#when i'm called approachable right off the bat. and i dont like being taken for granted as ''non-threatening''; it's not a compliment to me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

psalmsofpsychosis · 6 months ago

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i love waking up and being me because i be out there interacting with people in the most ordinary and uneventful way possible and still the most innocent well-intentioned remark could set me the fuck off. A stranger guy (very normal and non-threatening) come over to make conversation and told me "there's something very calm about you which kind of makes you pretty approachable," aaaaaaand boom. Now i'm in 89% defense mood and ready to snap your neck in half if you look at me a certain way.

#and this is fucking hilarious to me because he's right! I know it!#my general vibe irl can be interpreted as calm and personable it is something that i know about myself #but also i do not want to read as approachable. It makes me feel defanged and infantalised and cheap #when i'm called approachable right off the bat. and i dont like being taken for granted as ''non-threatening''; it's not a compliment to me #to be seen as easy by people who i dont know and dont want to be ''easy'' with #(no offence whatsoever to the people who love being approachable; i have nothing against it; it's just a me thing)#i've always always hated being talked to with insincere soft words #''you're so sweet'' ''you're so cute'' ''you're seem friendly'' ''you seem approachable''#i could effectively make you throw up the name of every one of your ancestors that abandoned you before you even existed #and i'm mean enough to not care about it while i do it. Dont call me cute first thing;#cute only means something when you have the balls to acknowledge that i'm a fucking threat.#is this different with women? not likely. It's just generally demeaning when i'm called approachable unless i like the person #and want them in my space #but also all this and i know that the guy meant well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ there was objectively nothing to it #and i get yikesy about it waaay less than say. when i was 20 #at 20 calling me cute was the surest way to get punched free of charge #and now i can actually rest in my own sweetness and be soft without getting cought in the discomfort of its vulnurability #but it still sets me off so fast

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