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kingofbodyrolls · 5 months ago

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End of the World: a Flickering Hope (m) | myg

every nation seems at war with themselves and everyone, but you and Yoongi manage to stay alive. Until the inevitable catches up to you and you desperately seek help. Will you find it before time runs out?

→ Pairing: Yoongi x reader (female) → Genres/AUs: post-apocalyptic, dystopian, survival, co-dependency to stay alive + heavy angst, fluff and minor smut with a very small sprinkle of comedy and hope for the future. → Tropes: established relationship → Rating: mature/explicit/R18 (this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact.) → Word count: 4k (it’s a shortie 🤭) → Warnings + triggers: protected sex (it’s very minor and not very detailed like I normally do), nuclear war (bombings), exposure to radiation, cancer (talks about treatment and cures (yes in this story there’s a cure for cancer 🥹)), dystopian world, everything is a wasteland, factions and segregation (the elite/rich vs everyone else),there’s also a bit of social commentary in it, anxiety attacks, hyperventilation, time skips, hope. It’s still angsty and grim, lol, but with a hopeful ending! → Author’s note(1): it got short (compared to what I usually write lol). It serves as a bridge between the first story (end of the world) and the spinoff (whalien52). I hope you enjoy it even though it’s short, and if you enjoy this dystopian world, I recommend reading the spinoff (it’s with Jimin as the male lead though). → Read on AO3? [link]

[navi]: end of the world // end of the world: a flickering hope // shower drabble // whalien52 // end of the world: epilogue

“It feels like we’re at the end of the world,” you murmur, gazing out at the blue ocean, mesmerized that at least something still looks the same. The rest of the landscape is a stark contrast, a wasteland ravaged by endless bombings.

“Yeah, it kinda does,” Yoongi muses with a chuckle, gently nudging your shoulder.

“Do you think this war will ever stop?” you ask, hope mingled with despair. Over half a year has passed since the first bomb fell, and now it seems every nation is at war with itself and each other.

“When there aren’t more people left, maybe,” he replies, his voice rough, the morbid truth hanging heavily between you. The powerful few seem intent on death and destruction, and everyone else is left to suffer and die.

“I don’t get it. The whole world is going to die at this point,” you say, sagging to the ground beside Yoongi.

“True. But we’re not the ones in power. We can’t do anything about it,” Yoongi says, his voice steady and calm.

“They say on the radio that almost all countries are affected and there isn’t much land left like we used to know,” he adds, a frown etched on his face.

“God. I don’t want to listen to the radio anymore. I get so depressed hearing about it all,” you groan, “I almost want to throw the damn thing into the ocean. But it’s our only lifeline to civilization, I guess.”

He chuckles, “I get it. It’s fine if you don’t want to listen to the news. I’ll listen for you and tell you the important information if there’s any.”

“Thank you, Yoongi,” you lean in and kiss him on the cheek.

“Maybe we should move again,” Yoongi suggests. You both rise, packing your things and bags.

As you walk through the desolate land, the forests and bushes burned and charred, the road made bumpy by explosions, the sky alternates between a bright blue on days without bombings and a dark shade of gray whenever there’s more bombs falling.

But just seeing the blue sky on some days gives you a fragile flicker of hope for the future. Maybe things will be alright in the end? Are you delusional for thinking that? For still wanting things to go back to the way they were before the war? Deep down, you know it’s impossible to rewind time, yet you can’t help but yearn for a chance to prevent all this devastation. You’re neither a politician nor a soldier, nor do you want to be, but sometimes you wish you had their power and autonomy.

Rumors swirl about the remnants of your government reaching out to other nations for help, but with the entire world reduced to a wasteland, there’s no aid to be found, no refuge to seek. You glance down at your battered feet and worn shoes, the ash and dirt mingling in a grim testament to your journey. The sight makes you frown. Where should you head to now? The question hangs in the air, as heavy and uncertain as the gray clouds that often blot out the sun.

Honestly, you don’t know where you’re going— to safety? What is safety even in a world where every country is at war?

— 2 years later

You don’t know how, maybe through sheer luck, but you and Yoongi have managed to survive the worst of the war. Over two harrowing years of constant bombings, the omnipresent fear of death, and relentless fighting for your lives. Every minute has been a nightmare, an unending torment.

But now, there’s been an eerie silence.

The bombings have ceased, and the world seems quieter—too quiet. You suspect there aren’t many people left. Most are probably dead. Only the lucky, the hardened survivalists like you and Yoongi, have made it this far. You’ve heard rumors about the wealthy sequestered in their bomb-proof bunkers. How fortunate for them. A shame you couldn’t afford such luxuries. Yoongi’s house lacked such a feature. It would’ve been nice to have been spared from this massacre, to have been sheltered from the relentless horrors.

You and Yoongi have set up camp in a desolate wasteland. Nature is gone, replaced by a sandy, barren expanse. You’ve made a small bonfire to keep warm—it’s the middle of winter now. Though you have each other to stay warm at night, a fire is always a welcome comfort, even if it risks attracting unwanted attention. But you’re prepared for that. You still have your weapons, and Yoongi has taught you to aim better. You feel a grim satisfaction in being prepared, wishing you’d taken such precautions before the bombings. But it’s never too late to learn, right?

“Have you heard any news about civilization?” you ask Yoongi, warming your hands over the small fire.

“Only that people are trying to gather and rebuild slowly… but they don’t agree on how things should be, now that the regular government has fallen,” he shrugs, his shoulders weighed down by the burdens of survival. Yoongi has been your rock since you met, always listening to the radio for news when it depresses you too much.

“Figures,” you pout, rolling your eyes. “There’s probably going to be a fight for power,” you chuckle bitterly. It wouldn’t surprise you. People are so fucking predictable. You don’t want a part of it, but if it affects you, you’ll do whatever you must to live comfortably.

“I hate what this has done to nature,” Yoongi sulks, kicking sand into the fire in frustration. “I mean, I miss the trees. The green colors. Even grass. That feeling of being barefoot on grass. I miss it so much.”

You nod, agreeing completely. God, you miss that too. Or a nice shower. Damn. You haven’t had one since Yoongi’s house. The thought makes you sad, makes you clench your fists in anger.

You hate this world and everything it has become.

Sometimes you wonder if it would have been better to die, like your friends. But you quickly banish those thoughts. It’s not fair to your friends or to everyone else who’s dead. You’re alive, and you have to make the best of it, even though everything sucks and nothing will ever be the same again.

“I also miss sleeping in a bed. Like on a nice mattress. Fuck. There are so many things I miss,” Yoongi adds, his voice thick with emotion. Reminiscing about the things he misses brings him great pain.

“Yeah,” you say, placing your hand on top of his. “But at least we still have each other.”

“Yes. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he smiles at you, and you think he looks so handsome and beautiful, his cute nose and jaw—everything about him is amazing. His rough yet soft features. You love him so much. He has done so much for you. You’ll forever be in debt to him.

— 4 years later

“My feet are so sore, Yoon,” you pant, feeling the throbbing pain from days of relentless walking, the swelling making each step a new ordeal.

“Let’s take a break. We’ve been walking for days. Let’s set up camp,” he rasps, his voice rougher and more hoarse with time, a result of exposure to the relentless elements or something else, something you both fear to name.

Dropping your backpacks to the ground, Yoongi sets up the tent while you sit down, finally giving your weary legs a rest. Your gaze drifts to the sky, now filled with white clouds—a stark contrast to the endless gray you’ve grown accustomed to. Four years ago, you never thought you’d see white clouds again, let alone a glimpse of blue sky. It makes your heart clench with a fragile hope, a hope for a future you scarcely dared to dream about, yet desperately cling to. On the rare days when the sun breaks through the perpetual gloom, you savor its warmth and light.

“We’re almost out of food,” Yoongi states, coughing slightly before sitting next to you. You lean into him, seeking comfort in his presence.

“It’s okay. I wish we could forage from nature. We can make it,” you say, your voice tinged with hope as you lace your fingers with his. Both of you are exhausted—tired of walking, tired of running. Ever since the war started four years ago, you’ve been on the move, searching for safety. The world was bombed into oblivion, and those who survived scattered, fighting for their lives. The old people in power have regrouped, forming the New World Order, a ruthless regime bent on controlling what is left of civilization. They keep many secrets, information they don’t want the scattered remnants of humanity to know. The New World Order hunts anyone who opposes them, which is why you stay hidden, moving in the shadows. Various resistance groups have sprung up, each fighting back, but they are fragmented, hard to keep up with.

“Yeah, but for now, we still have some food left. Let’s eat,” he says, hugging you tightly as if afraid he might lose you.

You follow his lead, retrieving rations from your packs. Food is scarce, but you’ve learned to live off minimal portions just to stay alive. Begging for food in a city is a last resort; stealing is even lower on your list, but survival drives you to consider the unthinkable.

Eating is a relief, filling your empty stomachs. After your meal, you and Yoongi head into your tent. It’s battered and full of holes, but it provides a semblance of shelter, a fragile barrier against the harsh world outside.

Inside the tent, Yoongi massages your tired feet, his touch soothing the ache from days of relentless walking. You nestle into each other, your lips finding each other in a desperate dance. Your breaths mingle, turning into soft moans that punctuate the silence of the night.

“I want you, love,” Yoongi pants. The way he calls you ‘love’ now always makes your heart race, your face flush. You’ve been in love with him for a long time, and every time he says it, it reminds you just how deeply.

“I want you too. Please, make love to me. I need you,” you quiver, your desire for him skyrocketing. This need always peaks at night or in the mornings, a burning hunger that drives you into each other’s arms on the daily.

Yoongi undresses you with a feverish urgency, and you help him out of his clothes. Your kisses become needier, as if you’re afraid this might be the last time. His lips trail down your neck, and you moan, feeling like you’re in heaven. He grabs a condom—you’d used up that box of 500 pieces a long time ago, but thankfully Yoongi managed to find some in a city you passed through, because bringing a child into this shattered world is the last thing either of you wants. Fuck the fact that you don’t have money. But you don’t have money for a child either.

He strokes himself, grunting low and lustful, then rolls the condom on. He nudges your slick entrance, always ready for him, always needing him. He guides himself into you, filling you completely, and you both gasp at the sensation. His hands find yours, fingers lacing together, grounding you in the moment.

He starts to thrust, slow and steady, each movement deliberate and sensual. “I don’t ever want to lose you,” he chokes out, his voice thick with emotion. He presses down on you, his forehead resting against yours, eyes closed in a deep breath before he opens them again. “I feel like we don’t have much time.”

You look at him, puzzled by his sudden anxiety. “Why?”

“I don’t know, it’s just a feeling I have,” he says, his lips meeting yours again.

When he pulls away, you try to reassure him. “Everything will be okay. We’ll make it.”

He hums, increasing the speed of his hips, thrusting deeper. “I love you,” he whispers, his hand finding your clit, rubbing circles that send waves of pleasure through your body. Your climax builds quickly, and you release around him, your moans mingling with his name, telling him how much you love him, how lucky you are to have him.

He kisses you deeply, and with a grunt, he finds his own release, filling the condom. You both pant for air, and he rolls to the side, discarding the condom in the corner of the tent. He spoons you, your hearts beating in sync, the warmth of his body a comforting shield against the cold, uncertain world outside.

In the quiet aftermath, you feel a fleeting sense of peace. Despite everything, you have Yoongi, and in this moment, that feels like enough.

The next morning, your feet feel somewhat better, but you know you’ll have to walk again today. You and Yoongi eat a sparse breakfast, trying to ignore your dwindling food supply. At least you still have clean water.

As you pack up, Yoongi looks at you with a serious expression. “I think I’m getting sick,” he says, and your heart drops. This is what you’ve been dreading. It’s his cough, isn’t it?

Forcing optimism in this shattered world, you give him a wry smile. “Let’s not jump to conclusions. Maybe we should head to one of the cities near the Capital. There might be a good doctor there who can look at you.” You smile, clinging to hope, because you can’t afford for him to be sick.

You can’t afford to lose him.

You don’t want to be alone.

You need him and you love him.

Relax. Deep breath. Yoongi’s soft eyes meet yours, and you do your best to steady your thoughts and your breathing. An anxiety attack won’t solve anything.

“I think that’s a good idea,” he says with a smile, grabbing your hand and tracing light circles in your palm. “It’s okay. It will be okay.”

You pack up the rest of your things and start the trek towards the Capital. You don’t want to enter the Capital itself, knowing The New World Order’s presence makes survival there impossible. Your best bet is a suburb with a good doctor.

Hand in hand, you walk, one foot after the other. Many breaks for water and pee breaks make progress slow. You have to set up camp again, and the days stretch into weeks. The journey on foot is grueling, and the scenery is a bleak reminder of the war—cracked roads, sand and dirt, burnt patches, and ash-covered areas. You hate it, the stark contrast to the life before the war, but it’s also how you met Yoongi. At least one good thing came out of it.

You don’t know how long you’ve been walking, but at least you have each other, unlike the last time you ventured out for safety. Both of you are immensely tired, feet sore, but then you spot it in the distance: a small city just before the Capital.

The Capital and its surrounding cities have been rebuilt since the war, their new structures futuristic looking; cold and distant. You miss the comforting feel of home.

