#whenever he wears my 'your anxiety is lying to you' hoodie out in public?????????
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men, i get it now because seeing my s/o in my clothes does something to me too-
#ooc.#whenever he wears my 'your anxiety is lying to you' hoodie out in public?????????#idk JUST DOES SMTH TO ME.#MAKES ME ALL HEARTEYES.#also i jsut love my taste of style so that doesnt help so i know what looks good on me is gonna look even better on him.#HKSBNGJBDKSBFSHBFSHJBHDJFS#bc apparently i dress like my type-
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Hola! I saw your post and I wanted to request a romantic matchup! I would very much prefer a male U-A student (if you can make that possible).
Ok so I am a female, and I am 5’9 (ik I’m that one tall kid lol). I have long brown hair/curls (like very curly). I would like to call myself an ambivert because one minute I can be chill and just relaxing my bed, and the next minute I could be bouncing of walls. I am a Scorpio (and some how a mix of Libra). I am Demisexual but I do prefer males/he/him. I have brown eyes that are usually dark, but kinda light up in the sun. I’m a minor teenager! I wouldn’t say I’m big, but I’m definitely not skinny either, so probably more on the curvy side. I have skinny legs, and skinny arms but wider thighs (and dare I say it, stomach rolls).
My dress style is kinda weird. Like one day I could wear all black, and the next I could be in a mix match mood. However I do prefer the dark/light academia aesthetic.
Ok my personality is a lot of things, I can be very sweet at most times but I have probably one of the shortest tempers in the world. Whenever somebody gives me attitude, I tend to reflect their attitude and give them the same one back. I try to avoid lying as much as possible, but I am very sarcastic. In school I am mostly known for my sweet and sassy character (mostly for laughs lol). I am socially awkward, and I (unfortunately) do have anxiety that puts me into bad moods sometimes. If there is a friend group, believe it or not; I’m the mother of the group. Sometimes I can be a control freak, but I tend to realize days later. I do like being the sender of attention (in the good way).
I have an obsession to listening to music. At random timss of the day, I will pop on my Bluetooth earphones and begin dancing. I like pop music (preferably Ariana Grande), Rnb music, and music in my saved TikTok sounds.
If I know somebody very well I get very comfy around them. Idc how preppy my clothes are out in public, at home I like to slip into an oversized shirt/hoodie, some comfortable pj shorts, and some high top socks.
My favorite season is Summer cause I for some reason love to be in the pool.
If I’m mad, I promise you if you give me some food (preferably Italian) I’ll forget our entire fight. I am also a huge chocolate lover.
I constantly search and wonder everyday how I will be able to achieve my dream job of becoming an actress. It’s absolutely my dream career, and I really hope to pursue it.
I cuddle with my pillow at night, because the thought of having someone next to you, comforting and holding you is my dream :(
When I’m bored I scroll through TikTok, instead of really making them.
I’m always flipping or dancing if you ever see me. I’ve been dancing since I was very little, and I got into gymnastics a couple years ago (unfortunately I had to quit cause of covid)
I’m not much a fearful person as I get older, the only thing that really scares me is death. I can watch horror movies like Chucky (cause he’s LOWKEY kinda funny), but Lord knows that you should never show me Annabelle. If you show me something scary, at night I will be clinging onto you shaking and begging you to turn some kind of light on.
Although I can tend to be lazy sometimes, I’m actually a very active person.
I sing, dance, act (you know the whole performance arts package).
I find humor, and kindness the most attractive thing in a person. I also kinda like people that can be sweet or fiery (you know getchu comebody who can do both).
I’m sorry for so much reading, this is my first time doing this. I hope this dosen’t make you struggle, so take your time! Luv you <3
charlottes interlude 💗- hi!! so i’m probably going to begin repeating characters if i feel it’s the best match!! but all the headcanons will be personalized and different so don’t worry, nothing really changed!! sorry for the delay loves, i’ve had class for 9 hours today (im still in class rn oops🧍🏼♀️)! i hope you enjoy, have a great one!! you seem so fun!
warnings; swearing, anxiety mention
i match you with…
Hitoshi Shinsou!!
- this for you both!! ^^
- absolutely loves everything about you!! you’re the most stunning person he’s ever seen and he’s not afraid to make sure others know that
- so expect a hand always around your waist
- he loves being surprised by your style each day! it’s become a game for him to message you his guess for ur aesthetic every morning!!
