#what's brian doing there !!! silly little monkey!!!!!!!!!

[bbbrianjones]

KEITH RICHARDS, MICK JAGGER & BRIAN JONES at the 1964 NME POLL WINNERS CONCERT

[waughymommy]

MOMMY KNOWS BEST 💖

Chapter 9

“So do you think you are done being a big boy today?” Rebecca asked. Brian nodded, still nervous, but a little more at ease. “Good. Now mommy needs you to do something for her. Do you think you can do that, little one?”

“Yes mommy,” Brian said, trying to make his voice sound smaller.

“Ok, mommy put your box of baby supplies in your closet. I’m pretty sure you had another diaper left in there. Go get one and bring it back to mommy. Don’t forget the powder too. I don’t want my baby to pee all over the house,” the maternal voice flowed from her so naturally. She lovingly swatted his naked bottom as he hopped off the bed in search of his supplies. Brian opened his closet and rummaged through his box. He found a thick safari print diaper. He held it in his hand and remembered the first time he donned an abdl diaper. He fell in love with them the first time he put it on. The thickness and the crinkle had made him feel so babyish. Brian let himself grin from ear to ear. Then he saw the onesie with the same safari print and he grabbed it too. He returned to the bed, supplies in hand.

“Oh my goodness, baby boy, this diaper is absolutely precious. Lions and monkeys, oh look at that cute giraffe. Which one is your favorite sweetheart?” the cuteness factor had her so excited.

“Ummm, I fink I like the monkey da best.” Brian tried sounding as little as possible again. It felt weird, but he was going to try and let himself escape into babyhood.

“Oh I like him too. Ok, now lay back honey,” she said. Brian laid back and stared up at the ceiling. “Lift up that cute butt,” she added as she shifted the diaper underneath him. She opened the baby powder and lovingly spread it over his crotch and rubbed it in. The drifting smell of the powder only furthered Brian’s regression. As he stared up, he absentmindedly brought his thumb up to his mouth. Brian had played being a baby by himself on numerous occasions, but nothing quite compared to the babyish feeling that was currently overtaking him. Rebecca finished taping up his diaper. The site of Brian in a thick diaper and sucking his thumb was more than she could take.

“Mommy just wants to eat you up, yes she does,” as she tickled his belly. Brian giggled. Rebecca reached over and grabbed the onesie, “Ok sit up now, let’s finish getting you dressed. Mommy is so proud of her baby. You are going to take the thumb out real quick so we can put that onesie on.” She pulled the onesie over his head and stopped as it covered his face, “Oh where did my baby go? A second later she pulled it down, “Oh there he is. Mommy can be so silly huh?” Brian was amazed at how good she was at being a mommy. It was like she had been taking care of small children for years. She helped him put his arms through the sleeves and then fastened the snaps over his thick diaper. “Just one more thing,” and she clipped his pacifier to his onesie and popped it in his mouth.

“Mommy does not want you to be a big boy at all tonight? That means mommy will take care of everything. So if you have to use the potty, you can go right in your diaper ok?” she said patting his thickly padded crotch.

“But what about work tomorrow, mommy?” the thought of work in the morning raised his anxiety again.

She bopped him on the nose, “We will discuss that in the morning, but for now that is nothing for your to worry your little self about whatsoever.”

She got up from the bed and extended her hand for him to follow her. She guided him to the den and laid him on the couch. She fluffed up a pillow behind his head and placed headphones on again. “Remember, mommy wants you to listen to this to help you relax. It’s going to help you be the best baby you can for mommy. Don’t move I will be right back before I start the music.” She returned a few minutes later with a bottle of milk, “I want you to drink this while you listen.” With that, music started to fill his brain as she walked off into the kitchen to make dinner.

The flow of the milk into his mouth, the thick feeling of the diaper and the sound of the music carried Brian far away in his mind. Time became meaningless. But then, the music grew softer and voice spoke to him. The voice guided him further and further down into a trance. A feeling grew inside of him that he needed to obey whatever the voice told him. The voice told him to imagine picture a baby’s nursery. There was crib and a changing table and so many wonderful toys to play with. The voice repeated that it would be so fun to play in the nursery. But in order to do so, he had to take all of his big boy thoughts and skills into a special box. He even told him to put his potty training skills in the box. But he was not to worry, his mommy would make sure to keep that box safe. Now the voice told him to imagine a different box, but this one is filled with all of the things that babies did and soon as he opened it, Brian would feel more and more like a baby. Then the voice said that he was going to count to five and when he reached that number the box would open and Brian would awaken ready to be a baby.

One….two… three…four…five. Brian felt a rush of pleasure through his body. As his eyes opened, he realized that he had finished his bottle. He wanted something to suck and was about to burst into tears when he saw his pacifier clipped to his shirt. He scanned the room looking for his mommy. For a moment he couldn’t remember her name, it was just mommy. He felt frightened for a moment, but then some clarity returned and he could recall her name. Then noticed a pressure in his bladder, but as soon as it came it was gone again. Brian didn’t notice that he had started to pee. His diaper grew warm and heavy. He thoroughly soaked it, but those thick diapers could hold way more than those pullups. Just then, his mommy, walked into the room and pulled the headphones off. Brian regained more and more awareness. She helped him to his feet to which he felt slightly unsteady. Brian tried to remember what she had made him listen to, but the details felt fuzzy. What he did know was that he had never felt so relaxed and comfortable in his diaper and onesie. Why would he be dressed any other way.

As he stood up, Rebecca noticed that the diaper hung lower on his waist. It was a good thing that he had on a onesie. She smiled, “My baby boy wet his diaper. I am so proud of you. Isn’t it so much better than using that icky potty?” She reached her hand down and pushed the diaper into his groin, “Being a wet baby is so nice and mommy will always be so happy to change you.” She knew that after listening to the hypnosis file, he would be more susceptible to suggestion. It was going to take some time to keep conditioning him, but this was a great start. “I think your diaper is ok for a little while longer. I got dinner ready,” and with that she led her waddling baby off to the kitchen.

[operator-report]

do you have any ideas about the undersiders music tastes. your other posts are so beautiful and true

aaah i'm so glad you liked my silly music posts! after some thought this is what i've landed on for the undersiders: taylor: in my heart taylor's mom did this to her, which is why taylor has a better-than-average teen girl knowledge of blondie, neil young, and the police. i think taylor's taste is a mix of dad rock and alt-pop rock hits. she likes the strokes and arctic monkeys. maybe a little mgmt. after her mom dies she stops listening to music that reminds her of her mom, so much less 70s/80s rock, but i don't think she switches to sadder music or anything like that, i think her taste just skews more contemporary after that. after the bullying started she tried out heavy metal really early on because she figured angry music might help her vent but it wasn't her thing. taylor does not listen to radiohead but she's the undersider who would like it the best i think. karma police is a taylor song send tweet

brian: there's a post out there somewhere that talks about brian listening to imagine dragons and that is SO real to me. he listens to imagine dragons. he listens to "tough" guy music that sounds like it could be in car commercials. he also listens to dudes rock music he hears at the gym. brian and taylor both like to match their music to their workouts and they have an immensely geeky conversation about matching bpm at one point. taylor matches it to her running brian matches it to boxing they are in nerd-jock heaven

lisa: she's a tricky one, because the music industry is one that both values authenticity and yet is extremely manufactured. i think that means that lisa finds music in which rich musicians make music about how hard their life is immensely grating. i think sarah livsey's taste was influenced by her brother, and much like how taylor does not listen to music that reminds her of her mom, lisa does not listen to music that sarah used to like. another smugbug yuri of absence moment if you ask me. anyway all that means that lisa listens to three kinds of music: downtempo instrumental electronic, classical, and We Are Up Partying In The Club Tonight Ooh Girl Oh Yeah. i think she finds, e.g., pitbull and eurotrance endearing. if you ask lisa what her favorite kind of music is she'll say something obnoxious like IDM or some shit just to see what the reaction is

rachel: i looked up "do dogs listen to music" and google says they will listen to classical sometimes, so! there you go. if worm took place a little later i think taylor could have introduced limited doses of lofi hip hop study beats to rachel and she would be ok with that too but also like. why listen to music when she could be outside listening to her dogs

aisha: the undersider with the best taste! we know that early worm aisha is a bona fide scene teen, and i think she consequently likes blink-182, pierce the veil, 3oh!3, cobra starship, and maybe a little bring me the horizon. in later worm aisha's taste gets less pop, like deftones, odd future, etc. she's a supervillain who would actually listen to madvillainy. aisha is also probably the only undersider who actively seeks to cultivate her own music taste! a good chunk of the undersiders have trauma that separate them from their interests and/or feelings, but aisha is an undersider who i think is both self aware and also true to herself, as well as being genuinely interested in art!

alec: speaking of undersiders who have a difficult time developing a defined music taste due to being cut off from a strong sense of self. alec in early worm is too depressed/apathetic to seek out music for himself, he'd rather be playing video games or watching movies. which is a shame because disassociating to music is one of the depressed activities of all time! alas alec's vision of a person with Taste is like. cherie. rip. however, aisha completely turns his life around into a guy who likes...................... soulja boy

there you go! tried to keep this period typical and also didn't include bands we know for sure didn't exist on earth bet (such as mcr). however i am very sad aisha and alec didn't get to listen to 100 gecs together. can you imagine. i can imagine and that's why i have a beautiful aishalec amv set to doritos and fritos in my mind

[rikiws]

GANG!

I have one of those silly little moot thingies!

(No pressure you don't have to do it if you don't wanna!)

But! What music you automatically assume your moots listen to😼���

To me, I imagine you fw brent faiyaz or the arctic monkeys, maybe some Daniel Caesar

Dude how did you know that... I fw Daniel Caesar and Brent Faiyaz HEAVY dawg are you psychic 😨 (Kendrick and Don Toliver TOO THE ENTIRE DAMN. ALBUM SIGH... ALSO KESHI I like too many artists this yap won't end so let me just stop myself) I never really got into the Arctic Monkeys but I still think they're awesome musicians, even if the music doesn't hit for me that much personally

I love this game though thank you for this, forgive me if I get any of you guys horribly wrong I'm a terrible judge of character...also I really like to talk about music so best believe I'll be listing a few songs out and explaining them too, very sorry if its a lot to look at 😭

@sugariricookies : you first ofc. I'd say you'd be into something fresh, I don't want to say cutesy bc its not exactly that but close yk. Beabadoobee FOR SURE and New Jeans too. Glue Song - Beabadoobee : its very quiet coffeeshop meetcute with a ton of flowers involved ykyk Melting - Kali Uchis : honestly any song by her bc CMON. I think it matches what you're like really well, if you don't listen to her much How Sweet - New Jeans : can we bfr this song is so heart emoji and you're also very heart emoji are we making sense

@sungbyhoon : Idk bit I feel like you'd be into something a little darker...? Not maybe something like Alt or Grunge, actually maybe yes if its something like Cade Clair or something, but more like Cigarettes After Sex and Chase Atlantic. Also very chill but less upbeat and more mature sounding I'm so sorry if this makes no sense, Another thing I feel like you'd also judge songs not just on the melody but also the lyrics so: Sunsetz - Cigarettes After Sex : Any song by them man bc they're lyrics are basically always so 🙏🙏🙏 Heavenly - Cigarettes After Sex : "Tell me it's love, tell me it's real" MAN 😢😢 LET ME SEE YA MOVE! - Lumi Athena & Cade Clair : HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT IT'S JUST REALLY GOOD OKAY I'M NOT PROJECTING (I might be)

@copyhanni : hey...😼😼 okay but you're giving me Chase Atlantic, The Weeknd, and Tory Lanez full stop. You'd be more chill but also upbeat?? but like less cute and more roadtrip-with-your-headphones-in-esque: Out of My Mood - brian mantra & gate 문 : I think indie would be up your alley too, esp brian mantra I love him sm Bloody Hands - brian mantra : another one, his songs don't have too much going on I think instrumentally and his tone is AWESOME it's just 🔥🔥 Swim - Chase Atlantic : need I say more the synth and drums are EVERYTHING.

@suneng : okay just because you said you like Sunflower I want to think that you really like Metro and Swae Lee (bc SAME.) Also these songs imo seem really nice to study to, and to me you come off as an academic in a way so I think this fits (STEM girlies 🙏): Too Many Nights - Metro Boomin, Future & Don Toliver : the bass the BASS god I love the bass SO MUCH. I remember being a trap hater when I was like 11 chat I was WRONG. I think you'd fw this honestly I'd say its pretty easy to like and super catchy and just very chill Love me Harder - WOODZ : this is a very bassy music selection I'm gonna be so embarrassed if you don't like bass 😭😭 but the guitar here was life changing I think you'd love this Link up - Metro Boomin, Don Toliver, wow there's a lot of people involved in this one hold up: Afrobeats/Raeggaeton I'm not very sure but its really good sigh...honestly I think any spider-verse soundtracks you'd probably love.

@stariikis : not sure what it is but imo you'd be into maybe something softer ykwim? Def have wave to earth on your playlist somewhere there has to be 👊👊 Kind of similar to riri I'd say something a little calmer ykyk: daisy. - wave to earth : such a good song wave to earth man GOODNESS. I think this is such a perfect song for the vibes you give off The Long Drive - tv room : okay tv room is a little eccentric with the hyperpop and everything but I think this is one of the tamer songs from him, much slower tempo than his usual ones but still super upbeat in a way An Art Gallery Could Never Be As Unique As You - mrld : long name alert 🚨🚨 jokes aside I think you'd be into songs with less synthetic instruments in it instead and this song is perfect for that

@nishiriki : okay I really had to squeeze out the brain juice for this one and its gonna be such a huge stretch but hear me out you sound like you like rap,,, maybe nothing too dark lyrics wise like JID but something sort of playful-ish... okay let me just get the songs out I think i'll make more sense then: Two Tens - Cordae & Anderson .Paak : see like something a little silly but still nice to listen to, like the kind of songs you'd play in the car with your friends, otw to some random place to hang out LOVE. - Kendrick Lamar : again, the entire damn album still has me in a chokehold to this day there's no way. This is def my favourite from them all though (and a huge obsession of mine rn) and I think it matches you really well PICK IT UP - Famous Dex & A$ap Rocky : I was obsessed with this like a few years ago and then that dance challenge came and I got obsessed again. I don't think I've ever seen so many interludes in just one song before and it's so well done like its so goofy oml, no but I'd think you'd be into rap that's a little more upbeat, less serious ykyk ++Blueberry Faygo honorable mention here

chat I may have yapped just a tiny bit...okay but I fs missed a few moots since I haven't interacted with them enough to justify the music they'd be into I think 😭 nah but if you want me to write you in too please let me know bc I'd be more than happy to :)

[lover-also-fighter-also]

Uncommon Character Asks: 1, 5, 14, 40, 43, A, G, H, J

For both Anitha and Ria

Ask list here

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Anitha: Not more than 10 seconds. She needs to do something or she will explode with boredom

Ria: Maybe an hour or so? She is a person whose social battery gets exhausted easily, and recharges after some alone time.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Anitha:

Anitha is more optimistic and she is all about giving second chances. But if they misuse that second chance, nobody in the world can convince her to trust them again.

Ria:

Ria is much more conscious and sensitive about trust. After being a social outcast for years, it is much more easier for her to mistrust people.

14. What animal do they fear most?

Anitha:

Its gonna sound a little silly, but Anitha is not a fan of monkeys, particularly because when a monkey took her snacks from her during a school trip to a wildlife sanctuary. Since then, she remembers to keep her food close to her whenever she goes for a nature hike.

Ria:

Ria has a hell of a fear for lizards, after a fake one was thrown on her as a prank. Show her a lizard and she will run away from there.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Anitha:

Anitha is more accepting of her flaws. She knows that she isn't perfect, but she makes it a point to not let her flaws define who she is.

Ria:

Ria is highly sensitive to her flaws because she feels that it makes her less and unworthy of anyone's friendship or love. It took her a much longer time to realize that those flaws are a part of her, and its what makes her.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

Anitha:

Guys, girls, it doesn't matter. I'm attracted to all of them.

Ria:

I'm only into girls, Brian!

A. Why are you excited about this character?

Anitha:

Anitha was the first choices MC character that I have created. As a huge Harry Potter fan, I've always loved The Elementalists, and after creating her, it feels like a part of me exists in the magickal world. She is everything that I wish that I was a couple of years ago. Confident, Athletic, open and a real flirt.

Ria:

Considering that OG: HSS was one of the first choices books that I have played, it made me excited to create a character with a solid backstory of my own, and have so many headcanons as to what Ria is like, her interests, romance, career and future.

G. What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Anitha:

Maybe that Anitha is sometimes overly-confident and rushes, before thinking of what the consequences to her actions might be.

Ria:

Ria is constantly haunted with self-doubt on whether she is good enough for people to like or not.

H. What trait do you admire most?

Anitha:

Anitha is never scared about what is going to happen to her. She is willing to do whatever it takes to protect her loved ones.

Ria:

Ria is resilient. She never goes down without a fight, and whatever she does, she gives her 100 % effort into it.

J. Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

For both Anitha and Ria, the backstories were my own because canonically nothing was shown about their lives before Penderghast/Berry High. In the story, there are some canon traits that I want to exclude like for Ria, she had no interest in running for Prom Queen, yet it seemed like she was pushed into the role. And for Anitha, in TE book 2, she would feel much more horrible after attacking Atlas with blood magick that it might take more than 2 chapters for them to reconcile.

[zomb-rabbit]

Hii! Im here to request a matchup!

My physical appearance: I have dirty blonde hair that reaches to about my shoulders. I’ve never dyed it btw. I have blue eyes with green around my irises (central heterochromia I think it’s called) and a tiny beauty mark under my right eye. Speaking of, I have beauty marks almost everywhere on my body. I’m 5’4 and a bit chubby but sadly only in my tummy area which I’m insecure about :( I have a vertical labret and a septum. I either dress in the ‘Mcbling y2k’ style (just like shirts, skirts and accessories that relate to that genre) or a band t-shirt and some jeans. I don’t ever put my hair up. I do my Make-up a lot, basically whenever I go out for anything lmao.