“You see it too, right? It’s not just my mind playing tricks on me?” you ask in disbelief, eyes fixed on the city ahead.

“It’s there, you’re not crazy, love,” Yoongi chuckles beside you, his hand still in yours as you will your bodies to make it to the city.

It’s small, barely more than a dirt road flanked by a few buildings. Calling it a city or even a town would be a stretch. As you walk through the deserted streets, hope wanes. Suddenly, a tall, muscular man with black hair steps into your path, and you collide with him.

You bump your head against his chest and groan, muttering an apology. When you look up, you see one of the softest faces you’ve ever seen on a man.

“No, it’s okay. It was my fault. I walked out in front of you,” he apologizes, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. You feel Yoongi’s hand freeze in yours, and you turn to see what’s wrong. His expression is one of sheer disbelief, as if he’s seen a ghost.

“Kook?” he utters, eyes wide with unmistakable recognition.

The stranger’s eyes widen, and then he bursts into a broad smile, opening his arms to embrace Yoongi. “Hyung!” he cries, tears streaming down his face as he squeezes Yoongi so tightly you fear he might break a few bones.

“You’re alive?” Yoongi asks, happiness lacing his voice as they step back from each other.

“Yeah!” Jungkook grins, his eyes soft and proud. “I made a survivalist camp. There are a few of us here; you’re welcome to join us.”

“Wow. We looked for you after the bombs. Went to your house, but it was destroyed. I thought the worst. But fuck, I’m so glad to see you again,” Yoongi says, tears in his eyes as he hugs Jungkook again, unwilling to let go now that he’s found him.

“I was fine. I made it out before things got bad,” Jungkook says, turning his gaze towards you.

Yoongi, sensing Jungkook’s curiosity, introduces you. “This is my better half. If we could get married in this time and age, I’d call her my wife.”

You blush at his words, knowing them to be true. Officially getting married is nearly impossible now, with the risk of exposing yourselves by going into the Capital for a license. You don’t need a label to know what you mean to each other.

“Oh, how cute! You survived the apocalypse together?” Jungkook asks, still smiling as he gestures for you to follow him.

“You could say that,” you reply, smiling as Yoongi tugs you along to follow Jungkook.

Jungkook leads you through the sandy street to a larger house in better shape than the others. Out front, a few cars and a motorcycle catch your eye; their sleek, futuristic design makes you wonder if they’re from the Capital. “This way,” Jungkook says, opening the door to the big house. Inside, the air is fresh and clean, the walls a washed white, the wooden floorboards creaking under your feet.

“Welcome to Whalien52,” he announces proudly. You hear rumbling noises and turn to see a group of guys rushing out from a nearby room, stopping in their tracks when they spot you and Yoongi.

Jungkook laughs. “This is the rest of the gang,” he says, pointing to the rowdy group now chuckling among themselves. You give them a small wave.

“Our resistance group is quite small, but each of us has a different skill set that comes in handy when dealing with The New World Order. Let me introduce everyone,” Jungkook says, beaming with pride as he highlights each member.

“This is Namjoon. He handles all our tech stuff,” he says, pointing to a tall man with silver hair who smiles at you.

“Excuse me, you have tech?” you ask in disbelief. It’s been so long since you’ve seen proper technology, let alone held your phone. Speaking of which, you haven’t seen your phone in years, probably left behind when the war started.

“Yeah, we make our own,” Namjoon says with a smile.

“Anyway,” Jungkook clears his throat, “this is Jimin. He’s our stealth and assassination guy.” He points to a man about the same height as Yoongi, with pink hair.

You gulp, realizing how invaluable such a skill would be against The New World Order.

“This is Taehyung. He’s our resident handyman,” Jungkook says, introducing another tall man, this one with blue hair.

“This is Hoseok. He’s the one who plans our missions and does recon,” Jungkook continues, pointing to a man with red hair.

“And lastly,” Jungkook says, pointing to a tall man with broad shoulders and a lab coat, “this is Jin. He’s a doctor.”

The introductions settle in, each name and role adding a layer of hope and security you haven’t felt in ages. Here, amidst the cracked roads and remnants of the old world, is a pocket of resistance, a flicker of defiance against the oppressive new order. You realize this group, this place, could be the sanctuary you and Yoongi have been desperately seeking.

Your eyes almost sparkle at the mention of Jin being a doctor, and relief floods you—maybe you don’t have to keep walking in search of help.

“Nice to meet you all,” Yoongi says, waving weakly and coughing. You notice Jin raising an eyebrow and moving closer to Yoongi.

“That cough doesn’t sound normal. How long have you had it?” Jin inquires, his eyes scrutinizing Yoongi.

“Yeah. But recently it’s gotten worse,” Yoongi admits, his voice hoarse and raspy.

“Come with me. I’ll check you out,” Jin says, gesturing for Yoongi to follow him into what looks like a makeshift clinic room. Yoongi lets go of your hand, and you spot a couch nearby. Sinking into it, you're grateful to be somewhere safe, with a roof over your head. Jungkook sits beside you, explaining how his camp started as a literal campfire gathering for war survivors, evolving into a resistance when they uncovered the government's dark secrets and withheld information.

Time seems to blur as Yoongi is examined. When he finally emerges, his face is pale, eyes hollow. Panic grips you as you rush to him, grabbing his hands. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Apparently... I have cancer,” Yoongi states blankly. Tears spill down your cheeks. This is your worst fear come to life. You cling to him, shaking your head in denial.

Jin steps out, his expression somber and apologetic. “I’m sorry for the bad news. Y/N, I think we should check you too. You’ve also been exposed to radiation,” he explains. You look into Yoongi’s eyes, seeing a mix of sadness, anger, and determination.

Biting your lip, you kiss his cheek, then follow Jin into the patient room. The air feels heavy with despair, but also with a flicker of hope. Here, among these survivors, you might find a way to fight back against the darkness that has consumed your world.

Jin examines you thoroughly, running blood tests and scans with machines you haven’t seen in years—machines you thought had been lost in the war. Perhaps Namjoon built them? You don’t ask. Fear keeps you silent, dread pooling in your stomach. What if you’re sick too? What if Yoongi is going to die?

Jin finishes his tests and leads you back to Yoongi. His face is grave as he begins to speak. “Y/N has breast cancer,” he says, frustration evident in his voice.

“But I don’t feel sick,” you protest, though you know it’s futile.

“It seems to be in the early stages,” Jin assures you. You grab Yoongi’s hand, seeking comfort.

“Yoongi has thyroid cancer, and it’s more advanced,” Jin continues, finally sitting down on a stool.

“What can we do? Is there a treatment or cure?” you ask, your voice trembling. You know cancer treatments exist, but in this world, such things seem out of reach—hoarded by The New World Order.

“There is,” Jimin says, stepping forward. His pink hair contrasts sharply with the bleak surroundings. “The New World Order has a cure for cancer, but they keep it tightly guarded.”

“They only care about themselves,” Hoseok grunts, rolling his eyes in disdain.

“Those people are selfish, hoarding information and research,” Namjoon says, clenching his fists. “Information should be free, not hidden behind a paywall.”

“It’s not even a paywall, Joon,” Jungkook interjects. “It’s exclusive to the elite. They don’t care about the rest of us.”

“Can we get this cure?” you ask, your voice small and uncertain.

“We can try. We don’t agree with their methods, and this cure is crucial. Many people are suffering from cancer due to radiation exposure,” Jungkook says, his hands clenching into fists. You notice the tattoos lining them, symbols of resilience and defiance.

“This is too much to ask,” Yoongi says, shaking his head.

“No, it isn’t, hyung. I want to help you and everyone else. This is our mission, right, Jimin?” Jungkook turns to Jimin, his eyes glinting with determination.

“Yeah,” Jimin replies, his voice light but resolute. “Let’s steal the cure and save humanity.”

In that moment, hope sparks within you. This ragtag group, against all odds, might just have the courage and skill to challenge The New World Order and reclaim the future.

→ The story continues in the spinoff ‘Whalien52’ (pjm x reader) (it’s not the same reader though and Yoongi and this reader features in it)

→ Author’s note(2): I’m not entirely pleased with this sequel, because I had a hard time figuring out how much I should say, and again, I felt like most would be the same, lol— like what more can happen while the world is ending? Maybe I’m just not creative enough. I’m really in a tough spot with my writing, but I’m really trying, but I feel like everything is crap… Anyway, I think it works perfectly to set up the other part (spinoff) 🤷 Also; a big shoutout and thank you to @manipulatedstars for having the idea to make Jungkook run a survivalist camp 🥳💜

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sunbowo-o · 5 months ago

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⚠️ HoO Spoilers ⚠️

ok, so i just finished the last book from HoO and i need to say that, even though i LOVED this saga, i am kinda disappointed with the ending... and here is why:

(tbh, i don't know if these are controversial or general agreement topics, but pls be nice!)

i felt like a lot of things were missing, like, for example, WHY the hell didn't have a scene with Percy and his mother??? not even a LETTER?? 😭 my boy went missing for so long, his mum must be dying from worries and we don't even get a chapter with them both talking?? after everything Sally has done on the first saga?

another character that i felt was forgotten is Grover. tbf, i didn't expect like a whole scene with a long dialogue with him, but, how much it would cost just to say that, for example, Nico saw him, Percy and Annabeth talking together? the og trio. he deserved so much better 💔

ok, so we miss all these, but what do we get?? JASON AND PIPER KISSING! like, i understand the importance of the scene (a new begining and shit) but is not like we haven't seen it happening before, they say it was their first kiss but that part didn't had any impact on me like???? and they're just a OK couple, doesn't even gets close to that Percabeth kiss scene in the end of the last PJO book. so, yeah, was this REALLY necessary??

Leo's "death" was a really weak angst. don't get me wrong, leo is one of my favourite characters of all time, and i know some of the readers got really sad, but i didn't, because i knew he wouldn't die (ok, this was my fault maybe, but i saw that he was the one who narrates the last chapter) and we kinda of knew his plan, i knew he had the cure with him yk?

and, complementing topic 4, the last chapter being about him and Calipso was just 😐😐 like, everyone thinks he is dead, but we know he is not, so it doesn't have this weight anymore, and, then, he goes to Calipso... i know he is obsessed with her, and talk about her throughout all the book, but, why this was the last chapter??? A WHOLE SAGA SAYING ABOUT MONSTERS AND GAIA AND IT JUST END WITH TWO "TEENS" TALKING ABOUT OH YEAH WE DONT KNOW WHERE WE ARE GOING BY THE WAY

And, in the topic of monster and battle, the Gaia battle was SO DAMN BORING!!! Ok, so Rick passed 5 whole books saying to readers "hey, pay attention! they can't let Gaia wake up or else will be THE END OF THE WORLD" and we are like "ok lol" and then she wakes up and i was like "OH SHIT WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY GOING TO DO?? IS THE END!!! NOOOO!!!" ... she appears... they drag her to the sky... one explosion (and an unnecessary Octavian death) and BOOM! its over. "simple" like that. AND without any relevant deaths.

i am just angry because the end of PJO was wonderful. they had to do hard sacrifices, (Charlie), it had betrayal plot (Silena) and redemption (Silena and Luke). they had to use ALL the forces they could think of and still was a difficult battle. and the main villain was a TITAN!!!!! Gaia was supposed to be SO MUCH DIFFICULT, and yet, it was not. the giants were harder to fight.

and talking about fight. the way that the amazons and the hunters didn't appear back was so 😐😐 too. like, it seemed they were forgotten like Grover and Sally. not even a change of letters? just to guarantee they were ok...

my verdict: pjo CRUSHES hoo

anyway, i know that there's "more" but i also know that The Seven™ will not be all together again, so its just kinda of disappointment to know that was the end... feel free to also give your opinion (but try to avoid future spoilers please!)

(also, srr for my English! 🫶)

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driftveilcity · 8 days ago

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Yeeeee I was tagged by @ivy-saurs and @galariangengar to do this thank you both!!! 🩷 there was kind of a mix of questions so I did them all :D

Last song: Friday I’m in love by the cure (lol I saw the memes and listened to it)

Favorite color: Blueeeeee :) especially like a sky blue/the cerulean crayon (pink is second and green is third)

Last movie: A Charlie Brown Christmas (not a full length movie but I’m counting it because I don’t watch a ton)

Last TV show: I think it was 1000 lb Sisters lol.. i do enjoy some reality tv 🫣

Sweet/savory/spicy: SWEEET!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!

Relationship status: single and just rolling with the punches 🤷‍♀️ would like a relationship but I’m waiting for the right person/time/etc

Current obsession: pokemon scarlet and shiny hunting :3

Tea or coffee: TEA!! I’m a coffee hater and can only tolerate it if it’s been super sweetened but with tea for some reason I’ll drink just about any kind without anything added

What you’re wearing: pink sweatpants and a grey sweatshirt (confy :3)

Last thing I searched: menu for a local restaurant

Looking forward to: Chrimus

Favorite drink: I’m a lover of various lemonades and chocolate milk

Song playing on a loop in your head 24/7: right now it’s just Christmas music bc that’s what I’ve been hearing everywhere lol

Current fave character: I am rotating nemona, penny, Arven, rika and Grusha around my mind like a rotisserie chicken

Fun activity you would like to get into: crochet…… I bought needles and everything I just can’t get around to it 🥲

Last video game: take a wild guess (yeah it’s pokemon scarlet)

Last comic/graphic novel: the dog diaries on webtoon (different from the U.S.(?) book series of the same name) I really like it and it feeds into my dog obsession :)

Tattoos/piercings: just the basic ear piercing in each ear. I like the look of double helix piercings too but I can barely manage what I have LMAO I’ll take them out to clean them, forget to put them back in for a couple days, then have to push them back through sgskgs. And I’m just not personally a fan of tattoos

Dream job: Fran let’s open a cat shelter together 🤝 but literally I want to run a rescue for dogs and cats like that would be the dream. Also wildlife rehabilitation would be cool :) I just want to work with animals tbh

I’m too tired to think of anyone to tag I’m sorry but if you’re seeing this YOU 🫵 are tagged!!!

