#when i say she's literally most annoying idiot I've ever met i mean it

[curiousstrawberry]

My stupid ass coworker is such over active idiot. Bitch, you are ruining shit for rest of us. Nobody's gonna fuck you if you stay at work in terrible noise and dust. But thanks for making it more difficult for me <3

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Aidlyn oneshot - It's Not Romantic, I Swear.

Requested by ServingDumbassBlonde on AO3 <3

Ashlyn felt like she was about to have her brain explode. She was texting Taylor with big, long, ranting paragraphs (which is nothing like her at all).

-Ashlyn: I don't know what to do, Taylor. He won't get out of my head and I really want to punch a wall, but, like, in a good way?? But also in a panicky way. I've never felt panicky and now I'm angry because I feel panicky and now I'm angry at Aiden because HIS DUMB FACE WON'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

-Taylor: Holy crap.. Ashlyn.. I think you have a crush on Aiden!

Ashlyn fumbled as she read the message, nearly dropping her phone but catching it just on time. A crush? On Aiden, of all people?! No. Absolutely not. That is ridiculous, stupid, and most of all, DUMB.

-Ashlyn: No I do not! Aiden is so annoying and loud and has no sense of personal space. Plus, I've never had a crush. Ever. And I intend for it to stay that way forever.

Taylor couldn't help but giggle at Ashlyn's texts. It's so unlike her. Usually she would just text things like "OK" or "👍" or "Don't be idiots" or "Have you done the homework?". Nothing like this. Taylor likes this side of Ashlyn. Vulnerable and more like a human who has immovable patience and levelheadedness.

-Taylor: Ashlyn, I think you should just think about it for a bit. Has Aiden ever done or said anything to you that made you see him in a different light?

Ashlyn sadly had several moments she could think of. Aiden saving her from a phantom and holding her close, Aiden checking if she was OK in the hospital and brushing her hand with his, Aiden nudging her foot in the living room before going to bed when she was busy being stressed, Aiden just... being there.

But Ashlyn couldn't say that. Hell. No.

-Ashlyn: I'm going to bed.

She shut off her phone and slammed it on her nightstand, hiding her face in the pillows. She still had a couple of hours until she and the others will be in the phantom dimension. And she knew she won't be able to sleep until then.

Taylor couldn't help but giggle at the final message. She's such a cat Taylor thought.

"Hey, Tay," Tyler says, stepping into their shared bedroom. He had a new pair of black studs in his ears after re-piercing them with Aiden (who had literally begged him nonstop for entire week to pierce his ears for him).

"Ohhh, nice new earrings!" Taylor said, doing a silly wolf whistle, getting an eye roll out of him.

"Thanks. Anyways, can I borrow your phone?"

"Sure. But what for?"

"Mine is dead and I need to text Aiden proper piercing maintenance before he gets an ear infection in the first night."

Taylor chuckled as she handed him her phone. "Is that even possible?"

"With him? Probably."

Tyler opens up his sister's phone and is met with a text conversation between her and Ashlyn. Usually, Tyler wouldn't care. Why would he? Ashlyn is just blunt and annoying. But this was something he couldn't help but get curious about. Ashlyn was sending huge, long paragraphs of some sort of rant. Very unlike her. This he had to see. So what if that made him a snoop?

He read through the messages quickly and felt his jaw drop. Taylor looked over and noticed her brother's expression. "What's with that look?"

"Ashlyn likes Aiden?!"

Taylor screams and snatches her phone away. "Don't read my conversations!"

"Holy shit, is she brain dead?!"

"Don't be so mean! I think that they're adorable!"

"Of course you do!"

"Ugh! Just get out!"

"But I sleep in here!"

"I don't care! Tonight I get both bunks! Now, shoo!"

Tyler rolled his eyes, still dumbfounded as he stepped out of the room. Seriously, Ashlyn likes Aiden? What awful taste, really.

He settles onto the couch and Taylor gets on the bottom bunk. Simultaneously, all 6 of them fell asleep together.

The 6 of them met where they left off last night. They were in their camp. A phantom had somehow managed to get through and now they were trying to find where it could have come from.

"I think it's west," Ashlyn says as they catch up with each other.

"I agree with Ashlyn!" Aiden says, looking over at her with a smile that said 'I only say this because Ashlyn said it'. He often had this look when she speaks.

Ashlyn averts her eyes and hunches over slightly, hating, hating, hating whatever this was. Ugh! He trusts her so much and so fully, it made her sickeningly happy. It didn't help that he had new piercings that she thought he looks weirdly good in and UGH STOP IT, BRAIN.

Tyler felt like gagging at the two lovebirds. "It can't be west. All the lights are working there. It has to be south. The lights are dimming there."

Ashlyn narrows her eyes at him and takes a step forward. "It couldn't be south, either. The walls are way too solid over there for anything like that. And dim lights or not, it still deters the phantoms. West is also closer to the trees, where the phantoms could have more shade."

Tyler glares at her. "No way it's west. It would make no sense for it to be there. Logan is patrolling there all the time."

"He could've missed something."

"No way. He has way too sharp of an eye for that."

Logan felt like interjecting here. "I could have totally missed something, Tyler."

"No, it just makes no logical sense. It has to be the south."

The two began to yell at one another, and Tyler resulted to yelling out of pure frustration, "You have no right to think you're smart about anything, you literally have a crush on Aiden!"

The entire group went quiet and Tyler immediately regretted his words. He had gone too far. He has a bad habit of not thinking before he speaks.

Everyone stared at Ashlyn and Aiden had to suck in a breath to try and slow his heartbeat as best as possible.

"I.. I do... I don't.." But Ashlyn was an awful liar. Her red face wasn't helping, either. "I don't!" she yells again, looking at the rest of the group.

Taylor looked absolutely guilt ridden and Tyler looked like he wanted to jump off a cliff because he felt so awkward and angry with himself.

Ashlyn then looks at Aiden, who is just staring. And that just makes this all the worse!

"I... UGH!" She storms away from the rest, flipping the bird at Tyler, which is probably the most irrationally angry anyone had ever seen her.

Aiden was about to go after her, but Taylor puts a hand on his shoulder. "Give her some space."

But Aiden felt like her had to talk to her. If this was true, if this was real, then... then everything would be.. it could be... he had to see if this was true. He had to. But he knew Taylor was right.

So, for the rest of the night, the group inspected both walls, and came to the finding that Ashlyn was in fact correct about her suspicions of the west wall, which made Tyler feel even worse.

The next day, at school, Ashlyn didn't show up.

"Should I text her?" Aiden asked. He really, really wanted to talk to her. To see her face. Hear her voice. Her her say it herself. The words that he so desperately wants to hear are true.

But Taylor just shook her head. "Just leave her be. My stupid brother seriously hurt her pride."

"But what's so pride-hurting about liking me?" Aiden asked, trying to make it sound like a joke, but deep inside he was hurting that the mere idea of her liking him could be some shameful, humiliating thing.

"Probably because you're annoying," Tyler said bluntly.

"Ty!"

"Sorry, sorry, I'll shut up.."

Taylor let's out a sigh and turns back to Aiden. "It's just that.. you know how she likes to be in complete control of how she feels and stuff. She doesn't like not being in control. So being alone will give her a sense of control over her life. So let's give her that."

Aiden slumped in his chair, Ben giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

That night when they all fell asleep, Ashlyn busied herself with work, avoiding everyone else, especially Aiden. This was really starting to annoy him. He tried to follow her around as she was reloading riffles, fixing lights, and whatever else she could do. But he just couldn't keep up with her.

At school, she showed up, but sat at a different desk.

Seriously!? Let me talk to you! Aiden thought, absolutely miserable. He hated this! He hated it so much. He wanted to hear her say it. To hear if it was true. Please, please let it be true. The more time goes on, the more painful it gets.

Ashlyn didn't even show up at lunchtime.

"You're a complete idiot," Taylor said, looking over at her brother.

"I'm sorry, ok! I've sent hundreds of messages to Ash apologizing and she hasn't responded once!"

"I can't blame her!"

Aiden stands up, hating to hear the fighting any longer.

"Tyler," he says. "You are stupid. Really stupid. But you may have helped me out."

"Huh-?" But before Tyler could say anything, Aiden was sprinting out of the cafeteria in search of Ashlyn. Ben tried to reach out and grab him to stop him, but just missed.

Aiden zoomed through the halls, looking in every possible place she could be, narrowly avoiding teachers who would scold him and waist his time.

He ran up the stairs, looking in all the empty classrooms, clubs rooms, anywhere. He ran past the dance studio, where he heard music.

He stopped in his tracks and looked at the door. He very slowly approached it before peaking in. There he saw a figure.

She was moving fast, her body angry and thrashing while still keeping its elegant form, landing each jump and pirouette with rageful grace. Her hair was like a blazing fire, spinning around her form like the flames wanted to eat her alive.

Ashlyn.

Aiden opened the door, the creaking of it immediately made her stop and she whipped her head around to face him. Immediately, she looked like a cornered wild animal, ready to pounce to escape.

"Ashlyn. Can we please talk?"

She doesn't say anything as she looks around for any sort of escape.

"Please. I think I have the right to know what's going on?"

"Shut up," she spits out. This is the first time he's heard her speak in days. It was like music to his ears.

"Please, cmon. Yknow I never get this serious."

She clenched her fists, shaking angrily as she turns away. "What do you want?"

"I just.. wanna make sure you're ok."

"I'm fine!" she yells. "Happy?"

He laughs and tilts his head to observe her. "You don't look it."

"I.. ugh! I.. am fine. I'm fine! I'm in complete control and I'm not on the verge of punching someone in the face or on the verge of crying or anything like that! I AM FINE!"

He takes a step forward, trying to remain slow. He pulls his hoodie over his head and tightly pulls the string, the hoodie overtaking his face.

"I don't see anything," he says.

Such a goofy, Aiden way to show that he cares. Damnit..

She sucks in a breath and lets out a scream of frustration. She might be crying. That was weird. She never does. Why now?

"Damnit, damnit! I've never felt like this and I don't know how to handle it. All my nerves are in fight or flight. Everything is exciting but scary and I hate it!" she yells, kicking the wall.

He nods along to her words, keeping his eyes blinded with his hoodie as not to embarass her.

"And for some reason.. Some reason.. I like you. I think. Ugh! You won't get out of my head. I want you to comfort me and I want to squeeze you so tight that you suffocate. And in a good way!"

Aiden goes completely quiet now. She said it. She actually said it. And so matter-of-factly. Wow.. But he had to keep his cool, for her sake.

Aiden stays silent as she takes in deep, slow breaths before saying, "Can I look now?"

She pauses before answering with, "No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because-!" she stops herself. Because she's so embarrassed and if she were to see his stupid, stupid face right now, she might just crumble. She might just melt. She might just completely fall in love.

He takes a step forward, a small one since he can't see where he's going. "Ash." His voice is muffled through the fabric.

"Stop it.." she says, covering her ears in defiance.

"I like you," he says.

"Shut up."

"Haha!"

