😌😌😌

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 26.04.17 lb

hey kids, now would be a real good moment to kiss. 😚😚😚

… i don’t even have anything snarky or sidey to say re: this scene, coz i’m just crying too hard. my babies. my babies love each other so much. i’m so happy for them. oh god why can’t i stop crying? 😭😭😭😭😭

you know when you watch a karan johar movie, and there’s that surprise appearance of a big star who’s not really a part of the movie (like rani and kajol showed up in khnh, and kajol and john abraham in kank, and srk in adhm)?? i always get a similar little jolt of surprise when i see omkara in this show now. like OMGGG YOUUU! WHAT ARE YOUUUUU DOING HERE!?!?! HIIIIIII! I LOVE YOU!!!! STAY LONGER PLZ! 😍😍😍

is it next morning? is shivaay making pizza first thing in the morning??? 🤔🤔🤔

god, this man just keeps leveling the fuck up every damn episode without giving me a chance to catch my breath! 😍😍😍

lmao, good to see rudra back in his narcissistic form. 😂😂😂

of course he thinks a bhaiyya who isn’t catering to his every whim is duplicate shivaay. 😆😆😆

lolololol shivaay and om are 1000% done with him. 😂😂😂

haaaaaaye i’ve missed this “shut up, rudra!” soooo much!! 😅😅😅

abbe oh eid ka chand, tu dikhaayi de toh tujhse baat karega woh. 😒😒😒

oh god, is he going to start investigating her background??? 😬😬😬

and lord, i just know she’s going to overhear. 😔😔😔

called it! 😐😐😐

anika, babe, i love you and all, but really; should you get THIS sanctimonious when YOU’RE digging rightttttt into his DNA, that too without his consent????? 🙄🙄🙄

lmaoooooooooooooo om’s face. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

ugh. couples. always making it fucking awkward for everyone else. 🙄🙄🙄

why does he keep calling her “ANIK”? last waala AA kyun khaaye jaa raha hai? 🤔🤔🤔

lol fuck your stupid threat, shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

i never understand how people just storm out like that. i’d fully embarrass myself by coming back for my phone and wallet. coz where the fuck am i even going to go without those? 😕😕😕

not a good day for you, shivaay. notttttt a good day. 😬😬😬

ouff oh pinky. can you give up already? nahi chalne waala tumhara yeh pentra. he’s not going to leave her for this reason. try something else. 😑😑😑

lol matlab sahil ne toh full palti maar li hai. #teamShivaay 😂😂😂

lmao shivaay can’t relate with #poorPplProblems like “balance khatam ho gaya” 😆😆😆

bitch pls you know you’re gonna call her. awaiiiii ki tadi. 🙄🙄🙄

hahahaha “tere liye kar raha hoon, warna baad mein bolega ki SSO waali tadi dikha raha tha.” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

“relaaaaax, DUDE!” omggggggggggg hahahaha 😂😂😂😂

“BATAO!!!!!!! 😠😠😠” 

2 seconds later: “maaf karde, mere baap! 😟😟😟”

fuck the Obros, these two are my (br)otp ok???? 💖💖💖

ab yeh chanda kaun hai? 🤔🤔🤔

oh wait, night duty waali chanda? whose house anika was at during the gayatri murder???? 😧😧😧

lol same maahi waala chawl. 🙃🙃🙃

chawl ppl be like “saaaalaaa… gaadi honda ki, tadi audi waali. 🙄🙄🙄”

poor chanda is all of us. caught in between these two assholes. 😐😐😐

hey shivaay, you’re meeting one of your wife’s friends for the first time, how about you be nicer to her??? smile, maybe? say it’s nice to meet her? 😒😒😒

khaandaani, my ass. 🙄🙄🙄

lololol yeh lo. got the door slammed in his face. woh bhi a chawl waali door, not a “khaandaani” door. a lottttt of firsts for shivaay, in the past few hours. 😊😊😊

also, how does anika have one of her own outfits to wear at chanda’s? 🤔🤔🤔

hey chanda, has no one taught you the girl code? 😑😑😑

oh boy. tadi singh oberoi is putting on his sunglasses. 😬😬😬

god, he’s such a public nuisance. 😒😒😒

lollll, his “victory!” smileeeeee. besttttttt. i love this asshole. 😂😂😂

snort. you were kinda asking for it. 🌊🌊🌊

also, you had to know it was coming. itna saj daj ke taiyyar hokar kyun aaya? 🙄🙄🙄

pffffffffft, achi khaasi beizzati karwaali, chawl waalon ke saamne. 🙁🙁🙁

“WELCOME RITUAL” lol, you fucking idiot. you’re asking for another glass to the face. 😂😂😂