#only question I left out was last book bc unfortunately I do not read often 😭#🐱.txt

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lamperts-rokea · 3 months ago

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ABOUT THIS PAGE: please read before sending any asks!!!

Character headcanons/canons

He/him pronouns and an unlabled sexuality (canon)

6'0 (life-size lamp lol), pretty closed in for the most part (headcanon)

ADHD (canon)

He doesn't have any parents, but considers Wallter and Mark his parent figures (headcanon)

Enjoys the classics and old-timey music and fashion. Wears bowties often (canon)

He hates germs, yet loves exploring the outside world and the things/people there. (Canon)

Hates being touched, but will condone it on occasion. (Headcanon)

Has hand sanitizer on him at all times, along with other things that could come in handy in an emergency. (Headcanon)

Loves meatballs and seals more than his non-existent first born (canon, probably)

He gets easily nervous and can have panic attacks very easily if he doesn't keep his emotions under control. (Headcanon)

ROLEPLAY HEADCANONS

Lampert acts different near different people. Here's some examples:

-his relationship with his parents(Wallter and Mark) has been a bit rocky since they divorced. He believes they never should have divorced as it is likely he'll probably bring it up. Since they basically raised him, he still tries to treat them with respect.

-he's been in love with Kasper for a long time, and Kasper is the only reason Lampert keeps Infected close to him. He'll likely act nervous when he's near Infected, both due to their past and his germaphobia.

-he'd consider Split and Poob friends of a friend. He treats them with respect for the most part, but he sees Poob as a bit stupid, and Split as a bit overbearing.

-he'll try and kill unpleasant

-he would consider his relationship with Dr. RETRO completely professional, only trying to help her find a cure to the Virus. He slightly admires her work and dedication.

-For the most part, he feels neutral about Bive. He thinks she's gross and should go take multiple showers, but also he admires her dedication to her severe delusional antics.

-Lampert hates bugs, and Pest is no exception, especially since he acts like one. Pilby, on the other hand, he could probably get along with. If anything, Lampert feels bad for them. Both of them.

-prototype slightly freaks him out a bit, always scanning people and asking such personal questions. But he can handle that. What he can't handle is the fact Prototype doesn't look all that polished and pristine as robots should.

-ew ew ew Reddy red ball diner gross

-If anything, he feels sorry for Spud. His current physical issues are enough to make one gag out of sympathy, but it's also the fact that Spud is brain damaged that really makes Lampert sad for him.

Blog and ooc

My name is Skylar, but you can refer to me as Sky outside of any roleplays!

I am a MINOR.

I am transmasc and go by he/they

I fucking LOVE Evade, Pressure and Regretevator and I'm so happy about their collab

Scene kid >_<

Asks are and always will be open 24/7. I go to school and have a job, so I might not get to you right away - please be patient ‼️

Please no NSFW asks. I'm not comfortable with that.

Art requests are open, but I might not do everyone's.

OOC asks are accepted (out of character - for Instance, I speak in purple and Lampert speaks in orange.)

Please be patient with me! I'm new to Tumblr and I have never had an account before, so everything is foreign to me!

Please don't be afraid to send asks! I promise I don't bite! ^_^

#lampert #regretevator #regretevator lampert #regretevator roblox #regretevator rp blog #ask blog #ask me anything #roleplay #im tired

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neonmetro · 3 months ago

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OMG MERMAID MELODY ?????? OMG IM GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE I LOVE THAT SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH. AND SHUGO CHARA......OH BROTHER... THOSE TWO I LOVE SOOOO MUCH AS A KID BUT COULD NEVERR FIND THE TITLES FOR THEM BECAUSE I COULD ONLY FIND EPISODES ON YOUTUBE RIGHT ?? BUT HOLY SHIT MY NEW SCHOOL ACTUALLY HAS LIKE 10 FUCKING BOOKS OF SHUGO CHARA IM THEIR LIBRARY AND I LOST MY SHIT OVER IT ( I'm literally such a die hard for Shugo chara I'm so glad someone shares the love for it like I do )

IM PRECURE WAS LITERALLY MY LIFE I FEAR.........I've watched every single one and ohhh boy 😭😭😭😭 AND IVE WANTED THE TOYS SINCE I WAS LITTLE.....BUT THEIR SO EXPENSIVE ONLINE !!!!!!! *shakes fist in the sky* BUT GLITTER FORCE WAS DEFINITELY INTERESTING ? SO SAY THE LEAST LMAO *cries*

I remember when I first watched madoka magica......God bless I cried so much ( I still loved it though ) I tried to watch it a second time and completely forgot my little sister was in the room LMAO and had to turn it off because she got scared 😞😞😞😞

But another mahou shojo I LOVE TO DEATH is Ojamajo doremi. THAT TOOK UP ALOT OF MY CHILDHOOD......I JUST LOVE THE WAY THEY TRANSFORMMMMM THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING IS SO AWESOME AND JUST SO...RAHHHHHH

I also have the card captor sakura Clow cards sitting in my room rn.....( and up to book 6 of sailor moon ) I stare at it everyday THEIR SO PRETTY. I also have sailor moon figures and I sailor moon.... GUYS, I THINK PARIS ANON LIKE MAGICAL GIRL....!!!!!

while I'm on this may, I recommend some precure you might like based on other magical girl shows you seem interested in.......

Star twinkle precure - I LOVE THIS ONE SOOOO MUCH.....it's about a girl who meets an alien girl, and it's so sweet *wipes tear in yuri* the way they transform is to DIEEE FOR. they draw out their transformations while singing, and it's AWESOME they also collect zodiac pins and can transform into said Zodiac :3

Go ! Princess Precure - this one kinda reminded me of pitchi pitchi mermaid melody for some reason.....probably because theirs a mermaid cure but ANYWAYS it's about a girl who goes to an elite school and it's so awesome, especially with the princess theme

Kira Kira al a mode - this one is about food.....which is so awesome it's about how food provides happiness and if you don't put love into the food you make then the world becomes sad....( they also run a cafe similar to Tokyo mew mew ) they are also based on animals :3

Heart catch - that one is always everyone's favorite, and I swear anyone who has watched precure has recommended this one first. It's honestly just peak

I COULD RECOMMEND THE WHOLE FRANCHISE BUT.......THANK YOU NEON I LOVE RANTING ABOUT MAGICAL GIRLS.....

-paris anon

SHUGO CHARA LEGIT CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY. THE SHEER STYLE AND TOPICS THAT THEY DELVE INTO (that aren't about that fuck ass emo cat) ARE DONE SO WELL....

PRECURE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD 😢😭😭😭 i really need to watch it but idk if it has a dub and my little goldfish needs it to be dub otherwise i get bored.... (so um. that's why i watched glitter force .)

THE TOYS ARE GENUINELY SO COOL LIKE i got 4 big ones but these are the ones i can immediately find)

YEAH THAT'S THE UNFORTUNATE PART OF PMMM YOU WILL IN FACT GET TRAUMATIZED IF YOU'RE TOO YOUNG AND BE SCARED OF PEAK...

OHHH I SAW DOREMI BEFORE .... tbh taiwan has so much gacha of it ??? didn't know it was so popular there but their designs are sooo cutes

SAILOR MOON COVERS IS GENUINELY SO PEAK. i got a random assortment...?? idk i also got 2 vols of the japanese ver but their covers are of my fav characters so its so awesome

OHHH MY GOD SAILOR MOON FIGURES...... THAT SOUNDS SO AWESOMEEE SAKURA MERCH IS SOOO PRETTYYYY like how do they do it. what crack cocaine do they feed those merch artists

been thinking about getting some bc i just rewatched crystal but also I Don't Think I Have The Room for more figures lol...

I'LL DEF HAVE TO CHECK THESE SHOWS OUTTTTT TY PARIS ANON FOR THE RECOMMENDATIONS!!!! houghhgg you got me at mermaid and zodiac i am a SUCKER for that stuff I NEED MORE FRILLY MAGICAL GIRLS I'VE BEEN DEPRIVED OF IT FOR TOO LONG (RIPS OFF MY SHIRT

(QUICK EDIT I JUST READ THE 2ND ASK)

OFCCC I LOVE HEARING OTHER PEOPLE RANT ABOUT MAHOU SHOUJO ITS SO NICE TO TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT THIS AWESOME GENRE.......

#ask #neon tedtalks #long post

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dropout-if · 1 year ago

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hiiii! If youre still answering for the asks; ❤️🌟 🎵 📸 for everyone? have a nice day/night! 🫶

Hi!! Hope you have a nice day/night too^^

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

Jade/Jean- Receiving: Physical touch. Giving: Quality time. Organizing their partner's schedule in their stead, leaving behind little notes (very ooc messages they would never dare to say out loud). Taking their partner out. Anywhere.

Uma- Receiving: Quality time. Giving: Physical touch. Holding hands, hugging, stolen kisses. Drawing their partner and for their partner

Statler- Receiving: Words of affirmation. Giving: Acts of service. Remembering each and every appointment, going out of their way to ease whatever burden their partner has.

Wanda- Receiving: Quality time. Giving: Words of affirmation. The most shameless declarations of love and affection. Late night confessions, sharing secrets with her partner. Impromptu dates.

Kai- Receiving: Physical touch. Giving: Gifts. Very casual and poorly thought tokens of affection, small trinkets: t-shirts, bracelets, etc. Photographs themselves and their s/o together.

Travis- Receiving: Acts of service. Giving: Quality time. Seeing his partner after hours, walking them home, making as much time as possible to text his s/o, taking them to secret and private places.

🌟 GLOWING STAR - what do they think about when they look at the night sky? is there someone they want to star gaze with?

Jade/Jean- thinks about the future, and the path ahead. When that eventually turns into a repetition, J contemplates their past decisions and whether they've made the right choices. The beauty of it would go over their head, so they'd want to watch it with someone who could appreciate it for them. Or just MC.

Uma- loves stargazing and getting lost in the beauty of the night sky. They'd like to value the moment for what it is, and would be very inspired. Uma likes stargazing by themself, but they also like having a friend with them, especially MC and Travis after rekindling their relationship.

Statler- their mind is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Statler reflects on everything and anything, they tend to overthink so they prefer to avoid quiet moments. They'd love to share the moment with someone who could keep their mind occupied, atm Noir and later on MC.

Wanda- loves nature and stars and sees the night sky as a canvas for adventure and excitement. She may think about new experiences and opportunities. It's a moment Wanda would like to share with Gabi.

Kai- Liv has dragged then once or twice to stargaze. When in idleness, Kai tends to get swallowed by their own mind. They like thinking of the world, of themself and the people around them. It doesn't mix well with Liv, who can't shut up lol. Kai would want to share the moment with someone silently.

Travis- often dislikes idle moments, so Travis would try very hard to make the moment purposeful. He'd contemplate strategies, plans, and ways to overcome challenges. He'd like the moment to be his, or otherwise with someone who could appreciate the quietness.

🎵 MUSIC NOTE - what is their playlist like? their favourite artists? do you associate a particular song with them?

Jade/Jean- they have a few playlists: one for writing (movie ost), one for the gym (basically very 80s and very motivational) and one with their favorite songs. J leans to relaxing music, especially old classics. Their favorites are Frank Sinatra and Elvis Costello.

I mostly associate them with any Taylor Swift breakup song lol (The Story of Us and Back to December mostly).

Uma- has a few playlists with hours and hours of music, though they always end up listening to the same one regardless of the situation. Uma loves alternative and indie music. Their favorites are Garbage and The Cure.

I associate with Billy Idol's Dancing with Myself idk why. Vibes^^

Statler- has many playlists that remind them of people and important moments in their life. They rotate depending on their mood. They're mostly pop and pop rock. Statler loves Taylor Swift and Mitski.

I'll Cover You (Reprise) from Rent often makes me think of them.

Wanda- has a single playlist filled with all kinds of music. It's honestly a big mess. Wanda can't really commit to a favorite artist, she likes almost all kinds of music.

Vivir Así Es Morir de Amor (Nathy Peluso's version) I've been holding back from mentioning songs in Spanish but I can't resist with Wanda.

Kai- doesn't bother with a playlist, they just like tons of songs and listen to that. It's not as messy as Wanda's because Kai tends to be very picky when it comes to basically everything. They love punk, punk rock and grunge. Their favorites include The Clash and The Gits.

I've always associated Doja Cat with Kai fsr (especially Streets).

