#what's up with th old yeller jokes tonight

[miamaroo]

you're trying to kill me. I know you are, you must be. this fic is fucking lethal and i cant get enough and i just need to see my burnsides family reunite ily thanks for pain

me, dragging you to the back before i shoot you like old yeller: damn son, check out that next chapter preview 

[flimflamfandom]

Dinner with Nina

I write about Calvin and Ivy a lot, but hey, they’re my favorites! What’re you gonna do?

Words:1624 Summary: Ivy comes over for dinner Warnings: No real ones but watch out because Nina is off the shits

Calvin was extremely nervous. He looked like it, too, as he stood and waited for Ivy. The two were facing Nina McMurray for dinner tonight. Normally, dinner with mom wouldn’t be freaking Calvin out at all; after all, it was his mother, he wasn’t exactly a stranger to eating meals with her. No, the scary thing was-

“So this’ll look okay?” Ivy had on a yellow day dress and a cloche hat to match, along with some small heels. She laughed a little. “Or does your mother disapprove of bright colors?” She walked over and joked, “They didn’t have yeller dyes in th’ good book, ye know!” She mocked Nina’s voice, or at least what she thought it could sound like. Calvin nervously giggled. “It looks fine.” The two started to walk. “Hey, now, Calvin, it can’t be that bad.”

“Pardon?”

“I mean, your mom! She can’t be too awful with me can she? She knows I make you happy and all, that should be her number one goal.”

“I dunno, it’s just...I tried to tell her you’re a little more modern than she might’ve hoped. In truth I wanted her to let you over wearing breeches. She said it would be fine, but in that ‘it won’t be fine’ sort of way?” Ivy furrowed a brow and smiled. “Sarcastically?” She held Calvin’s hand. “Doesn’t bother me if I have to wear stuff like this at all, Cal, you know that.”

“I don’t want to force you to act any old way, either. I want you to be as you as possible.”

“You mean no batting my eyes and swooning gracefully whenever you walk into the room?” She sighed, feigning a swoon and falling into Calvin’s arms. The two laughed. “No, none of that. She won’t mind that at all.”

“Then what’re you even afraid of? She sounds lovely.”

The two arrived, and Calvin knocked. “Can’t be holding hands fer this bit.” He stood there, seeming nervous to even walk into his own house; his tail was up and his ears were perked as high as they could be. Nina walked to the door. “Calvin. Glad to see you decided t’pop in...where’s that girl?”

Ivy stepped out from behind, smiling brightly. “Hello!” She went over to shake Nina’s hand. “I’m Ivy, it’s a pleasure to me-”

“Pleasure’s all mine, now get in here before the food runs cold.” Ivy’s hand was left there by an already upset Nina...the two were so late!

The three of them sat down to eat; Irish Stew, Soda bread, Coddle, even smoked salmon lined the table. Nina had been working hard all day to get this prepared. Calvin had helped early in the morning, as well, but most of this was Nina’s work. “Ivy, ” Nina very dryly started, “What is it you do?”

“Oh, I’m a student at the university.” She said, trying not to speak with her mouthful.

“What d’ye study then?”

“Liberal arts, but I’m more or less going for mathematics.”

“Oh, good. Y’can help Calvin, he never had good maths scores.”

“Ma, now’s not the ti-”

“Oh, now that ye have a girl who runs numbers, ye don’t want te take advantage? I’m only tryin’ t’help ye Cal.”

“Ma, I understand but I’m done with school fer no-”

“And there’s the rest of your trouble, ye never made it through writing school. Didye even finish that book?” Ivy sat there awkwardly poking her stew, trying hard not to listen to her boyfriend getting absolutely grilled.

“It’s...I’m in the planning stages.”

“Been in the planning stages for 2 years.” Nina said. Ivy spoke up. “Well, he’s been awfully busy.”

“Oh, dearie, don’t let the boy tell ye he’s been bus-”

“He’s the only reason I’m not failing English.” She said. She was trying to give Calvin some sort of ammunition. “Is he now?” Calvin nodded. “She’s doing much better in it since I’ve come along, ma.”

Ivy nodded quickly. “All those author’s names and interpretations…”

“Hmm. Good on you, Calvin.” Nina smiled. “You seem to like my boy.”

“I do, he’s grand!” Ivy said. “He’s always so sweet, and he looks great, too...did his father look like this? I see a lot of you in him.”

“His father did look like him a bit. He’s got his father’s height.” Calvin blushed and smiled, starting to draw into himself. Nina ate a little. “Calvin, don’t hide s’much, no one’s gonna bite you.” Calvin nodded and sat up, and Ivy started to speak. “So what was it like raising him?”

“Oh, it was interesting. Most of it was that cousin of his, Roarke...have ye met Roarke?”

