#what's it? let's just say. hjhhggghufhhhh all of me. my entire life. everything.
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Petition to Stop the Passage of Time.
#i'm. not gonna make it.#what's it? let's just say. hjhhggghufhhhh all of me. my entire life. everything.#idk i've been having some crazy highs and lows lately i don't even know why. i'm medicated. i should be BASELINE NORMAL#and yet.#every day that goes by i am reminded of how much i ignore and avoid and outright refuse to live my life.#it is so utterly hopeless. i feel like i've failed in every facet of life and i'm scared to get it together.#i've just failed. at being a human. and anyone who interacts w me in person will realize this very quickly.#i can ALMOST. get a semblance. a taste. of human connection online. through art. the life we breathe into it.#but man. it's too late. i'm so far gone.#it's like MAN YEAH nothing will hurt me nothing will happen to me nothing unpredictable will happen. awesome 👍#but at. what cost. the repercussions.#literally literally i just can't let anyone in anymore. i am so fucking guarded. i've completely retreated into myself.#i barely live here. body and mind. but everything is just. so. fucking. difficult. and scary.#do it scared well what if i don't wanna. what if it's damn near impossible to get me to do anything i don't wanna do.#idk maybe it's the sun setting sooner or the years of isolation. getting to me.#i really do feel like i'm on the verge of cracking wide open.
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