#what if i said i have more of this that's still a wip

[moonriizing]

urs | p.sh (18+)

You weren't supposed to want more, but you did. What started as a casual fling became more complicated when you found yourself caught between your desire and the reality that Park Sunghoon's heart belonged to someone else.

Genre: college au, situationship, smut Pairing: Park Sunghoon x afab!reader Warnings: mature themes, explicit sexual content (18+), NOT PROOFREAD. I'll come back to do that when I can lol. Notes: 10k words. Listening to urs by NIKI. My first Sunghoon fic and it's written on a whim! lol. I wrote this instead of working on my overdue wip lol. I hope you like it! Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know them personally nor claim they would ever behave in real life like they were portrayed in this story. ALSO, if you see a similar story from a different blog for a different idol, that is me. xoxo, cal.

Enjoy~

You first met Park Sunghoon at a frat party you had no real interest in attending. It was the first night of the semester, the music was good, the drinks were flowing, and the energy was exactly what you needed. It was the kind of night that made you feel young and invincible, where bad decisions were just part of the fun. And tonight, you were on a mission: hook up with a hot guy.

It was a promiscuous mission, you knew that. And you would be lying if you said you weren’t that kind of girl because you were! But you weren’t the reckless, messy type. No, you were the smart kind of promiscuous. The kind who could have fun without losing control. You were practical about it—always sober enough to make sound decisions, always keeping your boundaries clear. Simply put, you were the best type of promiscuous.

As a college girl with ambitions, you couldn’t afford to get tangled in romance and all that commitment nonsense. Too much work. But you had needs, and fulfilling them meant nights like this—scanning the crowd for a guy who could tickle your fancy, no strings attached.

That was how you spotted him.

Tall, handsome, but oddly out of place. While the rest of the party thrived on the chaos, he stood by himself in a corner. He had a cup in his hand, but it wasn’t like he was enjoying it. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else—his posture slouched just enough to suggest he wasn’t a part of this. He had that bored, almost irritable look on his face, the kind that made you wonder if he was only here because someone dragged him along.

You were not the type to hesitate, so you didn’t. You’d done this enough times to know exactly what you were after, and right now? You were after him.

“Is this your first frat party, or are you just too cool for it?” you asked, leaning in just enough to get his attention.

He glanced at you, his eyes flicking over your face for a second before landing on your lips, then back up to your eyes. Up close, he was even more good-looking—long lashes, sharp features, lips that curled just slightly at the corners like he was already amused by you, and a couple of beauty marks on his face that made him even more striking.

He was definitely your type.

“You look like you’d rather be anywhere else,” you added, taking a sip of your drink, not breaking eye contact.

“That obvious?” he asked, his voice low, almost melodic.

You smirked, liking the way his voice was as perfect as his looks. “You look miserable,” you pointed out, still grinning.

He chuckled lightly, amused but not exactly thrilled. “What about you? Having fun?”

You shrugged. “I wasn’t. But right now, I think I might be…” You let your gaze wander, deliberately slow, from his face to the exposed skin of his chest where a few buttons were undone.

Sunghoon smirked, his gaze trailing over you in a way that was appreciative without being too obvious. “Well, that makes two of us,” he replied suggestively.

He flirted right back!

“I’m Sunghoon,” he said, offering his hand for a shake. You took it and gave him your name.

Your eyes locked with his—now more curious, sizing him up. For a few seconds, it was just the two of you staring each other down, trying to gauge each other’s thoughts with your hands still joined. Then you saw a flicker in his eyes that made you come to an agreement with your own intuition.

You tilted your head, eyes still locked with his. “Do you wanna have sex with me?”

His eyes widened slightly, his brows lifting in surprise—visibly caught off guard by your suggestion. His grip on your hand loosened, though he didn’t let go completely. You kept your gaze steady, showing no hesitation and letting him know you were serious. A few seconds of silence passed where you almost thought he’d say no, but then he exhaled a soft laugh.

“Are you always this forward?” he asked, amused now.

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Only when I see someone I like.”

He tilted his head slightly, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “And you like me?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.”

With that, his smirk widened, and before you could second-guess yourself, he set his cup down. “My place or yours?”

And just like that, you were out of the party and heading to whatever the hell came next. No strings, no pressure. Just the way you liked it.

You didn’t know it then, but that was when the tsunami that would come crashing in began to take shape.

You didn’t mean for it to happen again. It was supposed to be a one-time thing—fun, uncomplicated. But he was phenomenal, so it happened a second time. And a third. And eventually, you just lost count.

Maybe it was because, other than the fact that he was really good at it, he was also easy to be around. He wasn’t like the others—the ones who got clingy after a night or acted like they were doing you a favor by sleeping with you. Sunghoon was different. He never overstayed his welcome, never asked for more than you were willing to give, but he wasn’t distant either. If anything, he was… nice.

Not in a fake, trying-too-hard way. Just nice. Made you feel comfortable, always made sure you finished before he did, and never left without saying something witty that made you roll your eyes. He had this way of being detached but not cold, like he had mastered the art of keeping things casual without being an asshole.

“You know,” you mused, sprawled across his bed, still catching your breath, “my first impression of you was that you were boring and miserable. Turns out you know how to make a girl have fun.”

Standing by his closet, Sunghoon threw you an amused glance as he pulled a sweatshirt over his head. “Yeah? I aim to please.”

You smirked. “That sounds like something a guy who thinks he’s good in bed would say.”

He let out a soft laugh, running a hand through his hair before turning to you, looking almost too put-together for someone who had just spent an hour between your legs. “And? Am I not?”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, pretending to consider it. “Hmm. You’re alright.”

He scoffed, tossing a pillow at you, which you barely dodged. “You’re a bad liar.”

You grinned, stretching lazily. “Well, I can’t have you getting a big head, can I?”

Sunghoon shook his head, his lips curling into that infuriatingly charming smirk. “Too late for that.”

It was easy. Too easy. Maybe that’s why you let it keep happening.

Behind closed doors, there was no restraint. It didn’t matter if it was your place or his—once the door was closed, your hands were on his neck, his lips found your skin, and clothes barely made it past the foyer before being discarded.

Sunghoon was incredible in bed. He was controlled, precise, yet somehow still desperate when he kissed you, when he pressed you against the mattress, when he groaned your name like it was the only thing keeping him from spiraling. And you? You had mastered the art of making him unravel.

You knew exactly what made him weak, how to turn his composure into incoherence, how to make him grip your waist a little harder or breathe your name in a way that made your stomach flip. It was exhilarating, effortless—two people who just fit perfectly when it came to this.

But outside? You were mere acquaintances.

A nod in the hallway. A fleeting smile across the quad. If you happened to pass each other at a party, he’d tip his cup in your direction, and you’d lift a brow in acknowledgment. No one knew. No one suspected a thing. And you liked it better that way. You were both civil and could control your urges.

Except for when you couldn’t.

Like now.

You were leaving class when Sunghoon caught your wrist, pulling you into an empty lecture hall.

“What—”

He kissed you before you could finish, his hands already gripping your hips, pressing you against the nearest desk. The kiss was hot, urgent, like he had been holding back all day.

“Wow, I think you missed me a little,” you teased when he finally pulled away, breathless.

Sunghoon scoffed, but his fingers traced the sleeve of your dress like he wasn’t done with you yet. “You should wear this more often.”

You smirked. “What? Hoon, you did not pull me in here just because I’m wearing a dress.”

“It’s a really nice dress,” he grinned, leaning in to kiss you again.

You kissed him back, snaking your arms around his neck. His hand slipped under your dress, squeezing your thighs firmly. When the familiar warmth started creeping up your chest, you held his hand to stop him.

“This is not a good idea,” you told him, smiling at the puppy-like look on his face.

He exhaled sharply, shaking his head like he regretted his own impulse. But he didn’t let go. Instead, he leaned in again, his lips brushing yours like he couldn’t help himself.

And then you heard the sound of voices just outside the door.

In an instant, Sunghoon stepped back, running a hand through his hair like nothing had happened. You casually adjusted your dress. When the door creaked open, and a couple of students poked their heads in, you and Sunghoon were already on opposite sides of the room.

“Is this Professor Smith’s class?” one of them asked just as you spotted the same name written on the board in front.

“It is,” you said smoothly, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you strode past Sunghoon without so much as a glance.

Outside, in the open air, you felt his presence behind you, his steps easy and unhurried. As you reached the main path to the quad, he finally passed you, his shoulder brushing yours just slightly.

“See you around,” he murmured, low enough that only you could hear.

You smirked, not looking back. “See you around.”

But even with all of that, you could tell he was drawing a line between you. He didn’t have to say it. You could see it in the way he never texted first, the way he kissed you like he meant it but pulled away too quickly after. The way he made you laugh but never let the moment linger too long.

And maybe you should have done the same.

You didn’t mean to fall for him. You really didn’t. But it was hard not to when, in between the sneaking around and the mind-blowing sex, Sunghoon was just... Sunghoon. Nice and thoughtful in a way that made it almost impossible to keep things casual.

Like when the lightbulb in your room went out, and he arrived at your place with a new one, climbed on a chair, and replaced it himself.

“I was gonna do that, you know,” you said, arms crossed as you leaned against the wall, watching him screw the new bulb into place. “I’m just a little busy these days.”

He climbed down, dusting his hands off. “Yeah, but can you even reach that high?”

You rolled your eyes, but when he patted your head like you were some kid, you didn’t swat his hand away. Instead, you found yourself watching him as he moved around your space so easily.

Or the way he always refilled your bedside tumbler before he left your place. You didn’t even notice it at first, but one morning, you woke up, throat dry, and reached for it instinctively—only to realize it was full. Ice-cold. Like he had just topped it off before slipping out.

And then there was the night you were cramming for an exam, drowning in highlighter ink and frustration, when your door swung open, and Sunghoon walked in like he owned the place.

“I’m about to become your favorite person in the world,” he announced, dropping a thick stack of papers on your desk.

You blinked up at him. “What is this?”

“My old notes,” he said, ruffling your hair before plopping onto your bed like he had all the time in the world. “They’re neat. Better than whatever middle school doodles you have going on.”

You flipped through them, and he wasn’t lying—his notes were immaculate. Organized, highlighted, complete with diagrams. You stared at them, then at him, sprawled out on your bed like he had no idea what he’d just done.

“You didn’t strike me as a guy who took his studies seriously,” you teased, although you didn’t really think that way about him.

Sunghoon smirked, turning his head to look at you. “Why? Did you think the only thing I knew how to do was make your legs shake?”

You rolled your eyes, but it didn’t stop the warmth creeping up your chest. “Be real, Hoon. You’re not that good.”

“Liar liar, pants on fire,” he lilted, his eyes shifting back to his phone.

You fell for him because hookups weren’t supposed to be this thoughtful. Hookups weren’t supposed to linger after sex to fix your lightbulb or make sure you stayed hydrated. They weren’t supposed to look after you in ways so small, so casual, that you almost missed them.

You caught yourself wondering. Did he care about you more than just a hookup? Or worse—did you want him to?

You were at a café with your friends when his name came up. 

It started casually enough—half-listening to the conversation while stirring the melting ice in your drink, until one of them, Lily, suddenly said, “Oh, by the way, I saw Sunghoon at your apartment complex the other day. Didn’t know you guys were neighbors.”

Your hand stilled, heartbeat picking up pace at the sudden mention of his name. You blinked once, twice, before mustering up an easy shrug. “Huh. Neither did I.”

Lily laughed, oblivious. “Right? He was coming out of your building. I was gonna say hi, but he looked like he was in a hurry.”

Across the table, Tammy tilted her head. “Maybe he was visiting someone? From what I know, he lives with Jake in a different neighborhood.”

“Maybe,” Lily mused, sipping her drink. Then, as if the thought just occurred to her, she added, “Oh! You and Jenna are neighbors, right?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know any Jenna.”

“Jenna! The girl who won the poll for prettiest student last year!” she explained, her expression turning conspiratorial. “She’s Sunghoon’s ex.”

Your heart sank to the pit of your stomach.

Lily went on, oblivious. “Guess he’s still hoping she’ll take him back.”

The words landed like a slap. You almost asked her to repeat herself, but the way Tammy nodded in understanding told you that you heard right.

“Yeah,” Tammy said. “They were together for two years. I heard he was really sad when they broke up.”

Lily clicked her tongue. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did get back together. They were that couple, you know?”

That couple. The ones who belonged together. The ones who had history, real history—not just stolen moments behind closed doors.

