#when you're too busy having a meltdown to start actually working on the problem yet

[kariachi]

Me: *does jack-all*

My Brain: You should throw some open-ended teen pregnancy panic au into the world

Me: Why?

My Brain: Because I’m giving you words, bitch, use them.

~~

They hadn’t even known there was a full alien community living under Bellwood until they’d followed Kevin’s badge right into it. The dot on the map led them straight to what seemed like a shoddy apartment building, to a door on the third floor. The person who answered immediately had their hackles up.

“Argit,” Gwen ground out.

“Tennysons,” the alien replied with even less enthusiasm. He turned to look inside. “Yo, Earthboy, guests!”

“Is it Death?”

“No.”

“Then tell ‘em to fuck off.” Argit shrugged at them like this was only mildly unusual, putting up no more resistance than a huff when they pushed passed him. Ben, at least, paid enough attention to notice he had a knife on him.

Kevin wasn’t difficult to find, splayed out on one of the couches looking for all the world like he hadn’t moved in twenty-four hours. It was a pathetic look, that would’ve had people who weren’t already upset at him concerned.

“You stood me up,” Gwen said, standing by his boots with her arms crossed.

“Hello to you too, Gwendolyn,” Kevin replied, unmoving and seemingly uncaring.

“Ben needed our help.”

“Is he dead?”

“No,” Ben cut in, making his way over to the opposite arm of the couch and kneeling down by Kevin’s head. “Just had some, issues, the last few days. Turns out Big Chill was pregnant.” The laugh that came out of Kevin was painfully joyless.

“What a coincidence, so am I.”

Jaws dropped. Blinking rapidly, Ben reached out, half on instinct, to pat Kevin’s head soothingly. Gwen dropped her arms and gaped.

“What is this,” she said, face twisted in something between confusion, shock, and concern, “an epidemic?”

“I hope not,” Argit replied, breezing passed her and sitting on the coffee table. “I don’t know if you’d worry, but I’d rather not be responsible to getting rid of unwanted kittens if I don’t have to be. Bad enough I gotta look out for this ass.” Weakly, Kevin flailed an arm in Argit’s general direction. The alien very obviously let it connect.

“I hate you.”

“I know, that’s why you keep me.” The Tennysons turned to him, since Kevin clearly wasn’t in the mood. He shrugged again. “Found out yesterday. He’s not taking it well right now.”

Gwen resisted the urge to chew her lip. That certainly explained why he hadn’t shown up last night, and why he hadn’t called. The implication that he hadn’t moved since then was concerning though.

“Is he alright,” she asked. Meanwhile Ben nudged Kevin into moving enough for the smaller teen to slip onto the couch, before his head fell again into his lap.

“He’ll be fine,” Argit replied. “Been stressful lately, what with being back on Earth, having bills to pay, sucking at paying ‘em because he’s busy helping you guys fend off an invasion, working with Ben after their bullshit, all the shit with you, dysphoria, the health problems his powers give him-” He took a deep breath and released it easily. “He was due a meltdown anyway. Won’t be more than a few days before he’s back in top condition, dealing with the problem.”

“Or, you could be a good friend,” Kevin grumbled, “and kill me.”

“What have I said, buddy,” Argit replied, shooting Gwen a fondly exasperated look as he reached out to join in patting Kevin. “If you die, who’ll keep me alive?”

“If you loved me, you’d die for me.” Argit just shook his head.

“Get back to me in seven days and we’ll talk about it.”

Pushing Kevin’s feet aside, Gwen settled on the arm of the couch, unwilling to be out of the central group for the sake of sitting properly. The past twenty-four hours had already been rather intense, what with her cousin turning out to be a daddy (mommy? parenty? what was she supposed to call him here?) but this was a whole new level. That had been a few days of concern followed by, essentially, nothing. With this? All she could think about was how this was going to affect the fight against the Highbreed, how it would affect their relationship, how it would affect Kevin, affect everything. But then Kevin was a mutant and they were supposed to be prone to miscarriages and oh god that was a horrible thought why had she even had that what was wrong with her

Argit damn near yanked her off the couch by the arm, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Come on, Red,” he said, “make yourself useful before your loud-ass thinking disturbs Kev’s perfectly good panic attack.”

She was never going to admit it, but being forced to make some weird-ass alien tea and basically put together and entire snack tray with nothing but Argit’s exacting instructions was actually very soothing- very much like dealing with her mother, with no room for excess thought- and by the time they got back into the next room Kevin had fallen into what she was fairly sure was a nap. She hoped it was a nap, he could probably use one.

She, Ben, and Argit very carefully avoided any potentially relevant topics for the rest of the afternoon.