last time he invoked his ‘SSO mode’ he carried her sexy naagin dancing ass off the dining table and into their bedroom. what will he do THIS time??? 🙃🙃🙃

what highlighter is chanda wearing? it looks fucking amazing. 😍😍😍

ok, overreaction much? 🙄🙄🙄

WHAT EYELINER DOES SHE WEAR, BRO???? HOW DOES IT STAND UP TO MUMBAI’S HUMIDITY AND BEING SPLASHED IN THE FACE??? I’VE BEEN ASKING THIS SINCE SEPTEMBER, SOMEONE GIMME A FUCKING BRAND. 😩😩😩

also, how did he get into the fucking house? 🤔🤔🤔

don’t break the glass. don’t. FUCKIN’ DON’T. 😠😠😠

lmaoooooo, chanda is allllllll of us. 😂😂😂

also, she’s surprisingly ok with having her glasses broken and a mess being made in her house???? if it was me, i’d be like ABBE OH, SHIVAAY SINGH OBEROI HOGA TU APNE GHAR MEIN, YEH JO GANDH MACHA RAKHAA HAI, SAAF KARKE JAA. 😤😤😤

haaaaaaaaaa, knew it! 😆😆😆

oh suddenly chawl waale are veryyy super interested in anika’s consent and well-being. where were these fuckers when goons were assaulting her in front of everyone? 😒😒😒

aaaaaaaaaaaand no one gives a fuck anymore. coz “biwi hai meri” is desi subtext for “my property to abuse and violate” 😑😑😑

girl, stop calling out to chanda. we’ve established that she’s fucking useless in this situation. maybe pick a different friend to run away to, the next time. 🙄🙄🙄

WHAT DOES “PATI HAI TOH PHIR KAISE ROKENGE?” MEAN???? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH DESI PPL?!?!?! JESUS CHRIST, HONESTLY. 😡😡😡

his smugass fucking face when auntyji ruled in his favour! 😆😆😆

anika is at least 43% turned on by his caveman routine. 😗😗😗

for a change, i’m on #teamShivaay. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

leave your team in the replies!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀😀😀

idk girl, you’re pretty bewakoof at times. like… listen to him. 😐😐😐

oh fuck. 

oh my heart. fuck, i’m actually crying like a bitch baby rn. I THINK THIS IS THE MOST I’VE EVER CRIED FOR THIS FUCKING SHOW. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i’m not even looking at anika, i’m just looking at his face reacting to what she’s saying. 😭😭😭

so much sadness and rage. at everything she’s faced. at himself, for not being able to protect her from all that. at himself for doing this to her (this time was a genuine mistake. but what about all the times in the past when he did it on purpose?) 😞😞😞

this girl, man, this girl. she’s the most amazing tellywood heroine ever. i have never loved a female character like this my whole life. 💖💖💖

“main sab se lad sakti hoon; poori duniya se, apne aap se, bhagwan se. lekin main aap se nahi lad sakti.” 

lo. shuru ho gaya iska investigation. 🙄🙄🙄 aur udhar in return, anika is going to bring home a whole new brother for him. 🙈🙈🙈

kya sahi couple hai. why can’t you people just give each other watches or some shit, y’know LIKE NORMAL PPL? 😒😒😒

i think this is my favt episode of the show so far, what about y'all???? 

[tellywoodtrash]

dil boley oberoi: week 1 lb

the lb for the 13.02.17 can be found here.

ok, let’s do this! (said with at best, mid-level enthusiasm and mostly a sense of obligation to omkara... sigh. the things i do for love.)

14.02.17 

gotta say, as much as i hate it, i kinda miss the IB starting minute preview thing. it mentally prepares me for what’s coming up. 

gauri talks too fast. 

i want to rip that vest off omkara and fucking burn it. 

ok not a huge fan of gauri’s extremely dheelam-dhaale kapde. 

and the dupatta doesn’t go with the rest of the outfit????

the couple that hair flips together, stays together. 

also, the couple with super obvious wigs apparently stays together. 

since when is om such a jerk? 

ouff. tadi waala walk. 

oh boy. pehla ATMA-SAMMAAAAN waala dialogue from heroine. 

“ladki”??? as if you’re a 100 years old??

also, what’s your problem, om? you need the place empty by evening, and she said she’ll leave in 2 hrs. 

ouff zidd and vishwas and tadi and ughhhhhhh. 

OMG ASSHOLE. OM!!!!!!!!! I DID NOT RAISE YOU LIKE THIS! 