- crashing in comfy outfits in his dorm with him just holding you while ur playlist blasts on your speakers 💗 its so ethereal
- he loves how sweet you can be but also finds your attitude super cute!! he’s a pretty mellow guy but can also match the snarky, sarcastic energy you give him, leading to a lot of playful banter
“Can’t wait to absolutely decimate you for all you’re worth in Mario Kart later Toshi 🤪”
“Ohhh tsk tsk, in your dreams sweetheart, that mushroom cup has always belonged to me”
- he’s honestly such a sweet guy but ur humor aligns so well it’s so CHAOTIC
- always makes sure to help you any way you need if you feel anxious, even if it’s just through cuddles!! he loves your caring nature but he also loves to spoil you and give u a lot of attention!!
- he cannot dance. he loves watching you dance though!! he’s so amazed by what you can do!! he’ll try if you ask him, he wants to sweep you off your feet 💗 doesn’t mean he’ll be good though 💀
- have y’all slept with all the lights on after a horror movie binge?? absolutely 💀 worth it though
- loves to watch you preform!! you just light up UGH you’re his star GOODBYE
#bnha x reader#bnha fanfiction#boku no hero academia#mha fanfic#bnha hcs#bnha x self insert#mha x reader#bnha matchups#mha headcanons#mha matchup#mha matchups#bnha matchup#mha hcs#bnha headcanons#bnha shinso hitoshi#hitoshi shinsou
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Podcast: Host Has a Panic Attack Live While Recording
Panic attacks have a way of popping up at the most inconvenient times – like when you are recording a podcast. In this episode, Gabe has a panic attack in front of the microphone and decides that the silver lining is showing listeners that even someone in recovery has symptoms.
Listen in to this episode to learn about panic attacks and see if Gabe makes it out okay. (Spoiler alert: He’s fine.)
SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW
“We call ourselves recovered, but these symptoms don’t entirely go away.” – Michelle Hammer
Highlights From ‘Panic Attack Live’ Episode
[2:30] Gabe is having a panic attack and we recorded it.
[4:00] What caused this panic attack?
[7:40] Gabe’s history of panic attacks.
[11:00] Why does Gabe know so much about his own illness?
[12:50] Michelle’s presence and this show make Gabe stressed out.
[18:00] Is public opinion a stressor?
[25:00] Symptoms don’t entirely go away, even with meds.
Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Host Has a Panic Attack Live While Recording’ Show
Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Narrator: [00:00:09] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here your hosts Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.
Michelle: [00:00:19] Welcome to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. I’m Michelle. I have schizophrenia.
Gabe: [00:00:25] My name is Gabe. I have bipolar disorder.
Michelle: [00:00:27] And today we are talking about panic attacks. Gabe, what happened recently?
Gabe: [00:00:35] So I’m going to pull back the curtain a little bit and explain how we’re recording the show.
Gabe: [00:00:40] For most of our shows, Michelle gets in an airplane and flies to my house, like that’s how dedicated we are to making good quality shows.
Michelle: [00:00:49] The plane actually lands in his front yard.
Gabe: [00:00:52] It’s really awesome. I have a giant front yard with an airstrip.
Michelle: [00:00:56] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:00:58] And we get up in them or we plan the shows, we record the shows, we go get Diet Coke. We strangely end up at Sam’s Club a lot, but we record like a lot of shows all at once.
Gabe: [00:01:10] Like this is a big three/four day production to record these shows and we do it a lot.
Michelle: [00:01:17] On this particular day, me and Gabe are watching People’s Court and he starts having a panic attack. Maybe it was The People’s Court and Gabe goes, I’m having a panic attack. Let’s go record.
Gabe: [00:01:33] Yeah. Then that’s exactly what happened. So what you’re about to hear is a very edited version. You know the actual recording was about 45 minutes, maybe closer to an hour of Gabe having a panic attack and Michelle trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. But we edited it down to about 10 minutes of decent quality audio. It’s a little bit messed up. Some of the cuts aren’t what you would necessarily expect, but we wanted to get the good parts and we didn’t. Nobody wants to hear all of it.
Michelle: [00:02:03] Gabe started yelling at me.
Gabe: [00:02:06] That was fun. That was fun. So you’re going to listen to that for the next 10 minutes and then Michelle and I will be back to explain what happened. Here we go.
Narrator: [00:02:17] Here are your hosts Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.