My personality: idk if this counts as “personality” but I’m straight and my pronouns are she/her😭 I’m a loud person, like if I get excited or stuff like that. I’m a YAPPER🔥 I’ll talk about anything I know a lot about for hours. I’m the “mom” friend, I’ve been told, but also match the chaotic energy (quote my bsf)

My hobbies: I love baking, just cooking in general. I ❤️ MUSIC. I listen to music on the daily. My favorite artists are Mitski, Arctic Monkeys, MSI (I don’t support their actions btw😟) and Weezer. I go on walks a lot, specially around sunset on the edge of these woods outside my house (ironic given the fandom I know lmao) I love animals, my favorite is rabbits and raccoons

And finally for the relationship preferences I’d definitely want something long term :3

Thank you!! 😽

HIIIIII U SOUND SO COOL WHATT !!!!!!!!!

this is totally my bad for not specifying it, but you didn't put what fandom/s you'd want so i tried to fit you in with them all :)) i hope that's okay !!

EverymanHYBRID ;

Evan !! you two are so silly together, and i feel like you two could get down w listening to MSI together. i think of Evan as someone who knows how to cook and enjoys it- so y'all are a lil cook/baker duo :) y'all can talk at each other all you want about WHATEEVVVVERRRRR u want lolz. i think he'd also be a big fan of your style !!

Creepypasta ;

i was a little stuck between Toby and Ben for this one, but i'm leaning more towards Toby. you two can just keep a convo going for god knows how long on those evening walks around the woods, and he'd love to look for rabbits and raccoons to show you !! Toby also totally gravitates towards mom friends- he loves being able to actually tell that you care about him and that you wanna keep him safe. ALSOOO y'all would bond over Weezer and MSI

Marble Hornets ;

Brian !!! he is a great listener and he loves when you're passionate about what you're talking about. he thinks it's cute how much shorter you are than him, especially when you're trying to scold him about being careful while he's out. he's also a sucker for baked goods- you've got him wrapped around your finger if you start making stuff for him. i can also see him liking some of Arctic Monkeys :)

Overwatch ;

you and Cole could balance each other out methinks. he thinks it's cute how excited you get about things, usually in stark contrast to his slower smooth talkin nature lol. he loves that you try and take care of the people close to you, and he has a craaazy sweet tooth if that's the kinda baking you're into. he'd also love to go on late night walks or drives with you when given the chance

[floralseokjin]

— crystallised 06 (m)

crystallised /ˈkrɪst(ə)lʌɪz/ (verb) make or become definite and clear 

Six weeks, that’s all it takes to forget about the threesome you shared with your boyfriend, Yoongi, and your past... fuck buddy, Seokjin. After all, it’s no big deal. Yoongi and you are doing better than ever, there’s no reason to regret such a night shared. That is until you hear some gossip in the library one day, and then slowly, little by little, everything starts to fall apart... Can you begin to make sense out of all this confusion, or is it too late? 

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  genre/warnings; fluff, fluff and more fluff, smut in the form of dry humping, and did I already say fluff???? here, have some more  words; 10,481

sequel to; memoirs of a mistake and lostmyhead

chapters; 01 ⤑ 02 ⤑ 03 ⤑ 04 ⤑ 05 ⤑ 06 ⤑ 07⤑ 08 ✓

Seokjin ended up staying the night. It was inevitable really. You weren’t letting him go after you’d only just got him back. Not like he wasn’t dropping enough hints though. Could stay like this forever, he’d murmured hot in your ear, your body smushed to his as you lied down on the sofa, watching Netflix again. Some things, you realised, wouldn’t change and actually, it turned out Seokjin and you had already practically been acting as a couple anyway. It was just now he had his arms around your middle, hands woven together and his mouth on your neck. Lips too. Yeah, the kissing fest was still happening. You wouldn’t be able to tell anyone a damn thing about what had happened in the last three episodes of The Vampire Diaries if they asked. 

Spend the night didn’t really have a question mark after it. It was Sunday anyway, neither of you had work and just the thought of doing nothing all day with Seokjin seemed like pure bliss. Your plan had been to call Lina tonight and gush about everything, but you guessed that could wait until tomorrow night. You’d just have to evade her messages until then, because keeping information like this from your best friend was killing you, but also, maybe you weren’t ready for the “Oh, my God, it was all down to ME,” I told you so’s… 

You got ready for bed in the bathroom one by one, almost giddy when Seokjin came out in just his t-shirt and boxers. Knees practically vibrating against one another as he got into bed next to you. His side. You were finally sharing your bed with him again, and then you were a tangle of limbs, his body glued into yours. His legs warm against yours, chest warm, body heat encasing you with the help of his arms. This was it. Pure bliss. How it was always supposed to be. 

In the safety of your bed, surrounded by darkness it was easy for even more confessions to slip from Seokjin’s lips. There were funny ones. Thoughts that slipped into his head. Like how he’d been unreasonably jealous of every guy who’d checked you out at the gym. How your ass had looked quote, “fricking delectable,” unquote, with a side helping of bum squeeze to go with. “Been wanting to do that forever,” he sighed in complete and utter content. You giggled, revelling in it really. How could you not. It wasn’t like you hadn’t ogled him while he was squatting or doing press ups… He was very happy when you let that slip… It was cute to fill in the missing gaps, but there were also unhappy confessions too. Ones that made your heart pang with sadness. 

Every time he’d pined for you. Not far from him, but still deeply out of reach. Like how he’d hated seeing you cry after your argument with Yoongi the night of that party. He was awkward and he didn’t know how to comfort you, but that was because he wanted nothing more than to tell you the truth. The truth about his feelings, and how he thought you should be with him not Yoongi. When he’d walked you home and you’d made to kiss him, (so he had realised) it took him everything not to give in. He knew you were upset, vulnerable and he didn’t want to take advantage of the moment. It wouldn’t be right, but the hug was the best sensation he’d felt in all his life. Then you’d turned up at his door after the breakup. Like some sign from the heavens above he was making a mistake with Jemma, and even if he could only have you as a friend, even if it hurt like crazy to hear you talk about Yoongi, it was okay. Because he had you in some kind of form. The best form. Just you. 

With your glassy eyes, you both began to reminisce into the early hours of the morning. Muffling your laughter at some points because it got too loud and your neighbours would hate you. 

“Was it just me, or when we went to watch Endgame did you get distracted remembering back to that time you gave me a hand job? It was the exact same screen room too.” He spoke into the darkness. Just when eyelids were getting heavy, legs still tangled together, your head on his chest.  

“Oh, my god.” 

“No. Not even in a perverted way. I thought of that as our unofficial first date for the longest time.” He was trying to be funny, but that was actually really cute. You’d held hands for the first time that night. You’d done so as a joke, teasing him. Actually, he’d been adamant it wasn’t a date, not a fan of your jesting. You understood why now. He was afraid you didn’t feel the same. 

“I remember we held hands as we walked back to your car.” 

“Mm. I liked that.” On cue you felt one of his hands find yours to slip them together, kissing the top of your head at the same time. You smiled to yourself. “Let me take you on an official first date.” 

“Where do you have in mind?” The smile was still on your face, could hear it in your voice. 

“Zoo.” He replied matter-of-factly. 

“Zoo?” 

“You pretty much stood me up last time.” Silence. The memory came back to you instantly.  “–annd you don’t remember…” His tone was light, playing with you, but nope, you wouldn’t have it. 

“No, wait!” You exclaimed, turning around in his arms to find his face. Your eyes had long adjusted to the dark, you could make out the greatly amused grin on his face easily. “I do remember! I just didn’t think you were serious.” 

You hadn’t actually figured out what he was trying to do when he’d asked you out back then. You’d been too distracted anyway… Too excited for your date with Yoongi… 

“So serious. So jealous. So sad.” That didn’t help either. He was messing around but it still made you feel all not good inside. 

“Seokjiinn.” You whined. 

He laughed, arms wrapping around your middle to squeeze you to him. “No, but I do really want to take you to the zoo on our first date.” He pecked your mouth, ridding the pout that had formed. “Let’s go Tuesday. We can skip class.” 

“Oh,” you cocked an eyebrow. “You’re making me skip classes already. You’re a bad influence Kim Seokjin.” 

“And what are you going to do about it?” He grinned, voice now a little croaky from lack of sleep. Sexy though. 

.

.

You both did manage to get a few hours sleep in the end. Voices were sleepy, conversation waning off and then eyes were closed. You woke up first. Your body clock didn’t seem to realise when it hadn’t had eight hours sleep. So here you were wide awake on five. Seokjin was still dead to the world though. Hooked around you like some sort of monkey. You wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever, but you forgot the cost it came with. Excessive heat. Maybe you hadn’t woken up naturally… Anyway, somehow you wriggled free, Seokjin not even stirring as he rolled onto his back. You took a moment to study him. Cute in sleep, gigantic lips pouting naturally, forehead slightly creased, like he was dreaming of something serious. The events of the night before were truly sinking in. This was actually happening. You and him. 

You didn’t want to wake him just yet. No. You had a better idea. You were sure you had the right ingredients to make pancakes. First, a quick detour to the bathroom to empty your bladder and brush your teeth – hair too. You knew you looked this unkempt in the morning, but Seokjin wasn’t used to it anymore. Silly of course, like he gave a shit. You tried to keep as quiet as possible when you started finding and weighing ingredients, aware that there were basically only four walls in this open apartment, if you didn’t count the bathroom. Which was just about hiding Seokjin out of view, the jutting wall part of your kitchen storage. 

Distracted from mixing as you messaged with Lina back and forth, (she really did love bitching about this one coworker…), you nearly dropped your cell into the bowl when you read what she came out with next. 

Lina (9:58am)  So are we just gonna ignore the fact u probably fucked Seokjin last night? MAYBE you’re doing it right now  Sorry my bad for interrupting 

So much for evading her messages. Impossible, and now look. 

You (9:58am)  Wtf  im making pancakes like i said  …………. but yeh jin might be in my bed  we didn’t bang tho  we’re taking things slow 💖💘💗💕💞💓💝

Lina (9:59am)  YOU BITCH  WJY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME 

You (9:59am)  i was going to tell you last night :(but got distracted  come over later???? i’ll text u 

Lina (10:00am)  So you actually made a move at the party??  I KNEW IT 

Strange. You’d taken it as a given that she had. Especially with the very direct accusation… Or maybe she just knew Seokjin and you couldn’t keep up this ~friends~ bullshit for any longer. Someone would cave, especially after Brian’s party. A ticking time bomb but no one blew up after detonation. Thank God. 

You (10:00am)  🤔🤭🤫😶

Lina (10:00am)  YOU BETTER SEND HIM HIME TINIGHT  I NEED to know the details  Have fun being a sexy housewife making pancakes  😘

You (10:01am)  hehe 🥰 << me rn 

You were so preoccupied, you hadn’t heard Seokjin waking up, jumping a little when his arms wrapped around your middle, face nuzzling your neck as he hugged you from behind. 

“Where did you go?” His voice was thick with sleep and whiney. 

Putting your phone down, you tried to fight your smile, but nope, this was really happening, and it was better than you could have ever imagined. “I’m making breakfast.”  

“I wanted to cuddle,” he whined again. Sounded cute. “Literally been dreaming about it forever. You’re evil.” 

“Am not.” You laughed, twisting in his grip. “We cuddled all night.” 

Facing him now, you wrapped your arms around his neck, an amused grin on your face. You didn’t think it was possible to cuddle all night, but hey, you’d been proved wrong. You should’ve known. Seokjin was as determined as ever. Only now softer. You liked soft. You liked him.

He squeezed your waist, a pout already formed. “I want more.” 

“Patience, bitch,” you hummed softly, bemusing him for a second before he chuckled. You leaned up to kiss him. “Haven’t brushed my teeth,” he murmured. 

You rolled your eyes. “Like I care.” There were some things you’d waited long enough for, even without realising, and you’d be damned if you didn’t take every opportunity you had to kiss him. One of you had brushed your teeth, that’s all that mattered. 

It wasn’t a showy kiss, mostly slow and lazy. Definitely indulgent though. You almost clung to his bottom lip each time you grazed against it, feeling warmth whenever his breath shook. You felt warmth in the way his hands gripped you too. Safe but free in his hold. Giddy when one wrapped around the small of your back and his fingers grazed the top of your ass. It was exhilarating to feel him touch you so casually. A little tiny niggle of frustration too, because why hadn’t he been doing this from the beginning? You both were fools, but not anymore. 

“What you making?” He murmured when you both parted, curious. 

A hand slid around your hip as you turned your back to him again, picking up the wooden spoon in the bowl to begin to mix again. You gave him a tiny shrug. Not wanting to make a big deal. “Pancakes.” 

He sighed like a king. “Spoiling me already.” Your tut in response choked out when he tapped your ass playfully, wondering off to nose through your cupboards. “Don’t burn them.” 

He found what he was looking for. A box of cereal on the top shelf. “Seokjin,” you chided gently as he grabbed a bowl from the draining rack. “Cereal? Really?” No way could he have room for two breakfasts. 

He grinned goofily. “Appetiser. The starter.” 

You stared him down, practically calling his bluff, but nope, there he went, shaking the cereal into the bowl. Milk following. That’s when you laughed. You couldn’t help it. “You’re nuts.” 

“Yeah, for you.” 

You scoffed quietly at his comeback, a small smile on your face, unable to hide your happiness, and went back to mixing your pancakes. Yeah, it would take a little time getting used to that cheesiness. You needed to step up your game. 

If you were joined at the hip before, it wasn’t nothing on you now. Not that dating changed much overall. If people had already thought you were together, that was only affirmed as you held hands around campus and kissed goodbye at the door of your next classes. Lina was super happy you’d finally admitted your feelings to one another. And not in a gloating way either. Like a piece of fan fiction, she said: The girl who tamed a fuckboy. Yikes, how basic. Sounded like something from Wattpad. You much preferred the trope “Two idiots finally realise their feelings for one another.” Fit you both perfectly. 

Surprisingly, there were no I told you so’s from her, just a rare guilty look as she confessed she felt “kinda to blame.” Her distaste for Seokjin in the beginning may have hindered your view. You did after all keep your hook ups a secret for so long. But no, you reassured her, that was all on you. Despite the great sex, originally the idea of people knowing you’d given into Kim Seokjin was, how should you say, unappealing, but you’d soon (ish) seen how judgemental that was. If anyone was to blame for the delay, it was you. Not that you dwelled on that anymore. 

It was the little things that made you vibrate at a high frequency. Sheer happiness just doing doing the most mundane things. Being able to land a kiss on Seokjin anytime you wanted. Binging so many shows it was probably unhealthy now, yet it didn’t matter with his arms wrapped around your waist. Lying in his bed watching him grow frustrated as he gamed at his desk. Taking him shopping with you and hearing him whine in complete and utter boredom… It all brought you joy. There was no awkwardness, no trying too hard. It just all came naturally. You worked perfectly like this. 

The Pet names started. The first time was when you’d been in near tears on the zoo date. Hating the way the animals were all so far from home and trapped. Seokjin had felt beyond guilty, a distraught, panicked look on his face as he apologised for even thinking of taking you here as a first date. He even said sorry for being shit at comforting you, but as soon as the Baby, please don’t cry had rolled so casually from his tongue, so endearingly in fact, and gentle and soft, he’d done his job perfectly. It was your turn to comfort him. No matter what, your first date wasn’t a complete blow out. You got to feed a giraffe and watch the guy you were crazy about lose his shit over a cute little deer. All while skipping class… Couldn’t get much better than that. 

And for someone who’d never been on a proper date before, Seokjin sure made up for it with you. You tried the fancy dinner route. Found out it wasn’t for you when you accidentally rubbed the eyeliner from your right eye. Seokjin thought about waiting until you realised, but inevitably couldn’t do it to you. Although you were sure it was because he couldn’t hold his laughter in. You both enjoyed simpler, less showy outings, and of course you planned stuff too. When you took him to the gig of one of your favourite groups you thought his head was going to explode. He complained his ears hurt all the way back home. You took the time to rinse him on his own music taste. 

“It’s okay, next time Taylor Swift goes on tour I’ll get you tickets,” you teased. To which he scoffed. 

“You seem to forget I work in a gym. I listen to whatever comes on the radio.” 

Of course you had a comeback. Quick and witty, you were an unyielding duo. “You seem to forget earphones exist.” 

.

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You weren’t one for posting your life on social media. In fact, you didn’t really post on there much at all. Mainly because you sucked at aesthetically pleasing photos on Instagram and regretted every time you overshared on Twitter. And yes, by oversharing you meant an I’m tired after a full day of classes and a shift at work… Seokjin was little of the same, but the first time he uploaded a selfie of you two (a highly unflattering one at that, but hey ho) you may have melted… Made it all feel so real. 

Caption: Me and my baby 🤧💞 80 likes

You: Yes! You’ve finally given in to that emoji life 🤗😍😭 Seokjin_Kim: Yes! You’ve finally learnt proper grammar (Capitalising correctly) 😘  itsholly: so cute!!!  JungHobi: @Joon94 @San_deul That’s it guys… we’ve lost him to luuuv 🥺 hi_itsbri: Legit?! Congrats man!  Seokjin_Kim: @hi_itsbri Legit! Much appreciated!  Seokjin_Kim: @JungHobi So glad I’m free ^_^ Joon94: RUDE  Joon94: @Seokjin_Kim  San_deul: @Seokjin_Kim Nice try. You live with me 

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After that, it didn’t take you long to start double dating. Seokjin wasn’t brave enough to accompany any of your friends yet, despite Lina being adamant her and Jimin wanted to hang out, but you went plenty with Sandeul and his girlfriend. You favourite was the time you went to the VR arcade with them. You’d never laughed so much in you life—nor felt so scared! You also seemed to hang out with Hoseok, Namjoon and their girlfriends a lot, who preferred to stay in most of the time, eating take out or drinking some. It was on one of those occasions that Seokjin adorably got moody because you laughed at Hoseok too much…

“What’s up with you?” You asked, coming out from the bathroom to see Seokjin still sitting on your sofa with the same frown he’d had since you’d left Hoseok’s place. 