Travis- prefers saving playlists instead of creating his own. Travis is really into dad rock😭 it's what he mostly listens to. Also has a lofi playlist for work. Travis'favorites are Pink Floyd and The Velvet Underground.

Mitski's Working for The Knife is pretty Travis-coded.

📸 CAMERA - do they enjoy having their picture taken? what's their go-to pose? do they like taking photos? what do they take photos of?

Jade/Jean- isn't the most enthusiastic about having their picture taken, but they'd likely prefer a confident and composed pose (a coy smile and a relaxed posture). J isn't really into taking photos, though they sometimes like photographing Downtown Heights. They also appreciate capturing meaningful moments, like family gatherings or achievements.

Uma- is quite comfortable in front of the camera. Uma is a bit awkward when it comes to posing, they prefer to be photographed painting or tattooing. They enjoy taking photos of nature, their artwork/work, or candid shots of friends.

Statler- is very photogenic and doesn't mind having their picture taken. They would choose a warm and inviting pose, possibly with an arm around a friend or loved one. Statler likes taking photos of friends, their partner, and family to preserve memories.

Wanda- loves being the center of attention in photos. Her go-to pose is something fun, spontaneous, and flirtatious. Wanda enjoys photography and frequently takes selfies and candid shots with friends.

Kai- isn't particularly interested in having their picture taken, but when they do, their pose could be casual and nonchalant. Kai loves loves loves photography no matter the subject. They are especially fond of artsy and experimental pics.

Travis- hates having his picture taken. If he does pose, it's be something composed and serious. Travis enjoys taking photos as a way to document information or for practical purposes rather than for personal enjoyment.

#dropout if #dropout #ask #ask game #ros #j gray #kai alofa #statler amani #travis camaro #uma bharat #wanda pavon

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wutheringheightsfilm · 1 month ago

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I would love to hear your opinion on Viktor Arcane's arc in season 2 because I have seen people praising it and people hating it but not many people discussing the ableism of [spoilers!!] basically killing him in the first episode and then having Jayce bring him back against his will in a way that strips his physical and mental autonomy away, after season 1 spent the majority of his arc hyping the evils of Messing With The Arcane But Only When The Zaunites Do It, so that Viktor can realize he is in the moral wrong for trying to not die from the disease he got from growing up in the underclass. And the show fridges his lab assistant (also implied from Zaun) to teach him this. Jayce who has so far primarily reaped the benefits of selling Hextech to Piltover, is the one to "learn" that it's bad to mess with the Arcane (this coincidentally happens the only time we see him physically in Zaun) and the solution is of course [spoilers!!] kill Viktor, who's magically curing addiction and disability and possessing people now. And if they bring Viktor back it will probably be because Singed pulled a Rio on him. On top of this, Ekko is just fucking gone during the occupation of Zaun and we don't see him again for the entire Act. Sorry for the rant in your inbox I'm just really happy to find someone else who thinks Arcane sucks aside from the dropped potential of the side characters. Fans of OG Lore were looking forward to Viktor's political radicalization against Piltover. Hilarious to think they would ever do that in hindsight

Okay hi anon I'm finally caught up and can answer you now LOL

yeah the politics of arcane are bad. like incredibly so. it's kind of shocking to say that the best arcane can pull is like, hamfisted liberalism.

i think jayce has literally always been ableist towards viktor as well as classist and not once has he ever had to grapple with that. jayce is my least favorite character and if he doesn't even get some sort of comeuppance for the absolute destruction he's caused i'm going to eat my shoe. though i will say this is the second time we've seen him in zaun, the first time was when he literally murdered one of silco's child laborers lol and had...right, zero repercussions for that because as it turns out of course it was ambessa's plan all along and everything has been somehow engineered by her. oh i was soooo eye rolling when that was revealed.

i also really didn't like sky's death either; i'm glad they kept her in some aspect (like being with viktor in the arcane-space or whatever it's called i don't know i don't go to league of legends) but imo her death was unnecessary and there would have been a better way of getting viktor entwined in the arcane than that.

it's crazy to me that you're absolutely right; viktor has to constantly pay the price for trying to not die of a disease he had no choice in getting (not that anyone ever has a choice in getting a disease, but you know what i mean) and he literally gets killed for trying to help heal other people. which i mean you could definitely argue the whole jesus arc for viktor is strange (it is) and this show definitely has negative attitudes towards both addiction and disability no matter what. i'm not disabled so really i don't have much space to speak here, but i absolutely do think this show is ableist.

THE FACT THAT EKKO IS GONE IS SO? like where's my man???? he was literally gone the whole fucking time and i find that so fucking nasty i'm sorry. both mel and ekko, two of the most fascinating characters, have been shoved aside this entire season in order to make way for jayce's constant bullshit and whatever problems poor cop caitlyn has. when i say i have never given less of a fuck about caitlyn i truly do mean that. it honestly upsets me that caitvi or whatever is as popular as it is because i thought we all collectively decided we don't fuck with cops. but i suppose not

and it's totally okay for the rant in my inbox!!! please feel free to discuss however much you want from me, i have had so many negative feelings about this show and i'm starting to feel like i'm going to get killed in the town square for it LOL

ETA: i didn't even know viktor was supposed to get radicalized against piltover. oh what we could've had

#vero.txt #t #vero watches arcane #< for those who have that blocked #asks #arcane spoilers #arcane season 2 spoilers #arcane s2 spoilers #< i hope that covered my bases. sorry!

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riacte · 10 months ago

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okay hi I just read everything you have for the precure au and I genuinely love all of it so much

consider: minor arc where wet cat (artic fox like fairy from the mascot kingdom?) etho turns up in the human world because he exploded a contraption he made so hard he blasted off into the sky team rocket style and this somehow leads to the cures establishing some kind of connection to the mascot world (similar to what happens with the skyland portal in hirogaru sky) and it helps gem, ren, and iskall with some of their stress (lol) about the whole situation (perhaps this causes an angst arc for pearl? because now shes the only one who cant see her loved ones?)

HIIII YESSS thanks for reading the posts 🥺💖

Pathetic washed up Etho… I’ve been turning this over in my head. It’s a nice way to include a new character + establish a connection between the Hermit Kingdom and the human world bc it’s been one way so far.

Having some pre-existing mascot dynamics would be soo fun. Gem and Etho being friends and sparring. Prince Ren happily running around Bdubs. Xisuma sorting out palace affairs with a 🙂 on his face. But then everything changed when the Corporation attacked 😔

Also re: Pearl, I’ve been kind of bullshitting the villains because I’m not going to put any hermit into the role of a “true” villain, because the real villain is capitalism/corporations/art theft etc. Doc is the only one who’s kind of established, and he’s like… a retired member of the Corporation and he doesn’t gaf now and farms his tomatoes. But he still knows Pearl soo yeah. I feel bad for Pearl :(

Thanks for the ask! :D

#ask box #answered #precure au

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laf-outloud · 2 years ago

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I’m not totally ready to write Jensen off as an actor or a person, yet. But, his fans are so ridiculous it makes me like him less to spite them. I can’t help it. It’s like a instinctive response, like the Destiel or Cockles effect, for me. The fans are so idiotic that I can’t stand the mention of either stupid ship. Well, Jensen’s fans are so simpering it makes me care less when he does do something good.

But back to the point, the bar of amazement for them is set so low, literally, he can converse with more than one person at a time, at a con, which he’s being doing for more than ten years, regularly, and it’s a wonder to them.

He listens to others and prepares to respond???

WHAT!? HOW?!

Is he a witch??

OMG, He. Is. PERFECT!!

Like, please stop wetting your panties over the simplest things? I’m a teacher, so I do what Jensen did while thinking about a question. AND I listen for grammar errors at the same time. Where is MY award? 🙄

I find this all especially annoying because these same people who are fascinated and awed by Jensen's every sniffle, downplay Jared's actually impressive achievements. "He works near home, he stayed on the CW, he produced a show to give himself a job, he only made a spinoff because Jensen did…etc.". Jared could cure cancer and adopt a hundred orphans, and they’d ignore it or try to make it a negative. Then Jensen would put a bandaid on his own kid, and they’d be campaigning to get him a Nobel peace prize or whatever the medical equivalent is.

Make these dummies make sense.

You're not the only one his fans are alienating! There have been some annoyed fans of other projects (like The Boys, and Big Sky), who also find the AAs over-the-top, 'the-savior-has-arrived' praise incredibly off-putting, and frankly, insulting to all the other creators who were there before Jensen ever arrived.

"Jared could cure cancer and adopt a hundred orphans, and they’d ignore it or try to make it a negative. Then Jensen would put a bandaid on his own kid, and they’d be campaigning to get him a Nobel peace prize or whatever the medical equivalent is." So much this! I think they set the bar so low for Jensen so that he literally cannot disappoint them, but then set the bar so high for Jared that everything he does disappoints them (thereby reaffirming Jensen's supposed superiority).

And can I just say, in all seriousness, thank you for all of your hard work and willingness to be a teacher. It's an incredibly tough job, and often thankless, so, while this isn't tangible, please accept this digital award for all the work you do to guide the young minds in your care!

(And please forgive any grammatical mistakes. LOL!)

#ask box #anti aas #anti jensen worship #anti jared hate #teacher support #because there aren't enough awards for the work they do

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bergeronprocess · 1 year ago

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My 2023 In Anime

Ah, 2023. What a year! According to my Anime Planet custom 2023 list, I watched 20 anime this year. A couple of them I haven’t finished yet and a couple of them are DNF. As the year dwindles down to its final days, I’m gonna take a look back at what anime I watched in 2023. Beware of spoilery discussion for all of the tagged shows.

Sorted by season and then in the order they appear on my list.

Winter 2023

Nijiyon Animation: Nijigasaki is my favorite flavor of Love Live (it’s the first one I watched, I like the characters a lot, the songs are great and there’s literally a girl also named Emma in the cast) and so I will never say no to more Niji. Cute fun bite-sized episodes. There was even a touching farewell to Tomori Kusunoki as Setsuna. I just saw that they’re going to do a second season, so I’m looking forward to that.

The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague: Holy crap, this show was a pretty little nothingburger. Literally NOTHING happened aside from the characters becoming friends. The two leads didn’t even kiss?!?! I wanted to see how they might handle that - the idea of people who are imbued with yokai powers is a neat one, but oof. This was unsatisfying.

UniteUp!: My dark horse favorite of the season, a bishonen idol show that dealt with some of the more realistic/uglier aspects of fame and the idol industry specifically. There were some production delays (that’s the story of 2023 across the industry, isn't it?) but I actually really enjoyed how they handled those - they showed these neat behind the scenes episodes with the voice actors. I love behind the scenes. The characters have a lot of heart, the songs were really good and the dancing looked excellent too. I think this is getting a second season too? If so, I’m thrilled to spend more time in this world.

Handyman Saitou in Another World: I actually watched an isekai! Holy shit! But it wasn’t one of those lazy paint-by-numbers isekai shows that are just a dime a dozen. I like how it showed Saitou using his skills (undervalued in our world) to get stuff done in the high fantasy world he found himself in after a Truck-kun situation. There WAS a bit too much fanservice for my liking - I’m a sports fan, so I’m used to that “oof, as a cis woman I am NOT the target demo here” feeling lol, but still - and I feel like they did a few too many “he’s dead! But not really because magic!” fake-outs. But hey! Ai Fairouz was in the cast here! I like her!

Buddy Daddies: OHHH did I enjoy this one. Great music, I love Kazuki and Rei, you could tell there was someone on the staff who is a gearhead based on how they portrayed cars, Miri is great, lol at how they overcome bureaucracy crime-style…Tumblr loved this one and with good reason. Also I definitely ship those two guys lol. The one downside is I feel like they kinda fridged Kazuki’s wife and Miri’s mom. They could’ve done a bit better by their adult female characters. I do still get the opening song stuck in my head now and again, though.

Soaring Sky/Hirogaru Sky Precure: Folks, this is the year I got Precurepilled. I tried Delicious Party last year but bounced off of it after episode 1 - it just didn’t hit for me somehow - but this one GOT ME! This is still ongoing and will be through the end of January (50 episodes y’all!), so I can’t speak with finality about it, but so far so good. The first boy Cure! The first adult Cure! She drives a Hummer for some reason lol! I think Mashiro is my favorite! It’s been so much fun to theorize about the story (I was SO wrong about Yoyo being Sora’s hero from her childhood, ha…) and watch it unfold. I do think they waited a bit too long to bring in the Kaiserin storyline, but hey, we’ll get a few more episodes to wrap everything up, right? As for Wonderful Precure, I don’t know lol the concept isn’t getting me hyped up, but I will at least watch episode 1 and go from there.

Spring 2023

Kira Kira Precure A La Mode: Still the only Precure season I’ve completed to date lol. This one was so much fun. I love sweets and baking, so I had great fun here, sometimes even shouting at the TV to try to help Ichika with her doomed bakes when she inevitably forgot baking powder or whatever. When I realized that Ciel had literally been in the opening credits since episode 1, that blew my mind lol. I DO wish they would’ve just let Julio become the first boy Cure, but hey, he walked so Cure Wing could fly. Himari is baby and Akira/Yukari is Haruka/Michiru for the 2010s. Aoi’s band made some good music. The very last scene was very sweet. Both ending songs are total earworms. Good stuff.