She grabs his hoodie and pulls it down. He sees her face. Her eyes are down and her face is redder than her hair. She looks almost ashamed.

"I don't know what I'm doing," she says, frowning deeply.

"I don't either!" he says with a wide smile.

He takes her hand, and she lets him. She doesn't know why.

"I like you," he says again.

"I heard you the first time."

"Can you say it again, then?"

"No."

He laughs, his shoulders shaking from his own nervousness, but also his joy. "That's ok. Take your time."

[dandyshucks]

1300 words of Guz being a goofy goober about his feelings for Junebug ∑ദ്ദി˙◡･)

~

Guzma drags his hand through his hair, growling in frustration.

Plumeria laughs, though not unkindly. “Guz, what's the issue, man? You're being a fucking clod about this.”

He growls again, and gestures with both hands. “They're just so goddamn soft!”

“I thought you liked that,” she says with a smirk.

“I do! It's just -” he groans, pacing back and forth. “How do I do this, y'know? They're too fuckin’ soft and I'm a big fuckin’ brute who's gonna end up hurtin’em! I don't think they even like me like that. And honestly, I don't blame ‘em.” He sinks into a chair with a sigh, covering his face with both hands.

“I'm gonna be honest with you, alright?”

“Shoot."

“You're being a fucking idiot right now.”

Guzma scoffs. “If you were me, you'd be feeling this exact same way.”

“Okay, fair, but I'm not you. I can see the situation clearly, and I can clearly see you're being unbelievably thick about this.”

“Y’just don't get it, Plumes."

She snorts. “Yeah, sure. I'm the one who's lost here.”

Sinking further into the chair, he bemoans, “I just don't think I got any shot at this. You're right, I'm a big fuckin’ numbskull and I'm gonna fuck this all up!”

“Guzma,” she says, rolling her eyes and standing up, “I didn't say you're going to fuck things up. You will if you keep acting stupid like this, but even then I don't think Juno’s going to leave. Have you seen how they act around you? They light up like a goddamn Lanturn when they see you! Half the team has caught onto it by now, oblivious as they all are.” She sighs. “Honestly I'd just appreciate if you got this over with so I can stop getting on everyone's asses about leaving you two the hell alone. You know how many threats I've had to dole out the past couple months?”

The man's face flushes. “Fuck,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “M’sorry, Plumes.”

“You should be.” She places a hand on her hip, staring down at him, one eyebrow raised. “So what's the plan?”

He sighs. “I don't think I can do it.”

Plumeria’s head falls back and she groans. “You're fucking killing me!”

He protests, “I just don't think they like me like that! They probably just like me as the team’s boss! I mean, who wouldn't get excited about spendin’ time with ya boy! I'm a goddamn delight!”

“Guzma, you literally just told me how you're a huge idiot.”

“A delightful idiot!”

She pinches the bridge of her nose. “You're the most annoying person I've ever met.”

“And yet, you love me,” he says, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back, composure restored.

Shaking her head with a smile, she pulls one of the chairs over to sit on, facing Guzma head-on. “How about this: you tell me exactly why this wouldn't work, and I'll tell you just how stupid you're being.”

“Ain't that what we've been doing?”

“Let's get into specifics here. Tell me exactly why this wouldn't work.” She leans forward, elbows on her knees.

Guzma huffs. “Aight, aight.” He brings his arms down, unconsciously mirroring her position, nervously wringing his hands. “It wouldn't work because… well, I said it earlier, didn't I? I'm a big brutish idiot and they're this soft little….” He searches for the right word. “They’re like a sweet little Cutiefly and I'm some clumsy ass Kleavor!”

Plumeria resists the urge to laugh. Guzma and his bug-types….

“All the people I've had flings with, y'know, they've all been these kinda shitty tourists who just want a taste of something big and bad, and I can give ‘em that, easy. It's fun, sure, and I know they're gonna leave in a couple weeks so I'll never have to see ‘em again. So it doesn't matter if I end up being a stupid jerk. They expect it anyway; that's what they're lookin’ for, right? Just helps keep up the reputation of Team Skull, buncha scary thugs just taking what they want when they want it.” He exhales, looking off to the side with a frown. “And then along comes this shy little trainer, lost outside Po Town in the dark, and they're so fuckin’ soft, Plumes. They're different from anyone I ever seen around here, y'know? Warmer or something.” He chuckles. “Stupid thing to say maybe, considerin’ Sinnoh’s so fuckin’ cold. Did ya know they got a couple spots over there that have snow all year?” He shakes his head, eyebrows raised. “Fucking wild.”

Plumeria smiles, tilting her head. “Alright, so they're different from your one- or two-night stands. That's pretty obvious. But what's so difficult about them being different? Honestly, I'd say it's a massive improvement.”

Guzma huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I know ya don't like the tourists I've brought in. I don't even like ‘em half the time, but they were good for a bit of easy fun.” He pauses, face turning to something like disgust, before shaking himself out and sitting up. “That ain't happening anymore, though. I'm done with all that, at least as long as Juno’s around.”

“You haven't answered my question.”

“I was getting there!” Plumeria raises an eyebrow, and Guzma rolls his eyes. “It's difficult, cuz now I care. There. Happy? Ya boy cares about someone other than himself, ooh, shock and awe.”

She smiles and says, “I know you care about people, Guz. I see it with the team. And I know you care about me, you knucklehead.” She punches his knee lightly. “I don't think you have anything to worry about, though. Have you really not seen how Juno acts around you compared to the rest of us?”

Guzma smiles wrily. “But I'm the boss, y'know? ‘Course they're gonna act different around me. The grunts act different around me an’ you than how they act when they think I'm not looking.”

Plumeria drags a hand down her face. “But Juno doesn't act like they're talking to a fucking workplace manager, Guzma. They act like you're a safe haven, like you're some sort of guardian angel.”

He makes a strangled noise, and his face flushes again. “That ain't right, they don't think all that,” he sputters.

“I didn't say I know what they're thinking!” She throws her hands into the air in exasperation. “But I have a pretty damn good idea just from the way they look at you!”

Guzma rubs his cheek, looking off to the side, trying to hide his face from his best friend. “They wouldn't think that,” he mumbles, muffled by his hand.

“You're exhausting me, bud. I'm going to say it one more time and then I have to go make sure Tupp and Zipp aren't setting fire to something they shouldn't be. I assume you heard they got their hands on a Torkoal a couple days ago?” At his blank expression, she lets out a long suffering sigh. “Whatever, I'll deal with it.” She stands up and stretches languidly. Looking back down at him, she says, “Here's the deal: Juno likes you, dude. It's really, really obvious. And the rest of the team is going to start being real obnoxious about it if you don't act quick to break this tension the two of you have going on. I can only keep them behaving for so long.”

At this, Guzma slumps in his chair. He stays quiet.

“You're going to have to deal with this at some point,” Plumeria says, before walking out of the room. “Might as well make it soon!” she calls over her shoulder.

Guzma groans loudly at her in response, before raising a hand to his cheek again. It's still warm, he's still flushed. Fuck. He lays his head down on the table beside him, arms folded under his forehead, obscuring his face from anyone who might walk in. Successfully hidden away, he finally lets himself smile, feeling giddy at the thought that maybe, just maybe, Juno feels the same way about him.

AND THEN HE STILL DOESNT SAY ANYTHING TO JUNEBUG FOR ANOTHER COUPLE MONTHS. SOBBING.

[honey-sweeeet]

everything reminds me of her; oikawa tooru

(cross posted from my ao3)

cw; major character deaths, seijoh four gets drunk af

Oikawa's closest friends wonder why they haven't met you before, even though you're his wife.

word count; 4.5 k

My friends are idiots. They're annoying, and one of them has terrible tastes in restaurants. But I do suppose that I love them, even after leaving high school several years ago. Iwaizumi is still as bull-headed and blunt as always - but then again he is the only friend I regularly speak to. Mattsun and Maki are as lazy as ever, laid back and sprawled into the leather seats of the booth. And they are also drunk, or at least very well on their way to being drunk.

At this point, we're several hours deep into this reunion, and the sky outside the windows is a murky black. I know you would love this, you're such a night owl. You'd be dragging me out of the restaurant and kissing me under street lamps if you'd come with us. I would put money on it that Iwa would have liked you to talk to at the meal, because for some reason you have a way of coaxing him into the less boorish version of himself.

What a talent you have, darling.

I really want to go home, I'm tired and I want a shower so fucking bad. My knee is aching after this morning's run and I know I will be hungover tomorrow. Mattsun has a terrible influence over us all - he can make even the most sober man drink himself stupid. It's just one of his (very few) skills. Fuck, I want to go to bed.

Yawning, I rub at my temples and grind the heels of my hands into my eyes. The world swims in patches of colour when I lower my hands, and I don't know how much of the vertigo is because of the alcohol in me.

"Hey, Oikawa." Maki sighs, leaning his head in the palm of his hand. I just want to go to bed. I should really start making my way out of here - get a taxi or something. I don't think I can walk it home like this. You'd be so mad if you saw me staggering through Miyagi, absolutely wasted. I'll get a taxi, my love. I'll get myself home safe.

"What?" I reply, splaying my palm over the top of my glass to stop Mattsun from refilling it with whatever it was he has us drinking.

"So- when can we meet your wife? She came over with you right?"

"She's busy."

"C'mon dude. You always say that. I'm starting to think she's not even real."

"She's fucking real, you idiot," I grumble, flashing them the wedding ring on my left hand. "You've seen pictures of us together."

"Yeah, but how do we know they aren't photoshopped or something?" Mattsun pipes up, topping up Maki's glass. "Maybe Argentina has sent him... you know." He whispers, making gestures hinting at me being the crazy one here. Yeah fucking right. At least I don't work in a morgue.

"For real though, Tooru, why haven't we met her before? You literally have a wife and nobody has seen her in person." Maki replies.

"I've met her." Iwa finally speaks, and fuck am I glad he's proving that I'm not the maniac at the table. "I went to the wedding. She's... really nice."

"Are you telling me Mr Anger-Issues went to the wedding and we weren't invited?" Maki sputters in shock.

"There weren't even twenty people at our wedding." I sigh. "Us, parents and siblings, and then just the best man and maid of honour."

"And you're telling me you chose Iwa as your best man?" Mattsun deadpans.

"The fuck's that supposed to mean?" Hajime scowls, pushing his glass over to be refilled.

"I'm just observing you're not the cheeriest fellow out there." Mattsun grins, eyes almost completely glazed over with alcohol. I am not carrying him home.

"How did you meet her then? At least tell us that if we can't ever see this fabled wife."  Maki sighs.

"We met in Argentina," I admit, taking a mouthful of my drink.

//

I am in a state of embarrassment so intense that my awkward teenage years have nothing on this moment. Not even being beaten by Kageyama of all fucking things was as mortifying as I currently feel. Maybe I should never have moved here, perhaps Argentina isn't for me. All of that passion and fire I had after watching Japan vs Argentina with Iwa means absolutely fuck all to me right now because I have been bested by Spanish.