“Nothing.” 

You sighed and bounced into the seat next to him. “Are you in a sulk?” As if it wasn’t obvious. 

He shook his head. “No.” 

“Jiiin!” His name left your mouth in a whine as you pounced on him, climbing onto his lap. Despite his one word answers, he reached for you hips naturally. “You’ve been acting strange since the ride back to mine.” You paused to side eye him, sounding snippy yourself now. “Maybe you should’ve just gone home…” 

“No,” he answered immediately, clinging to you tighter. “No. It’s nothing.” You raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation. He hesitated. “Do you think Hoseok’s funnier than me?” 

You stared at him for a moment, a bemused look on your face, because no, that couldn’t he it. Could it? How adorable. “What kind of question is that?” 

“Is that a yes,” he pouted, dropping his hands from you. His jaw tightening. 

“Not at all. It’s a reply of confusion.” 

He sighed. “You’re delaying” 

You had to laugh then. He was being ridiculous. Was he really self-conscious about it? Hoseok was a funny guy, he knew how to entertain, but it wasn’t something you took notice of much. You leaned in, making sure Seokjin was looking at you and spoke slowly. “No. I don’t think he’s funnier than you.” 

It didn’t work. In fact, he averted your gaze to look down at the arm of the sofa. Pout in his voice. “You were laughing all night at him. Ignored me when I said something. I’m used to the guys brushing off my jokes and never laughing, but you…” 

Wrong. You had not been ignoring him all night, but he sounded so dejected you really did think he believed it. You cupped his cheek. “I always laugh at your jokes.” 

“Yeah, probably because you think you have to.” Voice a mumble, you rolled your eyes. 

“Have I, or have I not always thought you were funny?” You’d been laughing because of Seokjin for as long as you’d known him. Even when you didn’t want to admit it. “You’re much funnier than Hoseok. Namjoon? No question. Never met someone so unfunny.”

Seokjin actually managed a little smile at that. Your lame attempt at being funny yourself.

“Yay. That’s what I want to see. A smile.” To emphasise, you pulled the corners of his mouth up with your thumbs.  

“Get off,” he grumbled, but there was now a gigantic grin on his face. “I just need to make sure, y’know? My humour is all I have.” 

You scoffed. “Shut up.” 

“Okay, humour and face.” 

You leaned in once more, tone sincere. “You have way more important qualities.” 

“Great.” He sighed. Fairly dramatically. “Now you’re calling me unfunny and ugly?” 

But mouth already open in argument, he was kissing you with an amused chuckle, not knowing you’d never let him forget the day he worried Hoseok was funnier than him…

.

. 

After a few weeks the novelty of going outside wore off, and soon you were back to staying in. Sharing time between homes, although yours was the preferred, living alone and all. It got pretty domesticated some nights, cooking together, back hugging him as he cut onions because you complained it made you cry. When you said you binged TV too much, you weren’t playing. Somehow you’d completed The Vampire Diaries and were onto The Walking Dead now. Zombies made you a bit uneasy, but actually you found yourself getting quite into it. So into it you searched spoilers ahead of time, too guilty to tell Seokjin your secret. It turned out he was doing exactly the same thing behind your back… You’d both found out your favourite character was soon to die, and reading it had already emotionally broken you, so for now, binging was paused. 

Not that you had much time these days. College was kicking up a notch. You had a final piece that needed to be finished by the beginning of February that was a large percentage of your grade this year and Seokjin seemed swamped with assignments and tests. Along with a part-time job, it was a struggle to find some time to spend together. And that’s how Seokjin convinced you to join the gym again. It was a hard no at first, but he put up a good argument… You could hang out together while he worked and you found not everything was completely body destroying there… You could keep up a worthy enough pace on the treadmill. Look somewhat passable on the elliptical… They were both also very great vantage points for some light viewing (perving) of your man… Squats really were invented for him. Just no one tell him that because he’d get a big head… 

Caption: The only plus side of going to the gym 🏋🏻‍♂️🍑🤤🥵 43 likes 

Linaa: GROSS  Linaa: can you not publicise your weird kinks 🤮 You: @Linaa were you or were you not going on about Jimin’s booty two nights ago ????  You: @PJM tell your girlfriend to shut up  PJM: Guys 😩😩 me and Jin really don’t deserve this  Seokjin_Kim: WHEN DID YOU TAKE THIS?! 

He may have seemed outraged but that wasn’t what he sounded like over text two minutes later… 

Jin💞 (5:47pm)  So I hear you have a thing for my butt   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“You know I can’t control myself,” you told him later on that night when he’d come over, pinching said butt as you hugged. 

“Stoppp,” he whined, bottom lip jutting out but he didn’t sound very believable. 

“What? I can take full advantage of butt squeezes now.” It wasn’t like he hadn’t been doing the same. You try getting to sleep with two hands cupped firmly around your ass. It got annoying after a while… 

He shook his head slowly. Like he was disappointed. His arms still slung around your waist though and a small smirk itching its way across his mouth. “Twisted. Should’ve known… I still get nightmares.” 

You met his eyes, a glint in them. You knew exactly what he was referring to. To avoid all the crude details, let’s just say an experiment might have occurred…to see how much pleasure one could derive from the prostrate gland…  “Shut up. You’re the one who brought it up, so like, obviously you enjoyed it.” You moved in slowly as you spoke, looping your arms around his neck, a grin on your face. 

He sighed your name quietly. “I’d enjoy anything if it was with you.” Dead romantic over some anal fingering. No sarcasm. It really was. You lips were centimetres apart. So close you could almost taste him, but then he pulled away abruptly. “But that’s besides the point. You obviously told Lina–mfphh!”

You couldn’t wait any longer. Kissing him was your favourite pastime, and well, there had been a lot of kissing this past month. Lots of cute kissing. Chaste or stolen. Soft and gentle. Slow. Fast. Lots of fast kissing. Messy and wet. Eager, sometimes impatient. Lots of heavy breathing, warm bodies and ruined underwear on your part… Although Seokjin had his fair share of problems in that area too. An overactive erection. Taking it slow didn’t mean you couldn’t kiss until you were overheating, grind until you were shaking… Grope until you were moaning. 

You were straddling him on the couch doing just that when you heard a voice calling outside your door. Sounded like your mom but god, that would be the worst thing ever. 

“Yoo-hoo! Are you in?” 

Nooo. It really was your mom. Who needed a cold shower at a moment like this? You were pulling away from Seokjin immediately, hazy mind clearing like magic. No one wanted to be caught getting frisky by a parent. It had happened once a couple of years ago and you in no way wanted to relive that. 

“My mom,” you groaned at Seokjin, answering the puzzlement on his face. 

It quickly turned to panic. “Oh shit. What?” You nodded, quickly getting off him to make your way to the door. “Where are you going?” He panicked harder. 

“To open the door.” You laughed. “Can’t leave her out there.” 

He jumped up. “Hold on. Hold on. My dick”s half hard.” Luckily he did remember to keep his voice down, shoving a hand down his pants. “Shit. Try fully hard.” 

“Hide it.” You hissed, not bothering to check what he was doing as you turned your back to him and ran for the door. He was a big boy (HA), he’d work it out…or not… 

You took a deep breath, smoothing down your hair as you composed yourself and pulled it open. “Hello mother. You do realise most normal people ring the doorbell.” 

“I did.” She sassed you right back. “You took too long.” Really? You must have missed that…too distracted. Oops. She walked inside, stopping when she saw Seokjin stood awkwardly by the coffee table. “Oh.” 

You took a glance at him, eyes wide, like a rabbit caught in headlights. You mean, it could’ve been the erection, but also, this was the first time he was coming face to face with your mother. You’d been too flustered to realise that before you’d flown open the front door. Hadn’t had time to reassure and ease him. Poor guy. 

“Mom, this is Seokjin.” You introduced, walking towards him for some moral support. 

“I know who he is.” She smiled at you, before turning to him. “It’s so nice to meet you finally.” Ugh. That was right. You’d spent a lot of time talking about him these past few weeks. Mostly done subconsciously when you were still in the “friends” phase. Yeah. You didn’t think she bought it either… Especially when you told her you used to “be involved” in the past but things didn’t work out. What? You couldn’t call it hooking up could you… It was a nicer way of putting it. Sort of. She’d been eager to meet him for a while now, ever since you’d started dating. Probably why she’d shown up without notice… 

“Hi.” Seokjin smiled. You moved closer to him. Reassuring him without touching him directly. 

“Even more handsome than his photos.” 

You groaned loudly. “Mom, you’re embarrassing him.” And you. For multiple reasons. Yes. She had made you show her pictures. 

She shook her head. “Nonsense. What are you two up to then?” 

She was looking at Seokjin when she asked so he really had no choice but to reply. “Uh… Uh, we were just… just hanging out.” The smile on his face didn’t look too natural. You nudged him. Hopefully enough to settle him. 

“Seokjin had a late class so he’s only just come over. We were gonna watch some TV.” You helped instead. 

“Oh. Sorry for interrupting.” Like hell she was. “You’re a business major, right?” Seokjin nodded, curious as to how she knew. Uh oh. “My daughter’s told me all about you.” 

“She has?” He sounded surprised. Good surprised. Like a lot of gloating could come of it later surprised. And of course, even when he was still inwardly shitting himself, he turned it around, charming your mother expertly. “That makes me nervous.” 

“Only nice things of course.” Your mother reassured. “She never shuts up about you.” 

“Mom!” You exclaimed. This had been what you were dreading. You changed the subject real fast. “What are you doing here anyway?” It worked. 

“Leftovers.” She replied, pulling out a plastic Tupperware box from her purse. “Your dad was cooking again and thought we were a family of ten.” You chuckled, taking the container from her. Classic. You were sure he’d always thought that. You mom took another look at both you and Seokjin, a smile on her face, before she spoke again. “Well, I’ll leave you both to it.” Seokjin couldn’t help himself and laughed at her choice of phrase. You elbowed him. Childish fucker. 

“Thanks for the food, Mommy,” you smiled sweetly. 

She laughed. “Oh, now you’re nice.” 

“I’m always nice!” 

“That’s what she tells me too,” Seokjin piped up, making your mother laugh.  

“Nice meeting you Seokjin. Eat some too.” She told him, directing her head to the container.  “Sorry for my husband’s cooking.” 

He chuckled. “Nice meeting you too.” 

You followed her to the door, nodding in agreement when she told you she’d see you soon. Like you said, life had been busy. You were spreading yourself thin, but not thin enough to go visits your parents. 

“That went well,” Seokjin said as soon as you closed the door. He sounded relieved. 

“It did.” You agreed, placing the leftovers on the kitchen counter before walking towards him. 

“Didn’t have time to overthink too much. Which is odd considering I was hiding a terrified boner.” You chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck. He reached for your waist. “It’s gone now, thank the lord.” 

“You’ve been overthinking it?” 

He nodded “Yeah. Meeting parents is a big deal.” That made you smile. Cute. “Thanks for talking about me so much though. It definitely worked in my favour.” 

There it was. One simple gloat. He couldn’t help it. You pushed at his shoulder. “Shut up.” 

“Okay, I’ll keep my ego down.” He laughed. “Whew. Meeting your mom, huh. It’s getting serious.” 

“Giving you permission to back out now.” You rolled your eyes, but despite playing it cool you couldn’t help but feel giddy at his words. Serious with Seokjin. It was all you’d ever wanted. 

He scoffed, leaning down to place a kiss on the tip of your nose. “Never. You’re stuck with me now.” 

You tried suppressing your smile but failed. You managed to sound casual though. “Doesn’t seem like a bad thing.” 

He smiled back and you hugged him to you. Couldn’t help it. He squeezed your middle as he pulled away to speak. “Maybe it’s time you met my parents soon?” 

Oh boy. Serious it was. 

Not surprisingly, Lina couldn’t comprehend the taking it slow aspect. She knew your history with one another. Heard a few stories she’d rather forget. The fact you were starting from the beginning again – well, you’d never really started from the beginning in the first place, but y’know… The fact you were waiting boggled Lina’s mind. 

“I really did think you’d last a week holding out.” She said tonight, girly night in taking a turn with boy talk. Check you two out, couldn’t last an hour without talking about your men. What had you both become? 

“Like how come you don’t have all this built up sexual tension going on? It’s a love story like no other. You both waited so long to get together, you should be tearing off each other’s clothes. Going at it animal style.” 

“Oh, my god,” you laughed. “Okay, maybe too much wine for you.” You took her empty glass and placed it on the coffee table. She had never been able to handle wine. It turned her into a different person. Tonight, one who was very passionate about Seokjin and you, it seemed… 

“It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with him.” You explained. “Of course I do. But…” You paused, face flushing a little. Maybe the wine was getting to you too. “I know when it finally happens, it’s going to be amazing. The waiting is only going to make it better.” 

That made you both giggle, giddy from the wine and sex talk. Lina reached over for some chips, crunching loudly as she thought something over in that (drunk) head of hers. “Maybe he lost his dick in an accident in between?” 

“He didn’t lose it in an accident!” You laughed. It was like you hadn’t gone into full detail about last night’s vigorous palming activities not half an hour ago. He still had his dick alright.

Lina shrugged, stuffing her face again. “Maybe he has stage fright…” 

She really was determined to get an explanation. Jesus, who’d have thought she’d wanted you to have sex with Seokjin this much? “I don’t know, I find it cute,” you shrugged yourself. He definitely wasn’t suffering from a case of stage fright. He’d had a healthy case of Erection every time your tongue slipped into his mouth. “Romantic.” You mused. “It’ll happen when the time’s right. Until then, we’re building this whole other layer to our relationship.” 

If truth be told, you’d never felt like this in a relationship. All the others seemed like a joke looking back. Even with Yoongi. You’d been searching for these feelings with the wrong guy. Too dumb to see you could have everything you’d ever wanted with Seokjin. You’d never felt this comfortable. This happy. He really was the other half of you. You didn’t care how cheesy that sounded. Even if maybe you wouldn’t admit it to him yet. 

“Yet he hasn’t made it official…” Lina couldn’t help herself. Muttering under her breath but loud enough for you to hear. 

“Will you stop,” you told her. She was also waiting “patiently” for Seokjin to put a label on it. You, not so much. At this point you knew you were both serious. You were in a relationship, just not technically confirmed, and that was okay. Even if you were yet to call him your boyfriend out loud. (Read: You really wanted to.) 

“What?” She feigned ignorance. 

“Being negative. Me and Seokjin are happy. Everything’s amazing.” 

Lina couldn’t stop her smile then, seeing your grin. “I know. I like seeing you like this. I’m just… You know me, I’m suspicious of everything.” 

“Suspicious when it comes to Seokjin.” You corrected lightly. 

She laughed but didn’t deny. Baby steps. She’d gone from despising the poor guy to practically ordering you to make a move in a year, so it was definitely getting somewhere. You wouldn’t forget she’d referred to you both as a “love story like no other” in a hurry though… You wouldn’t let her forget either!   

“Oh, by the way,” she began, changing the subject – kinda. “We haven’t had a chance to double date yet… My parents are out of town for the weekend. What do you think about this: Lina’s Fancy Dinner Party. Got a ring to it, right?”

“I’m shitting myself. I’m actually shitting myself.” 

“Will you calm down,” you laughed, hooking your arm with Seokjin’s as you stood in the doorway to Lina’s parents’ house. “You’re going to have fun.” 

He’d been dreading this night ever since you’d told him about it a couple of days ago. It wasn’t just Lina and Jimin now, she’d also invited Yumi and her boyfriend, Taeil. The impending doom was real and the whole Uber ride here had been pretty amusing. You’d never seen him so nervous. It was cute. He really, really wanted your friends to like him. Not that they didn’t already, but could you tell him? No! He wasn’t listening. 

“Fun? I’m pretty sure all your friends hate me.” He muttered, before his eyes widened comically. “This isn’t some kind of satanic sacrifice, right?” 

“You’ve seen too many horror movies,” you tutted. You glanced at him, sighing softly when you saw the pitiful look on his face. Despite the jokes he really was anxious over this. You unhooked your arms and rubbed his back before straightening the collar of his dress shirt. This was a fancy dinner party after all. There was a dress code, and you weren’t complaining. Seokjin looked hot all fancy like this. 

“Only Lina had some… misjudged opinions on you, and it’s past tense for a reason.” 

Seokjin pulled a face. He still wasn’t too sure about that, but the kiss you landed on his mouth seemed to help. 

“They’re here!!” Interrupted by the clicking of the door and Lina’s loud voice, you broke apart. “Found them kissing on the doorstep!”

You rolled your eyes and clasped Seokjin’s hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. “We hadn’t even rung the doorbell yet. How did you know we were here?” 

“Porch light.” She replied flatly, pointing at you both and stepping aside to let you in. “None of that once you get inside. This is a sophisticated dinner party.” 

“Got you,” you nodded, walking into the lounge to find Yumi, Taeil and Jimin already sat around the coffee table. “Here I was thinking it was some type of orgy…” 

“Now that sounds like a party,” Taeil cheered. 

Everyone laughed at that – apart from Lina of course… and surprisingly Seokjin, who looked too scared to even think about joking around… Or perhaps he just didn’t want to piss Lina off. Suck up. 

.

.