You swallowed, forcing a small smirk. “Didn’t know you guys were keeping up with Sunghoon’s love life like this.”

Lily nodded. “Jenna and I used to hang out when I was still in the council.”

Then she started rambling about their history, how Jenna broke Sunghoon’s heart, how he never really moved on. You nodded along, pretending to listen, but your mind was stuck on every moment you spent with him. The way he pulled you closer in his sleep, how he never let you walk home alone, the way he looked at you sometimes—like maybe you were something more special to him.

But you weren’t. You weren’t the one he wanted. You never were. And just like that, the guessing game was over.

He didn’t want you like you wanted him. You were genuinely just a fling.

Still, you smiled, made some joke that had your friends laughing, and sipped your drink like nothing was wrong. Like your stomach hadn’t just dropped to the floor.

Later, when you saw Sunghoon again—when he let himself into your apartment with that lazy smirk, hands already reaching for you—you didn’t hesitate. You let him touch you, let him kiss you like nothing had changed.

Because for him, nothing had.

And if he didn’t know the difference or couldn’t see the shift, then you sure as hell weren’t going to show him.

Does it make sense to want your ex back and exclusively sleep with someone else? NO.

It was stupid. Sunghoon was stupid. That was what you told yourself every time the thought crossed your mind—every time you caught yourself comparing.

You never voiced it out loud, though. Not to your friends, because Sunghoon was popular, and they’d pry if they knew you were sleeping with him. Not to him, for obvious reasons. And mainly because you had pride. You were the one who said you wouldn’t get attached—the one who laughed at girls who caught feelings for a fling.

But knowing better didn’t stop the thoughts from creeping in.

His ex was his senior, a fine arts major. Pretty. Smart. Talented. One of those girls who just had it. The kind people didn’t get over easily. You told yourself it didn’t matter. If he wanted her back, that was his problem, not yours. It wasn’t like you and Sunghoon were anything.

And so the days with him continued to be easy and light.

You spent more time together, and the more you did, the more you noticed his quirks—his own brand of annoying charm. Like how he always picked up your keys instead of his whenever he left your apartment, or how he liked to roll his sleeves and ruffle his hair absentmindedly.

One evening, lying side by side on your bed, you scrolled through your texts, absentmindedly opening your chat with him. A dozen images filled the screen, almost all of them mirror selfies. Some in elevators, some in his room, one even in a convenience store.

“You like yourself a little too much, don’t you?” you mused, tilting your phone so he could see.

Sunghoon barely glanced at it. “What?”

“These,” you said, scrolling through. “Almost every picture you send me is just you.”

He smirked, resting his head on his arm. “What, you don’t like them?”

You huffed. “You’re hot and you know it, is that it?”

He let out a breathy laugh, rolling onto his side to face you. The glint in his eyes was naughty and suggestive. His next words, even more so: “Would you rather I send you something else?”

He was looking at you like he knew exactly what he was doing, but you weren’t about to let him have the upper hand.

“Maybe,” you said, feigning deep thought. “Like a cat picture. Or, I don’t know, an interesting rock.”

Sunghoon snorted. “An interesting rock?”

“I like rocks.”

“You’re weird.”

“And you’re a narcissist.”

He only grinned, as if he didn’t mind the label. You shook your head, rolling onto your stomach, but your lips twitched when your phone vibrated a second later.

A picture. Of a rock.

You bit back a smile, and Sunghoon, watching you, caught it anyway.

“What?” he asked, amused.

“Nothing,” you said, tossing your phone aside.

You had never once felt insecure about what you had with Sunghoon, but after what you heard from your friends, you started to notice the little things. It almost seemed like outside the four walls of your apartments, you were nothing to each other.

You used to think he was just a lazy texter. His replies were always short, sometimes delayed, sometimes just emojis. But knowing what you knew now, you wondered if he just wasn’t interested enough.

The thought crept under your skin, making you overthink the things you once brushed off.

Before, when you texted him to come over and he said he couldn’t, you didn’t think much of it. But now? Now, you wondered if he was with her when he wasn’t with you. If he looked at his phone, saw your message, and made a choice.

Yet, you kept crawling back for more.

You were an intelligent woman. You knew this was foolish. You knew how it made you look. But it was fine, because no one else knew how you felt—not your friends, not even Sunghoon himself. It was fine because you were foolish only in your own eyes. There was no need for anyone else to know.

Despite the foolishness of it all, you were happy. You were content enough to be able to spend time with him, to be touched and worshipped by him, to know you had the power to tease out a part of him that not everyone had the privilege to see.

“Sunghoon,” you sighed, fingers pressed against your temple as you looked out of the car window. “We’ve been circling this block for ten minutes.”

You had tagged along with Sunghoon on a quick trip to pick up some pieces for his department’s upcoming art exhibit. It was unplanned. You were outside the campus after class when he spotted you and asked if you wanted to join him. Since you didn’t have anything planned for the day (and because you could never say no to a chance to hang out with him), you got into his car and let him drive without even asking where you were going.

But Sunghoon, as it turned out, had a terrible sense of direction.

“I swear it was supposed to be around here,” he muttered, one hand on the wheel, the other tapping aimlessly at his phone.

“You said that twenty minutes ago.”

He shot you a glance, sheepish. “Well, I meant it twenty minutes ago.”

You rolled your eyes and leaned back in your seat, stretching your legs. The map app on his dashboard kept recalculating, rerouting him to roads that either didn’t exist or led straight to nowhere. And when he finally admitted defeat, pulling over to rethink his next move, you both stepped out and realized something.

The ocean was right there.

Waves lapped lazily at the shore, the sky was clear, and the sun was warm but not overbearing—the kind of day that practically begged to be wasted at the beach.

“…Screw the errand?” you offered.

Sunghoon stared at the water for a moment before shrugging. “Screw the errand.”

And just like that, the detour became the destination.

The day unfolded spontaneously. You bought overpriced street food from a vendor by the shore, eating as you walked, laughing when Sunghoon scrunched his nose at the spicy kick of the sauce. He had an annoyingly specific taste in food and the smell, but he still let you shove a piece of yours into his mouth.

You found a little souvenir stand and tried on ridiculous sunglasses, taking pictures of each other in frames shaped like hearts and palm trees. Sunghoon snapped candid shots of you when you weren’t looking, and though you pretended to be annoyed, you never asked him to stop.

At some point, the tide crept in, and you played a round of rock, paper, scissors and dared the loser to get into the water. You weren’t even surprised when you lost. You sucked at this game.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” you grumbled, kicking your sandals off. “By myself, no less.”

“Hey, it’s a game. We both agreed to this,” he retorted, stepping back. “And I can’t go in there. I’m wearing jeans.”

“And I’m wearing a skirt,” you countered, already wading in, your hem darkening as the waves reached you.

Sunghoon exhaled through his nose, probably wondering if you were actually sulking over a punishment you’d happily agreed to before you lost the game. Of course, you weren’t, but it was fun to tease him and see what he’d do.

“You’re unbelievable,” he said after the scowl never left your face. In a moment of impulsive surrender, he walked straight in after you, the water soaking up his pants. You’re actually unbelievable,” he added, shaking his head as the chill hit him.

You grinned triumphantly, making him brush his hair back in playful exasperation. Then, shaking his head in defeat, he said, “I knew it. It was a farce. You knew I was gonna give in!”

“You fell for it,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes playfully. “Don’t blame me,” you added, flicking water at him.

Sunghoon blinked at you, unimpressed, before flicking some back with just the tips of his fingers.

“Oh, come on,” you taunted. “Is that the best you can do?”

His eyes narrowed slightly—just enough of a warning before he sent a full splash your way, drenching your arms. You gasped, stumbling back with a laugh.

“Oh? So that’s how it’s gonna be?” you shot back, scooping up water with both hands and throwing it right at his chest.

He retaliated, sending another wave toward you, and suddenly it was war. One splash turned into another, then another, until you were both breathless, clothes sticking to your skin, hair a mess.

Sunghoon pushed his dripping bangs back with a huff. “This is your fault,” he said, smiling his usual warm and blinding smile—the smile that made his eyes crinkle, the smile that revealed dimples carving deep into his cheeks, the smile that could make anyone think Sunghoon had never forced a grin in his life.

He was beautiful, and you could feel yourself falling deeper and deeper, with no way out. You were falling so deep that it made your heart ache a little—the way you liked him, the way you wanted him to be yours, the way you wished today could last forever.

As the sky started to turn amber, you collapsed onto the sand, watching the sun lower itself into the horizon.

The waves rolled in, steady and endless, curling at the shore. The air smelled of salt, and the golden glow of the sunset painted the world majestically. You sat side by side, talking and laughing about random things, content to share the warmth of a single jacket.

Then, somewhere between the soothing sound of the waves and the silly jokes, the conversation drifted deeper.

You talked about things you never had before—about college, about dreams and ambitions, about the way people always say you’ll just know when something is right.

“How do you know for sure that that’s what you wanted to pursue?” he asked while you were tracing idle patterns in the sand. “What if you think you know, but when you get to the end of it, you realize it was the wrong choice?”

You looked out into the ocean, tilting your head slightly, considering. “I didn’t really know it was the right choice. I don’t think anyone ever really knows,” you admitted. “Not in the moment, at least. Maybe you just choose something, and later, that choice becomes the right one.”

You turned to look at him only to find out he already had his eyes on you. The admiration in his gaze was subtle, but it was there. Seeing that made your heart trip over itself, it made you forget, for just a second, that this wasn’t real.

And when he leaned in, when his eyes flickered to your lips and your breath caught, you stopped thinking. You knew what was coming. You knew he was about to kiss you, but somehow, for some reason, this time felt different. Like this kiss was gonna determine a major point in your relationship.

But before anything could happen, Sunghoon’s phone rang, jolting you both out of the trance. You both looked away in embarrassment, clearing your throat like you’d caught yourself doing something you shouldn’t. Which was ridiculous because you’d done nothing but kiss him in the past few months.

Sunghoon cleared his throat as he picked up his phone on the sand then answered the call with a quiet, “Yeah?”

It was the committee for the exhibit and you watched him talk on the phone for the next few minutes, explaining what had happened and why he couldn’t finish the errand. By the time he hung up, the sky had darkened completely, and the air had turned crisp.

“It’s late,” he said, brushing sand off his hands. “You okay with crashing at my place?”

You blinked. “Your place?”

“Our old family house. It’s not far from here.”

You hesitated for a moment, but then shrugged. “Sure.”

The car ride was quiet, thick with the tension that had been ignited by the near-kiss at the beach. Neither of you spoke, but your gazes met every now and then—quick glances, fleeting and heated, before darting away like you hadn’t been caught.

Sunghoon was the first to break. His hand drifted from the wheel, finding your thigh in the dim glow of the dashboard, fingers pressing just enough to make your breath hitch. He squeezed, testing, and when you didn’t stop him, he grew bolder, pushing the hem of your dress up just enough to feel the warmth of your skin. His fingers traced your skin with slow, deliberate strokes, inching higher into your inner thighs and lightly brushing your sex.

The heat of his touch burned through you. While you sat there feeling hotter as your heartbeat hammered wildly in your chest, he remained composed and quiet, his face unreadable save for the occasional twitch of his jaw. He kept his eyes on the road, but the way the car gradually picked up speed as he stepped harder on the gas told you everything you needed to know.

The tension coiled tighter and tighter until the car rolled to a stop in their driveway. He exhaled sharply, as if regaining control of himself before stepping out and opening the door for you like nothing was out of the ordinary. 

The lock to their house’s main entrance clicked, the door creaked open, and the second you stepped inside, all restraints snapped.

You barely had a moment to take in the house before his hands were on you, pulling you in, mouths crashing in a kiss that was desperate, needy, and greedy. He backed you into the foyer, hands mapping the curve of your waist, and the shape of your hips.

Your fingers tangled in his shirt, pulling, tugging, holding on for dear life as the heat of his touch woke something primal in you. He barely broke the kiss as he guided you further inside, not caring where you ended up as long as you got there together. You went past the foyer and the living room, but all you felt was the press of his body, the way he kissed you with the kind of hunger that made your head spin.

He pushed a door open, urging you inside but you hesitated, pulse hammering.

“Sunghoon,” you breathed between kisses, fingers clutching at his shoulders. “Your parents—”

“They’re not home.” His voice was low, steady, but his eyes burned through yours.

You barely had a second to process before he kissed you again, silencing every last doubt as he pushed you inside the door he had just opened. When he clicked the lights on, the glow of a bathroom light flickered on, reflecting off the tiles and the mirror above the sink.

