#when it is ENTIRELY Joss's fault people think he's weak

[reachexceedinggrasp]

What do you think could’ve been a way to make Loki AA’s primary antagonist AND keep him in-character? Would’ve been my dream movie tbh

It wouldn’t take a huge amount even if you leave almost the entire plot the exact same. He could have been an infinitely more effective Big Bad, but that would be more structural work and that kind of major overhaul isn’t necessary if you just want him to be in character.

There is some stuff to work with. There’s already emphasis on him being in a very bad way physically and it’s already implied he suffered some kind of torture, so the most generous reading of the film as it exists is that Loki’s mental state is so poor that he isn’t in touch with reality. For example, when he says Thor threw him into an abyss- the charitable reading (and the only thing I think makes sense with TH’s acting choices) is that he genuinely doesn’t remember it accurately. His trauma and paranoia, spending however long in a void obsessing over what happened and trying to reconcile his own actions, spending however long being tortured, etc. have distorted his perception of events.

Now that he’s been forced to go on living, he can’t admit that he tried to kill himself. The whole reason he tried to kill himself is that he can’t cope with the reality of his situation and what he’s done- there’s nothing to live for in that moment of lucidity when he offers everything up to Odin and Odin rejects it.

So, lean into that way more. Make the coercion more explicit and take out all the stupid, wrong ‘you want daddy to make it better’ power speeches (fy JW), the ‘a throne, any throne, at any cost’ stuff, delete that awful (pointless anyway) scene with Black Widow, and give him an actual plan that makes sense from his pov. Have him still motivated by his desire to be a worthy son, a worthy prince of Asgard, and desperately trying to consolidate an identity of his own. He does not care about power, he never pursued power, what he wants is love, respect, belonging. He wants to prove that he is just as valuable as Thor.

He’s not a ‘full-tilt diva’ who wants his name on a building. Fame and adulation are not what he desires or what he’s missing. He’s missing self worth and a sense of place. He is a terrified and insecure emotional-child who absolutely loathes himself and has had every anxiety-thought he’s ever had apparently vindicated by reality. His meltdown came about because being the temperate and sensible one (his natural disposition) is inextricably linked with being ‘other’ and ‘less than’ in his life. He had thought the problem was Thor’s impulsive, arrogant behaviour overshadowing everything, needing to babysit his brother rather than accomplish anything on his own, and that his pragmatic approach to life was obviously superior- if only Odin would acknowledge him, but then he discovers he’s a monster and so they must have been right all along.

A very substantial part of his original motivation was also genuine concern for the realm. He’s diplomatic and relatively sober-minded until his very personal fear-buttons are being pushed; his anger is cool, only his hurt is hysterical. Nothing he ever does is done for no reason or just to make someone suffer (even his lies to Thor are intended to keep Thor from ever trying to return to Asgard, not solely to humble or wound him). He’s callous in pursuit of goals he considers very important (in an unthinking, I’m-royalty-this-is-the-fate-of-the-kingdom kind of way), but he’s not sadistic.

So to get him to act as the big bad, what makes sense? He has to think what he’s doing is necessary. He has to be able to justify it to himself as a greater good to cover the child-like, selfish, vulnerable primary motives; he does not want to be in charge and would never consider his own rule a ‘greater good��. He doesn’t consider collateral damage but doesn’t cause it on purpose, and he is only driven to direct, extreme actions by panic and desperation. He should be a cerebral villain (Joss thinks he is in AA, but he’s not), so he should be playing 3-dimensional chess and should have at least two apparently contradictory layers to his plan (as he does in Thor1, where is seems like he’s aligned himself with the Jotuns and will allow Laufey to kill Odin until it’s revealed his real plan was to lure Laufey to a vulnerable position and secure that total victory for Asgard Thor has been boasting he’ll get since they were children while also gaining an opportunity to personally rescue his father). He never stops adapting to changing circumstances, but his solutions are surreptitious and non-violent until he’s backed into a corner.

