#when I tell u that that sentence is singlehandedly the ONLY thing that keeps it from us

[villainsidestep]

me: maybe we should make v3!fawn friendless scar’d to reflect the fucked up relationships they have w everyone

me remembering that means u can’t say it would hurt the people you leave behind at therapy: ….. dang it

[cali]

im a different anon but im just curious what advice you would give to someone whos been pillbugging it for um. over a year now

mmm i cant really answer how to stop having depression which im guessing is what u mean + i dont know how ur head works but ive been living mostly NEET-ly for more than 2 yrs now and everyday im getting a better curve at dealing with it so i can tell u what works for me.

half the time when im pillbugging hard im paralyzed by a nontangible fear and the only thing that could stop it is adressing wherever the fear is coming from but the confrontation of the topic, trying to figure out where its even coming from, is terrifying too so i dont do it and stay swimming in tar. theres a sentence people keep saying when they explain why they watch 2 hour video essays "it makes my head go quiet". thats the enemy, the thought, not the person saying it. long term i mean. when its short term anguish that can be bridged by pillbugging its fine i think but if ur "making ur head quiet" for more than a month i urge u to make it go really loud again but thats hard. the only times i can try and confront those thoughts is when i feel otherwise nice, if i got externally forced to have a fun day, hike with my papa, date day with my girlfriend, sometimes just got myself to make a nice meal and it helped, when u feel better its a little less scary and u can maybe try and think out of it a little better. also i think on those days youre generally more positively charged so u got more hope outlook. COOL. i think this is why some people do meditation. im not good at it so i dont really know but i think its a brave pasttime of tackling unpleasant ideas. i used to try and dope my way out of it with lsd cuz everytime i used it it kind of forced me to confront whatever trouble i had but ive forbad myself that cuz i didnt want to rely on it as crutch + it was just unpleasant to get hit over the head everytime. now i only do it when i feel good already (havent done it in half a year lol). sorry, drug tangent. also weed is synonymous with pillbugging 4 me.

otherwise, rituals.... mmmmm..... when therapists and whoevers say stuff like take daily walks daily exercise take daily shower i think all of those are like half about the direct benefits they give and half just about doing anything regularly. cuz it helps. during pillbug hours the point for me is kind of to have time pass as fast as possible so the timeframe to hurt is reduced which is counterproductive cuz if it flows u by rlly hard u cant really grasp onto anything to get off the ride easily. and its never going to come really easy theres no probable single action or event that is going to singlehandedly pull u out of the mire, no rapture, no healing vitamin, its always going to be slow and tedious and boring and stupid but a routine is a nice framework to start that. brushing ur teeth is nice. and when u do something daily the days start becoming more tangible again and u will be able to tell how many days ago tuesday was. maybe u can think abotu what factors motivate u and twist them to do your biddinggg. shame and dissapointment works really well for me if i tell someone i will have this done by then and i dont it usually overpowers the malaise or whatever other reason has been making me not do it prior. but this requires social bonds and i cant guarantee u have those. in summer i started doing therapy cuz in germany i need it for transgenderism and shes also a good beacon for that, if she says do something until next time we meet i dont want to dissapoint her. other than that, um idk, everyting else is just kind of part of that. take walks even if u dont want to think about things even if its scary. be brave like childrens book illustration of knight slaying dragon. and then maybe u get a princess kiss

[rvmmm21]

. unpleasant reminders (1.5) .

small note : i know what you’re thinking. great titling. seriously, why can’t i title to save my arse? like i’d pay someone to title my stuff for me. i didn’t mention anything about currency, so go wild. again, please heed my warnings before reading. and uh... remind me never to write this much dialogue ever again, yeah?

*you do not understand how Elated i am to finally be able to pin half of this onto you guys*

i’ve said this in the tags before, but please don’t use shock-collars. save them for this au, okay?

(also... i... i do write soft stuff too. um, j-just in case you forgot... it’s okay to ask me for soft things. i’ll gladly oblige. rvmmm21 isn’t just a yandere bucket).

[yandere!omega!irene x alpha!wendy]

tw : choking, bondage, violence, noncon, implied use of shock-collar. (a very, VERY toxic relationship).

...

Bae Joohyun doesn’t need to be an alpha.

She’s already in control.

And Seungwan isn’t the only one who knows things. Joohyun does too.

She knows plenty.

But if there’s one thing she knows best, it’s that alphas who love their omegas unconditionally do not bolt at any given chance.

And if there’s anything Joohyun considers worse than an alpha who is unwilling to accept that they belong under her, it’s an alpha who actively does something about it.      