WHYYYY COULDN’T YOU JUST HAND HER THE MONEY LIKE A DECENT HUMAN BEING, OM????????? 

um... ok? what did she just yell at him? i don’t get half the things she says. 

pakka anika ki behen hai. dem muck throwing genes be strong. 

dude, he’s worse than shivaay? which is... an impressive feat. 

lmao, she’s watching a video on her phone on how to operate the bulldozer. 

the video said “escalator” for accelerator. 

why are these girls so damn extraaaaaaaaaaa when it comes to the oberoi boys’ cars? ek ne windshield toda, toh dusre ne bulldozer hi chala diya. 

that does look quite therapeutic for rage issues actually. i wonder if there are places that rent out bulldozers for such reasons. i could use it. 

damn. she’s kinda annoying, but i liiiiiike her. 

RUDRA! <3

ok if her mom is just walking around all fine now, she obviously wasn’t in life threatening danger. 

ok, i’m already loving the gauri/rudra dynamic. 

“bhaaji laane ke liye naukar hai mere ghar mein.” lmao

lmaoooo “AUNTY KA KHAYAAL RAKHNA”, as if he knows who she is. 

what’s happening to shivaay’s accent? 

please, shivaay’s name would never be saved as “bhai” in om’s phone. 

“anika kam thi, jo ek aur hindi ki dictionary aa gayi mere paas?” 

*snort* 

lol shivaay also got suckered into the namaste. 

“pyaari nahi, bohut SAARI baatein karti hai.” hee hee 

fwding her chulbul pandey theatrics coz nope. 

where the fuck did om just buy a new smart phone from this randomass bareilly bazaar? 

tadi waala sunglass removal. 

oh look, she has ishaana-style bangles, with the hanging thingys. 

haven’t seen a height difference like this since ek duje ke vaaste. didn’t think kunal was that tall. is shrenu just exceptionally tiny?

om’s dubbing is super bad, dude. 

jesus, what the fuck even is going on in the precap?

15.02.17

how does gauri even know shivaay’s name? anika/rudra didn’t mention it, did they? and the phone just said BHAI when he called. 

lmaooooo om’s exasperation. 

“yeh ladki hai ya aafat?!”

pft, tere bhai ne bhi yehi sab kaha tha. now look at him feeling up his wife at any given chance. tera bhi yehi haal hona hai. 

omg this fucking chachi

JESUS CHRIST WTF 

ok, i didn’t think i’d hate anyone more than bandari bua, but this chachi and her... whoever this guy is have rapidly risen to position #1.

... what’s wrong with the mom? 

why’s omkara just sitting outdoors, outside a BUS? it’s not even an RV. does bareilly not have hotels? 

i honestly don’t get half the things gauri says in her accent. 

why the fuck did you wait this long, you idiot girl? 

ouff 5 minutes wasted on zooming into these people’s faces. 

er, that bangle be tacky af. 

god. watching this is making me feel ickyyyyyyyyyyyy. 

also what a waste of rahul dev, who’s actually a pretty good actor. 

um, what the fuck?????????????????

jesus christ what kinda backward “na aana is des laado” bullshit is this show. for fucks sake omkara, how much must you exploit my love for you?????

CHARACTERLESS GIRL??????? om, i am fucking this close to disowning you. you heard her fucking screaming. did you leave your brain behind in mumbai or??? 

ugh i don’t wanna watch this crapppppppp. i was just here for funnnn hijinks from omRu. 

SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY OMKARA IS OUTSIDE LIKE A FUCKING HOMELESS PERSON

ok, dramatic scenes are not kunal’s strong suit. 

also everytime he runs, i remember that insta video of his wig flying off and i need 10 minutes to stop laughing. 

um, where was all this “there’s always a solution” optimism when you were going through issues yourself, omkara? then you were perfectly happy to try and commit suicide and put your family through hell every other day. smh. 

ok, that’s the second jhanvi who’s just up and set flames to herself in a week. not a good week for jhanvis. 

how is she still okay enough to talk after burning for a whole minute??? 

are there are no such things as ambulances in bareilly? 

oh hai original!Jhanvi. have you moved to this show too? i miss pinky and your bonding. 

apparently in the ib universe, fire doesn’t cause scarring to anyone.  

um maybe coz you set yourself on fire in front of your kids, jhanvi? do you think that ppl stay emotionally sound after seeing shit like that???? 

oh shut up om. you’re an idiot of the first order. fuck off. 