Michelle: [00:02:20] Welcome to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. I’m Michelle. I’m schizophrenic.
Gabe: [00:02:25] I’m Gabe. I’m bipolar and having a panic attack.
Michelle: [00:02:28] Yes, you heard it everybody. Gabe is having a panic attack. Gabe, I wish I knew the best things to say to you right now to help you get out of this panic attack. But do you know what brought on this panic attack?
Gabe: [00:02:40] It’s a lot of stress. There’s a lot of… it’s very stressful having Michelle at my house and it’s very stressful having to do a podcast and it’s very stressful having to talk about trying to hold everything together and keep everything…
Michelle: [00:02:58] Is your heart just palpitating like crazy right now?
Gabe: [00:03:01] I don’t think it’s palpitating, like it’s beating.
Michelle: [00:03:03] It’s pounding. Are you sweating? Are you feeling shortness of breath? Are you feel like you’re being smothered?
Gabe: [00:03:10] Yes.
Michelle: [00:03:11] I know this is like a very terrifying experience for you. How often do you have panic attacks?
Gabe: [00:03:17] Couple of times a week.
Michelle: [00:03:19] Are they all the same?
Gabe: [00:03:21] No, I mean nothing’s all the same, things are just not the same. Look at…
Michelle: [00:03:27] What’s going on with your arm that you’re showing me right now? Is your… are you… Are your hands just shaking so much you just can’t keep your hands still?
Gabe: [00:03:35] There’s that. But look at all this.
Michelle: [00:03:37] You’re changing colors.
Gabe: [00:03:38] Look at all the sweat.
Michelle: [00:03:40] All the sweat because you’re just so hot, you’re overheated.
Gabe: [00:03:44] No I don’t… I don’t think it’s overheated. I think it’s a…
Michelle: [00:03:48] What’s the best case scenario that you think would help you right now? Going to bed? Watching more TV? Hanging out with your dog?
Gabe: [00:03:57] I usually just eat a lot of like salty… like peanuts or pretzels because just the sensation in my mouth feels better and the crunching distracts me. I don’t know if that makes sense. That just feels good.
Michelle: [00:04:15] So this panic attack is brought on by stress by me being here. We have to record a lot of podcasts here, work tomorrow with me over tomorrow on your other podcast for the Psych Central Show… it’s just a lot of things to do and it all kind of just attacked you at once and you’re just kind of losing it in a sense, which is what brought it all on? Was there any like anything said or anything… Was there an external factor or do you think was all internal?
Gabe: [00:04:42] No I don’t think anybody did anything wrong. I think this is just my life.
Michelle: [00:04:46] Your life for the rest of your life. You think will be like this.
Gabe: [00:04:49] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:04:49] Do you have a fast acting anti-anxiety pill that you take ever?
Gabe: [00:04:55] Yes.
Michelle: [00:04:56] Have you taken it?
Gabe: [00:04:57] No.
Michelle: [00:04:57] Will you be taking it after we start recording?
Gabe: [00:05:00] Probably.
Michelle: [00:05:02] Are you scared right now?
Gabe: [00:05:04] I’m not scared. I don’t think anybody’s going to hurt me. I don’t think that you’re going to hurt me. I don’t think… I don’t have the words to describe. I think the reality of my life. Nobody’s going to believe anything.
Michelle: [00:05:18] What do you try and just say we are trying to say we got it.
Gabe: [00:05:21] No I just I think that this is… I think that anybody listening to this is going to think that it’s some sort of bullshit stunt. I don’t think that it’s I just I I’m.
Michelle: [00:05:30] Panic attacks can be brought on by anything. Nobody is going to think that it’s a stunt, nobody is gonna think that you’re lying. Panic attacks just happen. And even though we come on this podcast all the time and we talk and we banter and we have fun while we talk about mental health and mental illness, people don’t always understand that yes, we are mentally ill and we do go through these things. So it is really good when we share you know our stories and when we’re doing well but also when we’re not doing well and why this happens and just you know instead of you know we call ourselves recovered but yet these things still happen to us. And you know mental illness doesn’t just go away just because we take medicine you know symptoms don’t just go away. They can still appear, they can still really affect us. They can just change the way our thoughts are going, they can just attack you, just panic attacks just attack people within minutes. And I’ve never seen you act like this ever. If you think that people are thinking this is a stunt, what would you say to someone who says like Oh Gabe you’re not having a panic attack, why don’t you just calm down, like panic attacks and for little girls?
