#what if they say 'hey if you like guzma fuck you he loves hurting people actually AND doesn't care at all about team skull and also his

[anonprotagging]

I'm too afraid to start the pokemas alola arc....... tbf I haven't played any of them since johto bc I'm too nervous but kalos and alola absolutely make me the most nervous... what if they massacre my faves....... or what if they don't and they turn to the camera and point at me specifically and say that I'm absolutely destroying their characterizations

[pokemagines]

guzma, sycamore, lysandre & colress + mute s/o hcs

ask: Guzma, Sycamore, Lysandre, and Colress with a mute s/o hc?

a/n: I Memed This Ask. also, it got horribly long, so after guzma’s there’s gonna be a read more so it won’t take up so much space on the blog!! signed, mod elesa. ps rip mobile users

guzma

when guzma first met you, he thought you were just a quiet kid. you reminded him eerily of those twins, Sun and Moon.

so, after endless hours of trying to get a word out of you, he starts getting angry. he thinks you’re mocking him by not answering his questions, when in fact, it’s quite the opposite. he’s ready to throw hands when you start signing frantically to him. please don’t hurt me.

thinking you’re throwing up gang signs, he looks at you, confused. it clicks after a moment of your panicked breathing and his brain putting two and two together... “you a mute?” you nod, and it’s like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

since guzma doesn’t know a lick of alolan sign language, he resolves to assigning hand gestures and head nods as a form of communication so he can understand you. at first, you laugh at his outlandish sign for “i’m hungry” when, in fact, it meant “tauros shit”...      + “how the hell was i supposed ta know it meant ‘tauros shit’?! i’m no linguist! hey, stop laughing!”

while he was uncomfortable with the idea of silence, he soon realized mute people make noises just like regular people do. they just can’t... conversate. he found that out after you spilled hot tapu cocoa on your favorite shirt, and also after the two of you had-- “hey, keep it pg in there!” hau yells in the distance.

guzma: what the fuck are you trying to say to me [y/n]

you: [signing furiously] U R M O M G A Y

guzma: FUCK YOU GOT ME AGAIN

sycamore

augustine’s first encounter with a mute person was... well, with you. safe to say, his good looks couldn’t really save him the embarrassment he must’ve caused you when he flirted with you at the supermarket and you couldn’t really... say much. of course, he had assumed you were just speechless he was talking to you — but you can’t be speechless if you can’t even speak, can you?      + “oh, ma cher, am i bothering you? you haven’t spoken a word to me this entire time.” you’re clenching the cold pack of Krabby to hopefully calm down the blush on your face, but you’re pretty sure that only makes it worse. “do you not talk to strangers? i don’t usually give out my number, but you seem so interesting i don’t think i’ll regret it.” he leaves you be after registering the number in your pokedex, and you immediately text him.      + i’m mute. that’s why i didn’t say anything to you. he’s in the checkout line and the look he gives you is one of pure horror and mortification of what he just did.

you make it a goal of yours to tease him about it every time you two go to the supermarket. somehow, his faux-paus ended up with an apology dinner, you offering your guest bedroom to him, him cuddling you as a form of apology and you panicking, red-faced, at the intimate contact.

a part of you doesn’t believe he’s actually a pokemon professor, but when he shows you his lab, you realize... wow. this guy actually has a brain. he’s genuinely intelligent, attractive, and... would you call him funny? i mean, he can’t seem to take jokes at his expense very well, so... perhaps not.

sycamore is more than willing to learn kalosian sign language to communicate with you. you had no knowledge of his understanding of sign language prior, so when he signs a deliberate “how are you doing this morning?”, you assume he knows what he’s doing.      + “m-ma cherie, i don’t know what you’re signing! i only learned that this morning to try and impress you!” oh. that definitely makes more sense. you snicker and sign at him, amateur. he has to search it up on Voila to know what it means... you can’t help the fit of giggles when he yells down the hall of the lab, “YOU CALLED ME AN AMATEUR?”

in comparison with everyone else, sycamore is relatively silly and lets his guard down when he’s around you. it’s initially why you thought he was a total bag of rocks, only to find out he’s one of the greatest minds in the kalos region. a part of you feels special that he only shows this side to you — another part wishes he would use that intelligence of his to get a clue that you’re trying to ride his dick into the sunset, but hey. 

lysandre

lysandre has so many employees he doesn’t ever get to know them by name. he has an especially hard time remembering you at first because you’re so... plain. one thing that stands out to him is the fact that all you ever do is nod and smile rather than say dumb shit like his other employees.