My teammate is useless too. We're both fucking useless. Neither of us are native speakers, and although I've been practising - I really have been taking those lessons - it's all worth shit because I'm standing in a supermarket and I can't find what I need.

"Next time someone else can do the shopping," I grunt, staring at my teammate who just stares at the shopping list in awe. Why they sent the two foreigners to do the grocery run for the communal kitchen, I really don't know. Someone is going to pay for this later. My embarrassment does not come cheap.

"Excuse me," I call out, and I swallow whatever pride I believe is left in my body. The young woman passing us by stops in her tracks, shifting her basket over to her other hand. "Would you be able to help us?"

"Of course, what do you need?"

She is gorgeous. I don't really put much weight in beauty, because I've seen beautiful people do ugly things, but she is beautiful in a way that I really could not begin to describe. Seriously, it's been years and I still can't put my finger on what made that stranger so beautiful when I first saw her. You've always been beautiful - inside and out. But fuck you really had me speechless for a moment when I ran into you that first day. You never mentioned it, but I know I looked like a teenage boy in that moment. A real fish out of water.

"We're looking for something." I finally manage to stutter out.

"What is it?"

"...Fuck." I mutter to myself. "This is so embarrassing. It's the- fuck. It's the stuff to drink?" I manage to get out. I can immediately tell by the look on your face that my Spanish is abysmal. I need so much more practice. I start making wild hand gestures, and I hear myself slip into Japanese briefly. You look as if you're watching someone run away from an asylum, shock and humour melting together on your pretty features.

"I don't speak Japanese." You laugh, trying to track my hand gestures.

"Oh god- the... the white stuff?" I have no idea how to convey to you what I need to get across. You stared at me like I was a madman, and I don't blame you really. My teammate is looking at me with a red face, clearly on the verge of losing it and just laughing at me. I don't know why he's laughing when he's even more useless than I am right now. He shrugs at me, as if he wants to try get across what we need.

"The cow water." He blurts out.

I hate him, so much.

You were frozen on the spot for that moment, and it will forever be ingrained into my mind. That instant where I thought you were going to turn and walk away, call us crazy and storm out of the aisle. But then you burst out laughing, uncontrollable, beautiful laughter. You were standing there, laughing at me, laughing at my teammate. But I found it the most endearing thing ever.

"Milk! You want Milk!" You cry, your Spanish broken up with laughter. There are tears in your eyes.

"Yes. Milk." I sigh.

"I'm sorry for laughing. That caught me off guard. It's down that way." You wheeze, pointing a few aisles over.

"Thank you."

//

Tired does not begin to fully describe how I feel right now. I am more than tired, I am wiped out, exhausted, beaten down. I am weary, and every other synonym for 'tired' that exists in every language. Frankly, I feel like shit. Why I decided that I should go for a run after practice to cool down? I will never fully understand my own motives either. To make everything that bit worse, it rained - which wasn't in the forecast because if it was I'd have just hit the University gym instead of getting drenched about a mile and a half from the team's apartment block.

Everything sucked. Maybe Iwa would still be awake, California isn't that much of a time difference. I need someone to complain to, and badly. For some reason, none of my teammates seems appealing options - perhaps because I see them every day of the week, morning until night. Unless I was crashing at someone else's place after a lacklustre party, or on some form of trip, I never escaped them. I mean, they're good guys, but a man just needs his space sometimes. I'm only human after all, despite how awe-inspiring I am.

Thankfully, the lobby of my apartment is empty. I can keep my headphones in, not obligated to make polite conversation with a complete stranger. That was until a hand shot out to catch the elevator door. I snapped my hands out of my pockets, wedging my bicep into the gap to force the doors open again.

"Thanks for that."

It's you. What the ever-loving fuck are you doing here?

"Hey - I know you don't I?" You ask, pushing back soaked hair from your face. "Did you get your... milk?"

I know you want to laugh at me, and I will not take the bait. "And also some more Spanish lessons," I grumble back, uncomfortable from my track jacket sticking itself to my shoulders. You do laugh, but I'm not fully convinced it's at me. I get the feeling it's more you laughing with me and I feel some of my irritation begin to slide away.

For some reason, the world decides to punish me. Or maybe it's rewarding me for something - I can't immediately tell. Because you get off the elevator at my floor, and head in the opposite direction down the corridor. I am blessed with seeing you regularly (despite the fact I still do not know your name) but I am now also cursed with the knowledge that you may catch me in one of my more embarrassing moments - especially considering the states I'd staggered back in whenever the guys decided they wanted to crash a campus party.

It keeps up for weeks - I'm not sure why I'm surprised, you live at the other end of my corridor - but I can't seem to stop running into you after that day. You're suddenly always in the elevator when I'm heading down to the gym with one of my flatmates. Without explanation you come and go at similar times of the day to me, we seem to share the elevator a lot and even walk up the several flights of stairs together on the days where that shitty elevator breaks down.

"If I didn't know where you lived I'd accuse you of stalking me." You joke one day, tucking yourself against me as someone passes you by in the lobby.

"Maybe you're the one stalking me," I reply, hands on my hips and I grin down at you. "I am dashingly handsome and athletically blessed. Maybe you're just so enamoured with me that you can't leave me alone."

"You're also incredibly humble." You snort.

"But if you're so infatuated with me, maybe you'd like to go on a date this weekend?" I have absolutely no recollection of where that sudden burst of courage came from, what random act of madness made me blurt those words out so casually. I also don't quite know what kind of date I even have the spare money to take you on, but the first hurdle is you accepting the date proposal.

"Apartment 205. Come pick me up." Is all you reply, and I am so fucking astounded that even worked that I almost miss the elevator. You're already stood inside, watching me gape in awe at your response, the doors almost shutting without me stepping inside.

//

It's funny really. I can run to the opposite side of the world, I can spend years loving the foreign exchange student in my apartment block, building myself a whole new volleyball career - but the past will never fully leave anybody behind.

At least that's what I realised on that day in Brazil. The sand is absolutely everywhere, and it's much too warm. It was that type of warm where there's no breeze to offer respite, if there was a breeze then I'd be enjoying this much more than I was. Although the opportunity to absolutely trash you at beach volleyball was amazing.

"If only you had a volleyball genius as a boyfriend that could teach you how to play,'' I goad at you from the other side of the net. Truthfully, it was just a casual game with some of the locals - a group of tourists watching in between visiting the Olympics. There was no volleyball in the schedule today, and that's how you'd pulled me into a day at the beach with no games to watch.

"If only."

It was hardly a demanding game of volleyball, people kept coming and going as they pleased - the scoreboard was completely nonexistent aside from the one I was mentally chalking up against you. As some of the players on your side vanished, those waiting by the sidelines filtered in to take their places. You stood in the front row, sandwiched between a tall Brazilian man who had been playing on your side all morning, and a small ginger male who was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

And that was how I ran into Shouyou Hinata, halfway across the fucking world. He stood on the opposite side of the net - as I was so used to seeing him through during high school - trying to find a common language ground with you and your team.

"Hinata?" I sputter incredulously, not knowing if I was starting to go crazy from heatstroke.

"The great king!" He cries back, faces turning to us in shock at the sound of Japanese being spoken in the middle of a beach in Brazil. "Want a game?"

"You know each other?" You ask, throwing Spanish into the mix. I watched as you gestured between Hinata and myself, and you two were speaking something I couldn't really pick up on. It sounded like you two were finding some wild common ground between your broken Portuguese and Hinata's abysmal English. Somehow, you managed to make it work and I found myself just standing there staring in shock. Of all the people, and all the places, and all the times. Shouyou Hinata.

He's better than the last time I saw him play in high school - but I suppose that's to be expected. He can even hit some mean spikes from the sets you throw up - and no offence, darling, but your setting is terrible. By the time it's late afternoon and almost everyone is packing up and leaving the beach, the two of you seem to be getting along famously. I duck under the net, trying to pass as nonchalant when I kiss your temple and wrap an arm around you. I don't think it worked, but subtlety was never my strong suit.

"Tell him he should come to dinner with us," You say, looking up at me. "I don't know the Portuguese for that."

"She's wondering if you would like to come to dinner with us tonight?" I relay, unsure why I didn't just send that annoying little twerp off on his way. I guess he wasn't that annoying when Kageyama wasn't around, which was a bonus.

And that's how we sit at a small table in an Italian restaurant on the beachfront. Whatever you can't find a way to say in English or Portuguese, I find myself translating between the two of you. Somewhere around the middle of the meal, you two begin to teach each other snippets of Spanish and Japanese - something I can finally follow along with. I make it my personal mission to casually maintain contact with you as much as possible. An arm around the back of your chair, a hand on your thigh under the table, elbows nudging as you leaned on the table.

It's not as if I'm threatened by that little shrimp, I guess it's more to prove to him that when he goes home and tells everyone about me, he can tell them that I'm doing so much better than them all and my girlfriend is fucking gorgeous and we play beach volleyball together- I may have some unresolved resentment that I need to work on.

It's dark outside the restaurant as we leave, Hinata bounding off in the opposite direction spewing thanks at you as you wave him off. I'm not particularly a night owl, but you certainly are, so when you link your fingers with mine and stroll lazily down the street, my little lovesick heart is happy to follow you anywhere.

"Hey, Tooru?" You stop in your tracks, not loosening your grip on my hand. I raise my eyebrow at you, trying to not interrupt your sentence by leaning down and kissing your forehead.

"Aishiteru." You whisper, and I fucking swear my heart stops.

"I love you too," I reply, realising that maybe Shouyou wasn't so bad if he'd taught you that little phrase.

//

The best feeling in the world is finishing a game with a service ace. That's a complete lie, the best feeling in the world is you. But the second best feeling in the world is a service ace as a match point. There's just something about nailing a serve and watching as your opponents can't dig it up, their little faces of desperation as they stand frozen in place and watch the ball sail past. Maybe I am a sadist, but the looks on their faces when I absolutely crush them is the second best feeling in the world.

The best feeling in the world is indeed when I see you vaulting the barriers and come running onto the courtside with the coaches. It's watching you cheer, still as ecstatic whenever I win even after so many years. It's the joy in your face, and the pride you have for me. It's all of it, everything at once. But most importantly, it's the way you sprint into my arms. It's the feeling of you close to my chest, riding the high of the victory with me.

Today is no different.

My ace comes and bounces his chest against my back, whooping and hollering. The coaches clap loudly, smug grins on their faces. Fans in the stands scream and applaud, people flooding the court to join the celebrations. You are there - you're always there.

I relish the feeling of you crashing into me, even if you almost overbalance us. You grip my waist, arms wrapped fully around me as words of congratulations flow from your lips. There will never be a better feeling than this - and I want to ensure there never will be.

''Marry me. I fucking love you, please, marry me.'' I blurt out, cradling your face and leaning down to watch as the shock settles in your features. I realise that I might actually be crying. This is likely being recorded, the cameras no doubt still rolling even after the match is over. I simply do not care about any of it.

I kiss you, you kiss me.

This is the best feeling in the world.