It is rather unfortunate that Joohyun, being an omega, does not possess those useful little pheromones alphas use to either overwhelm or calm. Life would be so much easier if she could just have Seungwan on her knees with a whiff of her scent. But when life presents her a challenge like an unruly alpha... a challenge like Seungwan, Joohyun would rather die than back down. She may have been cautious, hell, she may have even bothered to put on a coat before setting out after her fleeing lover. But it really doesn’t matter, not when Seungwan is as docile and harmless as a baby mouse. 

It’s at times like this where Joohyun really doesn’t think her girlfriend deserves her alpha status, or any of those knee-weakening pheromones. It’d be a surprise in itself if Seungwan was aware she even had them, let alone know when and how to use them.

But that isn’t completely her fault. She’s a young pup. Which means she has a lot to learn.

Luckily for her, Joohyun is nothing, if not a well-meaning trainer.

…

Joohyun is standing over her when she opens her eyes.

Even through the blur, it’s creepy. The way she’s just… observing.

She’s calm. Far too calm for Seungwan’s comfort. Not that there’s anything remotely comforting about being gagged and cuffed to the floor. She wants to kick and scream, because she recognises her surroundings far too quickly.

The basement.

Or as Joohyun insists it is, the ‘Training Room’.

For a few seconds she does nothing but quietly stare at the metal around her wrists, the taste of old rags seeping into her tongue anything but pleasant. Finally, Joohyun sighs, bending over to run her fingers along the knot behind her head as she breaks the silence. “Gag wasn’t necessary, but… I know you hate it. And I did catch you doing something very naughty, so I think it’s only fitting, don’t you?”

She fiddles around with the fabric before dragging it down and tossing the damp cloth to the side. Seungwan’s jaw aches when she flexes it a couple times. Stray tears roll down from the corners of bloodshot eyes as she opens her mouth to form some sort of apology. But as soon as her lips are parted, four fingers shove their way into her mouth, as good as choking her in an attempt to keep her from making another mistake.

“Don’t you dare.”

The tears are welling up and she can’t help herself.

“You ran. Again.” Joohyun’s tone is somewhere between a drawl and a snarl. The smaller girl impulsively jerks forward when fingers thrust themselves deeper down her throat. She coughs, gags and tries to twist away, but Joohyun just follows her, never leaving more than a millimetre of space between them. “How many times this month, alpha?”

“No, no, no…” Seungwan tries to say, but it just comes out as incoherent mumbling around Joohyun fingers, all subdued and useless. And it doesn’t help that her head is still spinning. Holding onto a simple train of thought is proving to be harder than the force Joohyun must have applied to knock her out and drag her back.

When the omega pulls her fingers out with a skin-crawling laugh, Seungwan scrambles to defend herself, pointless as it is.

“I wasn’t trying any – wasn’t running, I–”

A foot embeds itself into her diaphragm and cuts off whatever the end of that sentence was supposed to be. The hot pain concentrated in her chest slowly blossoms down her ribs, stomach, and her head. The impact of her back shoved further into the cement she’s slumped against sends agonising jolts down her spine, and it’s that instinctive wince that reminds her that she truly is at the mercy of her sweet, sweet omega.

The added pressure behind the heel serves to better restrict Seungwan’s breathing.

“Puppy’s learnt to lie now, has she?” Joohyun sounds lethargic, and it’s nearly twice as scary as that look of pure, animalistic rage Seungwan had seen on her face not two seconds ago. “You’d better tell me where you picked this charming little habit up… or you’re not going to like what happens next.”

She sounds unimpressed and bored and it’s terrifying.

“P-please…” It doesn’t cross Seungwan that she’s speaking out of turn, that she’s not answering her omega’s question, that she’s not thinking straight. It’s impossible. She can’t think straight. Not when she’s in such a compromising position. “I-I promise it won’t happen again, please… I don’t want to run, it – it was a m-mistake! I didn’t mean to–”

“I didn’t mean to plan an escape, I didn’t mean to keep running when I was called, I’m so sorry, Hyun, please don’t hurt me, Hyun.” Joohyun taunts her, mimicking the panic in her alpha’s voice with a sickening light-heartedness. “How many times do you think I’ve heard that, hm?” She pauses to chuckle at her own awful reminiscing. “Pretty much the first day we started training. And how many times has it worked?”

She kneels down again and wraps her hand around her alpha’s throat. She squeezes, smile broadening when Seungwan whimpers and chokes out a weak – “… none.”

Joohyun smirks. “None.”