“Figured you’d hate the taste of the sea on my skin,” he murmured, grinning as his fingers grazed your hip. You were suddenly reminded of the saltwater clinging to your skin, and the sand on your legs, remnants of the day you’d spent together.

You swallowed, nodding. But the moment he lifted the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head in one swift motion, you knew washing up wasn’t gonna be the only thing happening in here. 

You shamelessly ogled him—his bare skin, damp from sweat and seawater, and his lean build with well-defined muscles that you’d seen several times before but still found alluring. He caught you staring and smirked, stepping closer, close enough that his fingers found the buttons of your top.

“Did you know I’m good with buttons?” he asked softly, making you giggle.

“Yeah. I’ve seen your skills,” you said, watching him.

His fingers were deft, undoing your buttons slowly, teasingly. When he was done, he gently tugged it off, letting it fall on the floor. His hands didn’t leave you, though. They skimmed down your arms, and your waist, examining every curve like he had it memorized and wanted to see if anything was different.

The next thing you knew, warm water was cascading over your bodies, steam enveloping you in the small space. The spray soaked your hair, trailing down your spine, but you barely noticed because Sunghoon was there—his hands smoothing over your skin, his lips brushing against your shoulder, your jaw, his canines grazing your skin ever so slightly.

“We’re supposed to be washing up,” you teased, though your voice was breathless.

“We are,” he murmured, his fingers sliding down your stomach, inching lower. “Just making sure we’re doing it thoroughly.”

You let out a quiet laugh, but it faded into a sigh when he pressed you back against the cool tiles, his mouth finding yours again. He didn’t stay for long, lips trailing down your jaw to your neck, all the way to your chest where his kisses turned a little more intense. He sucked and squeezed, sending a pleasant ripple through your body that made you arch forward for more. The water drowned out the sound of your quiet moans, the warmth of his mouth making every touch feel more heady, more intoxicating.

When did he take off his pants? You didn’t even notice until he pressed his body against yours and you felt his manhood pulsating against your torso, hot and raging. He kissed your lips again, shoving his tongue inside as his breathing turned rougher.

“Turn around,” he rasped in your ear, and you obliged, finding yourself face-to-face with your own reflection.

You pressed your hands against the glass, your entire body tingling with anticipation as he positioned himself behind you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder, kissing the side of your neck as you felt his tip prodding your pussy.

“Look at you,” he whispered, biting your ear. “Do you have any idea how you drive me crazy all the damn time?”

You were about to respond when he pushed himself inside you, making you let out a throaty gasp instead. Sunghoon stayed still, shushing you gently and kissing your shoulder.

“It’s alright. We’ve done this before,” he chimed and you could see him smirking in your reflection. 

“You’re used to this, right?” he asked, moving delicately so you could properly adjust to his length and girth. “Right, baby?” he asked again, and the lilt in his voice made you close your eyes and nod.

“That’s right. You said you love it, didn’t you?” 

You could only let out a deep sigh, tilting your head back. “Yes, Hoon. I love it,” you whispered back.

“Good. I know you do,” he chimed, gently bending you forward. “I know you’ll love this too,” he added before his hands settled on your waist and he started thrusting into you.

His pace was urgent, with enough force to make your knees weak each time he slammed into you. You didn’t even bother to stifle your moans anymore, letting them out completely, not caring if there were neighbors nearby who might hear you. You were lightheaded with lust, spiraling into the titillating euphoria that Sunghoon never once failed to deliver. Your entire being came alive and you were so caught up in it that you didn’t even notice your knees buckling underneath your weight.

Sunghoon’s grip tightened as he helped keep you up, pulling out to give you a quick break and to turn you face-to-face with him again. His grin was unmistakable, pleased to see your fucked-out expression. “So so beautiful,” he said, sweeping your hair out of your face.

He pressed you against the cool tiles, his lips crashing onto yours, urgency overtaking everything else. You gasped when his hands gripped your thighs, lifting you against him. The water poured over his shoulders, down your back, as he moved with reckless need, his breath ragged against your ear. 

“More, Hoon. Please, more,” you pleaded, as if he wasn’t already ramming mercilessly into you making every nerve in your body dance in pleasure.

“You’re so horny for me,” he murmured against your lips, his fingers gripping your thighs as he lifted you against him. “Can’t even wait till we got to the bed, huh?”

Your breath hitched as he pressed into you, the heat of the shower only amplifying the sensation. “This was your idea,” you whispered, but it came out shaky, wrecked.

He chuckled, low and deep. “I know. But you want this too, don’t you?” he said, voice smooth as his lips traced down your throat. “You want me so bad. You’re begging me for more, isn’t that right?”

You didn’t answer—not in words, at least. But when you tightened your grip around his shoulders, nails pressing into his skin, he took it as confirmation.

“That’s it,” he groaned, rolling his hips into yours. “Come on, baby. Let me hear you.”

You whimpered when he hit a delicious spot, holding onto him tighter. “Hoon, you fuck so good.”

He grunted, spurred on by your admission. He was fast, desperate—like he couldn’t get enough, like he had to claim every inch of you right then and there. When he finally tipped over the edge, dragging you down with him, he held you through it, his lips pressing on your temple as your body trembled in his arms.

The moment was fleeting, but the desire didn’t leave just yet. You could still feel it in his touch even as he set you back on your feet. The moment you stepped out of the shower, Sunghoon grabbed a towel, barely bothering to dry you properly before he lifted you off your feet, carrying you out of the bathroom, down the hallway, and into what you only assumed was his bedroom.

This time, there was no rush.

He laid you down, his hands smoothing over your skin, his touch softer now, more reverent. “Look at you,” he murmured, eyes tracing over every inch of you, dark with something more than just lust. “So pretty. So perfect for me.”

Your breath came uneven as he leaned down, pressing slow, lingering kisses along your collarbone, down your chest, lower—each one dragging a gasp from your lips.

“Tell me what you need,” he whispered against your skin.

“You,” you admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

A knowing smile tugged at his lips. “Yeah?” He kissed the corner of your mouth, teasing. “Then take me,” he added, just before he filled you up again.

It wasn’t rushed, wasn’t urgent, or desperate. It was slow, deep, and overwhelming in the most delightful way. He kept his forehead pressed to yours, breath warm against your face, whispering in between kisses.

“That’s it… just like that, baby,” he murmured, moving languidly. “You feel so good. You’re taking me so well.”

Every whispered praise sent shivers down your spine, made you cling to him even tighter, and made the pleasure build until it was unbearable.

The night was young and it was not gonna end just yet. And so the hours blurred into moments of euphoric highs, fleeting clarity, and intense need to ravage and be ravaged. His name was the only thing you could say—over and over—until you were both left breathless, tangled together in the sheets, completely undone.

In the morning, you probably wouldn’t remember every detail of tonight, but you’d remember this—remember the way his hands felt on your skin, the way he whispered your name like a prayer. In the dim glow of Sunghoon’s bedroom, your fingers tangled in his damp hair, lips swollen from too many kisses, you let yourself forget. Forget the rules. Forget that this was never supposed to feel like more. Just for tonight, he was yours, and you were his.

The morning light streamed in through the sheer curtains, hurting your eyes a little. You blinked awake, momentarily disoriented, until the scent of Sunghoon’s shampoo on your skin and the warmth of the bed beneath you reminded you where you were.

You turned over to find him already awake, his arm tucked behind his head as he looked at you with a lazy smile. “Morning,” he murmured.

“Morning,” you murmured, voice thick with sleep.

His fingers skimmed down your arm. “You’re cute when you sleep.”

A slow blink. Then, a scoff. “Liar.”

“It’s true.” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering as his gaze flickered down to your lips. “You drool a little, though.”

You smacked his arm. “I do not.”

His laughter was low and teasing, as he caught your wrist then tugged you closer. His body was warm against yours, and his breath was even warmer as he kissed the curve of your neck.

“We should get up,” you said, but neither of you moved.

“Yeah,” he murmured, his soft kisses trailing down to your shoulder. “In a bit,” he added before reaching to cup your cheek and kiss your lips.

One thing led to another and suddenly, you were underneath him again, his body pressing into yours like he couldn’t bear to be apart.

The morning air was cool, but his hands were warm as they skimmed down your waist, his touch slow, and smooth. 

“You’re insatiable,” he murmured against your lips, smiling when you shivered under him.

“So are you,” you whispered back, running your fingers through his hair.

He hummed, nipping at your bottom lip before soothing it with his tongue. “Guess we’re even, then.”

His hands slid over your bare skin, his touch reverent. He kissed you deeply, guiding you through the lazy tangle of limbs and soft gasps, dragging it out like he had all the time in the world.

By the time you finally got out of bed, Sunghoon had already dug through his closet, tossing you an old hoodie and some sweatpants. You pulled them on and followed him down the quiet hallway.

The house felt still—too still. Only then did you notice the dust gathering on the bookshelves, the faint scent of time in the air.

“This place has been empty for a while now,” Sunghoon said casually from behind you when he noticed you looking around. “My family moved a few months ago to take care of my grandparents.”

Your brows lifted. “So no one lives here?”

He shook his head. “Not really. I come by sometimes. I technically still live here, I'm just not here often.”

That made sense. There was something about the house—it felt untouched, frozen in time, like stepping into a memory. You walked further into the hall, your fingers grazing along the walls and stopping at the framed photographs hanging there.

You studied them, tilting your head. Sunghoon as a kid, bright-eyed and grinning, a missing tooth on full display. A younger version of him on a skating rink, mid-game, frozen in motion. Another picture—him and his family, arms slung over each other’s shoulders, and several of him in a skating rink, different poses, taken in the middle of a routine.

“You skate?”

Sunghoon smiled, standing beside you and looking up at the photos. “Used to. I was in the national team for a while.”

“Why did you stop?” you asked glancing up at him and seeing the reminiscent look on his face.

He simply shrugged. “I had to be realistic. I enjoyed the sport but I couldn’t see myself doing it for a long time.”

You bit back a smile. “You were kind of adorable.”

Sunghoon scoffed, stepping up behind you. “I still am.”

“Debatable.”

He tugged at your hoodie—his hoodie—pulling the hood over your head before nodding toward the door. “Come on. Let’s go get something to eat.”

The drive back to the city was uneventful, the radio playing softly in the background. Sunghoon’s hand rested on the wheel, his other lazily draped over your thigh, tracing absentminded patterns through the fabric of his sweatpants that you were still wearing. You were talking, laughing, stealing quick glances at him between songs on the stereo.

At some point, he cleared his throat. “So… what are you doing later?”

“I have a group project.” You groaned, leaning back against the seat. “I’m meeting up with my classmates later.”

“Right. Group project.” He nodded slowly, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. “Sounds boring.”

“It is,” you huffed. “Why’d you ask?”

“No reason.” His eyes stayed fixed on the road, but you caught the way his grip on the wheel tightened just slightly. A second passed before he spoke again, this time even more nonchalant. “What about tomorrow?”

You tilted your head. “Tomorrow? I’m not sure. Just classes, I think.” You turned to him, raising a brow. “Why?”

“Do you wanna grab lunch with me tomorrow?”

You stared at him for a moment, then grinned teasingly. “Are you asking me out on a date, Park Sunghoon?”

His ears turned the faintest shade of pink, but he scoffed like the idea was ridiculous. “I’m just saying we should get lunch.”

“Mmm.” You pretended to think. “Sounds like a date to me.”

“It’s not a date.”

You scoffed in playful exasperation. “Dude, I was naked on top of you last night and a couple of other nights before. Surely we’re way past shy invitations for lunch dates?”

“I’m asking you to eat.” He paused, then added with a tilt of his head, “But if you wanna call it a date, that’s fine too. Labels are overrated.”

You hummed, pretending to think about it. “Hm. I guess I’ll allow it.”

Sunghoon chuckled, shaking his head. “Good. It’s settled then,” he said, stopping at a red light.

He leaned over to kiss you, catching you off guard but only for a moment. You kissed him back, albeit a little confused. When he pulled away, he was wearing a proud smirk on his face and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” he asked, shifting the gear as the light turned green again. He reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers and bringing it to his lips.

One hour later, you reached your apartment complex, but had to you stay a few more minutes in his car because he couldn’t seem to get enough of you, kissing and touching right there in the parking lot. You had to forcefully push him away and remind him that you had classes and important stuff to attend to. Even then, he was reluctant to let you go.

After a dramatic goodbye that had him pouting as he drove away, you climbed up the building with a sickening grin on your face. You unlocked your door, stepping inside with a lightness in your chest, breathing in the familiar smell of your home. 