//

You're in the living room. Or at least, that's where your voice calls me from. It sounds urgent, but truthfully I don't have the energy to come rushing. You aren't screaming bloody murder so clearly, no danger has befallen you - but something has for certain caught your attention.

I have no idea where these towels came from, what kind of magician you bought them from, but they're the best towels I've ever used. I amble over, fresh from the shower and lazily drying my hair.

"What's up?"

You're sat on the sofa, curled on your side, elbow on the armrest. Your chin rests in one hand while the other holds the remote limply. "Come look at this," You laugh, waving me over.

It's the news playing, more specifically whatever local station was covering the sport. You resumed the broadcast, giggling as the footage from the other week plays on your tiny TV.

"You've just broken millions of hearts," You laugh, watching as the headlines proclaim news that Tooru Oikawa is no longer on the market, he has a fiancé and women around the globe are disappointed at the development.

"Well," I sigh, folding my arms and tossing the towel onto the armchair on the other side of the room. "I can't particularly say I give a fuck. Only one heart matters to me." (I'll admit that one was cheesy even to me but whatever.) I vault the back of the sofa - a habit that I could easily break but I enjoy watching you get annoyed at it - and settle into the cushion next to you. Feet propped on the coffee table, I lean myself against your shoulder.

"The female race is currently in mourning," You jokingly profess, flicking to a different channel.

"All but one..." I trail off, doing my utmost to drag your attention from the TV by dragging my lips up the column of your neck.

"Tooru we just showered." You whine, trying to swat my hands away from your waist.

"We can shower again..." I'll be the first to admit that I was doing this to wind you up, but there was part of me that did kind of want to drag you back into bed for the second time today and not leave for another hour or so. Listen, I'm only human. You put me in the same room as someone that attractive and expect me to keep my hands to myself? Not a chance! Especially not when that person just so happened to be my person.

My only person.

//

Your parents must have been a little surprised when they first met me. I mean, they let their daughter study abroad at University and she comes back engaged to an Argentinian volleyball player from Japan. I can't exactly blame them for being a little taken aback by the situation - but when I met them in person that first time the drowning sensation of being welcomed by them was so fucking heartwarming that I almost cried. Of course, I wasn't some asshole who refused to meet your parents before the wedding, damn I'd made it my personal mission to sit on video calls with them as often as physically possible to the point where it felt as if the entire time we were just sitting in the same room and not a thousand miles apart.

I remember the look on your father's face that day I asked if I could marry you. He nearly cried. You'd left the room, refilling your wine glass and that was when I pounced. Of course, we pretended like we'd just been casually talking about your mother's promotion and not about the fact I was planning to legally put your heart in my care for the rest of our lives.

They seemed to like Japan, and so do you. God, that fortnight we spent together in Miyagi is really up there for me as a great memory. You loved seeing my hometown, promising that we'd go to your hometown one day too. We did - although it was a year or two later, and I loved every second of it. I'd even got Iwa to come back over from California for the wedding, and despite his incessant grumbling he liked meeting you. He still likes meeting you, but we're busy people after all.

It's small and traditional. It's not about showing people that we're in love, it's not about showing people the money we have. It's about having the few very important people in our lives to watch, to witness. Even though we're supposed to be dancing close, so slow and heartachingly in love, I can't stop myself from just dropping my head into the crook of your neck and grinning to myself. I have won the greatest prize of them all, I have the entire world right in my arms so of course I'm smiling. I'm still smiling when your father takes his turn to dance with you and I slide up next to Iwa. He taps his champagne glass against one I pluck from the nearest table. He smiles, but it's not the type of ear-to-ear grin, it's the soft smiling where the corners of his lips turn up and the corners of his eyes lift.

''Well, you look pleased with yourself.'' He sighs, folding his arms and tapping his glass against his lips.

''That's my wife. Of course I'm happy. This is the best fucking day of my life.'' I smile back at him, gripping the glass and relishing the little 'tink' when my left hand catches the stem.

//

''Okay that's adorable and everything - but that doesn't explain why we've never met her before.'' Maki sighs, finishing his drink completely and heavily setting the glass onto the table.

I think there is some fragile part inside of me that wants to tell them the truth. But it is a part of me that is so afraid of the truth that I've spent so long making my own reality in order to deny it. I twist the wedding ring on my finger. I don't even take it off to play, even if the weight of it can be hard to adjust to after years of setting without one on. I don't want to take it off though, I'll just work harder on my sets. It keeps you with me, honey. It keeps you right there with me when I'm on the court.

With a sigh, I reach into my shirt, pulling on the chain that hangs around my neck. It's really nothing glamourous, just a silver chain. A lot of my team have necklaces - mostly chains with crucifixes on them. Perhaps they assume that's what mine is, but they are wrong. On the end of the chain is a ring, plain gold. I dangle it out of my shirt at my friends. Iwa's brows knit together and he swallows deeply, knowing what I am about to say. He's wanted me to admit this for so fucking long now. Mattsun almost immediately sobers up seeing my expression. I must look sad.

Exhaling heavily, I admit: "'Well, she died last year.''

[mashiraostail]

I've been having a lot more depressive episodes lately.(dw, im getting help) But, can i have Nemuri and Aizawa comforting a s/o who just had a depressive episode? You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable with the topic, but if you do thank you so much

Thanks for the request! I can do this for sure and I hope it helps! As someone who is also depressed I put some lil tidbits from my own struggles in here (specifically the gargantuous amount of energy turning the shower knob can take me and how that simple action has literally stopped me showering for weeks) If you’re struggling right now please remember to extend your body the same kindness you so consistently extend to other people!! Even by sitting here reading my writing you’re being so amazingly kind to me!! Project that back onto yourself and give yourself a reward, a glass of water at your favorite temperature, or even a snack if you can stomach it! It’s easy to drown ourselves in comfort content and neglect tangible acts of self love but I promise the energy will be worth it!

Nemuri: It’d been a while since Nemuri heard from you, and even longer since she’s seen you, which was rare. You didn’t drop off the face of the planet or anything but you had been evading her invitations to go out or even just to spend a night with her. She wanted to avoid showing up unannounced but it was becoming concerning. The last thing she wanted was to make you think she didn’t trust you or to startle you, but whenever she brought it up you brushed her off. She hated the idea of you being sick or even just swamped with work all alone when she was more than capable of helping you out. Eventually she just decides to show up, she texts you first but you don’t even appear to open it, she just had a bad feeling and if hero-work taught her anything it was to always trust a bad feeling.  She knocks on your front door for a while to no avail, ringing the bell intermittently, she’s just met with silence. Her key works which at least is a good sign that you didn’t pack up and move across the country or something.  “Hello??” She wanders into the apartment. It’s dark and radio silent. But there are dishes in the sink, your shoes strewn around the entryway and your bag on the table.  “You here??” You were definitely here, your car keys were on the couch and your usual walking around sneakers...or. one of them was underneath the coffee table.  She decides to check your bedroom.  “I’m gonna open the door okay?? If you aren’t decent now’s the time to say it don’t freak out at me okay?? I’m opening the door now.” She opens the door with covered eyes. “Hello?” She peeks between her fingers and is greeted with the sight of you, or the lump that is probably you, curled up underneath your duvet.  “Nemuri.” Your head pokes up overtop your pile of pillows and the fluff of your comforter.  “Well hello!” She piques, clearly relieved to see you, “good morning to you sleeping beauty, though it is 4 in the afternoon.” She pushes the door open the rest of the way and enters the room.  “What’s up?” She leans against your dresser, “where have you been?”  “Where does it look like I’ve been?” You sigh.  “What’re you a vampire or something now? Decided to go fully nocturnal?” She grins but you don’t mimic her amusement.  “What’s wrong babe? I’ve done like 4 things that you would have laughed at by now. Something’s obviously wrong. I texted you and called but you didn’t reply...are you upset with me? This isn’t how you normally act when you’re upset with me...” She wrings her hands together, “normally you come to see me all the time, I’m not saying you have to be inseparable from me or anything but...well this just isn’t like you..if I made you mad I’d rather you tell me babe since I’m clueless..”   You sigh, suddenly feeling guilty for your radio silence for the past few days and the increasing distance you’d put between the pair of you for the past week or so now. It was intentional you just shut down and you didn’t mean to but everything was a chore, even the things you loved, sometimes especially the things you loved.  “No...it’s not you.”  “Well I’m...” She looked confused, “I’m glad to hear that but I’m still kinda lost. Are you sick? Did someone else make you upset? If someone else is giving you problems you need to tell me.” Having the green light gets her to venture further into your bedroom and sit on the edge of your mattress, “I can set some people straight if that’s the problem.”  “No it’s..nobody...no one is giving me any trouble that’s not it.” You also suddenly feel sort of stupid. You don’t even know what put this on. One day you were fine and the next you were worse, and then next was worse and the next was worse than that until you ended up where you were now. In bed 5 days removed of a shower where your one meal of the day consisted of a plain bagel sometimes toasted other times not.  “No one?” She reaches out and holds the bend of your knees, “are you sure?” You nod. “Okay then...well what is it? I wanna help but you’ve gotta let me know how.”  “I just...” You scrub your face, “I just...it’s been a really bad week or..2 weeks or..however long. I don’t know. I feel so depressed and exhausted and everything is annoying and tiring and no matter how much I sleep I can’t seem to stay awake.” She takes in a breath at that and nods with it.  “Oh. OH. Well now I feel stupid pulling away so much. I just didn’t wanna be overbearing and offend you or..well...well what’s up? What set all this on? Did something happen to...to make you feel upset or?”  “I don’t know...I just think I haven’t been taking good enough care of myself. I’ve been slacking and procrastinating and then I got overwhelmed and then I got upset and now...I’m here. I just feel like such an idiot and now to think I made you think I was upset with you because I was too-”  “Don’t even finish that sentence.” Nemuri shushes you, “it’s alright. Really you don’t have to feel bad about that. I get it, I understand now so it’s okay. I’m sorry for making it about me.” Her hand moves up to squeeze your thigh.  “I wanna do everything I can to help okay? Whatever I can do to help you come out on top with this thing...” Her other hand squeezes your lower arm, “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me with this sort of thing okay? We don’t have to get into the...deep emotional part of it if you don’t wanna talk about that with me. But we can start small can’t we? When’s the last time you had something to drink?” She looks at the empty glasses on your bedside table. “And when’s the last time you ate or took a shower?”  The face you make at that tells her more than enough.  “Okay you don’t have to answer that.” She reaches out tuck your hair back but you flinch away from it, the last thing she need to feel was your dirty hair.  “Come on with that.” She sighs, “I don’t think you’re gross. I’m not grossed out at all okay? I promise. I’ve had my fair share of shower protests. It’s in the job description, no ones perfect. I love you, smelly or not. Now hold still and let me give you a kiss.”  You relent at that. She presses a long kiss to your temple, sighing into your skin, “I’m sorry you feel this way. I don’t wan you to feel this way ever..so let’s start small.. How about a nice bath, yeah? I’ll set one up for you you can soak in it for a bit, while you do that I’ll clean up around here, change your sheets and...work on that.. situation.. in the sink, then when you’re ready I’ll come wash your hair for you. After that you can relax in the bath a little more, shave if that’s something that will make you feel good, or I could put some conditioner in your hair. Or you can just sit in a nice warm bath with a cold bottle of water and get your energy back up. I’ll get you some real food in the mean time.”  She doesn’t poke or prod for information, she washes your hair with the same care and consideration that went into most of the things she did, she didn’t ask to join you, or to stay. She asked if you wanted to be alone for a little bit longer and left you to it when you confessed that you did only poking in to leave ‘the comfiest looking pajamas I could find’ for when you were done cleaning up. You manage to get yourself up and out of the bath without having to call for the help or extra motivation to do it. She only looks delighted to see you.   “How’d the bath go? Did I use enough bubbles?”  “It was nice..I didn’t realize how..far gone I was..I feel better..” You rub your arm, if she’s at all perturbed by your confession it’s not detectable.  “Yeah?? I had a feeling it would help. Now come here. I really want a hug.” She pats the empty bed beside her and you make your way over.  “Good, there you are.” She wraps her arms around you and sighs, “I missed you.” She tucks you easily into her chest, her free hand scratching the nape of your neck, “don’t apologize for that.” She stops you before you can talk.  “I ordered some food from that place you like. I wanted to make something so you could get some food in you a little faster but...you’re running a little low on raw materials.” She combs her fingers through your wet hair, “it’s okay though having your favorite might make you feel a little better.”  “Yeah..thanks for being here.” You close your eyes, still exhausted but your chest felt lighter, your whole body felt lighter.  “Of course. I only wish I came sooner but...” She pulls back and looks at you, holding the base of your skull in her hands, “I get wanting to be alone sometimes. Needing space to get your feet on the ground is normal but...don’t be afraid to ask for my help either. If there ever is a time that you want me here, need me here even...I want to be here. I know I can rely on you so I hope you know you can rely on me too.” She presses a long kiss to your forehead at that.  “I think I’ll feel a lot better tomorrow.” Your voice is quiet and your fingers brush against her collarbone. “That’s good.” Her palm pulls your hair off your forehead, “in the meantime I’ll be here to help you get there.” 

