#when u r unconscious <3'' thing like tjere is no other effects but withdrawal effects tht hit stupidly quickly nd side effects tht make me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
wingedbeings · 4 years ago
Text
ok -_-
#so tired of havign a brain like this like calm down!!!!!!!!!#i jst want to experience a normal day but instrad i am being delusional agaib for the millionth time <3#moss.exe#literaly this medical delusion is driving me insane when will it stop!!!!!!!!!!!! i read smth Once! ONCE!!!! nd since i have had this#delusion ive proven wrong so many times nd im aware its a delusion yet p much every day i am fully convinced its real nd im right also#its been several years since i read tjt shit!!! like SHUT UP ms schizophrenia i get it!!!#so tired of this fr#i take the crazy person medicine and yet#rly wish i could switch 2 different antipsychotics bc dear god i am losing it#like both literally nd jst from how exhausting this is#why do i even still take my current antipsychotics they r so invasivr nd im like 90% sure they dont do anything but the ''wel cant be insane#when u r unconscious <3'' thing like tjere is no other effects but withdrawal effects tht hit stupidly quickly nd side effects tht make me#feel awful when they dont instantly knock me out or i dont sleep at least 8 hrs on them#nd i guess tht last part is amplified by my cfs/me but Fuck#also i already had the worst metabolism to begin w and this isnt helping <3#like i'm rly losing my grey matter or smth just to be forcibly put to sleep at this point#which yea i do also need tht bc of insomnia when i dont take meds where im jst incapable of sleeping if im not medicated n tht in turn makin#g me more insane but wel. ive kinda had it ngl <3#the only meds i was capable of sleeping on before my antipsychotics was a heavy benzo dose of tje sleeping kind which i still have as prn#meds but i cant exactly take those daily so tht sucks too#i wish they developed less scary and invasive medication for tjese things bc im honestly incapable of not being medicated#like it just isn't doable unless i'm inpatient in a v intense form which is smth tht just makes my symptoms worse n leaves me w zero quality#of life nd tjey'd just forcibly medicate me anyway#so yknow#rly kind of scary tk think abt all this haha#i jst try not to read abt the effects of my medications nymore bc i dont have a choice yknow#im really tired of it#i wish i had a more normal brain#or that the treatments at least help and arent so scary#wel welcome 2 todays like 20th breakdown (^: will hopefully be able 2 see a psychiatrist again soon n maybe finally get a med adjustment
9 notes · View notes