Skip and Loafer: This show is SO FREAKING CUTE. I just love these goofballs. I love how Nao-chan is able to just be herself and is not subjected to transphobia all the time. Mitsumi is adorable and also extremely relatable. I liked this one so much that I’ve started to read the manga, picking up where the anime left off. (2023 is also the year that Atlanta got a Kinokuniya location, which is very exciting for me, though maybe less so for my credit card lmao.) Season 2 pls? I would love to spend more time here.

Gundam The Witch from Mercury Season 2: Damn, this show needed at least one more season. Preferably two more. I was fully expecting 50 episodes like what Gundam Wing got lol. It needed more time to breathe, to show us more about the other characters (Lilique my beloved!) and to flesh out the big story. But alas, this is not a perfect world, and what we got was still pretty damn good, and also Sulemio married. That’s my interpretation. That's everyone's interpretation, isn't it?

Star Twinkle Precure: I’m still working on this one, but I FREAKING LOVE IT. The day-glo 80s aesthetic is right up my damn alley, I adore the transformation sequences, we get dark-skinned biracial representation with Cure Soleil, I enjoy reading the horoscopes at the end of each episode (my Japanese is at about a preschool level, so it’s great that everything has furigana lol), there’s space stuff AAAAAND this season has my very favorite Precure song ever. One of the only two so far to be in a minor key, folks, it’s PaPePiPu Romantic time.

youtube

I now have a new goal: sing this bad boy at karaoke someday. Pew pew! Pew pew pew!

Summer 2023

Yohane the Parhelion: I enjoyed Love Live Sunshine a lot, but phew, this didn’t do it for me. I feel like it would’ve been better as a 3 or 4 episode OVA (ONA these days I guess), but just didn’t have enough story for a full 13 episode season. My mom is fond of saying “just okay”...like, it wasn’t amazing, but it wasn’t awful either. Yohane the Parhelion is just okay. Please just watch Sunshine instead if you want to be introduced to these characters. Sunshine is so much better.

Zom 100: I watched the first episode of this and then didn’t bother with the rest. DNF. Sorry to hear about the production troubles - that’s especially ironic for this show.

Fall 2023

MF Ghost: The other DNF for me. Watched 3 episodes, heard they were about to introduce a character who is obsessed with 17-year-old girls, noped the hell outta there. Wasn’t impressed with the 3 episodes either. I love Initial D - we named our cat Hachi because she’s black and white just like the Hachiroku - but MF Ghost just had no heart or soul. The Toyota 86 was lovingly rendered but I hated the ugly black motion lines they added when it was moving. The race they showed was dreadfully boring, the worldbuilding felt extremely unrealistic and oooh did I HATE that “outfit” they put our underage race queen in, if you can even call that an outfit.

Overtake: Of the two car racing shows this season, Overtake absolutely wins. It looks great, it introduces F4 racing to the audience very well (there’s some show, there’s some tell, a good blend) and the characters have more heart in their pinky fingernails than the entire cast of MF Ghost combined. There’s a very real and affecting subplot about PTSD, realistic discussion of just how much racing costs for an amateur team and plenty of men being unafraid to feel their feelings and cry it out. Overtake is definitely on the top of the podium. It hasn’t gotten anywhere near the love it deserves - ANN didn’t do weekly reviews of it and Anime Feminist was hyperfocused on the lack of female characters (valid! But not a dealbreaker to me!) - so I hope that people discover it later.

Shy: Thank goodness this is getting a season 2 because we spent literally a quarter of the season focused on the Pepesha and her mother subplot. That could’ve been tightened up a bit - ANN’s review mentions how Amarariruku’s villain speeches tend to be very circular, which is exactly how I felt seeing Lenya explain herself for what felt like the 50th time over - and I was genuinely looking at the episode count like “uhh??!?” before the season 2 news came out. So other than that part being a bit too drawn out, though, this is a very interesting show with a cool concept (Teru experiences Personal Growth! We are so proud of her!) and I’m interested in seeing where it goes from here. Will we meet the USA’s hero next season? I kinda want to see who that might be.

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer: Ai Fairouz is in the cast of this one too, so maybe she’s just what needs to be present for me to watch an isekai/high fantasy show? I did enjoy this one, even though the action scenes were a little bit lacking, perhaps above the skill level of the animators. They did do lovely watercolor-like scenery shots, though. The characters are charming (Belgrieve, total DILF, also giving us disability representation) and the opening song is a bop. They did leave the door open for a season 2 - for example, the question of Ange’s parentage was never answered, although it is VERY heavily implied that she is also a demon. I mean, the little demon kid Belgrieve takes in at the end literally looks exactly like her, for crying out loud.

Spy x Family Season 2: Haven’t finished this one yet - I want to watch it with my husband because he also likes it and we’ve just had a lot of stuff going on! We have watched 4 episodes, which means we’ve watched a bunch of one-off side stories basically lol. He even remarked at some point that the episodes felt weird. I was like “Well, because they’re only side stories!” From what I have read, it sounds like things are about to pick up plot-wise, so we gotta just make some time to catch up soon lol.

Power of Hope/Kibou no Chikara Otona Precure 23: I have not seen ANY of the Precure series that have characters appearing here, so I came in fresh. This was enjoyable! I was originally bummed that we didn’t get to see them transform as adults, but the age reversion to transform was done for big story reasons and made perfect sense in that context. The episode that showed how the town was devastated by firebombing in World War II was deeply affecting - war is hell, no wonder Bell was changed by it - and it was great to see Cure Black and Cure White turn up. It reminded me of all the companions coming together at the end of Doctor Who season 4. Total fan catnip, I love it. I have not seen Mahotsukai Precure either, so I’ll be going into their sequel fresh too. (Is that what was being teased at the very very end of episode 12? Yeah probably lol)

16bit Sensation Another Layer: My winner for best show of this season. As you may have gathered from my mention of Doctor Who just now, I like time travel stories, so “Listen, Konoha Akisato has come unstuck in time” appealed to me right away. This show also genuinely taught me things about computer game development. I have a deepened respect for PC-98 game art (I follow such accounts on here now lol), which would surely make Mamoru smile. Plus, I like how it has a core message of “You can be a woman who works on erotic video games and that is not weird or perverted. Follow your dreams!” Toya does, after all - I would have loved to see her team up with Konoha and it sucks that she was being manipulated by the evil company. The show did take a turn for the Matrix-y in the fourth quarter, and I do feel episode 13 was a bit rushed (Konoha opens Comic Party and then is just immediately back in 2023? She and Mamoru explain how they told everyone about being time travelers instead of us getting to see that reaction?), but dammit, I teared up at the very end anyway. What a show!

Magic User’s Club OVA: I remember renting videotapes of this from Blockbuster way back in the day, but I didn’t remember much about the show itself, so I decided to watch it again after seeing this AnimeBackWhen video about it. It’s so fun and charming! And Ikuko Itou designed the characters and Junichi Satou is the director - a bit of a Sailor Moon reunion lol. (Fun fact I learned just now is Chiaki J. Konaka did the screenplay. This is very very different from his work on Serial Experiments Lain.) I’m not done with it yet. The opening song is a big ole bop!

2024 goals:

Finish Star Twinkle Precure

Watch Gunbuster (another "I rented it from Blockbuster during the Clinton administration" story - I bought Discotek's new Blu-Ray of it, just haven't cracked it open yet lol)

Continue to enjoy seasonal anime!

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ryujiinxx · 1 year ago

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Burdens(Catformers Fanfiction)

[Somewhat Mirage x Noah? Not really sure!!]

Summary: Miragestripe visits Noah in twolegplace to try and get his mind off of everything going on back at camp, but the guilt and grief over losing Bumblebee won't leave him.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: angst, potentially terrible and/or unorganized writing lol i havent written stuff like this in a while

A/N: hi!!! so this is based off of a clangen session that me, @/faintv0x, and @/javatello did a while back!!! as stated in a previous ask from a wip of this that i posted, the events here were randomly generated but conveniently in a way that lined up in our favor for content purposes. miragestripe is a warrior, son of optimusprime, brother to arceelight and bumblebee(who are all also warriors of transformerclan, yes very creative name i know /sar), and adoptive father of bumblebees son sidekit(later named sideswipe bc of the robots in disguise show). noah is a kittypet!! i havent done creative writing in some time but i did the best that i could on this; i hope you guys like it.

Miragestripe and Noah were laid in the grass, staring up at the vast dark sky full of stars. Monsters roared past in the distance, their lights adding a golden glow to their faces every now and then. Kris had gone off chasing a field mouse far from where the two sat down, leaving them alone. They were both silent, save for the initial “How have things been?” and a short, dry response. Noah knew that something was up - Miragestripe was never this quiet. He always had a smile on his face or some joke to tell, even when something bothered him. So what was going on?

“Yo, Mirage,” Noah prodded the other’s side to get his attention. “I know you didn’t come out here to stargaze. Something’s bothering you, what’s up?

Miragestripe looked almost startled before his usual snarky grin painted his face. “Me? Bothered? Please, if it’s not by your weird twolegplace smell then I don’t know what would have me bothered!”

He let out a blatantly faked snort before settling back into his spot, his forced smile soon fading from his face again as he looked away. Something was definitely off with him. Noah knew Miragestripe’s behaviors like the back of his paw, he could almost predict them. He had seen his friend after difficult times before, but that was nothing like this at all. He almost looked dejected, like he was waiting for something worse to suddenly happen; worse than whatever bad thing was already making him so distressed.

“Hey, look at me. C’mon.” Noah was worried. “You know you can talk to me about anything. Whether you’re stressed out from whatever duties you’ve got back home or if you’ve got trouble with someone, you can tell me about it. You don’t gotta carry yourself some kind of way around me.”

Noah looked at Miragestripe with a gentle smile, and Miragestripe nearly lost himself in the other’s eyes. He trusted him. He knew he was safe here with him, but that wasn’t what he was worried about. He was worried about losing himself in his own thoughts. After all that had happened back home, he just wanted an escape - especially if that escape was someone he cared about.

Miragestripe finally sighed and gave in. “Thanks, man. It’s just … been a lot. Everything’s been a lot in the past moon.”

“What happened?” Noah asked.

“The clan hasn’t been doing great. At all, really. Besides the usual nonsense going on between clans, we had an outbreak. Lots of cats got sick. I mean I didn’t, but … I’m lucky I was even able to avoid it.”

Although Noah had faced plenty of his own struggles before in the twolegplace, he couldn’t fathom the burden of trying to support over twenty cats in the elements of nature - much less during an illness outbreak - with never a promise of food or safety or cure from disease. He was amazed that Miragestripe seemed so used to this, but also felt extremely sorry for him. To Miragestripe, the weight of his whole forest world was on his shoulders right now.

“Jeez … I’m so sorry. How many cats made it out alive?” Noah asked.

Miragestripe winced. “Some did. Plenty didn’t. Greencough is hard to beat if your body isn’t strong enough. Whether you’re too young, too old, underweight, It’ll prolly kill you. I’m surprised Optimusprime and Sidekit didn’t get it, I mean Optimus is old old, like, almost 200 moons probably. And Sidekit doesn’t have the strength to fight off illness yet at his age.”

Noah watched Miragestripe shift uncomfortably for a few moments. He could tell that there was something else on his mind, something that he was hesitant to share. ’What isn’t he telling me?’ Noah wondered to himself. He moved a bit closer, but kept enough space between them for Miragestripe to not feel too cramped. “Listen, at least you’ve still got your folks, right? I know your whole clan means a lot to you, but your family? That bond’s the tightest of all. It’s good that you guys stuck it through and supported the clan together.”

Suddenly, Miragestripe turned away with a grimace. “Right,” he replied coldly.

That was off. “Hey, what’s that look supposed to mean?” Noah asked, concerned. “You guys did stick it through just fine, right?”

“I don’t wanna talk about the Greencough anymore, Noah.” Miragestripe snarled.

“Dude, something’s bothering you, and it’s gonna keep bothering you unless you tell someone about it. I don’t know how this stuff works in the clans, but up here you don’t have to act like you can’t say something when you’re around me-”

“Bumblebee’s dead, okay?! He’s gone, the sickness took him, and I watched him suffer until his very last moments!”

Miragestripe had stood up and was breathing hard, filled with tension and grief. Noah looked up at him first in fear, then his face held a sorrowful expression.

“You know what else?” Miragestripe continued his rant. “I could have done something. I could have helped him, I could have made a difference. Sure, maybe he wouldn’t still be alive, but at least I wouldn’t be here messing around with some clueless kittypet and his little brother and telling him how I fucked up!”

Noah was taken aback, but held his tongue and let his fur fall flat before he could retaliate. Miragestripe was hurting, he didn’t mean everything that he said. Noah held his gaze until Miragestripe realized what he had just said and took a step back. “I’m sorry, I-” he stammered. “Forget about it, where’s Kris gone off to now-”

“Miragestripe, sit down. It’s okay,” Noah reassured him. “I’m so sorry … I had no idea.”

“And now you do,” Miragestripe sighed, laying back down. “Sorry for goin’ postal on you. I just …”

Miragestripe had to take a moment. Noah had never seen him this broken, it was almost scary. “I don’t know what else to do, Noah. Arceelight’s gone, and now Bumblebee’s gone too. All I have left is Optimusprime and Sidekit, and who knows how long that’ll be for? Optimus has got one paw in Starclan already, it’s a matter of time before I lose him too. I don’t know if I can take on caring for Bee’s only kit.”