“Get a room you two,” Yumi teased, wiggling her eyebrows as she watched you and Seokjin from over her wine glass. The dinner had been a success – Lina could actually cook. Who knew? Not you because you ordered takeout every time you hung out – and swiftly after that you’d moved onto entertainment. In the form of drinking games. Seokjin had seemed to loosen up by then, actually beginning to enjoy himself without any nerves. He and Lina had a few conversations. He’d even made her laugh which you thought he got rather smug about… After a good old game of beer pong (which wasn’t very fancy at all) you quickly moved onto ‘Never have I ever”, which of course had turned the three of you girls into a cackling mess. Things were said, things were confessed, and you were sure the guys didn’t know how to handle the details. 

Now it was getting late, you were all winding down, sipping on wine or beer. Lina and Yumi were sharing the sofa with Jimin and Taeil, and Jin and you were curled up on the love seat. Definitely a little drunk, giggling and flirting together. His hand casually up your dress a little as he stroked your thigh. 

“Surprised they got out of one long enough to come here,” Taeil commented. 

“What do you expect? It’s only been a few weeks. They’re fresh in the feels.” Yumi almost pouted, turning to her boyfriend. “Babe, do you remember when we were like that?” 

“How long have you been together?” Seokjin asked, and you kissed him on the cheek, proud he was making conversation. You’d been hanging out with his friends so often now it was normal, so it made you happy to know the same was beginning to happen with yours. 

Taeil grinned and got Yumi into a bear hug, rubbing his cheek into hers as he answered. “One year, one month and 8 days. Want me to add the hours, baby?” 

“Shurrup,” she shook him off her, but she was grinning from ear to ear at his dramatic display. 

“Hey, Lina. Will that be us one day,” Jimin teased, draping his arm around her shoulders.

She played nonchalant, sipping on her wine. “Possibly.” Jimin just laughed, greatly amused by his girlfriend’s antics. It was obvious to anyone that she had fallen for him hard. Despite her cool façade. 

“You guys were together before though, right?” Taeil directed the conversation back to you and Seokjin. 

Your eyes widened, unsure on how to answer. “Uh, kinda.” Little did he know that every single thing you’d both answered during ‘Never have I ever’ had been about one another. Poor innocent Taeil…

“Big history,” Lina explained, puffing out her cheeks as she exhaled. They were bright red. She was drunk. Could tell by the way she was keeping everything that came out of her mouth short. 

“I was there when they first hooked up,” Yumi added excitedly. “Well, not actually there. I was at the party.” Valid correction. “I didn’t know until a few months later though.” A pause. 

“Honestly though, it was such a shock. Who would have thought it?” She continued. You shifted a little uncomfortably. You were never good with attention. “You and Kim Seokjin. Mind blown. I always thought you’d rather take a vow of celibacy than get dicked down by. Kim. Seokjin.” 

Okay. So everyone was drunk, and here you were feeling like you were sobering up now. The sound of Jin’s laughter beside you eased you a little. “Let’s quit with the full name talk.” 

Everyone laughed bar Lina, who turned her head to Yumi. “That’s why she kept it to herself for so long. He was her dirty little secret.” 

“Hardly,” you piped up. You got she was kidding around, but for some reason you felt defensive. “Just know what you guys are like.” 

“Well I think it’s cute how you guys decided to give it a proper go,” Jimin smiled. “You’re good together.” 

Before you could say thanks, Lina was butting in. “I didn’t say they weren’t good together. They are! All we have to do now is wait for Seokjin to pop the question…” 

“Marriage?” Taeil asked uncertainly.

“No, you idiot,” she laughed. “Girlfriend! They haven’t made it official yet.” You felt Seokjin freeze beside you. You didn’t dare look at him. Lina was in deep shit when you got home. Wrath over text was a scary thing. 

“Oh, well no rush,” Taeil shrugged. “It took me two months to ask Yumi to be mine.” 

“That’s true. Remember?” Yumi directed at you and Lina. “I was getting pretty panicky.” 

“Awh, I’m sorry babe.” Taeil apologised. You all wrinkled your noses as they kissed, thankfully distracting the conversation long enough for it to change. 

Surprisingly thanks to Lina herself. It was her groan that did it, as she buried her head into Jimin’s shoulder. “My head hurts and I need to stack everything in the dishwasher.” 

“Didn’t you say no more wine a few nights ago,” you chuckled, throwing a cushion at her. She yelped dramatically. When you put your hand down, Seokjin clasped it, entwining your fingers. You snuck a smile his way. Knowing he wasn’t too traumatised by the direction of tonight’s conversation relieved you.  

“Yeah Lina. C’mon. Lightweight,” Jimin prodded her. “We can clean up everything in the morning.” 

“Noo. I think I’m going to be hungover tomorrow.” She whined. “Can someone help?” 

“I will,” Seokjin offered. Shocking you, and everyone else in the room while he was at it. “Maybe some water will help you too?” 

.

. 

“Lina doesn’t hate me,” Seokjin sang in the back of the Uber. En route to his place. 

You were wrapped into him, warm, cosy and a little sleepy. You couldn’t wait to crash out in bed. “Oh?” This piqued your interest though. He just sounded so pleased. 

“Uh huh,” he murmured, kissing the top of your head. “We talked while in kitchen.” Oh okay. So he had ulterior motives when he helped her load the dishwasher. “She’s just suspicious of me. I get it. I don’t have the best track record. I think I put her mind at ease though.” He squeezed you happily. 

Even though you were curious about their conversation you didn’t pry. “She still embarrassed you in front of everyone though.” And you… She still wasn’t let off the hook regardless of how drunk she was.  

“It’s fine,” he sighed. “She put my mind at ease too. Told me I was worried for no reason.” 

You frowned. “Worried? About what?” 

“Asking you something.” Your heart stilled. Oh shit. He squeezed you again, murmuring in your ear. “Wanna take this further. These last few weeks have been amazing, huh?” All you could do was nod. You were getting all hot, cheeks a rosy hue no doubt. Forgetting the Uber driver could probably hear everything despite Seokjin’s low voice. Not that you really cared. 

“I already think of you as my girlfriend. Just too scared to call you it. In case I jinx things. In case you’re secretly sick of me already.” 

You managed to give him a tiny scoff. Voice shaky. “As if.” 

“So…” He whispered. “Will you do it? Be my girlfriend?” 

You swallowed, composing yourself and glanced at him. “You’re really asking me in the back of an Uber?” 

He grinned. “I spot a moment and I’m going for it. Lina’s orders.” 

You laughed, cupping his face. “You know you don’t have to listen to her, right?” 

“I know,” he nodded. “She was just right this time.” 

You turned, resting the back of your head on his shoulder. “I’ll only be your girlfriend under one condition.” 

“Hm?” He placed another kiss on the top of your head, both arms wrapped around your chest. 

“You’ll be my boyfriend.” 

He hummed in contemplation. “That doesn’t sound too bad. May have to think about it for a few hours or so though. Maybe a night–ooff.” 

You cut him off with a whack to the chest, twisting around to face him again. “It’s a yes or else.”

He curled his tongue against his cheek. “That’s hot.” You waited patiently. “Of course it’s a yes.” 

.

.

“Wait. Wait, wait,” Seokjin half panted, breaking away from your mouth. It was a wonder you’d made it as far as his bedroom, let alone his bed. As soon as the Uber had dropped you off, you were on one another. It had finally happened. You were Seokjin’s girlfriend. He was your boyfriend, and now everything was right with the world. 

“Let me do something.” He reached for his phone in the back pocket of his pants, rolling off you to unlock it and start clicking away. “Check your phone.” 

On cue it pinged, still in your purse which had been slung on the floor. You sat up and rushed for it curiously. Laughing along the way because what was he up to? You laughed even harder when you read the notification. 

Kim Seokjin sent you a relationship request. 

Facebook official, huh? Check you two out. He came up from behind you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, his breathing still a little heavy. You had quite literally kissed his face off. “Was just gonna ask you like that but I thought it might me too lame.” 

“Aw. That would’ve been cute.” 

“Fuck,” he cursed, looking regretful. “Second guessing the Uber now.” 

“Shush.” You murmured, leaning back to kiss him softly. “I liked that too.” You were sure the driver really appreciated the cringe fest too… 

Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. 

The noise from both your phones interrupted you this time. You begrudgingly pulled away, looking down at the screen. 

Jung Hoseok commented on a post you were tagged in: HOLY SHIT  Jung Hoseok commented on a post you were tagged in: IT’S HAPPENING IT’S HAPPENING IT’S HAPPENING  Hwang Lina commented on a post you were tagged in: FINALLY thnk me later Seokjin 😘 Kim Namjoon commented on a post you were tagged in: marriage next 😉

Seokjin read them over your shoulder, laughing at your idiot friends as you groaned. “God. You’ll get scared away before we even start.” 

He hugged you closer, kissing your cheek. “Not a chance in hell. Wanna elope?” 

“Shut up,” you giggled. Despite your joking around, you didn’t think you’d ever been happier. You wanted to tell him that but then his mouth was on your earlobe. He knew that was your weakness. He was on his back and you were straddling him as soon as his tongue slipped inside the shell. If he wanted to make you all hot and bothered, a heads up would’ve been nice. You definitely weren’t tired anymore. Even more so feeling his hands drag up your thighs where your dress had ridden up. You viewed him from above, realising you must’ve tugged at his shirt a little too hard already. It was stretched around the collar, a button undone. He looked amazing. You tilted your head to the side. “Did I tell you how hot you look in a dress shirt?” 

He paused to think. “Hm. You may have mentioned it a couple hundred times.” As he spoke he grabbed your butt, pulling you down to level with him. You giggled, letting him kiss your face like something possessed. He paused before he got to your mouth, murmuring sweetly. “You looked beautiful tonight.” 

You pouted. “Don’t use big words to brag on my shitty vocabulary.” 

He looked at you questioningly, amusement dancing in his eyes. Maybe you were still a little tipsy. That paired with the giddiness of tonight’s turn in events and it really felt like you were floating on a cloud of happiness. But it was really Seokjin’s body. Firm and large underneath you. 

You really couldn’t get enough of his mouth. His taste. You think you’d kissed him way over a couple hundred times since you’d gotten (back) together. He argued and said it was more. You didn’t know, you had trouble keeping count. You couldn’t get enough of him. All perfect and pretty and amazing. He was yours. For real this time. Confirmed. Boyfriend. You smiled into his mouth at the thought again. 

“What?” He chuckled, grin just as wide. He knew what. He felt it too. 

“Tonight is the best night ever.” 

“You’re drunk.” 

“Am not.” You quipped. “You’re drunk.” 

“Am not.” His lips were mashed with yours. “I’m just really fucking happy.” 

You slipped your tongue into his mouth, not caring if you turned it sloppy. You wanted it to be messy. You wanted to just let yourself go. To give into every little feeling of pure joy you had in your body. It was wet and warm and sticky, and Seokjin’s hands were naughty. They slipped up your dress, over your ass, rubbing the flesh and pinged your thong with two of his fingers. Your stomach flipped. It wasn’t the first time he’d touched you like this in a while but it was the first time he’d been so blatant about it. The snap of elastic stayed ringing in your ears as you moaned. You uncontrollably rubbed against him. He grunted into your mouth and something throbbed. 

You broke away from his mouth with a pop, sitting up on him wobbly. “You’re naughty, Kim Seokjin.” You scolded.

He just looked smug, a shit eating grin on his face. “Not anymore than you are.” Had you pulled at his hair without noticing? It looked a little wild. Regardless, you were getting distracted again. His hands still up your dress, gripping your ass as he rubbed you against his crotch. He was fully hard. You felt it strain against his pants and press into the pulsing between your legs. 

“Mario is watching us,” he whispered. “Wants to be me.”

“Ew.” You wrinkled your nose. You’d forgotten all about that creepy figurine. 

“Want me to turn him around?” 

You shook your head. “He can watch.” If truth be told you couldn’t bear it if Seokjin got up right now, even if he was coming straight back. You circled harder into him, such a simple pleasure never feeling so good. Moisture grew and collected in your thong. Barely. You were a few minutes away from spoiling his dress pants. He held your weight as you leant back, letting you grind to your heart’s content. 

“Does it feel good? Grinding on my dick like that?” 

“Mhmm.” It was all a moan. Couldn’t think to do anything else. Such a simple way of words but it had you burning up. You’d missed what his mouth could do to you. You’d missed him like this. Memories came back, swarming the front of your mind. Clouding it. So when you felt gravity leave you, back landing on the mattress with a silent thud, you were momentarily stunned. Pinned down, wet and horny. 

“What are you doing?” You gasped, which flew into a moan when you felt his crotch thrust into you.

He spread your legs, dress riding up even more, bunched up around your waist. “Protecting your modesty. Mario’s a pervert.” To give it to him, he really did want to sound causal, but his voice was strained, breathing hard and you rubbed against him shamelessly. 

It was odd. You were beyond frustrated. Craving him like you never had before, but this became enough. Feeling him solid against your barely covered core, starting to thrust into you like he was actually fucking you. It was hot. It was working. It was enough. Just as pleasurable as his dick would be inside you. 

Needy and raw. Messy and crude, but just so amazing. Pent up feelings finally getting their own way. You clung to him, wrapped your legs around him, rutted against him obscenely until you were a moaning, sweaty mess. Simulating sex desperately, because you needed him and wanted him any which way. 

Seokjinnn,” you whined, unsticking yourself from his mouth to catch your breath. Back arching as he gripped your legs from behind the knee, thrusting forward hard. 

He was panting, sweat collecting between his brow which was furrowed in effort. “C-can you cum like this?” 

“Y-yeh,” you nodded eagerly. It was great you were on the same page. Sweet relief was close. It tingled through your body and curled your toes. You were so turned on you’d cum from anything right now. “Can you?” 

“I think so,” he breathed into your cleavage. Mouth now distracted with kissing the tops of your breasts. Your nipples were painfully hard, desperate to be freed from the dress and desperate to feel his tongue. But not tonight. “Actually.” Seokjin knelt up, shaky hands undoing his fly and pushing his pants down to the middle of his thighs. His erection strained against the underwear and you throbbed at the sight. 

“Now I can,” he grinned goofily. He moved closer, and you flattened one of your legs to the bed, letting him slide in between it and the one still folded at the knee. “I’m so hard,” he laughed breathlessly, a hand reaching down to grip his dick. You followed, unable to help yourself. Squeezing tightly. Greedily. “Fuck.” He sounded impatient and desperate, rushing to thrust into you once again. You moved your hand to his hip, holding it tightly as he held onto your knee, gaining leverage to begin rubbing into you hard. “This feels so good.” He astounded and you nodded wildly in agreement. 

You were close. Not long left, and as soon as he began circling into your core, swollen and dripping by now surely, that was it. The final push. “Don’t stop.” You begged, reaching for him any way you could. “I’m g-onna… I really am…” You trailed off, laughing in disbelief.  

“Yeah?” 

You nodded again, words now failing you as the heat built up, body shuddering to its orgasm. Seokjin didn’t relent, circling harder as you came, until he couldn’t take it any longer and collapsed onto your body. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He was spent. Exhausted, sweaty and near orgasm himself. You shifted a little so he didn’t rub against the sensitivity still hot between your legs and let him finish off on the inside of your thigh. You could tell by how his body stiffened, a moan like grunt dragging from his throat. You moaned back, wrapping your arms around him tightly as he burrowed his behind your waist. You clung to one another, both masses of sweat. Heavy breathed and unable to talk for a little while. 

It was Seokjin that came to first surprisingly. Despite practically dying to get you both to cum. He laughed into the crook of your neck, and you looked down at him curiously. He rolled off you a little. Hair stuck to his forehead.  “Jesus fucking christ. Feel like a teenager just done humping my pillow.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “You don’t do that anymore?” 

His eyes widened. “You do?” 

You nodded as you wriggled free from him fully and pulled down your dress. Your underwear clung to you. You felt extra sticky now that you’d cooled down. “It’s a valid form of masturbation.” 

“Well, shit. You’ll have to show me sometime.”

You laughed, sitting up. Seokjin stayed lying down, looking up you with the softest look in his eyes. He was definitely exhausted from all the humping. “Shit. Sandeul isn’t here right?” You hadn’t thought about that before, severely distracted as you’d rushed into the apartment. 

“I dunno. I can’t remember if his door was closed or not.” Jin rolled onto his back, shimmying his pants up. “Oh well. Not like he wasn’t used to it before. Won’t take him long to adjust again.” He shot you a smirk and you giggled. “Wanna shower or something?” 

You groaned. It was too late to shower, and you were tired again, but there was no way you could stay like this. You jumped off the bed, grabbing your stuff that had a permanent home at his place already. “I’ll clean up quick and get ready for bed.” 

“I’ll go after you.” He pulled a face, adjusting his crotch. “Bit gross.” 

Laughing, you stopped beside him and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Wanna go first?” 

“Nah. It’s fine.” He smiled. “I need a moment anyway. Whew.” 

On your way out you paused by Mario, twisting him to face the wall. You winked in Seokjin’s direction. “For next time.” 

.

.

You were tucked up in bed trying to stay awake on your phone when Seokjin came back from his shower. “Near naked?” Damn. What did you do to be gifted with such a sight. You’d seen him come out the shower a few times since you’d gotten together, towel slung around his waist, or watched him get dressed before you went out somewhere, but he hadn’t gone to bed in just his boxers. He better watch it, you’d jump his bones again. 

“I’m so hot.” He moaned. Tell you about it. Although you didn’t think he meant that type of hot. “That was a bigger work out than the gym.” 

“Not used to it anymore.” You teased, pulling up his side of the duvet so he could get in. As soon as he did you were attached to him, cuddling up. “You lied to me by the way,” you murmured, pulling away as you dragged your hand down his chest. 

“Hm?” He looked confused. 

“Remember you said you didn’t have abs anymore…” 

He took a moment to think before he scoffed. “That was ages ago, but these are not abs regardless.” 