the obedience is definitely a plus (or at least the appearance of obedience), as he knows he can count on you to get your job done. once you get promoted and you can sit in on executive meetings as a note taker, he always notices your subtle smirks and facial expression changes based off of what people are saying.      + you’re more than knowledgeable about what goes on in the lysandre company, so you’ve definitely formed an opinion or two. you shock lysandre one day after sending him an e-mail detailing why he shouldn’t approve funding for a new project until the pokedex has been ‘perfected.’       + when the new pokedex update is released, stocks shoot up and critics praise lysandre for somehow managing to achieve god-like levels of innovation. the next day, he approaches you at the office and nearly pulls you into a hug as he thanks you for the e-mail...

he realizes you can’t speak on the first date when you point silently to what you want on the lavish dinner menu rather than say it aloud, an action that strikes him as odd. “can you speak, [y/n]?” you shake your head, and his eyebrows raise. “mute?” you nod and point to your throat, as if saying vocal chords don’t work. he nods, understanding.

lysandre falls in love with you after a few months of knowing you, intrigued at how you get around without the use of speech. he even goes on a ‘cleanse’ of sorts to communicate exclusively in kalosian sign language so he could talk to you, something that makes you blush profusely.      + after all, it’s not every day where you’re sitting on an expensive couch and a gorgeous red-haired man signs at you, want to go to the bedroom? 

colress

although a man of many talents, he lacks a prowess for linguistics, despite putting it on his resume and claiming he’s fluent... the lie shows itself when you start working in the alolan lab with him, and you approach him and ask him a question. where exactly do we go to the bathroom if we’re in this cramped space? he stares at you, confused.      + don’t you know alolan sign language? he manages to get out something along the lines of an “uhhh” before you sigh, drop your hands and mouth ‘bathroom’ and ‘where’. he seems to understand you at that point and chuckles awkwardly, because... “well, there really is no bathroom around here...”

he confesses to you he doesn’t know a lick of ASL and you snicker, shaking your head as you go back to your work. colress makes you promise to not say anything to anyone, and you just shrug and continue your work. 

the first few weeks of knowing each other was nearly impossible to communicate. he would speak to you, asking complex questions and expecting you to somehow be able to communicate just as complex answers. how the hell were you supposed to do that without rudely gesturing for him to look through your microscope and your notes??? defeated, you resolved to handwriting your responses.

a few months of knowing each other and colress can finally communicate in understandable ASL, although he still asks for you to slow down when you sign too fast. it’s odd for the other lab workers, seeing the two of you move your hands and bodies to communicate, but they eventually learn to ignore it. 

you’re the only person in the office who makes colress nervous, mostly because his intellect is finally challenged. he’s never been the ‘weaker’ person, so to speak, so when he finds himself stumped on how to communicate with you... he makes an effort to learn how to.       + you’ve seen him nervous, you’ve heard him beg, you’ve watched him sweat profusely as he tries to understand your thought process without the aid of spoken word. it really brings people closer together, these panicked and stressful experiences.      + it takes a year and a half but when colress finally takes the opportunity to bed you, you end up domming him. a shocker, yes, as colress has never been one to completely submit to a partner, but... the mysterious air you give off during sex is enough to make his hands clammy and his dick harder than diamonds.       + “this is the only relationship i’ve had where there’s been a switch dynamic, [y/n]... you do crazy things to me, i must say.” you smile, cheeks rosy, and plant a kiss on his cheek.

[guzma-reader-hell]

Guzma and Reader: Blanket

Alternative title: Why it’s important to be honest with your partner even if it hurts you.

I’ve seen a couple headcanons floating around that Guzma would be the most likely to be in an open relationship and I thought I’d explore that in my own unusual way while trying to get back into the swing of writing these things again. I was about to post my completed ones, but of course I didn’t like the rough drafts so I’m starting them over before I post. Of course I’m having a difficult time doing this, so I decided to just hammer out some angst to try and get rid of this writer’s block.

READER BEWARE: Sensitive material ahead. Please avoid this if you feel that you cannot read angst of this nature.

TW: Abuse

…

It all started because of a blanket.

There weren’t any rooms left. Conversely this also meant there wasn’t even a bed for you, at least, not in the academic sense of the word. You only had an old couch to lay on in the middle of the hallway by Plumeria’s room where people could see your every move when you got ready for bed (you always got ready and did everything you needed in the bathroom) so you couldn’t do much there except watch people as they watched you. Guzma had remedied this problem for when the evenings got cold: a stolen Swanna down duvet with two reversible colors, black and gray. You liked to think it was his way of thinking of you specially outside of his other girlfriends.

“Gotta keep my baby girls happy.” He’d told you. Had given you a kiss while holding onto another Grunt who had been seething. You thought She would get over it. Really this whole mess was your fault.