Aizawa:  Aizawa was an introvert himself. He liked being around other people at times of course but sometimes he just needed a quiet room to recharge. He figured you did too, and plus you were both plenty busy. For the most part he trusted your judgement and tended to not be very insecure when it came to how much time you spent together. He liked being around you, and would rather be with you than not for the most part but he understood probably better than anyone what exhaustion can do to a person. If you were tired then you could recharge. That being said he wouldn’t avoid you if he saw you out and about, and he saw you out and about.  It was actually late for you to be out, late for anyone to be out really. You were leaving a convince store and he was getting ready to call it a night with patrolling.  “Hey.” The way you jump out of your skin at his voice tells him he maybe should have approached you with noisier steps.  “Sorry.”  “It’s okay.” You clutch the bag you were holding, “I just thought I was getting mugged is all.”  “You think there are criminals running around when I’m out here? I don’t know if I should be insulted.” He teases a little and you jump.  “That isn’t how I meant-”  “I know.” He chuckles, “I know. What are you doing out so late? It’s almost midnight.”  “I...had to get some stuff.. You bounce nervously on the balls of your feet, the last thing you needed was him seeing you like this. It was the first time you’d gone out in like 2 weeks, you were sure you looked as terrible as you felt.  “You don’t look very happy to see me.” Ever intuitive. You supposed you didn’t keep it much of a secret, the first thing you did whenever you saw him was reach out for him, his hand, his arm, his waist, you just wanted to touch. Or normally you did, but now all you wanted to do was get away.  “I’m just...exhausted. Sorry I am happy to see you. I’m always happy to see you.” You rub your eyes, “like you said, it’s late.”  “It is late.” He agrees, “I’m finished here.”  “O-oh that’s good..are you hurt at all?”  “No, slow night...but.. why don’t we spend the night together? Since we’re both here.”  He didn’t need to see the state of your apartment.  “U-uh okay yeah we can go to yours..” “You’re closer.” He raises his eyebrows, letting his goggles fall around his neck, “and you just bought stuff. I’m assuming it’s for your apartment not mine.” He peeks into the bag, “I don’t remember sending you a midnight shopping list.”  “W-well yeah but there’s school tomorrow and you’re closer so it’s probably easier for you and-”  “You’re an extra five minutes out.” He laughs at that, “and unless you trashed all my things in the week I went without seeing you I have plenty of stuff to wear at your place.”  “Y-yeah I mean..that is true.”  He raises one eyebrow at you, “so?” You couldn’t think of a good reason to say no, the mountain of dishes in your sink, the full washer and dryer and 2 baskets of unfolded laundry didn’t seem like an excuse, especially considering it was knowledge you wanted to withhold from him in the first place.  “Y-yeah sure..it has been a while.”  “Alright, let’s go then.” He reaches out and takes your bags from you batting your hand away as you try to stop him.  “You’ve been working-”  “I got it. It’s fine come on. You really shouldn’t be out so late by yourself you know.”  “You’re probably right..” You murmur, making to follow him down the road.  He doesn’t pry about your jittery state, he asks a few question about how your day went and seems to back down even more when you take a hold of his arm on your walk.  “It really is slow tonight.” He looks around, “at least you picked a good night for a midnight excursion.” He nudges you a little playfully and you hum.  You wanted to be more engaging but every step brought you closer to the impending doom that would be Shota seeing the abysmal state in which you were living.  Once you get to the front door you realized you didn’t have your keys.  “I...” You look at your shoes and he leans against the wall.  “What’s up?”  “I don’t have my keys..”  “You really are lucky you ran into me.” He straightens up and shifts the bags to one arm to fish around in his pocket, “I’ve got one. Are you feeling alright?” You don’t reply because...well he’d figure it out.  “Please don’t say anything rude.” You warble mostly to yourself as the lock clicks, he pushes the door open. “What do you mean don’t say anything rude, why would I-” He clicks the light on as he steps inside. Oh it’s worse than you remembered. How’d your laundry get to the couch? And why did you get a new glass every time you wanted water? Especially when you didn't drink it half the time. Everything is clearer in hindsight.  “Oh.” He sets the bags down on the coffee table, which is really the only clear surface in a 10 foot radius of him.  “I’m sorry.” You groan, slumping into the wall and scrubbing your face, “I’m so gross-”  “I didn’t say that...But let me ask again.”  He turns to you, “are you feeling alright?”  “Not really no..” You look down again and he starts to pick up some of the glasses.  “The sink isn’t any better..” You warn him, hugging your chest.  “Yeah I figured.” He turns to you, arms full of various aspects of your mess. “Don’t look so guilty. Come on.” He nods you towards your kitchen, you figure the least you can do is pick up a few spoons, bowls and glasses on your way in.  “You don’t have to clean up after my stupid mess I-”  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” He shakes his head, “you don’t feel good. I wish you’d said something sooner. I would have come when you asked.”  “Don’t feel bad.” You murmur, “I wasn’t ready anyways.”  “Come here.” He holds an arm out and you cringe, “I probably smell terrible I haven’t-”  “It’s okay. It’s all okay. I’m not holding any of this against you, no one is. Come on. Over here.” So you shuffle into his chest, eventually wrapping tired arms around his ribs.  “Does this help?” He’s rubbing long strokes up your back, his palm his firm against you every stroke pushing you a little closer. You just nod into his chest.  “Did something happen? Did someone upset you? Or are you just having a hard time right now?”  “I’m just having a hard time.” You reply, trying not to let your voice sound to wet or warbly. “Cry if you want to. If you need to. It’s okay. I won’t hold that against you either. Sometimes the best thing you can do is cry. I’ll be here for you while you do.” It’s not loud hiccup-y sobs, you aren’t bawling and sniffling. It sounds just as tired as the rest of you, it’s listless and exhausted and downright empty. It honestly hurt him to hear it a little. He’s been there too.  One hand holds the back of your head the other keeps running those lines up your back pressing between your shoulder blades.  “What do you think about taking a shower?” His fingers glide along the hem of your tee shirt, grazing your neck lightly. “It’s not that I don’t want to-”  “I know. Hey, I know.” He pulls you away and slicks your hair back, “but you’re neglecting your body right now. Even if you don’t mean to. Your skin and hair will be really thankful for a shower right now. How can I help you get there?”  He takes you to the bathroom and carefully undresses you going as far to turn the shower nob for you.  “Sit if you need to.” He reminds you, gathering your clothes off the ground, “I’m going to leave the door open so call me if there’s anything you can’t do, but I’ll come check on you in 10 minutes okay? Is there anything you don’t want me touching or cleaning without you? Is there anything that’s off limits?”  “No...it’s okay...I just feel bad you’ve been working and now-”  “Don’t feel bad. I’m not doing anything that you wouldn’t do for me. Take your shower, I’ll come back in a few minutes after I fold up the laundry out here. Try to stay focused.”  “Thank you.” You nod and squeezes your shoulder.  “You’re welcome. And thank you for trusting me.”  He helps you out of the shower and wraps you in a towel. In the time you’d spent in the shower he’d gotten most of your dishes into the dish washer and you could see your couch again.  “New sheets.” He kisses your temple, “you ready to go to sleep?”  You nod as he tosses a tee shirt to you.  “Tomorrow morning you’re gonna eat a good breakfast with me right?”  “I don’t really have much to cook with-” “We’ll make it work.” He leans back against the pillows, “don’t worry about it now. Right now just focus on getting some sleep, real genuinely restful sleep. Wake me up if you need me.” 

[sor-vette]

four, circus!! (index/description)

☜ three, an all-out fight club!!

☞ five, dots!!

t/w: dead bodies, mention of overdose

"This has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen," Yoongi thinks to himself as he blankly stares at Jimin, transferring the PPT file to the projector.

123 slides in "Reasonable arguments as to why we should date, _̵͚̾͌_̶̢̛̘̅͛̕_̶̡̧̝͗̒̋̌̚_̴̮̒̍̿̃͠ .

"Wrong PowerPoint bro," Jungkook grunts with closed eyes. No doubt the idiot had tried to stalk you throughout the night. It's been three days since Erik had officially enrolled.

Namjoon also has his eyes fixed on the projector, his expression giving nothing away.

"Resigned to death, poor bastard, as you should."

Jimin momentarily looks behind him to see why Jin had started to snort in laughter before scrambling to choose another file.

56 slides in "What do we know about Erik and what to do about it?"

"The title could be less verbose," Jin remarks, spinning his chair around the room.

"You're one to talk, literally," Jimin sneers but, there is very little malice in his voice if any. Besides Namjoon, V and Hope, who actually stuck to his word of minding his business, Yoongi didn't know anyone personally in the room. Though he sure has heard of the connections they had with you. Each weirder than the other.

Namjoon, the CEO, the one who went overboard in commitment and scared you off. Rumour was he offered marriage before the first "I like you." But that as well could be bullshit.

Hope, with the most cordial contact out of all. And also the most distant. You two had fundamentally different perceptions of how the world worked. Incompatible match, as the saying goes.