“Are to.” 

“Are not.” He tried to pull the comforter up, attempting to cover his body. “This is just normal. I mean, I can try and get them back for you?” 

“Shut up,” you exclaimed. “Really, Seokjin?” You clung to his neck. “I don’t care about things like that. I like you any which way. I really like you.” You emphasised, placing a lingering kiss on his cheek. 

“Get off,” he chuckled. You could feel his grin underneath your lips. 

You buried your face in his neck instead, showering it with little kisses. “I think you’re hot, Hot, HOT anyway.”

He was laughing loudly now, grabbing your elbows to try and push you away. “Tickles,” he whined. “You’re crazy.” You sprung from him as soon as he began tickling under your armpits. Relenting instantly, head falling back into the pillows with a cry. 

“I think you’re hot too,” he whispered, leaning over you, mouth now on your neck as one of his hands ran up your side, cupping your boob gently. “Grinding on me. Making me lose my shit. Only you could make me cum like that… In my fucking underwear.”  You giggled, squirming under him as he growled and nibbled your earlobe. You were heating up again, a fool to his words. But of course your body had to betray you. A yawn escaped. You didn’t even know you’d been holding it in. 

“You’re tired,” he commented, pulling back to push stray strands of hair away from your face. 

“Mmm,” you admitted, eyes heavy and begging to be closed. 

He kissed the tip of your nose. “Let’s go to sleep.” 

There was no point arguing. Besides, it just felt too good being wrapped up in Seokjin’s arms once he’d flicked the lamp off. “Goodnight girlfriend,” he murmured in your ear, shaking you a little when you only hummed in response, half asleep. “Say it back.” 

‘Goodnight girlfriend.” 

“Nooo,” he whined, squeezing you. 

You giggled, entwining your hand with his. You were just teasing. “Goodnight boyfriend.” 

Written 2019. Reworked/Edited 2020 Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2020

[aion-rsa]

F9 Review: Boldly Going Where No Fast and Furious Has Gone Before

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The Fast and the Furious movies really are the strangest phenomenon in blockbusters. Once borne out of the humblest of origins—the first film is about stealing DVD players!—the series has mutated time and again into a pseudo-heist franchise, a pseudo-spy franchise, and now with F9 a pseudo-cartoon franchise.

To be clear, I do not mean this as a criticism or compliment. It’s merely an observation that the espionage thrills in Vin Diesel’s latest joy ride resemble less a 007 flick than what a child might imagine a 007 flick to be before they’ve seen one. If you asked the wee version of myself, who was raised on reruns of G.I. Joe and James Bond Jr., what Bond movies were like, I might say they’re where the bad guy has a giant magnet that catches his Mustang in the air after driving off a cliff, and the good guy then swings his car from a rope like it’s Tarzan.

And you know what? All of that is fine. In the hands of director Justin Lin—who returns for the first time since Fast & Furious 6 to the franchise he saved from direct-to-video doom—it’s even better than fine. It’s the exact kind of lunacy you want from a movie with “9” in the title. This really might be the most asinine movie yet in the series in terms of character motivations and set pieces, but it commits to its madness with such earnest conviction that, like a kid watching their Saturday morning stories, fans will be enraptured by the way Diesel mumbles “family”—plus there’s that Spider-Man car.

The airbrushed theme of family is heightened to soap operatic degrees this time, as well, since the big heavy of F9 turns out to be Jakob (John Cena), the little brother you don’t know Dom Toretto had. The story begins with a flashback to 1989, dramatizing the day Dom’s father died. It turns out Papa was a Formula 1 driver, and young Dom and Jakob were his grease monkeys. But maybe Dad shouldn’t have kept it in the family because he soon dies in a fiery crash, and Dom and Jakob will quickly lose each other in the fallout.

Cut to 2021, and Dom is living his best life in retirement with Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) and his infant son. However, the Family with a capital F soon shows up, revealing their arch-nemesis Cypher (Charlize Theron) has returned. As the woman who murdered the mother of Dom’s child, the paterfamilia is also not ready to invite her to the cookout. Yet things get worse once Dom learns she’s partnered with a high-performance rogue spy named… Jakob Toretto. It’s time for another “one last ride,” and this one will see the family destroy major streets and sidewalks in London, Edinburgh, and Tokyo, plus be rocked by the shocking twist that Han Seoul-Oh (Sung Kang) is back from the dead. Oh, and did I mention the Pontiac Fiero they’re trying to launch into space?

As the ninth movie in a franchise which has seen Diesel drive convertibles between skyscrapers, the late Paul Walker pilot a car out of a moving plane, and Dwayne Johnson once single-handedly catch and redirect a torpedo, F9 still somehow boldly goes where no Fast and Furious movie has gone before. It even leaves one wondering if those weird Fast and Furious and Jurassic World crossover rumors are true, because there are now few absurdities left for these goofy movies to exploit.

Luckily, unlike the bland The Fate of the Furious (F8) or the deadly dull Hobbs & Shaw spinoff, F9 feels like a revival. For the first time since Walker’s Brian “left,” the series is doing more than spinning its wheels. F9 is just as dumb as you think it is, but Lin is able to resurrect the series’ perverse sense of sincerity.

At nearly two and a half hours, F9 is the longest film in the series, but the thing handles surprisingly smoothly. This is partially because with a franchise this convoluted, Lin can rely liberally on the nostalgia of seeing old faces pop up again—they even shoehorn Gal Gadot’s deceased Gisele via flashback. But it’s also due to Lin, more than any other director who’s worked on these movies, balancing the tonal whiplash between melodrama and cartoon histrionics. Somehow his approach finds the precise formula for devoting equal horsepower to Dom and Jakob’ soapy showdowns and the wackiness that comes with shooting a Pontiac into orbit.

It’s a strange alchemy between the stupid and sweet that goes a long way in stringing the set pieces together. Also, since many of those action scenes unmistakably (and regrettably) occur inside computers, the addition of Cena as Diesel’s new foil is a boon for the series. With Dwayne Johnson unlikely to ever return as Luke Hobbs in the mainline movies, the franchise is in desperate neefor an injection of charisma from anywhere—seriously, it’s eerie to see young Dom played with a pulse by Vinnie Bennett—and Cena is more than capable of providing a pick-me-up. Theron is also still on hand to steal the movie during her handful of scenes, including by throwing the shadiest insult I’ve heard in years.

At the end of the day, F9 probably doesn’t need to exist. It’s ridiculous, silly, and often nonsensical. Yet in an era where all Hollywood franchises are endless, and many of them rely on sitcom levels of self-deprecation to justify their returns, the wide-eyed earnestness that F9 brings back, and the willingness to commit to fervent paeans about “family” and “honor,” makes for an irresistible charm offensive. You want to go to their barbecue, and hell, see them probably time travel back to the Old West or the Cretaceous period in the next film. Bring on “Back to the Furious.”

F9 opens only in theaters on Friday, June 25.

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[nerianasims]

Billboards #1 1965

Under the cut.

Petula Clark – “Downtown” -- January 23, 1965

I love this song to bits. I don't entirely know why. Petula Clark obviously sings it wonderfully. There's that little bell that sometimes chimes in. There's a pattern to the song that makes it feel like Broadway, which is, of course, downtown. It's a fantasy version of a downtown in a big city. One thing I love about fantasy is a sense of place, and that's what this entire song is dedicated to. It's an unusual subject for pop music, and it's great.

The Righteous Brothers – “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” -- February 6, 1965

How does one even talk about this song? It feels somehow eternal. This is Phil Spector's production at its best. But Bill Medley's singing is the point. This song is one of the greats.

Gary Lewis And The Playboys – “This Diamond Ring” -- February 20, 1965

Gary Lewis is Jerry Lewis' son. Unlike his father, he does not consist entirely of annoyance-producing molecules, but the song's not good either. In it, the guy's fiancee dumped him and he's selling the diamond ring. A boring, bland heartbreak song that belongs three years or so back.

The Temptations – “My Girl” -- March 6, 1965

My mom used to sing this song to me when I was a little kid. I think a lot of parents sing this song to their little girls; it's that kind of love song. Yet it's not irritatingly antiseptic. It's about true love. True love can be a lot of things. This song is every superlative you can think of. Brilliant in every aspect.

The Beatles – “Eight Days A Week” -- March 13, 1965 

It's a good, but not great, Beatles song. Very fun, with a lot of interesting things musically, like the bassline (as usual) and whatever George Harrison does with his guitar.

The Supremes – “Stop! In The Name Of Love” -- March 27, 1965

Finally, Diana Ross actually sounds kinda pissed off. It's also got more of a rock edge. She's still begging, and not threatening to leave the guy's cheating ass. Yet, though there is no explicit threat, I feel like there is an implied ultimatum here.

Freddie And The Dreamers – “I’m Telling You Now” -- April 10, 1965

It sounds like this guy is exaggerating his English accent. Considering the British Invasion, probably. He cackles like a monkey on acid, which is the only interesting thing about the song, which is otherwise a bland love song. Though the cackle is interesting, that doesn't make it good. It's creepy. I don't like this one.

Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders – “The Game Of Love” -- April 24, 1965

"The purpose of a man is to love a woman, and the purpose of a woman is to love a man." Whoo boy. Dated. But the song is 55 years old. Attempting to put that aside, the music is good. The lyrics sound pushy, though. Also it gets terribly repetitive at the end. Meh.

Herman’s Hermits – “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter” -- May 1, 1965

Was it once usual for guys to go to their ex-girlfriends' mothers to talk of their heartbreak after the girlfriend dumped them? This song is painfully "look how English I am! You Americans like to throw money at English pop singers, right?" It wears out its welcome quickly.

The Beatles – “Ticket To Ride” -- May 22, 1965

It's interesting how the Beatles seem to have matured five years in one. I can't imagine this group having performed "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The harmonies and rhythms in "Ticket to Ride" are far more complex, the sounds are more varied, and the lyrics are much more mature. His wife/girlfriend is absolutely determined to leave him, and he seems taken by surprise. Yet there are hints he shouldn't have been: "She would never be free when I was around." He goes on, "My baby don't care." Yet underneath there's the suggestion that she simply hasn't got it in her to care any more, because he's exhausted her. Layers of harmony and layers of meaning. It's an intelligent heartbreak song, and those are rare.

The Beach Boys – “Help Me, Rhonda” -- May 29, 1965

I know Brian Wilson was a musical genius but I usually don't like the Beach Boys. It's the lyrics. The narrator was dumped, now he's begging Rhonda to be his rebound. Lucky Rhonda. Then they sing "Help me Rhonda/ Help, help me Rhonda" about five dozen times. Not for me.

The Supremes – “Back In My Arms Again” -- June 12, 1965

Urgh. Don't listen to the Supremes' #1 hits close together. She's got her man back because she stopped listening to her friends' advice. In isolation, there's nothing wrong with that. After all the songs about rotten cheating assholes whom the narrator is desperate to keep, though, it's super uncomfortable. Also using the names of the two backup singers as the friends who give bad advice is in poor taste. And "Flo, she don't know, cuz the boy she loves is a Romeo"? You solely date Romeos! Taken alone, without the context of the other songs, it's good, though I still don't like the strange insult toward the backup singers. Taken with the rest of the Supremes' hits, though, I'm not happy. Especially considering these were all written by men.

The Four Tops – “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)” -- June 19, 1965

The Supremes weren't the only people in Motown singing about being hopelessly in love with someone who treated them badly. That's what this song is about. I like it, though the line "I'm weaker than a man should be" is a bit wince-inducing these days. But it's an honest sentiment about how men often feel they're not allowed to be idiots over love, though that's a near-universal human experience. Anyway, good song.

The Byrds – Mr. Tambourine Man -- June 26, 1965

The original version of this song was by Bob Dylan, but the Byrds didn't like it, so they changed the sound and ditched a bunch of the lyrics. The lyrics they were left with don't matter at all. This is all about the music, especially the guitar. It's mellow without being soporific, groovy without requiring drugs to understand. It's nice.

The Rolling Stones – “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” -- July 10, 1965

The Rolling Stones were almost never nice. They went straight for the gut -- or gonads -- found all the nastiest things that people are afraid to say and embarrassed to feel, and hung them up on the front porch. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" sounds kind of silly today, since it's been played and overplayed so much. But that beginning riff still goes straight to the back-brain.

Two years before, pap like "Hey Paula" was clogging the airwaves. Funnily enough, it's the same subject matter: Goddamn I want to get laid. (The idea that Mick Jagger had trouble getting laid is pretty ridiculous, but anyway.) And then there's the critical bit about hating advertisements. They managed to stick a cultural criticism into a song that's about wanting sex. When you can't get no satisfaction, everything is annoying, and things that were already annoying to begin with start to feel unbearable. The Stones go harder in every way than any #1 before them.

Herman’s Hermits – “I’m Henry VIII, I Am” -- August 7, 1965

And here's the opposite. This song must be meant to be annoying, right? One of my friends and I used to sing it at our parents to drive them nuts, and that was before Ghost. It was their fault for exposing us to it in the first place.

Sonny And Cher – “I Got You Babe” -- August 14, 1965

Cher with Sonny is eternally confusing. Though their marriage didn't last, their love was real, and Cher was heartbroken when Sonny died. But anyway, the song. Sonny saying Cher has a "little hand" is goofy. Actually the whole song is kinda goofy, especially the beat that seems to be made of kazoos. Cher's got this powerful, deep voice, while Sonny has a squeaky little thing, but somehow they mesh. The sentiment is sincere, and a good picture of what it's like to be in a happy relationship. It's good.

The Beatles – “Help!” -- September 4, 1965

John Lennon was only 25 when he sang about being "younger, so much younger than today." But for the Beatles, that could have been two years before. They got so famous so fast and so young, I don't know how any of them lived through it. And that is what this song's about; Lennon called it a "public freak-out." But it's still universal. I love this song, and it helped carry me through some tough times.

Barry McGuire – “Eve Of Destruction” -- September 25, 1965

I remember when I first heard this song on the radio in the car with my mother, I asked her what "Old enough to kill/ But not for voting" meant. That's when I learned people used to not be able to vote until they were 21, though young men could be drafted at 18. I was absolutely stunned, and obviously it stuck with me. When you're a little kid, you tend to think the people in charge are generally fair. Then you find out that's not true at all. That's what this song is about, to me.

The McCoys – “Hang On Sloopy” -- October 2, 1965

Speaking of fair, I'm about to be totally unfair. I hate this fucking song. I had to play it endlessly in middle school band, and then I had to play it AGAIN in high school marching band. And the flute part in the arrangements was the most boring thing that has ever been conceived. I hate this song and I will not be listening to it or thinking about it more than this.

The Beatles – “Yesterday” -- October 9, 1965

Why do people in songs lose their significant others so often because they said something wrong and they don't know what it was? That can't be common. Anyway, this song is beautiful and sad. I'm kind of tired of all the covers of it though.

The Rolling Stones – “Get Off Of My Cloud” -- November 6, 1965

I'm listening to the original mono version of this, and mono sounds very strange these days. I keep wanting to check that my speakers are plugged in. Anyway, thanks to Jagger's marbles-in-mouth singing, I can't understand a word of this song except "Hey! you! get off of my cloud!" and I've never known the lyrics until now. And they're not important. Even the chorus isn't that important. This is all about the beat and the music, neither of which I find interesting for the entire length of the song. Not for me.

The Supremes – “I Hear A Symphony” -- November 20, 1965

A thoroughly happy Supremes song! I think Diana Ross is more suited to happy lovesongs than what she had been singing. She has a lot more emotion in her voice than she has before. The violins are lovely. I love this song.

The Byrds – “Turn! Turn! Turn!” -- December 4, 1965

I have always found this song slightly annoying. The Bible verse set to light pop thing doesn't do it for me. The music isn't anywhere near dramatic enough. This should be operatic, or heavy metal, or something else with serious weight. This is thin.

The Dave Clark Five – “Over And Over” -- December 25, 1965

This song is a bit of a throwback to three or four whole years before. It would have been good then. At this point, it's pretty boring. It's about going to a party he didn't want to go to, hitting on a girl, and getting turned down. The snare drum beat is very repetitive, and so is the melody. A big meh.

BEST OF 1965: "My Girl", with stiff competition.   WORST OF 1965: "I'm Telling You Now"

[mst3kproject]

Tobor the Great

This was a movie YouTube thought I ought to watch. It’s so bad even Leonard Maltin didn’t like it.

Two scientists, Dr. Harrison and Dr. Nordstrom, are concerned about the effects of space travel on the human body, and so they attempt to convince the Civil Interplanetary Flight Commission (think NASA, but with funding) to use an alternative form of test pilot.  No, sit down, dog- and monkey-lovers in the audience, I’m talking about a huge, unwieldy, unnecessarily humanoid robot!  Obviously, foreign agents want to steal this machine and turn it into a huge, unwieldy weapon instead of a huge, unwieldy astronaut, but Nordstrom’s grandson Brian saves the day using his special telepathic link with Tobor!

The movie does not believe we’re smart enough to figure out why the robot’s name is Tobor.  It spells it out for us, literally and on more than one occasion.

Tobor the Great is a children’s movie – the main character is eleven-year-old Brian, who is mostly addressed by his nickname, Gadget or Gadge.  He’s established as an engineering genius in his own right, who gets to hang around in his grandfather’s lab and make friends with this cool robot.  He’s what every white American boy in the 50’s was supposed to want to be.  All of which makes it sort of weird that we don’t meet him until nearly fifteen minutes into the movie.

Consider some better children’s movies.  In Coco, Miguel is the literal as well as the metaphorical narrator – we begin with his voice telling us the backstory.  Lilo and Stitch gives us one title character almost immediately, and then brings in the second as quickly as it can to get us to the point where they meet.  Of course, you don’t have to introduce the main character first in a movie, but if you’re going to put it off you have to do it skillfully.  Star Wars takes its time getting around to Luke Skywalker, but it’s already given us somebody to follow in the form of C-3P0 and R2-D2, who make good audience proxies because 3P0 doesn’t know what’s going on any more than we do.  Tobor the Great lets nearly a quarter of its running time go by before we finally meet Gadge, and even more before we get to Tobor himself, and that time is spent setting up what seems to be a rather different movie.

