#what started off as a thirst drawing really grew into angst somehow

[pineapplebread]

Tattoo AU

Before Steve enlisted in the army, he was working as an illustrator (I believe this is canon, but correct me if I’m wrong), so he’s always had strong ties and appreciation for art.

After the serum changed his body, Steve felt uncomfortable in his own skin. He went from tiny and asthmatic to huge and strong within the span of minutes, and he never quite got used to the change. In his own head, he still feels small and helpless despite his new physical appearance and newfound strength. After a while, his new body doesn’t feel like his own anymore, it’s too big, it’s too perfect, it’s not his.

One night in one of the military camps on the Western Front he’s show-and-ponying at as Captain America the living dancing war bonds commercial, he comes across a soldier giving others tattoos with a heated needle and a split ballpoint. There’s talk of a coil machine someone’s making back home to make tattooing easier and better, and Steve remembers he hasn’t been stateside in months. He asks the soldier to ink something on his arm, and he gets laughed at. “Wouldn’t wanna fuck up Cap’n America’s body.”

A year later, Bucky falls to his presumed death from the rails, and Steve convinces someone to scratch a nautical star onto his arm in memorium. The ink doesn’t hold, and it fades within weeks. Steve inks it again at least twice, but it’s gone by the time he crashes the Valkyrie into the ice.

Steve wakes from the ice into a new world, one he doesn’t recognize or know. He’s more lost than ever, and never has he felt the loneliness and inadequacy stronger than when he’s facing down an army of aliens from outer space looking to destroy the city and there’s nothing he can do. He’s never felt more like “just a kid from Brooklyn,” than he ever has. What business does he have being a superhero? 

After the Battle of New York, he’s as untethered as ever, feeling even more lost when he has to spend large amounts of time in DC, and he throws himself into missions with abandon. His friendships with Natasha and Sam help, but finding out Bucky is alive is what gives him hope in the new century. For the first time in a long time, he can breathe.

Steve returns to New York to work with the Avengers, and they make a great team. Even though he and Tony hadn’t gotten off on the best foot, they make a real effort, if only for the sake of the team, and Steve finds that once he sees past Tony’s sarcastic armor, he’s someone invaluable to the team, and someone Steve greatly respects. Ultron happens, and Tony and Pepper are on a break, and things might’ve happened at Clint’s farm behind closed doors, but Steve doesn’t want to think too much on that, it’s just mutual comfort. There are no feelings there. At least, he knows Tony has no feelings there.

Then the Accords happen, and as much as it breaks Steve’s heart, he feels like he has to do what’s right, even if it means going against Tony, who’s his best friend and partner. It almost kills Steve to put his shield through Tony’s arc reactor to stop him from killing Bucky. A part of him is left with Tony on the floor of that bunker in Siberia when he tosses down the shield and leaves.

Another part of him dies when he sees on the news Tony is engaged to Pepper.

Thanos comes. They lose.

Steve doesn’t know how he’ll go on when Tony doesn’t return from space.

“No coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero, zip, nada. No trust–liar.”

Thanos comes again. This time, they win. Together, like Steve had promised almost ten years ago.

They rebuild. The Stones burned through Tony’s arm, and almost took Steve’s with it when they used the gauntlet together. The serum helps Steve recover, but it takes a long time for Tony to heal. Steve stays with him through the year of rehabilitation, never leaving his side, because he’d broken that promise once already, and he can’t, won’t do it again. He stays with him through the breakdowns, the agony, the rebuilding. Something loosens in his chest the day Tony feels well enough to wear his new arm. 

Steve only leaves Tony’s side for 5 seconds on the day he goes to return the Stones. He tries to get Natasha back, but a soul for a soul, and what is done is done.

Tony and Pepper get divorced. Sometimes, things just don’t work out, but they’re friends, for Morgan if nothing else. They’re good parents.