Jin. Despite the grandeur of his character, Yoongi knew very little of him. Even less as to why you left. He presumed the lack of commitment on both sides.

Jimin, the almost. For five months Yoongi had to hear nothing but coy whispers of just what good friends you two were. What good time you both had jumping back and forth from Paris and home. And then with zero explanation, you weren't. Every once in a while, he'd see the two of you in the hallway. Working hard to suffer through an exchange of pleasantries between long awkward pauses. The whispers had been effectively stomped to death, with no one the wiser as to what the hell had happened.

V, the one you hated and the one who hated you. How the two of you even met was beyond anyone's understanding. How you didn't rip each other's throat out even more so. Why he was here? God only knew.

And the last one, JK. Your trainee before Erik. The one who'd shamelessly bounced, leaving you in the dust when the enrollment came with a nary of thank you. After that, you officially joined the cleaner department and largely went missing from the public eye.

And, of course, Yoongi himself. The only official boyfriend. The one who officially broke both of your hearts.

"If all of you could please focus!" Jimin snapped, standing with a wad of paper in hand, waving it like a teacher in front of particularly annoying group of students.

"He even made notes," Namjoon whispered faintly.

"More like a manifesto," Yoongi snickered, letting his eyes wander over the sheer thickness of the file.

"Silence!" For a split second, Yoongi wanted to make a jab about a chihuahua being able to bark, but having considered his own height, he chose to be silent.

"So, let's start with basics. Erik Genyer. Joined two and a half years ago through a recruitment agent. He's 24, lived in Seattle before moving here. No known parents or siblings." Jimin recounted with ease.

"I hope you didn't look through his records," Namjoon frowned at the screen. "Because I did not authorize that."

"Does it count as looking if it's a brief glance?"

"Yes."

"And yet here you are benefitting from it." Namjoon could only breathe through his nose a tad harder.

"Why are you telling us this?" Jin interjected. "Mr CEO here could just give us his file - we'd read for ourselves."

"I will not. That's against company policy."

"And what you're doing here is completely legal and non - invasive." Jin raised his eyebrows, not phased even in the slightest that he was much below Namjoon's position.

"Silence!" Jimin yelped again at the front. "Has anyone here worked with Erik?"

"Hope definitely has," V piped up from his seat, looking as uninterested as one could. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him. V took the piercing glare in stride, haughtily turning away.

"Well, yes but..." Jimin shuffled on the stage almost awkwardly. "He has strictly declined the invitation to our little... boy band."

"Wait does that mean he could tell _̸̢͉̦͔̣͈̱̅́́̓͊̇̂̓́̕͝ͅ_̸̨̙͚̻̬͖͉̻͔̑̓͐͜ - I mean R.D.?" Jungkook suddenly asks, eyes wide. Even Yoongi blanched at the thought. Everyone straightened in their seats. This was all fun and games until the moment you knew. Oh, you'd rip each and every one of them a new asshole. All of them could kiss goodbye to any attempt of trying to mend bridges. By that point, there wouldn't even be a river stretching underneath.

"I sincerely hope not." Jimin whispers and they sit in a moment of silence, weighing the risks.

"Heh, hope not." Jin suddenly gives a breathy laugh solely to be met by a general aura of disapproval.

"It's not funny." Namjoon scolds slightly but, Jin being Jin, openly looks him into eyes and goes -

"I know."

Amidst the banter, JK raises his hand shyly.

"I trained with him for a short while."

"And what is he like?" Jimin's eyes almost sparkled at anyone giving an actual insight.

"He must be wearing contacts or something," Yoongi mused, pushing the cap of his water bottle around the table. He knew Jimin to be attractive. No one in the entire company would shut up about it, nevertheless, something about him seemed almost supernatural.

JK shrugged in response.

"A bit rude and careless but talented. He finished training early."

"Did it seem like he was particularly going after her?" Namjoon interrogated further. There was a deep scowl of resentment on his face.

"Uhh, no. I think he was interested in the cleaner department in general. Apparently, he spent most of his orientation there."

"He also spent a month in surveillance. Did you speak with him...V?" If V was surprised by Jimin addressing him personally, he didn't show it as he continued to inspect his nails.

"Didn't even know he was there."

"Why did he stay so long in the cleaner department?" Yoongi asked as he ran over the information on the screen. Besides the already mentioned month in surveillance and a week in networking and relations, this Erik hadn't even tried to apply anywhere else.

"Poor communication skills. I had to throw him out. That's why he was only there a week." Jin explained.

"So you spoke to him?"

"Well, no, Irina," he was interrupted by a hollow thud. Without prompt V had dropped his steel thermos onto the desk, tea splattering everywhere and staining JK's jacket in the process. Both of them fumbled to clean it up with anything they could. V dabbed the desk harshly, the wood creeking at every aggressive wipe. Yoongi saw Jin looking sideways, the same confused expression echoed on his face.

"Well, as I was saying, Irina, R.D.'s friend, I'm sure you're familiar, came to me, said he was causing trouble and asked to refer him."

"And you sent him to R.D.?"

Jin gave a deeply suffering sigh.

"No, I did not send him. I referred him to general management and they gave him to the cleaners ."

"Ok, I get all of this. But what are we supposed to do about him?" Namjoon interrupted, jaw set in a tight grip.

Jimin fell silent at the front of the room.

"Yeah, this was the main question." Yoongi thought bitterly.

It was all a question of ethics, wasn't it? JK could pretend all he wanted to be above it all, to be respectful but then he trailed secret circles around you. Whether from guilt or perhaps a sense of entitlement. Yoongi didn't know or really care. Nevertheless the kid clearly had a hard time differentiating between what he said and what he did. Yoongi was however surprised to see Namjoon be so eager. He quite fancied making himself bald from worrying about the nature of evil. Just how easy it was to hide it behind big aspirations of providing aid. But it seemed as of late all of that was tossed aside.

Jimin was the one who orchestrated this in the first place, and so naturally, everyone looked at him for guidance. He was still shuffling around, nervously fiddling the blue pen.

"Well, first of all, I think we should talk more to R.D." A huff passed around the room.

"Talk to her?" V asked sceptically, mouth set in a straight line and heavy wrinkles carved between brows.

"Do you have any idea how difficult that would be?"

"Certainly it would be for you," Yoongi snarled, earning a harsh glare.

"Listen, at the end of the day, it's not really about us trying to force her into something. It's just to make sure... she's living a safe life. Well, the safest that's possible." Jimin said with enough sincerity to trigger certain insecurities within Yoongi and by the look of it also Namjoon.

It was no secret that between the seven, they were the most possessive over you. Both having the wrong idea that you were theirs. Which is why you left and why you probably were so caught up in Jimin. The purity and sheer selflessness of his sentiments acted like a punch to the gut. The genuine care that he reflected like a sun made the raw wound in Yoongi's chest seep even more. To be loved like that would be a dream come true. Yoongi shifted his attention to the laminated floor.

"We talk to her, find out what her life is like, keep a close eye on what Erik does. Talk to other cleaners about him, and once we find out, she's happy. That's. The. End. Of. That." There was no uncertainty. Jimin was dead serious.

The meeting was adjourned, quite amicably actually, but Yoongi knew that the rest of them had ulterior motives and plans. He had them too.

Jin and JK were no threat. Both were too uncertain of what to do with you.

Jimin had some deep-seated self esteem issues. Despite his 123 slide presentation, the way he spoke made it clear. That's probably why the abrupt parting, Yoongi mused. Both of you most likely shared the same anxiety about not being good enough for the other.

V was just V.

Namjoon was the only one Yoongi was truly worried about. Even from looking at his back, walking headstrong up the stairs, Yoongi could see how stubborn Namjoon was. In a way, it was like looking in a mirror. The possessiveness, the mulish mindset. They'd saw you, all of you and had decided that this was it. Yes, Namjoon would certainly be the toughest rival. However, Yoongi was very good at playing the long game. Especially if he wanted something so bad it felt like his thorax slowly being ripped out.

All that was left was Hope. But he wasn't even a viable player. After all, he hadn't even shown up.

***

"Why the fuck is he so heavy?" Erik grunted, swaying left and right and holding onto his dear life to the bagged pair of legs.

"Rigor mortis...set in," you huffed in answer, from the upfront of the body. "At least he wasn't rotting already. That's just nasty. 1, 2, 3."

Both of you lift the body into the van and let the poor bastard drop with a soft thud. Sweat pooled underneath your white hazmat suit with plastic glasses digging straight into your brain. You banged hard against the "EMT" van, and it drove away, carrying Dr. Martin Leyster to the morgue.

Should the neighbours see anything, it was a sad story of a depressed psychiatrist accidentally overdosing on his own meds. The evidence of him manipulating his most vulnerable patients into bankruptcy erased in you any stray feelings of sympathy though.

"You have the peroxide?" You rifled through the cleanup bag, but instead of answering, Erik began to actively point somewhere behind your back. A cold chill ran up your spine as you realize someone has been watching you stuff the body in the trunk. It quickly dissipates when you see a familiar smile.

"Hard at work, I see," Hope whistled, bounding towards you more like a kid on a school trip, rather than what the reality was.

"May I borrow your mentor for a bit?" He asked politely, still smiling up at Erik. There was no warmth in his expression.

"You are after all now an official member of the cleaner crew. Surely you can handle this on your own."

Erik looks at you for a moment before giving a loud sigh and trudging back to Leyster's office, the white toolbox angrily swishing back and forth in his hand.

Without hesitation, you remove the glasses from your head, revelling in the ease of pressure. Hope had stopped smiling altogether, looking quite pensive.

"What brings you here?" You ask lightly. To see him here is not worrying per se, but certainly interesting. He gives a quick shrug.

"Nothing much. Wanted to see how you were doing after that runt's little stunt." You only laugh at the shallow animosity. Erik's talent to drive people out of their patience was truly remarkable.

"I'm doing fine. You know... working. What about you?"

"I've been working as well."

You both fall silent.

"You ever thought about leaving the BH?" He suddenly asked, and you quirk a brow at the question.

"Not particularly. Have you?" Hope focuses a blank gaze at the grey walls of the multi-story apartment complex.

"A little bit. Last few days especially." You stand in muted shock. Hope was the last person you thought would quit. He was, without doubt, the most devoted, the most passionate out of all the hundreds of employees. He lived for the cause, he himself said so. And yet now he stood uncertain in front of you. Not really the bright and friendly Hope everyone knew, not really the strict and somewhat terrifying training teacher. He was just...quiet. It was an upsetting scene.

"Do you want to go for a drink or a lunch, maybe?" You offer, reaching for the zipper of the white suit. Yes, Erik could handle this on his own. He was a big boy. Hope hastily placed his hand atop of yours, pausing the movement. Even through the fabric, it radiated warmth. No wonder people called him sun. He frowned at the conjoined hands, lightly stroking his thumb over your knuckles before lighting up like a Christmas tree.

"No, no. I don't want to burden you with my problems." You didn't believe his smile for a second.

"Well, I won't steal you away for much longer, the pup might get anxious." He turned around, by the looks of ready to sprint off.