It was quiet between the two. Noah wanted to listen more than speak; he knew this was difficult. A cat can only handle so much tragedy at once, and Miragestripe had seen too much. Watching cats of his clan succumb to disease, including his own brother? The responsibilities and guilt piled up bit by bit, and soon it would completely break him down.

“I should have done more,” Miragestripe sniffled, his voice hoarse.

“What do you mean?” Noah asked.

“I should have tried harder to help. I should have been there, going with the medicine cats every day to gather more supplies to take care of him and the others who were sick. Maybe just one outing, one lucky find could have saved him. He’d be here, bouncing around making his funny little noises, and he’d get to see his son grow up.”

Noah curled his tail around Miragestripe’s and looked into his eyes. “Mirage, you did everything you were supposed to do, and so did everyone else. Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do. It hurts more than anything, but that’s how life is. You can’t control it, but the important thing is that you did your best - just like you always do for your clan. ”

“Noah, you don’t get it,” Miragestripe protested. “What I was ‘supposed’ to do wasn’t enough, and thats beside the fact that I already suck with responsibility. Y’know, every time I make a stupid mistake or something goes wrong I get all guilty and then go on with my day not having learned a damn thing. I don’t change. I never do. I know Optimusprime is disappointed in me under all that exhaustion and grief, and I can’t blame him.”

“But you can’t blame yourself for losing Bumblebee,” Noah tried to comfort him. “You can’t blame yourself for any of this. It’s not your fault, even if shit looks that way.”

Miragestripe looked away. “I have to. I don’t really got much of a choice here.”

An awkward silence filled the air for a few minutes as neither cat knew what to say. Maybe Noah really didn’t understand. After all, he was just a kittypet. Maybe everything that Miragestripe told him was bigger and more complicated than he’d ever know. This clan cat could tell him every story he remembered, explain his day in thorough detail, and maybe Noah would still just have to experience it to truly know what clan responsibilities are like. Or maybe his friend was just so grief-stricken that he needed something to make sense of everything, even if the weight of it dragged him down like a log attached to his tail.

After a while of sitting there, Miragestripe lifted himself to his paws. “I should go,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have came out here for so long. I can’t leave Optimus to take care of Sidekit alone, anyway.”

Noah reached a paw out, but took it back, not knowing what to say. As Kris began to return in the distance from a fruitless pursuit, Miragestripe trekked through the grass back home, leaving the two alone to make their own trip back to their twoleg nest. ‘I wish I knew what you were going through, man.’ Noah watched Miragestripe’s figure disappear into the brush before looking up into the night sky. ‘Maybe if I did, I could take just a bit of that pain away. Help you pick yourself up and keep going. Bee would want that for you, wouldn’t he?’

#maccadams #transformers #clangen #warriors fanclan #warriors fanfic #warrior cats #bumblebee #mirage #miroah #transformerclan #ansgt #why did i write transformers warriors fanfiction

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80sfinalgrl · 1 year ago

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hello!!

i understand that…i’m not great with crowds and loud chaotic spaces either, but i love live music and something about the collective adrenaline is just the most amazing feeling!!

oh sweet, that sounds awesome!! and omg I would love to go the The Cure!!! my mom and I are both fans of them, and I remember hearing that they were in tour and wanting to go! and Fleetwood Mac would be a great one!! I like a lot of their music too, I’m finding we have a lot of favorites in common!!

The last big concert I went to was to go see Elton John a couple of summers ago! It’s probably my favorite I’ve been to, and it was a dream come true! Elton John is my all time favorite (he was number one on my wrap haha). I wish that I could’ve seen him and Billy Joel perform together, that would’ve been amazing!! Other than that, I would’ve really liked to see The Beatles perform and even now I want Paul McCartney to tour the US again! I know he’s working through Mexico right now…so maybe he’ll stop buy 🙏. I also would’ve loved to see Queen…and some old rock ‘n roll like Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, or Chuck Berry! Also! Seeing ABBA perform would be towards the top of my list!

A lot of the folks I mentioned up there are some of my favorites, but a side from that I really like The Eagles, a lot of funk, soul, and disco like Earth, Wind, and Fire and Sky and the Family Stone! I also really like jazz and swing, and I love Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Dean Martin, and a lot of great jazz pianists like Art Tatum, Bill Evans, Thelonious Monk, and Erroll Garner! What are some of your favorites?

- 🪩

the cure has been one of my favorite bands since my early teens omg, they were AMAZING and i’d love to go see them again :’) i hope you get the opportunity to go because they were fantastic live!!!

also same to all of those bands you listed!!! i wish i could have experienced some of the early rock and roll artists live for the first time, i’m sure that was such a wild experience and that would be so so cool. and abba and queen just sound like they’d be a ton of fun to see, especially in their prime lmao

i’m also really into that era of funk and soul and disco too!!! it’s not what i primarily listen to but i find myself going back to it a lot. i was brought up on so much music in my childhood, classic rock from my mom and oldies/funk/soul all came from my dad and stuff in between from both of them. so when i tell people that i listen to a little of everything i truly mean it lol. i’m so excited for later in the month when we can actually follow each other because we have so much shared music interests and i’m so excited to talk about it more!!! :)

#anon #mailbox #srs23 #🪩

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a-very-sparkly-nerd · 4 months ago

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I can honestly argue for each.

Moon: Connected to life and death, so all creatures connected to the arcanum are in a constant state of existing between those worlds. I think it would be entirely plausible that jumping into the lake at the Moon Nexus and undergoing some kind of trial (yes, very much or near exactly like Rayla did in TTM, and what went down for her then also ties into the rebirth motif the Moon is about) could rid a person of Dark Magic. Walking that thin line between the worlds of life and death is my reasoning, given that dying seemed to cleanse Viren of it, considering he went into a coma again in s4 after using Dark Magic again.

Ocean: This one is all about accepting that you can't control everything and going with the flow, which Dark Magic is the polar opposite of. Lots of cultures have magical sources of water (the 5 rivers of the Underworld in Greek mythology, Fountain of Youth, and arguably some other things such as amrita that aren't water exactly but are liquid, so you could argue for either), so it isn't a far stretch to guess that in-universe of TDP, which notably pulls from cultures and legends all around the world, there would be one, too. So drinking from one might be another way to purify yourself. And the one I think it would be is the Sea of the Castout. Aaravos cried it when he couldn't do anything except stand and watch, and him being the source of Dark Magic logically implies that he himself would also be a way to cure it (only you can free yourself, write your own book, etc). Drinking his tears to cleanse Dark Magic would be so beautifully and tragically ironic and full-circle.

Sky: Since the Sky arcanum is described as, paraphrased, knowing "that everything is connected" and freedom, I personally think that the Sky way of purification would just be to accept what you did. Knowing why you did it and knowing that it was wrong, but ultimately pushing forward. That you are everything you did but everything you did isn't you, all at the same time. Also, a leap of faith is probable, but that's very similar to the Star way. (This one is the one I was kinda pulling at strings with, in case you couldn't tell lol.)

I dunno, just my thoughts!

Getting this out before I forget it but thinking about how as of S6 we know of three distinct ways to undo dark magic corruption:

The Sun seed / fully formed Sun forge, connected to the Sun primal (and currently corrupted)

The healing mushroom magic, connected to the Earth primal, which can heal the dark magic corruption infecting the Sunforge (at least in biological creatures)

The star-light ritual, connected to Star magic, which can flat out repair the hole dark magic makes in your spirit like you never did dark magic in the first place

It makes me wonder if there are ways to remove dark magic taint / harm with the other three primals (Sky, Ocean, Moon), two of which Callum is already connected with, and one that he could glean to understand

#theories #fandom #tdp theory

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jahayla-parker · 2 years ago

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I have one for Peter to celebrate 100 followers.

Y/N is the daughter of Wanda and Vision (and she also possess the same abilities as Wanda) she’s dating Peter.

One night she gets a call from a crying Peter telling her to come to the school roof. When she gets there, she sees him on the floor crying. She goes over to him and hugs him, him hugging her back (afraid he'll lose her like he lost Aunt May). They stay like that for what feels like forever until MJ and Ned come and find them. They introduce them to Peter 2 and 3 and they agree to help cure the villains (basically the same scene from No Way Home)

When they get to the lab and get to work, Y/N notices some big cuts on Peter's face and uses her powers to heal them. They talk and Y/N wants to help them cure the villains. (I'm thinking Y/N can wear the same outfit as Wanda from MOM) .

During the fight, Y/N and Peter find the Green Goblin and begin fighting him. Peter loses control and begins to get more aggressive. Y/N tries to get him to stop but he won't listen. Peter 2 comes and helps Y/N reason with Peter to get him to stop.

(Can you just do the same ending as No Way Home but with Y/N remembering Peter even after the spell?)

Hope you like! ❤️🖤💜

Hiii! Thank u for this! I’ve been mentally writing one similar to this without te Wanda aspects of it, so This was a being able to actually write it out.

Thanks everyone for joining my celebration💟💜

Join my taglist here!

Loss: A NWH Holland!Spider-Man/Peter Parker

Summary: Peter has lost May and relies on gf!reader to help him. They fight and cure all the villains but are faced with Peter having to be forgotten by the world.

Fortunately, y/n remembers Peter even after the spell, but at what cost?

More details in the request above.

Warnings: NWH spoilers, death of May, angst, a few curses

Notes: when italics as used for whole paragraphs/sections it’s showing a flashback or otherwise previous event. I don’t think it was needed but hopefully cleans it up a bit lol.

Please lmk you guys want a part 2! Part 2 here

Waking up to her phone ringing loudly with Peter’s personalized ringtone, y/n abruptly mutes the sound so her mother won’t hear and then proceeds to answer his call.

“Petey? It’s late babe, is everything okay?” She asks, sitting up.

“C-ca-can you” Peter attempts, his voice breaking constantly.

“Peter?! What’s going on?! Where are you?! I’m coming to you!” Y/n promises, promptly getting out of bed and rushing to change into some clothes she can leave the house in.

“I-I’m on the school rooftop” he whispers, his voice still catching.

Slipping on a sweatshirt of Peter’s, she grabs her shoes but something feels off.

“Peter, are you safe?” She asks, wondering if his safety was in jeopardy and that was the cause behind her unease.

She would be uneasy with him simply crying as he was now, but this felt different.

“F-for now” he sniffles.

Squinting at his vague statement, y/n rushes over to her closet and decides to change once again.

As she changed into her scarlet colored “hero outfit” as the avengers called it, she kept Peter talking.

She hadn’t gotten him to explain what was happening that made him upset, but he’d finally stopped crying, him stating something about just hearing her voice making him less panicked.

Checking to ensure her outfit was complete, she zipped her boots.

Y/n threw on a black hoodie Peter bought her so that it concealed her leather corset-like top and threw her crown headpiece into her school bag.

She informed Peter she would have to hang up so she could get to him as she planned on using her levitation power to fly to him rather than walk or steal her mom’s car.

She was fairly experienced with using this power and used it more often than her mother Wanda, aka The Scarlet Witch did. Much to her mother’s disapproval as it often was done because y/n was late.

But, she knew she’d need both hands free to get to Peter safely and as quickly as she could.

As she rocketed across the sky, rain blowing past her once dry face, she looked around at her surroundings.

She and Peter always enjoyed looking at the lights of the city lighting up the evening sky and streets as they’d levitate/swing through the night.

However, tonight it was just her.

And while it was beautiful still, she couldn’t feel any positive emotions towards the city as she knew that something happened tonight here that made Peter upset.

She had told Peter she’d never use her abilities to try and read his mind, or otherwise do anything unethical, years ago when they first met.

However, tonight she dared to use her telepathy to communicate to Peter that she was nearly to him.

Doing so, she could feel the immense emotional pain he was experiencing and it nearly caused her to drop to the Brooklyn streets below her.

She had to fight to steady herself and keep her levitation going.

She also had to resist the urge to look around in his mind to see what was causing her precious boyfriend this much pain.

She knew Peter’s identity had been exposed but after Mr. Murdock helped him win his case against Mysterio’s false allegations, he’d started to feel more like himself.

She also knew that not getting into his dream school or even backup schools was troubling for him but she’d assured him they’d figure something out.

He felt horrible that he had impacted y/n’s college prospects as well, even though she assured him that her mother’s own mistakes a few years ago in Lagos already made it difficult.

She hadn’t heard much from him tonight as he simply told her he was going to speak to a mutual friend about college.

She knew he meant an avenger and while she didn’t think it was necessary, she figured no harm could really come of a simple conversation and asking for advice from one of their allies.

After all, they all knew who he was before his identity leaked and they had been sure to protect him and y/n from a lot of the more serious or dangerous aspects of their work.

She had no idea he’d went to Dr. Strange today to request he use a spell to undo the recent events. Let alone that he had done it to help y/n, MJ, and Ned with their schooling.

However, she was soon about to find out all of the chaos that erupted in the last 24hrs.

———

“Oh, Peter!” Y/n gasps, landing in the rooftop a few feet from him.

Peter’s head lifts and turns to her, breaking her heart as she sees the steady flow of tears on his face.