The past few days had been a rollercoaster for you, with all the guessing and expectations and disappointments. But now, you were feeling much lighter, much happier. The good days with Sunghoon were all you could think of, playing back in flashes—the sound of his laugh in your space, the weight of his arm over your waist in the morning, the smell of his skin at night, the way he always left the bathroom mirror fogged up because he took ridiculously hot showers.

Tossing your bag onto the couch, you leaned against the door for a moment, smiling to yourself. Sunghoon was nice, but he always drew an invisible line. Not this time. You could tell by the way he held you this morning, the way he was reluctant to part from you, and how he’d asked to hang out with you for lunch—outside, in public. It felt like, for once, you both wanted the same thing. No second-guessing, no mixed signals—you were finally moving the same direction.

Your gaze drifted to the hoodie he’d left draped over the chair, his specs on your nightstand, and the half-empty tumbler beside it—subtle proofs that he’d started leaving pieces of himself behind. You wondered if he even realized it.

And more than that, you wondered where this would go next.

The next morning, you woke up too early. Way too early.

You groaned into your pillow, rolling onto your back as you stared at the ceiling. It was ridiculous. You’d seen Sunghoon plenty of times before—hung out, spent nights together, and shared more than just passing glances. But the idea of today, of a proper lunch date, had you wide awake before the sun was even fully up. Maybe it was because, for once, you weren’t just meeting up in the comfort of your apartment or his. It would be something different. Something real.

You giggled at the thought, covering your face with your blanket and then flailing your arms and legs. 

Admitting that to yourself felt embarrassing, so you dragged yourself out of bed and decided to be productive. If you were going to be up this early, you might as well make the most of it.

A jog around the neighborhood. A quick stop at the store. And before you knew it, you were back in your apartment, unpacking groceries and deciding, on a whim, to actually cook breakfast. When was the last time you did that? You couldn’t even remember.

By the time you arrived on campus, you were still riding the high of a morning well-spent. Your good mood didn’t go unnoticed—your friends picked up on it immediately, teasing you about the extra bounce in your step. You brushed them off with the excuse of getting enough sleep, but they weren’t wrong. Everything just felt lighter today.

Even classes didn’t seem so unbearable. You participated. You took notes. You weren’t counting down the minutes to leave—well, not exactly. But the closer lunchtime got, the more restless you became, checking your phone every so often even though you knew you were the only one keeping track of time this obsessively.

Then, just as you were leaving your last morning class, your phone buzzed.

Sunghoon: Hey pretty. Something came up. I can’t do lunch today. I’m sorry. Sunghoon: I’ll make it up to you later tonight, okay?

Your steps slowed, but you kept moving, staring at the text longer than necessary.

Bummed. That was the best way to describe it. You weren’t mad—plans get canceled all the time, and at least he let you know ahead of time—but disappointment still settled in the pit of your stomach. You took a breath, shook it off, and responded with a simple, It’s fine. See you later.

Lunch with your friends helped a little. You laughed, caught up on random gossip, and even let them drag you to a café afterward. You weren’t dwelling on it. Really, you weren’t.

Until you stepped out of the café and saw him. Sunghoon, standing outside the campus gates. And he wasn’t alone. 

Jenna was with him.

You stopped in your tracks, heart lurching in a way you hadn’t felt before. It wasn’t just that he was there, but the way he was standing close to her, the way she was talking, nudging his arm like she had every right to be in his space.

Sunghoon must have felt someone staring at him because he glanced your way and saw you. His eyes brightened in recognition, and he greeted you casually, like nothing was out of the ordinary. But you didn’t even know how to react. Your body moved before your brain could catch up. You walked past him, barely sparing a glance, pretending as if you weren’t close. As if he was just someone you barely knew.

Your friends who saw that were confused, following behind you after quick greetings to both Sunghoon and Jenna. 

Tammy caught up to you, nudged your arm, and asked, “Where are you running off to after ignoring Sunghoon like that?”

“I wasn’t ignoring anyone,” you muttered.

“You totally were,” Lily chimed in, linking arms with you as she leaned to speak in a quieter voice. “That’s so fishy. What’s going on?”

You didn’t respond, your mind too muddled to even try and come up with a good answer. As you rounded the corner, your phone buzzed a second later.

Sunghoon: Hey. What was that?

You ignored it, as well as the other messages that followed. 

The rest of the afternoon slipped through your fingers in a haze of self-pity. You curled up on the couch, aimlessly flipping through movies, but nothing got your attention. The voices blurred together, scenes passed without meaning. You weren’t devastated. You weren’t heartbroken. You were just... mad. Annoyed that after everything, after how good things had been, this was what it came down to. But getting worked up wouldn’t do anything. So, you forced yourself to let it go. 

Or at least, you tried. It was impossible when he kept creeping into your thoughts—his voice, his touch, the way he looked at you just yesterday—like he wanted this as much as you did.

You didn’t even realize you had dozed off until the sound of your phone ringing jolted you awake.

You blinked against the glow of the screen. Sunghoon.

For a moment, you stared at his name, your heartbeat loud in the quiet of your apartment. You could ignore it. You could let it ring out and pretend you were still asleep. You could put an end to this charade, to tell him you were done and sick of it. But you didn’t.

You answered. His voice was gentle, cautious. “Can I come over?”

You should say no. You should end this here and now. Enough is enough. But… “Yeah. Of course,” you said, trying your best to sound normal.

Half an hour later, he was in your apartment, hands on you, lips on yours, familiar and desperate. And, as always, you let him in—physically, emotionally, despite knowing better. You let yourself believe that maybe, for just a little longer, this could be enough.

Afterward, you slipped out of bed, padding into the bathroom to wash up. By the time you returned, the room was dark, the only source of light was coming from Sunghoon’s phone on the nightstand. He was already asleep, his breathing even, his body sprawled across your sheets like he belonged there.

You reached for the blanket to pull it over him when his phone buzzed, the screen glowing against the dim light. Your gaze flickered to it, drawn by instinct.

Jenna calling...

Your chest tightened at the name. For a moment, you just stood there, watching the name flash across the screen before it faded into darkness. You could answer it. You could see what she wanted, hear her voice, and confirm everything you had been trying so hard to ignore.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you climbed into bed, curling up beside Sunghoon, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. You knew what you had to do. Knew that when he woke up, this had to end for good.

But not yet.

For now, while he was still yours—warm, close, familiar—you let yourself have this one last moment. You closed your eyes and pretended everything was okay, even though you knew exactly what tomorrow would bring.

The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. The space beside you was cold. 

It was over.

The realization hit you like a punch to the gut. You had spent the night convincing yourself that you were ready for this, ready to end things, but the second you woke up to find him gone, the ache in your chest became unbearable.

Tears welled up before you could stop them. You curled into yourself, pressing your face against the pillow, sobbing into the fabric as if that could somehow muffle the sound. This wasn’t supposed to hurt. You weren’t supposed to grieve something that was never really yours. But you did.

You let yourself fall apart, mourning what could have been, whispering prayers into the silence that it didn’t have to end this way.

And then the door creaked open. You gasped, jolting up, eyes red and blurry as Sunghoon stepped into the room, holding your tumbler in his hand. 

His brows furrowed at the sight of you, eyes widening in alarm. “What’s wrong?” he asked, rushing to your side, setting the tumbler down before cupping your face and wiping the tears off your cheeks. “Hey—why are you crying?”

You shook your head, unable to form words. He pulled you into his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around you as you sobbed against him. He didn’t ask any more questions. He just held you, rubbing your back, shushing you gently even though he didn’t understand what had you so upset.

After a long moment, you finally managed to choke out, “I thought you were gone.”

Sunghoon pulled back slightly, blinking at you in confusion. Then, to your utter annoyance, he started laughing.

“What do you mean, gone?” he chuckled, shaking his head. “I literally just went to shower and get you some water.”

You smacked his arm, your face burning. “Don’t laugh at me, you jerk!”

“I’m not laughing at you,” he said, though he was definitely still laughing.

Something about his amusement made you snap. Maybe it was the pent-up emotions, or maybe it was the fact that you had nothing left to lose—but suddenly, everything came spilling out.

You confessed it all.

How you weren’t supposed to catch feelings, but you did. How you tried to push them down, to ignore them, but they never really went away. How you had spent so long pretending to be fine with this casual arrangement, knowing deep down that you weren’t. How much it crushed you to think that he was trying to win Jenna back, how much it hurt when he canceled on you, and how stupid you felt for letting yourself get so attached.

Sunghoon stared at you, utterly dumbfounded.

You sniffled, swallowing back the last of your tears. “Well? Say something.”

And then, to your horror, he started laughing again.

Your stomach twisted. “Are you kidding me right now?”

But before you could shove him away, he grabbed your face and kissed you. Hard.

Your breath hitched, but you melted into it, gripping his shirt as he kissed you like he had been waiting for this moment all along. When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his voice quieter now. “I like you,” he admitted. “A lot.”

You opened your mouth, but he kept going. “You’re fun, you don’t take my shit, and you get me in a way that most people don’t. I’m always looking forward to seeing you. To hearing whatever sarcastic thing you were gonna say next. To just… being with you.”

“Then why—”

“I wasn’t with Jenna because of what you think.” His hands slid down to hold yours, his thumbs brushing over your knuckles. “There was an accident with the exhibit setup, and I had to be there. She just happened to walk out with me.”

Your eyes narrowed. “And the part where you’re trying to get back with her?”

Sunghoon made a face. “Where did you even hear that?”

You hesitated before mumbling, “A mutual friend.”

He huffed. “Why didn’t you just ask me?”

“I don’t know!” You did, but you weren’t about to admit that you didn’t want to seem like you were expecting too much from him—like you were demanding something that was never part of your deal.

Sunghoon sighed, squeezing your hands. “I don’t know where you got that idea, but I only have eyes for you.” His lips quirked. “Yeah, maybe I didn’t realize how much I liked you at first, but ever since we started this, I haven’t thought about anyone else.”

Your heart stuttered.

Then he smirked. “I thought we had an understanding. Did we really need a label for it?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Right. Labels are overrated.”

Sunghoon kissed you deeply, and this time, you returned it with the same amount of sweet abandon. Then he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your lips.

“I’m all yours, baby,” he murmured. “And right now, I’m wondering if you’d wanna be mine too.”

You let out a sharp breath, your chest tightening at his words. For a second, you just stared at him—his dark eyes searching yours, his expression completely open, completely vulnerable.

Then you scoffed, shaking your head with an exasperated laugh.

“For fuck's sake, Sunghoon.” You squeezed his hands, tugging him just a little closer. “I’m already yours.”

His lips crashed into yours before you could say anything else, stealing the last of your breath, and this time, you didn’t hold anything back.

[fin]

[baronessvonglitter]

Guessing Game

stepdad!Javier Pena x fem!Reader

Word count: 2.8K

Summary: Your stepfather is a DEA agent. When he finds drugs in your room you have to find a way to keep yourself out of trouble.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Explicit. Step-cest (if that's an ick for you please do not read - you are responsible for the content you consume 🖤). Age gap (reader is early twenties, Javi is mid-to-late forties). Reader wears makeup and a dress and has hair long enough to get in her face. Cocaine use. Sexual proposition/exploitation. Dub con. (Reader is high during the act.) Oral (m receiving). Drug use during oral. Come swallowing. Fingering. *Spanish terms at the bottom. If I've missed anything please lmk!

Author's note: Big thanks to those of you who asked about this when it was just a baby wip -- now it's fully grown and I so appreciate the support! 💜

JAVIER PENA MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

"Please tell me you're coming out tonight."

You pause a moment before answering your friend Gabi, switching your phone to your other ear as you check your reflection in the mirror. You apply dark burgundy lipstick to your bottom lip: Guessing Game by MAC, and top it with a swipe of clear gloss.

"I'll be there. You can bet your tits on that," you tell her with a smirk before you end the call.

Sure, you're technically still in trouble for staying out all night the past weekend. That's the thing that sucks about  commuting to college instead of moving out-- having to stay under your mom's roof and adhere to her rules.

Not just her rules, oh no. Your new stepfather is a hard-ass too, and a DEA agent on top of that. Javier Peña's over half your age and a stickler for rules. He's down your throat any chance he gets when you talk back to your mom or do anything that he finds disrespectful. 

It's stressful having to walk such a thin line. You deserve to go out tonight and show off the slinky, short black dress you're secretly borrowing from your mom's closet. It's not like she wears stuff like this anymore. She won't miss it for one night.