Gabe: [00:06:46] That’s funny – panic attacks or for little girls. I think you should put that on a shirt. I’ve soaked my jeans with sweat. I’m wearing a hoodie and it’s look that’s from sweat. Maybe you can describe this like describe what you are seeing.
Michelle: [00:07:10] I see a sweaty sweatshirt. I was like. you know that I just googled panic attack and this is what it says. A panic attack is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes and includes at least four of the following symptoms. They are palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate, sweating, trembling or shaking sensations, shortness of breath or smothering. I would say you have all of those symptoms right now 100 percent for sure. What is the best way to get you out of these symptoms? What do you wish people would do? What if you were a young girl and when did you start getting panic attacks?
Gabe: [00:07:52] The first panic attack that I ever remember having was when I was I was married.
Michelle: [00:08:00] Your first wife.
Gabe: [00:08:00] Yeah. And we were at the mall with her aunt who was visiting from out of town and we got into an argument. I don’t remember about what. And I was sitting there in the middle of the mall and behind me was an Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. And after they left, I was just so hot and I didn’t know why I was hot. And I felt weird and I thought I was hungry. I got up and bought a couple of pretzels and a drink. And I sat back down and I ate the pretzels and the drink and I just felt better afterward. And whenever I would get that feeling ever again, I thought it was hunger. So whenever I would feel that way, I would just think Oh I’m hungry again and I would I would eat and this went on for years. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and that I realized that that these were symptoms of anxiety and panic and they weren’t hunger pains. But I had been treating panic attacks with food. I mean you know I weighed 500 and I mean I don’t know how much I weighed then but you know my maximum weight was five hundred and fifty pounds. So it wasn’t surprising that I mistook… I just ate a lot.
Michelle: [00:09:35] I understand that your situation and associating with food was how you thought you were fixing the problem when you didn’t know what the problem essentially was. So then finding out that you were bipolar and that these are panic attacks was actually very beneficial because then you could treat them in the correct way and not just go and eat. So it was actually great that you found out what you actually were having.
Gabe: [00:10:02] Yeah medical science is great.
Michelle: [00:10:04] Do you think there is a difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack?
Gabe: [00:10:08] I don’t think there is a difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack. I know there is a difference between a panic attack and anxiety attack.
Michelle: [00:10:16] OK. So do you do you ever have anxiety attacks?
Gabe: [00:10:21] Yes.
Michelle: [00:10:22] So how do you how do you differentiate yourself and anxiety attack and a panic attack
Gabe: [00:10:22] Because panic attacks are acute. They come on quickly, they’re immediate, and they dissipate, and anxiety attacks are different. They’re just medically different. And they have different symptoms and causes and feelings and I know the difference between them and it’s just experience. I had a friend when I was younger who had cancer. He was my age, we were both 15 years old. I used to think that his mom was just so incredibly smart because she knew so much about cancer and about his medication and his treatments and she had every answer that you would ever need to know. But she wasn’t smart. I mean she was, she’s smart, she’s a smart lady. It was survival. She needed to know this to save her kid and to protect her kid and to make him feel better. That’s why I know so much about bipolar disorder and panic attacks and anxiety and mental illness. It’s not because I’m smart it’s because I have to, just like she had to and he had to.
Michelle: [00:11:46] So to keep yourself well, you keep yourself educated.
Gabe: [00:11:50] Yeah. To keep myself well, I have to know.
Gabe: [00:11:53] Is that a stressful thing for you? Was going out to lunch today a stressful thing for you?
Gabe: [00:11:59] I think that you’re just stressful, Michelle.
Michelle: [00:12:01] I’m stressful.
Gabe: [00:12:03] I mean…
Michelle: [00:12:03] Just dealing with me. Am I unpredictable?
Gabe: [00:12:07] No sadly you’re very predictable.
Michelle: [00:12:10] I said something wrong to you? Is it a…
Gabe: [00:12:12] No, Michelle. It’s not. No that’s not what I mean. I just I think that maybe people don’t understand the structure of our working relationship. You know we don’t have money. So when we do a lot of this stuff, when we’re working you’re around and when we’re not working, because you’re staying at my house, you know, you’re in my house and there’s no reprieve and there’s nowhere to go and we’re just… it’s just this onslaught. It’s not you, it’s not Michelle Hammer it’s not it’s just…
Michelle: [00:12:48] Working.