Y/n sprints to him and drops to her knees, her arms cradling his shaking body.

“What happened baby?” She asks, her hand pushing water out of his hair as she strokes his soaked head.

“M-May” he sobs, gripping onto y/n’s sweater with a vise grip.

“What about May?” She asks, her heart rate increasing as his does.

“I- I.. she… we…” he says, trying to figure out where to start.

“Shhh baby it’s okay. Where’s May Peter?” Y/n asked softly.

Peter sobbed more and held y/n closer to him, causing her to feel a tidal wave of nausea and anxiety rise as she contemplated what his reaction likely meant.

“Sh-she. She’s dead” he said, his body crumpling into her arms.

Y/n held her own emotions back for his sake and apologized to him as she merely held him to her.

She knew she didn’t need to apologize, she’d done nothing wrong.

But she wasn’t sure what to do and she knew what it was like to lose a loved one.

To lose a parental figure and have no control over it.

It was an unbearable pain that she wouldn’t wish upon anyone, certainly not Peter.

They sat there for a while just listening to each other’s heart beats and breathing.

“Peter, what happened?” Y/n asks, noticing his breathing has steadied from what it was when she arrived.

“I- I can’t” he whimpered, looking at his lap.

“Can you?” He asks, looking at her and tapping his head.

“Are you sure?” She asks. “Any limits?”

“No limits” he informs her, pulling her closer to him in desperation to feel her presence and know she’s here.

“Okay” she whispers, hesitantly reaching up to hold his face and let her telepathic ability connect easier.

Peter stared at her as she sifted through his memories.

He could feel the recollection of events faintly but realized she was manipulating it in a way that would allow him to not feel additional pain from it as she watched it unfold.

He knew she’d never try to erase his pain or emotions as much as she wanted him to be happy.

After a particularly rough mission, they talked about it and both agreed it was better to feel pain than to feel numb and that’s when she told him she’d never manipulate his feelings.

He acknowledged this was different.

It wasn’t his own brain forcing him to recall the memories at this moment.

If it had been, she would’ve left his emotional connection alone.

Instead it was the visual playback she was watching through his memories that was minutely noticeable rather than the memories themselves.

He watched her face trying to see her reactions and see if she blamed Peter the way he blamed himself.

Once she had finished, she lowered her hands as the tears she’d managed to contain thus far fell freely.

“I messed up” Peter whispers, hating that this is now causing his girlfriend pain as well, “and now May had to suffer”.

“Peter, this isn’t your fault and we’re going to get through this okay?” Y/n promises.

Peter forces a nod.

“N-no one has come to try to hurt you yet?” He asks, his eyes trying to look over her but the sweatshirt was covering her arms and upper body.

“No Peter. I’m safe, I’m here” she assures him.

Peter whimpers, “I was so worried you’d be hurt”.

Before she could reassure him again, he continued.

“If I don’t fix this, you could be. I… I can’t lose you. I already lost May… if something happened to you-” Peter rambles.

“It won’t. You won’t lose me. Okay?” She kisses his forehead as tears stream down both of their faces.

Peter snuggles in closely to her chest as he refuses to let her go, as if holding her tightly would prevent any harm to her.

Y/n embraces him back and rocks them slightly as she rests her chin on Peter’s head that’s tucked into her neck.

———

Neither one are sure how long they’ve been in that position when Peter hears someone approaching.

Peter instantly pulls back and stands up, stepping in front of y/n as she starts to stand.

Y/n places her hand on his shoulder to calm him when she see’s it’s Ned and MJ.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Y/n asks as Peter’s fear lowers but he doesn’t move away from shielding y/n.

“We heard what happened…” MJ replies.

“Yeah… the news covered it. We’re sorry Peter” Ned says, walking towards the couple.

After multiple apologies and attempts to comfort Peter, Ned bites his lip as MJ gives y/n a face that says she’s about to drop some big news.

Last time MJ made that face towards y/n it was about MJ admitting she actually had feelings for a classmate.

However, tonight y/n knew that face was likely a much bigger topic.

“What is it?” Y/n asks hesitantly.

Peter looks between his friends and girlfriend as he waits.

“So… you know how you said the villains were from other universes?” Ned asks, looking at y/n since she’d been the one to catch them up.

The news obviously covered the villains showing up out of nowhere, May’s death, and Peter’s connection to all of it.

However, it didn’t cover what exactly transpired with any detail which left y/n to do that for MJ and Ned.

Y/n nods her head, prompting MJ to respond, “well, we kinda knew that already”.

“How?” Peter asks, rubbing his already red eyes to get the rain out.

“That’s not a very easy answer… see… MJ and I were at my Lola’s house… watching the… news. When some people showed up” Ned explains.

“Are you guys hurt?” Peter panics.

“No, they were not villains” MJ says, “trust me, I even threw bread at them”.

“Bread?” Y/n laughs once in shock.

“Who were they?” Peter asked.

“Well, why don’t you ask them?” Ned points just as two shadows appear.

Peter steps back in front of y/n again protectively, even though her hands are already glowing in preparation of an attack.

“Aye, wait wait, woah” Peter blurts as the two men hop closer to their group.

“Sorry, about May” the older one says, his hands held up in surrender.

“Yeah. Sorry” the other one says, y/n and Peter noticing his outfit is similar to Peter’s Spider-Man suit.

This man tries to explain that he knows what it’s like but Peter cuts him off.

“No please don’t tell me you know what it is you’re going through” Peter remarks.

He turns his head back to look at y/n only to see she’s at his side now instead.

He makes eye contact with her before looking back to the man, “y/n is the only one here who knows and she didn’t even try to tell me that. She let me feel what I’m dealing with. So you don’t get to tell me you understand and hope it helps. She- May is gone”.

Squeezing Peter’s hand, y/n eyes the two men in front of them trying to understand what is happening.

“And it’s all my fault” he chokes.

Y/n tightens her grip on his hand as he holds his ground with the others, letting him know she didn’t agree about his self blame and that she was here for him.

———

It took some time but Peter and y/n were informed and caught up on who these two guys were.

Turns out… they were Peter Parker… well a Peter Parker.

Evidently there were Peter Parkers who were Spider-Man in other universes and when Dr. Strange did the spell, it brought them here.

It took some convincing to get Peter, her Peter, to once again agree to help the villains recover and get home.

Now they were seated in the school’s science lab, working on antidote methods for each villain.

Y/n pushed her notepad away and turned to face Peter. The real Peter. Her Peter.

“Oh Pete, do they hurt?” Y/n asks, her thumb underlining the gashes on his face.

“A bit” he admits, his hands on her thigh, “but I’ll be okay”.

She shakes her head and raises her other hand to cup his face.

“It’s an easy fix” she lies.

It wasn’t a particularly difficult task given her abilities but it was one she didn’t have a ton of experience with.

You’d think with her boyfriend being Spider-Man that she’d have used her powers to fix his wounds and ailments on a nightly basis.

However, she’d only recently learned how to utilize this particular power.

It had taken a random elementary school aged child bleeding in Europe after having fallen from the Ferris wheel during Mysterio’s attack projections for her to learn she could.

She’d watched the kid trying to limp away from the scene but struggling due to the large leg wound.

Planning on just applying pressure, y/n rushed to her and placed her hands on the injury and felt this tingling sensation in her hands.

When she pulled her hands back, the child’s leg was healed.

She’d worked to replicate that healing ability since and learned that -as with most of her powers- it required great concentration on the task at hand.

This was particularly challenging tonight considering there were two strangers with them (who shared her boyfriend’s new and alter ego) in their school lab that they’d all broken into in order to cure villains that killed Aunt May.

It was a lot to process to say the least.

“Are you sure about this Peter?” Y/n asked the pressing question she suppressed asking until his cuts had healed under her fingers.

“About?” He asks, kissing her hands as a thank you.

“This whole curing them thing” she says, shrugging.

She knew how it sounded, but she knew what it was like to be in his position.

She also was hurting herself over May’s death as they’d been very close.

“You don’t think we should?” He asks.

“It’s not that. Peter you’re incredible and I’ll do whatever it is you want to do. It’s just that need to know it’s okay if you’re hesitant about this” she tells him, looking into his eyes.

“I am a bit… namely with…” he trails off but y/n nods to tell him she knows who he’s referring to.

“But I think it’s what May would want me to do” he adds.

“I agree, it’s definitely a May thing and you pushing past your reservations is definitely a Peter thing” y/n comments, squeezing his hand.

“A Peter thing?” He laughs softly.

“Well a you thing I guess. I don’t know about the other Peters, but they’re here after all, so probably” she explains.

Peter nods, looking around at the older guys who share his name and identity.

His fear spikes knowing what they told him about losing their loved ones and namely about Gwen…

Y/n can see the turmoil in Peter’s eyes prompting her to squeeze his hand so he looks her way.

“You share a name and a hero identity. But you’re not the exact same. Things aren’t going to play out the same way. You’re my Peter, my Spider-Man. And together we’re going to accomplish this side by side” she assures him.

“Together” Peter nods, pulling her in for another hug.

———

“Osborne, please, I know you’re in there” y/n argues, struggling against the grip Green Goblin has on her.

She could easily blast her powers and send him flying, but that wouldn’t allow her to inject him with the serum they needed to cure him.

“As I told your little friend, Norman’s on sabbatical honey” he chuckles darkly.

Y/n groans and lightly pulses her power to send him off of her but keep him in near distance.

“We’re trying to help” she remarks, standing up and walking towards him with flaming hands ready.

“I don’t need your help” he hisses, stepping on to the mini hoverboard he used.

Y/n raises her hands to shield off the shots he begins firing at her.

Meanwhile, Peter (1) finishes tossing Ned one of the solutions when his spidey senses begin alerting him.

He throws his head back and forth, looking between each villain and his teammates.

His pace quickens when he still cannot find y/n.

His heart races, thumping wildly against his chest as his strained eyes search through the dark.

He mentally counts off which villains he’s found and which he hasn’t, hoping maybe he’ll find the villain she’s with first and then find her.

Just then, shots ring out and his body freezes as realization hits him.

She’s with Green Goblin.

She’s fighting Green Goblin, alone.

His eyes narrowing on anything green, he locates y/n and shoots a web as far as he can, swinging himself off a bar and closer to them.

His breathing hitches as he sees the panic on her face as her shield wavers slightly from exhaustion.

Y/n curses herself for not being more diligent in the training her mother wanted her to do.

Peter uses his webs to pull the hoverboard out from under Osborne’s body, sending him crashing down.

Y/n drops her shield and rushes to them as Peter lifts the hoverboard above his head and walks towards Osborne.

Y/n sees the rage in his eyes and decides to use her telekinetic ability to pull the board from his hands and set it down elsewhere.

Peter frowns before focusing back on Osborne as they exchange fists.

Y/n helps Peter in trying to incapacitate him so they can cure him.

However, without using her full abilities and both her and Peter being exhausted mentally and physically, they’re struggling.

Osborne gets a decent strike in and uses a shattered piece of glass from the ground to hit y/n in the abdomen.

Peter notices as she lands on the ground, pressing on her wound.

One downside to her healing ability? It doesn’t work on herself.

Peter was already enraged and wanting to kill Osborne but he fought it for May, for y/n, and the vision they saw of who he was.

But now, killing Osborne is the only option Peter can see. The only path before him.

Peter flips himself backwards to grab the board and while his webs deactivated the majority of weapons on it, the blades on the points at the front are still functional.

That’s all he needs to finish this.

Peter feels a surge of energy as he thinks about how ironic, how almost poetic, it will be to use his hoverboard to kill Osborne the way he killed May.

“Peter! Don’t” y/n yells, realizing his intent.

She scrambles to her feet and tries to reach him but she knows she’ll be too late.

She debates firing a bolt of energy towards the board to break it, but rejects it knowing her injury may cause her aim to be off and hit him.

“Peter please! This isn’t you! Don’t do this!” She pleads, shakily stepping closer to him.

While earlier tonight, she wondered if he really wanted to cure them, she never saw this coming.

She simply assumed maybe he’d just want to send them home without curing them first.

Not kill.

In her peripheral vision she sees Peter 2 running over and begs him to help stop Peter 1.

After much struggling, her Peter finally submits and drops the drone/hoverboard.

Peter 2 takes the syringe and injects Osborne as her Peter rushes to her.

“Are you okay?” He asks, pushing his hand against her wound.

“I’m okay Pete. It’s over now, look” she says, pointing to where Osborne, the true Osborne, is sitting next to Peter 2.

He nods and strikes her face with his free hand, “we need to get you help”.

“My mom can handle it” she says, laughing.

“Your mom will kill me, rightfully so” Peter sighs.

“Stop. It’s not your fault Peter” she argues.

Peter helps her up and supports her weight as they walk after she fights him carrying her.

“What’s that?” Y/n asks, pointing towards the sky where there is a bright purple glow.

Peter gulps and looks at Peter 2, “can you get her to safety? I need to handle this”.

“Peter what?” She asks, reaching for him as Peter 2 holds her up.

“I’ll explain when I can” he kisses her forehead before launching himself towards where Dr. Strange was waiting.

———

“No, absolutely not” y/n cries, shaking her head so adamantly it causes her torso to shift an tug on her poorly done stitches.