It takes almost two years for Steve and Tony to recover fully and feel brave enough to reach for each other. Steve remembers the pain of not having Tony, and decides he can never let that happen again. He proposes on their first night together. Tony laughs in shock and asks, “A little soon, isn’t it, Cap?” and Steve can only tell him, “It’s been almost eleven years, but I would like it to be forever.” Tony says yes.

Steve talks about his attempts at having a tattoo and how it makes him feel like he has ownership over his own body. His body still isn’t really something he’s used to even after all this time, and on his worst days, Steve aches through the dysphoria, and while he never wishes he was small again, the big body still doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like his, and he feels like it’s on loan from the government who gave it to him. Man out of time, boy out of body.

On Steve’s 41st (108th) birthday, Tony surprises him with the serum-proof ink he’d been developing with Bruce.

Steve finds an artist and starts with Bucky’s star on his arm. Bucky gives him a strange look when he and Sam come over to visit. Then he begins work on the rest of his ink, going down his arm with Sam, who’s always been there for him, the tattoo in memorium for Peggy Carter, and moves on to the other arm for his teammates.

The most important and biggest pieces are on his chest for Tony, who is misty eyed when he sees Steve get the T.S. inked over his heart. 

Steve’s tattoos inspire Tony to get his own ink. He has silly tattoos from his college days and drunken dares with Rhodey, but he starts getting more meaningful ones now. It makes him feel beautiful in his own old, scarred body, and they help him heal what’s left of the damage from the War. His favorite though, is still “Property of S.R.” on his lower back, much to Steve’s distress.

[oyehobi]

My Answer Is You

Pairing: (Hoseok X Reader)

Prompt: Hoseok Confession~

Genre: Slight Angst/Fluff

Words: 2277

You were running; forcing your legs to move even faster, you dared not look back at the strange creature chasing you.

The street you ran on was dimly lit, and there was no one you could call for help to escape the predator behind you. Lungs aching and soaked to the bone from the pouring rain, you could feel it gaining on you with every step.

You were never the graceful type and with one sharp turn to the right, you felt the ground shift beneath you. Expecting to feel the sharp pain of the hard gravel, you were shocked to find that you landed on something surprisingly warm.

Strong arms wrapped around you and suddenly the fear and desperation faded, leaving nothing but a soft glow and the feeling of being exactly where you needed to be behind. Looking up into the eyes of this person you were met with a familiar face as a wave of comfort washed over you.

“Hobi?” You whispered, involuntarily tightening your arms around him.

“Hey there, [Y/N],” he smiled, looking down at you with eyes so full of adoration that it took your breath away.

Suddenly you were aware of the deep growl that came from behind you.

Shaking with fear, you shifted in Hoseok’s arms until you were fully facing the monster. Drawing strength from the feeling of Hoseok’s body pressed behind yours, you slowly opened your eyes.

The monster that you imagined, dripping with blood and a thirst to kill, was nowhere to be found. Instead, there was a beautiful girl in its place. Flipping her long, perfectly styled hair behind her, she threateningly made her way forward until she stood directly in front of you.

Somehow, you thought, this was more frightening than the monster you first imagined.

“Jagi?” She asked, directing the question to Hoseok with her lips curled in a sneer, “what are you doing with-” she took the time to look you up and down, barely concealing the distaste shown on her features, “that?” she finished.

You stepped away from Hoseok in shock, instantly regretting it. Gauging his reaction, you were surprised to see Hoseok looking back at you with a pained expression rather than an apologetic one like you were expecting.  

“Hobi?” You whispered one more time as you noticed the grimace settled on his face.

“I just wanted something to play with,” he said, looking back at the beautiful girl, “I hope you’re not too mad jagi.”

Bang.

You felt his body pull away from yours, leaving you feeling cold despite the warm rain falling on your skin.

Bang.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m not mad,” she said, her sickly smile burning holes into your mind, “you know I don’t like you playing with dirty things.”

BANG.

“I know that love, I promise it won’t happen again,” Hoseok replied. Peeling his eyes away from the girl, he turned to look at you. His blank features showed no sign of recognition among them; instead, all you found was distaste as you continued to watch your best friend glare at you.

BANG!