You’d been ok with keeping the relationship open, or at least, you pretended to be. For a long time you tried to convince yourself that people did things that hurt out of true love. Sharing with at least three other girls was just one of them. You’d grinned and bared the brunt of the pain for a long time, but what you should have done was told him since the beginning it made you uncomfortable. Been brutally honest even if it killed you. That way, you both cold have mutually agreed this would not work and just ignored each other. Let each other find your happiness elsewhere. Remained on good terms. Been strictly friends.

It happened when your blanket had “mysteriously” gone missing. The perpetrator had even come up to you one night when you were trying not to shiver, asking in a falsetto where your blanket had gone. You knew where it was and you knew who was using it. You just didn’t want to make a scene because of who it was that took it. So you kept your mouth clamped tightly shut. Shrugged. Avoided eye contact and sat down with a book at night as though nothing was wrong. She was the fiercest of Guzma’s girlfriends, and whatever She wanted She took. The others were kind to you, but if they wanted to keep all their teeth they had to keep their mouths shut when She did her thing. A few of the others had passed you by on nights when it was just too cold to sleep, mouthing the words “I’m so sorry” and giving you warm Tapu Cocoa to help alleviate the hurt you felt deep inside your bones. They did other things too such as letting you have extra time with Guzma, the most precious gift any of you had.

During one of these times he’d found out. Inevitably without any protection from the cold and being out in the damp you’d gotten a pretty nasty cold. Every time Guzma came in to kiss you he’d stop and let you hack out a lung. It hurt and he had no idea what was wrong with you.

“What the hell’s the matter?!” He’d asked. Concerned despite the wording. You’d been about to answer that it was nothing when a particularly violent cough shook your body so hard you almost fell off his chair.

“Nah uh babe.” Guzma said, shaking his head from side to side. “I’m getting your ass into bed, you’re too sick to be up.”

You protested in your quiet way the whole trip in his arms to your little green couch. Dread filled your heart when he laid you down and said something about how he “gotta keep you warm in your blankie”. Guzma looked under the couch, in the space beside the arm, everywhere before he paused and looked at you with a dangerous frown.

“Hey,” he said your name, “Where’s yer blankie?”

It sounded so weird hearing him say it so seriously. You were tempted amidst the fear to laugh nervously.

“I… I ‘unno…” you whispered.

“Babe come on.” he said, trying to look into your eyes as you averted him. “Be for real, where’s yer blankie?”

Silence. Then again another “I don’t know”.

“What didja do with it babe??” Guzma demanded. You couldn’t tell him the truth. Only half of it. He asked you again when you paused to cough.

“Gonna ask you one. More. Time.” Guzma told you. Seething. Ready to start screaming because his voice was no more than a hiss through gritted teeth. “And then I’m gonna get fuckin’ pissed off with you. Where’s. Yer. Mother. FUCKIN’. BLANKIE.”

“… lost it…”

“BULLSHIT!” He exploded, repeating the expletive four times before laying into you. By now the whole house was watching it happen. She was there, watching with a smile. The other girlfriends were there, looking on mournfully. Even Gladion, who never came out of his little hovel had come to watch wide eyed and fearful as Guzma screamed and carried on. Unluckily for you Plumeria was out, otherwise she would have intervened immediately.

“YER A LOUSY ASS FUCKIN’ LIAR!” he roared, shaking you roughly by the shoulders and making you frightened. “THE FUCK DO YA THINK YER DOIN’ FUCKIN’ BULLSHITTING ME LIKE THAT?! WHO FUCKIN’ TOOK THAT BLANKET BABE?! TELL ME NOW!”

You couldn’t keep up the lie, but you couldn’t tell him. You were more afraid of Her retaliation than you were of his. All you could do was cry and struggle to breathe through the one good nostril you had that was now clogging with snot, fearful tears dripping down your cheeks and mingling with the sick ones. Eventually he stopped yelling and figured it out when one of the others, Plumeria’s girl, had been watching the spectacle with the other grunts and pointed very subtly to the girl’s room. That was all he needed.

He let you go and sprinted into the girl’s room, throwing things and making them crash against the walls until he came thundering out, your blanket in his hand like a piece of incriminating evidence. You could see Her blanch when his left hand crackled into a fist, looking as though he would commit murder. Guzma was fully capable, had hit before and would hit again, only now he had the lust to kill.

You wished he would take it out on you.

He was too angry to scream anymore. Guzma threw your blanket unceremoniously onto the couch, staying only a moment before he walked through scurrying grunts. His fists collided with walls. He kicked down the door to the girl’s room. Grunts hid in all directions, and She did too, but not before staring you down and giving you a look that told you what would happen after Guzma stopped his rampage and went to bed too full of booze to protect you.