Almost ready to go, you do a last minute checklist. The only thing missing from your purse is your baggie. 

Shit! Where is it? You check your usual hiding place but find nothing. Your stomach swirls with unease.

"Looking for this?"

You turn to the sound of the deep voice coming from your doorway. There stands Javier, big bad DEA stepdad, holding your baggie of coke between thumb and forefinger.

"That's not mine," you automatically deny. 

"Bullshit," he mutters, stepping into the room. "I found it in here earlier. You want to tell me what you're doing with cocaine, chiquita?"

"Like I said, it's not mine," you insist. Deny, deny, deny. 

"How stupid do you think I am, huh? Just be damn glad I found it and not your mother. She'd kick your ass out on the streets for having this." The offending white powder in its baggie looks tiny in his large hand.

"Did I interrupt your big plans tonight?" he asks smoothly, shutting your bedroom door behind him. "Were you gonna go out and party, do a few lines, let some pendejo fuck you up the ass?"

"Javi!" You instinctively cover yourself as his eyes linger over your figure in that short, tight dress.

He comes around the bed, towering over you as you sit on the edge. Still in his suit and tie and his hair still in its neat, swept-to-the-side style, you imagine he must have just gotten off work. His dark eyes challenge you to do one more thing to piss him off. Despite the severe disdain you hold for one another, in the back of your mind you've always wanted to fuck him. Him being alone with you in your room, that dangerous, pissed-off look in his eyes only serves to make you wet. 

"You should know better," he says. "I can't have a fucking druggie for a stepdaughter."

"I'm sorry," you mumble. "But you shouldn't be going through my shit anyway."

"That's not a fucking apology, cariño," he gripes. "When you say 'sorry, but' that means you're not truly fucking sorry."

"You're giving me a fucking semantics lesson now?"

"Don't fucking talk back to me," he growls. "I'm not your mom, I'll beat your ass."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Keep it down, she's asleep in the next room."

It's late and by now your mom's taken her sleeping pill. You'd counted on her staying practically unconscious as you snuck out. Until Javi came along. You don't know what his plot is but the fact that he's here in your room with the door closed and it's half past midnight gives you a feeling that he wants something he shouldn't be asking for.

"Just.. give it back to me. I'll flush it, I promise."

A dark chuckle leaves his throat and sends a chill up your spine. He holds the baggie out and flicks it with his finger. "Who's your plug, baby? Give me that much. Possession with intent to distribute is a worse crime than just possession. You could get off with just a slap on the wrist if you just give me a name."

"I'm not telling you shit.."

"That stubborn, eh, princesita?" He smirks at even you have to admit he's a little handsome when he looks at you like that. But you still fucking hate him. You make a low sound in your throat, akin to a growl.

“You got something in your throat, chica?”

“No.. but I’d like to..”

His gaze darkens as he looks down at you, that barely-there dress leaving so little to the imagination. He recognizes it from his wife's closet, the very same dress she wore when they went on their first date. And now it fits you like a second skin. "Careful, chica. You might be an adult under the law, but you have no idea what the real fucking world is like."

"What are you gonna do, turn me in?" you challenge him.

"Maybe we can come to a compromise," he says, his gaze on your wet, glossy, darkened lips. "I'll keep quiet about the drugs if you do something for me."

"Like what?" You lean back on the bed, acting bored with the conversation though you're secretly glad he's about to let you off the hook.

"You're a smart girl. Use your imagination."

You separate your gaze from his, traveling down to the prominent bulge in his trousers.

"You're disgusting, you know that? Exploiting your own stepdaughter like that.."

He shrugs. "I have no problem bringing you in for this. It's a shame, though. You're a bright kid, you have your whole future ahead of you. You gonna let a little cocaina put an end to all that?"

"Fuck you," you mutter, sitting up. What does it matter anyway? It's just a dick. Not like you haven't sucked a few in your time. "Fine. I fucking blow you and you don't tell anyone about the coke, okay?"

A little smile curls his lips upward. "Deal, princesita."

He puts the baggie on the nightstand where you can't reach it and turns to you, hands on his hips. You realize he's waiting for you to start. 

Smart guy, having you make the first move so it's not on him later. "Nobody knows about this, either," you demand, your fingers hovering just over his belt buckle.

His breath hitches before answering, excitement hidden in his voice. "Just between us."

You feel your heartbeat in your throat as you undo his belt and pants, letting them fall to the floor. He's wearing white briefs, though you know him to typically go commando when he's not working.

"That's it, bebita linda," he coos as you free him from his underwear. His thick erection curves upward, slapping his belly as it swells and rises. Your mouth waters just feasting your eyes upon it.

"Ain't got all night," he grumbles.

"So fucking impatient," you grumble back, wrapping your hand around his hefty cock. It's bigger than any you've ever had, already weeping from the tip. Without hesitation you lick up the salty precum, delighting in the way his breath catches in his throat.

"It's not gonna suck itself," he grunts, putting his hand on the back of your head and pushing you towards him. "C'mon, baby, wanna see that pretty lipstick ruined and slopped all over my cock. The deal doesn't count if you're just gonna give it kitten licks."

Grabbing the base in one hand you slide the tip between your lips. Already it feels like too much, but you're not going to let him think he's got the best of you. 

"Open wide, baby, I know you can suck a cock better than that."

Forcing back an exasperated sigh you practically unhinge your jaw to get your whole mouth around him, his fat cockhead hitting the back of your throat, making you gag. Javi laughs as you pull away.

"You a fucking amateur, mia linda?" he chuckles. "Or am I just too big for that bratty mouth?"

"Fuck you."

He grabs you by the chin and forces you to look up at him. Your eyes are big, wide, a hint of fear there mixed with desire. "Be good for me. Or do you need something more to keep you sweet?"

He reaches for the baggie and scoops out a small amount, making a nice line on the top of his cock. 

"C'mon, do a line for me, sugar." He brings your head down and immediately you snort the white powder off his dick.

"There you go.. putting those vices to good use for once. Now maybe you'll suck my cock like the proper little slut you are."

You're still sniffling up the remnants of the coke when he shoves himself inside your mouth again, the bitter taste of the drug mixing with the salty taste of his flesh. 

"Relax your throat," he commands. "I can't believe I have to tell you how to suck a cock," he tsk-tsks.

Your eyes are brimming over with tears as you take him deep inside your throat. He stays there, guiding your movements with his hands on the back of your head. You start to breathe through your nose as your airway gets stuffed full of Javi's throbbing dick.

"Just look at that pretty mouth, pretty purple lips spread open wide around my cock," he whispers. "That's right, baby, get my cock all messy with your lipstick."

He lets you pull away from him to catch your breath before pushing back in, thrusting into your mouth. Whether you like it or not, saliva fills your mouth, making the slide in easier. If he knew your pussy was getting just as wet right now he'd take full advantage.

By now the coke is taking effect, making your heart flutter, and your pleasure receptors are buzzing off the charts. If you were only a reluctant participant before, you're voracious now. You put all your effort into blowing Javier, eager for his moans and sharp curses, even when he pulls out and taps your cheek with his dick you can't help but giggle, seeking him out with your tongue so you can drag it along his length.

Soon you're getting into a rhythm, following his lead as he thrusts into your mouth, pulling you away, only to push in again, stuffing you full and deep as he grabs your hair. Your mascara runs down your face, black streaks down your cheeks, lipstick smeared, Javi's dick now a strange purple.

He likes watching his whole member disappearing inside you, excited by the way you're learning to take him. He stops playing nice and stuffs himself down your throat, shoving himself deep and thrusting shallowly while your arms flail in a vain attempt to push away from him.

"Nuh-uh.. we agreed. I can just take you in right now, all wrecked and ruined. I can already see the mugshot. Bet your mama would be so proud," he says sarcastically.

"Fuck you," you manage to say, lips swollen, saliva running down your chin and neck.

"Hey, that's not very ladylike. Then again, you're not much of a lady, are you? Now suck."

He thrusts inside you again, even though you gag on him, tasting the bitterness of your own bile creeping up your gullet.

"If you puke on me I'll just keep going. You think I'm worried about a little vomit?"

You force down the remnants of your dinner from earlier, simultaneously bringing him deeper into your mouth.

"Lift up that dress for me, want you to play with your pussy while you're sucking me off," he says, stuffing your mouth full with more of him.

You do as he says, picking up the hem of the dress over your hips and sticking your hand under your black lace thong. You're drenched and Javier can see it, smell your arousal as it fragrances the air between you. He's never smelled a sweeter pussy. 

"That's right, circle that pretty little clit for me, mamacita," he grunts, exiting your mouth to pull back and watch you for a little, a long thick string of saliva connecting between your lips and his dick. You look totally wrecked and he's not even done yet.

You work on yourself, pressing your clit, your little gasps fueling Javier's need. "There you go, drive yourself crazy for me," he says.

You dip your fingers inside your warm cunt, closing your eyes as you seek out the relief from the heat building between your thighs. "Nu-uh, baby, eyes on me," he purrs slipping back in, thrusting deep and slow, watching you, feeling how good it is when you moan around his dick.

"Perfect, fucking perfect," he moans when you deep throat him again, your tongue peeking out to lick his balls. "Fuck," he says, tightening the grip he has on your hair. "Freaky mamacita, aren't you? Done this before, haven't you? To a lot of guys, I bet."

You whimper around his dick, pulling away to get some air. You finger yourself into a frenzy and start to come. "Not yet," Javier growls, pulling you back onto his slobber-coated cock. "You gotta earn it if you wanna come," he tells you.

You whine about it but the energetic buzz the coke has given you is still at work, putting extra effort into sucking off your stepdad, a renewed energy and vigor to your mouth sucking his cock. 

"Damn, cariño.. you really want your bad little habit kept secret, huh?" Javier pants, head thrown back as you sloppily suck him off. "Fuck, fuck, I'm gonna come.. gonna spray that sarcastic little bitchy mouth with my cum.. you ready?"

He doesn't wait for an answer, slamming into your mouth with urgency, not a care for your comfort until he bursts in your mouth and you have no choice but to taste the hot saltiness of his release.

He pulls out slowly, and when you try to spit out his release he shoves it back in with his fingers, effectively gagging you in the process. "Swallow," he commands, and you do so obediently just as his other hand finds its way to your core. 

He curls his fingers into the waistband, pulling the thong up, rubbing the material against your wanting and willing core, rubbing hard against your clit. It's pleasure bordering on pain.

"Fucking hell, look how soaked you are," he coos. He watches the way your stringy slick clings to the lace of your thong. "You got all wet sucking me off, didn't you? Dirty girl. Muy sucia." He rubs the pad of his thumb over your exposed clit and smirks when you start panting like a dog in heat, thighs open to him, head thrown back, your hair sticking to the mess of saliva and lip gloss on your mouth and chin.

"There it is.. just what you wanted, huh? What you think about every time you look at me. You dream about my cock in your mouth and my fingers in your cunt, just like this.." He delves two thick digits into your wetness while stroking your clit and it's embarrassing how quickly you come on his fingers, your core quivering around him, expelling more fluid, coating his hand.

"That's it," he says gently, staying inside you until the little aftershocks are complete and your body is utterly spent. Your mouth tastes like his cum and the lingering bitterness of the cocaine is at the back of your throat. Despite your orgasm being over your heart is still jackhammering away. The high of both the drug and the orgasm combine to leave you teetering on the edge of sanity.

"Drugged out and fucked out," Javier mutters, watching you as he removes his fingers. He lets out a small noise of approval, his thumb gently tracing along your lip and the edge of your tongue for a moment before slowly sliding it inside your mouth. “Taste yourself, princesa.”

You make a little sound of pleasure, swirling your tongue along his thumb, your gaze on him.

His free hand moves to tangle in your hair to keep your head still as he slowly pulls his thumb out of your mouth, a thin string of saliva connecting his finger to your tongue as he looks down at you with half lidded eyes. "God, you look so good down there, cariño." 

Then he pushes you back on the bed. "Such a fucking mess," he mutters, tucking his cock back in his briefs and doing up his pants again. "Go clean yourself up. And no more fucking coke, got it?" he growls as he leaves, taking the baggie with him.

"We're square now, bebita," he says, giving one last look to your prone form, your skin flushed and sweaty, legs splayed out like a true coke whore. "But if I ever catch you doing something like this again, I'll do more than fuck that sweet little mouth of yours."