Gabe: [00:12:49] Some of the things that we do to make this show are not mentally healthy for me, they’re not.
Michelle: [00:12:55] Like the things we talk about.
Gabe: [00:12:57] The things that we talk, about the things that we do, the way that we record. You know, sometimes it would be better if it’s just like, OK well Michelle’s pissed off and doesn’t want to talk about it. So the smart thing to do would be for me to just be like, oh OK I’ll go stand over here and we’ll talk about it tomorrow, but we can’t talk about it tomorrow because tomorrow you’re on an airplane and then you’re in New York. So I think, OK we got to do it. Got to do it right now. We got to. And then you’re like, Well fuck you, Gabe, stop talking to me and I’m like, Yeah that’s the reason why I don’t want to talk to me either.
Michelle: [00:13:32] Well nothing is ever easy when dealing with other people.
Gabe: [00:13:36] Yeah. People suck. I don’t even think that. Anybody that knows me that hears me say people suck, that’s when they know I’ve hit a wall.
Michelle: [00:13:44] I think sometimes when you kind of have a plan to do things and then when your plan doesn’t go as planned, it’s very frustrating and it just brings down a lot of stress and that you know like you’re going to do. And then you just think the whole world is imploding because nothing’s going as planned and everything’s kind of crashing down.
Gabe: [00:14:04] Sure. You ever seen the movie Gattaca? It came out in the 80s or 90s. But anyways that was one of those, you know, dystopian future things where they took people’s DNA and they determined what people could do based on a DNA test. And there was this person in it where they took his DNA and they determined what he could do based on his DNA. But he didn’t accept that. So his brother, the main character’s brother, had the DNA that said that he could swim 10 miles. I’m really messing this story all to hell. So the two boys, the one had the DNA that said that he could do it and the other had the DNA that said that he couldn’t.
Michelle: [00:14:54] They switched DNA?
Gabe: [00:14:55] No they didn’t switch the DNA. The brother couldn’t figure out how his brother that wasn’t supposed to be able to swim all the way to the buoy and back could make it back without dying. And he said, because if I didn’t swim back, I’d die. And in that situation, you just have to do it. I don’t know how I make shit work. It’s not life or death, doing our show.
Michelle: [00:15:22] I get that, but I hope this is not what 23 and Me is doing with our DNA. Also just saying that was a joke a joke.
Gabe: [00:15:32] No I actually just thought, oh fuck. I think that’s what they’re doing with our DNA.
Michelle: [00:15:37] I was a lifeguard for six summers. If you swim all the way to the buoy and you can’t swim back, you then go on your back and you kind of just float on your back and push yourself back that way, elementary backstroke.
Gabe: [00:15:52] It was just an analogy.
Michelle: [00:15:54] I know was just an analogy, but I get it. You have to you know, power through because you have to come back.
Gabe: [00:16:02] Because there’s no other way to do it. When we have more time, more energy, more money, maybe we’ll do it differently.
Narrator: [00:16:11] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.
Michelle: [00:16:43] Ok Gabe and we’re back. Everybody’s just heard this stressful panic attack that you went through and everything you said. My biggest question why is me being with you so stressful?
Gabe: [00:16:56] Well as I explained on the show, it’s not just you. It’s not any one thing. Recording these shows is really hard. I really don’t think that people understand the emotional outlay of thinking of all of your worst moments, of all of your regrets, of all of your mistakes. I mean, we have a lot invested in these episodes. We really try not to be surfacy. We really try to dig deep into our emotions about living with mental illness and doing that two, three, four, five, six shows in a matter of one or two days. That’s a lot. And your running around my house chasing my dog.
Michelle: [00:17:35] Your dog wants to play with me Gabe.
Gabe: [00:17:39] My dog is bad ass. I’m not going to lie.
Michelle: [00:17:42] And then you also said like people think you fake it.
Gabe: [00:17:46] People do.
Michelle: [00:17:46] That’s so mean that people think you’re faking a panic attack.
Gabe: [00:17:50] I don’t think that, I don’t. I didn’t mean people think that I’m faking a panic attack. They just… when you’re in the public eye like we are, you invite comments. Many of those comments are very reassuring and they’re very complimentary and they feel like a big hug, but not all of them are. We get a lot of very critical e-mails. And I have a thick skin. I’ve developed one over the years, but some of them are hard not to take personally. And the one that is the hardest not to take personally is the people that say you’re faking for attention. You don’t have mental illness. You don’t have bipolar disorder, people with schizophrenia act this way, people with bipolar act this way. You have a home, so I don’t know why you’re complaining about mental illness and on and on… that’s a lot to endure. I don’t like to be called a liar. I don’t like to be told that I’m attention seeking.