“Why are you still here?” He sneered.

BANG!

“H-hobi-” you started, but he completely ignored you choosing instead to turn back to the pouting girl in front of him.

“Hoseok!” The girl whined, “get rid of it!”

BANG!

“Of course darling,” Hoseok said, his beautiful smile still able to make your heart beat despite the frozen glare of his eyes. Slowly he reached into the pocket of his dark brown coat, the very same one you bought him three years ago on his birthday, and pulled out a metallic object. A swift click and the object was directed straight at you, it’s silver mouth ready to devour your life.

“H-Hoseok, don’t do this. It’s me, it’s [Y/N]! You know me! I’m your best friend!” You begged, tears streaming down your face.

“Sorry, [Y/N],” he smirked, a wicked glint shining in his eyes, “you never meant much to me.”

“HOSEOK!” You screamed.

A single click sounded as he pulled the trigger.

B A N G !

“[Y/N]! It’s me!”

The rain was the first thing you noticed when you abruptly shot up from the couch, back aching and mind spinning with the terrifying events of your nightmare.

The second thing you noticed was the loud banging at your door.

Checking the time on your phone that you haphazardly threw on the ground after you came home, you found that it was close to three am.

Another bang sounded at your door causing you to jump in surprise; whoever was at the door was determined to get you to let them in.

Forcing yourself to get up, you walked up to the door. Remembering what your parents have always told you about strangers, you grabbed a baseball bat that Hoseok left at your house for “when I’m not here to protect you,” and reached for the door knob.

There were a lot of things you were expecting when you opened the door. A confused drunk neighbor, a polite robber, maybe even an angry policeman. The last thing you expected, however, was to see a soaking wet Hoseok shivering on your front doorstep.

“Hoseok! What are you doing here?” You gasped, quickly throwing aside the bat and inviting him in.

“Did I wake you?” He mumbled, his voice shaky.

“No! Well I mean yes, but it’s okay,” you replied, “let me get you some new clothes.” Half-sprinting to your bathroom a million thoughts ran through your head.

Why was he here? What happened? Confused and unable to shake the dream you just had, you grabbed the fluffiest towels you could find and tried not to think about how good it felt when dream Hobi held you close.

“Here you go,” you said, handing him some of the extra clothes he left over at your house.

You two have been friends for so long that you shared almost everything, clothes, accessories, secrets, you two were inseparable.

Accepting the dry clothes from you, he quickly pulled off his shirt. You felt a bright blush cover your face as your eyes took apart his revealed chest. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, or embarrass yourself any further, you quickly looked away.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat, “why are you here at three am?”

He sighed, and suddenly you knew the exact reason for his visit

“Did she kick you out again?”

Your question was met with silence, and all you could do was stay still, worried that you might have assumed too much.

“Okay you can look now, I’m done changing.”

Turning around, you were met with a sight that instantly held your heart in a death grip. Standing in front of you was not the same boy you had fallen in love with all those years ago. He wasn’t the Hoseok that had stars for eyes and a smile so bright he could put the sun to shame.

The beautiful exuberant boy you had grown so attached to was now replaced with someone new.

This stranger didn’t look anything like the boy who could make flowers grow with just his laugh.

No, this boy just looked tired.

His usually bright features were now dull, and dark circles accented his face. While he used to be all loud grins and friendly jokes, now all he was left with was slumped shoulders and eyes so vacant it made you feel sick.

“She said I was spending too much time with my family,” he croaked out, his voice raspy and filled with the unmistakeable sound of defeat, “she told me to choose between her or my sister, what was I supposed to do?” He stared back you, desperation filling his words.

“I couldn’t do it, I just got up and ran here as quickly as I could. I’m a coward [Y/N], I just ran away.”

“Hoseok-” you started speaking, but you were quickly cut off.

“How could she ask that of me? Doesn’t she know how much my family means to me?”

“Hoseok!” You tried again, but he continued to ramble.