*chiquita ~ little girl | pendejo ~ idiot | carino ~ dear | princesita ~ little princess | chica ~ girl | cocaina ~ cocaine | bebita linda ~ pretty baby | mamacita ~ gorgeous/hottie | muy sucia ~ very dirty

dividers by @sweetmelodygraphics 👑

taglist: @myownwholewildworld @milla-frenchy @604to647

@vichons @itwasntimethatdidit40 @probablyreadinsmut

@drewharrisonwriter @joelmillerisapunk @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

@everybodylovedcontractors @almostfoxglove @cxrsed-angel

@ohlookitspaperpixel @victorian-cherub @sawymredfox

@friendly-neighborhood-boricua @notgoingtomalta @darling-stevie

@letsgobarbs @devineconjuring

[frostbitebakery]

Last Line Challenge

I got tagged by @meebles 💜 I’m sorry for posting and replying so irregularly, adulthood really isn’t good for my time management.

Anyway! How about some

LOUD.

“Next stop: Cam Mer Plaza.”

Obi-Wan grunts in protest when Depa accidentally jostles him. Needs must in some cases, and in this case the message she’s sending to Grey warrants the slight disturbance in her opinion. “I am proud of you and your ability to be not as… troublesome as some of your siblings.”

Gentle hands, black bloody gloves hidden away behind a chest plate, adjust Obi-Wan’s body against her side until his hair tickles her cheek and he’s safely tucked in once more. Depa stops counting the times Obi-Wan’s breathing is checked and looks at Commander Cody not meeting her eyes while he consciously stops his fussing.

Grey’s name pops up on her comm a second later.

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me and I now have it on record,” he says, dry as a desert planet, as soon as she accepts the call.

“Hello, Grey,” she smiles, feeling the warmth of connection to her commander and her troops fill her chest.

“Hello, Depa,” he replies, equally as warm and the exhaustion is starting to unravel from her muscles.

“I still don’t understand what this has to do with sparkling wine,” Commander Cody states.

“Compound butter,” Quinlan and Commander Fox groan back in different levels of exasperation.

“You gotta understand,” Grey starts again and Depa’s attention snaps away from what she has thought were ancient methods on ice cream churning, “the first command batches are, genetically speaking, not that far off from the template. So they regrettably really are like this if left to their own devices.”

Depa had met Jango Fett face to face exactly once. With the Galaxy unraveling by the second, their fight had boiled down to a lot of rain and the heart stopping, heart breaking introduction of the clones, but she can very well remember the armor peaking out like neon colored evidence as Jango had explained his humble life in a state of the art cloning facility on a planet that did not exist.

“It explains a lot,” she allows.

“Sorry.”

The last line was the shine in her eyes while we explore Coruscant’s public transport 🥰

No-pressure-tagging: @chiliger @bluemaskedkarma @lttrsfrmlnrrgby @omaano @julijuli77 @snowywinterevenings and honestly whoever wants to! Show off your WIPs!

[mirrorballpages]

Elriel Headcannon: Elain quickly masters baking, and has to start hiding cookies from Cassian.

From my next series, Ivy (WIP)

She glanced down at her hands, still dusted with flour, and Azriel opened his mouth to say something else. But before he could, Cassian barged in, his heavy footsteps breaking the quiet.

“Do I smell cookies?” Cassian asked, leaning down to peer into the oven. Elain laughed, brushing her hands against her apron. “Yes, but you’ll have to wait. Fifteen minutes.”

“Hmph. Why does everyone around here act like I don’t have patience?”

“Because you don’t,” Azriel said simply, crossing his arms over his chest.

Cassian snorted. “Oh, and you’re a perfect example of patience, right? You sit through every meeting brooding because you already know everything and are annoyed we don’t.” 

As Cassian reached for the bread, Elain swatted his hand away. “It’s still hot!”

Even Azriel let out a low chuckle. “It’s because, dear brother, my job is to know everything. Unlike you, who’s still trying to keep up.” Cassian rolled his eyes but didn’t argue further. Elain slipped into the pantry, retrieving a plate of cookies she’d hidden the night before—knowing full well Cassian would devour them otherwise.

“Here,” she said, placing the plate on the counter. “Since you’re apparently starving, these are from last night.”

Cassian immediately grabbed one, his delight evident even as he spoke through a mouthful. “Were you hiding these?”

“Not hiding, more like safe-keeping,” Elain said with a smirk, turning back to check on the cookies in the oven. Azriel reached for a cookie as well, his hazel eyes softening briefly as he bit into it.

Cassian groaned. “First Rhys hoards the wine, then Azriel keeps all his secrets, and now you, Petal? What am I supposed to do around here?”

Rhysand’s voice floated in from the dining room. “The wine is hidden because otherwise, we’d go bankrupt, and I’d have to sell Feyre’s crowns. Which, we all know, wouldn’t go over well.”

Laughter rippled through the kitchen at that, though Elain felt a pang as she glanced toward the dining room. Feyre was glowing, her joy radiating as she sat beside Rhysand, her head leaning against his arm. It wasn’t jealousy—not exactly. She was happy for her sister, truly. But she longed for that kind of connection, that deep, soul-binding love Feyre and Rhys shared so effortlessly.

Shaking the thought away, Elain clapped her hands. “Shoo, everyone! It’s almost ready.”

Cassian grumbled but complied, the twins following him out with teasing remarks trailing behind them.

Azriel lingered for a moment. “Do you need any help?”

She turned, her hands full of plates. “No, no, please. Relax.”

He nodded and left, but as the kitchen grew quiet, Elain found herself missing his presence, the warmth he brought with him.

[skribbledarker]

VAMP SANJI WIP UPDATE!1!1!1 i finally got off my ass and started writing ts so. have a snippet. context is that Sanji’s germa genes are starting to take effect OHHH hes not gonna have anything good happen to him from here on out sorry yall…enjoy

—

“I missed you.”

“Wh—” Sanji completely forgot he wasn’t alone. He jumps and the knife slips; Sanji registers a sharp pain in his thumb before he really has the chance to process what the hell Zoro just said. “Ow, shit—”

“Cook?”

“Ugh, fucking nicked myself,” Sanji hisses. he sticks the tip of his finger in his mouth, sucking on the pad of his thumb to stave the bleeding off when the coppery taste of way more blood than there should be fills his mouth.

Sanji lets the knife clatter to the counter as he scans the sink area for a dish towel, the pain from the cut throbbing dully as he grabs one and quickly bunches it over the digit. Zoro shifts from his perch on the couch, the bottle he was holding clinking on the wood as he puts it down. “You sure?”

“Yeah, m’fine, just—“ Sanji scans the counter for any stains, and oh, that is a good chunk of flesh with a fingernail sticking out of it just sitting on the table. That is a quarter of his thumb. on the table. What the fuck. Sanji feels panic well up inside him, because he just sliced off half of his fucking finger.“—Oh.”

“What the hell are you doing over there?”

The words go in one ear and out of the other. Carefully, very carefully, Sanji removes the towel from over his thumb (Chopper would be fucking screaming at him for not putting pressure on the wound, but he needs to see the damage) and…

…It’s fine. His thumb looks fine, whole. Once he frantically wipes the rest of the blood off, there’s barely even a cut. Again, what the fuck, because Sanji knows he just chopped off a good portion of that digit and it’s laying right next to him.

And then Sanji watches, breath tight in his chest, as the remaining wound on his thumb starts knitting itself together. The cut fully closes, leaving nothing but pink, tender, skin behind, and everything seems to grind to a halt as Sanji realizes exactly what this means.

“Do you need a bandage?” Zoro is somehow behind him now, looking over Sanji’s shoulder, and he scrambles to throw the dish towel over the incriminating chunk of his finger still on the counter before the swordsman can see.

Sanji barely spares enough focus to bat him away with his other hand, still reeling from the revelation. “Go– fucking sit down, it’s not even bleeding anymore.”

“Whatever. You’re being weird.” Zoro throws his arms up in defeat.

“Your face is weird!”

“I’ll gut you.”

“Shut. Up.”

“Fine,” Zoro tromps back his perch on the galley’s couch while Sanji struggles to keep his breathing in check.

It was stupid, really, for Sanji to think that he was in the clear. To believe that everything would all suddenly be over after he’d finally gotten rid of the last of the influence Judge had on him. Or, well, thought he’d finally gotten rid of– Even in its absence, Germa still manages to be ever-present in everything he does. Sanji really should’ve known better.

He pulls a breath in, oblivious to the eyes (eye, really) on his back, wrapping up the offending piece of finger in the towel and chucking the entire thing into the garbage can. Sanji will finish up here, go to sleep, and pray that he’s still him in the morning, because what else is there to do in this fucking situation?

The galley is blissfully silent as Sanji picks up the knife again, finishing off the rest of Franky’s potatoes quickly and carefully; Zoro doesn’t comment on what just happened, or what he said earlier, and Sanji is quietly very glad for that. The entire time, the knowledge of what’s happening in his body sits in the back of the blonde’s mind like a stone. Heavy, threatening to bowl him over with the weight. It stifles him, even as he moves deftly to clean the kitchen and not-so-nicely give the marimo a boot to the ass.

when Sanji falls asleep that night, he dreams of his name: whispered on faceless lips while a sword plunges gently into his chest.

—

ugh i have a slur to say. the two of them are homo leve 100 thousand and Sanji is about to start having a BAD TIME. oka

[ollypopwrites]

i got tagged by @the-bear-and-his-sunbird to post a snippet of a WIP and tbh I didn’t know what to post but I found something!

Tagging anyone who wants to play (please tag me I love to see what you are working on) and I am too distracted to think of all the lovely writers and their fics that I greedily want a sneak peak at.

This snippet was written at the beginning of a follow up to Aureate, a bit of a flashback moment. at this point I like what I wrote but am still unsure it has a place in that fic!! It is unedited and very much just like a spark of a thought i wrote out sooooo take it for what it is lol

Emmrich had known devastating loss, he met it very early and it had been somewhat of a companion for most of his life.

Suddenly and with striking finality he had become an orphan, with no other family willing or able to take him in. Home and parents, gone all in one fell swoop.

And he was a sensitive child, something that had never truly passed, not a phase or a fleeting reaction to tragedy. No, even forty odd years after the loss of his parents he was still quite easily moved to extreme emotion. The only thing that had changed was his ability to mask it, and even that was mediocre when the more pressing feelings washed over him in a tidal wave.

Loss was familiar but he never found it less harrowing. That initial detachment, the shock, had rendered him mute the first few days after his parents died. The first stage of grief was where one had to grapple with was the idea that someone was now forever absent. He had learned to trudge on through that, smaller losses had made it possible.

A first love, dashed and broken. Second, third and fourth loves in succession, deeply scarring in their start and end. The stark acceptance of dreams left behind. Indeed, lichdom had many appeals, one of which being that there would be no final grave next to his parents’. He had agonized over forewards of his books in editions published after his demise, mentioning a sparse trio of graves with no new names to add to the altar. The sharp edge of a lack of family in both directions; no parents, no lover, no children. It was only him and his work. The horrible ache of friendships thrown to the rocks. Johanna had been a slow but aching loss, one of the most memorable.

“So you didn’t get blown to bits! Aren’t you going to gloat? Volkarin the God Vanquisher! Pah!”

Even if she was still present in his life, and he had the slightest hope time would soften her to something less wretched (unlikely), the days where they could call each other friend were long gone. A new soreness bloomed, as he thought that the comfort of a friend who had been with him as long as she had would have been welcome.

Emmrich didn’t entertain a response to her jab. Nothing she said was going to soothe or even be remotely helpful. He’d be better off knocking on Taash’s door, who was actively melting everything in their room. Even now he could faintly hear a thud and a crash.

Poor, poor Taash. Their mother and now Lace.

Taash was not receptive to his approaches of comfort, but he was sure Rook would —

Ah. That’s right.

They had returned home from Tearstone Island three short. Lace Harding was undoubtedly dead, while Bellara was in all likelihood absorbed and dying a slow painful death by blight. Lovely ladies, very dear friends of his, the pair of them. Someone would need to water Harding’s plants, and he should organize Bellara’s scribbled notes to get them published for her. There were no remains to do anything with, and even if there were the others would have burnt them. Barbaric.

[sdr2lovemail]

Daisuke x Reader WIP that I'm not finishing

Synopsis: Daisuke angst something something idk

Notes: This is 12 pages of Daisuke fanfiction that I'm not finishing. I liked what I wrote, so I'm posting what I had!

The sun was just coming up over the horizon. Curly checks his watch anxiously. The ship was due to close its doors soon, and the crew’s IT specialist had yet to arrive. Knowing Pony Express, they would have launched them with or without everyone on board.

