#whenever someone says like ''you can't be a non-binary lesbian!!'' or something it's like they're forgetting that gender is different for

[very-uncorrect]

People hate on it all the time but in all honesty "he/him lesbian" fucks so hard /pos

[starfishinthedistance]

God whenever non-lesbians give shit to nonbinary lesbians with complex or 'too masculine' (read: 'not woman lite™') genders and they say "grrrr that gender can't be lesbian grrrr" it's like bro...you don't Get it.

Whoever first said "lesbianism is as much of a gender identity as it is a sexuality" or whatever it was was so right. Being lesbian gives you such a unique experience societally, being so sexualized and so demonized at the same time, being excluded and invisible from many queer discussions, the contempt from both men and women...it absolutely affects your gender. Something something the gender binary inherently being heteronormative, something something its idea of womanhood is entirely based around men and breaking that is inherently gender noncomformity...

Even lesbians who otherwise identify as cis women feel like a different gender than straight girls at some level, but this stuff gets especially more intense for trans and non-binary lesbians because then societal transphobia and shit gets added to the mix.

So yeah, sometimes lesbians will dress masc. Sometimes they'll use he/him pronouns and masc terms. Sometimes they'll be bigender or pangender or genderfluid or demigender. Sometimes they might call themselves trans masc or transexual. Sometimes they'll refer to themselves as guys or men while still being absolutely non-binary and absolutely lesbian (fyi if you're fine with non-binary people referring to themselves as guys and can understand that they're still non-binary and not men, but aren't if that non-binary person is lesbian, you're a piece of shit <3 )

To say that a fundamental part of the lesbian experience somehow makes someone less of a lesbian or not one at all proves you know nothing about us. Lesbianism has been this way since before you were born, it's not gonna change for your bullshit exclusionism.

[decadentparadisekitty]

An attempt to organize my thoughts

I'm someone who likes to think for herself, I don't particularly like just taking something as fact without thinking it through first. This, is an attempt to get my thoughts in order because lord knows they're complex, and not very well organized. Which is code for : I have no clue what to think.

A couple issues come to mind but they're mostly centered on misogyny and my sense of self. I'll talk about them in that order.

I ask myself, often, how do I define misogyny? I define it as the hatred of women, but what is that based on? Like really, if it's not female biology, then the hell do we deal with it for? It's undeniable that trans women face...something. And it resembles misogyny. But can I even call it that? I had believed it rooted in a belief that female bodied people must be housewives because of our capacity to give birth and our lesser physical strength, but like that simply does not apply to trans women. I just can't define misogyny if I say trans women are women. But it undeniably exists. So I have no clue what that's about. I've asked numerous times to many trans people what is a woman, and they've either told me "it's femininity" or "idk lol". It is beyond infuriating.

maybe im being transphobic or whatever but nowadays i just get...peeved at trans women doing "euphoria boosting" activities and then being forced to watch. Like idk, seeing trans girls go try on dresses and doing their make up and shaving and then being like "this rlly validates my female identity" it just...i won't lie it feels like a performance. It feels like a boy's view of a girl. And I cannot deny that these feelings may make me biased but like also...why do trans women rely so heavily on femininity to validate their identity as women? It's like sure I see positivity for butch trans lesbians sometimes but like the overwhelming majority of trans women are feminine.

It's worse with trans men for me. As someone who dresses masculinely, doesn't shave, etc., seeing that validate a trans boy's identity just...it makes me wonder if we're going back to the 1950s but this time if you want out of the stupid fucking binary you get to pick a label. Also being called "they/them" while watching feminine female friends get called "she/her" is like...so weirdly infuriating. I couldn't care less abt he/him, cause that seems like a genuine mistake. But whenever I get called "they/them" i know they're doing it on purpose, and I know why. It's cause I don't conform to gender norms.

The funniest part abt that is that my feminine female friend im usually with when this happens is non binary LOL

Also wtf is it with some trans women and pressuring lesbians to sleep with you...besties some of you need to get your validation outside of the bedroom <3

I also feel so fucking...planned. Like genuinely im trying and failing to find an explanation for why I do what i do and finding no answers that don't involve free will being a fake jerk. Like idk why i want anything, and I will only do what I want. I can't control what I want, therefore I can't control what I do. Maybe im just weird for worrying about this but knowing my wants will always be colored by my environment, which while not that traumatic, definitely had its moments, and it's like...

I just will never escape those scars. And dammit it hurts.

maybe posting this on the internet is a bad idea but wtvr...