Michelle: [00:18:44] I agree with that. I agree with that. I get the same thing, that that does make sense. That is very frustrating when people just downplay your mental illness because they think that anyone with a mental illness can’t have any kind of success or achievements, which really just is a whole bunch of stigma. I mean don’t you… Don’t people want to see people with mental illness living well? And then once they do is they, Oh you’re not mentally ill.
Gabe: [00:19:07] We really sort of exist in these two ways, either we are incredibly sick and will never be well or we’re dramatic, faking liars. We can’t have sick and wellness, we can only have sick and fake or sick and con or sick and drama. And that really bums me out because neither choice is good. I don’t want to be seen as a dramatic lying stereotype who’s conning people out of money. I also don’t want to be, you know, sick and terrified and walking around my front yard, keeping the demons away from my wife, which for longtime listeners of the show, that they’ve heard this story a time or two and you know, Michelle, we’ve talked about you. I mean think of all of you used to think that your mom wanted to kill you. You clearly don’t want to go back to that.
Michelle: [00:19:57] No not one bit. I don’t want to go back to that at all. No paranoia ever. If I get any bout of any paranoia, I take anti-anxiety at that very moment because I am so terrified of paranoid thoughts getting into my head. It’s one of the scariest things. I’m almost scared so much and becoming paranoid almost more than I’ll be paranoid.
Gabe: [00:20:20] That’s one of the things that we sort of touched on it in our screaming match that we edited out. Thank you, Michelle, for still being my co-host. But it’s scary stuff. Now I have a question for you, Michelle.
Michelle: [00:20:35] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:20:36] You experienced the same thing. We kind of talked about it a little, you know, after we got done recording, you know later that night, it’s hard for you too because you’re away from home. You’re staying in a strange place. You don’t have any of your friends and in your words you think Ohio is really boring and…
Michelle: [00:20:54] I’m not the only one. I am not the only one that thinks Ohio is really boring. It definitely feels that way. I’m not the only one.
Gabe: [00:21:05] But you have to spend three or four days doing this deep emotional dive as well. And it’s a lot of work, it’s a lot of energy, and you’re away from your support system to work out… we really are locked in a room doing all of this recording. It’s really hard. How do you handle it? I know the panic attacks are a symptom that you suffer from, but I know that you get emotionally drained. I can tell by the way you yell at me on day three that there’s something going on in there and that’s not an insult.
Michelle: [00:21:34] When you just have to play that song about people getting lap dances.
Gabe: [00:21:36] Yeah yeah yeah yeah well we know that. I know the song the lap dance on that’s my song.
Michelle: [00:21:41] Turn that song off. I can’t take that song down. Everybody that’s not again. I don’t even now I eat is stressful because you’re in a new element. You don’t know where you are. What I do for finding your place is I chase your dog around the living room. Your dog is my best friend.
Gabe: [00:21:57] Hey.
Michelle: [00:21:59] What?
Gabe: [00:21:59] I’m your best friend.
Michelle: [00:22:01] Kendall’s your best friend.
Gabe: [00:22:04] No. Lisa’s my best friend.
Michelle: [00:22:07] Your wife is supposed to be your best friend Gabe.
Gabe: [00:22:11] Why is that a thing?
Michelle: [00:22:12] Aren’t you supposed to marry your best friend?
Gabe: [00:22:17] I think this is the number one cause of all of the divorces in the country, that we expect our spouses to be everything. Literally everything. Anything you name people were like, Well that should be your wife. Your wife is supposed to be your partner, your best friend, your TV watching buddy. Your confidant. But I mean just at what point are you putting so much on one person that they’re just like, I’m out? That would cause anybody to have a panic attack and that’s really why I bring it up when you are in Ohio. I am everything to you. And in order to make due of our time you are everything to me. So we can’t get away from each other. We get the brunt of our success or failure, our happiness, our work, our just everything that happens is Gabe Michelle, Gabe and Michelle, Gabe and Michelle and by day three, I’m just like I hate you Michelle! And you are like…
Michelle: [00:23:14] I hate you Gabe!