Tiny black dots speckle Seungwan’s vision as the pressure on her throat increases, turning her laboured breathing into ragged pants. It takes everything she has to force herself still, if only to keep from encouraging the irate omega, who’s growling at her now, sounding more like an alpha than she can ever hope to be.

“Don’t make me wait for it, puppy.”

At this point Seungwan’s reactions are more reflexive than genuine. “I love – I love you!” Her words are clogged in her throat, but she forces them out in short, sharp gasps. “I love you! I’m sorry – sorry I tried to run, please, please don’t… please Hyunnie, you’re hurting me, stop please…”

Joohyun just grins and uses one more final burst of strength before she relents, keeping her alpha pinned up by her shoulders as she splutters and wheezes and struggles to stop the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Don’t think you’re getting off scot-free. Seems like I haven’t trained you well enough, puppy. Outbursts like that are very rude, and they will not go unpunished.” She finally lets her go completely to reach for something Seungwan can’t see. It should soothe her, however the lack of pressure on her neck and the lack of a foot in her ribs does little to do so. Quite the contrary. It fires every nerve in her body up, because if Joohyun’s hands aren’t on her now, there’s no telling where they’ll be next.

When Joohyun finally turns around, it’s the familiar little remote she has clasped in her right hand and device in her left that kicks Seungwan’s legs into gear, weak as they are. It makes her forget. She forgets she’s tethered to a U bolt in the floor, forgets that if her omega can singlehandedly retrieve her mid-run, she stands no chance if they’re in the same room.

She forgets her place.

Still, she springs into action, aiming to lunge past her insane girlfriend and head straight for the door. But she never reaches it. As soon as she’s on her feet, Joohyun is straddling her back, knee digging into the base of her spine and forcing her face into the cold cement floor. Seungwan sobs harder, one hand grappling pathetically out in front of her while the other stays pinned under Joohyun’s knee.

“Bad alpha, bad puppy.” The omega patronises as she fumbles around with the contraption she had intended to put on her lover ever so nicely. Of course, Seungwan had to fuck that up too, didn’t she? The battered alpha goes rigid when she feels deceptively soft lips against the nape of her neck, kissing her so lightly and so comfortingly that she almost mistakes it as forgiveness. But that hope is quickly suffocated when she hears the click of a buckle and a lock, when there’s that tightness around her neck.

She suddenly realises that –

“I’m tired of false promises, puppy. If you can’t tell me the truth, then I think it’s better you can’t tell me anything, don’t you?”

– it’s much more painful to swallow in fear when there are two icy iron prongs burrowing themselves firmly into your throat.

[fyeahfantasticfour]

Do you think the Fantastic Four should be stronger? They used to be a dangerous force that could challenge the Avengers and X-Men while only having four members. Now they aren't a threat without Reed's intelligence. I personally believe they've become too reliant on Reed to save the day. The villains they face have gotten stronger but the team stagnated, especially poor Ben. I don't need them to be the strongest team, but they should be more powerful than they were when we left them.

The idea that the FF aren’t powerful is a misconception. I get that the Avengers and the X-Men are both more popular nowadays, but in-universe the Fantastic Four are widely acknowledged as the strongest, most experienced, and most powerful superteam around -- the “toughest superbeings on the planet,” according to Frank Castle, the Punisher, and multiversal badasses you never want to mess with in any reality according to the Exiles. They certainly are extremely effective even when Reed’s not around – he’s quit the team to be with his family on several occasions, you know, and even died for a while in the 1990s, and the team did just fine with Sue in charge. And also you are seriously underestimating how powerful, capable, and experienced Sue, Ben, and Johnny are. They are all, by far, the most experienced superheroes in the Marvel Universe – they do predate the Avengers and the X-Men by two years, you know. For a long while, they were the only superteam around. And they don’t rely too much on Reed’s intelligence – for one thing, Sue’s plenty smart on her own, and so is Valeria, who is smarter than her father. (Her hobbies include plotting world domination via the metric system (when she was two) and how to conquer the Kree Empire in her spare time as a 3yo. She can be a scary child.) And then there’s the Future Foundation, composed of Reed and Sue’s ~12 supergenius children, who together cured Ben when Reed had failed. The FF don’t need to rely on Reed’s intelligence, really they don’t. 