Quietly, slowly, suppressing your coughing so strongly you forgot to breathe, you reached under your couch for your tattered backpack as Guzma began his strangled screaming. You made sure only the essentials were there: your toothbrush, your Pokémon, the few pennies you possessed in this world. There were no other clothes except the ones you wore on your back and one pair of lace underwear that Guzma had stolen for special occasions. You touched the blanket once, recoiled when a bookcase came smashing down somewhere in the house, thought better of it, then clung to it fiercely after you had put your backpack on. It was the only thing from the house you dared to take, and practical too. You didn’t have an umbrella.

Quietly you slid down the stairs and tried not to hear Guzma’s otherworldly howls that ripped from his throat. A vase narrowly missed tearing your face into a million pieces as you ducked its decent from above, letting it shatter on the ground where you once were.

He didn’t hear the front doors close.

[friendlyalien]

already asked some of these but how about s through z for the fandom meme

S - I'll probably grossly misunderstand the question but here goes I always thought that Lucius and Narcissa would be a-okay with Draco being bi or gay. Don't ask me to explain why because I have no clue but I had this idea stuck in my brain for as long as I can remember.

Oh, and something about the way Christophe acts makes me believe he is hella insecure. Actually, I have planned out a 50ish chapter story about it, but I refuse to even touch the behemoth before I deal with my WIPs.

T - unless stated otherwise, everyone is bi. Yes, I am a multishipper, why do you ask?

U - I don't have 5 fandoms fucking hell! The last one is a character I find severly underrated.

Pokemon - James, itsyaboi Guzma, Paul, Barry and Nando (fun fact: Nando has only one (1) entry on Rule34 and it's not even sexual. Don't ask questions.)

Yuri on Ice - Yuri, Emil (!!!), Chris, Phichit, Georgi (the boy is underrated). Yea I know it says five but JJ.

Harry Potter - Draco (duh), Remus (duh!), book!Ginny, Neville, and not really underrated but Snape

Beastars (haven't finished reading yet) - Legosi, Louis (bastard twink grew on me), I can't think of her name but the hen that lays eggs for the sandwiches Legosi eats on Wednesday-then-Friday, that badass panda whose name I won't even attempt writing down, and the cheetah girl (names are hard okay?)

V - Pokemon - you want me to pick one, huh? Rocketshipping.

Yuri on Ice - fuck the canon, Michemil.

Harry Potter - I believe you can parse the answer yourself at this point

W - Drarry - hatefuck. It was my first rival ship for a reason.

I won't disclose the name of the ship because it's RP (real people) and I feel bad for liking it - corsetry

Fucking Victuuri got me into foot stuff (Victor's feet thing is a legitimate tag on AO3)

I have seen too much praise kink in the Otayuri tag to not be into it.

X - Jean-Jacques Leroy is a precious cocky boi and shall not be slandered the way he is.

Georgi deserves therapy and a happy ending.

Isabella doesn't. Deserve. The. Bashing. She. Gets. (And yes I like to pair her fiancé with literally anyone else but she doesn't have to be a bitch. I am a sucker for supportive!ex.)

Same goes for Anya, and I don't really like her to begin with.

Emil is a baby but I think that's the general belief.

Y - to all the people that are trying to get me into Sherlock - stop. To all the people that are reblogging Star Wars fanart - the art is beautiful but won't happen.

And I used to have a shitton of Voltron fanart on my dash like 2 years ago but never got into the show. Dodged a bullet there, lemme tell you.

Z - okay, I love Yuri on Ice with all my heart. I think the characters are all interesting and they make me wanna explore them more, in different settings. This anime got me back into writing.

But hell, does it make an injustice for the girl part of the show. Like, I was making myself height and age charts of all the characters so I won't have to go on Wiki and get lost in Georgi's beautiful eyes for ten minutes every time I needed a reminder that he is older than Victor. The girl skaters (the whole two of them) have no canon height, and the only reason we know Sara's birthday is because she's Michele's twin. Like come on. I am not even that much of a femslash shipper but... would it hurt to have more than, what, three major background characters?

That rant over - man I hate that I have gotten myself into a RPF. I am not (and will never) be writing fics about them but I feel like that even the fact that I read what is out there (not) and comment and encourage is bad enough, especially when they have partners. Nobody is pretending that it's real and I haven't seen anyone slandering their spouses (I'd go fucking feral if that happened) but... yeah.

I'd love if they put out a statement about their feeling about shipping (I remember one of them joking about what their ship name with another member was, so there is a good chance they are aware) because I am conflicted as hell.

I used to be involved in the Smosh fandom like decades ago and rememeber they even used to read fics, and that was fun and kind of reassuring. You know, that they knew and didn't mind/care enough to try and say "hey, stop that". That it didn't affect their lives in negative way, because that is the last thing I'd want to be a part of, even passively.

Rant over, everyone go home.