#when i'm not around' bECAUSE SHE CAN DEDUCE WHAT'LL HAPPEN AFTERWARD BUTS ITS ASSUMPTION

[zorkaya-moved]

❛   i like myself better when i’m with you.  ❜  ( mammon )

@xamassed

Mammon was many things. He could also be many things. His brothers would speak one way, then others would speak the other, and then there was Zarina Sokolova herself, who saw a completely different viewpoint. A fresh look at the Avatar of Greed, finding those small tidbits that she was confused about how others would forget. He is the representation of Greed; there were no attempts to forget that or deny that. Greed was a familiar sensation, but it became all the more familiar. All the more intimate and well-known.

Who would've expected that greed would make its way into her expression of love? To have his attention on her, to have him touch her, to have him say her name, to have him love her. Was it too selfish? Was she too overbearing? No, she wasn't as obnoxious to not notice that. However, she also knew her love was like a broken dam, which then caused the flood of a new emotion to nourish her frigid soul and melt it enough to have this tenderness become so unequivocally strong and genuine. 

Did he know that his eyes shined when he spoke about one of his schemes? Did he know that he had that cocky smirk whenever he'd think about how proud he is of something he'd done? Did he know that he laughed differently when he was actually finding something funny or just laughed because it was a better thing to do? Did he know that he makes a face when his brothers speak such harsh words to him? Did he know she could see all of that? 

Undoubtedly, Zarina watched him akin to a hawk, befitting her last name's meaning. But it still left her surprised when he'd tell her that one sentence. 

Liked himself better when he was with her? She noticed that his behavior changed over the course of their time spent together. Not only that, but she also noticed what others didn't when it came to his emotions, his balance, his warmth. Out of all, he was the only one wh had eough warmth and determination to melt the iceberg that was her stubborness. Zarina simply judged his character correctly, falling in love despite the words spoken about him. 

Did he really... find that time spent in her company made him better? 

"I want you to like yourself more when I'm not around," she enjoys sitting so close to him when they watch movies or relax. Zarina squeezes his hand just a bit as she opens her eyes. It's too comfortable to have her head rest on his shoulder, too comfortable to let the scent of his cologne lull her to this dreamscape and to have his voice sound so close to her ears. "I may not agree with some of your schemes and may be strict, but... I know you have a heart of gold, Mammon. Warm, attentive, emotional, and glimmering under the Moon of Devildom. I'm glad that you feel comfortable... by my side. Not everyone does when they learn more." Everyone preferred the warmth of the fake Sun instead of the true Moon.

Did she have to get poetic? Forgive her, it was her way of expressing her thoughts and painting a better picture. 

"And I too..." Zarina smiles; her words are now laced with tenderness and warmth that others do not hear with such intensity. It's obvious there is love in her speech. Even her words about wanting to love himself more when she's not around is a way for her to remind him that he's himself and she wants him to love himself even more. "I like myself more when I'm with you. You made my dream come true, and you showed me that... I'm capable of something my younger self never expected to experience." 

He made her feel more human. Strange, wasn't it? For a demon to make her feel more human. However, when one lived a life like she did, the sin of acedia ate her from the inside, rendering her hollow and void where lies would act as fillers. But now? Mammon's hand in her, his presence by her side, and his colorful personality were all she would ever require to be reminded that she's still indeed a human being. 

"I can't believe I got so lucky... with you." 

Did Mammon know that he was her treasure? Her star in the night sky. No, he was her Sun. So bright, so brilliant, so warm.