“You don’t understand [Y/N], she’s always like this! I know I shouldn’t have run away, but it’s not really my fault right?” A look of horror flashed on his face as he continued to ignore your attempts to gain his attention. “Oh god. It is my fault-”

“HOSEOK!” You cried, breathing heavily. You finally decided you had enough and for a quick second you were reminded of the dream you had just woken up from.

Shocked at your sudden outburst, Hoseok quickly closed his gaping mouth. It wasn’t like you to shout without a good reason, and for once he had nothing to say.

“Okay now you’re going to listen to me once and for all,” you demanded, pushing him down onto the small couch while you stood in front of him.

“I’ve put up with this for a long time now, and I refuse to sit here and let you continue a relationship that’s only going to hurt you.”

His wide eyes grew soft as he looked down at his feet. The scene almost resembled a young boy getting scolded by his mother and if you weren’t so fed up with the situation you would laugh.

“This girl, she doesn’t want what’s good for you! She doesn’t support you, she only cares about herself. If she really cared for you, she would appreciate you for who you really are and would remind you every day how lucky she was to have you.”

Hoseok slowly lifted his head until he was looking you straight in the eyes, an unknown emotion settled in his irises. Slightly put off by the intense way he was looking at you, you blushed and chose to look at a spot above his head.

“She would tell you that your smile brightened her day like sunshine and that every time you held her close she felt like everything was right in the world.”

You were so caught up in the emotions of your words that you didn’t even notice Hoseok slowly stand up until he was nearly pressed against you, staring deeply into your eyes. You flushed a deep red and tried not to think about his lips so close to yours, as you struggled to continue with your words.

“A-and she would tell you-” you began, but you were quickly interrupted by whispered words that took your breath away.

“She would tell me that she loves me?” He said, his eyes nearly reflecting the eyes of Dream Hoseok when you first fell into his arms.

His gaze moved from your eyes to your lips and lost yourself in the feeling of your first love.

BANG!

A loud crack of thunder sounded, and you quickly jumped away from Hoseok in shock. Cursing yourself for forgetting why he was even here in the first place, you slowly tried to regain your composure.

This wasn’t about you or your broken heart, this was about Hoseok and his girlfriend trouble.

“Anyway,” you cleared your throat for the second time this night, “t-that’s what she would say.”

You turned back around to see that Hoseok hadn’t moved an inch, the intense gaze his eyes now filled with something that looked close to longing.

“That’s what she would say? Or what you would?”

This time it was your turn to be shocked. He moved toward you and you moved backward until you felt your back hit the wall.  

“H-hobi,” you whispered, not trusting your voice to speak when you could feel his hot breath on your mouth.

“Say it [Y/N],” he said, a desperate look in his eyes. It was almost as if he needed you to say it. As if nothing else in the world mattered as long as he heard those words fall from your lips.

“I love you.”

Hoseok crashed his lips against yours and all reservations flew out the door. Your hands automatically found their way to his hair and the only thing you could feel was his body pressed against yours and the feeling of your heart soaring. You kissed him back with so much passion that your head was left spinning; it wasn’t until you were both gasping for air that your mind caught up with your heart.

“No, Hoseok this is wrong. You’re just upset about your girlfriend and-”

You were caught off by Hoseok pressing his lips against yours once more and you vaguely wondered how he was so good at interrupting you.

“Don’t you see?” He said, pulling away, “You were right. It’s you, it’s always been you.”

You shook your head, unable to let yourself believe the words spilling out of his mouth.

“But your girlfriend-”

“I’ll break up with her. I’m done running away from my feelings [Y/N]. I was too stupid to see it before, but the only person who ever really mattered was you. Just being near you makes my heart speed up, and when we’re together everything makes sense.” Hoseok caressed your cheek, softly running his fingers over your trembling lips.

“[Y/N], I love you.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at the words you never thought you would hear from your best friend. That was it, you realized, you were undeniably lost in everything that was Jung Hoseok.

When you told this story years later you could never remember who kissed who first, or what the name of the girl was who sent Hoseok to your doorstep that night.

All of that didn’t matter, you thought, as long as Hoseok held you close and never let go.