#when i say i don't watch anything it applies to basically everything lmao i'm tragic and picky

[mobius-m-mobius]

Random question! What are your five favorite YouTube channels?

Hey there, thank you for the ask!! Random questions are so fun and I'd love to have a better answer for you than this but unfortunately my use of Youtube is primarily streaming music or checking for misc Owen related uploads 😅

Never seen an influencer in my life lol and don't actually subscribe to any channels either but there are a couple I do check out from time to time!

Free time's at a minimum and I don't get around to playing video games like I used to so NicoB's Let's Play content has always been really fun to watch, his Danganronpa playthroughs gave me life years ago and while I haven't checked in for a while I was just about to start his Master Detective Archives: Rain Code run even though I own the game lol. Plot sounded fantastic but minutes in the mascot character gave me a headache so his voiceovers should be a big improvement 😊

The other is by a Thai backpacker named Sunny who has a really awesome travel channel updating several times a week. His content is super genuine with regards to the good and bad of every experience (plus no product sponsorships or placements), English subs are always available, and overall he's just a chill, kind person with a lot of respect and interest for the local culture so it's easy to follow his travels and learn a lot too!

[approximately20blorbos]

Ayo, it was really fun, so here goes right back at you! What's the latest song you've heard that makes you think about one of your wips/characters, and why does it do that? <3 Gimme, gimme.

!!! thank you!!

man this is actually kind of hard, my memory is so bad lmao. according to my song add history for my big playlist it was Choke by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, which could certainly apply to more than one of my characters, but when I played it back right now it made me think of Regaya more than anyone else. as a matter of fact most of the recently added songs apply to her so I guess I'm just fated to talk about he no matter what :)

so tw for murder, grooming, and abuse beneath here but honestly Regaya's past as a whole is a bit of a dead dove do not eat sort of scenario so PROCEED WITH CAUTION, I'm not really gonna sugarcoat things and I'm gonna hide this under a cut too

so this song makes me think so much about when she killed her horrible abusive fiancé, who definitely deserved death many times over, and a little bit how she'd love to do it again to her horrible abusive mother given the opportunity. but mostly about the former so I'm gonna pull some lyrics and talk about them for a bit

first of all, the chorus (trimmed down to the most relevant part):

I wouldn't hesitate to smile while you choke yourself and die now that would be just fine and what a lovely time, that it would surely be so bite your tongue and choke yourself to sleep

now this part kind of makes me think of the murder while it was happening more than anything, it just puts this picture in my head of what happened, BUT before I get into that I have to say that I love that it's written in the future tense bc this was absolutely a premeditative thing on Regaya's end. it took her months of preparation to not only have a plan and poison made (especially being under the ever-watchful eyes of her mother and fiancé) but also an escape plan because going right back to her mother after her fiancé's death was guaranteed to bring her back to square one. She had Embrist's help for all this of course, but that didn't necessarily make it any easier to pull off.

now she used cyanide for the murder (which she made herself) which basically prevents a victim's blood from carrying oxygen around the body (which is sort of like suffocation, I guess?). this was over the course of a little business trip so hiding the evidence and escaping would be easier. Basically due to a little bit of lore if her fiancé tragically disappeared during their travels over this specific stretch of land, no one was likely to look too hard at it, and Regaya could get off scot-free. anyway, she hid the taste of cyanide by serving it to him in sliced marzipan and she used far more of it than what already was a lethal dose, just to take no chances. I'm sure she was terrified this entire time but she was desperate to get out of her situation. I want to say more about how she was feeling in the moment but idk how exactly to explain it? I'm sure she was in the sort of hysterics that can have you laughing and in terrified sobs at the same time. regardless, she did pull off the murder, hid the evidence fine, and fled to the Crystalline Capital where she attended college for the next several years. I'll stop rambling on about the details now lol I'm sure it's a little weird that I have so much to say BUT there's another little lyric I wanna highlight for a second:

you get everything you want and money always talks to the idiot savants

so her fiancé was the sort of entitled rich businessman that this sort of lyric applies to, which is a fairly small detail in the song, but I love when little pieces line up with my daydreams and not just broad themes so it was definitely worth a mention!! this also kind of applies to her mother, who's definitely not only involved in "high society" but also is quite wiling and used to using any form of manipulation and even violence she can to get her way, which mostly has to do with her obsession over continuing the once-royal bloodline so that one day power to the family may be restored. (get over it girlie, your family lost power like 30,000 years ago. things change). she cherry picked that fiancé for his money, status, and family before Regaya was even named and said fiancé tried his damned hardest to groom her into the perfect future trophy wife but yeah, that backfired when she killed him. honestly there are arguably some parallels here bc Regaya's mother killed her husband when he started to realize how horrible she really was and tried to leave with the kids. obviously not identical situations here but I still really like to think about it.

to leave this off on a lighter note - don't worry too much for Regaya. her life gets so much better from here even if she certainly hit more tragedy on the way. nowadays she's very happy and in a pretty good place mentally. she's got a job she loves and finds great satisfaction in, great respect in academic communities for her advancements in medicine, plenty of friends by her side, a husband who loves and adores her for everything she is (especially her independence!), and the kids she's always wanted even if she's been afraid of indulging that dream in the past. so although her past is dark, things turn out alright for her in time.

so that was a lot and I hope it wasn't too dark but thank you for the ask!!! I was glad to have something to answer and this was really fun :)