16.02.17

hubba hubba. om in all black. be still my beating heart. 

you fuckin’ stop that, heart. we don’t like him in this show. 

oh i like gauri’s shaadi outfit. a little too gaudy, but i like the colours.

lo, svetlana di has also defected to this show. 

ugh ommmmmmmm. you’re a fucking idiot. 

use your WORDS, gauri. 

RUSTLE OR JANGLE THAT SHIT GIRL. 

IF SHE CAN MAAROFY THESE BADE BADE DIALOGUES, WHY CAN’T SHE JUST SHOW HIM THE CHAINS NOW????? THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKING STUPID I CAN’T EVEN

OK A MAN IS GIVING AN AURAT LECTURES ON BEING AN AURAT, FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT GARBAGE OM. 

lo, yeh bhi shaayari marta hai. gauri ki toh kismat hi phooti hai, chaahe shaadi villain se kare ya hero se. 

lmao gauri, DOES IT LOOK LIKE HE CARES?????? HE KIDNAPPED YOU. DOES HE SEEM LIKE A BIG SUPPORTER OF CONSENT????

what is it about kali that makes any woman who’s around him want to kill herself? 

what the fuckkkkkkkkkk is wrong with this chacha chachi? they’re straight out of the fucking purge, murdering ppl for shits and giggles. 

“hum theek hai”, the maa says, as she stands submerged in the drum she was being drowned in like 3 seconds ago. typical desi mom, downplaying her issues. 

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. SO MUCH MICHMICHI AND RAPEYYYYYYY

use your giant fucking skirt to hide it girl 

oh fuck off with your judgey eyes, om. 

yes please fuck back off to mumbai, where you’re less of a prick. 

AT LEAST LOCK THE DOOR YOU STUPID GIRL 

which chirota is she calling???? 

the chirota better not fucking call back right now. 

he’s going to, isn’t he? 

UGH. 

WHY IS THE ANDROID PHONE RINGING WITH THE IPHONE RINGTONE? 

om, why such snoopy? just get your papers and fucking go. 

of course. i hate such contrived bullshit. 

i swear i want to slappppppppppp om every time he makes that sada hua judgey shakal 

thakur’s coats are made of whatever bacha-kucha material there is after making the inner lining of shivaay’s suit coats. 

anniversary? 

EW. SUCH FUCKING RAPEY BULLSHIT. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP, I CAN’TTTTTT. 

“jawaani ka mol” jesus above. 

17.02.17

om has no fucking right to make such faces, being the judgey misogynist that he is. 

what the fuck is that tiny child even supposed to do? 

i am this close to clocking omkara in the face and pulling his oh-so-prized hair. 

that sona looks so fucking fake. some effort into props please. 

wow, rapey comments + weight shaming. nice crowd. 

I... UGH. THIS SHOW, MAN. WATCHING IS LITERALLY PAINFUL. 

just say you have a fucking itch on your leg girl. 

pft, as if thakur would let her dance to such a depressing song on his wedding. 

also fwding. because i honestly cannot. 

lmao, om’s face and shoulder jostles at her dancing on him. 

and wow, the thakur’s totally ok with her doing that. 

and there goes the phone. 

pfffffffffft. so over these trip falls. 

OM. COULD YOU STOP WITH THE ASSUMPTIONS. HONESTLY. 

gauri, why do you even care what he thinks about you? he’s gonna be gone tomorrow. 

OM. YOU AND YOUR TRUTH SERUM FUELED PERSONALITY. 

EW THAKUR GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER. 

AND OM, CAN’T YOU SEE YOU SEE HOW SHE’S REACTING? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?????????

GOD THIS EPISODE IS SO FUCKING LONG WHY WON’T IT GET OVER

he keeps saying shaadi aaj hai, shaadi aaj hai; when is this fucking shaadi already???

GOD I CAN’T STAND THIS FUCKING CHACHI, I’M FWDING. 

is this the same mandap they used for shivaay and tia’s firrrrrrrrst wedding attempt? the day anika bust in with the poster waala reveal? 

and she’s back in this outfit? 

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M WATCHING THIS FUCKING RAPEY SHIT I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH 

that one brother’s moochi looks so fucking fake. 

GOD. WHY WON’T THIS EPISODE ENDDDDDDDDDDDD

FWDING. COZ I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. 

UM EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK KINDA POLYGAMY BULLLLLLLLLSHIT

I’M SORRY BUT I JUST CANNOT WATCH THIS SHOW. I CAN’T. I TRIED BUT I CAN’T. IT’S LITERALLY TOO PAINFUL TO WATCH. 

i’ll keep up with written updates and try and come back to it when it’s not such a fucking shitshow, but i really cannot watch this show as it is right now. 

fuck you om. i don’t love you thaaaat much also.