Just as he was about to give up and head inside, there’s the sharp sound of shoes hitting the pavement.

“Wait! I’m here!”

Skidding to a halt in front of the captain, you bound over with your hands on your knees. Panting, you offer up a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I’m late. Traffic was a nightmare.” That didn’t include the time you spent last minute packing.

Curly gives you a once over, eyeing the uniform you’ve personalized once again. “It’s your second year working here and yet you’re still violating the dress code.” There was a slight chuckle in his tone.

“I could always go back and change.” You huffed. The drab uniform of the company was simply not up to par.

Shaking his head with a sigh, you’re ushered in to the ship. “No, no, it’s fine. You’re late enough as is. Even the intern made it before you did.”

You perked up, eyes shining. “Daisuke got here before me? That sucks, I wanted to give him the tour.”

The door to the ship shuts with a sharp hiss, the internal mechanism activating the airlock and sealing everyone inside. There was no turning back as Curly punched a code into the keypad near the doorway.

“Yeah, Swansea wasn’t too thrilled to show him around,” his fingers paused. He turns to you with raised eyebrows. “You know Daisuke?”

“Of course, I know Daisuke. I helped him get this job.” Waving your captain off with a shrug, you think back a bit.

Daisuke’s mother, the sweet woman she is, wanted nothing more than the best for her son. It may have been harsh, but in her eyes, this was his doorway to bigger and better things. With his lackluster resume, she figured having you be a reference would help him get out there.

“Between you and me, I don’t think my word was enough. I’m sure she paid those suits a hefty bribe.” You confessed.

As the two of you walked down the creaky, metal halls of the ship, Curly could feel a faint headache starting to form. He pushed it back with a smile. “So, you knew we’d be having an intern before the rest of us? Why didn’t you let me know? We could’ve prepared better.”

Daisuke’s sudden appearance left the crew a bit scrambled. They were short on some supplies, only having stocked up for five people. If they had given a proper warning, perhaps he’d have a proper bed to sleep on and not a cot that Anya was able to find.

“Pony Express said they told you.” Typical.

Nearing the lounge, there’s the gruff hum of Swansea’s drawl. What interested you more was the carefree voice that responded to him. With a spring in your step, you turn the corner.

Eyes were set on you and Curly. Jimmy says nothing while Anya gives a polite wave. Arms crossed; Swansea glared over. “Finally, you’re here. Now the kid can shut up.”

The scent of coconut and ocean waves envelop you as warm, tanned arms surround you. Daisuke leans in for a soft kiss, not minding the audience made up of the crew.

Ignoring Jimmy’s disgusted, and possibly jealous, groan, Curly looks surprised. “Oh, you know Daisuke…”

“This is the Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome you talk so much about?” Anya snickered behind her hand, knowing of the longing rambles you’ve shared with her on escorts.

 Your smile shined, unashamed and proud as your arm was slung around his waist. “That’s right!”

Pulling a flustered act, Daisuke brings his hand to the back of his head to card it through hair. “Oh stop! You talk about me to your friends? I’m embarrassed!” He giggles like a girl in love, which wasn’t too far from the truth.

Childhood friends and high school sweethearts. The two of you have been together for so long. Through everything in life, Daisuke was by your side. Sneaking out to spend the night and taking joyrides. There never seemed to be a time for you to be apart.

When you put in the application for Pony Express, Daisuke sat by you with bated breath. He’d ask every day since you sent it if there was a response. The night your acceptance letter arrived, he took you out to eat, paying for anything he could.

After dropping you off, the radio shut off, he had time to think. He was happy for you, ecstatic even, but he wasn’t going to lie. He felt left behind.

Your opinion and praise and important to him. If you went off to such a professional job, would you find him less than and leave? There was a pit in his stomach at the time, feeling awful that he could even think such a thing.

The thought never left when he dropped you off for your first lift off and the following after that. With you gone for so long, he had more time to put in job applications. Rejection after rejection, his mom was getting tired.

Bags in hand, he stood in front of the towering ship. Travel like this was common, but something about it still felt so futuristic. It was amazing that he got this internship, what did he know about being a mechanic? The only thing he’s ever fixed was his Gameboy that needed new batteries.

Despite the nerves, Daisuke was going to do his best! He was here and was going to make everyone proud. His parents, his new boss, and you.

Your stomach growled as you looked towards the ceiling. Counting the bubbles in the emergency foam seemed to be the best way to pass time. The already strict meals had gotten scarce as the food supply dwindled. Swallowing your saliva will have to sustain you for now.

Daisuke was off with Swansea, Anya was with Curly, and who knew where Jimmy was. Since the crash, the IT room was nearly filled to the brim with foam. With your one surviving computer in pieces, there was nothing for you to do around the ship.

The batteries in your Walkman died a while ago. Daisuke offered to share the last three he had, but you would much rather he kept them. You could always hum the lyrics and hope you remember the lyrics.

The door to the lounge slid open. Daisuke walks in with a big stretch. Plopping himself onto his bedroll, the one he insisted on sliding next to yours, he yawned. “Boss wouldn’t budge again. I keep offering to help break through the foam, but he keeps refusing. I’ll try again tomorrow!”

There was that carefree smile. The one that brought a warm hope into your heart. Laying back, he turns to look at you with those soft, brown eyes. “We’ll get to eat tomorrow morning. Hm, or I guess whenever everyone wakes up.” He turns onto his side and brings his hand to draw patterns on your arm. “I’ll try and snag your favorite soup this time! No one can beat me at rock, paper, scissors.”

You smiled, reaching over to take his hand in your own. “That’s okay. Honestly, I’ll eat anything I’m given.”

“Come on! Pleeeaase?” Daisuke’s hands were clasped in front of him, pleading for you to agree.

“I can’t give you the code scanner. This was a onetime thing.”

Curly had been preoccupied in the cockpit and you needed to get into the IT room. For some reason access to the room was only allowed with a code scanner. Usually, you propped the door open with what was nearby to not pester your captain. Though, it seems the box you used this time gave way.

Having snuck into the empty cockpit, you were able to obtain the code scanner from Curly’s locker.

“I promise it’ll be worth it! If you’re already breaking the rules, why not finish the job?” Daisuke gave you a boyish, the gap in his teeth breaking through.

You laugh at his determination. He set on getting the sweetener packet from the kitchen. “Is it really that good? It’s just sugar, isn’t it?”

Gripping your shoulders, his tone was serious. “It’s more than just sugar. It’s the one sweet treat on this ship!” His voice fades into a whine as can practically taste that artificial sweetener on his tongue.

 You almost agreed if it wasn’t for the code scanner being ripped from your hands. Jimmy’s cigarette-stained scowl entered your vision. “You don’t have clearance to use this.”

“I needed it to get into the IT room.” There was a hint of annoyance in the back of your throat. While you always wanted to be civil with Jimmy. It felt like he always wanted to start issues.

“Next time, keep your hands off the captain’s things.” He looked down at you, not bothering to spare Daisuke a glance as he walked away.

As you lay down, hungry and tired. You wished you would’ve taken up Daisuke’s offer sooner. With Jimmy as Tulpar’s new captain, he kept that code scanner on his hip. Personally, you’d like to stay away from him as much as you could. Now more than ever.

Things felt better when you all had first boarded.

Walking along the halls, you make it to the bunks. The soft sound of humming enters the small hallway. The door closest to the hall was open. With pins borrowed from the medical room, Daisuke stands on his cot to hang up polaroids.

All the photos were marked with a date and most of them had you in the frame somehow. There were other pictures as well. Sunsets, nature, food, everything was worth capturing. He had a real talent for it. It seemed he had already snapped some photos of the ship as well. Even one with a surprised looking Anya.

Daisuke didn’t notice you enter his room, too caught up in his mind. The pushpin falls from his fingers once you spoke up.

“You decided to decorate, huh? Usually, the others live out of their suitcase.”

It was a bit of an exaggeration. Everyone brought at least one personal item from home. Anya had her books which she read often. A mix of psychology and her medical textbooks. Curly brought weights and the pillow off his bed. As much as he’d like to deny it, Swansea’s personal items were mostly photos of his family. Ever the outlier, Jimmy only brought a duffle bag that he refused to let anyone look in.

Plush lips stretch into a smile as Daisuke steps off his cot to pick up the pin. “If I’m going to be here for a year, might as well make the place feel like my bedroom.” Tacking up the last polaroid, he crashed onto the stiff cot. “it’d totally be cozier if I had an actual bed.”

Sitting next to him, you shoot him a teasing grin. “Like it matters. You’ll be in my bed before the night is over.”

“Oh, and what could that mean?” Daisuke’s voice was just as teasing. His arm was warm against your shoulders as he leaned in close. The two of you share a loving kiss. Despite the frigid air of the ship, it was plenty warm.

Swansea felt like he aged a couple of years as he watches the couple practically climb on top of each other. With a deep clear of his throat, the two of you scrambled to look a little more presentable.

“You could at least try to act professional while on the clock.” Swansea huffed, muttering something about kids these days.

Daisuke fixed his hair, though it didn’t look that different, getting up from the cot. “Totally, totally! My bad, boss.” He pulls you up next to himself, wrapping his arm snuggly around your waist.

“Is it time to launch already?” You wondered, absentmindedly leaning into your boyfriend. The hours seemed to pass too quickly for your liking. Another minute passed was another closer to being stuck in space.

Like the stars you were about to reach, Daisuke lit up. “We’re actually going to space. This might be dope for real!”

You’re quickly pulled through the halls. Daisuke runs around, not sure which room he was looking for. “Daisuke, wait! You don’t know where you’re going!”

Behind the two of you rushing away was Swansea left in the dust. He could only hope the rest of the trip wouldn’t be like this.

The axe in your hands heaved one final time. A lone computer finally free from a stubborn chunk of safety foam. A drunken Swansea watched as you chipped away. It was a bit of a struggle to get the axe away from him. With quite a bit of pleading, you were able to get it from him. You knew these computers more than the others. Where to strike without ruining the technology further.

Daisuke stood the closest to your chair, eyeing the small monitor and hoping to help you find something useful. A bit father back was Anya and Swansea. There was a deep pit of dread filling Anya’s stomach. She was nervous about something impending, but just couldn’t pinpoint what. The chance of you finding anything useful sobered Swansea up a bit. However, he still clutched a bottle of mouthwash just in case.

Your eyes scanned diligently, lines of words blending in front of your tired eyes. Lack of proper sleep and food muddling the way you think. But, with one of your computers finally free from the thick wall of foam.

“You really think there will be something useful?” Jimmy rested against the doorframe, the green glow highlighting his eyebags. “For all we know nothing in here works anymore.”

The pit in Anya’s stomach grew deeper.

“There’s still a chance, Jimmy.” Your fingers work over the worn keys with diligence. There had to be something. You were tired of wallowing if there was a sliver of hope shining through the dark clouds above you. “Just let me work.”

“Last time we poked around…” Anya eyes the mouthwash in Swansea’s hand.

“This could be good! Maybe we’ll find a message from corporate?” Daisuke nudged you.

After long loading times and sorting through countless files and links, there was something. A report with a date after Tulpar’s departure. “Oh my god, I found something.”

Jimmy was quick to nudge his way through, wide eyes scanning the screen. “Shit… Read it, hurry up.”

Your mouth was dry as you read the document.

‘Export company “Pony Express” announced bankruptcy. With the return of their final cargo ship “Stellar,” the CEO may now close its doors and open a new chapter of opportunity. The city will miss the cheery face of their equestrian mascot, “Polle.”’

The room was tense, heavy, and suffocating. No one dares to speak, threatening to break the fragile peace that was left on board. The last sliver of hope shattering before your eyes, the words read from your own lips.

“No one,” Anya covers her mouth with her hand. “Is looking for us.” Her body shakes and it feels like bile is about to rise in the back of her throat.

Swansea knew it was pointless, he pops open the cap of mouthwash, taking deep gulps. As far as anyone knew, this ship was floating to hell with no way to get off.

“There must be something else. We… we can’t just give up now guys. What if they, like, didn’t want to worry our families?” Daisuke tried to keep up with his usual cheery tone, but could he even convince himself at this point?

You took in a nervous gulp, moving your shaking fingers to the keyboard. “Right, there could be another,” the sound of smashing glass was deafening. You jumped out of the chair as a fist contacted the screen of the computer. Daisuke pulled you back, shielding your body with his arm.

Almost animalistic, was Jimmy slamming his bleeding knuckles into the monitor. With every punch came another frustrated and angry yell. He didn’t stop until the monitor shot sparks. Blood speckled the dingy white of his undershirt, dripping down to stain the floor.