"Hey, wait!" He paused, not looking back.

"Do you why JK has been stalking me?"

"He has?"

He had. The first time you noticed a shifting figure in the background, you wrote it off to the combination of hangover and exhaustion. The second time he'd run off into the night faster than you could catch up. The third time you nearly flung yourself off the roof when seeing a pair of doe eyes staring back at you from an empty apartment building.

"There isn't like an alliance going around between some of my... acquaintances?" Truth be told, you found the very idea ridiculous, but it had wormed its ugly way into your brain and was now near impossible to get out. JK, Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon wouldn't even get along with each other. Even though those four were most likely to meddle in your business. However, if looking realistically, it was probably just your paranoia taking an intensive round. Seeing suspicious cars, watchful eyes and snooping noses where there were none. Hope threw you a sardonic smile.

"That would just be stupid."

(a/n)

In this story people have their names and codenames and will be often used interchangeably. It all depends whether in the story the POV character knows the names of others or not.

[solarcitymelodies]

Wowza sorry y'all about the random massive Rockafire spam, I'm pretty sure ??most?? People on here? know me for just Knight Rider because that's the only thing I've ever REALLY posted about--

but I Do Not Care it's RAE hours right now so uhhh here's some headcannons that probably aren't Canon compliant very much because I just got into RAE like last week

So like. I feel like Mitzi is a Good Amount younger than the rest of the band like she was in highschool when she joined, the rest of em were all Adults™ and she was a little bit nervous about it because...... ADULTS™

She was just lookin for a place to get her singing voice out there, because ya girl REALLY wanted to perform, and showbiz happened to have a slot open, but she did not expect all of the members to be older than her (although looking back, she realized she probably should have expected that)

It was intimidating at first but Billy Bob and Fatz were just the absolute sweetest and they introduced her properly to the rest of the band because she was like "oh I barely talk to them because I get nervous :(" and the resident dads p much said "aight we can do all the talking for you then, how about that?" And badabing badaboom she's now attached to these two and like honestly who isn't or maybe that's just me but ANYWAYS I feel like the band would become a second home/safe space for her

Yeah fr some reason I have BIG long headcannon for her joining the band but the rest of them? Nobody knows how they got there for all I know they just Showed Up One Day

Also I came across this

https://youtu.be/UU7BeUWQBDI

Which got me thinkin about what my headcannons were as far as sexuality/gender stuff

And I find the concept of Billy Bob being Very Much Straight And Ignorant but trying his hardest to be a good ally SO funny like if someone came out to him he'd probably be like "oh!! I don't understand why you would choose that lifestyle but I respect you!!" not realizing how incredibly stupid he sounds sjkrjh like I don't think he can very easily wrap his head around how people are just. not cishet. so he's like "OH then it must be a choice, right? like you can choose to be gay but you're born straight. Right?" and everyone just shakes their heads in the background but he does earnestly try his best and my man would rather DIE than disrespect someone's pronouns I know this for sure

Fatz is pretty similar, straight ally and a lil confused but he's got the spirit, you know? He still least knows being gay (as well as,,, m o s t sexualities that aren't straight, although some he doesn't get/know about at all) isn't a choice but he hasn't quite grasped that being trans is also not a choice. He will respect your pronouns to hell and back but by god he doesn't get it,,, he's trying though and he feels very accomplished in himself that he's starting to get the hang of using they/them even though he slips up a lot

The rest of the band encourages the HELL out of these two because they're. Trying their best and making an honest effort which is more than a pretty good chunk of people would give

Rolfe, Earl, and Dook are the reasons Billy Bob and Fatz are trying so hard to understand it lmao

Rolfe took it upon himself to hang up a MASSIVE gay pride flag backstage, being the flaming homosexual that he is, and the rest of the squad quickly realized "oh he's GAY gay he wasn't kidding" because at first they literally thought he was joking as he was actually just being openly and obnoxiously a raging mlm (and like I mean no shade to him this isn't me tryna to make fun of it because my dumb sapphic ass almost crashed my car once because I saw a pretty girl walk down the street. And by "once" I mean. Yesterday.) Anyways yeah that's when the rest of em Realized and were like "OH" but after the massive pride flag was hung up that prompted Dook to come out and they were all like "???? YOU TOO????"

Dook is a non-binary ICON he's a demiboy and goes by both he/him and they/them and probably would have a bunch of pride pins I think,,, I'm not really sure of his sexuality though!! honestly he kinda gives me bisexual vibes but Who Knows . Not me. He has a HELL of a time trying to explain his gender to the rest of the band (except for Rolfe because like. He's a part of the community so he knows) and basically he was met with "so you're just a dude but ✨spicy✨?" and it was like, "no, but I have no idea how to explain it in a way that will make sense to you, so. yes?" And that explanation seemed to suffice for most of them

Mitzi went in knowing NOTHING about what being non-binary was so she asked a l o t of questions about it, which Dook just kinda dealt with answering (he's heard most of it before, and it gets tiring after a while. if you're nb or trans or honestly any part of LGBTQ+ you know what I mean) but he thought it was really sweet of her to be so determined to learn about it and eventually she did get a grasp on it ish, so she was able to understand why it wasn't just ✨spicy male✨ (the conversation pretty much went "well if i was just male, don't you think I would label myself that way instead?" "....oH TRUE!!!") and she ended up a VERY passionate ally, and she'll ask occasionally about how to be better at it, bein a queen as she is 👉👉 also definitely started questioning her sexuality after a while and just went with "maybe bicurious" and Rolfe, Dook, and Earl were all like "ONE OF US, ONE OF US"

Earl has never once spoken about his sexuality in his life, because 1. He's very aware that's an awkward conversation to have with a puppet, and 2. He's aroace anyways, which is basically what people assume even if they don't realize it just for their own peace of mind, because seriously, puppets and any identity that ISN'T aroace creates a really uncomfortable mental image for... Most people, pretty much. So it's not like he ever needed to say anything about it, which is convenient for him because he wouldn't want to say anything either way. not worth the risk of embarrassing himself and making everyone feel awkward

(side note ish though Rolfe 100% came out to Earl first and was met with "I already knew that but okay." Rolfe was mildly offended)

And spEAKING OF EARL he's VERY much sentient but he can't say he's particularly enthusiastic about it because Rolfe has to carry him around everywhere

He can move on his own but it's limited and generally annoying to maneuver around with his tiny body so he just says screw it half the time and stays on Rolfe's arm or hitch a ride on Random Object, but like... Yeah, the majority of the time Rolfe just has to deal with only having one arm available and a puppet directly next to him making fun of him at every possible chance

They high-key have chaotic and unorganized college roommate vibes (like they're actually roommates because... Where tf is Earl supposed to go?? So Rolfe took him in) and idk if this is really like a part of my headcannons or if I just think it's funny so I keep entertaining the idea of it but I think it would be Fantastic if Rolfe had no idea how to cook but Earl somehow did so this idiot is trying to take instructions from a puppet, who can't physically show him what to do, and it's like Hell's Kitchen live featuring a furry and a sentient stuffed animal

Aaaaamd going off of my Rolfe and Earl headcannons still Rolfe for SURE has some sort of executive dysfunction issue. ADD or ADHD I'm not sure (probably ADHD) but he definitely has it also this totally isn't just me projecting how dare you accuse me of that

And!!! More about Dook!!!! I don't know how or why I thought up of this but I cannot possibly imagine him any other way now-- he's autistic and space is his Big Huge special interest, and if you ever ask him about it you have to be prepared to get infodumped or possibly even shown a PowerPoint presentation, because GOD he loves space!!! He wants everyone to know all about it!! He knows not everyone thinks it's as cool as he does so he tries to keep his mouth shut but when someone asks about it he can't help himself and will infodump a LOT, also haha drumming stims go brrrr, playing the drums isn't really a stim but he likes to just take his drumsticks and whack em around in the air and get that good ol Wavy Arm Action (wavy arms is best stim change my mind you can't it's GOOD)

Also i bbbbelieve earlier I reposted somethin about someone else headcannoning that he has echolalia, which I don't really know enough about to say anything on it?? But even if he doesn't have echolalia he'd probably repeat phrases over and over until he gets tired of them (which is,,, something I do lmao, it's either memes I get stuck in my head or things I've heard from various medias I like the inflections in (like one tiktokker I saw was talking about their tourettes and their vocal tics and one of them was "uh oh! How unfortunate!" and now I CAN'T STOP SAYING IT)) but like uhhh yeah :))) repeating phrases that get stuck in your head for various reasons for the win

This is already really long so I'm just gonna vibe out thanks for coming to my Ted talk feel free to ask questions I probably won't be able to answer a lot of em though because my headcannons are a Mess hehe >:)

[yetanotherreader]

Useful—4

Genre: College AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N, slight Dean x Lisa

Summary: The school’s most popular boy wants to be friends with Y/N, out of the blue. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with her hot best friend, though.

Word Count (For the chapter): 2,627

Warnings (For the chapter): Language, self deprecative thoughts.

[For some reason, some of the tags aren’t working. I’m sorry about that.]

[[ Also I’m sorry for the no Read More thingy because it doesn’t happen on the phone app :-(]]

Useful Masterlist

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Time flew by faster and in no time, it was the last week of the semester. Winter breaks were going to begin and you didn't know what to do with your life during the vacation. Lisa was going to be spending it with her family, Dean was going on a road trip with his friends and you had no plans whatsoever. You had no funds to go visit your family, overseas. You were saving for an apartment, and your parents understood. You were, in fact, surprised that they did without any clashes but again, maybe, living away from each other did mend your relationship with your family better. You missed them and, hopefully, they missed you too.

Right now, though, you were trying to figure out how you were going to survive the holidays, browsing the library for some books you could use for your time alone. Older times, you would have enjoyed it. Would get bored, might go into overthinking drives, beat yourself up for things of the past, but still somehow enjoyed the undisturbed two weeks. Now, it was different. Everything was. You were not used to being alone all the time anymore, there was a certain green eyed idiot who made sure to be around you as much as he could. The idiot you've started to dangerously feel for. He introduced you to Cas and Jo, and they were amazing people. Lisa had started spending time with you, too. It was funny. A few months ago, you had literally no one to talk to and now, you barely got to be alone.

"There you are! I've been looking for you."

"Well, I'm honored. Hey, Lis."

"Gotta say your sense of humor has worsened more," she said with a laugh, "Hey. So mom is going on a holiday with her fiancé for the new year. So had to cut the trip short. They invited me but I bailed out"

"I'm sorry," You knew Lisa and her mom's new boyfriend didn't get along all that well. The previous guy her mom was with, though, treated Lisa like her own, and she missed him. For some reason, they broke up and that was why Lisa  moved here for college from Michigan. Her mother's new fiance was a nice man, according to Lisa, but she just couldn't give him that place in her heart.

"Yeah. So, yeah, I'll be here a week earlier."

"That's cool. We can catch up on some movies then."

"And bars and parties and hot boys at the beach."

"Oh, Lord." You laughed, and she soon joined you.

