#what if karkat's mutation lets him live as long as an empress though

[fuchsiareign]

CG: I FUCKING SWEAR, CAPTOR IS GETTING LAZIER EVERY NIGHT.

TC: I tHiNk He JuSt Be GeTtInG oLd BeSt FrIeNd :0(

CG: BULLSHIT I’M ALMOST HALF A SWEET OLDER THAN HIM AND I DON’T TAKE FOR-FUCKING-EVER JUST TO GET UP OUT OF A CHAIR.

TC: . . .

TC: ok babe you and me are gonna need to have a real serious talk

TC: SOON

CG: WHAT?

[cthonicascendant]

<<oooh, fun questions~>>

<<so, i'm going to do these out of order, for the reason that... okay, honestly, a LOT of this hinges on the answer to topic 6. as in, it was one of the first headcanons we ever had about eridan, from like. practically the moment of his introduction. so it ended up informing pretty much every headcanon we had afterwards. (also, like, i have permission to keep it real with you: the headmate list does not completely list every system member. we have an eridan fictive, so like... we're using headcanon VERY loosely here lmao we actually know the guy.)>>

<<also this is super long and slightly disjointed. we're gonna cut the post here, more underneath.>>

<<so. why does he live above the water: his gills are fucked. it's a genetic malformation - karkat really did not do a great job with the whole ectobiology thing. he can still breathe underwater, but it's uncomfortable at best and leaves him lightheaded after a while. so, he lives above water, because it would be the worst kind of irony for a seadweller to drown. (more like death by very slow oxygen deprivation, but still.) this is also why he wears a scarf all the time, it hides his gills. seems silly, but this is alternia, and I get the impression they wouldn't tolerate a mutation like that in a seadweller. not sure why. /sarcasm>>

<<alright, so. the other core headcanon here is that he is an insecure, overemotional, and melodramatic little shit. he is not cool or confident and anyone who has ever thought that needs to just fucking reread the comic instead of arguing with me. (no, seriously, i have hit the back button on that fic before, and i will do it again.) if he can whine about it, if he can make a production about it, if he can do literally anything that is not blunt, open, and honest communication about it... he will. (he also deeply resents this paragraph and is generously allowing me to leave it in.)>>

>.i'm just going to butt in here. .that is a terrible foundation for any sort of relationship. .but especially moirallegiance. .if your partner is not capable of digging through the bullshit to figure out what you actually mean.<

<<yep. so let's just slide right into that relationship with fef, now that we've gotten the two core premises of my eridan ampora down.>>

<<i can't really explain their relationship without getting into the headcanon of how they met: namely, at somewhere around two or three sweeps old, feferi has to hunt for her lusus. (headcanon is that typically heiresses are hatched about seven to eight sweeps apart, so when the current heiress is going to challenge the empress, the next heiress has to start feeding gl'bgolyb. gl'bgolyb is big enough she can take care of the next heiress while still minding the current one.) anyways, make a long story short, she tries to kill eridan's lusus.>>

<<he ends up feeling pity for her, because she fails miserably and is understandably very upset about this, and offers to help her. his lusus can fly, he's learning how to shoot, it's perfect, it's like he was destined to help her. (the melodramatics started early.) obviously, he successfully made his case.>>

<<they weren't moirails until a few perigees after meeting, though. anyways, point i want to get at is this is not the best foundation for any sort of relationship. eridan kind of feels like he HAS to be "useful" to feferi, y'know? i don't know if he ever really shakes that sense of obligation, either.>>

<<like, i truly don't think they would have any sort of close relationship if it weren't for the whole gl'bgolyb situation - they are WAY too different personality-wise. fef is a lot more genuine, and that doesn't mix well with eridan's theatricality. she just doesn't have the patience for his carp. never mind her ideas of what culling should be - eridan has negative desire to take care of someone weaker than him, and if you consider my gill headcanon, he ALSO has no desire to BE culled in ANY sense of the word.>>

<<speaking of the gill headcanon - he never tells feferi. she thinks the living on land is just him being a LITTL-E hypocritical when he wants to kill all the landdwellers, that the scarf is just a fashion thing, and so are the glasses. (he actually needs the glasses too.)>>

<<i don't think eridan CONSCIOUSLY sees her as a means to an end? the end being his continued existence. i think he does actually care about her. the problem is, he doesn't, hmm... 100% trust her, or entirely see her as FEFERI and not THE HEIRESS, if that makes sense? he puts her on a pedestal.>>

<<personally, i think they'd make good kismeses. i think they both care about the other just enough to not actually WANT the other dead under ordinary circumstances - i have so many opinions about the meteor but we're not going there yet - but they're just too diametrically opposed to not end up hating each other at some point. tbh, i think in canon fef is already well on the way to hating eridan even before they break up. eridan's got a little catching up to do, but like. i could see him flipping pitch, even in a no-SGRUB AU. i dunno, the idea compels me.>>

<<as to why he wanted to kill all the landdwellers: i'mma keep it real with you, i kind of got the impression that - purely doylist analysis here - the genocide thing was meant to be a contrast to feferi's idea of culling. i don't think there was really any deep thought put into why eridan would be genocidal by hussie, and it makes it a frustrating character trait to try to work with when even from a purely canon standpoint eridan just doesn't seem THAT committed to it.>>

<here's why i do not get the impression he seriously wants to accomplish that goal. for one, you don't keep commissioning the same troll who keeps giving you devices that fail. for two, you also probably don't commission a landdweller to make the device to kill all landdwellers, since there's a very strong likelihood that they'll sabotage the device to begin with out of basic self-preservation. for three, he makes exceptions. now, admittedly, we all saw how well that turned out in the end, but i am not getting into it about the meteor yet. and, okay, i do need to reread canon because it's been a couple years since my last readthrough, but i can't recall him ever actually giving a reason beyond "landdwwellers suck" (paraphrased heavily, i'm sure) in the comic itself. which isn't really a reason.>>

<<like, okay, at least with my gill headcanon you then get the motivation of proving he's just as much a seadweller as any other. if he can just figure out how to kill all landdwellers without affecting anyone violet or fuchsia blooded, then doesn't that make him a seadweller too? even if actually living underwater would kill him slowly? it's a fucking stupid ass motivation - shut up, eridan, it is and you know it - like i cannot even grant it "cool motive, still murder" status... but at least it's a motive.>>

<<it kind of boils down to "this is what happens when an emotionally unstable person with a predisposition towards choosing violence is raised in a society that tells him he's better (and worse) than everyone else by virtue of genetic lottery". it's about proving he's a proper seadweller, however you'd like to interpret that. also, honestly, just a smidge of teenage melodramatics about how if he kills all the landdwellers they will stop tossing garbage into the fucking ocean he swims in. and, i think, to go back to his relationship with fef for a bit, an unconscious one is he wanted her to try harder to stop him or convince him not to? (i'm personally not sure what more she could have done, but. emotions are not logical, y'know?)>>

<<alright, i'm gonna pause here because this is like. fifteen paragraphs and took me nearly three days. there's more. there is so much more. i am so nervous about posting this. i haven't talked headcanons in YEARS.>>

Also I’m curious about your headcanons for Eridan :3

<<we are going to need a little more guidance than that because, uh...>>

[ID: a gif of two men sitting across from each other. one of the men pulls out a scroll and unrolls it. the scroll bounces along the floor as it unrolls, and it is covered in small text.]

<<we weren't kidding when we said we have a lot... like. so many. and i'm really not sure where to begin.>>