Since she couldn’t heal herself, Peter 3 used the stitching from her backpack (she’d brought with to carry the serums) and a shard of metal to stitch the wound.

He’d had experience stitching his own wounds, but he had limited resources here and y/n knew she’d need her mother to cleanse the wound and heal it so it wouldn’t be infected.

"I'll find you. okay? I promise you, whatever happens, I’ll find you, and we'll be together, and everything will be good again” Peter promises, cupping her face.

She shakes her head as tears keep falling, “I don’t like this. Peter… this plan sucks. Magic sucks. I’d give mine up to not lose you”.

" I'll always find my way back to you." He assures her, rubbing some dirt and dried blood from her cheek.

"Hey…. no tears, alright? This isn't goodbye” he says.

“I could never forget you, but I don’t like this risk. Magic has fucked us over in the past. Please don’t” y/n pleads, a firm grip on his suit.

"Y/n, I have to. I’m so sorry, I never meant to get you involved or get you hurt. I have to fix this and this is how” he says, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Fine. But Peter, you... you must know, before anything else happens tonight. You must know that you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me” she says.

Peter closes his eyes and holds her tightly.

As the sky flows brighter, he pulls back and gives her a desperate, needy kiss.

“I love you Petey” she whines, resting her head on his forehead.

“I love you y/n y/m/n y/l/n. And I promise, I’ll make you remember me. I’ll explain everything. We’ll figure it out, together” he promises before heading back to Dr. Strange.

Y/n sobs as MJ and Ned embrace her.

They all watch as Peter and Dr. Strange begin the spell. Y/n attempts to throw up a shield around her brain.

But her exhaustion, injury, and promise to Peter to let him do this stop her.

Instead, she feels a tightness in her chest as she watches the sky glow so bright it forces her to close her eyes.

———2 months later ———

Peter felt his hands shake as he stood outside y/n’s door.

He groaned as the internal battle in his head reigned on.

For the last two months, Peter had kept his distance.

He tried to keep his promise, he really did.

Immediately upon the successful completion of Dr. Strange’s spell, Peter drafted a note trying to explain to y/n who he was.

A week later he was ready and went to the cafe MJ and y/n worked at.

He had the detailed note in his hand as he entered the cafe, seeing MJ at the counter and Ned drinking from a mug next to her.

His eyes darted around for the one person he desperately needed to see.

“Can I help you? A name for your order perhaps?” MJ asked, clearly not recognizing him.

Peter knew the plan had worked when he returned to no home and little to no belongings but hearing his friends not recognizing him hit harder.

He looked at the scratch above MJ’s eye and then the one on Ned’s arm.

While the sight of their injuries joined his plague of guilt, he knew seeing y/n’s would cripple him.

“I.. I’m Peter. Yo-your head, are you okay?” Peter asked.

“Oh, uh, yeah. I don’t know how it happened. I think probably a car accident as my friend Ned” Mj said pointing towards him, “has a cut too and so does our friend y/n”.

Peter forces a tight nod, “and you’re all okay?”.

“We are mostly. Y/N’s got infected as she was really upset after whatever happened and refused to let anyone treat it. She’s better now, but it wasn’t good.” MJ told him.

Peter felt bile in his throat as he crumpled the note in his coat pocket.

He knew it wasn’t likely y/n remembered him, she wasn’t supposed to after all.

But, her reaction told him she at least knew something was off and it caused her to act against her best interests.

And he was the one to blame for that.

He was the reason she was hurt.

He was the reason she felt off after the spell.

He was the reason she refused care.

Even if she didn’t remember him, he was the reason behind her trauma.

He couldn’t be that reason anymore.

If she never remembered him, she’d be safe.

If she never remembered him, she’d be happy.

If she never remembered him, she’d move on.

If she never remembered him, she’d find someone who deserved her.

If she never remembered him, she could live her life.

If she never remembered him, he would hurt for the rest of time.

But, If she never remembered him, she’d be better off so the pain he’d have would be worth it.

“Oh, I’m sorry” Peter said, ducking his head and quickly leaving the cafe.

Just as he stepped into the cold, he could hear her voice as she asked MJ what she missed.

His heart shattered as he hear y/n whisper his name, “Peter?”

He wasn’t sure if the confusion in her tone was her wondering why he was leaving abruptly without ordering, if some part of her recognized his name, or if she was simply reading the name MJ put down for his order.

He wouldn’t let the desire to find out win. He pushed it down and closed the door behind him without looking back.

That was two months ago.

Since then, he tried calling her, texting her, going to the cafe to see her, etc. But this battle in his head stopped him every time.

He let the guilt for May’s death and y/N’s injury take ahold of him.

He concluded the voice in his head telling him he was to blame and that the only way y/n could truly be safe was to let her forget him.

Yet, here he was… note in his shaking hand, knocking on her door.

Before he could regret his choice, the door opened and revealed y/n.

She was wearing one of his sweatshirts, her eyes red, no makeup on, blotchy skin from crying, an icecream container in her hand.

She looked just as beautiful as when he saw her last.

Her breath caught suddenly before she set the tub of icecream down.

Peter watched her for a moment, wondering how to explain who he was.

Little did he know, she knew.

Of course she knew.

She knew from the moment after the spell.

She didn’t now how or why she’d remembered him en no or else did.

But she did.

Everyone told her she was crazy.

That she made up her boyfriend as if he were some imaginary friend.

They told her Peter Parker did not exist.

But she knew they were wrong.

In fact, there were at least three Peter Parkers.

She’d met them just the other night.

There was only one though that was her Peter.

She needed her Peter back.

Since she remembered him, she hoped MJ and Ned would too.

But they didn’t.

She was all alone in her memories of the selfless boy she’d fallen in love with.

The boy she fought side by side with to protect their city and the world.

Yet, no one knew his name.

No one knew him.

No one but her.

It hurt her on a daily basis and yet Peter never showed.

He promised.

She trusted him.

She spent that first week trying find him.

But due to the spell, there were no traces of him anywhere.

Roughly a week after that night, she’d been at work when it seemed he stopped by.

She’d been in the bathroom but upon entering the cafe lounge, she felt this weight lift and she curiously looked around to see why.

Then she saw him.

Peter had his back to her, one foot out the cafe door.

But she’d recognize him anywhere, even from his side and/or back profile.

Her breath hitched but she called after him weakly.

He paused for a fraction of a second, reaffirming her recognition of him.

But then he was gone.

He heard her but didn’t respond.

He never turned around.

He never looked to her.

He never tried to tell her like he promised.

He just cut her off.

Now months later, he is standing in front of her apartment.

How he even knew where she lived was beyond her as she’d moved since last seeing him.

She couldn’t stand sleeping in a room where Peter had been.

A room where the photos she had framed with him in them were suddenly gaps on her wall.

A room where he’d comforted her when she needed it.

A room where that no longer happened.

A room that was a constant reminder of him.

A room that was a constant reminder of what they were.

A room that was a constant reminder of that night.

A room that was a constant reminder of May’s death.

A room that was a constant reminder that he was gone.

A room that was a constant reminder that they were done.

A room that was a constant reminder of his broken promise.

Her mom and Happy helped her get her own apartment hoping it would help her.

They attributed her suffering to May’s death.

And wile that was part of it, that wasn’t the whole story.

“Can I help you?” She asks, putting up an emotional wall between them.

“Uhh… yeah. This will sound crazy… but please hear me out. My name is Peter and-“ Peter began, scuffing his across her doormat.

“I know who you are Peter. Why are you here?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Y-y-you do?” He stutters, eyes wide but a small smile starting.

“Mhm. Of course I do. We went to school together, we fought together with the avengers, we went nearly everywhere together” She begins.

“You were my best friend, my confidant, my l-l-love of my life… my boyfriend” She finishes, shaking her head.

Peter feels his heart swell at her compliments and recognition of him, but his stomach drops at seeing the emotion in her eyes.

“Well I guess you technically still are my boyfriend since we never officially broke up. I guess I’ll fix that now for us-“ she begins, desperately trying to reform her distance from him so he couldn’t hurt her heart again.

“Y/n, I-“ he says, his voice weak.

“No Peter. I don’t want to hear it. I’ve waited over TWO MONTHS for you to give me this conversation. Two months with nothing from you” y/n says, hoping he’ll just tell her he was too nervous she wouldn’t remember him to seek her out.

“You weren’t supposed to remember me” he whispers.

Y/n scoffs, “yeah well how well did that work out? Hmm? Because I do Peter. I remember it all”.

“I- I’m sorry” he sighs.

“For what Peter? For lying to me? For breaking your promise? For betraying my trust? For breaking my heart?” Y/n chokes as tears start falling.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean to hurt you” He frowns.

“Yet here we are” she says coldly, trying to keep her walls up against him.

“I thought it would be what was best for you” he admits, lifting his eyes to look at her.

“W-what?” She whispers, confused.

“I thought a fresh start with someone else would be good” He sighs.

“A fresh start?! So it was your way of ending things! That’s fantastic Peter! You couldn’t even just tell me you didn’t end to be with me any more. No you had to pretend I didn’t exist. That-… that we didn’t exist all because you wanted a fresh start?!” Y/n snaps, her chest tightening.

“Do you truly think so little of me?" Peter asks, tears in his eyes, “I didn’t want to breakup with you. I wanted you to move on to someone else, someone who wouldn’t jeopardize your safety “.

“You don’t get to make that choice for me Peter!” Y/n yells, the hurt in her chest reaching maximum capacity.

"I thought you’d forget me and if it stayed that way you’d be safe. It wasn’t easy but I tried to forget you. To protect you. I’ve never tried so hard in my life. But, it's impossible. It’s simply not possible for me to stop thinking about you” Peter rambles.

“So what?! I don’t get a choice because you wanted to ‘protect’ me. You fight to forget me but now that you can’t and now that you’re hurt , you come ? If that’s the case, you’re saying your pain isn’t worth my safety all of a sudden when for the last two months it evidently was?!” Y/n argues.

“No, it’s just… I realized that, like you just said, it wasn’t my choice to make. That if I focused the energy and time I put into trying to forget you, into getting stronger, faster, and otherwise more adept to precut you that we wouldn’t have to lose what we had not risk your safety. “ he explains, rubbing his neck.

“Your safety always has and always will come first. I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t thought this through meticulously” he adds, trying to grab her hand.

She steps back, “I don’t need you to protect me Peter. I can take care of myself”.

“I know. You’re more than capable but I don’t ever want to be the reason you’re hurt” he sighs, looking at her side even though it is covered by her sweatshirt.

Y/n sighs and runs her hand through her tangled hair, “I don’t know what to do here Peter. I don’t know where to go from here or how”.

"Well, we're a team. Remember? So let's face this one together” he suggests.

“Together? Is that meant to be a cruel joke?! Where was the togetherness when everyone called me crazy? When everyone told me I made you up? When I had to cut MJ and Ned out of my life because they reminded me too much of you while they didn’t even recall who you were?!” Y/n asks angrily.

“I didn't mean for any of this to happen!” He defends.

“I know Peter. But you don’t get it, that makes this so much harder because then I feel bad for hating what you did to me. Because it wasn’t intentional. Except that part of it was. The outcomes may not have been what you wanted but they were a result of your choices and actions the worst part is you don't know what it was like” she sobs.

“If you’d wanted to, you could’ve talked about me to anyone. When I tried, I was told I was crazy. I had no one to go to. I should’ve at least had you. But I didn’t because you chose to remove yourself from my life without even consulting me. I was told I was crazy so often by those I cared about that I started to wonder if maybe I was crazy. After all, the Peter I knew, would never break a promise he made me, let alone my heart. But you did” y/n says, her fists clenching to stop shaking.

“I don’t care what your reasons were, you hurt me. I can't believe I ever trusted you...” she finishes, refusing to look at him as tears stream down both of their faces.

"I will never stop apologizing for this y/n but please, just... tell me how to fix this. " he begs.

“Peter, you lied to me. You abandoned me. I don’t think you can fix something like that” y/n says, breaking her own heart at the confession.

“I can't lose you...” he cries.

“Don’t you dare Peter! I was the one who lost you first, not the other way around! You say you don’t want to lose me yet chose to push me out of your life” y/n gasps.

“I know! Believe me, I’ve questioned myself everyday. Wondering if I was doing was really what was best for you or not. Because it hurt like hell. I’m sorry. I want to fix us, I want you, I want us back. So please?! What am I supposed to do?! I beg of you! Tell me, what the hell I am supposed to do?! " he sobs.

“If you don’t want to hurt me, please don't look at me like that...” y/n whispers, her eyes breaking away from him.

“Like what?” He whispers.

“Like you’re still in love with me, like you’re still the same exact boy I loved, like you’re still my Peter” she sighs.

“But I am y/n, I swear. You have to believe me” he pleads, stepping closer.

“God damnit Peter! I did! I believed in you, in us” She cries, stepping away, “but now…”.

“Now what?” Peter asks hesitantly a more of awkward and tense silence.

“I can’t trust you anymore” She concludes, choking on another sob as she shuts the door between them.

———

Do you guys want a part 2 with a happy ending?! Let me know!💟💜 Part 2 here.

Peter taglist: @galaxyholland @spideysbae @mcushvft @fishingirl12 @raajali3 @justapurrcat

Why am I in such an angsty mood? Poor Peter has been suffering 😭

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