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#when im on my walks i get so sad bc i've fantasized a million times abt going on different kinds of walks with him
bunnihearted
ยท
2 months
Text
๐ โงโห โ
#i know im way too intense and melodramatic
#but i keep feeling so sad and starting to cry constantly bc everything reminds me of him
#like when im outside and feel the breeze against me all i can think is how i'll never walk next to him and know what his hand feels in mine
#when im going on an errand i think of im never gonna do it with him and feel his hand on the small of my back
#and turn my head to look up at him while we're talking abt anything and everything
#when im on my walks i get so sad bc i've fantasized a million times abt going on different kinds of walks with him
#but now i dont even have the hope that i'll ever get to go on a walk with him and point at all the birds i see
#or show him the snails i find :c or talk to him or walk in comfortable silence
#when it rains .. he reminds me of rain and i feel so sad bc i'll never be held or hold him while it rains outside
#when im in the grocery store all i can think abt is how he will never occupy the empty space around me
#i'll never get to walk up next to him while he browses a shelf and grab his arm and pull him close to me
#i'll never get to put my arms around his waist and feel him pull me close and rest my head against his shoulder
#it's all i can think abt....
#when i read a book or watch a show i wanna talk to him abt it. when smth happens i want to tell him
#i wont ever get to cook for him or take care of him or listen to his worries and try to be there for him
#i'll never get to play video games or watch movies with him
#the loss of him hurts so bad bc it's just him him him for me (i know it cant be anymore i know) but no one is him
#i keep wondering what he'd think of this or that or just like literally everything
#i dont know.. i just keep crying bc i think of it all the time and it hurts so bad bc ???
#also he's the only one i've felt safe and comfortable showing certain sides of aspect of myself. i never thought it was possible but w him
#it was. so idk i feel so hollow on my own account lol... i feel selfish bc ofc i care abt him and want him to be happy but i hurt sm too so
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