"Hey Y/-" You heard Dean stop, abruptly before continuing, "H-Hey."

You looked up at him to see him looking at Lisa, only to realize it was her he actually greeted, "Um..hey, Dean."

He practically tore his gaze away from her to look at you, "Oh, hi, Y/N. You didn't tell me your friend was going to be here with you."

"Uh, you didn't tell me you were going to be coming here, Dean." You laughed awkwardly trying to cut the tension in the air.

"Oh, yeah, actually I was looking for you. Well, I was wondering if you-"

"Y/N, won't you introduce me to your friend?" Lisa chimed in, practically eye-fucking your best friend—and you hated to notice, it was coming right back at her.

"So, you don't know who I am, huh?" Dean smirked, flirting. You couldn't help but roll your eyes.

It was like you weren't even there while they continued to make filthy comments and it was disgusting, you audibly groaned making your way out of the library, "God, ew."

For the rest of the day, you were supposed to be busy. You had assignments to submit before the vacations started, but it seemed like you dropped your concentration somewhere on the road. You couldn't stop wondering what Lisa and Dean were doing right then. Did they kiss? Or were they planning somethi-

You shook your head, shaking away the thoughts. They were your friends, you should be happy for them if it came to something like that. What you felt for Dean was a tiny, little crush which would fade in no time. You weren't going to make things between you two awkward by acting on it. This friendship was important to you, after a long, long while you were willing to put your trust in someone. You didn't even remember the last time you ever talked to someone like you talked to Dean. He was starting to become the closest friend you'd ever had, so yeah, you were going to be happy for him no matter who he dated.

The only thing was...you weren't.

You typed furiously on the computer, trying to ignore the insecurities that were creeping inside you little by little. Dean is going to leave you too. No one will stay. Everyone leaves. Your fingers danced across the keyboard smoothly yet faster than before as you hurried to get the work done so that you could get the hell out of the premises and take a nap. Because you deserve it. You're not worth any love. You're a disgra- You typed the last words and emailed yourself the document, not bringing anything that was going on in your mind show on your face.

"Y/N!" You stopped at the familiar voice, turning around as Lisa made her way towards you, "Guess what?"

"What?" You asked, not surprised by her happy attitude. She was always so happy, it made you wonder what was wrong with you that you couldn't be.

"You never told me you were friends with that hot snack!"

"Um.. actually. I did." You said, rolling your eyes. Obviously she wasn't paying attention.

"No…" you gave her a long look, "you did?"

Exhaling heavily, you made your way to your room, "Lis, I've had a busy day. I'm really really exhausted. Can we gush over how hot Dean is later when I've had some shut eye?"

"No, I didn't stop you to tell how hot Dean is. I mean, yes he is but I wanted to tell you he invited me to the road trip he's going on with his friends." Your eyes shot up to her face, searching for any signs of it being a joke. It wasn't. Dean, actually, did ask her. They met...like...just now?

Lisa must have gotten an idea of your discomfort 'cause her eyes saucered in realization, "oh my god...I'm so sorry, Y/N! I completely forgot about you and the plans we made. I can drop going, I'm so sorry."

"No..it's..it's okay. Really. Go enjoy your holiday. I was, anyway, going to spend my time alone before we made those plans."

She looked at you, guilty, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.." You smiled in understanding.

"I can always ask Dean to let you tag along."

You chuckled at the irony. You were his best friend, you didn't need anyone else to ask him anything for you. And you even felt a little insulted by the statement. You could do without this favour. You could definitely do without anyone 'letting you' tag along, "Braedon, really, go. I'll be fine on my own."

She went away without another word. The pit in your stomach only seemed to grow as you did your best to drag it aside. You, somehow, managed to stop the slumping of your shoulders as you walked into your room. You changed out of your jeans into your pajamas, ready to call it a day. You made yourself a peanut butter sandwich and was done with all the chores that you settled down on the bed. Switching off the lights, you pulled the warm blanket over your head. It was then that all the thoughts you'd been pushing aside started making appearances.

Your friend 'completely forgot' about you and the plans, your best friend didn't even bother remembering that he forgot about you. It was like you didn't even exist. You knew it was stupid, in fact it was really childish to think like this. Them people have gotten their own lives which DID NOT have to revolve around you. And pretty honestly, you knew no life revolved around you, not even your own. No one would give two shits if you suddenly disappeared, including you. Still, you weren't supposed to feel this way. You weren't supposed to be so much affected because of something like this. Being left out was not something that was happening for the first time to you. But this time, it hurt a little. The thought of you getting replaced bothered a little when it shouldn't. It wasn't a crime or anything. What did you ever do to make a lasting impact in someone's life anyway so that they'd want to keep you forever?

You woke up to constant pounding on your door. Groaning, you got up to open the door.

"I was about to knock the door down, sleepyhead." Dean ruffled your hair playfully as you slapped his hand away annoyed.

"I was sleeping, asshole."

"Shocker."

You looked at him, bored, for a while before widening your eyes and pulling him inside and locking the door behind, "What the hell are you doing here? If the warden saw you, she'd rip me two."

"For a second I thought you were going to kiss me," he snickered sheepishly. "I called you to inform, you didn't pick up." He made his way inside the room, putting the box of pizza and a backpack on the couch. You scrunched up your nose at the action.

"Pizza? Why?"

"Why are you surprised?"

"It was Tuesday. Did I sleep for three fuckin' days straight?!" You said, flabbergasted for a moment until you saw Dean making the most annoyed face ever.

"Y/L/N. It is still Tuesday. Wednesday, actually. And our Friday night outs are at my place, not here where your warden is ready to eat me alive."

"Your point?"

He sighed, "We didn't spend any time together today, Y/N. I saw you earlier, you didn't look well."

You frowned before the memories made their way back, "oh…

"Well that's exactly why I was trying to sleep, Winchester." You scolded, trying to not sound too cold.

"What is it?"

"What?" You turned away from him, walking to your bed, Dean following suit.

"What's wrong? And don't give me there's-nothing-wrong-i'm-okay shit. Tell me." He sat himself beside you as you crawled under the blanket to the other end.

"There's nothing wrong, I'm okay." Dean rolled his eyes as you pulled the covers over your head.

"You know I hate it when you do what I tell you not to."

"Then don't tell me what to do." Your voice came out muffled, as you replied back sharply. He sighed.

When she walked out of the library, groaning as Lisa and him flirted, Dean had noticed. He thought it was just the playful best friend reaction seeing them two flirt with each other, so he let it pass. Later that day, he went to meet Y/N and saw her working on the computer. She would look normal to anyone around there, but Dean had secretly picked up on her habit of doing her work extra smooth when she's stressed. Her shoulders were tensed and eyes sharp. Yep. She was definitely bothered. What he was about to tell her would have to wait, first he needed to know what was bothering her. He decided to talk to her after his class, but by the time his class was over, Y/N was already out of the campus.

"I never got to tell you why I came to talk to you this morning."

"Oh, you came to talk to me? Didn't think I was so lucky." Was that what it was all about? Was she... jealous? But why would she be jealous? She was so darn confusing, it frustrated him sometimes.

"You need to talk to me, Y/N. What's going on?" He said, pulling her blanket to him before she pulled it back.

"Nothing is going on Dean, really. It's nothing. I'm just tired is all."

"And grumpy?"

"And grumpy."

"I need you to know no one is going to take your place, sweetheart." He felt her stiffen just a bit, not enough to be noticed but enough to be noticed by him.

"Stop thinking you're that important to me, Winchester. You're not." He flinched. He knew Y/N didn't mean that, it was just her defence mechanism with some extra sass but it still painfully tug his heart a little bit. She made a lot such comments, mostly playfully, with that serious face but playfully. Maybe it wasn't the comment but the fact that she was hurt that was bothering him? He wouldn't know. One thing he knew, though, was whatever was bothering her, he needed to make her smile. Maybe she noticed his sudden pause because she immediately spoke up, "Sorry. It came out harsher than I intended."

"S'okay. So you're not gonna tell me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing is bothering me Winchester."

"Whatever you say, Y/L/N." He gave up. It bothered him that she had still not opened up to him even when they'd been 'best friends' for so long. Every time he thought she would, she would close off and change the topic. She still was the mystery girl he met at the beginning of the college, a mystery he didn't know how to figure out "So, you coming?"

"Where?"

"The road trip?

"So Lisa did that after all."

"Lisa did what?"

"Nothing. And well, I've got some work so I can't come."

"Yeah I know what work you got. Come on, Y/N. Be easy on yourself sometimes. It's gonna be fun."

"But-"

"Great. So it's a 2 weeks long trip. Pack accordingly and now we have that pizza." He stood up before she could protest and got the pizza.

"How many times are you going to watch this show, Dean? Don't you get bored?" You said taking your third slice.

"As many times as I please, babe. It's Dr. Sexy M.D, it never gets boring." He said casually, thankfully missing the pink that dusted your cheeks at the nickname in the dark.

After a couple more episodes, you were starting to doze off, and so was Dean, "Alright, let's sleep. We have classes tomorrow.

"There's no morning class. Just one more epi." He said, clutching the remote in his hands, like a child, "please?"

"No." He pouted at your response, defeated.

"Okie." He said letting out a small yawn. Sleepy Dean was always adorable, "So it's settled that you're coming with us?"

She paused for a moment before shrugging slightly.

"I guess...yes," he smiled cheekily as she said that, "but, why did you want me there all of a sudden?"

"Because I want you there? It's gonna be fun. I've heard girls need their girl-friends on these tours for some 'girl-company' thing. I invited Lisa, so-"

He stopped abruptly as she stood up and made her way out of the room, "I'll go and throw these boxes, you change in here."

"- that you could get some company." He whispered mostly to himself. What the hell just happened? He shook his head, too sleepy to think about it right now and stripped out of his clothes into his pajamas.

Obviously. There it was. The reason he wanted you there, it's all here. It's because he didn't want Lisa to be alone around people she didn't know. You stood by the sink and chuckled to yourself, feeling a sting in the back of your eyes. Wow.

"Same old easily replaceable Y/N." You whispered.

-------

Chapter 5

A/N: alright. I know I know. I'm a terrible author who do not care about her readers but it's not that. I'm really, genuinely sorry. Life's been really rollercoastery and I've been dealing with stuffs lately. I promise I'll be better next time. And if you could take out a minute of your day and pray for me and a lot of people who need it, please, I'll be really grateful. They say prayers are powerful and I think I can do with them a bit.

Also, please don't do something wrong with yourself. You're worth every effort you make for a better life. Each minute of your life counts, just make sure you keep yourself and others as happy as you can. Be kind to you and others, I'm rooting for you. ❤️

And show some kindness to the animals too, they deserve it. ❤️

.

.

Tags for useful:

 @fandoms-fiend @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @itsjaybro16 @mml232 @blablatiti @stilltoomuchafangirl @bat-shark-repellant @bluebell-24 @shortwinchester @always-money-in-the-banana-stand @ima-be-a-mongoose @soullessbabee @infinityspacesuniverse @vicmc624 @roonyxx @fandoms-fiend @slythermyg