The opening does establish the need for Tobor, but it takes way too long about it.  We start with narration and stock footage about the American space program, which is as deathly boring as it always is in these movies. Maybe it seemed more exciting in the fifties, when space rockets were the coolest thing around.  Then we get into Dr. Harrison and his complaints about unsafe practices, which lead to his resignation and to him trying to dodge the press before meeting the likeminded Dr. Nordstrom.

These seem like strange things to put in a children’s movie. I feel that a lot more time is spent justifying the need for a robotic astronaut than is really necessary, and the early close focus on Dr. Harrison makes it seem like he’s going to be our main character – but he fades into the background once we get to Dr. Nordstrom’s lab and at the end he’s not much more than a completely unnecessary love interest for Gadge’s widowed mother.  In Star Wars the two droids stick around and participate in the plot for the whole movie – Dr. Harrison doesn’t.  The politicking within the CIFC is not something children are likely to be interested in, nor is the nagging newspaper man, and all of these scenes are just guys in suits talking.  Very little actually happens and none of it involves robots carrying off beautiful women like the poster shows us!

The annoying reporter is a particularly odd inclusion. His name is Mr. Gilligan, which Joel and the ‘bots would have found hilarious.  I went into Tobor the Great totally blind, having never heard of it when the thumbnail appeared in my YouTube recommendations, but if I’d read a plot summary or something beforehand, maybe I wouldn’t have expected Gilligan to play a major role in the plot.  As it was, I figured he was either a Soviet spy or would unintentionally pass information on to them – but he vanishes after the first press conference, and the question of whether he has the right to compromise national security in the name of selling newspapers is never dealt with.  Instead the spies are a bunch of guys we’ve never seen before.

Once all this is over with, though, we do finally get to see Tobor strut his stuff.  Nordstrom and Harrison work on programming him to do things like type reports to be sent back to Earth and dodge meteor showers (as all 50’s space rockets had to do), while Gadge sits and watches… and does very little else.  You’d think this part of the movie would continue the thread of Gadge being the equal of the adult scientists, maybe overlapping with him and Tobor bonding, but there’s almost none of either.  Why set up Gadge as a prodigy if you’re not going to make use of it?  At the climax we expect Gadge to save the day by figuring something out, as he showed he could do earlier.  Instead he just shuts his eyes and thinks really hard at Tobor, like Ichi trying to summon Gamera. It works, but it’s not as satisfying as it could have been.  At the end the movie has neatly avoided almost all of its potential and anything that might have been cool to watch, and failed to give us anything it seemed to promise.

To make things even worse, Gadge is played by one of those insanely cloying 50’s child actors who say things like “oh, gosh!” and “gee whillikers!”  I cannot imagine anybody actually talking like this.  Actor Billy Chaplin sure makes it sound fake as hell.  While Chaplin is a decent actor physically, everything he says sounds stilted and unnatural, like he’s reading it off notes while trying to project his voice to a full auditorium.  The adult actors are much better, which just makes Chaplin look all the worse by comparison.

Tobor, on the other hand, is wonderful, in the ‘stupid cardboard movie robot’ way that makes Torg from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the delightfully awful robot of Devil Girl from Mars so much fun.  It’s got lots of blinky lights and moving parts, and stamps around with a pretty convincing sense of weight.  Unlike some movie robots it actually moves at a good clip when it wants to, perhaps helped by the fact that it has working knees.  The movie makes the point that Tobor is a large and dangerous piece of kit at the same time as it’s able to be gentle and dexterous, which reinforces the idea that it would be frightening as a weapon.

My favourite part is when Tobor drives a car.  I wonder if the guy in the costume could see anything. That must have been a hell of a day on set.

What you want me to get back to, though, is the bit where the robot is psychic.  Yes, that’s actually the premise of this movie, a telepathic robot!  I’m not sure how plausible that would have seemed in the 50’s, even in such an explicitly silly movie.  Dr. Nordstrom doesn’t expect the reporters to believe in it without a demonstration, and yet the same decade also produced films like The She-Creature that present such ideas with an entirely straight, albeit incompetent, face.  Psychic powers as hard-ish sci-fi seems to have gone out of style by the 90’s, and nowadays it sounds like something you’d see in the Weekly World News.

Man, I miss the hard copy Weekly World News.  It was so nice to have that little isle of humour in the sea of garbage that was (and still is) the supermarket tabloids.  Remember Hilary Clinton’s space-alien lover?  Classic.

The function of telepathy in this story is not just to give Gadge a way to summon the robot after the spies break Nordstrom’s control mechanism.  It is also a means whereby Tobor may acquire human traits and emotions.  How to make a robot feel things is a perennial problem in science fiction… a lot of the time the mechanism is simply glossed over, as an artificial intelligence becomes more human by interacting with humans. Emotions are just chemicals in our brains, though, and the more we learn about how they work, the harder it gets to justify a machine feeling them.  In Star Trek: the Next Generation Data and Lore have a special bit of hardware that must be installed to enable emotions, and really seem like they’re better off without it. In Saturn 3, Hector has a processor made of cloned brain cells that can produce their own chemistry, as well as a direct neural uplink to its programmer.

As such solutions go, I actually kind of like how Tobor the Great goes about it, even if the mechanism is silly.  Rather than having emotions of its own, Tobor senses and mirrors those of the humans around it.  When Gadge is panicking, worrying that Tobor is out of control, Tobor panics and goes around smashing things, thus making for a self-fulfilling prophecy. When Gadge thinks of Tobor as a hero, the robot comes to his rescue, carrying him to safety like a rescued princess, and responds to the anger and rage of the spies by turning these emotions back on them and beating them up.  This is quite different from many ‘emotional machine’ stories, in that it doesn’t actually require Tobor to be in any way self-aware.

Unfortunately the movie is not very consistent about this. There’s a scene in which Tobor gets frustrated and breaks stuff after being put through too challenging a simulation, which does imply that the robot has an intelligence and emotional capacity of its own.  This bit has a purpose, as it serves to make us worry that Tobor will be unable to tell the difference between friend and foe at the finale, but it just doesn’t fit with the way this machine is treated in the rest of the movie.

Like many others both from MST3K and from the Episodes that Never Were, Tobor the Great has a couple of good ideas at its core.  It even predicted how much easier and safer it is to send robots into space than people, although those robots don’t look much like the lumbering humanoids of 50’s sci-fi. Sadly, the film is uneven, rushed, and poorly-acted, and nothing particularly fun or exciting happens in it. Various people over the years have seen its potential and Tobor has starred in a couple of comic books and an unproduced TV pilot, but these never went anywhere either.

[ellus986]

Always knew you / chapter eightteen

Joe Mazzello x reader

Warning: little smuth, a little angst but nothing else 🤪

Comment: Y/N is corrently 22, while Joe is 36.

Summary: you knew Joe all of your life, and as best friends you two always find the way back to each other.

Joe asked you to leave him alone for an hour in one of the rooms in the villa. You couldn’t figure out what was his plan, until your phone buzzes on the table, next to your sunbed.

•Joe Mazzello is Bored uploaded a new video - This just happend•

You open it, and your heart is full. It is you in your white dress dancing with Brian, but you can see Joe, and Gwilym in the corner watching you, drinks in they hand. The DJ shifts song, and under pressure starts.

“Yo VIP!” Starts Vanilla Ice.

“Oh fuck off!” Comes from you and Brian in choir turning to the DJ.

“I married the right woman!” Turns Joe to Gwilym with shining eyes.

True Mazzello YouTube post, just one minute, funny and all of that. You love it. You scroll down to read the caption: “Watch my beautiful wife proving I did the right thing when I said “I do” hours before this happend.”

You see the top of his head emerge behind the wall before his face shows up. “Did you hate it? Oh God you don’t like it!” He puts his hand over his eyes.

“No Silly I don’t like it, I love it!” You smile at him, and he is coming out from the cover of the door.

“Really?”

“Monkey! It was perfect! It is nothing more than your style on YouTube what fans, and mostly I like about you. It was the perfect way to tell your fans that there is no more chance to hit on you, you are taken!” You giggle as you stand up, and walk there to hug him.

“Wish I could’ve film this!” He laughs in your mouth.

“Oh you wish!” You giggle before kissing him. “So you needed the time for this?”

“I didn’t needed to watch every video, the camera man told me I should looking for this!”

“So you did have help!” You put your head on his chest, his heart beats so fast. “You are nearvous?”

“Yes, I’m!”

“Why?”

“Why? Because I don’t wanna divorce!” He looks at you like you are an alien.

“Divorce? Are you out of your mind? I love you, you don’t love me anymore?” You mimic panic.

“Ofcourse I love you Silly!” He pulls you closer in his arms. “I’m happy you like it!”

“You should be more confident in our life, because if not you will be panicing all of it for nothing!” You can’t help but giggle into his chest, while he is playing with your hair.

“Did I say I’m the luckiest man?” He mumbles into your hair.

“A million times now, and I always told you, just after me!”

____________________________________

You wake up to kisses all over your face, and a hand gently smoothing your hair. “Mornin’ beautiful! You finally slept in!” Chuckles Joe into your ear.

“Good morning! You mean on the last morning of our one and half month trip?” You nictate at him.

“Better than nothing!”

“Defenetly!” You run your fingers in his facial hair. “I like it!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, like it when it touches my thighs!”

“Ooh, if I knew, I wake you up there!” His eyes are full of lust as he slowly slides down next to you, gets the blanket down, and lays between your legs. “But I can still make this!” He rubs his face to you inner thigh, making you shiver. He gets closer and closer scratching your skin. First he just touches you with his nose, gently robbing it to your clint, making your head fall back to the pillow. The first scream lefts your mouth when he starts to lick your cunt. His experienced moves are making you crazy.

“This is one of the many reason I choose you over any guy at my age!” You groan, as he speeds up, and you get close to the edge.

“What, Silly?” He stops, but makes sure his breath is making you lose your shit.

“You know what you are doing!”

“You like what I do?” He licks you slowly, teasing you.

“No...” you shiver as he madly blows your cunt. “I love it!” You scream, as he starts his magic again. It does not take long for you to cum on his mouth, and his fingers are carving in your skin as he is about to make it last longer and longer.

A hurried knock gets you back to reality. “Mr. and Mrs. Mazzello I’m sorry for annoying you, but your car had arrived!”

“Thank you! We will be out in 10 minute!” Joe yells as he gets up and helps you up too. “I guess I need to wait until we get home!” He kisses your cheek before heads off to the bathroom. You get your dress up and smooth the fabric on your belly. It is getting bigger, and rounder even you still don’t look that much pregnant for strangers. “Can’t wait to feel the first kicks.” Joe moans into your ear as he puts his hand on your bump.

“Me too!” You nod, and lean into his body. “Still can’t believe we are this lucky!”

“Me neither!”

Ten minute later you are all packed in the car and sit in the back seat. You hold your husband’s hand, and it feels so great, so natural. My happy ending from Avril Lavigne comes in the radio and memories are hitting you.

You are sitting next to Joe as he picked you up from your now ex-boyfriend’s home. You were together for 6 months by now, and you finally started to see he could be more than the man next to you, but than he just speaks up about cheating on you in the last two months everytime he just could. You were heart broken, betrayed, but not by your best friend. He was home for thanks giving, and you are so glad you can count on him. You sing, scream, who knows what your heart out. “You were everything, everything that I wanted, We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it, And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away, All this time you were pretending,So much for my happy ending”.

“Will you tell me what happend?” He asks as the rain starts.

“I’m happy I didn’t changed to the pill from condoms, that happend!” You yell, you are not mad at him but at the whole shit.

“What?”

“He fucked everyone who let him!” You cry out. The car just stops as Joe hits the break and turns back. “What are you doing?” You ask, but he does not answer. He stops the car infront of the house you never wanted to see again, gets out without a word. He knocks on the front door and as Alex opens it his hand flies trought the air and his fist just hit his face so hard.

“I hope you got something ichy!” He yells showing his middle finger back as he walks back to the car. As he sits in and moves the gear shift you see his bloody knobbles.

“You hurted yourself!” You whine.

“Not really, it came out of his nose!” He pulls his shoulder as he drives as a lunatic from the adrenalin.

“Are you out of your mind?” You ask, as you look at your 31 years old friend, who feels like a teenager sometimes.

“Yes!” He admits. “He never deserved you, but this... this was even low for him!” He yells. “I... I would...”

“You would what?”

“I... never mind!” He mutters as he stops at your house.

“Joe come in, I want to make sure you did not hurt yourself!” You open the door on his side as you are already out.

“No need for that!”

“As it was no need for hitting him, but you did, so now I will clean your hand and make sure you have no injuries!” You pull him out of the car, and walk him into the house.

As you lead him to the bathroom your mother screams in the hallway. “What happend?”

“Alex broke up with me!” You yell as you are already in the bathroom.

“And I hit him!” Continues Joe.

“What? Why?” Comes in your mother. “What happend honey?”

“He fucked every living human who let him in the last two months!” You are not crying this time, you just mumble it. “Joe turned back when I told him, and acted like a teenager!” You start to clean his hand.

“Are you okay honey?” She asks while kissing the top of your head, as you nod she leaves the two of you alone, but you can hear her from the hallway. “You did the right thing, Joey!”

“What are you thinking about?” Pulls Joe back you to reality. “Just not about what you are going to do with me when we get home?” His grin tells everything about what he wants you to do.

“No, I was thinking you were always bye my side!” You look at him with so much love in your eyes. “You remember this song?”

“Nooooo?!?” He looks so confused.

“I was singing it when you picked me up from Ale...”

“Don’t even say that bastards name!” He cuts in.

“But now I know what you wanted to say, and if I’m honest with myself I wanted you to say it!” You admit, but he raises his eyebrow with confusion on his face. “You said: I...I would... but I was angry and interrupted you before you cloud finish it, and never wanted to finish it even I was waiting for it...”

“You were in that perfect yellow flowery dress you had on on our engagement party.” Again he remembers it like it was yesterday, as always you speak about something in your past together. “ Your eyes were full of tears but you looked beautiful as always, and yes I wanted to tell you I would treat you better, that I would be so much more good for you, but weren’t sure it would be proper, you were so young I was already one step in my grave!” He smooths your face, and you feel love and anger at the same time.

“One step in your grave? Who are you, Brian Harold May? Fuck you are still young old man!” You kiss him.

“Now young or old?” He chuckles. “You really said I’m Brian?”

“He is the one who writed about death as usual...” you giggle. “You are my young, old man! Okay?”

“But for everyone else?”

“Only I can call you old man, and just because you always acted so over me!” You act like it hurted you, but in reality you loved to lean on him as a kid.

“Oh, like you did not tried to make me your dad for weeks when you were 4!” He pinches your jaw, and places a gentle kiss on your lips.

“And now I want to make you my baby’s dad! Small step for the universe, but enormous for me!” You giggle into his mouth, you couldn’t be happier next to him, you wouldn’t change it for anything.

To be continued...

My sweet perms:

@simply-sams-things @spacedust1124719

Story tags:

@mrsmazzello

[ofmurphys]

✰ –– hero coffee roasters. 2pm, on a tuesday.

this bitch wants a frappu-fuckin’-ccino. murphy blinks and pastes on a smile. jesus. fake-owning this shithole’s getting real old these days. “ oh, hun, of course i can improvise that sugar rush for you. don’t even fret it. we totally keep vats of that fake java just lying around. ”  honestly, murph can’t tell what’s worse –– the fact that this cardboard cutout vsco girl even asked, or the fact that she actually believes her.

hero coffee roasters loses a customer that day. as the doorbell jingles shut with the force of the girl’s slam, murphy pops a redhot into her mouth and chews. does nothing to hide her growing smirk. yeah, yeah. 

good riddance.

or alternatively :  hey demons, it’s me, ya gurl !  back at it again with my very snakey shadow gorl. click that read more to learn about this gorgeous amoral piece of ass. i’m trying out a new intro format, so... bear with me !  i hope y’all enjoy, and pls hmu on discord for plots !  

murph is... straight up trouble. so if you want drama ?  you want bullshit & compulsive lies ?  you want ill-founded rage with no apologies later ?  you’ve come to the right place .

this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world . . .   just kidding. murphy berman doesn’t shed tears for shit.

— && guests may mistake me as ( zoe kravitz ), but really i am ( murphy berman + cisfemale + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 11/7/1994 ). i am a ( “ coffee shop owner ” ) and would like to stay in suite ( 306 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( + cunning & fierce ), but i can also be ( - acetous & cutthroat ) at times. personally, i like to ( code, flick gum wrappers at pigeons, bring my pet turtle to the movies, sit back and watch shit burn ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( those purple doritos, y'know. chili or whatever the fuck  ) to have in my suite. thank you for checking in !

i n s p o .

coffee shop –– hero coffee roasters.

pinterest.

soundcloud –– soul sounds.

soul anthem.

b a c k d r o p .  ( tw: drug mentions, alcoholic tendencies, alcohol, crime, allusions to domestic violence, violence, murder. )

2am, bar’s closed. but braids still sits, forearms draped atop the counter, shades askew. as you restock new handles, she raises a finger, like she might say something, then pours herself another bourbon. cutting her off is the least of your worries –– it doesn’t take a genius to tell this cookie can handle her own. and the shit she’s spewing ?  something tells you this has never been aired before.

