#when you're so invested in a ship that hasn't even been started yet tbh

[brxkngilbert]

Five Tiems Fucked ( bc i'm a slut for the ship eVEN THO I HAVENT GOTTEN U A STARTER YET GTG )

                     Send Five Times Fucked For A Drabble                                            ➥@decentjock

ngl i’m just casually pretending jeff ended up in the hospital after the crash bc he definitely didn’t die i will not believe it

𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 started with a kiss. A stupid party. A stupid game. It’d seemed to be set up so that guys kissed girls to pass the card over- and then the girls kissed guys. Every so often a girl would kiss another girl to keep the card moving around, but for the most part- guys weren’t kissing. Maybe it was intentional, maybe not, but that was the way it’d turned out. Jeremy hadn’t even wanted to play, but he was drunk and a friend had convinced him (to this day he thinks that maybe it was because she wanted to kiss him, despite his strong stance as gay). But a turn of fate had him turning to the side and landing eyes on Jeff Atkins, the boy who he’d shared a few brief conversations with, and had probably had more than a few dreams about. He hoped he’d do it right- it was simple, right? You turn, press your mouth to the other person’s, pass the card on and it was over. But of course he screwed up. At the last second, the card dropped down, and he was feeling Jeff’s lips against his own.

He doesn’t remember much after that. It was something about the kiss that had them both standing up and moving away from the group. He could only assume that the game continued after they left, but it didn’t matter- all that mattered had been Jeff’s hands on his waist and their lips pressed together. If you asked him where they actually did it, he wouldn’t be able to say. All he could remember was their combined hands discarding clothes, the feeling of soft, unfamiliar sheets at his back, and the baseball player on top of him. He hadn’t gotten the chance to ask, but he thought he might have left a few scratches on the other male’s back. His nails might have been blunt, but they could do a bit if curled enough.

But Jeff had crashed his car before he could ask.

𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 probably was later. Not more than a few weeks- Hannah Baker was still alive, but Jeff was still in the hospital. It wasn’t sex- not really, at least. He’d visited Jeff a few times- couldn’t help it, really, for some reason. There was just a part of him that had felt obligated to come, to sit and talk. And that’s how it’d happened. He could vaguely remember the kiss from the first night they’d had sex, and he wanted to try again- to see if Jeff’s lips against his own would make him feel the same way they’d made him that night. So he’d leaned in, pressed their lips together…

And then before he really knew it, he was reaching over and half-shutting the curtain around Jeff’s bed, eyes cautious as he watched the other male’s face, mouth going down on him despite the doctors or nurses that could walk in at any moment. Both of them probably should have been more concerned about being walked in on, but they’d lucked out- and Jeremy had ended up swallowing the other male’s cum and fixing himself up nervously, terrified that someone would walk in a moment later. Not that that was really a uncalled-for fear.

𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕕 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 was the day Jeremy found out Hannah Baker had died. Jeff was home from the hospital, and Jeremy was shellshocked. Sure, he’d never been particularly close to her- but they’d talked, and since he’d never really gotten close to too many people in general, he sort of considered her a friend. But she became a friend he lost. He’d gone to Jeff for comfort, because they’d more or less become close- but they’d made it to Jeff’s room, Jeremy’s eyes teary. Jeff’s fingers had wiped away the tears, and suddenly Jeremy’s tear-blurred vision was clear, and he was looking at Jeff. The face of the jock he’d almost lost in a stupid car crash, and he couldn’t take it.

The crushing fear of losing another person- or rather, the memory of almost losing them- had him surging forward and pressing his lips to Jeff’s, kissing the baseball player with just about everything he had in him, because he needed him. In that moment, Jeremy needed nothing more than the tentative promise of someone being there, needed to actually feel him there, feel their bodies meshing together.

He could only assume that Jeff knew what he needed, since the other male didn’t ask so many questions as much as he did following exactly what Jeremy was thinking of.

And that was the night that Jeremy thought he might have been in love with Jeff Atkins.

𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 came after their first official date. They’d done the cliche first date sort of thing- gone to a movie, and Monet’s, and Jeff was dropping him back off at home. If he was being completely honest, Jeremy wasn’t actually planning on having sex with Jeff that night. Call it some weird form of hopeful self respect, but he felt determined not to have sex with Jeff for the sole reason that he wanted whatever they were starting to be about more than sex. Part of him feared that Jeff might have only wanted him for sex, so he was planning on avoiding it that night.

