#when you put it that way it feels really stagnant but. idk it's all incremental improvement

[starlit-mansion]

20? :)

What’s something you learned this year?

In terms of a whole new realm of thing, I learned how to play magic (of the gathering variety). I always kind of assumed that playing a tcg would be like playing one of those hours-long playing card games (which is. so fucking boring to me lmao. all the adults in my family really liked playing a canasta variant called hand and foot and it took FOREVER and i grew to dread the inevitable hours of sitting at the table matching suits), but it was very shocking to realize that mtg put me in the same headspace as playing a video game. It's very engaging, and while I probably wouldn't have gotten into it on my own, it's nice to be able to enjoy the runoff of my partner's investment and have a game that doesn't involve looking at a screen.

We are inching closer to being a board game couple though lmao

[astrologanize]

have been in a massive funk (depressive episode?) that i haven’t experienced to this severity since 2016 and if anyone can relate then i figured i’d share what i have been doing to help with that

- invested in vitamins (magnesium glycinate, calcium, d3) since i’ve been having skin issues i have been avoiding the sun since i don’t want to go through the process of trialing sunscreens and seeing what does & doesn’t work, potentially worsening said issues smh. but i recently said fuck it and got some neutrogena  baby sunscreen that’s fragrance free and all that jazz because it’s supposed to be gentle and it is affordable and neutrogena has worked for me in the past so why not. i purchased another sunscreen months ago but i don’t think my skin was a fan of it because it was a lil burn-y and tingly after application, thankfully i tested it on my arms first and not my face. idk we’ll see. such is life

- also trying to take more notice in the foods that make me feel good and provide me with energy/mood boost! and mostly avoiding foods that aren’t worth the accompanying lethargy or upset stomach, but listen...your taste buds matter...so if a food is enjoyable for me and makes me happy then any *mild* discomfort in the aftermath is worth it in moderation from time to time 

- i’m doing a 30 day mindfulness challenge! and that’s lovely! you can look them up and pick whichever provides you with what you feel you’re most in need of. writing down what you are grateful for and focusing on the positives of what is happening in your life also never hurts

- i’ve been clearing out any spaces that need it. even on my annoying ass phone...i’ve been transferring anything i want to save onto a usb and it is a time consuming process that i’m trying to do in increments but i know it’s going to feel great once i have my phone as cleared out as possible so i can start saving new memories & momentos (: 

- choosing to shorten my work week by 1 day so that i am able to have a free day on the weekend to fill my personal cup of happiness!! because that is always worth it!!!!!! i shall budget accordingly but i am grateful to be doing so

- “look good feel good” except looking good to me is more about feeling comfortable in my own skin and clothing. i hate putting on a constricting outfit that may look good but makes me feel like i can’t move around freely and enjoy life. outfits that do make me feel good about the way i am presenting myself that also allow me to move freely are the goal! and hygiene is important. some days i feel lazy as hell and don’t want to do the stuff that i know makes me (feel) better but i do it because i know it makes me (feel) better...once in a while tho it’s like lol nah imma let myself be stagnant and not do that for a moment and the world will not end, i won’t feel as great but that’s okay...eventually i will resume maintaining what i need to and perk up. it’s okay to stop for a moment sometimes but ya gotta get back on it 

- really trying to keep in mind that every day is a new unlived day that is not meant to look exactly like the last and you cannot always expect your best to look the same. there’s always going to be emotions that come up, mishaps, life interference, and challenges that meet you along the way and that’s how it’s meant to be. we shall control what we can and adapt how we must. you just keep trying! some days we need to ask more of ourselves even when we don’t want to and other days we need to allow ourselves a true rest that offers nothing but peace; some days we make progress, some days are stagnant, some days we regress, and that’s all just...life

sometimes it’s nice to recognize that wow i’m sad today or today is hard for me and allowing yourself to simply have a sad, gentler day to yourself without feeling like things are shit forever - hell, sometimes it’s multiple days or weeks that are off but you gotta know your sun is going to shine again and maybe the off-ness is redirecting you for the best. follow your heart, breathe, take your time when you can and make time when you can, try to persevere without driving yourself up the wall, all the hard work you put in and progress needs to be enjoyed, your life is meant to be enjoyed, it’s okkkaaaayyyyyyyy. tend to your heart and express your heart and embolden yourself with an accepting & firm love - accept all that you are and are not but don’t let yourself believe that you are defined by what you think you lack and that there is no room for you to grow. stand strong in your heart and in your character