Gabe: [00:23:15] Exactly. And there is no better way to do this. I mean I suppose if we had like billions of dollars there’d be a better way.
Michelle: [00:23:22] If there’s an angel investor, if you’re an angel investor and you know, if you’re a philanthropist, if you want to give us like a billion dollars so that we don’t get in these stressful fights you are more than welcome to send us the check, email us at [email protected].
Gabe: [00:23:40] Yeah. Email us at [email protected] with your billion dollar check. Yes.
Michelle: [00:23:44] Yes yes. Putting it out there, more than welcome.
Gabe: [00:23:46] You never know. The answer is always no if you don’t ask. The question really should be, Why don’t I have more panic attacks when you’re around? I have an anxiety disorder. I have panic disorder and this is hard. I’m not repeating this over and over again to annoy people, I’m just stating the fact that this is the first panic attack that I’ve ever had on the air is really quite remarkable. It really really is. In that way, I want to thank you Michelle, because it shows that you are a great and supportive co-host. I don’t want to do the show with anybody else, because I think with anybody else it would be a lot worse, because this is hard shit. And believe it or not, you are really good at being supportive. When you want to be.
Michelle: [00:24:34] When I want, when I want to be.
Gabe: [00:24:35] When you want to be.
Michelle: [00:24:37] When I want to be. I mean, I think it’s good also because it shows that you know colors have recovered. But you know these symptoms they don’t go away.
Gabe: [00:24:44] They don’t.
Michelle: [00:24:45] I mean I take seven medications, I’ve said that many times, yet I still talk to myself.
Gabe: [00:24:51] And you have a great video out right now. You should really bop over to PsychCentral’s Facebook page. Look in the video section and there is a great video that was made by Michelle Hammer where she’s showing herself talking to herself and talking about those symptoms. We will put a link in the show notes for this episode. But again, you can also head over to PsychCentral’s Facebook page and give it a watch. It’s really good. Now eventually, Michelle, you have to freak out and we have to record it so I don’t know if I have to hide your meds or maybe keep you up for three days. But we’ve already had game to play this kind of show and gave panic on the show. Does Michelle freak out on the show?
Michelle: [00:25:28] I can not take my nighttime medicine and then not take my morning medicine and I’ll just go nuts.
Gabe: [00:25:35] This is not a good idea. And we will not be doing this. We should probably give up before we close here. You know, do as we do and not as we say is something that my father used to say to me. I don’t know why when I had a panic attack and I looked over at Michelle, the first thing I thought about was, oh my god there’s podcasting equipment upstairs. This probably isn’t the healthiest thing to do. And I should note and say that if Michelle wasn’t there I would have taken… I have medication for this that I carry in my pocket. I would have taken a deep breath. My wife would rub my back. I did not make a smart decision by deciding to record and let the panic attack.
Michelle: [00:26:14] No. You did make a smart decision because we’re showing our listeners what a panic attack can be and showing them how it can manifest in different people. Even though we consider ourselves recovered, we’re showing people that yes we still have panic attacks and I think it is a good thing to record a podcast about it just to show people it happens and when it goes through what it can be like. And you are the great Gabe Howard, the host of the PsychCentral Show and the co-host of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. And yet you still have panic attacks, so you’re just being an open book and showing everybody what it’s like.
Gabe: [00:26:51] I love that. I’ve decided that from now on, I am the great Gabe and you are the magnificent Michelle.
Michelle: [00:26:57] OK I’m down with that.
Gabe: [00:26:59] Together we are the… we need something that starts with an H because we both have H last names. The Honorable Howard and Hammer except honorable is lame.
Michelle: [00:27:08] Honorable is kind of lame.
Gabe: [00:27:10] We will put that out to our audience. E-mail [email protected] about what H word goes with Howard and Hammer that describes the great Gabe and the magnificent Michelle. Thank you everybody for tuning into this episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you are not telling your friends, you are making us poor. Please tell everybody that you know, like us, rate us, rank us everywhere you download this podcast and finally, comment on PsychCentral.com/BSP. We will see everybody next week!
Michelle: [00:27:40] Why am I so stressful!?
Narrator: [00:27:43] You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself. Head on over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app. Subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. The show’s official Web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at [email protected]. Thank you for listening, and share widely.
Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts
GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.
MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.
from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-host-has-a-panic-attack-live-while-recording/
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