“ so picture the fuck outta this, bub. ”  a swig.  “ you’re born and before you even got the wherewithal to speak, you’re shipped off to some graham cracker family in the  ‘ burbs. you start leapfrogging –– my term, tee-em –– ”  a tattooed finger traces the symbol into the air accordingly. “ and after a while, it’s a game. hop a house, stay a while, see how much of their shit you can pocket. ”  nostalgic sighs accompany a litany of stolen goods :  cash. jewelry. first edition tetris game, hand-fuckin’-held. the hoopers’ prized gold kazoo.

don’t believe her ?  onto black marble slides proof. 

“ then you land. hard. the fuckin’ landry’s. ”  a scornful chuckle. “ miss me with that white picket fence ass shit. but they get you your first comp, so... when they ask to adopt you, you’re like. i dunno, man. sure, i guess ?  and guess wrong. ”  turns out the landry’s aren’t as warm or welcoming as they claim. their youngest kid dies, freak accident. monkey bars. “ family falls apart worse than that time you tried to make a ball from fresh cigarette ash. you were eleven. ”  tattooed over the scar.

braids tells you ‘bout the party being over. the bruising. but she laughs through it, rolls her eyes like she’s talking ‘bout silly old friends instead of terrible old people.

her birth mother finds her. they meet up a few times in a local park, whisks her away when she’s twelve. is it kidnapping ?  technically, who gives a fuck. they lived low. under the radar. in apartments above dive bars. spent a summer breaking into parked cars. finally landed with j.j., who turned out to just be a glorified drug mule.

“ new york was fine to me. y’know, fucked off in school. kid shit. ”  she shrugs. you won’t know it, but she’ll astutely sidestep the fact that she hacked her first global system at 14. she won’t mention she started accepting paypal offers from obscure reddit threads two weeks later. by 17, she was contracting independently –– a business venture, she’d tell her high school counselor, assigned to keep her from winding up on the streets. 

matty, her best friend since the move to new york, decided to kiss her silly after trying shrooms. she liked it. told him maybe he could do that more often.

“ he cleaned up, ”  braids purses her lips. “ after high school. stopped messing with his crowd. our crowd. ”  she grabs two stirrers from a container dangerously close to your hand. taps ‘em on the counter like she’s stomping out mini fires. “ let him put a ring on me. y’know make bey proud. ”

she won’t mention that while matty gets a job as a cook at a bougie french restaurant, she continued to deal with devils. woman in her high castle. under the guise of cpu-based tetris and a whole lot of freelance web design.

but then roosevelt savings bank gets robbed. and they somehow trace the ip back to her.

it’s an easy mishap to shake. showed ‘em the websites. the code. the computer usage logs. the blues believe her, but matty...

“ trust issues. sad, huh ?  thought i was fucking around behind his back. ”  with criminals.

“ and then shit gets good, homie. we’re tasting stupid fucking cake. red velvet... ”  cue a laugh. bitter. the stirrers stop tapping. “ then i meet aamina and everything goes to shit. i brought it up, you know. like. hey, your fiancée might be a little bit into pussy. ”

for the first time all night, her eyes meet yours. and it’s only then you realize... there’s some heavy fuckin’ sadness swimming in those baby browns. worlds pass through them. alternative stories –– where matty wasn’t high. where he didn’t reach for the knife.

“ he lost it. ”  silence. she looks away. “ anyway. ”  she launches into why chicago –– why she studied pre-law for two years before tossing in the towel. because “ fuck a judge, man. ” and she’s into the finer things in life.  ( she struck you as an arts type. what with the glasses. the vintage band tee worn like a dress. maybe you get a glimmer of pride knowing you were right. she won’t mention that the whole thing’s a farce. )

she launches into why a coffee shop. she’ll tell you the beautiful thing about coffee is it takes no shit. she’ll tell you owning a place gets fuckin’ wild, but she’s in it for the free java and coffee-themed booze. a perk all hourly baristas like her enjoy.  “ and we made that top list or whatever. of fly places here.  an honor. i’d like to thank god, and also jesus. which i hope you know are my boys bazzi and frank ocean. ”  

you’ll google hero coffee roasters later. and find its registered owner goes by brian tubolino. but hey, maybe she’s married.

when braids finally decides it’s time to go, sunlight’s nipping at chicago’s heels.

“ you chill if i ... ? ”  before you can answer, she’s takin’ a swig straight from the half-finished bottle of bourbon. picks it up and cradles it under one arm, precious cargo. 

“ souvenir, man. in remembrance of you. ” 

[glamrockmonarch]

I loooove your blog and your little imagines!! I see your requests are open, and I’m not sure if you write anything longer, but if you wrote something a little angsty for BrianxReader with inspo from “Sail Away Sweet Sister” I would die on the spot

A/N: have been meaning to write a full series based on this song (like sooooo sososo SO bad!) , but I don’t know man… anyway, I hope you enjoy this short piece! 

You watched the band come back from the stage into their dressing room. It had been too long since the last time you saw your brother and his bandmates.

Your studies swept you away from England as you studied natural wildlife in Greymouth, New Zealand on a scholarship you could not pass on.

It had been years, you heard of Roger’s success with his band and had your family send you their records but once you set foot back in England and now hearing the roar of the crowd you were made fully aware of how successful and famous his band actually was. Queen was huge. The boys were taking over the scene, and there you were at last.

Wearing a dark black pair of flared velvet pants and a white blouse, your almost new high heels still felt rough from lack of use, but you felt that you looked your best when you were comfortable.

Your breathing became irregular once you heard the voices coming from the hallway, Miami had helped you and your mother set this up so you could meet again and surprise your brother. And he was shocked when he entered the room, laughing and joking with Freddie as his eyes landed on you.

Your figure was so foreign to him now. Although you had sent photos, it was obvious that you were no longer the child that left the nest almost 5 years prior. He looked different too, his hair and his face…you were taken aback, somehow you felt he looked more than just five years older. 

Regardless of his sweaty figure, you opened your arms at him, excited to catch up and recover the connection you had and that couldn’t be fed through the mail. 

“Hey, stranger!” You pushed your dirty blond locks away from your face by tucking them behind your ears.

Roger pushed his palms against Deaky’s chest and left him to catch his bloody drumsticks when he rushed to wrap his arms around you.

“Y/N! Monkey!” He picked you up and spun you around. “Oh, I missed you.”

When your older brother put you down he stared at your face and held your hands in his sore ones.

“You look so…so different, Y/N!”

You giggled at this and brought your hand to his bleached hair, it was shorter than you remember it being before. Leaving London in 76, you guessed some things were bound to change. 

“You’re one to talk!” You mocked him, a hint of a kiwi accent coming through.

Roger rolled his eyes and put his arm around your shoulders, he pulled you to his side and kissed the top of your head as he faced his bandmates.

“I don’t think you remember Y/N,” he started, “she is my youngest sister, the one who actually went to school.”

“So not all Taylor’s are lost!” Deaky teased your brother.

As everyone came to say hi, you noticed Brian’s hand shaking when he took yours.

In fact, Brian remembered you. Back in the Smile days, you would sneak out of your parents’ home to go see Roger play. The only reason why you were ever even allowed inside the bars was that you were related to the drummer. Your fighting at the end of the night would be massive, messy, and even Brian has to admit hurtfully. Back then you were nothing but a child, at 14 you were still finding your place in the world…but now…

As Brian spoke to you he realised you did not just look like a woman, you were a young one now! His eyes kept going between your eyes to your lips, and to your cleavage. He couldn’t help it, last time he saw you, you were a little more than a child.

And Brian had always had something about him that made your heartbeat speed up, and your face become warm. 

As the night progressed you could see your brother getting more comfortable with sharing about his life with you. Now you were more grown up and he assumed you had a bit more experience, he did not mind talking about his ways with women.

“But I thought you had a girlfriend?” You muttered.

You shook your head and felt Roger’s arms shaking you by the shoulders.

“Tell us, Miss Kiwi, did you break too many hearts when you left?”

You blushed at your Brother’s question, as a matter of fact, you had to break up with your boyfriend before leaving. The young man insisted on marrying you, he wanted you to stay but you couldn’t just do that…you had your family to go back to! A whole life back in England.

“I guess…” you joked.

Roger cheered at this and clung his drink with yours.

“Wouldn’t be a Taylor if you didn’t!”

At the end of the night you were supposed to go home with Roger but of course, he was lost in the crowd with some girl. Already tired and bored with the amount of socialising required from you tonight, you looked for one of Roger’s friends to help. The easiest one to find was Brian due to his tall skinny figure. Finding him you tapped him on the shoulder as he leant on the bar talking to some girls.

The pair of blondes gave you daggers when Brian turned over his shoulder to see you.

You have a similar expression of discomfort to the one Roger has; your brows knitted together with doe eyes sunken and a slight pout on your lips that formed a straight line.

“Y/N, what is it?” Brian leant down so he could listen to you clearly.

“I…I think Rog is with a girl, and I need a ride home-well…to a hotel now, I guess.”

You waited for Brian’s response, he frowned and turned to the girls.

“Excuse me,” he apologised to them and turned to you, he placed his hand on your arm and pulled you away softly. “I thought you were staying with Rog.”

“I was!” You shrugged as you approached the entrance. “But he is with some girl…”

“You can stay at my place tonight.” Brian blinked a few times in a second. “No need to make it weird between siblings in the morning.”

You thanked him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it with a large smile on your face. After you both picked up your coats, you made your way out of the venue and Brian walked with you to his car, both of you surrounded by a small herd of bodyguards. You were surprised by the big changes since the days of playing in bars and getting beers as payment. 

You talked about your lives the past couple of years and chatted all the way to his place. You turned a little in the comfortable cream-coloured seat and watched Brian’s profile illuminated by the street lights. 

“What do you mean “you could really see the stars”? You can see them here just fine! Well, with proper equipment…”

You laughed at Brian’s outrage and explained to him that the shore was quiet and you had the chance of spending many nights there.

“Must have been lonely.” Brian pulled up in front of his house.

“Oh, I was rarely alone! My boyfriend was quite adventurous, he liked to tag along…”

“Well, don’t tell Roger that!”

You stepped out of Brian’s car and went inside his house once he opened the door for you.

“Well, it’s a lot better than that tiny apartment you used to rent! You lot have made it big, I see!” You scanned the house as you came in and watched Brian close the door and lock it, dropping his keys on a table near the entrance.

“You like this? Oh, you should see Freddie’s place!”

You smiled and chuckled, only imagining what things Freddie might actually have in his home. With that you turned and looked at Brian, it felt almost like it was the first time that night. Without the sound of music blasting in the background or a crowd around you; you could see that Brian looked less boyish now, he had grown up as your brother had. As all of you had. His jaw seemed stronger, covered in the shade of a beard, and his nose even longer, but his eyes remained gentle.

You pushed your hair behind your ears and looked away from him once you realised you had been staring and heard him call out your name wondering what you were thinking from across the hall.

“Nothing, nothing…” you covered your mouth with your hand. “Uhm…should I take the couch?”

Brian smiled and laughed at you, shaking his head.

“Of course not!” He patted your arm and made you follow him. “You can get the bed, my treat! Wait-“ he paused and smiled at the ground blinking repeatedly “that didn’t sound right… Sorry.”

You smiled and bit your lip, in secret you fed your childish crush on your older brother’s guitarist friend.

“I wouldn’t mind it honestly.” You blurted out before the words could be processed by your brain.

To cover it up a bit you laughed, but shut up, cursing at yourself in silence.

Brian led you to his room and walked in before you, he put out a shirt and some shorts for you to borrow, taking his own pyjamas before saying goodnight.

Although Brian had seen you in pictures Roger sometimes showed him, he hadn’t expected you would no longer be making silly jokes and commenting on things such as the colour of his socks. Answering back with flirtatious comments, swaying your hips as you walked with confidence, standing up straight to face anyone and everyone who came to talk to you. Yes, you were a lady alright; and still, you were his best friend’s little sister.

“Goodnight, I’ll be in the living room.” He announced, “in case you need anything.”

“I can take the sofa, really, I don’t mind.” You stopped him, grabbing his wrist.

His gaze fell on your tanned hand around his paler wrist, your lips parted as if you wanted to say something but you stopped yourself and waited for his eyes to come up to meet your e/c eyes. Once they did, you saw the same thing you had seen in his hazel eyes many years before when you confessed your feelings for him before accepting the scholarship. He had said he loved you “as a little sister” and that it would never change. It broke your young naive heart, but it also helped shape you into the person you became during the years you spent away.

“Goodnight,” Brian repeated.

You sighed and turned to him, placing a kiss on his cheek, for which he leant down.

It was after you changed and put your clothes on a neat pile of folded garments on the counter in his bathroom that you got under the covers of his comfortable bed. Trying to fall asleep you could not help but feel annoyed at how much you wanted to speak to Brian.

You huffed and turned on your side. He was still attractive and smart and sweet…and you were still Roger’s little sister. You groaned turning on your other side.

Brian had been so nice to that young 17 year old you, he encouraged you to study whatever you liked when Roger was too busy being the centre of attention. The talented drummer and amazing back-up singer. 

You remembered Brian’s words.

“I am flattered, and don’t get me wrong Y/N: I love you…just not the way you think you love me. You’re too young for that. And even if you weren’t, you must take the scholarship! It’ll be wonderful for you.”

You kicked the covers off and sat at the edge of the bed for a minute before calming down and wandering through the dark hallway. The only audible thing was the sound of your bare feet stepping on his cold marble floor.

“Bri?” Your voice came out soft and quiet.

You heard him hum in response and wrapped your arms around your own body at the sound, gentle and surprised. Brian sat up.

“What is it?” He cleaned his eyes from sleep and watched you.

In front of him, you were standing in his shirt and shorts looking nothing less than adorable. He gave you a toothy grin.

You came to stand closer to him, he had to throw his head back to see you as you stepped between his knees. With a soft smile, you reached in order to touch his nose with your index finger, dragging it along his cheek towards his ear and then back to his jaw.

“Brian, do you remember what you said to me before I left?”

He did. He had been thinking about it since he spotted you tonight.

“Has anything changed since?” You combed his curls with your fingers.

Brian smiled and grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand into his. You noticed his fingers are calloused. He kissed your open palm as he used to do when you were younger and staying over at his and the band’s place for tea instead of going back home to finish your homework.

“Everything changed.” He admitted. “You were not meant to come back.” 

You leant down and Brian’s nose grazed yours, his arms wrapped around your middle. 

“But I did.” You replied in a whisper.

For a moment it looked like you saying it was a relief to Brian. He turned his face against yours and pressed his nose against your cheek. You knew at that moment that it was both of you who had secretly remained hopeful that you would come back and that the feelings would be mutual. Now you did not know what to say, so you slid your hands out of his hair and cupped his cheeks, pulling him away only for a brief moment before you tried to kiss his lips. 

“Don’t….” Brian pulled away, regretting it in a matter of seconds. “Y/N,k you are still Y/N!”

Your hands fell off of him and you took a step back. He did not want you, he did not see you the way you saw him and it was wrong for you to keep feeding all of these idiotic feelings for a man who was so clearly not into you. 

“Still little, right? Forget it.” 

You rushed to leave him, running back to his bedroom feeling the sting of tears coming up your throat and threaten to come out. It seemed now like being a third wheel would have been a much better option.

[debdarkpetal]

Brian May on Instagram:

The table top selfie sensation continues !! I swear 1.6 million silly folks like me will soon be doing this !!! Bri

And this is what I saw - two little guys who don’t care that they come from different lineage and have different colour fur - they just love each other - so why can’t humans manage this ? Yes .. I could have stayed all day ... but there was important stuff to do. Like moving 7 tiny growing fox cubs to their new temporary home ... outside in the soft release run. TBC ! Bri

A few humans ... and 7 small fox cubs in a pet carrier ... on their way down to their new home while they grow strong enough to face the wild world. Bri

And out the little monkeys come ! The Magnificent Seven Musical Fox Cubs emerging from their transport of delight, a little timidly at first in their new surroundings, but soon their inquisitive nature takes over ! Filming is in progress - for Channel 5 later this year. Thanks Claudia and your team. Bri

[dailytomlinson]

Louis Tomlinson may be one-fifth of one of the biggest boybands in the world, but there's so much more to know about the singer than the fact he was in One Direction. Now that he's getting on with his solo music career - AND just dropped his amazing new single 'Two Of Us', Louis is a major household name across the world.

Here's everything you need to know about Louis Tomlinson:

1) Louis’s middle name is William.

2) Louis Tomlinson was born on Christmas Eve in 1991.

3) Louis is the oldest member of One Direction. He’s 13 months older than second eldest Zayn Malik.

Check out One Direction through the years: View Gallery 11 photos 1 / 11 One Direction © Shutterstock One Direction auditioning on The X Factor One Direction formed on The X Factor in 2010. All five members auditioned as individual contestants and were put together as a group by Simon Cowell.

4) Louis Tomlinson's star sign is Capricorn. Apparently, typical Capricorns live by the motto, ‘Slow, steady and win the race.’

5) Louis was brought up in Doncaster, South Yorkshire. Other famous people who hail from the town include Jeremy Clarkson, Kevin Keegan and Brian Blessed!

Jeremy Clarkson JEREMY CLARKSON AND BRIAN BLESSED © SHUTTERSTOCK 6) Louis once said that he is a big fan of girls who eat carrots!

7) If Louis had a superpower, he would be able to fly.

8) Louis’s favourite band is The Fray.

9) Louis’s favourite song of all time is ‘Look After You’ by The Fray.

10) Louis’s celebrity crush is Natalie Portman and his man crush is Robbie Williams - who he recently sat next to on The X Factor judging panel.

11) He also once said that Robbie is his biggest role model, telling Metro Radio "I’ve got a massive musical icon and that’s Robbie Williams. We actually got to sing with him on The X Factor and it was absolutely amazing."

X Factor ROBBIE WILLIAMS, AYDA FIELD, LOUIS TOMLINSON AND SIMON COWELL © SHUTTERSTOCK 12) Louis has approximately 1 minute and 30 seconds of solos on ‘Up All Night’ – the second least behind Niall Horan.