Labored breathing leaves his lips before he turned to look at the rest of the crew. “Like I could have guessed, this was a waste of our time.” Jimmy’s eyes scanned the various looks surrounding him, ranging from disgruntled to downright horrified.

“Don’t look at me like that. Just like with every problem you all make, I’ll fix this. I can fix it.” He mutters while he slinks down the hallway.

A gag rises from her throat as Anya rushes out of the wrecked IT room. She didn’t know where she was heading, but it had to be anywhere but there.

The rest of your day was spent struggling to salvage any more tech. Lost in your own world, you never noticed Swansea or Daisuke leave the room. Not even when Daisuke kissed your cheek.

Poor Daisuke was left alone after his countless attempts to pull you from the room failed. Eventually, he never came back in.

By the time you decided to give up, night began to fall, if the heavy feeling in your body was anything to go by. Shuffling through the halls was like a graveyard. Dead and lifeless. No crew in sight or the peppy beat of Swansea’s playlist.

Sliding open the door to the lounge, Anya and Daisuke were tucked away in their bedrolls. Swansea and Jimmy were nowhere to be seen, but you could figure where the mechanic was. Drowning himself in mouthwash all while guarding the utility room.

Your legs felt like they were filled with lead as you dropped yourself onto the makeshift bed. Covering yourself with the poor excuse of a blanket, you curl up against Daisuke’s back.

Trembling. That’s what you felt.

Listening closely for a moment, stifled, choked breathing followed. Urgency shot through you. You sat up, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Daisuke, baby? Are you crying?”

He flinched, not expecting you to speak. The silence hung in the air for a while, unwanted and strangely loud. His sniffles were the only thing you could hear. He didn’t want to say anything, hoping you’d just ignore him and go to bed. He was supposed to be carefree Daisuke, not someone that brings the mood down.

Your hand trails up to his face, guiding their way to brush his hair from his damp face. “Please, tell me what’s wrong. Let me help you.”

“It’s nothing!” He rushed out too harshly for his liking. Rising from his side, he scrubs his eyes with his wrist, tone much softer this time. “I’m just a little… spent right now. But, come tomorrow, I’ll be back to full-power Daisuke!” There was an attempt at laughing, however strained it came out.

His mannerisms were skittish like a small animal, avoiding looking at you.

“Daisuke…”

Shoulder’s shaking, his head slightly turns your way. From how puffy his eyes, or rather eye, were, it was clear that he had been crying for a while. His cheeks were splotchy and red, while his eyes were glassy.

“Talk to me, please. You’re usually so open with me.” Your hands were as soft as silk, guiding his body to turn.

Daisuke keeps his head low, not daring to look over at you, lest his poorly kept composure cracks beyond repair. “My feelings are like super messed up right now.” His voice was weak and small. “I want to talk to you. But it’s like if I do, my heart will explode out of my chest and spill all over you.”

Simply thinking brought a fresh wave of tears to Daisuke’s eyes. Seeing his grief made your heart clench and pull. You felt responsible. You helped him get this job. You helped him back his bags. You talked about how fun it could be to traverse space together. And it would be on you for his disappearance.

Comfort him. That was all your mind could focus on. Every tear that pooled down his cheek was another reason for you to feel awful. It wasn’t the soundest way of thinking, but what else was there? Even the most optimistic of the crew was showing his threads. Unwinding and unraveling before you and yet still trying not to worry anyone.

Your chest pressed against his back while your arms wrapped over his shoulders. Tucking your head against his neck, still wet with tears, you whisper to him. “It’s okay. We don’t have to talk right now. I’m sorry for not being here with you while you felt this way.” You rock his body from side to side. A gesture he was always fond of.

Another round of hushed sobs cut through Daisuke’s throat. He tried to speak but the lump in his throat kept him from letting out anything beside strangled whines.

You felt hopeless. It felt like there was nothing you could do besides listening to his despair. No further words were shared between the two of you. The hours melted together as you slipped in and out of consciousness. At some point in the night, Daisuke curled away from your arms.

You’re the one that helped get him this job.

Soft breathing and the gentle brushing of hair rang tenderly through your bunk. Sleep begs to take you into her arms but all you want to do is play with your boyfriend’s bleached hair. Daisuke’s soft murmur pulls you from the brink of rest.

“I wonder if mom’s thinking about me.” With the quiet tone of his voice, it was like that was a sentence more for himself. “I’m all the way up in space, how wild is that?”

Your fingers pause, shifting your position to look up at him. “I’m sure she is.” You reassured, a small, sleepy smile stretching against your lips. “I bet she’s enjoying the peace and quiet.” Teasing snickers left your lips.

“Yeah, not having to check the mail every day for my packages.” He joked back. Online shopping would get him hooked like a vice. He says the convenience is way too convenient, whatever that means.

You turn yourself to lay on your stomach, meeting his honeyed eyes. “She’s probably counting the days for you to get back. I’m sure she misses you a lot.”

“I bet. It felt like straight torture when you would leave for your hauls.” Daisuke reached to play with your face, tracing your features with the tips of his fingers. “Doesn’t the thought make you sad? Poor Daisuke, left on earth with no one to kiss him and go shopping and spend the night.”

“The horror!” You laughed. The space between the two of you closed, your lips peppering kiss after kiss against his skin. “I missed you every time I had to leave. But it’s nice to know you were always thinking about me.”

Daisuke’s lips go straight for your neck, nipping and kissing a trail down. The neck was such an intimate place. Any chance he got, it’s his ideal place to love. There’s just something so sacred about it. He couldn’t get enough.

Taking a moment to rest his head against your shoulder, Daisuke mumbles into your skin. “Mom will probably insist you come over after the trip. She’ll probably make too much food and you’ll be leaving with a mountain of leftovers again.” A yawn escaped into the air.

“I would kill someone to eat her cooking again.” You mumbled, falling asleep yourself.

Before you drifted off, there was a final sentence spoken in a small voice. “I hope she’s not worried.”

The bottle of mouthwash was clutched tightly in your hand. Mouthwash? That’s it? Your life was worth a bottle of mouthwash. Lost and drifting in space with possibly no chance of returning to Earth, all because of a minty hygiene product.

Swansea had pulled Daisuke away and Anya holed herself up in medical. There was no one to confide in. Trapped with your own thoughts. Alone. Drifting away. The bottle of mouthwash feels heavy in your hands. A sip couldn’t hurt.

“How ya feeling?” Eyes, unfocused and blurry, make out the shape of Jimmy. He takes the bottle from your hands, giving it a small shake. “Hm, you’ve drained the thing.”

The backrest of the couch cradles your pounding head. Your brows furrow as you close your eyes. “What’s it matter to you? You’ve drank it.”

Jimmy tossed the bottle next to you, crossing his arms. “What good is a ship if it’s captain doesn’t check in with his crew?”

“You’re not the captain, Jimmy.”

“Oh, and Curly is?” He gets closer to you, the smell of mint on his breath. “In case you forgot, he tried to kill us! So, I have to take the role of captain. I do more around here than any of you. It seems I’m the only one pulling my weight around here.”

You couldn’t muster the strength to open your eyes. “I don’t believe that.”

Jimmy’s eyes widened. “What? You think I’m not working hard?” His face pulls into a scowl.

“I don’t believe that Curly’s the one that crashed the ship. What motive could he possibly have?” While Jimmy knew Curly longer, this just felt wrong. He seemed like a stable man, could the birthday party have upset him that much?

A magazine falls to the ground. A hand reached to cup the back of bleached hair. “Yeow!” Daisuke flips around on the couch, looking up at you standing above him.  Rolls of streamers were held in your arms, much like the one you threw at him. “Babe, what was that for?”

You smiled at him, partially amused and fully ticked off. “You could stand to help a little. These streamers won’t hang up themselves.”

“Didn’t mean you had to clock me in my noggin. Besides, I hung up streamers already.” Walking up the stairs, he makes a grand gesture of pointing to the wall. A singular, lopsided strand of streamers hangs above one of the doorways. He purposely avoids your pointed look to “admire” his work.

“Daisuke, we get one birthday party a year. This is really the work you want to show for it?” You sighed. The communal birthday party was one of the only times a year where it felt like you could relax on board. Hanging out with your crew and eating a weird semi-liquid cake.

“Whose lame idea was that anyways? Why can’t we all celebrate our birthdays?” Daisuke wondered.

Walking towards the ladder, you shrugged. “Something about the cake making process being delicate, whatever that means. I think they're just cheap.”

Figuring that Daisuke was over hanging up the decorations, you take a step on the ladder. Warmth spreads along your shoulder. “Let me do it.”

“I thought you were done hanging up streamers.” You teased, stepping down to offer him the rolls of streamers.

“Psh, my arms are totally longer, it’ll get done faster. Then, we could make out on the couch until it’s time for the party.” He reasoned.

Perverted ideals aside, Daisuke just wanted to help you. With nothing to buy, spend, and spoil you with, it left one of his main love languages down the drain. Yeah, being handsy was fun and all, but he didn’t want you to believe he was just some horny slacker. Even if it was true.

Not like he could favor one way to love you over the other. Spoiling you in any way was good enough for him. While your dates usually started with him swiping his card and ended with kissing the back seat of his car, acts of service were nice too.

While he couldn’t cook fancy meals, cutting up a bowl of fruit for you to share was still romantic in his eyes. Driving to your office to deliver your lunch. Rubbing your shoulders after spending a long day hunched over a computer.

There weren’t many services he could provide on the ship, but he could at least hang up some streamers.

Anya walks into the lounge with a box of yellow and red party hats in her arms. She takes a moment to admire the decorations with a smile. It quickly falls seeing the two of you on the couch. “Am I interrupting?”

Surprised, Daisuke rises up from the couch with wide eyes. His hair was disheveled, cheeks were flushed, and his Hawaiian shirt was no where to be seen. “Oh, hey. Is it time for the party?”

“Soon.” The nurse rests the box on the dining table, turning to face the couch once more. “You two should get cleaned up. The others should be here in a moment to help finish the preparations.” She kneels down for a moment, picking something up.

Grabbing Daisuke’s hand, you guide him through the lounge, heading for the bathrooms. “Got it, guess we got distracted.” You laughed.

“Don’t you miss your youth, Anya?” Snickering, Daisuke missed the Hawaiian shirt hurtling towards his head. “Augh! Sweet, my shirt!”

Anya shook her head, watching the two of you walk away. The communal birthday parties are enjoyable. She hopes that the captain has fun too.

The dull ringing never leaves. The constant, annoying buzz that won’t go. That’s all Curly could hear. When his crew would speak to him, their voices would sound muffled, drowned out by the ringing.

[a1cov3]

a thing i did for @pyrosomatic-metamorphosis’s qsmp fic, sweet dreams

this fic, specifically this scene, has haunted me for several months

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

[electric-plants]

listen sometimes i just think that when cyno heard alhaitham was going to be acting grand sage he immediately started begging and pleading to be able to go and personally rub it in azar’s face

[penn-dragon]

Hey, on the topic of my own fic writing, I’ve got a question for my followers/fic readers.

I have a tendency to never post any of my writing, because my various unmedicated (I’m working on it) neurodivergences and mental illnesses make it very hard for me to ever finish pieces, and I feel really bad about starting a fic that someone could be really into and then potentially never finishing it when my brain suddenly decides I’m not allowed to write any more of it. So a long time ago I made it a rule for myself that I never post anything until it’s 100% finished, even if I have like multiple chapter that are perfectly ready to be published. Which ultimately leads to me never posting anything and sitting on a hoard of writing that only myself and select friends ever see.

So my question is, it more upsetting to read part of a story that might never get finished? Or to know that there’s writing out there that you don’t get to read just because it’s not finished?

[pastelaeqy]

wip

dbh brainworms have been lasting too long

[averlym]

"bad decisions, that's alright; look, i'm still alive"

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: DESERT CREATURES by Kay Chronister.

Up next! I'm heading back into my Driscoll revision project next month, WHICH MEANS: I can start reading through my Driscoll-vibes TBR shelf again!! I have been promised weird desert body horror (with a side of cannibalism? yikes?), and I'm excited to see how this goes.

[musical-chick-13]

Cannot BELIEVE I had to have a conversation with someone where, after I complained about people Not Wanting To Write About Women, I then had to explain that yes, I DO write about men sometimes, actually; no I don't hate men; yes I write from the POV of the men in numerous cases and also analyze them.

[causticsunshine]

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