Therefore, a story where we think he’s just trying to usurp a world to find self-worth in ruling it for the first half (preferably one where he beats the shit out of Cap and Iron Man before allowing himself to be captured so the audience actually understands that he can and so he feels like an actually dangerous threat to the heroes), but it’s revealed that he’s really playing a triple cross. He is trying to prove himself to Odin and be vindicated, but he’s doing it by deliberately conning Thanos out of the Tesseract and protecting Midgard from harm; controlling and negating the invasion from within. He managed all this so he could be a ‘defender of mortals’ as Odin and Thor are, so he can take home a powerful artefact like Odin did the Casket of Ancient Winters. Planning to drop these spoils at his father’s feet while pretending he didn’t orchestrate the entire situation. Like Thor1, this plan could essentially succeed completely even while parts of it blow up in his face and he struggles to keep believing it’s worth it, and the point is that his parameters aren’t acceptable, it’s not okay to use whole planets as pawns, etc. and the heroes have to thwart him right as it’s coming together.

So instead of randomly disappearing leaving everything necessary to defeat him lying around unguarded and being completely superfluous to the climax as he is in the actual film, there is a meaningful fight with emotional stakes. Instead of Our Heroes vs Organic Battle Droids for forty minutes, there is a genuine conflict and genuine tension. Loki remains consistent and very sympathetic while still being a major existential threat. The film doesn’t slap him around as comic relief or render him pathetic when you’re still supposed to fear him, he doesn’t become a ridiculous cartoon misogynist space Nazi, he doesn’t feel like a total damp squib of a villain who really didn’t merit the big team up.

[sohotthateveryonedied]

My Review of Joss Whedon’s Terrible Wonder Woman Script 

I’ve seen a lot of posts about how bad Joss Whedon’s original script for Wonder Woman was, and I just had to read it for myself. And...boy was that a bad idea. This thing was atrcocious. I’m pretty sure my eyes are still bleeding. So please, because I can’t seem to suppress my rage at this, enjoy a super long post about how incredibly Bad this screenplay was. 

Warning: I’m gonna be cursing a lot because this was one of the worst things I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading in my life. Enjoy! 

Let me begin by saying that this entire screenplay is basically about Steve Trevor and what a burden it is on him to have to save the world and deal with Diana the whole time. What a fucking tragedy. If I wanted to watch a misogynistic movie about a man being weighed down by unfairly-written women, I’d watch literally any other movie in Hollywood. 

Not to mention that it doesn’t even include anything about Diana’s backstory? Like, at all? It basically begins with Steve’s plane crash because apparently he’s the most important character in this movie despite it being called Wonder Woman. My deduction is that Joss has no idea who Wonder Woman is and didn’t want to read the comics because he was afraid of what reading something about a woman hero would do to his masculinity, so he decided to just wing it and ignore her backstory completely. 

Also wow, it’s plain within the first few lines of dialogue that Steve is reduced to nothing but a sarcastically jerkface, such is the tragedy of all characters who have the misfortune of being written by Joss Whedon. Makes me wonder if maybe, just maybe, misogynistic assholes shouldn’t write movies because their characters will end up like them? Just a thought? 

Okay one: WHY IS STEVE TRYING TO MAKE HER FEEL GUILTY FOR DOING LITERALLY NOTHING WRONG?? Gee, sorry if her curiosity about the world is such an inconvenience to you, what a terrible offense. I had no idea insults were the newest form of flattery. I should have known that women actually enjoy being insulted, because of course Joss Whedon knows more about what women like than I, an actual woman, would. How silly of me. 

“‘‘Let’s keep in touch’ is American for get the hell out of my face.’” WHAT?? THE FUCK??? WHY IS HE BEING SUCH A JERK??? She saved your goddamn life and you repay her by rudely shoving her out because she’s such an annoyance despite your unfortunate situation of being executed tomorrow. Cry me a freaking river. He is in no position to be anything less than grateful that she saved his sorry life in the first place. 

Not only is he insulting her mother, he’s also using “Princess” as an insult, which is such a douchey thing to do?? And the fact that despite his knowledge that she is clearly an incredible fighter and stronger than he’ll ever be, he still thinks she’s not strong enough to take on the real world. Who is this man because this is NOT Steve Trevor this is some monster and from now on his name is Stupid Terrible and I don’t know him. If Joss wanted to make a movie about an asshole saving the world with his sidekick girlfriend, then go make that garbage heap on your own. Don’t sacrifice our Wonder Woman movie to do it. 

Oh yes, that’s right, Joss, have someone call Diana a whore. Because that’s obviously what feminists love to see in movies. *Looks into office camera* 

It’s funny that despite not being a woman, Joss Whedon seems to think he knows how we want to see ourselves depicted in movies. Newsflash, Joss! You’re not doing it right. 