13) Louis auditioned on The X Factor by singing a version of Plain White T’s ‘Hey There Delilah’. He got a clean sweep of yeses from the judges.

14) Louis's parents are Johannah Deakin and Troy Austin. They split up when Louis was young, and he eventually took on his stepfather Mark Tomlinson’s surname. Johannah sadly passed away in 2016, Louis paid tribute to his mum on the anniversary of her passing.

15) Louis has five younger half-sisters - one on his father's side (Georgia), and four on his mother's side (Charlotte, Félicité, and twins Daisy and Phoebe).

16) When he was just 11-years-old, Louis had a role as an extra on ITV drama_**_ Fat Friends. His newborn sisters Daisy and Phoebe starred as babies on the show.

17) Spurred on by his appearance on Fat Friends, Louis attended acting school in his spare time and eventually had small parts in 2006 ITV drama If I Had You! and Waterloo Road.

18) When he first auditioned for The X Factor, Louis was a sixth form student at Hall Cross School in Doncaster.

19) Louis also attended The Hayfield School in Doncaster, but dropped out when he failed his first year of A-levels.

20) Louis had a number of part-time jobs before The X Factor, including working at a local cinema and as a hospitality waiter at Doncaster Rovers Football Club.

21) As a student, Louis played the lead role of Danny Zuko in a high school production of Grease. He says playing the part gave him the confidence to audition for The X Factor.

22) When he was younger, Louis wanted to work on a farm.

23) Louis would love to copy Michael Jackson and have a pet monkey. He said, "I'd like to adopt a chimpanzee and build an eternal friendship, that would be amazing."

24) Louis’s favourite colour is dark red.

25) Louis is a big fan of Las Vegas rockers The Killers. After seeing them perform at V Festival, he tweeted, "Watching Mr Brightside live last night was unbelievable. LOVED The Killers!!"

Louis Tomlinson ✔ @Louis_Tomlinson Watching Mr Brightside live last night was unbelievable. LOVED The Killers !!

22.8K 6:09 PM - Aug 20, 2012 Twitter Ads info and privacy 30.4K people are talking about this 26) Louis suffers from a ringing noise in his right ear. Although yet to be officially diagnosed it’s thought it could be tinnitus which can lead to deafness if untreated. He once said, "I am going slightly deaf in my right ear. It’s tinnitus, something like that," before joking that it was because of screaming fans.

27) According to his bandmates, Louis has the smelliest feet in One Direction! Niall once said, "Louis wears plimsolls with no socks so his feet get very sweaty and the sweat is captured. If we are on a bus or something and he takes them off we all pretty much start gagging."

28) Louis was given a telling off by police when filming the ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ video Los Angeles in July 2011 for his erratic driving. Afterwards, he explained, "I got pulled over by the US police. They thought I was all over the place. The officer goes, 'Listen, man, I can shut this thing down if you carry on driving like this. You're driving like a maniac.' And I was like, 'Man, put the gun down. I don't want no trouble.'"

WATCH: One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful (Official Video)

29) Louis says that he and his 1D bandmates are like brothers. Admitting that they occasionally bicker, Louis told Digital Spy, "Because we're around each other so often it's like arguing with your siblings. You fall out with them, go away and have a bit of a paddy, then come back and get over it."

30) Just like Zayn and Harry Styles, Louis supports Manchester United Football Club.

31) Louis’s favourite track on ‘Up All Night’ is the Ed Sheeran-penned track ‘Moments’. The track appears on the deluxe version of the record.

32) If Louis could give anyone a tip when auditioning for The X Factor it would be "just be yourself and really try and get your personality through in your song choice and interview."

33) Louis once owned a Porsche Boxster and sold it on eBay in 2012 for £30,000.

34) When Zayn’s ex-girlfriend Rebecca Ferguson took to Twitter to complain about being overworked by her management, Louis had very little sympathy! He wrote in a now-deleted tweet, '@RebeccaFMusic Success is impossible without proper hard work.'

Rebecca Ferguson REBECCA FERGUSON © SHUTTERSTOCK 35) Louis loves to party! He once told TOTP magazine, "To be honest, I’m sure the majority of 20-year-olds go out and party. I’m not going to feel oppressed."

36) Louis is a giver and not a taker. In fact, there’s nothing he enjoys more than giving his friends and family presents. His late mum Johannah once told Sugarscape, "He’s not a materialistic person himself, but he likes to give people things. He spoils me and the girls and he's happiest doing that."

37) Louis once said that he likes snuggling up in bed with one of the One Directioners... HARRY! He said, "A few weeks ago I made a cup of tea, then went and got in bed with Harry and we watched a show called something like The Top 50 Boybands Of All Time." Nice!

38) Apparently, Louis has revealed that his least favourite food is baked beans.

39) Louis once said his favourite country is France.

40) Louis is an avid fan of surfing. In fact, he loves the beach so much he says he’d like to get married on one.

41) It takes over 30 minutes for Louis to get his hair ready in the morning.

42) Louis admits he’s a really bad cook. Despite this, he appeared alongside Harry in a cooking segment on This Morning in September 2011.

Louis Tomlinson HARRY AND LOUIS WITH THIS MORNING PRESENTER RUTH LANGSFORD IN 2011 © 

43) One of Louis's favourite mottos is, "Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain."

44) The two traits Louis looks for in a girl are confidence and a good sense of humour.

45) In 2011, his mum Johannah and stepdad Mark split up. Speaking about his mum, Louis said, "It must be so much harder for her because I’m living this fantastic life and being so busy every day whereas she’s still in the old life I was in but without me... It must be really difficult for her not to get upset."

46) Louis’s pet hate is when people chew their food too loudly.

47) Louis has size 10 feet.

48) A man who works in the music industry once tried to have a snog with Louis! "It was a press guy.... he just started going in for a kiss!" said Louis.

49) Louis loves Marmite and has big dollops of it on his toast.

50) Louis admits that he’s a messy person. In fact, he hasn’t met anyone who’s messier than him!

51) Louis is pretty decent on the piano and he loves to play ‘Mr Brightside’ by The Killers.

52) Louis says he’ll "never get used to" the adoration he receives from fans. He once said, "At the end of the day we’re doing something that we really love and to be appreciated for that is really nice."

53) Louis’s favourite TV shows are Misfits and One Tree Hill.

54) If Louis wasn’t a multi-million selling pop megastar, he reckons he’d be training to be a drama teacher.

55) If Louis could visit any planet it would be... Narnia. Erm, it’s a fictional place Louis!!

56) Louis hates rumours, especially when they involve Harry and himself. In a Tumblr interview he explained, "Me and Harry are best friends, people look into our every move. It is actually affecting the way me and Harry are in public, We want to joke around but there seems to be a different rumour every time we do anything."

Louis Tomlinson LOUIS AND HARRY SINGING TOGETHER IN 2015 

57) Louis is prone to sleepwalking and once tried to get into Niall’s bed!

58) Louis once said that if a movie was made about his life, he’d like Leonardo DiCaprio to play him.

59) The first time Louis ever spoke to Harry was in the toilet at The X Factor auditions in Manchester.

60) Louis is a big fan of silly string! He’s sprayed it on stage at gigs, press conferences and even at a security guard who refused to let him speak to fans.

61) When he was 14, Louis played lead guitar in a band called The Rogue with his schoolmates.

62) When One Direction formed, Louis’s big ambition was to go "straight to the top." Proof that dreams come true!

63) In August 2012, Tulisa prank called Louis during a live webchat. When Louis answered she spoke to him in a Donald Duck voice in front of thousands of viewers. The N-Dubz star tweeted afterwards, 'soz babe we had 2 get ya! Thanks 4 being a laugh n entertaining us!'

Tulisa ✔ @officialtulisa @Louis_Tomlinson soz babe we had 2 get ya! Thanks 4 being a laugh n entertaining us!

266 8:23 PM - Aug 5, 2012 Twitter Ads info and privacy 579 people are talking about this 64) Louis was fined £80 for speeding on the way to V Festival in 2012. It’s reported that he was going 48mph in a 40mph zone. He’ll also get three points on his licence. Ouch!

65) Despite having smelly feet, Louis is a big fan of shoes! His favourite types are chinos and Toms.

66) Another of his favourite mottos is "live fast, have fun & be a bit mischievous."

67) If Louis was Simon Cowell for the day, he says he’d go on a date with Susan Boyle.

After his successful stint on last year's The X Factor, Louis delighted his fans in March when he dropped his amazing new single 'Two Of Us'.

The song, which is adored by fans, is a tribute to Louis' late mum Johannah Deakin. Johannah left behind seven children, including Louis, at the end of 2016, when she lost her battle with an aggressive form of leukaemia at the age of just 42.

Louis' track 'Two Of Us' features the lyrics, "I know you'll be looking down, swear I'm gonna make you proud. I'll be living one life for the two of us."

The article was followed by a tweet:

[jack-andthestalk]

Chapter 1: Back to Lallybroch

Chapter Text

As my plane touched down on Scottish soil, I looked out over the beautiful landscape, I snorted to myself thinking of the last time I had touched down in Scotland, four years previous. Eager to sight see with Uncle Lamb and oblivious to how my life was about to drastically change. My first time in Scotland was a promised visit, A long overdue holiday with Uncle Lambert, while I finished medical school and still had the luxury of a summer break, before going out in the real world of hospital rotas and long shifts. The visit had been in Uncle Lambs mind for sometime, his best friend Brian Fraser owned a historical Estate called Lallybroch, in a small village, Broch Morda, high in the hills of the Scottish highlands. Since my parents had passed away three years previously, Uncle Lamb had taken me on as his own, and did his level best to be both Mum and Dad to a very broken and scared sixteen year old. Brian and Ellen had visited us plenty in Boston during those first few years, helping Lamb find his feet with a teenager and offering support wherever they could to me. We had never managed to return the visit, Lamb had plenty of times, while he worked in Scotland on digs, he always stayed at Lallybroch. He had never managed to bring me, until that summer. It was one of my best holidays, made only better by the presence of Jenny and Jamie Fraser. Brian and Ellen’s children. My first time to meet them but we became quick and fast friends. Three weeks of unadulterated fun! What was the worst the could happen? Little did I know four years ago, in an unused cottage on Fraser lands, that my son would be conceived. And here I was returning to Lallybroch again, as a guest for Jenny’s wedding. My first time in Scotland and my first time in a long time to be in my son’s fathers presence. I took a breath and stepped on to the Scottish tarmac.

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 Three months after returning from my holiday with Uncle Lamb I came to the slow realisation that my periods had stopped. Funny with all my medical training, I put it down to stress and losing weight over exams.

It was only as I was almost approaching my second trimester that I realised, I was in fact pregnant. One long night between the sheets with Jamie Fraser being the cause of my ailment. A frantic and absolutely awkward phone-call to Jamie ensued. Followed by equally frantic and awkward phone calls between Lamb and the Frasers shortly after. Promises of standing by me and helping, flowing free on both sides. I just lay on my bathroom floor crying, wondering how the hell would I manage to sit my exams 8 months pregnant. True to their word, the Frasers including Jamie had done everything and anything since our little boy was born to help me be a single mum and work as a doctor. He was flown back to Scotland every two months. Ellen usually flying to Boston to collect him, spending a few days with me and then flying them both home, where the little monkey was thoroughly spoilt for weeks at a time.

Jamie flying him back to Boston, brief nervous greetings at Airport arrivals with me, before Jamie rushing to a departure gate to return to Scotland to manage the estate and farm. We managed to co parent as only two modern full time working adults can, our communication being completely facilitated by Ellen, Brian, Lamb and Jenny. This was the first time I would be in Jamie’s company for longer than a few hours with our son present in years. Deep Breath.

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Jenny picked me up from the Airport, Jamie had brought Willie to Inverness to pick up horses and would meet us back at Lallybroch. Willie had arrived in Lallybroch, three weeks earlier, accompanied by Jamie. I simply couldn’t wait to see my little boy. I fidgeted nervously with my hands. Imagining how the week would go, all of us together. Jenny bubbling with excitement about her upcoming nuptials, chatting animatedly on the way to Lallybroch. Her brown hair tied in a messy bun and her hands moving over the steering wheel to illustrate the story she was telling. Wedding flowers. Jenny and I, had built a strong friendship since my first visit to Lallybroch. Obviosly because of the consequences of that visit we were thrown together somewhat. The Frasers simply became family. I was the mother of Jenny’s only nephew and the Frasers only grandchild. Jenny flew out and stayed with Willie and myself often and was always on the end of the phone in both support of Willie and friendship for me. Quite simply Jenny and myself were more like sisters these past few years, I was so touched and taken aback when she asked me to be her maid of honour. I may have cried for several hours after her phonecall.

I had no siblings, and for Jenny who had any amount of friends, to pick me to be at her side on one of the most important days of her life was simply not something I would ever forget. Her gruff speech and the rarity of emotional words from her, the day she rang to ask, didn’t help the flow of tears. “Ye ken it’s no just because yer Willie’s mam, ye’ have been there for me more in the past four years then anyone, yer my sister Claire no matter what else,” she sniffed at her end of the phone and added jovially “ asides it’ll make Da happy, he can try and push you and Jamie towards the priest and legitimise his grandson.” We had both laughed at that. Jenny had been excitedly talking about her wedding, a change in her voice, interrupted my thoughts. “So ye have yet to meet Laoghaire then Claire?” Jamie’s new girlfriend. “Yes, that’s right. What is she like Jen?” Jamie had phoned me a few weeks before, gruffly stating he was seeing someone and would it be ok for Willie to meet her. I had said off course, I trust your judge of character but the whole episode had left me feeling empty and I was struggling to think why, probably because I didn’t want any other stepmum type person in Willies life. I knew that was silly because Jamie wouldn’t allow someone to act as a Mum to Willie ... and yet still. Jenny’s tone had gone a little higher in pitch when she replied. “Ach, I s’ pose she is grand Claire.. she is queer mad about Jamie, I dinna know if that’s necessarily a good thing though... she can come on a bit strong...” “What’s she like with Willie?” “Weel she came on a bit strong there too, tried to smother him with affection, to impress Jamie I presume but then she rang one of the days asking could she take him out, Mam had to tell her it wasna appropriate .. I think that stung a bit .. but it settled her down some.” The woman was going to be around my son and I prayed Jamie had chosen well. “Do ye mind?” Jenny’s voice softening. Clearly thinking this a sensitive topic. “Not about her being around Willie, but Jamie having a girlfriend I s’pose”, she finished. “No don’t be silly why would I mind, Jamie and I were never a thing”, that empty feeling returning again. “Well that’s just it, I have no asked ye before Claire but ... weel was Willie just a one night thing or was there more to it?” She glanced over to look at my face and quickly added. “Yer welcome to tell me to mind my own business, aye? But I always wondered about ye?” I simply replied. “No just the one night.” A sudden flashback of me lying spread eagled and wanting, under Jamie’s strong body. Nails clawing down his back and Jamie’s whisper of Gaelic in my ear, made my stomach clench. I looked out the window so Jenny wouldn’t see my expression. This trip was clearly unearthing regressed memories. Great.

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  We pulled into Lallybroch courtyard to be met by Brian Fraser. Tall and dark unlike Jamie’s colouring But had the Fraser eyes, which my son had inherited. “Ach there she is now, Claire ye look bonnier each time I see ye!” Brian’s outstretched arms waiting to embrace me. “Quit yer embarrassing pur Claire, Brian stop it.” Ellen smiling at her husband, knowing he had no intention of stopping. Brian Fraser, always the charmer and made no secret he wanted his son married to the mother of their child, partly for old fashioned reasons, partly because I was the niece of his best friend and partly, I hoped because he liked me. His teasing of the issue was guaranteed and accepted. I’d probably be more upset if he stopped. What would I do if he was jesting with this Laoighaire about marrying Jamie? Get a grip Beauchamp. “Claire, Jamie and Willie willna be long now, I’m sure yer dying to see yer wee lad, god he is a braw boy isnt he Brian Mac?” “Aye Ellen, like his Da and me..” A loud ahem from me and a smile. “Oh aye you too Claire, Jamie was only saying he gets more like ye every day.” Did he now.

I was sitting at the large kitchen table in Lallybroch’s kitchen when I heard a Jeep door slamming and little footsteps thumping through the house. “Mama... Mama!”, Willie bounding into the kitchen and up into my arms. Jamie following closely behind him, standing, arms folded and resting against the doorframe. Watching Willie and I unite, a smile on his face. “I miss you Mama” Willie clutching me about the neck, “me an Da counted down all the days ye we’re com’n on Da’s pone.” “Oh well hasn’t Da a clever pone!” I exclaimed mocking my sons pronunciation of phone, ruffling Willies red mop of hair, just like Jamie’s. I took in Willie from head to toe, satisfied that all was well and not much had changed over our three weeks apart, only a few more freckles and maybe a little taller. I readjusted my gaze and looked back up at Jamie, who was watching my ministrations with Willie, a tender look on his face. “All as it should be Sassenach?” A smirk forming on his lips. “Yes, sorry I’m always afraid il miss something”, “aye me too, Dinna fash I do the exact same.” I took in Jamie’s appearance. I always forgot how big he was. In terms of genetics I couldn’t have picked a better father. Jamie was a beautiful man. Perfectly carved muscles, a strong Viking face and beautiful red curls just long enough to tumble around his face. I couldn’t look in my sons eyes without seeing Jamie’s. Willie was quite simply his double and had all the promise of Jamie’s height too. “How was yer flight?”, I stood to greet him, with a wriggly three and a half year old in my arms. He broached the distance, kissing me lightly on the cheek. “it was good I slept for most of it”. It’s great to finally get here and lovely to see everyone. I forgot how beautiful Lallybroch is”, Always good to see him. We stood for a minute taking in our son, before we could hear Ellen shouting to bring me up to my cottage. -