But then they’d pulled up in front of his house, and his Aunt Jenna’s car wasn’t there. Elena was away at college, and though Jeremy tried not to talk about it too much, there was nothing he hated more in the world than being home alone. Some part of it scared him, for some reason- exactly what reason, he didn’t know- so he’d turned to Jeff, his voice almost a whisper, and asked, “Do you want to come inside?” And there was no hope after that.

It was late- they’d gone to a late movie- and for some reason, Jeremy admitted to his fears. “I don’t like being alone. I know you should be getting home, but-” And it was followed by Jeff calling his mother, claiming he’d be staying at a friend’s house (or something- admittedly, he hadn’t been paying much attention) and then the sweet face of Jeff Atkins was looking at him, telling him that it was okay- that he’d stay, that Jeremy wouldn’t have to be alone that night.

Their night had been innocent enough. Jeremy had a TV in his room, and despite the fact that they’d gone to see a movie that night, they’d ended up spooning on his bed and watching some sort of movie or another. Before long, Jeremy was turning around in Jeff’s arms and leaning in, pressing a few tentative kisses to the other male’s lips, had asked the damning question- “Do you want to get more comfortable? Since you’re spending the night.”

Then Jeff’s shirt was coming off, and all hope of a sex-free night was disappearing. Staring at the other male’s bare chest, Jeremy couldn’t help himself, leaning in to kiss at the jock’s exposed skin, and before he knew it, all of their clothes were disappearing, and Jeff was on top of him, and part of Jeremy thought that Jeff just felt flat out right moving against him, their lips together, muffling panting breaths and soft moans.

𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 is different. They’d been what you could call dating for a few weeks. After the night of their first date, Jeremy had come clean. That he didn’t want what they were to just be about sex, so he wanted to hold off a little. Not anything insane, like waiting for marriage- just a little while, so they could actually build a relationship outside of their sex life, and thankfully Jeff had agreed, because Jeff was a decent guy. A good guy. The kind of guy Jeremy needed, if he was being honest.

That time, Jeff had been over for some sort of dinner party that Jeremy’s Aunt Jenna was throwing- Elena was home from college for a little while, so Jenna had wanted to do a little get together for friends and everything, and a large part of Jeremy had wanted to invite Jeff so his older sister could meet his boyfriend. He might have had a tense relationship with his older sister, but Jeremy was certain that Jeff was already a large part of his life, and would only grow to be a bigger part.

Jeremy was not a small guy- he was actually quite large, and bulky, but he’d always seamlessly fell into a more submissive role around Jeff, because that’s just what his personality was like. So he hadn’t hesitated in walking over to the plush chair Jeff was sitting on in the living room, and crawling into his lap, head tucking itself into the baseball player’s neck while Jeff was having a conversation with Elena. It’d just felt natural to him. And when Elena had excused herself- thankfully having enough sense to see the scene in front of her, of her little brother and his boyfriend, and deciding to give them some privacy.

“Can you stay the night?” The question had been cautious, tentatively whispered into Jeff’s ear, because Jeremy was almost terrified of being rejected, even though Jeff had never actually given him a reason to believe that he’d reject him. He just couldn’t help it. He’d pressed a few kisses to the other male’s neck, tugging the collar of his shirt down enough to kiss over the hickey he’d left only a few days before, because he was almost always loved leaving secret little marks on Jeff’s skin. Things that he knew only he’d see- or things that other people would only see when Jeff was changing in the locker rooms. His voice and kisses was obvious enough to point to his intentions- he was finally ready to break their cold-turkey stance on sex, because he thought they were enough of a couple to not allow sex to take over their entire relationship.

That night, Jeff had pinned Jeremy’s wrists above his head with a strong grip, and a large part of the Gilbert boy loved it. Loved him. It was the night Jeremy Gilbert told Jeff Atkins that he loved him, in the warm afterglow of sex, tucked under the other male’s arm, his head on his chest and his heart in his throat, terrified of what Jeff might say, but knowing he meant it with his entire being no matter what Jeff’s reaction was.