And just…Sue, who is indisputably the most powerful member of the FF, can, on her own, take out the Avengers in approximately thirty seconds without breaking a sweat – and she’s done it more than once. She’s taken on Doom and the armies of Latveria singlehandedly – and won. She’s defeated Titania, Crusher Creel, and a mind-controlled Ben and Jen all at the same time, all on her own. Her forcefields are strong enough to withstand Thor’s thunder, and she’s held her own for a few moments against a Celestial, and they are colossally powerful. She’s defeated Wolverine – and easily at that. She’s knocked Namor, one of the strongest beings on the planet, to the floor with a single blow, and that was after maintaining a force field over an entire city for a day to stave off a war. She’s brought down an entire building on a tentacle monster that was trying to eat her daughter, and killed a member of the Brood who threatened her family with a sword she constructed from one of her forcefields. She’s been extensively trained in hand-to-hand by Iron Fist and she’s given even him a run for his money, so she can hold her own even without her powers – but, frankly, she’s always been capable of that. She can punch a hole through the Baxter Building. Supervillains throughout the Marvel U are terrified of her – she even made the Wizard, a seasoned supervillain, faint from sheer terror. She moonlights as a SHIELD agent because she’s great at infiltration and espionage. There’s also that universe (Marvel Adventures), where Sue became the leader of both the FF and the Avengers, let me just point out. She really doesn’t need Reed telling her what to do. She’s more than smart enough to figure it out on her own – in The Pine Barrens, actually, Reed is captured by some aliens, and he just knows that Sue will figure it out and rescue him, even though she has no idea he was captured or even that there are aliens in the woods. And she does. Don’t underestimate Sue’s intelligence or her abilities. Honestly, if you aren’t terrified of Sue and what she is capable of, you really haven’t been paying attention. She can be ruthless and she is powerful as hell and she saves the day more often than she doesn’t. And can I just point out -- someone’s in charge of the FF, but it isn’t Reed:

And then there’s Johnny – his Nova flame, for the record, is powerful enough to take out a small moon, just on its own. He’s taken out a significant chunk of the Annihilation Wave with a single Nova burst, and later – without Reed’s help or input, might I add – survived two years on his own in a Negative Zone prison, rallied the Light Brigade to his side, defeated Annihilus, took control of the Cosmic Control Rod, and became the leader of the Annihilation Wave himself. He also was instrumental in saving the Earth from Galactus at ~18 when the Watcher sent him on a dangerous mission through space to retrieve the Ultimate Nullifier, without which the Earth would have been destroyed. He nearly died saving Glenville from an exploding nuclear bomb when he was 16 years old, and in Strange Tales has many adventures without any of the FF backing him up. He’s a very experienced, capable hero – he might joke around a lot, but he knows what he’s doing, he’s smart and capable, and he takes it seriously when people’s lives are on the line. He’s currently around 30, and he’s been a superhero since he was 15. He’s been a superhero longer than Spider-Man, Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Ant Man, She-Hulk, Luke Cage, Daredevil…Johnny’s more experienced than any of them.

Ben, despite being less strong than the Hulk, is still one of the heaviest hitters on Earth, and you shouldn’t underestimate him. He’s progressed from nearly dying after a rocket crash to being able to jump out of a spaceship in low orbit without even feeling it. He’s plenty powerful – although granted Sue is more so nowadays, but I’m fine with that.

Reed, of course, could do one hell of a lot of damage if he ever wanted to – his intelligence is what makes him extremely dangerous. 

But, uh…have you never heard of Franklin Richards? He is a mutant who is beyond Omega level and one of the most powerful beings – not humans, mind you, but beings – in the Marvel Universe. He’s at least as powerful as the Celestials, who are space gods. He is a reality bender who is so powerful he can create entire universes (he keeps one in his closet so he can play in it with Leech, his best friend, and is currently off recreating the multiverse with his dad -- he and Reed jointly created the entire Marvel Multiverse that exists today, which means that every Marvel character is now the in-universe creation of Reed and Franklin Richards). Franklin is also immortal and will survive the death of the universe. Fixing a sun for him is as easy as wishing it so, and he can turn off Black Bolt’s powers just by willing it. He’s defeated not one but THREE Celestials on his own -- which he did to save his father from being killed by them. When he was a 5yo boy, he was already powerful enough to defeat the devil Mephisto, who is the living embodiment of all evil and who even Doom had never been able to beat, and Franklin just vaporized Mephisto with a single sentence. Also…you know that he’s going to make Galactus, the biggest bad in the MU, who is a stand-in for God, his herald someday, yes? Franklin is extremely powerful, is what I’m saying. Almost absurdly so. There is little he cannot do. 

I don’t know what comics you’ve been reading, but the FF are more than powerful enough, even without Reed in the mix. Franklin by himself is enough to make the FF the most powerful team there is, and you should never underestimate how smart and powerful his mom is.