“Roarke?” Calvin whispered “Rocky.” to her. Ivy nodded. “I know him! I can see why it was so troubling, must’ve been nice having Calvin around.” Nina smiled. “Well, he wasn’t the greatest, either...he was usually fairly quiet. Every once and a while though, he’d snap.” She said. “Bouncin’ off the walls, hootin’ and hollerin’, like a mad man.” She glared at Calvin. “Of course, we’ve got that all under control now?” Calvin just...nodded. Ivy blushed. “W-well...if it helps, I haven’t seen any of that going on, so i figure it’s alright.” Calvin ate a bit of soda bread. Ivy looked over to Nina. “So, Ms. McMurray?”

“Nina will do.”

“Nina...how have things been recently? Anything new?”

“Well, other than Calvin being out of the house so much, nothing new. Been pretty quiet around here. Sometimes I actually miss the poor mite.” She looked over at Calvin. Calvin kept eating. Nina spoke. “But no, it’s not so bad. How about you, dearie? He treating you well?” Ivy smiled. “Oh, sure! He really is phenomenal.” She thought of a way to try and keep things about Calvin positive. “You really raised him well, he’s very kind.” She smiled. “Well, I tried hard with this one.”

Nina finished eating and sat back in her chair. Calvin finished as well. Soon the whole trio had finished, and had moved to the sitting room. There was a piano, and Nina had been eyeing it all night. “Calvin, you still know some tunes, don’t you?” Nina wasn’t one to show how proud she was of her kids, but she was certainly proud of this. Calvin shook his head. “Ma, I dunno, I-”

“No, no, I insist! She wants t’hear you sing.”

Ivy looked on with a big, excited grin. “I do!” Calvin headed over to the piano. “Alright...what do we want to hear?”

“Killarney, you sing that one so well.”

“Irish or English?” He asked. Ivy cocked her head. “I’d prefer the English.” Nina smiled. “Go on, Calvin, we haven’t got up to midnight do we?” Calvin shook his head and plunked out a few chords, playing a sour note and starting over. He got to singing.

“By Killarney’s lakes and fells, em’rald isles and winding bays, mountain paths and woodland dells, mem’ry ever fondly strays…” The two listened in as he kept going. Ivy looked over at Nina. It was the happiest she’d looked that night. She gathered from a portrait on the wall that her husband before her was the one who played the piano most. She gathered from Nina’s face that this was what made her most proud; she’d always wanted Calvin to be a singer, but Calvin just had other ideas. Sometimes they didn’t work well with each other...sometimes they did.

“Beauty’s home, Killarney...heaven’s reflex, Killarney!” He played a few more chords and then stopped. Nina clapped loudly and smiled, and Ivy did, as well. Calvin turned around on the piano bench and feigned a bow, looking over and clasping his hands in his lap. “Such a sweet voice on him!” Nina commented. Calvin sat back down. “Are you two impressed?” He joked. Nina nodded. “Yes, yes, of course we are. I dunno why you don’t do that more often?”

“I’m too busy trying to write a book.” He said. He was ready for another jabbing comment. Nina didn’t deliver. “Well, as soon as it’s done, write some poems so you can put music to ‘em. That’s where the money is these days.” She winked. Ivy stood and stretched. “I think I’m gonna get headed home.” She said. “I’m beat.” Calvin stood up. “I can walk you home?”

“Nina, you wouldn’t mind it?”

“Not at all.” Ivy and Calvin walked back. Ivy looked up. “Is she always that mean to you?”

“Sometimes. When guests are over.” He said. “That’s what was making me so nervous, really...she’s very demanding.” He held her gently. Ivy looked up. “Well, don’t worry about any of that from me.” Calvin smiled. “I wasn’t too worried.” They got to her door, and he kissed her gently. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” Ivy smiled. “Goodnight.”

Calvin got home. “Ma?”

“Aye?”

“Did’ye have t’be that mean in front of Ivy?” Nina looked up. “She still loves you, right?” He scratched his head. “Well, of course, but it’s a bit embarrassing.” Nina shrugged. “She didn’t seem t’mind. She was defending you the whole night.”

“Yer saying I’m pathetic now?”

“I’m saying she’s very good for you.” She said. She put a hand on his. “Of course I don’t think you’re pathetic. You’re a good man, Calvin. And she’s perfect for ye if she’s willing to sit through a bunch of Irish cooking and a mean old lady.” Calvin looked confused. “So...you meant to do all that? All that?”

“She saw you being ripped apart and jumped in for you.” She looked over her glasses at him. “I wanted to be sure she would.”

Calvin sat in the chair next to her. “...you could’ve just asked.” He said.

“Not as fun that way.”