#when the jar is full they have to donate it to their HOA so they're trying really hard to not add anything to it

[livwritesstuff]

“Papa has to put five dollars in the jar,” Hazel proudly announces the very moment she and Steve arrive home from her evening dance class.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie groans his place at the stove where he’s cooking dinner, “What’d you do this time?”

The Jar is actually a repurposed animal crackers container – the big plastic kind shaped like a bear. Most people think it’s a swear jar which, honestly, Steve and Eddie are fine with because that’s probably better than the reality of the situation – that they (it’s mostly Steve, actually) need a system to keep in check the petty fights they get into with practically everyone they know.

“I just–” Steve starts, and then he rolls his eyes, “I don’t get why some people have kids if they clearly don’t want to be part of their kids’ lives.”

“Little pitchers,” Eddie reminds him – as in little pitchers have big ears, as in their children hear everything they say, whether they want them to or not.

Steve ignores him.

“So her class was about to wrap up – they had, like, five minutes left – and they all came out of the room looking all excited and they said they wanted to show us their recital dance so far because they’re almost done learning it.”

“Sure,” Eddie comments.

“And this one kid is, like, rushing to put her shoes and coat on over her little tutu thing because her mom’s waiting in the car outside, and she goes to get her, and then, like, five minutes later she comes back inside in tears because her mom didn’t want to come in.”

Eddie shakes his head, equally unimpressed.

“Anyways, they do their little routine and – Ed, they were so excited, and they tripped over each other the entire time and none of them know what they’re doing and it’s so fucking cute, man. I have no idea how anyone wouldn’t want to watch that.”

“Right,” Eddie said slowly, because he knows Steve well enough to start piecing together where The Jar might come into play. 

“So when it was over,” Steve continues, “I walked the kid to her mom’s car and I told her that she missed a good show and that her daughter very obviously wanted her there.”

“Steve.”

“I really don’t think I did anything wrong,” Steve defended.

“Cough it up, big boy. Jar.”