I.

I CAN’T.

I NEVER THOUGHT I’D EVER IN MY LIFE HAVE TO READ ABOUT DIANA BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP BY STEVE TREVOR AND GETING SHOT ON THE SAME PAGE.

WHAT, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, THE FUCK.

WHAT RIGHT DOES STUPID TERRIBLE HAVE TO TELL HER TO SHUT UP? THE REAL STEVE TREVOR WOULD NEVER THINK OF DOING THAT BECAUSE HE IS AN ACTUAL GENTLEMAN AND NOT SOME ASSHOLE WHO WANTS DIANA TO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET BECAUSE SHE’S IN THE WAY OF HIS FRAGILE MASCULINITY. 

STEVE AND DIANA’S RELATIONSHIP IS ONE OF MUTUAL LOVE AND RESPECT, AND JOSS IS AN IDIOT FOR EVER SUGGESTING OTHERWISE. 

“An outfit skimpier than Diana’s.”

“An outfit skimpier than Diana’s.”

“An outfit skimpier than Diana’s.”

Do I really need to comment on this one? 

And what a surprise, Diana is being called a bitch. Someone should play a drinking game with this where every time someone calls Diana a disrespectful name everyone takes a shot. Guarantee they’d all be blackout drunk by the end of the movie, since words that degrade women are the only ones in Whedon’s vocabulary. 

Yeah that’s right, tell Diana what she can and can’t handle, that’s a good idea.

Also.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

!!!!!!!

Why is she literally naked for the entire next scene so Stupid Terrible can patch her up even though the real Diana collapsed a building by smashing into it and was completely fine and even had a cute dance with Steve right after? Diana would never be debilitated by something like that, but I guess according to Joss Whedon’s image, Diana is a weak damsel in distress who is in over her head and needs a strong male to help her overcome her fragile feminine obstacles and fix her when she’s broken. And I’ll bet you all the five dollars and forty cents in my wallet that had this horrific script actually made it on camera, there would no doubt be tons of side boob shots because, as everyone knows, movies exist only so men can see half-naked women. 😒

Just this whole page is so gross I physically cringed when I read it and screamed into my pillow. 

Oh look everybody, it’s time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for: The time in the movie when the Man must tell the woman what he thinks she is because of course he knows her better than she knows herself despite only knowing her for a few days.

And don’t forget to feel bad for the poor Male because sadly, his attraction to her is such a burden to him and she should stop being so distracting because it’ll get in the way of his manliness. 

And oh, what’s that I hear? The sound of Stupid Terrible hilariously admitting he is secretly hoping for her to flash him? Oh, well of course that’s just comic relief, obviously not contributing at all to rape culture or how men believe it is their right to see women as sex objects and sex objects only.

No problem, just laugh and agree that it’s the funniest thing in the whole world that his priority is seeing Diana naked, rather than be disgusted by the fact that Joss Whedon literally typed this page out and decided it was good enough to include in this god awful script.

Please note the fact that Diana and Stupid Terrible being rejected from the club contributes nothing to the plot whatsoever. Joss just got it in his head that the best idea was to add in a situation with the bouncer just so he could remind the audience that Diana is “fine” and it’s the only way she will ever be allowed anything.

What an inspiring message to little girls who came to see a movie where someone like them could be a hero. Sorry kids, apparently, according to the wise Joss Whedon, women can only get what they want if they are attractive enough to earn it. Thanks, Joss, go burn in hell you pig 😊

(Also, Diana being called a bitch yet again, but what else is new.)

Not only is Diana being called a bitch for I don’t even know what number time, but this guy is taunting her by calling her scared and crazy and sad. So far, nothing in this entire garbage heap of a script has included anything that depicts Wonder Woman as wonderful. 

They may as well rename the movie Pathetic Woman or, if you want some better alliteration, Weak Woman, with the way this is going.

This scene.

May this scene please burn in the depths of Tartarus for eternity.

What, pray tell, is the fUCKING POINT OF THIS? WE HAVE DIANA SEXY DANCING HERE FOR WHAT EXACTLY? SO JOSS GETS THE CHANCE TO DESCRIBE ALL THE CAPTIVATING WONDERS OF A WOMAN’S BODY BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE’LL NEVER ACTUALLY GET TO SEE ONE UP CLOSE SINCE HE IS SUCH TRASH THAT NO SELF RESPECTING WOMAN WOULD WANT HIM??

