#when they find out it's reeve piloting the doll from afar

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest wednesday z! if sam and dean were dropped into ff7, which characters do you think they would get along with or not get along with?

happy wincest wednesday eve -- ty for indulging me both on doing the wincest wednesday thing and also for this hilarious crossover, lol. Talk about tones that do not mesh.

Which obv makes it better, haha. Like Dean would be just straight-up heckling Sephiroth and it would be DESERVED. Who's that portentous. Jesus. I guess in the same way that when they got dropped into Scooby Doo and suddenly could do scrambling cartoon runs and whatnot, tho, if they were dropped in FFVII they should also gain the equivalent of video game protagonist powers (and possibly hair -- Sam's suddenly even more shaggy and shiny, god help us). Dean doing weird gun kata shit bc that's just how it'd be in Midgar for him -- yeah, why not!

Things I believe to be true:

Dean and Barret would initially not get along at ALL and then Dean would be extremely gentlemanly and kind to Marlene (because he has another kind of superpowers) and then Barret would be like. Okay. We are now best friends. They could get drunk and yell at corporate sloganeering together.

Dean obviously hits on Tifa but it's just in like a friendly 'we are both super hot and there are rules here' way. She is sweet and rolls her eyes about it and then they're actually pretty platonic. Plus Dean respects a bartender, especially one who could decapitate you with a kick.

Sam initially thought he could hang with Vincent just for the quiet vibes, and also the 'hey, do you feel like your girlfriend got killed and there's something monstrous inside you' element, but... it turns out you can have too much in common with someone, and like, how do you even talk about that. He ends up getting along more with Cid. Sure, Cid's a dick and brash and drinks too much, but he's actually very sweet on the inside, and Sam's like 'wow, it's like Bobby's 30 years younger and feels strongly about tea.' (Dean and Cid argue about mechanic details and Dean's offended that he's not allowed to fly the Highwind. Sam hears the bitching about each other from both sides.)

They both can't stand Yuffie. Sam tries, but... fuck.

Aerith is obviously nice to them both, and flirts with them both in her sunny easy way, but there's a little wall there -- Aerith, angel-like, has this element to her that they can't touch, and she recognizes them both as touched by destiny too, and it's just... Sam says to Dean, one night, that she reminds him of Anna, and Dean agrees. (Although he doesn't have last night on earth sex with Aerith.) ((Aerith is out in a meadow one day when Sam goes for a walk, and she vaguely implies that she knows Sam and Dean are soulmates and that that must be nice, and Sam doesn't exactly know what to say because she seems so sad about it. But he carries the basket of herbs she picked, and helps her over the little river so she doesn't get her boots wet, and she smiles at him grateful and knowing and then sends him back to his brother.))

Cloud: neither of them know what to do with this fuckin guy. They don't respond well to Cool Loner Types. Plus Dean recognizes crazy when he sees it, and nudges Sam hard the first time Cloud has one of his Little Moments and Sam's like, ow, yes, I see it too. Still, after the whole... psychotic break thing (and after Aerith dies) I feel like they'd each be able to handle part of it -- Dean being apparently-callous 'let's deal with the logistics and problems in front of us' support; Sam being like, hey, if you want to talk about hallucinating your worst enemy I Am Your Guy. They would both also have a lot of sympathy for the, you know, mother dying in a fire set by the devil part.

Red XIII: Dean: "Holy shit, dude. They got their own Scooby Doo." Sam: "I'm pretty sure that's... really offensive. He's like... a member of an indigenous tribe or something, Dean." Dean: "Sam, he is a talking dog." Sam: "...Yeah, he is. But if you offer him a Scooby Snack I will not mop you up when he kills you."