#whatsitz rants

[whatsitzface]

You guys ever think about how much harder Peter's character would hit if he was a girl. How much more engaging his story would be..

Like, ostracized from the marauders since day fucking one because she's the only girl. Rumors are always flying that she's only in the group because one of the boy's is in love with her or something. And then as the get older, the rumors get worse. Nobody treats her like a real member of the group, a real person, not even her fellow marauders at times.

She was childhood best friends with James. Back when gender meant nothing, and picking flowers and catching bugs were treated equal. Hogwarts came along, and she was naive enough to believe nothing would change. But suddenly he's so far ahead. Shes so far behind. Below. Why does he even hang on to her anymore? And she's jealous, and bitter, and possessive, because everyone in her life is better than her. And she's too far behind to play the game fairly and win. Did anyone ever even let her play the game fairly in the first place?

Everyone's playing the game better than her. Not only does she have to compete with the girls, who are all prettier, and smarter, and cooler, and so unrelatable to her they might as well have been aliens. (Why were they so foreign?) No, she also has to compete with her fellow marauders. She has to fight tooth and claw everyday against the stereotypes. Try to be something more than normal the way women have to be. Try to better. Tries to be equal to the boys, but she really is just a dumb girl. She can never win against the men in her life, and none of the women ever tried to understand her. So here she is. A husk of a girl with her dead, colorless hair. She only ever liked asking silly questions and catching grasshoppers in the backyard. Why does nobody care about her anymore? Was it something she did, or was she screwed from birth?

The blood from her birth painted a girl. Her mother wanted a son. She was surrounded by her boy cousins, and a bitter mother, and James - the ray of sunshine - taught her laughter and lightness. But a boy came along and whisked James away with his stupid pureblood face and - well, it's fine. It's not like she ever had a crush on James, despite all the awful rumors, but God. He was hers, wasn't he? Hadn't she finally had something. But over the years she loses more and more. Everyone took it away from her. Was it always going to be like this? Born a bloody girl, mother begging for a boy. And died a bloodied woman, kneeling to a man.

And maybe it was taught - but what if it was earned? Maybe she was too slow, and everyone left her behind. Maybe she was too dumb, and everyone surpassed her. Maybe she was too disappointing to be a woman. Maybe she was too weak to be a man. Maybe she was only ever a coward. But a coward that killed the sun. Maybe the only thing she could ever beat James at was life.