Please,, someone,,, just pick up a sniper and take me out right now. I can’t read another line or I’m afraid my eyes will melt.

Though you know what, on second thought maybe I shouldn’t get my brains blown out because judging by this script, Joss would probably just find it sexy and include it in his next movie.

Here’s a delightful example of Stupid Terrible making the misguided assumption that blaming Diana for everything that goes wrong and telling her she does nothing but create chaos is a good idea.

Here’s the deal, people. Telling someone they’re a failure and everything is their fault? Yup, not as good an idea as you may think it is.

Now, dear reader, you maybe be asking yourself right about now, Why isn’t it clear to other people that what he’s saying is awful and he should stop being an asshole and respect Diana’s ability to make her own decisions?

Excellent question!

You see, my friends, that’s the thing about Whedon Science. You notice how he slipped in that Wise™ and Insightful™ elephant and mouse analogy in the middle of his (probably menstruation-caused) pissy rant? The logic of Whedon Science clearly states that by throwing in an intelligent analogy that somewhat applies to the situation, it reverses his argument completely and shows that clearly his rant is meant to be an inspiring pep talk to push Diana to be the best she can be, rather than a gross speech intended to tear down her confidence. Isn’t science fun, kids?

And oh, the dreaded feelings. Here we’ve got Stupid being the Cool and Mysterious character by treating his feelings like a dreaded disease that will kill him on contact.

Though you know what’ll kill him faster? Me when I murder Stupid Terrible with a bulldozer for telling Diana she doesn’t know what it means to be human and she doesn’t belong in the real world.

I can’t even with this part. What kind of human being writes something like this? 

Here we have the great and powerful Male Character ranting angrily because right now his feelings are so passionate and important that they must be yelled into Diana’s face, threateningly enough to scare her. 

Now I don’t know what this reminds you of, but to me it sounds a lot like what one would picture domestic abuse as. It seems that Joss apparently thinks it’s okay for men to show women who’s the boss by intimidating them into submission. That’s emotional abuse right there, and I will tell you right now that MY Steve Trevor would never even think of doing this to Diana. Ever.

He wouldn’t yell in her face to inform her on what she isn’t capable of. He wouldn’t make her feel like trash and like she should just go back to Themyscira so she can’t mess anything else up. And he definitely, without a doubt, would never ever call her a Fucking. Tourist.

What’s an action movie without a female protagonist being groped by some disgusting perve.

And can I just say that it’s bad enough Joss spent the whole screenplay making Diana seem like nothing but a sexy prop. But now he has the audacity to compare her to a “plague dog” and make aforementioned perve toss her away for fear of catching disease?? This isn’t what we wanted when we demanded you stop treating female characters like they exist only to be desirable, Joss. Nowhere close.

*cups hands around mouth* PRINCESS DIANA AND THE REST OF THE AMAZONS CAN SPEAK HUNDREDS OF LANGUAGES YOU IGNORANT SWINE

*sigh* I don’t even have the energy for the his one. Fuck you, Joss Whedon 🖕

Why???

This entire screenplay was filled with Diana doing incredible feats that Stupid Terrible didn’t believe she could do, but she proved him wrong anyway. So of course when she tells him she can fly, his immediate thought is “Of course you can’t fly, that would be crazy.” Here’s an idea. Maybe...don’t have male characters constantly tell women what they are and aren’t capable of?  

.

So yes, this script is garbage. Every time I watch the real Wonder Woman movie, I thank my lucky stars that Patty Jenkins exists and took over this project and made it amazing. 

Though I have to say, the fact that Whedon is still planned to direct Batgirl is worse than Hitler being a fashion designer. I would rather have no Batgirl movie at all than have this guy do it. This is the same guy who made Diana sexy dance for no reason and called her a bitch at least three or four times. If Joss directs Batgirl, I guarantee there will be at least one naked scene, sexual tension between Barbara and Bruce, she’ll have an estranged relationship with her dad because according to Whedon, women aren’t capable of loving familial relationships, and she will definitely be in too over her head at some point and need Batman to save her, after which he’ll yell at her because she’s not fit to be a hero. And that’s just off the top of my head. 

So yeah. Fuck you, Whedon. 😊