#what's wrong with being confident? are you scared // OC: Cecilia

[thefearfulheart]

Cecilia

mood/stim board made for @kaydreamman character Cecilia

[dankmetal]

4, 21 and 23 for the oc asks for whichever oc(s) you want👀👀

HI I’M HONORED<33 Doing this 4 times per OC WIP; looooong boy /

WIP 1 | WIP 2 | WIP 3 | WIP 4

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When Scared, Does Your OC Fight, Flee, Freeze or Fawn? Short Answer:

Fight: Margot, Eric, Norman, Ira, Amelia**, Reyes***

Flight: Layla, Elias***

Freeze: Elzie, Joan*, Hive*, Andrew*

Fawn: Cecilia, Ellen*, Sophia*, Adam*

Long Answer:

*Joan, Ellen, Andrew, Sophia, and Adam all shift between Freeze & Fawn responses depending on the person & situation; the above just is what they do most.

**Earlier in their lives, The Hive & Amelia would fall into a Freeze response; as they become more confident with age/experience (and Amelia’s lycanthropy), they’re both more susceptible to Fighting.

***Elias & Reyes have opposite go-to responses (Flight & Fight, respectively) but have shifted between the two in rare situations.

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Does Your OC Have Any Illnesses or Disorders? How Do They Handle It?

Joan & The Hive are alters of a dissociative system but neither of them know what plurality is (and DID is NOT researched well in the 1970s anyways), so as far as Joan is concerned, The Hive is some sort of alien parasite that only gained consciousness when they got to university. They're also schizophrenic & autistic anyways and have THE Most Unmedicated Depression & PTSD in town (debatable). Ellen has ADHD (no dx, no meds, probably will never get a dx), so she works herself to the point of exhaustion - not easy being the first in her family to go to college, never mind being the first woman). Cecilia is a cane user/physically disabled from chronic pain in her leg & likely has BPD (she wouldn't treat it anyways).

Andrew & Sophia are both autistic and have depression. CPTSD runs in Andrew's family like Woah (Norman via Eric, Eric via [redacted]). Norman has an alcohol use disorder (finally acknowledged in the last year) & lets be real, so does Eric (he would disagree). Margot is bipolar & has ADHD, only recently accommodated with a 504 in school. Sophia is arguably able to cope with her disorders ""best"" through consistent therapy & medication, but its no doubt still a struggle. Andrew's CPTSD is actively worsening & he pretty much ""copes"" through spite, Ignoring It, and a troubling amount of ableism ("at least i'm not like Norman ahahah") <- he smartens up. he's also 15 & very mean; Eric won't take him to a therapist because the whole family is deeply afraid of psychiatric treatment on any level (<- to them, considering it means facing the idea there's something wrong).

Everyone except Layla has PTSD or CPTSD; Elzie is the only one formally dx'd, and it's mostly due to the fact they spent almost the first decade of their life in hospitals (deaf, born premature, autistic w/ high-support needs, sees dead people); they're coping.. alright, life is better around like-minded, similar people. Amelia is autistic & has been dealing with an egregious amount of stress-induced chronic pain even before she became a werewolf. Ira is schizoaffective, biologically unable to medicate even if she could afford it, & is Not Coping Well - especially as a vampire who holds A LOT of resentment towards authority. Layla is only five but definitely has some mixed, complicated feelings over being a (reverse) werewolf, humanized & domesticated, and though no one will say it, everyone knows her feelings of Alienation will only grow.

Adam has probably had chronic pain & CPTSD since day one, good lord, and it's only getting worse. He manages to cope through dissociation & fawning because it's all he can do as a lab "rat". Elias & Reyes both have some severe depression over the world ending & they cope in opposite ways; Elias through isolation & emotional disconnection, Reyes through a lottttt of lashing out & drinking. Reyes also lost his daughter in the fallout & blames Adam in a vague, abstract way, but it always comes down to him taking the medical torture needlessly one step further.

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What Emotion Is the Hardest for Your OC to Process? How about Express?

WHEW, GETTING THERE.

VERY difficult for Joan to process Joy, but also a sense of Envy. She’s spent much of her life quite sad & lonely; she already struggles to admit to herself she WANTS more connections, and actually expressing it aloud is almost painful. On the other hand (literally), The Hive is extremely sensitive towards others, embracing Joan’s want & constantly craving connection, yet wondering if this want is actually Selfish. Ellen haaaates thinking about herself & her own needs, everything will work out as long as others are happy — personal Pride is her weakness. Cecilia would rather die than admit (to herself) she feels a semblance of Dread & Fear about literally anything, she has to keep up easily-fallible appearances, but she’s getting older & slower & soon enough even Joan won’t need her.

Interestingly, Andrew already knows he has a tendency to be Selfish, but processes it in a self-deprecating way than productively & healthily. Loneliness is also a hell to process, but it’s much easier for him to express it without second-guessing. Sophia still struggles a lot with confidence & self-esteem, yet she shuts down the idea of still being Needy “despite all her parents have done”. Overall Doubt is a tough one for Margot, in questioning if her actions are right, if she is right, and being Doubted drives her to lash out. Norman probably hates to admit it but he’s certain deep down he likes being Combative & Vengeful; fighting back at Eric, at the world, gives him a rush; Shame is something he also struggles to admit, at his trauma, at his selfishness, at himself. Helplessness, feeling out of control, drives Eric up a wall like no other — he’ll subconsciously reflect on it & fight back against being targeted, but he won’t really process WHY it gets him so worked up; it’s more than the threat of conflict bringing him down, more personal. No one here knows how to react to Pity and unconditional Sympathy.

Regret & Remorse are difficult for Amelia — she 100% feels it & will admit it to herself, but actually unpacking it in-depth is another issue; her lycanthropy was born from traumas she lashed back out against, and feeling Regret over the people she hurt almost feels like regretting she embraced this side of her at all. For Ira, Rejection is something she’s experienced her whole life but not once has she let herself be okay with it. Elzie is not the best with handling mushy stuff, Infatuation, mostly due to inexperience but Ira is good with helping it not overwhelm them (gfs <3); open Hostility & Anger are especially difficult for Elzie to properly express. On a broad scale, Layla struggles with any expression of Sadness & Shame, both internal & external — they’re big emotions for a five year old who just wants to have fun!

Adam is absolutely terrifed of being Angry, being Bitter. He will feel it but won’t accept it because he doesn’t know how, he’s not supposed to. Elias struggles with Dread & Guilt, particularly when it comes to not know if everything he’s done will be worth it in the end; additionally, Optimism. Reyes won’t acknowledge his deep-seated Misery but will his dread surrounding Defeatism, whether expressed personally or externally, and it’s not pretty.

[thefearfulheart]

Overdue Intro Post

Been meaning to do this for awhile in all honesty.

I'm going to be posting more oc content (content in general will be somewhat inappropriate) and most of them have heavy themes that include: abuse, cannibalism, sexual content, mild mutilation, manipulation, unhealthy power dynamic's and quite a few other theme's that I will tag appropriately when the need arises.

Would prefer minor's to not follow me given that the content I will post will be inappropriate.

Mostly will be posting about anything that interests me but a majority of it will be Malevolent, The Magnus Protocol and Vampire the Masquerade since I'm obsessed with those.

Ask me anything about my oc's if you want and I'll answer if you want. I'm easy lol